April 12, 2012
F1 China Practice 1: Liveblogging!
(PRE-SESSION) So we're here, after three weeks of downtime. Seems like forever, honestly. What sport are we talking about again? While we've been asleep, the F1 Circus has been active as usual, adding new aerodynamic fiddlybits here and there, while trying to keep anybody from noticing. Meanwhile, the wailing and wringing of hands over Bahrain's human rights violations may just keep F1 away for a second straight year... that news will be coming down soon enough, probably before Quals.
(The liveblogging is now located underneath the "more" button.)
more...
(The liveblogging is now located underneath the "more" button.)
more...
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April 08, 2012
F1 On SPEED!: China 2012
And we're back to the Circus! After what will be a three week layoff, the teams have made their way to Shanghai for the third race of the year, the Grand Prix of China. Let's take a look at the track map for the Shanghai International Circuit...
Hermann Tilke's stink is all over this one, it's true. As much as I'm not particularly fond of the layout, there's no doubt it's given us some really good races in the past few years... heck, in 2010 it was the race of the year. With this season's lack of predictability, who knows what we're gonna see this time around? Let's hope it's a good one, because it might be our last race for another month.
There is a growing movement to cancel the Grand Prix of Bahrain again this year; the government is still doing Very Bad Things to the citizenry, the protestors have vowed to cause nightmares aplenty at the Grand Prix, the teams are twitchy about their safety... in other words, exactly like last year. The GP of Bahrain is scheduled for 4/22. The next race after it is Spain, on May 13th. Well, if nothing else, the teams'll have plenty of time to put their changes on the cars before Catalunya.
Makes for a rather disjointed season, though. F1U! will be around, doing our best to keep the readers interested, though. Fortunately, we'll have the aid of the good burghers of SPEED's Legendary Announce Team, bringing us all the action. Here's their schedule for coverage:
Thursday
Practice 1: 9p - 1030p streaming
Friday
Practice 2: 1a - 240a live
Practice 3: 10p - 11p streaming
Saturday
Quals: 1a - 230a plausibly live
Sunday
Grand Prix of China: 130a - 4a live.
All times are Pond Central. Subtract two hours for San Francisco, add an hour for New York, and whatever time you feel like making it on the Moon.
I might be attempting a liveblog for P1, and will definitely do so for P3. The Quals writeup will be late; there's a registration event at Duck U Saturday, and I'll have the Bookstore open from 10a to 3p to serve the incoming fledgelings.
We'll see you right here then!
Hermann Tilke's stink is all over this one, it's true. As much as I'm not particularly fond of the layout, there's no doubt it's given us some really good races in the past few years... heck, in 2010 it was the race of the year. With this season's lack of predictability, who knows what we're gonna see this time around? Let's hope it's a good one, because it might be our last race for another month.
There is a growing movement to cancel the Grand Prix of Bahrain again this year; the government is still doing Very Bad Things to the citizenry, the protestors have vowed to cause nightmares aplenty at the Grand Prix, the teams are twitchy about their safety... in other words, exactly like last year. The GP of Bahrain is scheduled for 4/22. The next race after it is Spain, on May 13th. Well, if nothing else, the teams'll have plenty of time to put their changes on the cars before Catalunya.
Makes for a rather disjointed season, though. F1U! will be around, doing our best to keep the readers interested, though. Fortunately, we'll have the aid of the good burghers of SPEED's Legendary Announce Team, bringing us all the action. Here's their schedule for coverage:
Thursday
Practice 1: 9p - 1030p streaming
Friday
Practice 2: 1a - 240a live
Practice 3: 10p - 11p streaming
Saturday
Quals: 1a - 230a plausibly live
Sunday
Grand Prix of China: 130a - 4a live.
All times are Pond Central. Subtract two hours for San Francisco, add an hour for New York, and whatever time you feel like making it on the Moon.
I might be attempting a liveblog for P1, and will definitely do so for P3. The Quals writeup will be late; there's a registration event at Duck U Saturday, and I'll have the Bookstore open from 10a to 3p to serve the incoming fledgelings.
We'll see you right here then!
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March 24, 2012
F1 Quals: Malaysia 2012
It was hot, sticky, and a bit cloudy when the challengers took to the track for Qualifying, but teams have to look ahead to the race as well. Will the potential for lousy weather in the race make a difference in setups? Let's take a look at the provisional grid for the 2012 Grand Prix of Malaysia:
Another McLaren one-two, another great performance from Renault Lotus, and another headscratcher from Red Bull. While 4th and 6th are hardly bad positions to be in, and Vettel will be starting on the hard tires, for a team used to effortlessly claiming pole whenever they felt like it, it has to be the same as not even making it out of Q1.
Speaking of not making it out of Q1, the Red Cars very nearly met that fate today. Felipe Massa burned soft tires in both Q1 and Q2, and HWMNBN had to use his softs in all three... and the best he could do was 9th. He also had a balky KERS unit, from all reports. He said it wouldn't have made a difference as far as position goes, but it would have closed the nearly 1 second gap to 8th.
The best news of the day, though, was that both HRTs made it into the race, though Kittylitter was having overheating issues and probably won't make it far on Sunday... unless it rains, in which case all bets are off.
Speaking of rain, if anybody is set up for a wet track tomorrow, they're being very subtle about it. I suppose it's possible that the Red Cars and the Saubers have a rain setup; their times were consistent across the board in all three Quals sessions, while the people above them got faster as time went on. Something tells me that no, they aren't, they're just legitimately slow in comparison.
Two drivers received five-grid-spot penalties. Mumbles had a compromised gearbox after Australia and had a new one put in, and Kovaleinninnie got his penalty for passing behind the safety car last week. So the HRTs won't be last on the grid, and Kimchee will be 10th.
See you Sunday for the F1U!
Another McLaren one-two, another great performance from Renault Lotus, and another headscratcher from Red Bull. While 4th and 6th are hardly bad positions to be in, and Vettel will be starting on the hard tires, for a team used to effortlessly claiming pole whenever they felt like it, it has to be the same as not even making it out of Q1.
Speaking of not making it out of Q1, the Red Cars very nearly met that fate today. Felipe Massa burned soft tires in both Q1 and Q2, and HWMNBN had to use his softs in all three... and the best he could do was 9th. He also had a balky KERS unit, from all reports. He said it wouldn't have made a difference as far as position goes, but it would have closed the nearly 1 second gap to 8th.
The best news of the day, though, was that both HRTs made it into the race, though Kittylitter was having overheating issues and probably won't make it far on Sunday... unless it rains, in which case all bets are off.
Speaking of rain, if anybody is set up for a wet track tomorrow, they're being very subtle about it. I suppose it's possible that the Red Cars and the Saubers have a rain setup; their times were consistent across the board in all three Quals sessions, while the people above them got faster as time went on. Something tells me that no, they aren't, they're just legitimately slow in comparison.
Two drivers received five-grid-spot penalties. Mumbles had a compromised gearbox after Australia and had a new one put in, and Kovaleinninnie got his penalty for passing behind the safety car last week. So the HRTs won't be last on the grid, and Kimchee will be 10th.
See you Sunday for the F1U!
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March 23, 2012
F1 Malaysia Practice 3 Liveblogging!
(PRE-SESSION) As I've completely given up on my fantasy baseball team being anything more than suck and fail this year, I'm going to do something new: liveblog a third practice session! Unlike Friday Practice sessions, P3 is only 60 minutes long, and it's often a coinflip as to what you're gonna see. Sometimes it's everybody on track going hell-bent for leather, but others nobody is even thinking about going out. Let's see what the weather is doing... hm. Clouds over the track, 79° and humid, but no rain. 50% chance of thunderstorms though. Quals will be at 3am Pond Central time, so there's plenty of time for the weather to change between now and then...
(ALMOST GONE GREEN) I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Microsoft Security Essentials for allowing me to be able to do this sort of thing. My previous antivirii programs made blogging a nightmare, particularly uploading pictures. They got in the way constantly. MSE on the other hand is barely noticeable. Good job, Microsoft!
(902pm) Hmm... the stream was supposed to have started two minutes ago.
(905pm) Oh. It appears that somewhere along the way, I wrote down the wrong start time for P3. It actually begins at Midnight, not at 9pm. Well. Gosh. Um... so, anybody for Parcheezi?
(ALMOST GONE GREEN) I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Microsoft Security Essentials for allowing me to be able to do this sort of thing. My previous antivirii programs made blogging a nightmare, particularly uploading pictures. They got in the way constantly. MSE on the other hand is barely noticeable. Good job, Microsoft!
(902pm) Hmm... the stream was supposed to have started two minutes ago.
(905pm) Oh. It appears that somewhere along the way, I wrote down the wrong start time for P3. It actually begins at Midnight, not at 9pm. Well. Gosh. Um... so, anybody for Parcheezi?
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March 22, 2012
F1 Malaysia Practice 1 Liveblogging!
(PRE-SESSION) So here we are again! I didn't expect that I'd have the chance to do this, but I've pretty much given up on my fantasy baseball league preparation. There's no way I'll be able to do enough research in two nights, so instead I will do F1 to you. A quick check of the weather sites points out that it's not raining in Kuala Lumpur, so we should have a useful practice session ahead. To watch along with this liveblog, point yourself to SPEED's F1 stream. As in the past liveblogging sessions, the session is 90 minutes in length. I'll be using the time remaining as the time notation: if you see (1:02:30), that means 27.5 minutes have gone by in the session. Read from (1:30:00). Do not taunt happyfunball. If happyfunball begins to smoke, seek shelter and cover head. Happyfunball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Accept no substitutes!
(1:30:00) ...and we're green!
(1:28:10) Back a few years ago, Lotus Caterham said that they'd be based entirely in Malaysia. Their factory was to be there, the cars would be built there, the whole lot. Wonder what happened to that plan?
(1:25:40) Interestingly enough, everybody is making for the track to turn a few laps... including the heavy-hitters. I've seen McLaren, Ferrari, Mercedes, Williams, FIndia, all on the circuit already, pretty much anybody but Red Bull and Toro Rosso. Usually the big boys wait a bit before they go out. Even stranger, Slappy Schumacher was perambulating around the course with his rainlight flashing... do they know something we don't?
(1:22:30) Speak of the debbil, here's a Toro Rosso doing a lap, and Sebby Vettel getting ready to go out.
(1:20:15) Narain Kittylitter is getting ready to try and get a few laps in for HRT before the car falls apart again. Optimistic, isn't he?
(1:16:50) I'm not saying that Paul di Resta is having problems with his Force India, but he was just passed by the Marussia of Tim O'Glockenspiel. I'm also noticing that he's not activating his DRS at all. And his rain light is flashing.
(1:13:34) It's not raining, but from the look of the skies, it will be soon enough. And Kittylitter takes the field!
(1:11:11) Oof. To whit:
For those unschooled in the fine art of FIA Graphics Packages, let me translate. In the lower left, you see two times: the current fastest lap time at that point of the lap (in this case, 1:01.348) in red, then Kittylitter's time at that same point. The HRT was over four seconds slower. I don't care that it was an installation lap, the chassis just looked slow.
(1:05:10) Felipe Massa's father was just shown on camera. He still looks like Joe Torre.
(1:03:06) Lettuce Grosjean is having problems with his Renault Lotus. How could I tell?
Please note the dial on the left-hand side of the screen. It shows that the car is going 101 kph (approx 60mph) in 7th gear, at around 6000rpm. Usually you'd be ~18000rpm and 180mph in 7th gear. That's how I could tell.
(1:03:00) Well, that and his radio call to the pits: "There's something wrong with the car."
(56:19) I wonder how it feels to be the pilot of the camera helicopter at a F1 race. You get yourself all lined up, you put on max power as the F1 car comes off the hairpin... and it leaves you behind like you were standing still. Must be kinda demoralizing.
(52:40) Looks like Vettel, Hamilton and Slappy are playing a game of "who's got the bigger one." One sets fast lap, then one of the others come along and kick it over.
(51:07) Case in point: Hamilton just kicked Vettel in the shins, taking fast lap honors by a half-second, despite smoking his tires like they had been coated in gasoline.
(49:50) Paul di Resta's thoughts: "Note to self: F1 cars drift very very poorly" Force India pit wall's thoughts: "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
(47:45) Still no zeppelin sighting. I fear the worst.
(46:49) If you had 43 minutes, 11 seconds in the HRT Breakdown Time pool, please claim your winnings at the front desk.
No word on what caused it yet, but I think "Being a HRT" is cause enough.
(42:50) @GreyDuck, that's what the practice sessions are for, to get the kinks out. Of course, sometimes that isn't entirely possible *coughHRTcough*.
