What? In WINTER??? Is That Even Possible?

I have to admit something to y'all... I'm sick. 

No, no, not that type of sick... I mean the illness type of sick.  A couple of weeks ago, I took a day off from work as a sort of mental health (shaddap you!) day; I was feeling somewhat stressed by life.  The holidays have never been my favorite time of the year, and with some stuff happening at work, I needed to hide away for a while.  So I did... and that Saturday night my chest started to feel a little tight.  I woke up Sunday morning with an abrasive cough.  By Monday morning, the cough was joined by a headache and indications that this was going to be ugly... but I had a more pressing issue: I was in training for claims processing on a new state.  I couldn't miss any of that... it was scheduled for three or four half-days, mornings.  So I gritted my teeth and made it through the entirety of Monday.  I wasn't swell, but I could work through it easily enough.  Or so I thought.

Monday night, all hell broke loose.  I'll spare you the details because this isn't that sort of blog, but it wasn't pretty, it kept me awake for hours longer than I should have been, and thankfully I always have an emergency pack of toilet paper stored in a closet.

And the cough had gotten worse to boot.  It had gone from a rasping thing to the biological equivalent of running piece of luon through a table-mounted router: loud, messy, and totally, epically, pointless. Tuesday's training was misery, both for myself and my fellow trainees.  Once it ended, I walked back to my desk, collected my stuff, talked briefly to my boss, and went home for the day.  I managed to make it through Wednesday and Thursday, finishing the training and working full days, though "death warmed over" makes it sound like there was a positive to be found in my condition somewhere.  And then came Friday.

I got up, got dressed, drove to work, and told my boss I was realistically too sick to be there.  When she (quite reasonably) asked why I didn't just call in, I didn't really have an answer except "I don't like to do that."  So I drove back home, crawled back into bed and slept until Sunday.  The cough changed from agonizing to productive, the headache wound down to tolerable levels, and all is right with the world.

Okay, no.  I'm still sick.  I still cough occasionally, I'm tired as hell, and while I feel okay to start the day, by the time work is done I'm miserable.  So, yeah, still sick.  The weather ain't helpin' none, neither.  The temperature is jumping up and down like a pogo stick, highs in the negatives one day, then highs in the 30s the next.  It's like my immune system tried as hard as it could, threw its metaphorical hands in the air and said "we're moving to someplace warm... like Hell.... as fast as possible."  So why am I telling you all of this? 

Gotta tell somebody, I guess.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 11:30 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Firefoxy, Yootoob, And Thou (Updated) (Updated again)

Earlier tonight, Firefoxy and Yootoob appeared to have a sort of snitfit with each other.  All of Yootoob's formatting went out the window, down a dozen stories and straight into the dumpster.  The dumpster was then set on fire by a guy named Sal using a half-dozen old tires, a jerrican of gasoline, a butane torch, and a hairdryer.  All the while, Firefoxy laughed and laughed and laughed, illuminated by the glow of the flames.

Even worse, the same thing happened on websites that embedded yootoob viddies.  Like, for example, Wonderduck's Pond and this post.  All was horror and trouble and everything had a toothache and dogs and cats living together.  But it was only yootoob, and it was only in Firefoxy.  Different browsers had no problem, different video sites played fine.  Updating Firefoxy didn't help, nor did the usual cache and cookie cleansing.  So what in tarnation was going on?

Some digging around hither and yon seemed to suggest that it wasn't, in fact, a problem with yootoob or Firefoxy at all, but with the AdBlockPlus add-on.  I was resigned to turning it off for yootoob and going through the hell of their ads once again... which would probably drive me back to smokin' and drinkin' and carryin' on.  Knowing how close the world was to a horrible fate, a couple of users over at reddit came up with a solution.  If you're having this problem, open ABP, go to exceptions, and add the following lines:

@@||s.ytimg.com/yts/cssbin/$stylesheet
@@||s.ytimg.com/yts/imgbin/

Voila!  Everything solved, even embeded videos play now!  Apparently, the problem extended into other browsers using ABP as well, so it should work with Opera, Chrome, etc, too.  So there.  That's fixed.  Everybody back on your heads!

