I've seen the first two knockouts (it's 3am here; watched some anime with a friend tonight), and two interesting things:

1) Yuji Ide's SuperbestFriends (thanks, Steve Matchett) car was on display for THREE YEARS in the Melbourne airport before this race; and

2) Some Ferrari crewmember is going to be missing his posterior.
"Hey, Bob?"
"Yeah, Stan?"
"Have you seen blower #2?"
*crunchbumpbumpshattersnapcrunch*
"Never mind."

I'll watch Q3 once I wake up; more later!

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"Okay, did you hit something, mate?"
Christijan Albers: "Yeah, I think I hit something... the wall."
(from Midlands team radio)

"These are not tractors."
(Bob Varsha, SPEED announcer, as another car took to the grass)

"Here's Yuji Ide, in his SuperAguri."
"AKA Arrows... aka slow."
(Steve Matchett & David Hobbes, SPEED announcers)

"Vrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"
(David Hobbes, SPEED announcer, trying to make us think SuperAguri is fast)

"Does anybody else think the Australia course looks like the world's largest slot-car track?"
(Scooter T. Wonderduck)

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:28 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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MINARDI is coming back!!!

Paul Stoddard, aka "Guido Minardi" here at The Pond, has applied for a team in 2008, and it will be called "European Minardi."

We here at F1 Update! are all aquiver.

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'Ello, mate! I'm Bruce, and this here's the schedule for the Aussie GP on SPEED this week!

Thursday, March 30th from 9p-10p, we've got Formula One Practice LIVE! Finally, something F1-related at a decent time!

Friday, March 31 from 11p-1230a, we get Formula One Qualifying from Australia, once again LIVE!

THEN, the piece of resistance! Throw a shrimp on the barbie, grab yerself a Fosters, and watch the Australian Grand Prix LIVE on Saturday, April 1st at 930pm until midnight!

If'n that's too late for you (must be Belgian), you can watch the race again on Sunday, April 2nd, at 1130am until 2pm!

Of course, it's better if you're actually here. We've cleaned up Albert Park. We've got the 'Roos out of the paddock. We've even gotten the koalas off the refueling rigs. So where the bloody hell are you?

Posted by: Wonderduck at 12:24 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 'Ello, Bruce! I'll be watching all the goings-on from my roo-free living room.

Interesting how Australia.com uses cuss words in their advertising. Are they that desperate for tourism?

Posted by: SkarTisu at March 28, 2006 05:33 PM (g/Pq4)

2 'Ello Bruce! It's a great ad series, but it HAS caused some controversy. For a while, I guess it was only able to be shown after 10pm on the BBC. In Canada it was banned altogether for a time. (or did I reverse those?)

The best story about it, though, is in Japan... there isn't an accurate way to translate "Where the bloody hell are you" in japanese, because they don't have the words for it. Oops.

Posted by: Wonderduck at March 28, 2006 07:15 PM (wZLWV)

3 For Belgians and us Europeans (as long as they are watching ITV in Britain that is) the timings are:
Saturday 03:30 ITV1 Qualifying (LIVE)
Saturday 13:40 ITV1 Qualifying Repeat
Sunday 04:00 ITV1 Race (LIVE)
Sunday 13:05 ITV1 Race repeat
Monday 00:15 ITV1 Race Highlights

I will be putting the race on my thing wot is like a tivo and watching it the second I wake up, like I did with Malaysia. What I will not be doing is turning on the radio as I brush my teeth beforehand, and finding out who won before I could dive across the bathroom to turn it off, shouting "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" in a 'nam film style.

Posted by: flotsky at March 28, 2006 07:25 PM (6T2ID)

4 Unfortunately for us here in the States, we don't have to worry about that sort of thing... F1 isn't covered at ALL on the TV, save for Speedchannel. Forget completely about radio.

Not that I haven't tried. I've called into some sports-talk shows, and the producers have all said "Formula 1 racing? You've got to be kidding, right?"