(40:40) The FIA reports "no rain for the rest of the session." Teams up and down the pit lane immediately begin reaching for their umbrellas.
(37:45) I wonder if Pete Rose is regretting his decision to purchase a drive with HRT today. His mechanic: "We can lower the ride height, that should help with the grip levels. Does it feel like there's no rear grip at all?" Rose: "You can put a mechanic on the back, too." At least that's what it sounded like he said. Snark, thy name is Pedro de la Rosa.
(34:44) HWMNBN just turned in the 15th fastest lap of the day, only 1.5 seconds off the fast lap time. Which is better than his previous lap, some 10 seconds slower.
(33:20) Now I'm curious why that press photographer had a "no dogs" sticker on his very long camera lens.
(31:50) Felipe Massa has elected a Pope.
Actually, that's been happening a lot today, and not just to lesser drivers. Is it just because it's first practice? Or is there some odd conflict betwixt the tires and the Malaysian asphalt? Probably the former.
(27:35) Sergio Perez is standing in the garage, looking like he's about to die of heatstroke. To be fair, Malaysia's weather is pretty miserable right now: 85 and ridiculously humid... and driving a F1 car isn't exactly the least fairly strenuous activity in the world.
(24:48) Why is it that every time Vitaly Petrov takes to the track, I hear the song "I'm a danger to myself and others" in my head?
(20:20) Pete Rose just successfully completed a lap without his HRT bursting into flame, shedding the majority of its bodywork, ingesting wildlife, or crashing headlong into the Pacific Ocean. WIN!
(17:14) Lettuce Grosjean is serving notice that either he's pretty darn good or the Renault Lotus is pretty darn good... or both. He's got the 5th fastest lap. Considering what he was doing the last time we saw him in F1, I'm agog.
(15:10) Ladies and Gentlemen, with Sharle ToothPic completing his first run of the day, we have now had all 24 cars turn timed laps. Tooth's time was 10.58 seconds slower than the fast lap, and 24th. Could we have a 20-car field this time around?
(11:39) I finished the novel Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter earlier tonight. Pretty okay, to be honest. I can't believe the forthcoming movie is going to be anything better than awful, though. Why no, there isn't much going on at the Sepang International Circuit, why do you ask?
(6:40) Mumbles will have to learn that he's no longer a Finnish rally car driver, otherwise he'll find that his F1 car isn't as sturdy as those vehicles very quickly.
(0:00) Not with a bang, but a whimper.
(POST-SESSION) Mark Webber is on a flyer, but he's some three seconds off the pace. Red Bull must be doing some fuel runs or tire wear experiments with him this session. He's ended up 6th, while Hamilton's fast lap held up.
So what did we learn from this? Nothing except for very broad strokes: McLaren good, HRT bad, that sort of stuff. I'll see you on Saturday for Quals unless something important occurs during P2. Thanks for reading along!
(1:30:00) ...and we're green!
(1:28:10) Back a few years ago, Lotus Caterham said that they'd be based entirely in Malaysia. Their factory was to be there, the cars would be built there, the whole lot. Wonder what happened to that plan?
(1:25:40) Interestingly enough, everybody is making for the track to turn a few laps... including the heavy-hitters. I've seen McLaren, Ferrari, Mercedes, Williams, FIndia, all on the circuit already, pretty much anybody but Red Bull and Toro Rosso. Usually the big boys wait a bit before they go out. Even stranger, Slappy Schumacher was perambulating around the course with his rainlight flashing... do they know something we don't?
(1:22:30) Speak of the debbil, here's a Toro Rosso doing a lap, and Sebby Vettel getting ready to go out.
(1:20:15) Narain Kittylitter is getting ready to try and get a few laps in for HRT before the car falls apart again. Optimistic, isn't he?
(1:16:50) I'm not saying that Paul di Resta is having problems with his Force India, but he was just passed by the Marussia of Tim O'Glockenspiel. I'm also noticing that he's not activating his DRS at all. And his rain light is flashing.
(1:13:34) It's not raining, but from the look of the skies, it will be soon enough. And Kittylitter takes the field!
(1:11:11) Oof. To whit:
For those unschooled in the fine art of FIA Graphics Packages, let me translate. In the lower left, you see two times: the current fastest lap time at that point of the lap (in this case, 1:01.348) in red, then Kittylitter's time at that same point. The HRT was over four seconds slower. I don't care that it was an installation lap, the chassis just looked slow.
(1:05:10) Felipe Massa's father was just shown on camera. He still looks like Joe Torre.
(1:03:06) Lettuce Grosjean is having problems with his Renault Lotus. How could I tell?
Please note the dial on the left-hand side of the screen. It shows that the car is going 101 kph (approx 60mph) in 7th gear, at around 6000rpm. Usually you'd be ~18000rpm and 180mph in 7th gear. That's how I could tell.
(1:03:00) Well, that and his radio call to the pits: "There's something wrong with the car."
(56:19) I wonder how it feels to be the pilot of the camera helicopter at a F1 race. You get yourself all lined up, you put on max power as the F1 car comes off the hairpin... and it leaves you behind like you were standing still. Must be kinda demoralizing.
(52:40) Looks like Vettel, Hamilton and Slappy are playing a game of "who's got the bigger one." One sets fast lap, then one of the others come along and kick it over.
(51:07) Case in point: Hamilton just kicked Vettel in the shins, taking fast lap honors by a half-second, despite smoking his tires like they had been coated in gasoline.
(49:50) Paul di Resta's thoughts: "Note to self: F1 cars drift very very poorly" Force India pit wall's thoughts: "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
(47:45) Still no zeppelin sighting. I fear the worst.
(46:49) If you had 43 minutes, 11 seconds in the HRT Breakdown Time pool, please claim your winnings at the front desk.
No word on what caused it yet, but I think "Being a HRT" is cause enough.
(42:50) @GreyDuck, that's what the practice sessions are for, to get the kinks out. Of course, sometimes that isn't entirely possible *coughHRTcough*.
(40:40) The FIA reports "no rain for the rest of the session." Teams up and down the pit lane immediately begin reaching for their umbrellas.
(37:45) I wonder if Pete Rose is regretting his decision to purchase a drive with HRT today. His mechanic: "We can lower the ride height, that should help with the grip levels. Does it feel like there's no rear grip at all?" Rose: "You can put a mechanic on the back, too." At least that's what it sounded like he said. Snark, thy name is Pedro de la Rosa.
(34:44) HWMNBN just turned in the 15th fastest lap of the day, only 1.5 seconds off the fast lap time. Which is better than his previous lap, some 10 seconds slower.
(33:20) Now I'm curious why that press photographer had a "no dogs" sticker on his very long camera lens.
(31:50) Felipe Massa has elected a Pope.
Actually, that's been happening a lot today, and not just to lesser drivers. Is it just because it's first practice? Or is there some odd conflict betwixt the tires and the Malaysian asphalt? Probably the former.
(27:35) Sergio Perez is standing in the garage, looking like he's about to die of heatstroke. To be fair, Malaysia's weather is pretty miserable right now: 85 and ridiculously humid... and driving a F1 car isn't exactly the least fairly strenuous activity in the world.
(24:48) Why is it that every time Vitaly Petrov takes to the track, I hear the song "I'm a danger to myself and others" in my head?
(20:20) Pete Rose just successfully completed a lap without his HRT bursting into flame, shedding the majority of its bodywork, ingesting wildlife, or crashing headlong into the Pacific Ocean. WIN!
(17:14) Lettuce Grosjean is serving notice that either he's pretty darn good or the Renault Lotus is pretty darn good... or both. He's got the 5th fastest lap. Considering what he was doing the last time we saw him in F1, I'm agog.
(15:10) Ladies and Gentlemen, with Sharle ToothPic completing his first run of the day, we have now had all 24 cars turn timed laps. Tooth's time was 10.58 seconds slower than the fast lap, and 24th. Could we have a 20-car field this time around?
(11:39) I finished the novel Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter earlier tonight. Pretty okay, to be honest. I can't believe the forthcoming movie is going to be anything better than awful, though. Why no, there isn't much going on at the Sepang International Circuit, why do you ask?
(6:40) Mumbles will have to learn that he's no longer a Finnish rally car driver, otherwise he'll find that his F1 car isn't as sturdy as those vehicles very quickly.
(0:00) Not with a bang, but a whimper.
(POST-SESSION) Mark Webber is on a flyer, but he's some three seconds off the pace. Red Bull must be doing some fuel runs or tire wear experiments with him this session. He's ended up 6th, while Hamilton's fast lap held up.
So what did we learn from this? Nothing except for very broad strokes: McLaren good, HRT bad, that sort of stuff. I'll see you on Saturday for Quals unless something important occurs during P2. Thanks for reading along!
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March 20, 2012
The F1U! Nicknames
Earlier tonight, I was having dinner with Ph.Duck and his new bride (for whom a duckish appellation has yet to be assigned), and while we waited for the food to be brought to the table by the fine staff of ImperialMandarinPalaceGardens (try the orange chicken, yum yum!) we discussed Formula 1. This conversation bored the newbie at the table to tears, but Ph.Duck and I gabbed away semi-obliviously. As I blathered on, after a while I noticed that he had a strange look on his face.
Vitaly "The Red Menace" Petrov: he's Russian and when he first got to F1 it was never a question of IF he'd crash, but WHEN... and how many others he'd take out with him. Believe me folks, that's about as deep as most of these get.
Michael "Slappy" Schumacher: During the 2005 Belgian Grand Prix, F1U! favorite Takuma "Suicide" Sato made one of his patented close-your-eyes-and-pray attempts at a pass. As was often the case, it didn't come off. As was also often the case, he collected another driver in the process. This time around, it was seven-time world champion Michael Schumacher, who was not exactly what you would call pleased. He got out of the wreckage of his Ferrari, stalked over to Sato (who was still sitting in his Honda), leaned over, said some words, then... slapped the young Japanese driver across the helmet. And a nickname was born. For a short time, he was also called "Parky", due to an incident at the 2006 Monaco Grand Prix, where he (ahem) accidentally blew a turn (on the narrowest part of the track) and stalled his car. Coincidentally, this was during the last moments of Quals, he was on pole, but HWMNBN (see below) was coming up fast. Stalled car = yellow flag = nobody could outqualify Schumacher.
HWMNBN: Standing for "He Who Must Not Be Named," this nickname belongs to the Spaniard who currently drives for Ferrari. We here at F1U! recognize his immense talent and ability. We also realize that he's quite possibly the largest tw*twaffle on the grid, if not all of motorsports. It all started during his year with McLaren in 2007, when Lewis Hamilton was a rookie... and was doing a pretty good job of making HWMNBN look like an amateur. So HWMNBN went to the head of McLaren and whined and moaned and demanded that he be named the #1 Driver for the team, and that Hamilton should bow and scrape to him. This was rejected. Then came the incident at Hungary. Then came Stepneygate, HWMNBN's role in which cost the team roughly $100 million. Then came Crashgate with Renault. Then there was the Ferrari Fiasco at the German Grand Prix, where Felipe Massa was ordered to let him by ("(HWMNBN) is ...faster than you. Do you understand this message?") All of this, despite his immense skill behind the wheel. Damn shame he's such an unpleasant human being.
Romain "Lettuce" Grosjean: Romaine is a type of lettuce. Romain is only one letter different. And that's how nicknames are born.
Jerome "Custard" D'Ambrosio: Though he's currently the test driver for Renault Lotus, we here at F1U! stole this nickname directly from the team he drove for in 2011, Virgin. It seems that there's a brand of custard in Britain called "Ambrosia"... and a nickname was born.
Charles "Tooth" Pic: It's pronounced "Sharles Peek." He's French. If he ever gets good, we'll take to calling him "The Hammer", in a nod to Charles Martel. We probably won't wind up calling him that. As to why he's called "Tooth"? C'mon, do we really need to explain it?
Kamui "Gandalf" Kobayashi: One race can make you in this business. For Japanese rookie Kamui Kobayashi, that race was the 2010 European Grand Prix at Valencia. For 39 laps he kept three faster, immensely more experienced, drivers behind him... as his tires became more and more lousy. The image of him in the cockpit, screaming "You shall not pass!" leaped to mind immediately. Oh, just read the link... it's funnier there.
Jean-Eric "Jules" Vergne: Literary allusions FTW!
Timo "Tim O'Glockenspiel" Glock: THREE different nicknames in one! Originally, he was Timo Glock, son of famed weaponsmaker Mr Colt. Then came "Glockenspiel," because it's obvious and we here at F1U! embrace the easy whenever possible. Then came the Top Gear episode where the guys went to Monaco on race weekend and got to drive the track... okay, yes, it was in hatchbacks, but still, how cool is that? Anyway, Hamster and Captain Slow spoke to a very nice F1 driver named "Tim O'Glock." Combine the two, and voila.