UPDATE Friday 947am: A rep from ABP showed up in that reddit thread and says the culprit is the "Malware Domains filter".  If you disable that, yootoob is fixed.  As most people have multiple filters running, this shouldn't be a problem.  I turned off the two exceptions and the filter and everything is back to normal; indeed, it's a better fix than the two exceptions provided.  I've inquired as to what sort of timeframe we're looking at for the filter to be fixed... I'll let you know when I find out.

UPDATE Friday 402pm: As of right now, you need to actually press the "update" button on the Malware Domains filter.  Once you do that, the problem is fixed and you can reactivate the filter!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 11:59 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I Might Start Following Soccer

The Bundesliga is Germany's top-level soccer league... their version of the better known English Premiere League, I suppose.  However, they are the only league anywhere of any sort that have an official rubber duck race.  The 2015 season was the first, and the

Qualifying round from the Aquadome of Destiny.  That frog really shouldn't have been included... it's called the BunDucksLiga for a reason, after all.

The Duck Speedway also hosted the Final Round, which was a more exciting race than anything F1's given us in recent years.

I love how totally serious the announcer was, and the camerawork / on-screen graphics quality is top-notch.  Obviously the parent broadcaster must have been involved.  Mindblowing.

But wait, there's more... the next season was just announced, with a new twist!

I can't wait.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 11:08 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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That Was A Laugh I Needed Badly

The job has been kicking my asterisk something fierce of late.

I haven't been feeling all that swell, thanks to the weather we've been having.  I've got a nagging ache in my right index finger from when I slipped in the bathtub and jammed it into a broken towel rack trying (successfully) to keep myself from wiping out... the middle knuckle just hurts after a short time on the computer, which in my line of work is something of a Very Bad Thing. 

And then when I came home tonight, I managed to get the Duckmobile stuck in what looked like a perfectly clear parking space here at Pond Central.  Perfectly clear... except for the patch of ice that was located directly under where the front tires ended up.  Did I mention that the Duckmobile is front-wheel drive?  Needed a neighbor to give me a shove, but only after a half-hour of scraping and shoveling ALL the residual snow and ice from the spot and getting (literally) nowhere.

So what I'm saying is that I was in a murderous sort of mood when I got home.  After doing all the usual stuff I do when I first get home, I hopped online to see if there was anything funny out there.  After a while spent getting pissed off because there wasn't, I somehow stumbled across this clip.

That's some impressive vocaling right there, particularly since, y'know, t'ree a 'em ain't singin' whutall they's use'ta singin'.  And yes, the humor isn't exactly "Steve Martin in the '70s" level, but what the hell, it made me laugh.

Maybe it'll do for you, too.

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The Alhazred & Miskatonic Railroad

"In his station at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits for passengers."

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So. 2016, Huh?

Thus far, I'm not overly impressed.  It's cold, it's windy, the food hasn't been very good and my finger hurts.  On the other hand, I went in to work today to make up some hours and there was literally nobody else in my office, and only three or four people from all offices total.  Which allowed me to sing along with my music if I so chose.  And lo, thus I chose to do!

On the gripping hand, anybody walking past my office is undoubtedly having a substantially worse 2016.

You all good?

Posted by: Wonderduck at 12:21 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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New Year's Eve 2015

In the grand scheme of things, I suppose 2015 would have to count as a wash.  It started out pretty badly, somehow managed to get even worse, then the metaphorical arrow began heading up.  Slowly, to be sure, but up.  Certainly things look brighter than they did at the end of 2014, for no other reason than I'm employed.  So the prospects for 2016 look promising, yes?  One can only hope so... I'm kinda tired of bad years.

Thank you all for another year of finding The Pond interesting enough to stick around.  You have no idea how much I appreciate it.  Without you folk, I'd just be talking to myself and you know what that means, right?  ("You have a bluetooth headset?"  Shut up.)

Have a happy new year!  It's funny hat time for all, and for all, a funny hat!

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Today, It Finally Happened.

As of today, December 25th in the year 2015 of the Gregorian Calendar, I, Wonderduck, have officially become an ADULT.  Because today, Christmas Day, I received some pairs of socks and some big bath sheet towels.

