May 24, 2016

F1 on TV: Monaco 2016

I've been in a horrible mood all day.  My apartment's been really hot recently (because it's been hot outside, duh), and doesn't cool off much at night, so sleep was both hard to come by and brief when experienced.  Then I kept trying to doze off at work, which is never a fun experience.  So I'm a grumpy ball of grump right now.

However, this weekend is the 2016 Monaco Grand Prix, and rain is predicted for the race, so that puts a different spin on things!  Here's the map for this legendary track:

Looks a little twisty, but nothing too bad, right?  Well, um... this is MONACO.  We're not talking about Barcalounger with its roomy runoff space, or Singapore with its wide, modern, streets.  No, we're talking about running high-tech racing machines at 180mph through what is, at its heart, a small French fishing village... to the point where the harbor is a major feature of the circuit.

In terms of actual racing, Monaco is usually pretty poor.  The narrow, twisty, decidedly unstraight lap doesn't much lend itself to such things as passing.  Further, the knowledge that a single tiny mistake of any sort will tend to send a car rapidly ping-ponging from barrier to barrier tends to make even the stoutest of drivers break into fits of eye twitching and nervous laughter. 

So the presence of a good chance of rain on raceday makes Wonderduck a giddy, giddy, waterfowl.  The fine folks of the Legendary Announce Team will be doing their usual level best for us, maybe even FROM Monaco itself (they've done that the past couple of years).  Here's the coverage:
Thursday
Practice 2: 7a - 9a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 7a - 9a live on NBCSN
Sunday
2016 Grand Prix of Monaco: 6a - 9a live on NBC

Nope, no typo there: Practice is on Thursday, not Friday, and the race itself is on NBC-the-mother-network, not any of the junior channels.  This way any of my readers with a TV can watch it!  Then you can make fun of the F1Update! later when it comes out.  As is usual, all times are approximately Pond Central time... check your local listings.  Post no bills.  Past performance is not indicative of future results.   Do not taunt happyfunball. 

And see ya there!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 08:10 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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May 14, 2016

F1 Quals: Spain 2016

A beeee-yootiful day greeted the Circus in Barcalounger, perfect weather to go fast in: sunny and warm.  Throw in the anticipated upgrades to the cars, and excitement was in the air... or are those the smells coming from the Stop 'n' Chicken booth?  Either way, we need to look at the provisional grid for the 2016 Grand Prix of Spain:

Pos. Driver Team Q1 Q2 Q3
1 Lewis Hamilton Mercedes 1:23.214 1:22.159 1:22.000
2 Nico Rosberg Mercedes 1:23.002 1:22.759 1:22.280
3 Smiley Ricciardo Red Bull Racing 1:23.749 1:23.585 1:22.680
4 Embryo Verstappen Red Bull Racing 1:23.578 1:23.178 1:23.087
5 Kimi Räikkönen Ferrari 1:23.796 1:23.504 1:23.113
6 Sebastian Vettel Ferrari 1:24.124 1:23.688 1:23.334
7 Valtteri Bottas Williams 1:24.251 1:24.023 1:23.522
8 Carlos Sainz Toro Rosso 1:24.496 1:24.077 1:23.643
9 Sergio Perez Force India 1:24.698 1:24.003 1:23.782
10 Fernando Alonso McLaren 1:24.578 1:24.192 1:23.981
11 Nico Hulkenberg Force India 1:24.463 1:24.203
12 Jenson Button McLaren 1:24.583 1:24.348
13 Kid Kvyat Toro Rosso 1:24.696 1:24.445
14 Lettuce Grosjean Haas 1:24.716 1:24.480
15 Kevin Magnussen Renault 1:24.669 1:24.625
16 Esteban! Haas 1:24.406 1:24.778
17 Jolyon Palmer Renault 1:24.903

18 Felipe Not Nasr Massa Williams 1:24.941

19 Sony Ericsson Sauber 1:25.202

20 Felipe Not Massa Nasr Sauber 1:25.579

21 Pascal's Wager Manor 1:25.745

22 Rio Rainbow Gate Manor 1:25.939


If Lewis Hamilton is going to make a run at points leader Nico Rosberg, this is where he needs to start, and Barcalounger's propensity of giving the win to the polesitter seems to bode well for the Brit.  The surprise isn't that he's on pole, though... it's that Ferrari isn't on the second row.  Instead, it's the new Red Bull combination of Smiley Ricciardo and Embryo Verstappen that poses the nearest "threat" to the Silver Arrows.

