Right, Giving Up!

I've just discovered how hard it is to write something interesting on a subject you thought would be fun to write about, but was horribly wrong.  So instead here's a picture of a flat-out beautiful ship.

That's the HMS Enterprise.  Darn, that's pretty.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:49 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 46 words, total size 1 kb.

Meet My Newest Duck

As the title says, I'd like you to meet my newest duck!

I know he looks like a racing duck that you'd find in a river somewhere, and to be honest, that's why I picked him off the shelf in the first place.  It wasn't until I got him home that I discovered his true purpose in life and the skill that sets him apart from all of my other rubber duckies.

He glows!  Now, to be sure, I have other light-up duckies, but they all flash or color-cycle; none of them just glow brightly enough to show up on camera without a ridiculously long exposure.  Because of this, I've named him Cherenkov, or "Cherny" for short.  I've got Frank next to him, just so you can see that he gives off light... and since Frank already glows, no worries!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 09:22 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 144 words, total size 1 kb.

45

Today is English Language Day at the UN.  It's also the honored Independence Day for the Conch Republic, first declared in 1982.  Japanese composer Kenji Kawaii was born today in 1957, as was Roy Orbison in 1936.  Today is an important day for the navy of the Netherlands, as both Karel Doorman and Maarten Tromp were born on April 23rd.  New Coke debuted today in 1985, leading Vaucaunson's Duck and myself to scurry around Duckford trying to find as much "old" Coke as we could.  The confusingly named People's Liberation Army Navy was founded today in 1949.  And 45 years ago, in a hospital somewhere on the North Side of Chicago, a Wonderduck was unleashed upon the world.

Nobody is more surprised than myself.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 08:02 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 127 words, total size 1 kb.

Ego Crushing

I'm a blogger.  Well, allegedly.  By definition, I have to have a fairly substantial ego; I write because I think I have something to say that complete strangers on the internet will find fascinatingly interesting.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I'll deny the existence of my ego until I'm blue in the face, because that's who I am, but have no fear, it's there, it's real and it's spectacular.  Which makes my encounter on Tuesday so disturbing.

You see, I met an honest-to-gawd Hero.  I met a man who flew the F-4 Phantom II, F-15 Eagle, F-16 Falcon, the U-2, the SR-71, the B-52 and the B-1.

 He earned a Silver Star, two Bronze Stars, a Distinguished Flying Cross, and two Purple Hearts.  He's an author of a book of poetry, poetry that he created as a Prisoner Of War during his six years as a POW in the Hanoi Hilton.  Poetry that he had to memorize, as he was allowed neither paper nor pencil, and disseminated to his fellow POWs via "tap code."  Of course, if he was caught at it, he'd be savagely beaten.  He retired a Major General in the US Air Force after a 37 year career.  Oh, did I mention that he's a Formula 1 fan, and has raced Formula 5000 and other open-wheel cars? 

And along the way, he picked up the skills of an excellent public speaker, too.  Funny, intelligent, clever without being in your face about it, he was one of the most entertaining speakers I've ever heard.  The only thing I couldn't figure out is where he kept his wheelbarrow. 

This was a guy who's real life makes that "Most Interesting Man In The World" character look like... well, like a blogger.  As I said, I have an ego, and a robust one at that.  I consider myself the equal of any man, and better than many.  This guy's simple existence made me doubt whether I'm the equal of his damn socks.  It's a sobering experience.

So of course, I'm blogging about it.  Smell the irony.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:49 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 365 words, total size 3 kb.

April Fools Zen

The best April Fool's joke is the one that isn't.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:15 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 13 words, total size 1 kb.

It's Fantasy Baseball Time Again...

...and as I need to do research for my team, the Generics, all blogging at The Pond is hereby and forthwith suspended until the auction is over.

After this post, that is.  Because if I suspended all blogging before this post, I'd already be breaking my suspension, wouldn't I? 