AND WAS HAPPY ABOUT IT!!!  Indeed, that was pretty much all I really asked for.

Because socks are useful.  And bigmclargehuge fluffy towels are great.  Also office supplies.  And a jar of lingonberry.

See?  Adult.  Grownup.  Me.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch a japanese cartoon about Santa Claus.

Merry Christmas again!

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Well. THAT Was A Day.

It was sixty degrees today, the highest high ever for this day in Duckford history.  We also had a half-inch of rain fall, mostly when I was walking from my spot in the parking lot to the office.  Now we're getting 60mph wind gusts.  I love winter in Illinois... I just wish it was, y'know, happening this year.

At work, I can honestly say that the claims kicked my ass all day.  Twerent none of 'em what went down easy.  It felt like every one of them had something wrong with it, as opposed to being of the "three key presses, two mouse clicks and get paid" variety.  It isn't really that simple, but I'm not exaggerating by all that much.  It's nowhere near as intimidating as it used to be... mostly.  When you have a claim for $60000 hit your screen and you know that every auditor between here and the home office in Texas is just dying to find the teeniest mistake and doom you to a lower tax bracket forever, it can be a little stressful. 

When a claim enters your queue, it's supposed to be all set and ready to be processed.  Today, though... today was apparently Drive Wonderduck To Drink day.  Literally a quarter of the 200 or so claims I worked today didn't have the name of the doctor or the organization he bills through listed correctly.  Sometimes you can fix that... the computer isn't so smart that it can pick out the right organization when the doc works with, like, eight different places.  Think I'm exaggerating?  Doctor's own office.  The hospital he works with.  Two different hospital-associated clinics: one pediatric, one adult.  His office might have a clinic as well.  The doc's specialty practice.  The partnership he has with another doc.  Then the Urgent Care place people go to when they can't get appointments with their "real" doctor.  That's eight right there, and while they're all the same doctor, he might be billing to any of them at any time... fortunately each of them has a separate ID number.  In theory.  That's where the computer falls over and we have to come in and fix the mess.

Except when we can't, because sometimes a doctor was hired by an Urgent Care two months ago and is only now getting around to sending us the bills for his patients.  And gosh, lookit that, we have no record that Dr Smith works at that place!  So away goes those claims to the home office to deal with... hopefully we'll get them back at some point, after Dr Smith has been added to the rolls. 

Imagine beating your head against a wall.  It's kinda like that, except the wall is covered with broken glass, razor blades, and that stupid hot mustard Chinese places serve for you to dip your egg rolls in.  Each one of those takes time and doesn't pay you anything.  Bah.

Oh, and I discovered that I had been looking at the wrong Holiday Days Off list, too!  I had been looking at the one for the other branch of our business, the collections folk based in Colorado or somewhere like that, and they get Christmas Eve off.  Me, I have to be in tomorrow.  Well, shucks.

It could be a lot worse, though.  I stopped at the Walgreens near the office to pick up my monthly batch of Keep Wonderduck Alive pills on the way home tonight.  That's the Walgreens that's a block away from the Big Shopping Mall in the area.  The place was packed with Crazy... and that's just a drugstore near the mall.  What must the mall itself be like?  I know not, nor wish I to know.  I've done my time in Hell after all, and to that place I intend to never return.  If I'm lucky.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 11:28 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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At Last, Closure.

Duckford is many things, but "large" would not be considered one of them.  However, many people would consider that a feature, not a bug, and whatever else, it's still a city of respectable size.  What I'm saying is that just bumping into someone randomly must be considered quite unlikely.  Throw in my hermitish tendencies and all in all, bumping into one of my old employees from the Duck U Bookstore must be in the "ridiculously low" category.

This past Sunday, I had brunch with Ph.Duck and RN(ret)Duck at a place that falls into the category of "Duckford Original", the Stockholm Syndrome Inn.  Try the swedish pancakes!  Feel your arteries clog like someone poured fast-setting concrete into 'em!  Make sure you apply liberal amounts of lingonberry because oh my.  Please note that I'm not a huge fan of swedish pancakes, but I'm probably the only person in Duckford that's true for.  Me, I had a stack of regular pancakes and a hashbrown-like thing with cheese and onion.

