(PRE-SESSION) So here we are again!  I didn't expect that I'd have the chance to do this, but I've pretty much given up on my fantasy baseball league preparation.  There's no way I'll be able to do enough research in two nights, so instead I will do F1 to you.  A quick check of the weather sites points out that it's not raining in Kuala Lumpur, so we should have a useful practice session ahead.  To watch along with this liveblog, point yourself to SPEED's F1 stream.  As in the past liveblogging sessions, the session is 90 minutes in length.  I'll be using the time remaining as the time notation:  if you see (1:02:30), that means 27.5 minutes have gone by in the session.  Read from (1:30:00).  Do not taunt happyfunball.    If happyfunball begins to smoke, seek shelter and cover head.  Happyfunball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.  Accept no substitutes!

(1:30:00) ...and we're green!


(1:28:10)  Back a few years ago, Lotus Caterham said that they'd be based entirely in Malaysia.  Their factory was to be there, the cars would be built there, the whole lot.  Wonder what happened to that plan?

(1:25:40)  Interestingly enough, everybody is making for the track to turn a few laps... including the heavy-hitters.  I've seen McLaren, Ferrari, Mercedes, Williams, FIndia, all on the circuit already, pretty much anybody but Red Bull and Toro Rosso.  Usually the big boys wait a bit before they go out.  Even stranger, Slappy Schumacher was perambulating around the course with his rainlight flashing... do they know something we don't?

(1:22:30) Speak of the debbil, here's a Toro Rosso doing a lap, and Sebby Vettel getting ready to go out.

(1:20:15) Narain Kittylitter is getting ready to try and get a few laps in for HRT before the car falls apart again.  Optimistic, isn't he?

(1:16:50)  I'm not saying that Paul di Resta is having problems with his Force India, but he was just passed by the Marussia of Tim O'Glockenspiel.  I'm also noticing that he's not activating his DRS at all.  And his rain light is flashing. 

(1:13:34)  It's not raining, but from the look of the skies, it will be soon enough.  And Kittylitter takes the field!

(1:11:11)  Oof.  To whit:

For those unschooled in the fine art of FIA Graphics Packages, let me translate.  In the lower left, you see two times: the current fastest lap time at that point of the lap (in this case, 1:01.348) in red, then Kittylitter's time at that same point.  The HRT was over four seconds slower.  I don't care that it was an installation lap, the chassis just looked slow.

(1:05:10) Felipe Massa's father was just shown on camera.  He still looks like Joe Torre.

(1:03:06) Lettuce Grosjean is having problems with his Renault Lotus.  How could I tell?

Please note the dial on the left-hand side of the screen.  It shows that the car is going 101 kph (approx 60mph) in 7th gear, at around 6000rpm.  Usually you'd be ~18000rpm and 180mph in 7th gear.  That's how I could tell.

(1:03:00) Well, that and his radio call to the pits: "There's something wrong with the car."

(56:19)  I wonder how it feels to be the pilot of the camera helicopter at a F1 race.  You get yourself all lined up, you put on max power as the F1 car comes off the hairpin... and it leaves you behind like you were standing still.  Must be kinda demoralizing.

(52:40) Looks like Vettel, Hamilton and Slappy are playing a game of "who's got the bigger one."  One sets fast lap, then one of the others come along and kick it over. 

(51:07)  Case in point: Hamilton just kicked Vettel in the shins, taking fast lap honors by a half-second, despite smoking his tires like they had been coated in gasoline.

(49:50) Paul di Resta's thoughts: "Note to self: F1 cars drift very very poorly"  Force India pit wall's thoughts: "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

(47:45)  Still no zeppelin sighting.  I fear the worst.

(46:49)  If you had 43 minutes, 11 seconds in the HRT Breakdown Time pool, please claim your winnings at the front desk.

No word on what caused it yet, but I think "Being a HRT" is cause enough.

(42:50) @GreyDuck, that's what the practice sessions are for, to get the kinks out.  Of course, sometimes that isn't entirely possible *coughHRTcough*.

(40:40) The FIA reports "no rain for the rest of the session."  Teams up and down the pit lane immediately begin reaching for their umbrellas.

(37:45)  I wonder if Pete Rose is regretting his decision to purchase a drive with HRT today.  His mechanic: "We can lower the ride height, that should help with the grip levels.  Does it feel like there's no rear grip at all?"  Rose: "You can put a mechanic on the back, too."  At least that's what it sounded like he said.  Snark, thy name is Pedro de la Rosa.

(34:44) HWMNBN just turned in the 15th fastest lap of the day, only 1.5 seconds off the fast lap time.  Which is better than his previous lap, some 10 seconds slower.

(33:20)  Now I'm curious why that press photographer had a "no dogs" sticker on his very long camera lens.

(31:50) Felipe Massa has elected a Pope.

Actually, that's been happening a lot today, and not just to lesser drivers.  Is it just because it's first practice?  Or is there some odd conflict betwixt the tires and the Malaysian asphalt?  Probably the former.

(27:35) Sergio Perez is standing in the garage, looking like he's about to die of heatstroke.  To be fair, Malaysia's weather is pretty miserable right now: 85 and ridiculously humid... and driving a F1 car isn't exactly the least fairly strenuous activity in the world.

(24:48) Why is it that every time Vitaly Petrov takes to the track, I hear the song "I'm a danger to myself and others" in my head?

(20:20) Pete Rose just successfully completed a lap without his HRT bursting into flame, shedding the majority of its bodywork, ingesting wildlife, or crashing headlong into the Pacific Ocean.  WIN!

(17:14) Lettuce Grosjean is serving notice that either he's pretty darn good or the Renault Lotus is pretty darn good... or both.  He's got the 5th fastest lap.  Considering what he was doing the last time we saw him in F1, I'm agog.

(15:10)  Ladies and Gentlemen, with Sharle ToothPic completing his first run of the day, we have now had all 24 cars turn timed laps.  Tooth's time was 10.58 seconds slower than the fast lap, and 24th.  Could we have a 20-car field this time around?

(11:39) I finished the novel Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter earlier tonight.  Pretty okay, to be honest.  I can't believe the forthcoming movie is going to be anything better than awful, though.  Why no, there isn't much going on at the Sepang International Circuit, why do you ask?

(6:40) Mumbles will have to learn that he's no longer a Finnish rally car driver, otherwise he'll find that his F1 car isn't as sturdy as those vehicles very quickly.

(0:00) Not with a bang, but a whimper.

(POST-SESSION) Mark Webber is on a flyer, but he's some three seconds off the pace.  Red Bull must be doing some fuel runs or tire wear experiments with him this session.  He's ended up 6th, while Hamilton's fast lap held up.

So what did we learn from this?  Nothing except for very broad strokes: McLaren good, HRT bad, that sort of stuff.  I'll see you on Saturday for Quals unless something important occurs during P2. Thanks for reading along!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:51 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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