The auction is tomorrow morning.  It's not like I'm going to be gone for a long time or anything.  Probably not as long as some might wish.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:48 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 81 words, total size 1 kb.

"How I Spent My Tuesday Night," by Wonderduck

Like this:

Around 515pm tonight, I was sitting in my office, counting down a cash register, when my heart skipped a beat.  Eh, no biggie, happens every now and again to pretty much everybody.  For me, it's gotten relatively routine... my doc told me it wasn't anything to worry about, after all.  And then it happened again.  Still, no worries... I've had it happen twice like that before.  Then it happened yet again.  And again.  For the next five or ten minutes, my heart was doing this oddball stuff.  When it happened twice in a row and I got all sweaty, I knew there was something very not good going on.

As I write this, it's around 1130pm, and I just got back from the Emergency Room.  Good news!  No heart attack, not even a "silent" one.  In fact all my blood test results came back clean... except for one.  It seems I'm hypothyroidic, which would account for some things that I was putting down to getting older.  I'm not a 25 year old anymore, after all.  The thyroid also has a definite tie to heart rhythm. 

So tomorrow, I get to call my doctor and make an appointment.  But I'm still alive, despite my body's best attempts at making me the opposite.  You guys can't get rid of me that easily.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:28 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
Post contains 230 words, total size 1 kb.

3/15/2009: Never Forget

"A bat that apparently had trouble flying instead tried to hitch a ride on the space shuttle Discovery, NASA officials said.  The animal was last seen clinging to the foam of the external tank of the space shuttle moments before the Discovery launched, officials said.  NASA had hoped that the bat would fly away on its own, but admitted the bat probably died quickly during Discovery's climb to orbit."

May we all be as brave when we are afraid as Space Bat.  Now he belongs to the stars.

To Space Bat!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:45 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 94 words, total size 1 kb.

My Favorite Joke...

I note that the Roman Catholic Church elected a new Pope today.  Former Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio has now become Pope Francis, the first of his name.  I've always been somewhat in awe of the position Cardinal Bergoglio now holds; whether one is a follower of his faith, some other, or none whatsoever, the Pope is the head of an organization that counts some 1.3 billion followers.  That little fact deserves some respect, right there.  But his elevation to Pontifex Maximus allows me the chance to roll out my all-time favorite joke, which is, alas, limited in times that it can be told and still be funny.

But first, some background.  It is a winter's morning in 1992.  The sky is blue and clear, with a sort of vividness that only occurs when it is bone-achingly cold... which it is.  There's maybe a foot of fresh white snow on the ground, everywhere but streets, parking lots and sidewalks.  None of the many people visible seem to notice the cold, however.  That's because this is Minnesota, and the residents are used to it being below zero.  Well, that, and everybody has on big hulking parkas that'd keep the wearer warm on the surface of Pluto.

Amongst these huddled masses, enter Wonderduck and his fellow grad student in lighting design, Mike.  Mike and Wonderduck get along pretty well; they're both from Illinois, outsiders to these here Northerners.  Further, they're currently the only theatre tech grad students and have the same grad advisor.  To say they spend a lot of time together would be something of an understatement: they have the same classes, work on each others productions (example: Mike is a show's lighting designer, Wonderduck would be his master electrician, and vice-versa), help teach the same classes, and so on.  The main difference between them is that Mike is pushing 40, while Wonderduck is in his low 20s.  Both have an interest in history, however, that often left the other grad students bored and confused. 

On this frigid morning, Wonderduck and Mike are walking from their reserved parking spots towards the theatre building, about a three-block stroll.  Normally not a problem, on mornings like this it could be considered something of a trial for us Illinoisans and our thin "southern" blood.  As we make our way towards the warmth of the tallest building in the city, we turn a corner that reveals the northern edge of the campus.  The theatre building is there, and just to the west, across a wide expanse of courtyard (that I was known to fly kites from, even in January, but I digress), the Freshman Dorm building. 

