I don't understand Formula 1 anymore.  First it rained but nobody seemed to care.  Then drivers forgot how to drive, but nobody was penalized.  Then a driver decided to break everything in a fit of pique, and he didn't get a grid penalty.  Then it didn't rain but everybody freaked out anyway.  And then the announcers thought one of the lakes was rain.  Brazil: if you're not confused, you're not in Brazil!  Here's the provisional grid for the 2018 Grand Prix of Brazil '66:

Pos	Driver	Car	Q1	Q2	Q3
1	Lewis Hamilton	Mercedes	1:08.464	1:07.795	1:07.281
2	DA Vettel	Ferrari	1:08.452	1:07.776	1:07.374
3	Valtteri Bottas	Mercedes	1:08.492	1:07.727	1:07.441
4	Kimi Räikkönen	Ferrari	1:08.452	1:08.028	1:07.456
5	DH Verstappen	Red Bull Racing	1:08.205	1:08.017	1:07.778
6	Frowny Ricciardo	Red Bull Racing	1:08.544	1:08.055	1:07.780
7	Sony Ericsson	Sauber Ferrari	1:08.754	1:08.579	1:08.296
8	Charles AMX-30	Sauber Ferrari	1:08.667	1:08.335	1:08.492
9	Lettuce Grosjean	Haas Ferrari	1:08.735	1:08.239	1:08.517
10	Pierre Ghastly	Scuderia Toro Rosso	1:09.046	1:08.616	1:09.029
11	DP Magnussen	Haas Ferrari	1:08.474	1:08.659
12	Lawsuit Perez	Force India Mercedes	1:09.217	1:08.741
13	False Esteban!	Force India Mercedes	1:09.264	1:08.770
14	Nico Hulkenberg	Renault	1:09.009	1:08.834
15	Sergey Sir Otkin	Williams Mercedes	1:09.259	1:10.381
16	Carlos Sainz	Renault	1:09.269
17	Brendon Hartley	Scuderia Toro Rosso	1:09.280
18	V8S Alonso	McLaren Renault	1:09.402
19	Veruca Stroll	Williams Mercedes	1:09.441
20	Stoffelwaffle	McLaren Renault	1:09.601

I said that I didn't understand F1 anymore, and this Quals session just made that totally clear in that I couldn't follow what was actually going on.  Nothing seemed to be happening the way I'm used to and I can't quite put my finger on why.  The only thing I got out of it is that Ferrari got sneaky, managed to qualify on the hardest rubber compound in Q2, while everybody else was on either the softest or the medium.  So not only will Ferrari be fast, and at the top of the grid, but they'll be able to go longer than anybody else in the Top 10, too.

Fortunately for DA Vettel, he's not going to get penalized for his little contretemps in Q2.  See, cars are randomly selected during Quals to be weighed during the sessions, just to make sure everybody is conforming to standards... and since it's random, you can't cheat without risking getting ejected.  Vettel was selected as he was coming in for new tires, which caused a little problem.  See, it was looking like rain, so you really wanted to get laps done before the moisture made the track undriveable.  So Vettel hurried over to the weighbridge, which was blocked by an orange cone... don't move in until the cone is removed... and promptly kicked the cone into another city.  Then he drove onto the scale pads and did NOT turn off his engine, which is required.  He then started waving his hands in the air like he was trying to land a Dauntless on a carrier.  Eventually he got settled, the car was weighed, and he drove off to his pits, screaming a blue streak as he went.  Except those scale pads?  They're NOT designed to be used as takeoff points, so his rear wheels basically kicked them in the opposite direction from the one the cone went.  This destroys the weighbridge.  For a while, it looked like DA Vettel was going to be kicked out of Quals.  Then there was thought he'd get a grid penalty.  As it turned out, he was hit with a €25000 fine and a non-driving reprimand, which means he was taken to the principals office and hit on the hands with a ruler.  Oh, why "DA"?  It stands for "dumb@ss," which he's proven to be this season.  Wear it with pride, DA.

Race in the noonish on ESPN2, I think.  See ya then and there.

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