Pastor "XXXX" Maldonado: Not so much of a nickname as a running gag. For most, if not all, of last year, in the interest of religious equality and the desire for an all-inclusive blog, I changed the name "Pastor". One week it may have been "Imam," the next "Rabbi," then "Predicant", then "Bishop," then... every session it changed to a different religious title. Nobody mentioned it. We were bummed.
"Grizzly" Nick Heidfeld: Many years ago, Nick Heidfeld was clean shaven. Then he grew a beard. It was ugly. The end.
Heikki Kovalainen: He's usually called "Kovalinninninnie" here on F1U! Do you have any idea how hard it is to spell "Kovalainen"? We had to look it up. If we're lucky, we even got it right.
Narain "Kittylitter" Karthekeyan: Almost as hard to spell as Kovalainen. Fortunately, the first Indian driver in F1 history tended to put his car in the graveltraps with startling regularity back in the day. Has actually been fairly successful in every format he's driven in... except F1.
Kimi "Mumbles" Raikkonen: It is not uncommon for foreign speakers of English to have problems with inflection, putting emphasis on the wrong syllables of a word, that sort of thing. Kimi ignores such things by not putting any emphasis on any word at any time.
Zsolt Baumgartner: That's his real name. Seriously.
I'm sure I'm missing a good gazillion others, but that should be enough to get people up to speed for the season... if not, let us know so we can point and laugh at you! clarify matters.
Kinda like that, yeah.
After inquiring politely if he had gas, he explained that he didn't understand one of the nicknames I had just used. As I tried to define just why that particular nickname was stuck on that particular driver, I realized that it's been a long time since I've defined the nicknames used in the F1 Update! features here on The Pond. So let's get cracking!Vitaly "The Red Menace" Petrov: he's Russian and when he first got to F1 it was never a question of IF he'd crash, but WHEN... and how many others he'd take out with him. Believe me folks, that's about as deep as most of these get.
Michael "Slappy" Schumacher: During the 2005 Belgian Grand Prix, F1U! favorite Takuma "Suicide" Sato made one of his patented close-your-eyes-and-pray attempts at a pass. As was often the case, it didn't come off. As was also often the case, he collected another driver in the process. This time around, it was seven-time world champion Michael Schumacher, who was not exactly what you would call pleased. He got out of the wreckage of his Ferrari, stalked over to Sato (who was still sitting in his Honda), leaned over, said some words, then... slapped the young Japanese driver across the helmet. And a nickname was born. For a short time, he was also called "Parky", due to an incident at the 2006 Monaco Grand Prix, where he (ahem) accidentally blew a turn (on the narrowest part of the track) and stalled his car. Coincidentally, this was during the last moments of Quals, he was on pole, but HWMNBN (see below) was coming up fast. Stalled car = yellow flag = nobody could outqualify Schumacher.
HWMNBN: Standing for "He Who Must Not Be Named," this nickname belongs to the Spaniard who currently drives for Ferrari. We here at F1U! recognize his immense talent and ability. We also realize that he's quite possibly the largest tw*twaffle on the grid, if not all of motorsports. It all started during his year with McLaren in 2007, when Lewis Hamilton was a rookie... and was doing a pretty good job of making HWMNBN look like an amateur. So HWMNBN went to the head of McLaren and whined and moaned and demanded that he be named the #1 Driver for the team, and that Hamilton should bow and scrape to him. This was rejected. Then came the incident at Hungary. Then came Stepneygate, HWMNBN's role in which cost the team roughly $100 million. Then came Crashgate with Renault. Then there was the Ferrari Fiasco at the German Grand Prix, where Felipe Massa was ordered to let him by ("(HWMNBN) is ...faster than you. Do you understand this message?") All of this, despite his immense skill behind the wheel. Damn shame he's such an unpleasant human being.
Romain "Lettuce" Grosjean: Romaine is a type of lettuce. Romain is only one letter different. And that's how nicknames are born.
Jerome "Custard" D'Ambrosio: Though he's currently the test driver for Renault Lotus, we here at F1U! stole this nickname directly from the team he drove for in 2011, Virgin. It seems that there's a brand of custard in Britain called "Ambrosia"... and a nickname was born.
Charles "Tooth" Pic: It's pronounced "Sharles Peek." He's French. If he ever gets good, we'll take to calling him "The Hammer", in a nod to Charles Martel. We probably won't wind up calling him that. As to why he's called "Tooth"? C'mon, do we really need to explain it?
Kamui "Gandalf" Kobayashi: One race can make you in this business. For Japanese rookie Kamui Kobayashi, that race was the 2010 European Grand Prix at Valencia. For 39 laps he kept three faster, immensely more experienced, drivers behind him... as his tires became more and more lousy. The image of him in the cockpit, screaming "You shall not pass!" leaped to mind immediately. Oh, just read the link... it's funnier there.
Jean-Eric "Jules" Vergne: Literary allusions FTW!
Timo "Tim O'Glockenspiel" Glock: THREE different nicknames in one! Originally, he was Timo Glock, son of famed weaponsmaker Mr Colt. Then came "Glockenspiel," because it's obvious and we here at F1U! embrace the easy whenever possible. Then came the Top Gear episode where the guys went to Monaco on race weekend and got to drive the track... okay, yes, it was in hatchbacks, but still, how cool is that? Anyway, Hamster and Captain Slow spoke to a very nice F1 driver named "Tim O'Glock." Combine the two, and voila.
Pastor "XXXX" Maldonado: Not so much of a nickname as a running gag. For most, if not all, of last year, in the interest of religious equality and the desire for an all-inclusive blog, I changed the name "Pastor". One week it may have been "Imam," the next "Rabbi," then "Predicant", then "Bishop," then... every session it changed to a different religious title. Nobody mentioned it. We were bummed.
"Grizzly" Nick Heidfeld: Many years ago, Nick Heidfeld was clean shaven. Then he grew a beard. It was ugly. The end.
Heikki Kovalainen: He's usually called "Kovalinninninnie" here on F1U! Do you have any idea how hard it is to spell "Kovalainen"? We had to look it up. If we're lucky, we even got it right.
Narain "Kittylitter" Karthekeyan: Almost as hard to spell as Kovalainen. Fortunately, the first Indian driver in F1 history tended to put his car in the graveltraps with startling regularity back in the day. Has actually been fairly successful in every format he's driven in... except F1.
Kimi "Mumbles" Raikkonen: It is not uncommon for foreign speakers of English to have problems with inflection, putting emphasis on the wrong syllables of a word, that sort of thing. Kimi ignores such things by not putting any emphasis on any word at any time.
Zsolt Baumgartner: That's his real name. Seriously.
I'm sure I'm missing a good gazillion others, but that should be enough to get people up to speed for the season... if not, let us know so we can point and laugh at you! clarify matters.
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March 19, 2012
F1 On SPEED!: Malaysia 2012
After a long long offseason, we find ourselves blessed with back-to-back races! After the... shall we say eccentric Melbourne circuit, the F1 Circus packs up the tents and takes an eight-hour flight to Kuala Lumpur, home of the Sepang International Circuit and the Grand Prix of Malaysia. Let's take a look at the track map:
It takes not much of a look to realize that it's our first Hermann Tilke design of the season. The two loooooonnnng straightaways are clever, I suppose, but that's about the only nice bit around the circuit... though under duress I will admit to a fondness of the Turn 1/2 complex, what with its downhill, off-camber profile and all. There's something sickly amusing about seeing cars worth untold millions of dollars descending and twisting with one tire off the ground, which has got to do bad things to a car's mechanical grip.
Which is important to have when the aerodynamics are compromised, which appears to be on tap for this race. And I use "tap" the way you would with a sink... yep, we're scheduled for rain for all three days. And not just "rain", but "big sloppy buckets o' rain with enough lightning to impress Pink Floyd's lighting designer." And rain makes EVERY race better! Which would be nice, because the last two have been, to be blunt, dogs, and the best part of the 2009 race was that it was red-flagged and never resumed.
Fortunately for us, the good juruhebah of the Legendary Announce Team will have their Mae Wests handy as they bring us their usual spiffy coverage of all the action. Here's the lineup:
Thursday 9p - 1030p, P1 streaming
Friday 1a - 240a, P2 live
9p - 10p, P3 streaming
Saturday 3a - 430a, Quals plausibly live
Sunday 230a - 5a, Grand Prix of Malaysia live
As is usual for this time of year, this weekend is my fantasy baseball league's annual player auction, which is scheduled for Saturday morning. The Quals report will be delayed until after that, the Practice report may never occur as I do research, and even the F1U! is in danger of being shuffled around as I may have something going on that day as well. Depending on what The Librarian and I are doing, I might do a liveblog of P1.
I've been in this particular fantasy baseball league since 1987... yes, there are upperclassmen at Duck U that are younger than my fantasy team. As much as I love F1, baseball is life.
It takes not much of a look to realize that it's our first Hermann Tilke design of the season. The two loooooonnnng straightaways are clever, I suppose, but that's about the only nice bit around the circuit... though under duress I will admit to a fondness of the Turn 1/2 complex, what with its downhill, off-camber profile and all. There's something sickly amusing about seeing cars worth untold millions of dollars descending and twisting with one tire off the ground, which has got to do bad things to a car's mechanical grip.
Which is important to have when the aerodynamics are compromised, which appears to be on tap for this race. And I use "tap" the way you would with a sink... yep, we're scheduled for rain for all three days. And not just "rain", but "big sloppy buckets o' rain with enough lightning to impress Pink Floyd's lighting designer." And rain makes EVERY race better! Which would be nice, because the last two have been, to be blunt, dogs, and the best part of the 2009 race was that it was red-flagged and never resumed.
Fortunately for us, the good juruhebah of the Legendary Announce Team will have their Mae Wests handy as they bring us their usual spiffy coverage of all the action. Here's the lineup:
Thursday 9p - 1030p, P1 streaming
Friday 1a - 240a, P2 live
9p - 10p, P3 streaming
Saturday 3a - 430a, Quals plausibly live
Sunday 230a - 5a, Grand Prix of Malaysia live
As is usual for this time of year, this weekend is my fantasy baseball league's annual player auction, which is scheduled for Saturday morning. The Quals report will be delayed until after that, the Practice report may never occur as I do research, and even the F1U! is in danger of being shuffled around as I may have something going on that day as well. Depending on what The Librarian and I are doing, I might do a liveblog of P1.
I've been in this particular fantasy baseball league since 1987... yes, there are upperclassmen at Duck U that are younger than my fantasy team. As much as I love F1, baseball is life.
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March 17, 2012
F1 Quals: Australia 2012
September 13th, 2009. In most ways, it was just another day in just another year, no big deal. Except that day was the Italian Grand Prix at Monza. Lewis Hamilton was on pole with Adrian Sutil next to him, odd enough on its own as that was the last time a Force India has gotten so high on the grid. It was also the last time we had a F1 race start without a Red Bull qualifying on the front row. The three practice sessions we've had so far has made the RB8 look... mortal. But that's practice; now is the time for Quals, when the gloves really come off and the haymakers begin to be thrown. Let's take a look at the provisional grid for the 2012 Grand Prix of Australia:
Oh, the difference a few months and one change to the technical regulations make. The RB8 is no RB7, that much is clear. What also appears to be clear is that no car leaned more heavily on the now-banned blown diffuser technology than that same RB7. Last year, it was common to see Seb Vettel on pole, and his teammate Mark Webber right alongside. Things have... changed. They've locked out the third row, which is hardly bad... it's just not what the Red Bullies have come to be used to.
But some things don't change, either. McLaren now perches on the front row, with Hamilton the only driver to get into the 1:24s. The session's biggest surprise is the man that sits third on the grid, Lotus's Lettuce Grosjean. The last time we saw him, he was stinkin' up the place in a Renault (now Lotus) in 2009. He won GP2 last year, so it's safe to say that he's gotten better... and so, it appears, has the car, at least potentially. Lettuce lines up next to Slappy Schumacher, who for most of the session held my bowels in an icy grip. The Silver Arrows of Mercedes are showing every sign of being legit competitors this season, and through Q1 and Q2 they were hanging out in the top few slots. It didn't come together for them in Q3 though, not that fourth is bad. I'm sure Rosberg is less than thrilled with his seventh. Eighth, ninth and tenth are held by a Williams(!), a Force India and a Toro Rosso, all of which is wonderful news that indicates a potential shakeup in the midpack.