Posted by: Wonderduck at March 28, 2006 08:32 PM (wZLWV)

5 Actually, I take that back. They did welcome my call once... when Darth Bernie made those incredibly asinine comments about Danica Patrick and women in motorsports.

Posted by: Wonderduck at March 28, 2006 08:34 PM (wZLWV)

6 Yep, we do really well for coverage here, you have to remember ITV is the commercial rival to BBC, so it is on an NBC/CBS/ABC scale in UK terms, and they are showing the races live whenever they happen, clearly their schedules as appropriate.

What used to be really good though as well was when Eurosport and DSF (a German language sports channel) used to show F1 live as well, so you could switch over during the ad breaks, or as often happened for me, when I got too fed up with Murray Walker I could change over for the whole race. I've been known to watch whole races in German (and I speak almost no German at all) rather than listen to Murray.

Speaking of annoying commentators, I was watching a little NASCAR the other night. I've heard it plenty of times before, but what the hell does "boogedyboogedyboogedy" mean? The most redneck of all the commentators seems to shout it when the green flag drops on the first lap.

Posted by: flotsky at March 28, 2006 10:01 PM (6T2ID)

7 "boogedyboogedyboogedy" is the brain(?)child of Darrell Waltrip. Former NASCAR Winston Cup Champion, modern day commentator and Craftsman Truck Series truck owner.

Think of "boogedyboogedyboogedy" like a Tourret's sufferer's outburst when the green flag drops. It's something along those lines.

Can't stand Murray Walker? Gee, I can't see why.

Posted by: SkarTisu at March 29, 2006 05:37 AM (g/Pq4)

8 It is best not to start me on the topic of Murray Walker, but to keep it brief, I found him pointless and annoying when I was 7, as I seemed to have a better understanding of the on-track action (rather than the technical side) at that point in my life. Twenty years later, he was REALLY annoying.

Posted by: flotsky at March 29, 2006 07:12 PM (6T2ID)

9 I end this sermon today with the Words from the Book of Waltrip, verse #11: 'It is time for Us to go forth and race. Boogity. Boogity. And a third time, Boogity.'

From "In The Church Of Speed" located at http://wonderduck.mu.nu/archives/120264.php

STILL one of my favorite posts.

Posted by: Wonderduck at March 30, 2006 07:40 PM (y6n8O)

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If you're here in the US, you're certainly aware of what happened yesterday at the IRL race in Homestead, FL. There's even a good chance that if you're one of The Pond's overseas readers, you know about it.

I'm talking, of course, of the accident that killed IRL rookie Paul Dana. It's been a long time since I've seen a crash as frightening as this one; the Stan Fox crash at the Indy 500 in 1995 is the only one that I've watched that comes close, and Fox survived that one (sadly he was killed in 2000 in a traffic accident; for what it's worth, he's also one of two 'big name' drivers that I've met, with the other being Danica Patrick. They are both from the vicinty of The Pond).

After having seen the video of the Homestead wreck, I'm surprised both drivers weren't killed; another few inches forward and I'm sure that would have been the case. We here at The Pond won't point fingers; we have no idea who's fault the accident was, no way of finding out, and no real interest in doing so.

Instead, it's important to note that Dana died doing something that he loved, and that he worked hard to attain. He graduated from Northwestern University in Evanston, IL, with a journalism degree, and wrote about motorsports for a few years. Then he got a chance to drive, and took it, eventually running three IRL races last year before breaking his back during practice for the 2005 Indy 500. He had a grueling recovery, and got back into the car with Rahal/Letterman racing this year (teaming with the previously mentioned Patrick).

He was a few weeks short of his 31st birthday.

The condolences of The Pond go out to his wife and family, the Rahal/Letterman team, the IRL in general, and any of his fans.

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Okay, here you go... the end of your productive time online. Go to BATracer, register, enter a league, and have at it.

