(PRE-SESSION) Well, here we go, the season starts in earnest!  If you want to watch what I'm talking about tonight as it goes down, just follow this link.  It all should start at 830p Central Pond Time.  I say "should" because there were technical difficulties the last time I tried this.  There's a threat of rain during the Friday sessions down under, which is exactly what we don't want.  Rain is fun during Quals and the race itself, but during first practice?  It'll just make the teams keep their cars in the garage... because if you think about it, all you'll learn from running in the rain is how many pieces you can break your car into when you... say it with me... stick it in the wall, upside down and on fire.  As with the past liveblogging events, I'll be using the time remaining in the session as a reference.  If you see 1:15:00, that means there's 75 minutes left in the 90 minute session.  So settle into your seat, get the vegemite and koalaburgers handy, and let's get ready for the F1 season.

(1:30:00) Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a F1 season!  And the track is damp!

(1:25:00) Ferrari is first out on the circuit.

(1:23:00) We have our first off of the season!

Nico Rosberg, take your prize!

(1:19:36)  Slappy is on the course, but he's tiptoeing around the track.  Of course, that makes sense... wet surface, new car, yadda yadda.  If there's one person here, though, that should know this place, it's him.

(1:17:20) Melbourne goes silent.  This might be a good time to mention that we've got an US person back driving in the sport, at least theoretically.  American Alexander Rossi has signed with Lotus Caterham to be their third driver.  It's bad sport of me to hope that The Red Menace slips on some ice and breaks his leg, I know, but...

(1:14:34) Zeppelin!


(1:11:30)  We have a Toro Rosso sighting.  We now return you to our usual programming.  ZEPPELIN!

(1:10:18) Daniel Ricciardo in the Toro Rosso was... I dunno, he couldn't drive a straight line down the front straight.  I dunno if he was trying to get some heat in the tires, or if the car was just snaking on him.  Looked weird as heck, like his front alignment was off.

(1:07:38) And the world champion takes the field.  Just found another thing I don't like about the platypus... because the nose has that ridiculous dropoff, you actually can't see the front of the nose at all. 

Which makes telling the difference between the Toro Rosso and Red Bull cars awfully hard from the T-bar camera (TR has a gold nose, RB a yellow one, btw).

(1:02:32) HWMNBN rips off the first legit flying lap of the season, taking two seconds off the best time so far.

(59:05)  And we have our first yellow flag of the season!

Courtesy of HRT and Narain Kittylitter!  "The engine, it just shut down on its own."  "Okay, park it so we can come get you Narain."  Good to see they're in midseason form already.

(54:56)  Y'know, I dunno if they'll win anything this season, but the Mercedes is awful purty.  Looks and a good haircut can get you a long way in this world.  Just ask Sergio Perez.

(51:34)  Or Nico Rosberg.

(48:07) HWMNBN is looking awfully racey today.  Wonder what's gotten into him?  He isn't known for blowing people's doors off during practice sessions...  Oy!  Lost my entire broadband connection for a few minutes there.

(41:44)  Starting to see some rubber buildup in a few places.  Pirelli said they were going to be bringing the pain this season as far as tire degradation goes, but that's ridiculous.

(39:17)  Nobody on track, so the FIA cameras are gathering "B-roll" footage. 

Yeah, well, we don't think you're exciting either, lady.

(33:35)  Gandalf and Shadowfax just took FIVE SECONDS off the fastest lap.

I think I know who's on dry soft tires...

(31:12)  Mark Webber is now second... some three and a half seconds behind Gandalf.  Shadowfax must be feelin' his oats today.

(28:15)  Well, that didn't take long.  Webbo just bumped Gandalf by some small fraction of a second.  Ces't la Grand Prix.

(25:09)  I just realized... other than a few shots of Button and Hamilton in the garage, we haven't seen the McLarens at all.  That can't be good at all.

(23:44) Nico Rosberg must not have liked the joke... he's just taken fastest lap.

(21:26)  This is my worst nightmare.  SLAPPY has fast lap now.  Good lord, what will I do if he wins a race this season???

(19:37)  Hey look!  It's a McLaren!  Oh.  It's just Lewis turning an installation lap.  Or he's been given a drive-through penalty, one of the two.  Chances are about even either way.

(17:09)  Button turns an installation lap, bringing us this pointless but incredibly cool camera shot:


(14:39)  Massa beaches it!

Taken off by the crane, session over for him.  He said it "went light and just snapped sideways."

(9:23)  Yeah, that sitting in the garage was a real problem, good call Wonderduck:

Please note that Button's got fast lap, but Hamilton is third.  Sure, "that can't be good."  If anybody with some talent would like to take over the F1U! duties, please contact me.

(6:30) Sergio Perez might have to change his firesuit after the sideways moment he just had... looked like he was drifting, except with a lot less control.  Yeesh.

(5:11)  Mumbles Raikkonen has taken to the track for the first time in three years!  And maybe it's showing: he's 20th.  Still too early to tell, though... maybe it's the car, maybe he wasn't pushing particularly hard. 

(2:30)  Seb Vettel just got borked on a flying lap.  Or he's having a bad day.  Or both.

(0:00)  Button on top, followed by Hamilton, Slappy, HWMNBN, and Webbo'.  The last three are still on track.

(Post-0:00) HWMNBN, there's a change of firesuits waiting for you, too.  Coming off the last turn, he wound up fishtailing and nearly sideways for a hundred yards or so.  The top five stay in their positions.

So what have we learned today?  Well, that the McLarens are fairly quick, the Red Bulls have got to be sandbagging, and Wonderduck knows absolutely zero about F1.  But boy is it good to have it back!  See you for Quals, I'm thinking!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:19 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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