The sharper-eyed of my readers may have noticed a lack of Ferrari so far in this Qualifying report. That's because the F2012 is proving to be a twitchy, snarling, uncooperative beast of a chassis with all the manners of a starving pitbull presented with a table full of porterhouses. Felipe Massa had to get onto soft tires just to make it out of Q1, and couldn't do any better than 16th and elimination in Q2. HWMNBN, on the other hand, had set a halfway acceptable lap in Q2 before he tried to apply the brakes with his left-side tires on the grass. The result was a snap spin and a sudden burial in the kittylitter. Despite this, his time was very nearly good enough to get him through to Q3, only being bumped to 12th in the final few seconds.
The other man missing from the report so far is Mumbles Raikkonen. In his first race back in F1, he could only manage a distant 18th. Still, the blame is not his alone. The team kept him on the hard tires for the entirety of Q1 while everybody around him had gone to the softs. Then, on his final flying lap, which was looking like it'd be good enough to get him into Q2, he made a mistake that put his entire car over the curb and required some quick steering action to keep him out of the wall and allow the Renault Lotus mechanics to keep their dinner reservations. On the other hand, he's probably the only driver on the grid with a full allotment of unused soft tires. We know the car can be quick (see Grosjean, Lettuce). We also know that nobody on the grid right now is as cold-blooded as Mumbles. Let's see if the combination of fast car, driving skill, and an extra set of soft tires will bring us another of his patented 18th-to-3rd races tomorrow.
Now for the bad stuff. For the second year in a row, both HRTs failed to meet the 107% qualifying requirement, and now have to plead their case to the stewards to be allowed to race. This is unlikely to be granted as they've not even come close to being on race pace this weekend. Unsurprising, really, considering the offseason they've had. When Colin Kolles left the team, it turns out he not only took his designs with him, he also took all the machinery used to make a F1 car with him as well. Seeing that he owned it all, that's only correct, but it did leave HRT in something of a bind. Not only did they have to design a car from scratch, but then they ALSO had to get the equipment needed to actually manufacture the parts for the chassis. No wonder they failed their crash tests. P1 was the first time they had actually gotten the chance to run the car!
Also, Kittylitter, Daniel Ricciardo and Pete Rose are all under investigation for impeding the progress of other drivers in Q1, and rumors up and down the pitlane are saying that Ferrari and Renault Lotus are going to protest the Mercedes "f-duct" rear wing. More on those stories if they happen.
We've got a good one shaping up here, folks... See you post-race for F1Update!
Oh, the difference a few months and one change to the technical regulations make. The RB8 is no RB7, that much is clear. What also appears to be clear is that no car leaned more heavily on the now-banned blown diffuser technology than that same RB7. Last year, it was common to see Seb Vettel on pole, and his teammate Mark Webber right alongside. Things have... changed. They've locked out the third row, which is hardly bad... it's just not what the Red Bullies have come to be used to.
But some things don't change, either. McLaren now perches on the front row, with Hamilton the only driver to get into the 1:24s. The session's biggest surprise is the man that sits third on the grid, Lotus's Lettuce Grosjean. The last time we saw him, he was stinkin' up the place in a Renault (now Lotus) in 2009. He won GP2 last year, so it's safe to say that he's gotten better... and so, it appears, has the car, at least potentially. Lettuce lines up next to Slappy Schumacher, who for most of the session held my bowels in an icy grip. The Silver Arrows of Mercedes are showing every sign of being legit competitors this season, and through Q1 and Q2 they were hanging out in the top few slots. It didn't come together for them in Q3 though, not that fourth is bad. I'm sure Rosberg is less than thrilled with his seventh. Eighth, ninth and tenth are held by a Williams(!), a Force India and a Toro Rosso, all of which is wonderful news that indicates a potential shakeup in the midpack.
The sharper-eyed of my readers may have noticed a lack of Ferrari so far in this Qualifying report. That's because the F2012 is proving to be a twitchy, snarling, uncooperative beast of a chassis with all the manners of a starving pitbull presented with a table full of porterhouses. Felipe Massa had to get onto soft tires just to make it out of Q1, and couldn't do any better than 16th and elimination in Q2. HWMNBN, on the other hand, had set a halfway acceptable lap in Q2 before he tried to apply the brakes with his left-side tires on the grass. The result was a snap spin and a sudden burial in the kittylitter. Despite this, his time was very nearly good enough to get him through to Q3, only being bumped to 12th in the final few seconds.
The other man missing from the report so far is Mumbles Raikkonen. In his first race back in F1, he could only manage a distant 18th. Still, the blame is not his alone. The team kept him on the hard tires for the entirety of Q1 while everybody around him had gone to the softs. Then, on his final flying lap, which was looking like it'd be good enough to get him into Q2, he made a mistake that put his entire car over the curb and required some quick steering action to keep him out of the wall and allow the Renault Lotus mechanics to keep their dinner reservations. On the other hand, he's probably the only driver on the grid with a full allotment of unused soft tires. We know the car can be quick (see Grosjean, Lettuce). We also know that nobody on the grid right now is as cold-blooded as Mumbles. Let's see if the combination of fast car, driving skill, and an extra set of soft tires will bring us another of his patented 18th-to-3rd races tomorrow.
Now for the bad stuff. For the second year in a row, both HRTs failed to meet the 107% qualifying requirement, and now have to plead their case to the stewards to be allowed to race. This is unlikely to be granted as they've not even come close to being on race pace this weekend. Unsurprising, really, considering the offseason they've had. When Colin Kolles left the team, it turns out he not only took his designs with him, he also took all the machinery used to make a F1 car with him as well. Seeing that he owned it all, that's only correct, but it did leave HRT in something of a bind. Not only did they have to design a car from scratch, but then they ALSO had to get the equipment needed to actually manufacture the parts for the chassis. No wonder they failed their crash tests. P1 was the first time they had actually gotten the chance to run the car!
Also, Kittylitter, Daniel Ricciardo and Pete Rose are all under investigation for impeding the progress of other drivers in Q1, and rumors up and down the pitlane are saying that Ferrari and Renault Lotus are going to protest the Mercedes "f-duct" rear wing. More on those stories if they happen.
We've got a good one shaping up here, folks... See you post-race for F1Update!
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March 15, 2012
F1 Australia Practice 1 Liveblog!
(PRE-SESSION) Well, here we go, the season starts in earnest! If you want to watch what I'm talking about tonight as it goes down, just follow this link. It all should start at 830p Central Pond Time. I say "should" because there were technical difficulties the last time I tried this. There's a threat of rain during the Friday sessions down under, which is exactly what we don't want. Rain is fun during Quals and the race itself, but during first practice? It'll just make the teams keep their cars in the garage... because if you think about it, all you'll learn from running in the rain is how many pieces you can break your car into when you... say it with me... stick it in the wall, upside down and on fire. As with the past liveblogging events, I'll be using the time remaining in the session as a reference. If you see 1:15:00, that means there's 75 minutes left in the 90 minute session. So settle into your seat, get the vegemite and koalaburgers handy, and let's get ready for the F1 season.
(1:30:00) Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a F1 season! And the track is damp!
(1:25:00) Ferrari is first out on the circuit.
(1:23:00) We have our first off of the season!
Nico Rosberg, take your prize!
(1:19:36) Slappy is on the course, but he's tiptoeing around the track. Of course, that makes sense... wet surface, new car, yadda yadda. If there's one person here, though, that should know this place, it's him.
(1:17:20) Melbourne goes silent. This might be a good time to mention that we've got an US person back driving in the sport, at least theoretically. American Alexander Rossi has signed with Lotus Caterham to be their third driver. It's bad sport of me to hope that The Red Menace slips on some ice and breaks his leg, I know, but...
(1:14:34) Zeppelin!
(1:11:30) We have a Toro Rosso sighting. We now return you to our usual programming. ZEPPELIN!
(1:10:18) Daniel Ricciardo in the Toro Rosso was... I dunno, he couldn't drive a straight line down the front straight. I dunno if he was trying to get some heat in the tires, or if the car was just snaking on him. Looked weird as heck, like his front alignment was off.
(1:07:38) And the world champion takes the field. Just found another thing I don't like about the platypus... because the nose has that ridiculous dropoff, you actually can't see the front of the nose at all.
Which makes telling the difference between the Toro Rosso and Red Bull cars awfully hard from the T-bar camera (TR has a gold nose, RB a yellow one, btw).
(1:02:32) HWMNBN rips off the first legit flying lap of the season, taking two seconds off the best time so far.
(59:05) And we have our first yellow flag of the season!
Courtesy of HRT and Narain Kittylitter! "The engine, it just shut down on its own." "Okay, park it so we can come get you Narain." Good to see they're in midseason form already.
(54:56) Y'know, I dunno if they'll win anything this season, but the Mercedes is awful purty. Looks and a good haircut can get you a long way in this world. Just ask Sergio Perez.
(51:34) Or Nico Rosberg.
(48:07) HWMNBN is looking awfully racey today. Wonder what's gotten into him? He isn't known for blowing people's doors off during practice sessions... Oy! Lost my entire broadband connection for a few minutes there.
(41:44) Starting to see some rubber buildup in a few places. Pirelli said they were going to be bringing the pain this season as far as tire degradation goes, but that's ridiculous.
(39:17) Nobody on track, so the FIA cameras are gathering "B-roll" footage.
Yeah, well, we don't think you're exciting either, lady.
(33:35) Gandalf and Shadowfax just took FIVE SECONDS off the fastest lap.
I think I know who's on dry soft tires...
(31:12) Mark Webber is now second... some three and a half seconds behind Gandalf. Shadowfax must be feelin' his oats today.
(28:15) Well, that didn't take long. Webbo just bumped Gandalf by some small fraction of a second. Ces't la Grand Prix.
(25:09) I just realized... other than a few shots of Button and Hamilton in the garage, we haven't seen the McLarens at all. That can't be good at all.
(23:44) Nico Rosberg must not have liked the joke... he's just taken fastest lap.
(21:26) This is my worst nightmare. SLAPPY has fast lap now. Good lord, what will I do if he wins a race this season???
(19:37) Hey look! It's a McLaren! Oh. It's just Lewis turning an installation lap. Or he's been given a drive-through penalty, one of the two. Chances are about even either way.
(17:09) Button turns an installation lap, bringing us this pointless but incredibly cool camera shot:
(14:39) Massa beaches it!
Taken off by the crane, session over for him. He said it "went light and just snapped sideways."
(9:23) Yeah, that sitting in the garage was a real problem, good call Wonderduck:
Please note that Button's got fast lap, but Hamilton is third. Sure, "that can't be good." If anybody with some talent would like to take over the F1U! duties, please contact me.
(6:30) Sergio Perez might have to change his firesuit after the sideways moment he just had... looked like he was drifting, except with a lot less control. Yeesh.
(5:11) Mumbles Raikkonen has taken to the track for the first time in three years! And maybe it's showing: he's 20th. Still too early to tell, though... maybe it's the car, maybe he wasn't pushing particularly hard.
(2:30) Seb Vettel just got borked on a flying lap. Or he's having a bad day. Or both.
(0:00) Button on top, followed by Hamilton, Slappy, HWMNBN, and Webbo'. The last three are still on track.
(Post-0:00) HWMNBN, there's a change of firesuits waiting for you, too. Coming off the last turn, he wound up fishtailing and nearly sideways for a hundred yards or so. The top five stay in their positions.
So what have we learned today? Well, that the McLarens are fairly quick, the Red Bulls have got to be sandbagging, and Wonderduck knows absolutely zero about F1. But boy is it good to have it back! See you for Quals, I'm thinking!
(1:30:00) Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a F1 season! And the track is damp!
(1:25:00) Ferrari is first out on the circuit.
(1:23:00) We have our first off of the season!
Nico Rosberg, take your prize!
(1:19:36) Slappy is on the course, but he's tiptoeing around the track. Of course, that makes sense... wet surface, new car, yadda yadda. If there's one person here, though, that should know this place, it's him.
(1:17:20) Melbourne goes silent. This might be a good time to mention that we've got an US person back driving in the sport, at least theoretically. American Alexander Rossi has signed with Lotus Caterham to be their third driver. It's bad sport of me to hope that The Red Menace slips on some ice and breaks his leg, I know, but...
(1:14:34) Zeppelin!
(1:11:30) We have a Toro Rosso sighting. We now return you to our usual programming. ZEPPELIN!
(1:10:18) Daniel Ricciardo in the Toro Rosso was... I dunno, he couldn't drive a straight line down the front straight. I dunno if he was trying to get some heat in the tires, or if the car was just snaking on him. Looked weird as heck, like his front alignment was off.
(1:07:38) And the world champion takes the field. Just found another thing I don't like about the platypus... because the nose has that ridiculous dropoff, you actually can't see the front of the nose at all.
Which makes telling the difference between the Toro Rosso and Red Bull cars awfully hard from the T-bar camera (TR has a gold nose, RB a yellow one, btw).