I'm in one, my teammate Matthew and I have managed to take our Toro Rosso cars to the front of the grid with the first race coming up on Friday (and we're turning quickest laps in pre-race practice).

Trust me.

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1 I don't know which is worse, the fact that I was hooked and saw the point after about 2.34 minutes, or the fact that I am racing for Midlands...

Posted by: flotsky at March 23, 2006 08:40 PM (6T2ID)

2 Hey, I'm racing for the Team That Was Minardi... you think I feel good about that? :-)

What session number are you in? It'd be just my luck to discover that you're in the same one as me...

Posted by: wonderduck at March 24, 2006 02:56 AM (+rGmJ)

3 Hey, thanks for introducing me to this. I didn't want to accomplish anything else in my day-to-day life anymore, anyway.



I'm in race F1 2006 #348. Sitting in a Honda. Finished up 11th in practice after goofing up the last two practice runs. Teammate's sitting in 17th. Qualifying starts in a few hours, and I have a setup and quali strategy loaded up and ready to go.

This is going to be bad for me. Very, very bad.

Posted by: SkarTisu at March 24, 2006 09:31 PM (g/Pq4)

4 Yeah, I know what you mean. We're a few hours away from the Sepang race in mine, I'm on pole after finishing 2nd in Bahrain... my teammate is 2nd on the grid.

IN A TORO FRICKIN' ROSSO!!!

It's all about testing.

Posted by: Wonderduck at March 26, 2006 03:53 AM (wZLWV)

5 I qualified 5th and finished 2nd at Bahrain, which was a pleasant surprise. Practice at Malaysia is monsoon, and qual is expected to be dry. Bleah. Throw the dice on a qual setup!

My teammate finished 21st at Bahrain. LOL

Posted by: SkarTisu at March 26, 2006 12:42 PM (g/Pq4)

6 We will draw a veil over my performances. I am blaming my engine at the moment.

Posted by: flotsky at March 26, 2006 07:33 PM (6T2ID)

7 Two races, one pole, twice I've finished second. Who's the duck?

Posted by: wonderduck at March 27, 2006 02:34 AM (y6n8O)

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Well. Due to a bit of back-room skullduggery, Ferrari is now admitting that they "misunderstood" the regulations regarding their moving rear wing, and it will be changed by Australia. It seems that eight of the other teams threatened to scream to the high heavens if a change wasn't made, and Ferrari caved (I'd assume that the two Crimson Steer teams weren't involved).

So much for "We haven't been approached by the scruitineers, so there's no problem," eh?

But it suddenly comes out that McLaren and BMW have to make changes, as well. Please note, there had been no complaints levied against them... I'm assuming this is the FIA's way of mollifying Ferrari's tifosi hordes. "Ferrari might have made a 'mistake,' but see, two other teams did, too!"

Uh-huh. Sure.

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1 And this is all BEFORE Bernie invests in Ferrari. Just wait until his money is in, and a blind eye is turned to the twin jet engines Jean Todt demands to have "secretly" fitted to each car.

Oh and keep it quiet, I may be starting a wrestling blog soon. I know

Posted by: flotsky at March 21, 2006 01:58 PM (Dl1rW)

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Okay, I don't have much time to comment, but it's an amazing grid this time. Fisichella's Renault is on pole, with Button at P2.

The surprising bit is that the Williams boys are 3-4, with Rosberg beating his partner! Rookie rookie...

The big names are sitting in the middle of the grid, and that's probably where the winner is going to come from, but there's the problem of engine reliablity... there are FIVE cars that have new engines, with Slappy and Ralf being the latest additions. Heck, Massa will be starting from the pit lane.

Fun race coming up today, see ya on the far side of it!

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Okay, so this is just a heads-up for my hordes of readers. Currently over at Duck U. there's a special series of events ongoing that I, in my guise of Acting Manager of the Duck U. Bookstore, must be at as we're in charge of the merchandise sales.

