May 26, 2012

F1 Quals: Monaco 2012

NoNo no no no noNo no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.  Here's the provisional grid for the 2012 Grand Prix of Monaco:

Pos Driver Team Q1 Q2 Q3
1 Slappy Schumacher Mercedes 1:15.873 1:15.062 1:14.301
2 Mark Webber Red Bull Racing-Renault 1:16.013 1:15.035 1:14.381
3 Nico Rosberg Mercedes 1:15.900 1:15.022 1:14.448
4 Lewis Hamilton McLaren-Mercedes 1:16.063 1:15.166 1:14.583
5 Lettuce Grosjean Lotus-Renault 1:15.718 1:15.219 1:14.639
6 HWMNBN Ferrari 1:16.153 1:15.128 1:14.948
7 Felipe Massa Ferrari 1:15.983 1:14.911 1:15.049
8 Mumbles Räikkönen Lotus-Renault 1:15.889 1:15.322 1:15.199
9 Pratiprasthātr Maldonado Williams-Renault 1:16.017 1:15.026 1:15.245
10 Sebastian Vettel Red Bull Racing-Renault 1:15.757 1:15.234 No time
11 Nico Hulkenberg Force India-Mercedes 1:15.418 1:15.421
12 Gandalf Kobayashi Sauber-Ferrari 1:15.648 1:15.508
13 Jenson Button McLaren-Mercedes 1:16.399 1:15.536
14 Bruno Senna Williams-Renault 1:15.923 1:15.709
15 Paul di Resta Force India-Mercedes 1:16.062 1:15.718
16 Daniel Ricciardo STR-Ferrari 1:16.360 1:15.878
17 Jules Vergne STR-Ferrari 1:16.491 1:16.885
18 Heikki Kovalaineninnie Caterham-Renault 1:16.538

19 The Red Menace
Caterham-Renault 1:17.404

20 Tim O'Glockenspiel Marussia-Cosworth 1:17.947

21 Pete Rose
HRT-Cosworth 1:18.096

22 Charles ToothPic Marussia-Cosworth 1:18.476

23 Narain Kittylitter HRT-Cosworth 1:19.310

24 Sergio Perez Sauber-Ferrari No time


Q1 107% Time
1:20.697


Good news!  Slappy isn't on poleYes!  YES!  If you'll remember, he was penalized five grid spots for his Moooooo-ooove of the Race at Spain, when he drove into the back of Bruno Senna's Williams.  For once, justice is served to Slappy, and it is served in heaping teaspoons of bile and spite... and it is AWSUM!  Meanwhile, the winner at Spain, Pratiprasthātr Maldonado, went insane during P3 and drove across the nose of Sergio Perez, much the same way he did to Lewis Hamilton last year.  However, these extracurricular activities on Maldonado's part may have led directly to Perez wrecking in Q1 when it looked like his steering failed in the Swimming Pool.  Maldonado was peanlized 10 grid spots.

The upshot of all this is that we've got a fine shot of having our sixth winner in six races on Sunday, as Mark Webber is promoted to pole, Lewis Hamilton to 3rd and Lettuce Grosjean to 4th.  It'd take Lettuce winning to give us our sixth team winning as well, which I'm gonna guess is unprecedented in F1 history.  How cool would that be?

Considering how this year has gone so far, I wouldn't bet against it happening.  See ya tomorrow!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 01:01 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 432 words, total size 16 kb.

1 What have you got against Slappy? Don't you think it would be cool for an old man to win?

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at May 26, 2012 03:20 PM (+rSRq)

2 What have I got against Slappy Schumacher?  The Internet doesn't have enough words for me to enumerate why I dislike him, Steven.  Look, it's clear that I respect HWMNBN's driving ability while disliking him as a person, right?  Slappy was HWMNBN before HWMNBN became HWMNBN... except I don't really respect his driving ability.

Oh, to be sure, he's a great driver, but a lot of his "talent" could also be called "getting away with sh*t".  You know how I used to say "FIA" stood for "Ferrari Is All" or "Ferrari International Assistance"?  He was the beneficiary of most of the FIA's help.

To be blunt, seeing him win again would be a great story, but I'd personally want to jump into a woodchipper if it happened.

Posted by: Wonderduck at May 26, 2012 05:04 PM (q2lfL)

3 The way you're talking about Slappy, I'd almost think he was a Packer...

Posted by: Siergen at May 26, 2012 08:29 PM (PuIGa)

4 I won't say this often, but he's worse.  The Packers don't cheat.

Posted by: Wonderduck at May 26, 2012 11:14 PM (q2lfL)

5 maldo starts last i think now. dont get his name, must be some SUPER SECRET in joke.

lol'ed at toothpic.

Posted by: carnett at May 27, 2012 12:12 AM (PL9Eu)

6 Carnett, just continuing the joke from last year.  Since we're all-inclusive here at The Pond, we change Maldonado's first name to a different religion's title every race.  This time, it's a sub-priest of the Vedic religion.

Posted by: Wonderduck at May 27, 2012 01:02 AM (q2lfL)

7 Schumacher's cheating was legendary in its insolence. When he parked the car in qualification, for instance, Webber was very diplomatic and only said that "he heard that there were contrary steering inputs". The in-car camera actually captured in detail how exactly Schumacher did it.

Posted by: Pete at May 27, 2012 03:46 PM (5OBKC)

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