And yes, I said Verstappen is driving for Red Bull.  Earlier this week it was announced that Kid Kvyat was being moved to Toro Rosso, with The Embryo moving to the Grownup's Team.  Allegedly this was going to happen in 2017 anyway, but it seems much more likely to be due to Kvyat's ham-fisted mauling of Seb Vettel last race. 

In any case, I have my doubts as to whether Red Bull can mount a legit challenge to the Mercs, but I guess we'll see.  I suspect a Mercedes 1-2 is in the offing... oh wait.  That's almost every race, isn't it?

Haas seems poised for points again, with Lettuce is 14th.  Maybe the biggest shocker is Fernando Alonso dragging his McLaren kicking and screaming into Q3 for the first time since the team took on Honda engines.

Race is in the morning... see ya then!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:29 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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May 11, 2016

F1 ON NBCSN: Spain 2016

After four flyaway races that ranged from Melbourne to Sochi (a distance of some 8700 miles as the Speedbird flies, which it doesn't, at least not that route), the happy clowns of the F1 Circus find themselves home.  Well, "home" in that they're now in the European leg of the season and can now drive to the races.  Instead of packing everything tightly into the maw of a DHL 747 (well, multiple 747s if you're talking all the teams), the teams now pack everything tightly into their transporters, hospitality semis, personal cars, and luggage and drive to the track.  The ease of access to their home bases also means that this is where we start to see the upgrades appear... a new wing here, a replacement nose there, a new spec power unit someplace else, it's almost like a new season is beginning.  And where better to begin this new season at the track that everybody knows like the backs of their hands, the Circuit de Barcalounger-Catalunya?  Here's the map for the 2016 Grand Prix of Spain:

It used to be that the teams did so much testing here that they knew where every paint chip was missing on the curbs, where to find every hairline crack in the pavement, where every rise, ease, bump and dip was located.  Since they no longer run tens of thousands of kilometers here every offseason, that's only partially true now, but there's still very few tracks the teams know as well as Barcalounger.  It's as if it's part of the F1 DNA... unravel the double-helix, and you'll find one strand lays itself out as Silverstone, the other strand like Barca.

Because of that, it's rare that a race in Spain is any good: 13 of the past 15 have been won from pole, for instance.  There's just no surprises waiting to catch out an unsuspecting driver, because there's no such thing as an unsuspecting driver at Barca.  It's not even a bad layout, all things being equal, it's just hard to pass here.  Of course, DRS has made that less true than it has been, but 2015's race was notable for being remarkably dull, even by the standards of dull F1 races.  The only real excitement was the running over of two different front jackmen during pit stops (to be fair, brake failure caused one of the incidents... the other was caused by driver failure... to stop!  Ha!  I slay me!).

So why should we watch this race?  Well, reason one is that we're F1 fans and that's what we do.  Reason two is that Nico Rosberg is gunning for his eighth consecutive win and fifth in a row in-season... which, ohbytheway would move him equal to names like Brabham, Clark, Mansell and... oh, will you look at that, Hamilton!  A third reason would be to see how Haas adapts to the equipment upgrades. 

Of course the Legendary Announce Team will be doing their usual excellent work this weekend; here's the broadcast schedule for your edification:
Friday
Practice 2: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Sunday
2016 Grand Prix of Spain: 6a - 9a live on NBCSN

As always, all times Central Pond Time.  Doublecheck your schedules, just to be sure.  Subtract two hours for west coast, add one hour for east coast, and if you're onboard the ISS,well, you're on your own.  As is usual, the F1 Update! gang will be along sometime afterwards with their writeup of questionable quality.   See ya then.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 06:27 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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