As anybody who's experienced bitterly cold days like this one will attest, things like vehicles and buildings appear to smoke a lot when it's frigid, and this day was no exception.  Small cars would go by, leaving clouds of exhaust to rival any jumbo jet contrail.  Buildings seemed to have their own external microclimate, wreathed as they are in clouds of steam condensate.  For whatever reason, however, on this day the Freshman Dorm was pumping out enough of this stuff to make any nuclear power plant cooling tower feel inadequate, and it was all a pure, pristine white.

At this point, Mike turned to Wonderduck and said "wow, look at that."  Wonderduck, suitably impressed, nodded and said to Mike "Yeah.  You know what that means, right?"

A beat passed before Mike replied with excellent comic timing: "The freshmen have elected a Pope?"

Exunt two grad students, laughing uproariously.

And now you know why my favorite joke is only funny at very limited and specific times. 

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:09 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 608 words, total size 4 kb.

Getting Better, Not Gotten Better.

Hey everybody, I've got great news!

The Dacia Sandero will not be appearing in this post!  Oh, and I'm feeling better already!  As you may remember from that long ago post from... yesterday, I think it was, I had been diagnosed with bronchitis, suffered a damaged muscle in my side, and was generally feeling just rather medically unhappy.  To solve the bronchitis, the doctor gave me azithromycin, an antibiotic that costs $15.52 per pill, which fact blew my tiny little mind and made me so very glad I have a full-time job with pretty decent health-care benefits.  To take care of the muscle-thingy, he... well, he didn't really do anything.  Not much he could do, to be honest, except say "find a position that makes it hurt less when you cough."  I've done so, and I'm awfully glad my job tends to keep me in the back room.  Makes it ever so much easier to what, did you really think there'd be something naughty here? and then you didn't learn the last time?.  That's just embarrassing to do every time I cough.

But to deal with the unhappiness, he gave me Cheratussin AC.  This is a foul tasting syrup that supports a dose of an effective expectorant... and codeine.  Truthfully, it's not doing all that much other than making me cough, which hurts, but the codeine is making it not hurt so much.  It balances out.  The bad part of all of these wonderdrugs is that, well, I came home from work, had something to eat, then immediately crawled into bed and stayed there until just now... meaning I didn't do the first official post of the new F1 season tonight.  I'll do it tomorrow, I promise.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:32 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 276 words, total size 2 kb.

Why Create THOSE???

So, remember that cold I had?  For the most part, the symptoms have gone completely away, except for one: the cough.  The cough has stuck around like the last guest at a party, the one who just won't take the hint to get out.  Still, it hasn't been a bad thing... it sounded bad, but really didn't hurt or anything like that.  But then, last night, just as I was getting ready to go to sleep, I had one big cough...

...and it felt like most of the contents of those trays were jammed a spot just below my ribs on the left side.  From the amount of pain involved, I thought I had just broken a rib.  After a couple of minutes, I realized I hadn't, because I could breathe without pain.  I went to the Immediate Care place nearby this afternoon.  X-rays were taken, and the new diagnosis came down: I have bronchitis and perhaps a muscle tear.  It only hurts when I cough.  Or twist.

I've been given Azithromycin, and a prescription for a cough medicine that I want to have checked out by my doctor due to my heart thingy.  But hopefully this will make me better soon... I don't want to be sick for the first F1 race of the year.

UPDATE: I realized just now that I never did get around to explaining the title of this post.  When I ask "Why create those???", I'm referring to viruses that cause this whatever-it-is that I've got.  Both Ph.Duck and his spouse are dealing with it, and from what he was told, the ick that's in this area is actually two viruses, one piggybacking on the other.  One brings the cold/flu symptoms, the other carries the crap I'm dealing with.  I'd love love love to know why these things came to be. 

Posted by: Wonderduck at 05:42 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 313 words, total size 2 kb.

Snow Day! Snow Day!

Duck U is closed today due to inclement weather.  To whit: lotsa snow!

It's a snow day!