As an example of what my schedule is like right now, I went to work at 810am, and got home at 1045pm.

Tomorrow may be slightly better, but it may not as well. Chances are that I won't get a chance to watch practice and quals until Saturday afternoon Central Standard Pond Time... or about 12 hours before the race, roughly.

Rest assured, however: the F1 UPDATE! crew will be on the ball, and should have Malaysia's report up on Sunday afternoon. I'm hoping to be home in time from Saturday's event to catch the race live.

Thanks for understanding! Consider this an open thread for your enjoyment in the meantime.

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1 Life's for sissies, anyway.

Gotta love Speed Channel's producers. Using a Big Daddy Kane tune during the practice show was a great touch!

Posted by: SkarTisu at March 16, 2006 07:22 PM (hlgpz)

2 Hey, did anyone see that report on the idiot who trashed a $1m Zonda in Califonia?
While racing a Merc after a party @125mph, became airborne, went up a hill into a powerline pole, ripped the car in two totally removing the engine - when police arrived on the scene one person was alone sat in the passenger seat, when they ask him if had been the driver he said "No, it was this German guy called Friedrick who seems to have run off".

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/03/16/national/main1409832.shtml

I bet it was Bernie

Posted by: Simon at March 17, 2006 04:41 PM (ntCeu)

3 Simon, I know a fair bit about this. The owner of car who claimed he wasn't driving is an exec for Gizmondo, which was supposed to be a rival to the Playstation Portable and the like. The company is going bust in a bad way, lot of people seem to have lost money. Some of the execs are supposed to have ties to the Swedish Mafia (!), and the whole thing seems well dodgy. Have a bit of a dig about it, its all very interesting.

Posted by: flotsky at March 18, 2006 01:01 AM (Dl1rW)

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Well, really, one note, one rant, and a hello.

First up, it appears that we can add Felipe (Castrato) Massa to the list of people who are probably going to have to change an engine before Sepang. Seems the good folks at Maranello are thinking that he ran it into the ground trying to recover from last week's Moooooo-ve of the Week. Funny how that works.

Over at grandprix.com, they currently have an article about Darth Ecclestone and the fact that he's considering buying into Ferrari.

*pause*

*deep breath*

What in the bloody BLUE HELL would make him think that's a GOOD FRICKIN' IDEA?!?!?!? I wonder if he can even SAY "impartiality" or "good sense" or "collusion." It may not be quite as bad as the Commissioner of Baseball owning a MLB team (oh, wait, I forgot, he 'sold his interest' to his daughter cough cough), but it's getting there.

Heck, why not? Go ahead, Bernie! It's pretty darn clear that you already suck up to Slappy's Gang, may as well make it official... just go all 'Brokeback' at the start/finish line of Sepang why don't you? Lord knows you've been doing it to US for years.

And welcome aboard to new commenter SkarTisu, by the way! This brings the readership levels to a new high!

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1 Hmmmm. I'm trying to think of why Bernie would buy into Ferrari. I do know that he could potentially be sidelined in F1 management soon if the buyout of the series by the people who own MotoGP goes through (I've heard about this, but I cannot remember any of the names, it is early). So it could be his way of keeping involved.

However, I suspect he has darker purpose. He wants to obtain an object he cannot have, an item that brings great fortune and power to those who wear it. I am of course talking about Jean Todt's sweater. Jean's mysterious ability to wear this in 100 degree heat has proved its power, and Bernie wants all that for himself.

Posted by: flotsky at March 15, 2006 08:43 PM (6T2ID)

2 If the CVC buyout goes ahead Bernie will still be in charge, but only a minority shareholder.

Posted by: Don Speekingleesh at March 15, 2006 09:12 PM (/m3oy)

3 I just had a sneaking suspicion that if CVC had any sense, they would sideline him completely. It has always been run in the past to solely favour one person i.e. Bernie.

