It's Fantasy Baseball Time Again...
...and as I need to do research for my team, the Generics, all blogging at The Pond is hereby and forthwith suspended until the auction is over.
After this post, that is. Because if I suspended all blogging before this post, I'd already be breaking my suspension, wouldn't I?
The auction is tomorrow morning. It's not like I'm going to be gone for a long time or anything. Probably not as long as some might wish.
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Rotisserie or fantasy? AL or NL or both? How many teams? Web-based or do you do your own stats? I was the commissioner of the EDO Greatest Office League (Rotisserie, AL only) for 12 years before we broke up and I kind of miss it. 'Twas a ball when the owners weren't being a pain in the tuchus...
Posted by: The Old Man at April 05, 2013 03:47 PM (JFB5K)
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TOM, we're a roto 5x5, NL only, though we have a sister league that does AL. We've got a stat service that does that stuff for us, fortunately. For more details, see THIS post from a year ago.
Posted by: Wonderduck at April 05, 2013 07:16 PM (9jITs)
"How I Spent My Tuesday Night," by Wonderduck
Like this:
Around 515pm tonight, I was sitting in my office, counting down a cash register, when my heart skipped a beat. Eh, no biggie, happens every now and again to pretty much everybody. For me, it's gotten relatively routine... my doc told me it wasn't anything to worry about, after all. And then it happened again. Still, no worries... I've had it happen twice like that before. Then it happened yet again. And again. For the next five or ten minutes, my heart was doing this oddball stuff. When it happened twice in a row and I got all sweaty, I knew there was something very not good going on.
As I write this, it's around 1130pm, and I just got back from the Emergency Room. Good news! No heart attack, not even a "silent" one. In fact all my blood test results came back clean... except for one. It seems I'm hypothyroidic, which would account for some things that I was putting down to getting older. I'm not a 25 year old anymore, after all. The thyroid also has a definite tie to heart rhythm.
So tomorrow, I get to call my doctor and make an appointment. But I'm still alive, despite my body's best attempts at making me the opposite. You guys can't get rid of me that easily.
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 27, 2013 08:42 AM (prhS5)
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I can empthize. I deal with atrial fibrilations which have put me in the hospital at least six times in the last five years. Very uncomfortable and they raise my chance of having a stroke. (I personally blame them on the eight to ten years of imbibing on multiple cans of dr pepper during the day, and four hours of sleep at night.)
I'm a bit jealous. Your heartrate doesn't seem to spike as high as mine does when I have an attack.
101 is downright calm. (I usually deal with 145+ heartrate while this is occuring.)
Good to know you're okay, and I hope you find an excellent cardiac physician.
Posted by: Tom Tjarks at March 27, 2013 09:46 AM (T5fuR)
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The duck already had an episode of absurdly high heart rate, and he takes medication to control that.
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Tom, that picture was taken nearly three hours after the attack. My resting pulse is normally in the 70s. My BP usually sits around 125/70. And I'm not usually in a hospital.
Wanna talk about high pulse rates? Read this. It's the part just before they kill me.
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 27, 2013 06:19 PM (prhS5)
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Jeez,'Duck, not the way to start spring. I had to be catheterized for my a-fib, but that was 5 years ago and it hasn't bothered me since. Hope this finds you in good spirits and feeling better. Take care.
Posted by: The Old Man at March 28, 2013 04:18 PM (JFB5K)
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Ow ow ow. Not fun. I've only ever had palpitations, myself, and that was bad enough. (The lesson was "some herbs in herbal teas are not your personal allergy friend.")
Posted by: Suburbanbanshee at March 28, 2013 05:20 PM (cvXSV)
3/15/2009: Never Forget
"A bat that apparently had trouble flying instead tried to hitch a ride on the space shuttle Discovery, NASA officials said. The animal was last seen clinging to the foam of the external tank of the space shuttle moments before the Discovery launched, officials said. NASA had hoped that the bat would fly away on its own, but admitted the bat probably died quickly during Discovery's climb to orbit."
May we all be as brave when we are afraid as Space Bat. Now he belongs to the stars.
My Favorite Joke...
I note that the Roman Catholic Church elected a new Pope today. Former Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio has now become Pope Francis, the first of his name. I've always been somewhat in awe of the position Cardinal Bergoglio now holds; whether one is a follower of his faith, some other, or none whatsoever, the Pope is the head of an organization that counts some 1.3 billion followers. That little fact deserves some respect, right there. But his elevation to Pontifex Maximus allows me the chance to roll out my all-time favorite joke, which is, alas, limited in times that it can be told and still be funny.
But first, some background. It is a winter's morning in 1992. The sky is blue and clear, with a sort of vividness that only occurs when it is bone-achingly cold... which it is. There's maybe a foot of fresh white snow on the ground, everywhere but streets, parking lots and sidewalks. None of the many people visible seem to notice the cold, however. That's because this is Minnesota, and the residents are used to it being below zero. Well, that, and everybody has on big hulking parkas that'd keep the wearer warm on the surface of Pluto.
