August 24, 2007

Friday Practice: Turkey!

"Hello, and welcome to This Old Track. I'm Norm Abrams, and our project for today will be this drain cover. Renault's Heikki Kovaleineneininnie went a little wide out of a turn, and you know what they say about the grip of these F1 tires! He ripped the drain cover straight out of the ground, bolts and all, and left it in the middle of the track.

"Well, to make matters worse, Rubens Barrichello then ran over the cover, blowing one of his rear tires. The FIA decided to throw the red flag, and called us in to fix everything.

"As you can see, there was some damage to our drain cover. It's just not meant to be run over like that... dumb F1 drivers. Now, while Steve walks down the whole drainage system, making sure everything is secure by stomping on every square inch..."

"Wow, this is fun!"

"Yes it is, Steve. Anyway, we'll have to do some heavy-duty wrenching to get this drain cover back into place. But first, using our biscuit cutter, we'll create some grooves in the side of the cover. We fill the grooves with glue, put the biscuits into the grooves, and get the cover centered over the drain.

"Now, this being Istanbul, the bolts are metric-headed, and all we have are imperial sockets. This would be a problem, but we've got a great solution e-mailed to us by a Mr. R. Brawn of Maranello, Italy... thanks for watching!... using a piece of carbon fiber, a chunk of option tire, and a length of coolant pipe. You just put this around this, and put that over the bolt, then we take the socket, and... voila! That's one down, and seven to go."

"(distantly) Wow, that's great, Norm!"

"Shut up, Steve. Well, that's about all the time we have for today's episode of This Old Track. Next time, we'll be repairing the Honda wind tunnel. I'm Norm Abrams, and don't forget, use biscuits. See you!"

Posted by: Wonderduck at 12:38 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 That was very funny, seemed to be a bit true -- if you remember Japan 2005 -- but you forgot this:

"Before using any homemade appliance, don't forget to always follow shop safety rules and remember to wear these [pointing to glasses], safety glasses."

I always enjoy the F1 recaps, and I am looking forward to this weekend's updates.

Posted by: Kyle Gottfried at August 24, 2007 05:38 PM (fwufi)

2 *slaps forehead*

How could I have forgotten that??? I don't believe it!!!

Posted by: wonderduck at August 24, 2007 05:40 PM (M7kiy)

3 Sorry, China 2005, where Juan Pablo Montoya hit the raised drain cover, ending McLaren's hopes of winning the World Constructors' Championship.

Posted by: Kyle Gottfried at August 24, 2007 05:41 PM (fwufi)

4 I KNEW I should have taped yesterday's practice.

Thanks for making the recap so entertaining. Great job as always! :-)

Posted by: Mallory at August 25, 2007 03:33 AM (h9L6l)

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