UPDATE: As of 9pm, we're looking at 9.6" of snow on the ground here at Pond Central.  Far and away our heaviest snowfall of the winter.  In March.  When it's supposed to be over and done with.  *sigh*  I tell ya, Nature.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:48 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.

I'm A Wimp

As you know, I spent last week in Chicago in a manager training meeting.  Forty of us, trapped in a room all day for five days... and two of the other managers were sick.  It's as much an occupational hazard for us as papercuts, ulcers and murder charges, but it's been a few years since I had a long-term ick.  Oh, I had that stomach flu / food poisoning thing a couple of Januarys back, but that only lasted a couple of days (thankfully).  Other than that?  I've been pretty good.

I came home from the meetings on Saturday.  That night, I had a little tickle in the back of my throat, but I figured that was because of the square of chipotle chili dark chocolate I had just eaten.  Sunday, the tickle became something more than a tickle, and I'm sure you can see where this is going.  By Tuesday night, I felt pretty darn bad, coughing, sneezing, headache, sore throat... but I just felt awful.  I went to work on Wednesday morning, but I immediately knew it was a mistake.  I gave up at 10am, and headed right to the doctor's office.  I was expecting a diagnosis of something like the Black Death, or Ebola, or porphyric hemophilia or something like that... I mean, I felt so miserable, it had to be something terrible.

I've got a cold.

I'm a wimp.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:24 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 236 words, total size 1 kb.

Live Action Anime Fight Scene Done Right

While we wait for me to complete the writeup for Vividred Operation Ep06 (PROTIP: business trips are not a good time to work on such things), I want to talk about a single scene from a movie that falls firmly into the "meh" category for me.  The movie in question came out in 2011, and was titled Sucker Punch.  On the whole, there's very little about the movie to like except for some of the visuals; much like the original Hellsing anime, it's great to look at but not so good to watch.  One scene, however, makes it clear that Director Zack Snyder has watched a lot of anime.

If anybody out there is thinking about doing a live-action fighting anime, Snyder has shown you how to do the fight scenes right.  Watch it in 720p; it's worth it.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:44 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 146 words, total size 1 kb.

Too Old For This (Stuff)...

I'm amazed at how exhausting it is being lectured at for an entire day.  Wednesday night, I went to sleep at 1030pm for the first time in perhaps a decade, and then slept all the way to my alarm clock.  That NEVER happens.  Still, I'm learning some stuff and getting some great networking results, which is the important part of this event.  When the training comes to an end Friday afternoon, I'll mark it down as a success.

But I'll be doing it from my hotel room, as I'm not going home immediately afterwards.  See, as I sit here in my lovely hotel room, it has not quite yet begun snowing, but the weather channel is suggesting that it will any second.  Allegedly four-to-six inches of snow is tonight, with another inch tomorrow.  That's not great, but in Duckford it's doable.  However, I'm not in Duckford.  I'm in Chicago.  I hate Chicago traffic.  I hate Chicago traffic during Friday rush hour (which is when I was scheduled to leave).  And I'd REALLY hate Chicago traffic during Friday rush hour with snow on the ground.  So I'm staying here for another day, because it's not like I've had all that many days off in the past year anyway.  It's a mini-vacation!  I'm not the only one, either... about a quarter of the class has had their flights cancelled and stand a good chance of spending another day here too!

So I may just have some time tomorrow to seriously blog... maybe Ep06 of Vividred Operation?  We shall see... we shall see.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:49 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 265 words, total size 2 kb.

The Best Laid Plans Of Ducks And Maps...

...gang aft agley.  The drive into the location of the hotel was uneventful for the most part, except for me having to take an unscheduled stop back at Pond Central for reasons not worth going into at this time.  As a result, this set me back a good hour... which also meant that I'd be reaching my destination an hour later than planned... which meant I'd be coming into Chicago at 5pm.  Rush Hour.  Those of you who are familiar with Chicago's tollways and expressways at Rush Hour are quietly moaning to yourselves and nodding in sympathy.  For those who are unfamilar, let me give you an idea of what it can be like:

Yeah, kinda like that.  And remember, today was a holiday of sorts, too, so traffic was lighter than normal.  Doesn't matter.  I hate driving in Chicago.  Of course, the rain didn't help matters much.  Oh, did I not mention the rain?  Coming down in sheets it was, blown sideways by the wind that left flags stiff and snapping.  At least it wasn't snow.  No, that's coming Thursday and Friday.

