Ho ho ho! MERRY Christmas! I'm SantaDuck, and I've brought a sack o' goodies for all the good (?) little boys and... uhm... (glances at list)... boys of Formula One! Gather 'round and I'll show you what they'll be getting...

For Takuma Sato, I bring a team of his very own. And a no-fault car insurance policy.

For Alexander Wurz, I bring a full-time drive... and either a larger cockpit or knee-replacement surgery, whichever is easier.

For Christian Albers, I bring a car that will go fast... that he won't have to have two wheels in the air to get around corners. Even if he IS good at it.

For Jacques Villeneuve, I bring... um... I know there's something in here somewhere, hang on...

For Felipe Massa, I don't bring anything. He's already the luckiest man on the face of the earth, he doesn't need my help.

For David Coulthard's Chin, I bring a wristbrace... for the carpal tunnel syndrome problems he's suffered while signing all those autographs. Hey, get away from that reinduck!!! Do you know how hard it is to get Sharpie ink off feathers???

For Mark Webber and Nick Heidfeld, I bring individual personalites. Use them well, boys... um, which one is which?

For Jacques Villeneuve... um... still looking...

For Jensen Button, I bring a contract with the team-name left blank. Everybody knows that what you wanted last year...

For Rubens Barrichello, I bring a DVD set of the 2004 season. Watch it often, Rubino, it's probably the closest you'll come to winning a race this year...

For Jarno Trulli... a lump of coal. No, no, you haven't been bad! It's just for you to throw into the engine of your train next year.

For Jacques Ville... oh, just skip it, he's not gettin' nuthin' from me.

For Ralf Schumacher, I bring the Cora Schumacher Guide to Driving Racecars. Maybe it'll help.

For Giancarlo Fisichella, I bring a replacement butt. To replace the one that Flavio Briatorie chewed off last year.

For Juan Pablo Montoya, I bring NFL shoulderpads and a tennisball deflector system. Just in case.

For Michael Schumacher, I bring a pair of boxing gloves. Might hurt your hands less that way.

For Kimi Raikkonen, I bring mmblembllmbmmblembblmmb mbmbblmbl mm-mmbllelmmbemmll. (Kimi: Cool! Thanks, Santaduck!)

For Fernando Alonso, there's nothing I can bring. He's got everything.

For F1 Fans, I bring a new season, just around the corner.

For Official First Reader Mallory, I bring NASCAR (less than 60 days away!) and a really new storyline for the WWE.

For Offical Overseas Reader Flotsky, I bring a "3\/1L l33t G33k" T-shirt. 'Cause I know j00 understood that.

And for Wonderduck, I tried to bring a drive for Zsolt Baumgartner, but not even Santaduck could pull that one off.

Merry Christmas!!!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 03:04 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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