(1:02:32) HWMNBN rips off the first legit flying lap of the season, taking two seconds off the best time so far.
(59:05) And we have our first yellow flag of the season!
Courtesy of HRT and Narain Kittylitter! "The engine, it just shut down on its own." "Okay, park it so we can come get you Narain." Good to see they're in midseason form already.
(54:56) Y'know, I dunno if they'll win anything this season, but the Mercedes is awful purty. Looks and a good haircut can get you a long way in this world. Just ask Sergio Perez.
(51:34) Or Nico Rosberg.
(48:07) HWMNBN is looking awfully racey today. Wonder what's gotten into him? He isn't known for blowing people's doors off during practice sessions... Oy! Lost my entire broadband connection for a few minutes there.
(41:44) Starting to see some rubber buildup in a few places. Pirelli said they were going to be bringing the pain this season as far as tire degradation goes, but that's ridiculous.
(39:17) Nobody on track, so the FIA cameras are gathering "B-roll" footage.
Yeah, well, we don't think you're exciting either, lady.
(33:35) Gandalf and Shadowfax just took FIVE SECONDS off the fastest lap.
I think I know who's on dry soft tires...
(31:12) Mark Webber is now second... some three and a half seconds behind Gandalf. Shadowfax must be feelin' his oats today.
(28:15) Well, that didn't take long. Webbo just bumped Gandalf by some small fraction of a second. Ces't la Grand Prix.
(25:09) I just realized... other than a few shots of Button and Hamilton in the garage, we haven't seen the McLarens at all. That can't be good at all.
(23:44) Nico Rosberg must not have liked the joke... he's just taken fastest lap.
(21:26) This is my worst nightmare. SLAPPY has fast lap now. Good lord, what will I do if he wins a race this season???
(19:37) Hey look! It's a McLaren! Oh. It's just Lewis turning an installation lap. Or he's been given a drive-through penalty, one of the two. Chances are about even either way.
(17:09) Button turns an installation lap, bringing us this pointless but incredibly cool camera shot:
(14:39) Massa beaches it!
Taken off by the crane, session over for him. He said it "went light and just snapped sideways."
(9:23) Yeah, that sitting in the garage was a real problem, good call Wonderduck:
Please note that Button's got fast lap, but Hamilton is third. Sure, "that can't be good." If anybody with some talent would like to take over the F1U! duties, please contact me.
(6:30) Sergio Perez might have to change his firesuit after the sideways moment he just had... looked like he was drifting, except with a lot less control. Yeesh.
(5:11) Mumbles Raikkonen has taken to the track for the first time in three years! And maybe it's showing: he's 20th. Still too early to tell, though... maybe it's the car, maybe he wasn't pushing particularly hard.
(2:30) Seb Vettel just got borked on a flying lap. Or he's having a bad day. Or both.
(0:00) Button on top, followed by Hamilton, Slappy, HWMNBN, and Webbo'. The last three are still on track.
(Post-0:00) HWMNBN, there's a change of firesuits waiting for you, too. Coming off the last turn, he wound up fishtailing and nearly sideways for a hundred yards or so. The top five stay in their positions.
So what have we learned today? Well, that the McLarens are fairly quick, the Red Bulls have got to be sandbagging, and Wonderduck knows absolutely zero about F1. But boy is it good to have it back! See you for Quals, I'm thinking!
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March 12, 2012
F1 On SPEED!: Australia 2012
It's been a long time since we last met back in November of 2011. We were in Brazil back then, watching Seb Vettel take home his second consecutive Driver's Championship at the end of long and, let's face it, kinda dull season. However, Formula 1, being what it is, always begins anew. You know that things are starting up again when the teams drag themselves into Melbourne, their cars crated and palletized.
And such it is today as the 2012 season cranks into life! It's back, baby! Let's take a look at the trackmap for the traditional first race on the calendar, the Australian Grand Prix!
There's not a lot that I can say about the Melbourne circuit that I've not mentioned in the past. While it's technically a street circuit, being run on the public roads and parking lots that go through Albert Park just south of the center of the city, it races much more like a standard road circuit. Or, to put it another way, it's less like Singapore and more like Silverstone. This is a good thing. Drivers universally praise the circuit, believing it to be easy to get used to, but not so easy as to be boring. There's a distinct sense of "going someplace" when you race in Melbourne, courtesy of the splendid scenery provided by... well, Albert Park isn't called a "park" because you leave your car there while you go to work.
Other than the usual bits about the circuit having not so much runoff area, fencing ridiculously near the track, and lots of painted lines on the racing surface that can play hob with grip, the big news for this year is that there'll be two DRS zones, as opposed to the last year's one. Undoubtedly one will be on the front straight. The location of the second is anybody's guess... I'm thinking the run from Turn 2 to Turn 3. There really isn't any other place for it, unless you put it on the "straight" from Turn 10 to 11, which is actually a curve that needs the traction provided by the rear wing. Then again, nothing like multi-million dollar cars careening through a catchfence and ending up in the lake to make the race go away, am I right?
It's all moot for this year, however... there WILL be a race, and the good cobbers at SPEED will be bringing us all the coverage with their usual aplomb and bonhomie. Here's the schedule, which begins on Thursday:
Thursday: 830p - 10p P1 streaming
Friday: 1230a - 210a P2 live
10p - 11p P3 streaming
Saturday: 1a - 230a Quals plausibly live
Sunday: 1230a - 3a Grand Prix of Australia live
1p - 330p GP of Australia replay
Now for a bit of Wonderduck scheduling. There's pretty much no way I'll be able to provide coverage of P2, as there's an event at Duck U Friday night. I'll be there from 815a to approximately 10p, give or take a half hour. By the time I get back to Pond Central, it'll be 1030p and I'll be staring Quals dead in the face. The good news is that I'll be trying to liveblog P1 right here at The Pond... nothing like starting the season off right, right?
F1's back, folks... let's see if we can't make it a good'un... and yes, I said "we." I welcome, nay, nigh on require, all your questions and comments, educated or neophyte. It makes it a lot easier if y'all participate! Fair dinkum? Fosters for everybody and I'll throw a few pounds of prawns on the barbie... mind the wallabies and the sugar gliders!
And such it is today as the 2012 season cranks into life! It's back, baby! Let's take a look at the trackmap for the traditional first race on the calendar, the Australian Grand Prix!
There's not a lot that I can say about the Melbourne circuit that I've not mentioned in the past. While it's technically a street circuit, being run on the public roads and parking lots that go through Albert Park just south of the center of the city, it races much more like a standard road circuit. Or, to put it another way, it's less like Singapore and more like Silverstone. This is a good thing. Drivers universally praise the circuit, believing it to be easy to get used to, but not so easy as to be boring. There's a distinct sense of "going someplace" when you race in Melbourne, courtesy of the splendid scenery provided by... well, Albert Park isn't called a "park" because you leave your car there while you go to work.
Turn 8 from the golf course.
Unfortunately, there's a vocal (and loudly so) group of politicians and residents that want Melbourne to dump the race altogether. Too loud, too eco-unfriendly, too expensive, you name it, they've yodeled about it. Bernie "The Troll" Ecclestone, with his wonderful sense of history and style, agrees with them and thinks the race should go away. We should enjoy this wonderful spectacle while we can, methinks.Other than the usual bits about the circuit having not so much runoff area, fencing ridiculously near the track, and lots of painted lines on the racing surface that can play hob with grip, the big news for this year is that there'll be two DRS zones, as opposed to the last year's one. Undoubtedly one will be on the front straight. The location of the second is anybody's guess... I'm thinking the run from Turn 2 to Turn 3. There really isn't any other place for it, unless you put it on the "straight" from Turn 10 to 11, which is actually a curve that needs the traction provided by the rear wing. Then again, nothing like multi-million dollar cars careening through a catchfence and ending up in the lake to make the race go away, am I right?
It's all moot for this year, however... there WILL be a race, and the good cobbers at SPEED will be bringing us all the coverage with their usual aplomb and bonhomie. Here's the schedule, which begins on Thursday:
Thursday: 830p - 10p P1 streaming
Friday: 1230a - 210a P2 live
10p - 11p P3 streaming
Saturday: 1a - 230a Quals plausibly live
Sunday: 1230a - 3a Grand Prix of Australia live
1p - 330p GP of Australia replay
Now for a bit of Wonderduck scheduling. There's pretty much no way I'll be able to provide coverage of P2, as there's an event at Duck U Friday night. I'll be there from 815a to approximately 10p, give or take a half hour. By the time I get back to Pond Central, it'll be 1030p and I'll be staring Quals dead in the face. The good news is that I'll be trying to liveblog P1 right here at The Pond... nothing like starting the season off right, right?
F1's back, folks... let's see if we can't make it a good'un... and yes, I said "we." I welcome, nay, nigh on require, all your questions and comments, educated or neophyte. It makes it a lot easier if y'all participate! Fair dinkum? Fosters for everybody and I'll throw a few pounds of prawns on the barbie... mind the wallabies and the sugar gliders!
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February 27, 2012
That Was The Weirdest Thing I've Ever Seen On A Racetrack
On Lap 157 of tonight's Daytona 500, David Stremme blew an engine, bringing out the yellow flag. Debris from the engine covered the track near the entry to Turn 3, and a "JetDry" truck was called out to blow the garbage out of the turn. A JetDry truck is a pickup truck towing a helicopter jet engine behind it. It's usually used to, well, dry the asphalt after it rains. It carries around 200 gallons of jet fuel.
On Lap 160, still under the yellow flag, former F1 driver Juan Pablo (aka The Pope) Montoya came off of pit lane and brought himself up to speed to catch up with the rest of the field. As he approached Turn 3, something visibly broke on his car. Sparks spilled out from underneath, he got sideways, and he skidded directly into the back and side of the JetDry truck.
There was a sudden fireball, presumably from the #42 car as it had its front end completely destroyed, and both vehicles came to a halt. The JetDry truck was at the top of the banking, Montoya's car was burning merrily in the infield. Montoya quickly got out of his car and walked away. Meanwhile, a track worker ran up the banking to help the driver of the truck... and then we noticed the liquid pouring out the back of the truck. The track worker got the driver out of the truck, and they walked away from the truck. Then the inevitable occurred.
200 gallons of jet fuel and an oversized tank of diesel went up. The fire stretched all the way down the 31° banking. The emergency crews began to use fire extinguishers to try and contain the blaze, but they sure didn't do much. The explosion that followed threw up a fireball that was dramatic but pretty localized. Then the heavy equipment showed up, both on the infield and outside the catch fence.
That finally got the fire under control and extinguished. Montoya has been checked at the infield care center and released. The driver of the truck is at the local hospital for observation, but he's resting comfortably and is reportedly okay. Probably needs to change his shorts, though. There appears to be some damage to the asphalt on the circuit, but NASCAR is saying they'll be restarting the race eventually. As is, the 500 has been under a red flag for an hour or so as they try to get everything cleared up. A video can be seen here.
On Lap 160, still under the yellow flag, former F1 driver Juan Pablo (aka The Pope) Montoya came off of pit lane and brought himself up to speed to catch up with the rest of the field. As he approached Turn 3, something visibly broke on his car. Sparks spilled out from underneath, he got sideways, and he skidded directly into the back and side of the JetDry truck.
There was a sudden fireball, presumably from the #42 car as it had its front end completely destroyed, and both vehicles came to a halt. The JetDry truck was at the top of the banking, Montoya's car was burning merrily in the infield. Montoya quickly got out of his car and walked away. Meanwhile, a track worker ran up the banking to help the driver of the truck... and then we noticed the liquid pouring out the back of the truck. The track worker got the driver out of the truck, and they walked away from the truck. Then the inevitable occurred.
200 gallons of jet fuel and an oversized tank of diesel went up. The fire stretched all the way down the 31° banking. The emergency crews began to use fire extinguishers to try and contain the blaze, but they sure didn't do much. The explosion that followed threw up a fireball that was dramatic but pretty localized. Then the heavy equipment showed up, both on the infield and outside the catch fence.
That finally got the fire under control and extinguished. Montoya has been checked at the infield care center and released. The driver of the truck is at the local hospital for observation, but he's resting comfortably and is reportedly okay. Probably needs to change his shorts, though. There appears to be some damage to the asphalt on the circuit, but NASCAR is saying they'll be restarting the race eventually. As is, the 500 has been under a red flag for an hour or so as they try to get everything cleared up. A video can be seen here.
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December 29, 2011
F1 2012 Silly Season (ALMOST) Over!