Posted by: flotsky at March 15, 2006 11:07 PM (6T2ID)

4 Thanks for the welcome, Wonderduck! Great to be here.

I wonder if the tape on Todt's fingers is really used to focus the power of The Sweater somehow. Or to stop Todt from getting too concentrated an exposure to its power.

Bernie buying into Ferrari? More like Bernie giving some of the money back that Ferrari's given him for "favorable dispensation" in the past.

I don't know about you guys, but I was morbidly thrilled to see Ferrari falter so badly last year. *evil grin*

Posted by: SkarTisu at March 16, 2006 05:26 AM (hlgpz)

5 If you take "morbidly" out of the sentence, that about covers how I felt about Ferrari peeing the season down their leg...

Posted by: Wonderduck at March 16, 2006 05:11 PM (Ffvoi)

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Okay, gather 'round and listen to your ol' Unka Duck tell you some bits and pieces of news from the fallout of Bahrain...

First off, Ferrari is catching some flak for their rear wing. It (appears) that it (seems) to (perhaps) flex at speed, which is against the FIA regulations. Of course, the Boys in Red say "no, no, the FIA looked at it and it's hunky-dory." The Max Mosley puppet on Jean Todt's lap just nodded and agreed. Stay tuned for nothing to come of this, because, y'know, it's FERRARI.

Next up, we've got TWO engine changes going into Sepang. #1 is David Coulthard's Chin's Crimson Steer. We just barely saw a flash of his car being pushed off-track after the race ended. It turns out that because of WHEN it blew (just after the checkered flag fell), he's going to catch a 10-spot penalty. If it had blown a minute earlier, BEFORE the end of the race, there'd be no penalty (as that's considered penalty enough). Bad news for The Chin.

#2 MAY be Juan Pablo Montoya. Turns out his fifth-place finish may was caused by a computer/engine interface problem. The engine lasted the race, obviously, but if McLaren can't figure out the problem, they'll have no choice but to change it out. 50-50, coin-flip and pick 'em.

Finally, there may be TWO races in Japan next year. The Japanese Grand Prix is going to be held at Toyota's Fuji Speedway, the first time since 1987 it'll be held somewhere else than Honda's Suzuka circuit. However, talks are ongoing for Suzuka to host another race, perhaps called the Pacific GP or the Asian GP.

I'm sure you're wondering just WHY there'd be a second race in Japan. That'd bring the number of races in the season up to 20, since Spa-Francorpants will be back on the docket. Well, there's talk that Hockenheim will quit Grand Prix in either 2007 or 2008 unless they stop losing money. Yeesh.

Okay, that's enough talk. You kids get off my lawn!

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No rest for the Circus this week. They've loaded their cars into the shipping containers, stuck 'em on a freighter, and sailed them across the Arabian Sea and past the Bay of Bengal to Malaysia.

Except for MF1. They stuck their cars on THIS and pretended to sail to Madagascar. Nobody's quite sure why. Albers was probably getting driving practice.

AAAAAAnnnyway... because it's another raceweek, that means SPEED Channel is carrying everything live again! Lets look, shall we?

Thursday, March 16th, from 1159pm to 1am, we've got LIVE coverage of Practice from Sepang. No replay, though.

Friday, 3/17, from 1130pm to 1159pm, we get "Inside Formula 1," (brought to you by Allianz: We Have Something To Do With Other Stuff.). From 1159pm to 130am, we get LIVE coverage of Qualifying. No replay, though... what's up with that?

Sunday, 3/19 brings us the race from Sepang twice! First, from 1230am to 3am we get the race LIVE! The replay is from 1130am to 2pm.

As usual, all times are Central. Add one hour for Eastern, subtract two for Pacific, add snickerwaffle hours for Wales.

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Okay, right, sorry it took me so long to get this up (almost 19 hours after the qualification runs ended), but life got in the way. Oh well.