As we were all nomming away, catching up on our adventures (or lack thereof) over the past while, I suddenly heard someone saying "I thought that sounded like you, Wonderduck!"  I immediately scanned the area for escape routes, cursing myself for letting down my guard.  Turning my head towards the voice, I found myself facing one of the three employees that I had on staff when my Bookstore Management career came to a screeching halt.  We'll call her Betty because that's not her name.  She was still working at the Duck U Bookstore, and we began catching up... it had been 18 months since I last saw her, after all.  Eventually I asked how THAT fall semester went after I was gone.  Turns out there were some problems, as expected... and I'm willing to believe that at least some of them were because I wasn't there anymore because, y'know, 10 years and stuff, and I'm willing to delude myself. 

But none of the problems Betty told me about had to do with textbook acquisition.  THAT part, at least, went smooth as butter on silk.  Hearing that bit of information made me feel pretty darn good... I may have been unceremoniously kicked to the curb, but I'll be damned if it was because of poor performance.  I also heard that they finally got spiral notebooks and folders with the school's new name on 'em... some two-plus years after the change from "college" to "university" occurred, and over three years since the announcement was made... at which point, I immediately began trying to get things with the new name.  See?  Not my fault, and screw anybody who thought it was. 

But I can finally say that I know that when I got canned, the store was in good shape.  It wasn't perfect, but it wasn't for lack of trying... and I can finally close the book on that substantial bit of my life.  And good riddance.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 11:55 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Working! No, Really!

I'm slowly beavering away on the whole blogging thing.  Soon, I hope to be back into the groove and start generating fun and entertaining posts again.

No, really!  Why are you laughing?  Stop that this instant!

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Why Didn't Anybody Tell Me???

Holy crepe, it's almost Christmas.  When did that happen?

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Quokka!

Quokka!

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Sleep Is For The Weak. And The Tired.

I fall into both categories right now, after having two horrendously stressful days at work and very vivid nightmares two of the past three nights.  Technically, the fact that I had nightmares meant that I also slept, but I'll be darned if you could prove it by me.

I kept nearly dozing off in front of the computer at work today.  As that's the one sure way to get yourself fired, this is A Very Bad Thing.  So, to prevent that from occurring tomorrow, I am going to take a nap now.  "But Wonderduck," you say... nope, I'm not gonna throw in anything here like I usually do, gotta keep y'all on your toes... "it's 830pm!"  Yes, I reply, and I care not at all.  I need sleep like ducks need rye bread.

UPDATE:  "Seven hours" is the answer to the question "how long was the nap?"  I'm awake only to post this update and to release pressure in my hydraulic system.  Going back to bed now.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 08:33 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Humanity Deserves Better Than Humans

During my period of... um... unplanned vacation... I made jokes about becoming very hermit-ish in my everyday life.  There were whole weeks when I never left Pond Central.  Heck, there were long periods of time where I never opened the door, let alone leave for any reason.  At the end of such long stretches, I would find myself beginning to get antsy for human contact, leading to some epic runs of motormouth during dinners with The Librarian or Ph.Duck.  On the whole, though, I was pretty okay with being a recluse.  I had a radio, I had a TV, I had a computer... really, it's hard to think of what more a modern-day hermit could desire.

I'm now gainfully employed, of course, which means I pretty much have to leave Pond Central at least five days per week.  Six days isn't uncommon, though going out seven days is totally unheard of... Sunday is always totally mine for F1 or football or whatever.  Even with having to go out, I'm still awfully hermity.  The job itself is a solitary position, and it doesn't take any effort at all to go the entire day speaking a total of four words: "Good morning" and "good night."  I'm pretty okay with that, though the person sitting next to me is becoming something of a work buddy... we're starting to play pranks on each other.

However!  There are times where I cannot avoid the outside world... like this afternoon.  We ran out of claims after I got six hours in, which was okay with me because in the trunk of the DuckMobile was nearly fifty pounds of laundry.  The situation had become desperate... hell, I needed to wash clothes back as far as Thanksgiving.  Problem is, I couldn't bring myself to actually do it.  Couple of reasons for that.  First, I'm in one of those periodic fits of self-loathing I tend to get into.  Second, I'm also in one of those fits of hating just about everybody that I tend to get into.  The LAST thing that combination warrants is going to the laundromat.