It's been a while since I paid much attention to goings-on in the Formula 1 world, I know. While I was having lunch with Ph.Duck today, he asked me to give him an update on the news of the Grand Circus... and I couldn't do it! I've really kinda stopped reading up on F1 over the past month. But no more! Let's get caught up on the hithering and yonning of that form of motorsport that we love so much!
The biggest news is that the Silly Season is almost over! 22 of the 24 seats for the 2012 F1 season have been filled. Only two teams still have open seats. Shall we take a look at the driver lineup as we know it?
Unsurprisingly, some teams are running with the same drivers as in 2011. Red Bull (Vettel and Webber), McLaren (Button and Hamilton), Ferrari (HWMNBN and Massa), Mercedes (Slappy and Rosberg), Sauber (Gandalf and Perez) and Caterham-who-was-Lotus (Kovaleinninninnie and Trulli) have made no changes. These choices all make sense. Sauber's pair show promise (and Sergio Perez has enough sponsorship money via Carlos Slim to buy a team to boot), and Caterham-nee-Lotus' drivers are a great combination of intelligence and speed, perfect for a newer team.
Renault, which is now Lotus, not to be confused with Caterham who was Lotus, has brought former F1 World Driver's Champion Mumbles Raikkonen back into the sport. He'll be teamed with young Lettuce Grosjean, who we saw for a half-season in 2009... where he failed to impress. However, the past two years have been kind to the Swiss-born Frenchman. He was Pirelli's prime tire-tester in 2010, and he won the GP2 series championship in 2011.
Force India is bringing back one of their 2011 drivers for the new season. The surprise is that it ISN'T Adrian Sutil. Instead, we'll be seeing another year of the Paul di Resta Experience. He'll be joined by Nico (The Incredible) Hulkenberg, who we last saw sitting on pole at Interlagos in 2010 for Williams. In 2011, he was FIndia's reserve driver, so he'll just step right in.
During the 2011 season, both Toro Rosso drivers (DJ Squire and Seb Buemi) were rumored to be losing their seat at one time or another. It was assumed that only one would be axed to make way for up-and-comer Jean-Eric Vergne. While it's true that Vergne has taken one of the seats, both 2011 drivers got it in the neck. Teaming with Vergne will be Daniel Ricciardo, who we saw with HRT for the back half of 2011, taking over from Narain Kittylitter. To me, this is the biggest surprise so far. Both DJ Squire and Seb Buemi are good enough to drive in F1, and like Hulkenberg last season, both are deserving of a drive. To date, neither have one.
Virgin is changing their name for 2012, becoming Marussia F1... and in case you're wondering, Marussia is Russia's first sports-car manufacturer. Tim O'Glockenspiel will be returning for the 2012 season. He'll be joined by French rookie Charles Pic. Pic finished fourth in GP2 last season, and reportedly looked good in the New Driver's Test at Abu Dhabi... good enough that he was given two full days behind the wheel, instead of the day-and-a-half originally scheduled.
Williams is the first of the teams that still has an opening. Pastor Maldonado, who drove with the team in 2011, has one drive locked up. The seat held by Rubens Barrichello last year is the one that remains open. His contract has expired, and Williams hasn't shown any interest in resigning him. With Adrian Sutil, DJ Squire and Seb Buemi still on the market, they're guaranteed a talented, experienced driver if that's the way they want to go. They could also go for a sponsorship-heavy newbie driver, which might be for the best. There were reports of funding shortages last season for Williams, a sad state of affairs for such a legendary F1 marque.
Finally, HRT has the other free seat. In the offseason, they signed Pedro de la Rosa (aka "Pete Rose"), who will be 41 as the season starts, to be their lead driver. To be blunt, this is probably the greatest off-season move of any team... including the return of Mumbles Raikkonen. Pete Rose, who we last saw in a one-off appearance for Sauber at Canada in 2011 (filling in for the severely concussed Sergio Perez), has a reputation for being the World's Greatest Test Driver, having filled that position for McLaren for most of the past decade. He's also had a few half-seasons as a full-time driver, most recently in 2010 with Sauber. He'll be a great fit with HRT, who needs an experienced, skillful wheelman if they're going to catch up to Caterham and become a "real team." Their second seat will almost certainly go to the driver with the biggest wallet.
Two seats, many many drivers: it's like a multi-million dollar game of Musical Chairs!
The biggest news is that the Silly Season is almost over! 22 of the 24 seats for the 2012 F1 season have been filled. Only two teams still have open seats. Shall we take a look at the driver lineup as we know it?
Unsurprisingly, some teams are running with the same drivers as in 2011. Red Bull (Vettel and Webber), McLaren (Button and Hamilton), Ferrari (HWMNBN and Massa), Mercedes (Slappy and Rosberg), Sauber (Gandalf and Perez) and Caterham-who-was-Lotus (Kovaleinninninnie and Trulli) have made no changes. These choices all make sense. Sauber's pair show promise (and Sergio Perez has enough sponsorship money via Carlos Slim to buy a team to boot), and Caterham-nee-Lotus' drivers are a great combination of intelligence and speed, perfect for a newer team.
Renault, which is now Lotus, not to be confused with Caterham who was Lotus, has brought former F1 World Driver's Champion Mumbles Raikkonen back into the sport. He'll be teamed with young Lettuce Grosjean, who we saw for a half-season in 2009... where he failed to impress. However, the past two years have been kind to the Swiss-born Frenchman. He was Pirelli's prime tire-tester in 2010, and he won the GP2 series championship in 2011.
Force India is bringing back one of their 2011 drivers for the new season. The surprise is that it ISN'T Adrian Sutil. Instead, we'll be seeing another year of the Paul di Resta Experience. He'll be joined by Nico (The Incredible) Hulkenberg, who we last saw sitting on pole at Interlagos in 2010 for Williams. In 2011, he was FIndia's reserve driver, so he'll just step right in.
During the 2011 season, both Toro Rosso drivers (DJ Squire and Seb Buemi) were rumored to be losing their seat at one time or another. It was assumed that only one would be axed to make way for up-and-comer Jean-Eric Vergne. While it's true that Vergne has taken one of the seats, both 2011 drivers got it in the neck. Teaming with Vergne will be Daniel Ricciardo, who we saw with HRT for the back half of 2011, taking over from Narain Kittylitter. To me, this is the biggest surprise so far. Both DJ Squire and Seb Buemi are good enough to drive in F1, and like Hulkenberg last season, both are deserving of a drive. To date, neither have one.
Virgin is changing their name for 2012, becoming Marussia F1... and in case you're wondering, Marussia is Russia's first sports-car manufacturer. Tim O'Glockenspiel will be returning for the 2012 season. He'll be joined by French rookie Charles Pic. Pic finished fourth in GP2 last season, and reportedly looked good in the New Driver's Test at Abu Dhabi... good enough that he was given two full days behind the wheel, instead of the day-and-a-half originally scheduled.
Williams is the first of the teams that still has an opening. Pastor Maldonado, who drove with the team in 2011, has one drive locked up. The seat held by Rubens Barrichello last year is the one that remains open. His contract has expired, and Williams hasn't shown any interest in resigning him. With Adrian Sutil, DJ Squire and Seb Buemi still on the market, they're guaranteed a talented, experienced driver if that's the way they want to go. They could also go for a sponsorship-heavy newbie driver, which might be for the best. There were reports of funding shortages last season for Williams, a sad state of affairs for such a legendary F1 marque.
Finally, HRT has the other free seat. In the offseason, they signed Pedro de la Rosa (aka "Pete Rose"), who will be 41 as the season starts, to be their lead driver. To be blunt, this is probably the greatest off-season move of any team... including the return of Mumbles Raikkonen. Pete Rose, who we last saw in a one-off appearance for Sauber at Canada in 2011 (filling in for the severely concussed Sergio Perez), has a reputation for being the World's Greatest Test Driver, having filled that position for McLaren for most of the past decade. He's also had a few half-seasons as a full-time driver, most recently in 2010 with Sauber. He'll be a great fit with HRT, who needs an experienced, skillful wheelman if they're going to catch up to Caterham and become a "real team." Their second seat will almost certainly go to the driver with the biggest wallet.
Two seats, many many drivers: it's like a multi-million dollar game of Musical Chairs!
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November 29, 2011
F1 News Flash: ...And Mumbles Makes Six!
Big news from Renault today as it was announced that they had signed former World Drivers Champion Kimi ("Mumbles") Raikkonen for the 2012 season. His return from self-imposed semi-exile means we'll have a record SIX different Drivers Champions on the grid next year as he joins Seb Vettel, Lewis Hamilton, Jenson Button, Slappy Schumacher and HWMNBN.
We last saw Mumbles driving for Ferrari in 2009, after which he left the sport to become another in a long line of Finnish rally drivers. He then drove a limited schedule in the NASCAR Camping World Truck Series (driving the #15 Perky Jerky Toyota Tundra) and one race in the Nationwide Series, the Triple-A league of NASCAR.
Raikkonen is probably best known for being the sole Ferrari driver I could actually stand, even when he won his Championship in 2007. Unfortunately, his signing comes hard on the heels of the announcement that Robert Kubica, injured in a rallycar accident before the 2011 F1 season began, will not be ready to drive for the beginning of 2012. That probably means that he's out of F1 permanently, I'm afraid, as Renault really wanted him back.
It seems likely that both of Renault's 2011 drivers, Bruno Senna and The Red Menace, will be kicked to the curb, with Lettuce Grosjean taking the second seat. The Red Menace does come with a metric farkton of sponsorship money, however, so that's not for sure yet.
In his introductory press conference today, Raikkonen said "Rmbmbmbmbmbbmmbm mrnmrbmmrmmbbmbr mrrrbrmmrbml."
We last saw Mumbles driving for Ferrari in 2009, after which he left the sport to become another in a long line of Finnish rally drivers. He then drove a limited schedule in the NASCAR Camping World Truck Series (driving the #15 Perky Jerky Toyota Tundra) and one race in the Nationwide Series, the Triple-A league of NASCAR.
Raikkonen is probably best known for being the sole Ferrari driver I could actually stand, even when he won his Championship in 2007. Unfortunately, his signing comes hard on the heels of the announcement that Robert Kubica, injured in a rallycar accident before the 2011 F1 season began, will not be ready to drive for the beginning of 2012. That probably means that he's out of F1 permanently, I'm afraid, as Renault really wanted him back.
It seems likely that both of Renault's 2011 drivers, Bruno Senna and The Red Menace, will be kicked to the curb, with Lettuce Grosjean taking the second seat. The Red Menace does come with a metric farkton of sponsorship money, however, so that's not for sure yet.
In his introductory press conference today, Raikkonen said "Rmbmbmbmbmbbmmbm mrnmrbmmrmmbbmbr mrrrbrmmrbml."
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November 26, 2011
F1 Quals: Brazil 2011
The year was 1991. Operation Desert Storm liberated Kuwait from the Iraqi military. The New York Giants beat the Buffalo Bills in Super Bowl XXV. Boris Yeltsin was elected President of Russia. Red Grange passed away. Mount Pinatubo erupted, killing 800. The first Sonic the Hedgehog game was released by Sega. The Warsaw Pact came to an end. Danny Thomas passed away. Jeffrey Dahmer was arrested. The Super Nintendo was released. Linus Torvalds first reveals the Linux kernel on Usenet. Rajiv Ghandi was assassinated by the Tamil Tigers. The Minnesota Twins defeat the Atlanta Braves to win the World Series. The Halloween Blizzard catches a Grad School student named Wonderduck by surprise. The Soviet Union officially dissolved. Freddy Mercury, Dr Seuss and Gene Roddenberry all pass away. And a 21 year old Brazilian named Rubens Barrichello starts his first Formula 1 race. In 1992, the very next season, Nigel Mansell set a record earning 14 pole positions in that season. Today, Rubens Barrichello may be qualifying for his final Formula 1 race, and Seb Vettel has a chance to break Mansell's record. But did he? Let's look at the provisional grid for the 2011 Grand Prix of Brazil:
It wasn't even close. Not only was Seb Vettel the only driver to break 1:12.000, his 1:11.918 time was only a half-second off the Interlagos course record. That time was set in 2004, when the cars had unrestricted V10 engines and could have all manner of bargeboards and winglets to increase downforce. Further, a tirewar was in progress between Michelin and Bridgestone, thus providing wildly grippy (though grooved) tires. So yes, Seb Vettel blew the field away with a lap that looked like he was on rails. Everybody else, even his teammate Mark Webber, seemed to be having problems with grip, sawing at the steering wheel to correct and recorrect their paths through turns. On the other hand, Vettel's pole lap looked like he was just on a casual drive through the country. Amazing, simply amazing. We've seen something here today we may never see again, unless Vettel happens to the 2012 season as well.