Despite all that, the drive in wasn't all that bad, but I do have one bit of advice.  If by some chance you happen to be driving from Duckford to this particular hotel that I'm staying at, and you decide to use googlemaps to get directions here, and in the middle of those directions you see "take exit 10A towards Illinois 83S", don't do it.  That particular road has nothing to do with the ACTUAL directions on how to get to the hotel, and indeed just sends you a few miles out of your way as you try and find a place to turn around and get back to I-290E/I-53S, which is what you were ON before the instructions told you to get off it for whatever fevered reason the map program came up with.

Still.  I'm here, the DuckMobile performed magnificently, and tomorrow begins the New Manager Training Class, which is somewhat ironic considering that I've been a store manager for a year now.  More adventures later.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:00 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 359 words, total size 2 kb.

Scheduling

Okay, here's how this is gonna go down.  Starting tomorrow afternoon, I'll be at the home office for the next week, much like I was back in October.  Different batch of training, though.  Same hotel, which is nice because it's a great hotel with fantastic free cookies.  If things go well, I should have no problem doing the writeup for Vividred Operation Ep06.  I'll be taking Nayuki with me, of course, so I'll have intarwebz access.  That's important, because Williams is rolling out their new car this week, so I can wrap up F1 Pr0n for the year.  But don't be overly surprised if everything slides and nothing gets done; this is a business trip, after all, and work will be performed each day.

I've sunk $360 into the DuckMobile in preparation for the trip: two new tires, front end alignment, oil change and a full tank of gas.  At least I can steer the car now.  Winter in Duckford is always an ugly affair when it comes to the streets... last Monday, I hit a pothole that fell into the category of "teethrattler" and suddenly the DuckMobile didn't like to go in a straight line much.  You let go of the wheel, and suddenly you've changed lanes.  That's all fixed, though, and we're all set to go!  As to when I'll be coming home, that's kinda up in the air.  The training is over Friday afternoon, but there's a snowstorm coming towards the end of the week... and gee, staying in a nice hotel for an extra night is such a hardship.

Right, I need to pack.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 09:14 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 269 words, total size 2 kb.

Really And Truly...

...I am still blogging.  I have no intention of hanging up the mantle of pixel-stained technopeasant anytime soon.  Things are still busy at work, though in a different way than hordes of customers.  I haven't been feeling the greatest this week.  Quite honestly, the thought of sitting down in front of a computer and typing after spending all day in front of a computer typing makes me feel all sorts of urpy these days.  It'll pass... don't give up hope.

I do have something in the works for Friday, a review of a manga I was surprised I liked as much as I did.  But that's tomorrow.  Today, all I have for you is... well, nothing.  And you scruffy little urchins will like it!  Thank you for your support.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:47 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 148 words, total size 1 kb.

Deep Breath...

Okay.  Duck U's Spring semester textbook rush is over, more or less, so things will be slowing down there.  That means I won't be coming home from the Bookstore completely worn out and exhaustipated.  That means I should be able to actually blog on subjects that aren't fed to me on a platter (i.e., F1 Pr0n), subjects that require me to use my brain.

If we're lucky.

If "lucky" is the word for it.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 09:14 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 76 words, total size 1 kb.

A Birthday To Remember

I'd like to tell you all a story.  In some ways, it's a happy story, but in others it's kinda sad.  If you're not interested in hearing some sad stuff, please enjoy the pretty picture of a piece of birthday cake and go on with your day.

For everybody else, read on.

more...

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:41 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 629 words, total size 4 kb.