Where the HECK did Ferrari come from? Congratulations to Michael Schumacher, by all means, for tying the pole record of the late Ayrton Senna. The question now is 'were they on a light fuel load?' We'll see in the race, of course, but for now, it's Ferrari one-two, with Felipe Massa right alongside of Slappy.

Button and Alonso make up the 2nd row, with Montoya and Button's teammate Rubens Barrichello on row 3. Webber, Klein, Fisichella and Heidfeld make up the rest of the top 10.

The new quals format seems like a winner, but I've got to say that at the moment, it's incredibly difficult to keep track of who's where on the grid at any given time. I think it's because of the FIA's graphics package, to be honest... they aren't giving us enough information. The scrolling bar is nice, but it just wasn't on-screen enough. When it WAS on-screen, it wasn't there at the right times. We need it more, and later, I think.

Jack Newhouse was the last to be bumped, and starts 11th, right behind his BMW partner. Considering this was their first race, BMW's pitbox has got to be pleased. Nico Rosburg managed to slot in 12th, a nice job by the rookie right up until he managed to stick the back end of his car into a tirewall. David Coulthard's Chin is 13th, which has got to be a disappointment for him.

However, the biggest disappointment has got to be in the Toyota camp. The best they could come up with is 14th with Jarno Trulli? Yeesh. The two Toro Lawnmowers come up next with Liuzzi beating American Scott Speed for 15th. THEN come the rest of the Toyota-powered cars, with Cora's Husband Ralf leading the two MF1 entries of Albers and Montiero onto the grid.

Finally our heroes from Super Aguri, Suicide Sato and Yuji Ide, in their 4-year old Arrows cars, taking 20th and 21st.

Which brings us to the dramatic moment of the day, and has got to be causing Kimi Raikkonen to spit nails. He was on a hotlap in the first qualifying segment when... well, SOMETHING broke. Whatever that something was, it caused his rear wing to come free, his car to hork itself around, and his rear suspension to snap like a twig. Yeesh, the luck this man has... though one has to start wondering: is it just bad luck, or is it Kimi driving the car into the ground? Last year, I would have just said "bad luck," but after all the crepe he went through in 2005, and now this... well, I'm starting to wonder if he'd be better suited for something less fragile than a F1 machine.

Like the Craftsman Truck series.

Still and all, it's time to go racing! See you on the far side of Bahrain!

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Okay, so for once we get a Friday Practice session that actually means something! For the first time, we get to see how the cars perform with the new V8 engines, the new aero rules, the new tire rules, the new drivers, and the new paintjobs (can't forget about those).

And, as predicted here two months ago, we discover that the detuned and rev-limited V10 of Toro Rassenfrassen isn't much of a handicap, as Vitantonio Liuzzi managed to turn in the 6th best time... which led to speculation amongst the Legendary Announce Team that the FIA will decide to handicap the engine even more. Which made me wonder why the team is even bothering to race; the FIA'd be basically telling them "we won't let you win with that engine."

Also a non-surprise: Kimi Raikkonnen's car ended up dead on the track, as happened SO often last year. Doesn't look like he's going to have to change the engine, though (at least when this is being written). He did have a small fire in the cockpit, which can't have helped his mood much.

Surprises include Ferrari, which was near the top of the leaderboard all day, and Williams, which wasn't. In fact, the Cosworth-powered car looked decidedly sluggish during the few laps they did turn.

Another surprise: I LIKE the sound of the new V8 engine. I was expecting something high-pitched, nasally, and whiny. Instead, there was a pleasing growl to the beast. Not as deep as last year, but I guess we can't have everything.

Oh, and the use of V8s to slow the cars? Didn't happen: the top lap time was within a second or two of the track records. So much for that.

New-rules qualifying session on Saturday... looking forward to it!

Boy, it's good to be back.