As far as the race tomorrow goes, there's a high expectation of rain during the race. If that happens, it's a crapshoot as to who'll win. No way I'd bet against Vettel though, no matter the weather conditions.
I hope he appreciates what's going on. The race is Sunday, see ya then!
It wasn't even close. Not only was Seb Vettel the only driver to break 1:12.000, his 1:11.918 time was only a half-second off the Interlagos course record. That time was set in 2004, when the cars had unrestricted V10 engines and could have all manner of bargeboards and winglets to increase downforce. Further, a tirewar was in progress between Michelin and Bridgestone, thus providing wildly grippy (though grooved) tires. So yes, Seb Vettel blew the field away with a lap that looked like he was on rails. Everybody else, even his teammate Mark Webber, seemed to be having problems with grip, sawing at the steering wheel to correct and recorrect their paths through turns. On the other hand, Vettel's pole lap looked like he was just on a casual drive through the country. Amazing, simply amazing. We've seen something here today we may never see again, unless Vettel happens to the 2012 season as well.
As far as the race tomorrow goes, there's a high expectation of rain during the race. If that happens, it's a crapshoot as to who'll win. No way I'd bet against Vettel though, no matter the weather conditions.
I hope he appreciates what's going on. The race is Sunday, see ya then!
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November 21, 2011
F1 on SPEED!: Brazil 2011
After 18 races across 17 countries, the F1 Circus pitches their tents for one last time for the final race of the season. This time, we find ourselves in the Brazilian city of São Paulo, racing on the track formally known as Autodromo Jose Carlos Pace, but more commonly known as Interlagos. Let's take a look at the track map:
It's no secret that I dislike the circuit at Hungary, nearly to the exclusion of all others. The one track I despise more than the Hungaroring is paradoxically one of the more popular races amongst the F1 drivers... this one. To be honest, my dislike of this circuit has nothing to do with the track itself. Indeed, this is the sort of layout I would quite like normally. A lot of elevation change (the run from Turn 1 to the end of Turn 3 is all downhill, and from Turn 12 aka Juncao to Turn 15 is all uphill), fast sweeping turns, a "technical" section that is relatively inoffensive... it's a challenging track, and one that's really quite appealing.
Except I hate it. It's completely irrational for me to dislike Interlagos, but there's an emotional aspect involved. As I've mentioned in the past, it always feels gray on race day (even when it isn't). The racing line for Turn 15 goes right through the pit-in, and with the positioning of F1's cameras at Turn 1, looking all the way down the front straight, it always looks like cars are going to crash into the pit lane barriers at 170mph. The pit out is the longest in F1, too. Furthermore, the track is positioned between two man-made reservoirs that provide water to São Paulo, leading to the name "interlagos," literally "between lakes." The pressure of the water has caused the surface of the track to wrinkle, leading to a very bumpy surface. A resurfacing in 2007 did not entirely solve the problem. All of these things make this a track I really don't like.
The fact that it's the final race of the season might have something to do with it, too.
Still, this is what we've got this week and it's not a Tilkedrome, that's gotta count for something. Pirelli is bringing a new soft tire compound to the race, one that they say is less conservative than the previous rubber. The medium compound will be the "hard" tire this time around. Interlagos isn't a particularly hard track on the tires, so expect the softs to last for a while... unless Pirelli has put the razor blades back into the compound like they did back at the beginning of the season.
Whatever way it works out, the good people at SPEED! will be bringing us the Legendary Announce Team all weekend long! Let's take a look at the broadcast schedule, shall we?
Friday:
6a - 730a: Practice 1, streaming
10a - 1140a: Practice 2, LIVE
Saturday:
7a - 8a: Practice 3, streaming
10a - 1130a: Quals, plausibly live
Sunday:
930a - 12noon: 2011 Grand Prix of Brazil, LIVE. There's also a replay from 11a-130p on Monday.
And then that's it until January, when we'll start to see F1 Pr0n with the rollouts of the 2012 cars. Of course, F1U! will be all over this weekend, with a desperation born of the end of the year. It helps that the whole weekend is at times where I can actually watch it live! We'll see you then!
It's no secret that I dislike the circuit at Hungary, nearly to the exclusion of all others. The one track I despise more than the Hungaroring is paradoxically one of the more popular races amongst the F1 drivers... this one. To be honest, my dislike of this circuit has nothing to do with the track itself. Indeed, this is the sort of layout I would quite like normally. A lot of elevation change (the run from Turn 1 to the end of Turn 3 is all downhill, and from Turn 12 aka Juncao to Turn 15 is all uphill), fast sweeping turns, a "technical" section that is relatively inoffensive... it's a challenging track, and one that's really quite appealing.
Except I hate it. It's completely irrational for me to dislike Interlagos, but there's an emotional aspect involved. As I've mentioned in the past, it always feels gray on race day (even when it isn't). The racing line for Turn 15 goes right through the pit-in, and with the positioning of F1's cameras at Turn 1, looking all the way down the front straight, it always looks like cars are going to crash into the pit lane barriers at 170mph. The pit out is the longest in F1, too. Furthermore, the track is positioned between two man-made reservoirs that provide water to São Paulo, leading to the name "interlagos," literally "between lakes." The pressure of the water has caused the surface of the track to wrinkle, leading to a very bumpy surface. A resurfacing in 2007 did not entirely solve the problem. All of these things make this a track I really don't like.
The fact that it's the final race of the season might have something to do with it, too.
Still, this is what we've got this week and it's not a Tilkedrome, that's gotta count for something. Pirelli is bringing a new soft tire compound to the race, one that they say is less conservative than the previous rubber. The medium compound will be the "hard" tire this time around. Interlagos isn't a particularly hard track on the tires, so expect the softs to last for a while... unless Pirelli has put the razor blades back into the compound like they did back at the beginning of the season.
Whatever way it works out, the good people at SPEED! will be bringing us the Legendary Announce Team all weekend long! Let's take a look at the broadcast schedule, shall we?
Friday:
6a - 730a: Practice 1, streaming
10a - 1140a: Practice 2, LIVE
Saturday:
7a - 8a: Practice 3, streaming
10a - 1130a: Quals, plausibly live
Sunday:
930a - 12noon: 2011 Grand Prix of Brazil, LIVE. There's also a replay from 11a-130p on Monday.
And then that's it until January, when we'll start to see F1 Pr0n with the rollouts of the 2012 cars. Of course, F1U! will be all over this weekend, with a desperation born of the end of the year. It helps that the whole weekend is at times where I can actually watch it live! We'll see you then!
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November 12, 2011
F1 Quals: Abu Dhabi 2011
Now THAT'S how you do a qualifying session. Let's get right to it; here's the provisional grid for the 2011 Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi:
Pole #14 on the season for Seb Vettel, tying the record held by Nigel Mansell. That's impressive enough, but how he did it today was the real story. To be blunt, this should have been Lewis Hamilton's pole. He had been fastest in two of the three practice sessions and in the first two quals periods. When Jenson Button crossed the line on his final hot lap in Q3, Hamilton was just a few seconds behind him on the track. It came as no surprise when Button's pole time fell to Lewis, though the .009 second time differential did cause some raised eyebrows and amazed chuckles here at Pond Central. And then the cameras cut to Seb Vettel.
Red Bull had gotten him out last for the final run to pole, and he had clear track in front of him. While he'd been quick in Q1 and Q2, it wasn't the normal Red Bull Dominating Performance®... you never got the feeling that he had something in reserve. It seemed like Vettel had been getting the most out of his car could give today, and for whatever reason it just wasn't as good as the McLarens.
But then Vettel began his final hot lap. The first two sectors were good, but nothing that would put him on pole. Third, maybe. In the previous two races at the Yas Marina Circuit the Red Bull chassis always stood head and shoulders above everybody else in the final sector, but not this year. The McLarens had been trading purple numbers between themselves for Sector 3 all weekend. Everything pointed to Vettel having no chance to be on pole. And then Vettel was perfect. That's the only way to describe that final sector... the perfect line, catching just the right amount of curb, putting just the right amount of pressure on the brakes and gas pedals, the absolute minimum of steering input used, gears changed at exactly the right moment. When he entered Sector 3, he was nearly .2 of a second behind Hamilton's pace. When he exited, he had pole by .141 seconds. Truly astonishing, and after seeing it I wondered how he didn't have 18 poles this season. However, and this is an important note, his pole lap was still slower than Hamilton's fastest lap in Q2. The McLaren and the Red Bull cars are, for all intents and purposes, equal. It should come down to the best driver between Hamilton, Vettel and Button for the race... and I'm not sure that doesn't mean Jenson Button won't win. We'll find out on Sunday!
You'll note that Rubens Barrichello did not turn a timed lap in Q1. He had an oil leak in his Cosworth engine, his seventh of the season's allotment of eight. The team wants him to have a fresh engine for Brazil, so to protect the seventh engine they decided not to put any extra avoidable stress on it. This decision brings up an interesting statistical note. Barrichello has made 330 starts in his F1 career, far and away the most in F1 history... and tomorrow will be the worst starting position he has ever had, either 23rd or 24th, depending on if he is placed ahead of, or behind, his teammate Vicar Maldonado who has a 10-spot grid penalty. Rubens has driven for some truly, epically bad teams: Honda, Jordan, Stewart. In some of those years, there were 28 cars on the grid. He's never been this low at the start ever.
In any case, we might just have ourselves something of a race tomorrow. F1U! will be all over it, see you then!
Pole #14 on the season for Seb Vettel, tying the record held by Nigel Mansell. That's impressive enough, but how he did it today was the real story. To be blunt, this should have been Lewis Hamilton's pole. He had been fastest in two of the three practice sessions and in the first two quals periods. When Jenson Button crossed the line on his final hot lap in Q3, Hamilton was just a few seconds behind him on the track. It came as no surprise when Button's pole time fell to Lewis, though the .009 second time differential did cause some raised eyebrows and amazed chuckles here at Pond Central. And then the cameras cut to Seb Vettel.
Red Bull had gotten him out last for the final run to pole, and he had clear track in front of him. While he'd been quick in Q1 and Q2, it wasn't the normal Red Bull Dominating Performance®... you never got the feeling that he had something in reserve. It seemed like Vettel had been getting the most out of his car could give today, and for whatever reason it just wasn't as good as the McLarens.
But then Vettel began his final hot lap. The first two sectors were good, but nothing that would put him on pole. Third, maybe. In the previous two races at the Yas Marina Circuit the Red Bull chassis always stood head and shoulders above everybody else in the final sector, but not this year. The McLarens had been trading purple numbers between themselves for Sector 3 all weekend. Everything pointed to Vettel having no chance to be on pole. And then Vettel was perfect. That's the only way to describe that final sector... the perfect line, catching just the right amount of curb, putting just the right amount of pressure on the brakes and gas pedals, the absolute minimum of steering input used, gears changed at exactly the right moment. When he entered Sector 3, he was nearly .2 of a second behind Hamilton's pace. When he exited, he had pole by .141 seconds. Truly astonishing, and after seeing it I wondered how he didn't have 18 poles this season. However, and this is an important note, his pole lap was still slower than Hamilton's fastest lap in Q2. The McLaren and the Red Bull cars are, for all intents and purposes, equal. It should come down to the best driver between Hamilton, Vettel and Button for the race... and I'm not sure that doesn't mean Jenson Button won't win. We'll find out on Sunday!
You'll note that Rubens Barrichello did not turn a timed lap in Q1. He had an oil leak in his Cosworth engine, his seventh of the season's allotment of eight. The team wants him to have a fresh engine for Brazil, so to protect the seventh engine they decided not to put any extra avoidable stress on it. This decision brings up an interesting statistical note. Barrichello has made 330 starts in his F1 career, far and away the most in F1 history... and tomorrow will be the worst starting position he has ever had, either 23rd or 24th, depending on if he is placed ahead of, or behind, his teammate Vicar Maldonado who has a 10-spot grid penalty. Rubens has driven for some truly, epically bad teams: Honda, Jordan, Stewart. In some of those years, there were 28 cars on the grid. He's never been this low at the start ever.
In any case, we might just have ourselves something of a race tomorrow. F1U! will be all over it, see you then!
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November 11, 2011
F1 Practice: Abu Dhabi 2011
A sunny early evening at Abu Dhabi greeted the F1 Circus as they took to the circuit for Friday's second practice, and it appears that something unexpected has occurred. The combination of Pirelli tires and a race run in both day and night may not be the most awesome thing ever. Everything was fine and dandy while the sun was up and the track was warm... but when night fell and the asphalt began to cool, the Pirellis just sort of surrendered any vestige of grip they may have had.