But no clean clothes means away I went.  The good news is that at 3pm on a Tuesday, the place was nearly empty.  The bad news is the "nearly" part.  During the two hour, eight loads of laundry span of time I was there, I rediscovered just how much I despise most of humanity.  For example, the screaming baby.  Actually, I had no problem with the baby... it was hungry and that's what babies do when they're hungry.  However, mommy was 18, tops, and much too invested in her phone to actually feed the poor child.  She was even taking selfies... in a laundromat?... no doubt to update her myfacetwitsnaptube page.  Meanwhile the baby screeched on.  Speaking of phones, there was also the charming lass talking on her phone at high volume, whose use of the language would have made sailors blush.  How in the world can you carry on a conversation when every third word was f'n this, or f'n that or f'n the other?  Then there was the guy who actually made little jokes about me... because I was reading a book.  I'm not sure if he was offended by my reading, or if it was because it was an actual book and not a Kindling or a Niche or whatever.  In case you're wondering, it was Heinlein's Expanded Universe.  Finally, as if simply to mock me, the TVs were showing some Judge Judy-alike with much yelling and banging of gavels.  By the time I broke the zipper on the small laundry bag from overstuffing it, I was ready to do Very Bad Things to everybody. 

The big bag, now containing approximately 200 pounds of clean clothing, continued to not explode, something it has managed for over a decade now.  Dragging the 500 pounds of stuff out to the DuckMobile was somewhat troublesome; carrying the 943lb bag up the stairs to Pond Central nearly killed me, not least because the railing on the stairs is badly rusted and it fair to broke at one point, nearly catapulting me down two flights of stairs.  So now I've got 2000lbs of clean laundry to deal with, and I have to go back to work in the morning, and I would rather do anything else right now.  Because Humanity kinda sucks.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:37 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Ah.

I...  um... hm. 

(sigh)

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That'll Buff Right Out, You Betcha.

November 29, 1968 was shaping up to be just another day for Santa Fe 213L, an EMD F7A in freight service on the Plainview District main line in north Texas. 

Hook up and run through Hale Center, taking its load of cars to wherever they needed to go.  Shame about the tornado that tore through the center of town a few years earlier, though.  Never was a big place, and some folks decided they didn't want to come back afterwards... Lubbock to the south, Amarillo to the north, plenty of big city reasons to move in either one.  'Sfunny how things change.  Even that US 87, runs parallel to the main line, it's gettin' replaced by something called I-27.  Saw it gettin' built as we ran back and forth over the years.  Dunno if it's better, but it's new... train'll still carry more stuff than trucks will, more than likely.  Although that may not be true for long... lotta guys retirin' early, or just being let go, and who ever thought that'd happen? 

Huh.  Could swear that looks like a train out there, just south of Hale.  Hm...

more...

Posted by: Wonderduck at 11:37 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Long Weekend

It wasn't until sometime late last week that I discovered that the office was not going to be open on Black Friday.  Four day weekend!  Now, to be honest, I wouldn't have minded working today all that much... it's not like I have to deal with retail customers as a medical claims processor... but I'm not going to look a paid day off in the mouth of a horse of a different color.

Things have taken a distinctively positive turn at The Job.  I cleared the first major hurdle of averaging 100 claims a day a few months ago.  I then set a goal of averaging 20 claims an hour, or 160 claims per normal day.  I've sunk that one a few weeks back, and set sail for 200/day.  Almost immediately I reached that milestone.  Even better, I've now worked at The Job long enough to be paid on merit for each claim.  For the past three months I was locked at $.50/claim.  Once you hit merit pay, the base amount per claim drops to something like $.34.  However, you then get bonuses based on your accuracy levels on three separate categories.  If you're not making too many errors, these bonuses add up to truly pleasant levels... like, twice as much as the base amount?  Combining my recent speed boost with that means that my per-hour rate is looking truly inspirational. 