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(Wonderduck here. Official Travelling Correspondant Simon chimed in a couple of times in comments, and I'm going to take the liberty of turning one of them into a post, here on the verge of the Bahrain race. Unfortunately, it seems that his job assignment to Bahrain has fallen through, so we won't be getting on-site reporting for THIS one. He apparantly has a chance to attend Monaco, however, poor guy. Let's all feel sorry for him now. Awww.

Okay, over to Simon...)

Takuma Sato....

Come on lets have a laugh...
1. Will he survive or die this season?
2. Will he kill someone else?
3. How many races will he actually complete?
4. How many crashes will he have?
5. How many other cars will he take out throughout the entire season?
6. Cars are valued between $4-8 million each - What do you think the net value of his carnage be this season?

(Wonderduck here again. My responses are as follows:
1) Survive, but SOMEONE will try to kill him after yet another shunt.
2) No. Cars are built too strongly. But it won't be for lack of trying...
3) Eight... but some of his problems WON'T be because of accidents. New car + new team + new engines = Same Old Problems.
4) Including practice and quals? I'm guessing 12. I have faith.
5) Oooh, a toughy. Magic 8-ball says [shaking] 10.
6) Does the phrase "Small South-American Country" mean anything?

Everybody else, chime in in the comments! Winners will get a No-Prize at the end of the season, or when Sato is removed from his seat, or is unable to compete for any reason.)

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Renault will probably win the Constructor's Championship again.

McLaren will have the winner of the Driver's Championship, however.

The Crimson Steers will not have a driver on the podium. They will, however, be close (i.e. fourth or fifth).

Scuderia Toro Lawnmowero will be the 9th team, ahead of only MF1 and Super Aguri.

Honda will place third in the Constructor's Championship, and will have two wins to their credit. Jensen Button will get them both.

Toyota will NOT win a race. They also will not get on the podium. Ralf Schumacher will be kicked from the team at the end of the year.

Super Aguri will score points. Takuma Sato will earn them.

Speaking of Takuma Sato, he will have his first shunt within the first 10 laps at Bahrain. That's if he doesn't have his accident at the airport's rental car counter.

I will regret writing this post at some point in the season.

YOU regret READING this post already.

UPDATE
I don't know how I forgot about this, but there's a horde of tifosi outside of The Pond, and they've got torches. So, without further ado...

Ferrari will suck. Bad.

Slappy Schumacher will throw up on his tires. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Then he'll attack Takuma Sato, and end up impaled on a katana.

Felipe Massa's testicles will drop.

...and one more:

The Mark of Zsolt will return, and all of F1 will be afraid.

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How can you tell it's spring? Well, not by looking outside here at The Pond, that's for sure: we've gotten 4 inches of snow today. Cactus League baseball and Fifty degrees F. yesterday, to boot.

Ah, but inside The Pond... that's where you can tell it's spring. Why? Because this entry is the FIRST installment of F1 on SPEED for the season, that's why!

We start off on Friday, March 10th from 5am to 6am with Live Coverage of Practice from Bahrain. Then, from 430pm to 5pm we get Mr Snootyvoice and Inside Grand Prix (sponsored by Allianz, the company that does something...), which I encourage HWWNBNUHCOTP to watch.

Surprisingly, that's it for Friday. No replays... which is also the case on Saturday, March 11th as well. From 5am to 630am we have Live Qualifications from Bahrain, but no replay.

Sunday, March 12th, though... First, we get 5am to 730am, the Bahrain Grand Prix LIVE. Mal will bring the bagels.

Then Mr Snootyvoice returns with the same episode of Inside Grand Prix (sponsored by Allianz: We Still Don't Know What We Do.) from 11am to 1130am.

Then you get the replay of the Bahrain Grand Prix from 1130am to 2pm, and the season is off and running!!!

All times are Central, as that's where The Pond is. Subtract two hours if you're on the west coast, add one hour if you're on the east coast, and if you're in Europe, add eleventy-sprocket hours. Particularly Belgium.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 05:54 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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