First, Mark Webber looped his Red Bull underneath the hotel. Then his teammate, the reigning Driver's Champion Seb Vettel, lost it heading into Turn 1, sliding all the way across the vast expanse of runoff area until he gorked his car into the SAFER-like barriers. He was unhurt, but the right side of the Red Bull was toast. About ten minutes after this, HWMNBN came racing down towards Turn 1 and not only did he lose it just like Vettel, he wound up planting his Ferrari into virtually the same place as the Red Bull. In the Spaniard's case, he wound up going into the barriers backwards, causing untold amounts of damage to the hazard flasher. Throw in Felipe Massa nearly reaching the barrier in P1 and Lewis Hamilton nearly having an exciting moment in P2, and you start to notice a trend here.
Other than that little bit of data, the other interesting thing that crawled out of the Abu Dhabian desert is that neither Red Bull was particularly fast around the track today. Jenson Button lead the way in P1, Hamilton in P2... with the two Red Bullies ending up 5th and 6th. I've always said you can't trust practice times, and I'll stand by that statement, but you don't usually see a Red Bull a full half-second behind the leader in any session for any reason. I'll keep an eye on this, but for some reason I'm still expecting to see Sebby on pole after Q3 comes to an end on Saturday.
Meanwhile, we learned that Sauber's Pastor Maldonado is going to take a 10-spot grid penalty for Sunday's race. He's had to use a ninth engine on the season when you only get eight. Vaya con dios, Sauber and kiss that seventh place in the Constructor's Championship goodbye as Toro Rosso is looking awfully decent so far.
I mentioned earlier that the difference between 5th and 8th place in the Constructor's Championship is measured in the tens of millions of dollars. Oddly enough, the Legendary Announce Team was talking about that very topic today. While the actual numbers are shrouded in mystery and skullduggery, whispers suggest that last year, Red Bull was awarded some $85 million for winning the Constructor's Championship... and Williams' sixth place earned them a $60 million check from Darth Bernie's bank account. Some $660 million was paid out to all the teams in 2010. Understand this: $60 million would be enough to fund some TEN high-ranking NASCAR teams for an entire year. Yeah, there's some money floating around F1.
Quals in the morning, see ya then!
First, Mark Webber looped his Red Bull underneath the hotel. Then his teammate, the reigning Driver's Champion Seb Vettel, lost it heading into Turn 1, sliding all the way across the vast expanse of runoff area until he gorked his car into the SAFER-like barriers. He was unhurt, but the right side of the Red Bull was toast. About ten minutes after this, HWMNBN came racing down towards Turn 1 and not only did he lose it just like Vettel, he wound up planting his Ferrari into virtually the same place as the Red Bull. In the Spaniard's case, he wound up going into the barriers backwards, causing untold amounts of damage to the hazard flasher. Throw in Felipe Massa nearly reaching the barrier in P1 and Lewis Hamilton nearly having an exciting moment in P2, and you start to notice a trend here.
Other than that little bit of data, the other interesting thing that crawled out of the Abu Dhabian desert is that neither Red Bull was particularly fast around the track today. Jenson Button lead the way in P1, Hamilton in P2... with the two Red Bullies ending up 5th and 6th. I've always said you can't trust practice times, and I'll stand by that statement, but you don't usually see a Red Bull a full half-second behind the leader in any session for any reason. I'll keep an eye on this, but for some reason I'm still expecting to see Sebby on pole after Q3 comes to an end on Saturday.
Meanwhile, we learned that Sauber's Pastor Maldonado is going to take a 10-spot grid penalty for Sunday's race. He's had to use a ninth engine on the season when you only get eight. Vaya con dios, Sauber and kiss that seventh place in the Constructor's Championship goodbye as Toro Rosso is looking awfully decent so far.
I mentioned earlier that the difference between 5th and 8th place in the Constructor's Championship is measured in the tens of millions of dollars. Oddly enough, the Legendary Announce Team was talking about that very topic today. While the actual numbers are shrouded in mystery and skullduggery, whispers suggest that last year, Red Bull was awarded some $85 million for winning the Constructor's Championship... and Williams' sixth place earned them a $60 million check from Darth Bernie's bank account. Some $660 million was paid out to all the teams in 2010. Understand this: $60 million would be enough to fund some TEN high-ranking NASCAR teams for an entire year. Yeah, there's some money floating around F1.
Quals in the morning, see ya then!
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November 08, 2011
F1 on SPEED!: Abu Dhabi 2011
The Driver's Championship is sewn up. First, second and third in the Constructor's Championship are locked in, and fourth may as well be. Ladies and Gentlemen, that is the exciting backdrop for this year's Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi! Let's take a look at the track map:
We've had two previous Grands Prix here, and to be honest neither of them were all that great. Oh sure, watching HWMNBN get stuck behind The Red Menace for the entire race when he needed to get past to have a chance at winning the Driver's Championship was... satisfying... but not exciting. But that was the past; with today's KERS/DRS combination, there will undoubtedly be some passing. It's just hard to get excited about this race, all things considered.
It IS desperately important Sauber, Toro Rosso, Force India and Renault, however. These teams are all racing to finish fifth in the Constructor's Championship, and all four have a decent chance for the "best of the rest" prize. Renault has the lead with 72 points, followed by Force India's 51. Sauber and Toro Rosso are tied on points with 41, but Sauber leads the Red Bull junior team by dint of better finishes. The difference between finishing fifth and eighth is measured in the tens of millions of dollars when Darth Bernie writes the checks at the end of the year, and you'd best believe all four teams would kill for that cash. Indeed, it could literally be the difference between life and death for a team like Sauber, the last of the privateers. We'll keep an eye on that during the race, for sure!
As will the good folks at SPEED, who are bringing us their usual great coverage for the race weekend! Here's when it all goes down:
Friday: 3a - 430a P1 (streaming), 7a - 840a P2 (live)
Saturday: 4a - 5a P3 (streaming), 7a - 830a Quals (live)
Sunday: 630a - 9a Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi (live), 2p - 430p race replay
F1U! will be all over it, too! It's the penultimate race of the season; as dull as the backstories may be, it's still F1, and the season is nearly over... gotta enjoy it while it lasts!
See you then!
We've had two previous Grands Prix here, and to be honest neither of them were all that great. Oh sure, watching HWMNBN get stuck behind The Red Menace for the entire race when he needed to get past to have a chance at winning the Driver's Championship was... satisfying... but not exciting. But that was the past; with today's KERS/DRS combination, there will undoubtedly be some passing. It's just hard to get excited about this race, all things considered.
It IS desperately important Sauber, Toro Rosso, Force India and Renault, however. These teams are all racing to finish fifth in the Constructor's Championship, and all four have a decent chance for the "best of the rest" prize. Renault has the lead with 72 points, followed by Force India's 51. Sauber and Toro Rosso are tied on points with 41, but Sauber leads the Red Bull junior team by dint of better finishes. The difference between finishing fifth and eighth is measured in the tens of millions of dollars when Darth Bernie writes the checks at the end of the year, and you'd best believe all four teams would kill for that cash. Indeed, it could literally be the difference between life and death for a team like Sauber, the last of the privateers. We'll keep an eye on that during the race, for sure!
As will the good folks at SPEED, who are bringing us their usual great coverage for the race weekend! Here's when it all goes down:
Friday: 3a - 430a P1 (streaming), 7a - 840a P2 (live)
Saturday: 4a - 5a P3 (streaming), 7a - 830a Quals (live)
Sunday: 630a - 9a Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi (live), 2p - 430p race replay
F1U! will be all over it, too! It's the penultimate race of the season; as dull as the backstories may be, it's still F1, and the season is nearly over... gotta enjoy it while it lasts!
See you then!
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October 29, 2011
F1 Quals: India 2011
It's always a point of pride to be the first ever to score a pole at a new track, but it's not like that's the only thing up for grabs here. Red Bull could set a single-season record with a pole, and Seb Vettel could continue his chase to tie a record. And, of course, everybody else would like to prevent that from happening. So how did it shake out? Let's take a look at the provisional grid for the 2011 Grand Prix of India:
Well, it was hardly unexpected. As he has all season, Seb Vettel blew away the field to earn his 13th pole position. In doing so, Red Bull won their 16th of the year, a new single-season record. Surprisingly, there was no drama to Q3 at all. Vettel went out, set a lap that was good enough for pole and let everybody else take their shots. When McLaren's Lewis Hamilton came close to bumping him on the first run, Vettel returned to the track. In the middle of his second run, Felipe Massa brought out the yellow flags when his suspension broke going over a curb.
This rather abrupt loss of grip sent him nose-first into a wall in a style reminiscent of his 2009 Hungary wreck. Fortunately there were no springs flying around this time, and the Brazilian got out of the car unscathed. Behind him, however, were all the drivers who had any possibility of beating Vettel's time: Jenson Button, HWMNBN and Mark Webber. While Button was having difficulties some difficulties with his tires, he had a decent looking lap going. All three were badly hurt by the yellow flags, which required them to slow down in the vicinity of Massa's wreck. Lewis Hamilton, who was ahead of Massa on the track, aborted his second run for pole when it became clear that he wasn't even going to match his first flying lap. So instead of a tense shootout, it became a fait accompli. Nico Rosberg's Mercedes never really had a chance, and the two Toro Rossos never even left the garage. The Force India of Adrian Sutil turned an installation lap to the delight of the Indian fans, but returned to the garage to preserve his tires for the race.
At the back of the grid, we have an official changing of the guard. For the first time ever, both HRTs qualified ahead of both Virgins. It's been coming for a while now, but it's now obvious that the Virgin F1 team is now the slowest on the grid. Tim O'Glockenspiel barely turned a timed lap before his gearbox decided to grenade itself. He will be allowed to start dead last.
Finally, there are FIVE separate drivers dealing with grid spot penalties. Lewis Hamilton and Sergio Perez both lose three spots for their ignoring yellow flags at the end of P1, sending Hamilton to fifth and Perez to 20th on the grid. The Red Menace got a five-spot penalty for causing an accident (with Slappy Schumacher) in Korea, dropping him to 16th. Finally, both HRT drivers received penalties as well: Kittylitter for impeding another driver, which drops him to 23rd; and Daniel Ricciardo gets a five-spotter for having to change a gearbox before Quals. He'll start 22nd.
So, that's the news from the first Indian quals! The race is in the morning, and F1U! will duly follow. See you then!
Well, it was hardly unexpected. As he has all season, Seb Vettel blew away the field to earn his 13th pole position. In doing so, Red Bull won their 16th of the year, a new single-season record. Surprisingly, there was no drama to Q3 at all. Vettel went out, set a lap that was good enough for pole and let everybody else take their shots. When McLaren's Lewis Hamilton came close to bumping him on the first run, Vettel returned to the track. In the middle of his second run, Felipe Massa brought out the yellow flags when his suspension broke going over a curb.
This rather abrupt loss of grip sent him nose-first into a wall in a style reminiscent of his 2009 Hungary wreck. Fortunately there were no springs flying around this time, and the Brazilian got out of the car unscathed. Behind him, however, were all the drivers who had any possibility of beating Vettel's time: Jenson Button, HWMNBN and Mark Webber. While Button was having difficulties some difficulties with his tires, he had a decent looking lap going. All three were badly hurt by the yellow flags, which required them to slow down in the vicinity of Massa's wreck. Lewis Hamilton, who was ahead of Massa on the track, aborted his second run for pole when it became clear that he wasn't even going to match his first flying lap. So instead of a tense shootout, it became a fait accompli. Nico Rosberg's Mercedes never really had a chance, and the two Toro Rossos never even left the garage. The Force India of Adrian Sutil turned an installation lap to the delight of the Indian fans, but returned to the garage to preserve his tires for the race.
At the back of the grid, we have an official changing of the guard. For the first time ever, both HRTs qualified ahead of both Virgins. It's been coming for a while now, but it's now obvious that the Virgin F1 team is now the slowest on the grid. Tim O'Glockenspiel barely turned a timed lap before his gearbox decided to grenade itself. He will be allowed to start dead last.
Finally, there are FIVE separate drivers dealing with grid spot penalties. Lewis Hamilton and Sergio Perez both lose three spots for their ignoring yellow flags at the end of P1, sending Hamilton to fifth and Perez to 20th on the grid. The Red Menace got a five-spot penalty for causing an accident (with Slappy Schumacher) in Korea, dropping him to 16th. Finally, both HRT drivers received penalties as well: Kittylitter for impeding another driver, which drops him to 23rd; and Daniel Ricciardo gets a five-spotter for having to change a gearbox before Quals. He'll start 22nd.
So, that's the news from the first Indian quals! The race is in the morning, and F1U! will duly follow. See you then!
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F1 Quals: India report delayed
Don't have time to post the report right now. I'll do it sometime this afternoon. Sorry about the delay!
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