There is one little problem though... I haven't worked a full eight hours in a day in two, maybe three weeks.  There's some long-winded reasons for that that I'm not going to get into, but there's one smaller reason that just makes me facepalm so very hard.  See, as you may remember, the medical industry recently switched from the ICD-9 standard of coding to ICD-10.  This is actually one of those few changes that makes a lot of sense... ICD-10 allows for much more accurate coding of incidents.  Just making up an example, ICD-9 would code for "broken arm, right."  ICD-10 codes to "broken arm, right, upper, enclosed fracture, honey mustard sauce."  However!  The implementation date for the new coding had been pushed back multiple times, and it appears that a lot of medical facilities just assumed that would occur again.  This means that it's taking longer for claims to get to us, as doctors' offices and clinics and all those sorts of places try to figure out software and codes they've been neglecting.

Other than that little problem, though?  Things are okay.  The mp3 player allows me to mostly tune out the world... except for one person.  This person, who we'll call Louise because that isn't her name, is a talker.  Worse, her voice has a lot of throw weight to it, much the way nuclear weaponry has throw weight.  She doesn't ever whisper, so everything she says is quite audible, even when she isn't talking loudly.  Remember, this is in a relatively quiet workspace as well.  The job is hard enough without hearing her discuss her lunch in detail.  Polite requests for her to be quiet had a couple hours' worth of effect.  More formal complaints fell on deaf ears or worse, led Louise to complain to the manager of the entire office... "boo hoo, they're picking me."  Frustrating.  One feature of this job is that long-term people with good speed and accuracy are often allowed to work from home.  Combine that with the usual workforce churn and open seats tend to appear.  When enough of those occur, a reorganization invariably takes place.  Remember, in the Duckford office, we actually work with four different medical insurance firms, and it's always best to get the workers for a firm in one place.  New employees, for example, will always get put into The Big Room before they get shuffled to their real room.  This reorg occurred on Tuesday... and Louise was moved from her seat in the cube directly in front of me to one literally as far away as possible from me and still be in the same room.

That very Tuesday, I cranked out my best claims day ever... I was within spittin' distance of 300 when we ran out of 'em.  Coincidence?  Nope.  I could listen to my music without fear of hearing her "huh?" rip through Athena's Barcarolle from ARIA... I have a four minute long live recording of it on the mp3 player that can manage to bring tears to my eyes.  So work is okay.  And it's not in a mall.  No complaints at the moment.  And hey, four days off!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 03:54 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Stagnant? Moi?

Not intentionally... at least, not since that last post.  My internet connection has been completely down since very early Wednesday morning.

This is very very annoying.  It's not like I need help in not blogging, after all.  The connection has been up for only a short time... my modem fired up as I was looking at it, in fact... but I have no confidence in it staying up, so I thought I'd better get a notification posted.  And when I clicked to finalize this post? The internet had gone down again.  Guess I was right.  Wow, five minutes of internet in over a day.  Considering this provider's track record at times, I guess I should count myself lucky.

On the other hand, I managed to watch a few episodes of Sakura Trick, which I was told was really really good.  I will never take this person's word for something ever again.  However!  Attention Steven!  The character in the picture above normally wears red quarter-rimmed glasses!  Even BETTER than half-rimmed!  If you wanna see, check out Ep03 and beyond.

Just... don't pay attention to the show.  Or be at risk of diabetes, and by "at risk" I mean "you once ate or drank something that had some sort of sweetener in it."  And if you actually have diabetes, avoid Sakura Trick like the plague.  Dear god, this series will kill you dead.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 05:11 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I... Uh... Hm. Well.

Blogging is not happening.  I'm trying, but nothing's happening.  Sure, I've got things to write about, Gakkou Gurashi Ep06 first and foremost, but everytime I sit and begin to type, it all comes out... boring.  Dull.  Insipid.  Uninteresting.  How in the world do you make the zombie apocalypse boring?  I dunno, but I'm managing to pull it off!  So I'm not going to blog tonight.  Do you have anything you'd like to hear me pontificate upon?  Or, conversely, not talk about because you don't want it ruined by a boring blogger?  Let me know in the comments... or don't, if you think that's a safer option.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:44 PM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
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