Amongst these huddled masses, enter Wonderduck and his fellow grad student in lighting design, Mike. Mike and Wonderduck get along pretty well; they're both from Illinois, outsiders to these here Northerners. Further, they're currently the only theatre tech grad students and have the same grad advisor. To say they spend a lot of time together would be something of an understatement: they have the same classes, work on each others productions (example: Mike is a show's lighting designer, Wonderduck would be his master electrician, and vice-versa), help teach the same classes, and so on. The main difference between them is that Mike is pushing 40, while Wonderduck is in his low 20s. Both have an interest in history, however, that often left the other grad students bored and confused.
On this frigid morning, Wonderduck and Mike are walking from their reserved parking spots towards the theatre building, about a three-block stroll. Normally not a problem, on mornings like this it could be considered something of a trial for us Illinoisans and our thin "southern" blood. As we make our way towards the warmth of the tallest building in the city, we turn a corner that reveals the northern edge of the campus. The theatre building is there, and just to the west, across a wide expanse of courtyard (that I was known to fly kites from, even in January, but I digress), the Freshman Dorm building.
As anybody who's experienced bitterly cold days like this one will attest, things like vehicles and buildings appear to smoke a lot when it's frigid, and this day was no exception. Small cars would go by, leaving clouds of exhaust to rival any jumbo jet contrail. Buildings seemed to have their own external microclimate, wreathed as they are in clouds of steam condensate. For whatever reason, however, on this day the Freshman Dorm was pumping out enough of this stuff to make any nuclear power plant cooling tower feel inadequate, and it was all a pure, pristine white.
At this point, Mike turned to Wonderduck and said "wow, look at that." Wonderduck, suitably impressed, nodded and said to Mike "Yeah. You know what that means, right?"
A beat passed before Mike replied with excellent comic timing: "The freshmen have elected a Pope?"
Exunt two grad students, laughing uproariously.
And now you know why my favorite joke is only funny at very limited and specific times.
Getting Better, Not Gotten Better.
Hey everybody, I've got great news!
The Dacia Sandero will not be appearing in this post! Oh, and I'm feeling better already! As you may remember from that long ago post from... yesterday, I think it was, I had been diagnosed with bronchitis, suffered a damaged muscle in my side, and was generally feeling just rather medically unhappy. To solve the bronchitis, the doctor gave me azithromycin, an antibiotic that costs $15.52 per pill, which fact blew my tiny little mind and made me so very glad I have a full-time job with pretty decent health-care benefits. To take care of the muscle-thingy, he... well, he didn't really do anything. Not much he could do, to be honest, except say "find a position that makes it hurt less when you cough." I've done so, and I'm awfully glad my job tends to keep me in the back room. Makes it ever so much easier to
what, did you really think there'd be something naughty here? and then
you didn't learn the last time?. That's just embarrassing to do every time I cough.
But to deal with the unhappiness, he gave me Cheratussin AC. This is a foul tasting syrup that supports a dose of an effective expectorant... and codeine. Truthfully, it's not doing all that much other than making me cough, which hurts, but the codeine is making it not hurt so much. It balances out. The bad part of all of these wonderdrugs is that, well, I came home from work, had something to eat, then immediately crawled into bed and stayed there until just now... meaning I didn't do the first official post of the new F1 season tonight. I'll do it tomorrow, I promise.
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Heating pad is good for the strained chest muscle. Also that Vicks Vaporub. I suggest the Vaporub on your neck, not your chest, because overheated menthol isn't pleasant.
Also, chai tea with lots of spice and milk, and turmeric like the grannies in India would insist upon. This will distract you. (Obviously the optional germfighting shot of whisky doesn't mix with codeine.)
Some herbal teas include chamomile, valerian, linden, etc. to help you sleep, and they do work, but probably also don't mix with codeine. (Especially valerian, which tastes horrible and puts you out like a light.) If you're not allergic to valerian, linden, etc., this is good stuff. If you're allergic to pollens in the rose family, though, you're probably not going to like linden much.
Posted by: Suburbanbanshee at March 11, 2013 10:43 PM (cvXSV)
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Sure, sure. It's the widest, the lightest and the stickiest. The only question is why anybody thought it'd do any better?
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 13, 2013 04:21 PM (1BL+a)
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That tire-jumping video. On the one hand: Oh, JAPAN. Sigh. On the other hand... I can't believe how much I laughed at a bunch of tires being rolled down a ramp.
Maybe that's the sleep deprivation, though.
Posted by: GreyDuck at March 13, 2013 10:13 PM (xbP2x)
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Greyduck, I laughed waaaay too hard at the last one. Trying to get over a cold and it sent me into a coughing fit. It was worth seeing once though.
Posted by: Tom Tjarks at March 13, 2013 10:27 PM (k3SCe)
Why Create THOSE???
So, remember that cold I had? For the most part, the symptoms have gone completely away, except for one: the cough. The cough has stuck around like the last guest at a party, the one who just won't take the hint to get out. Still, it hasn't been a bad thing... it sounded bad, but really didn't hurt or anything like that. But then, last night, just as I was getting ready to go to sleep, I had one big cough...
...and it felt like most of the contents of those trays were jammed a spot just below my ribs on the left side. From the amount of pain involved, I thought I had just broken a rib. After a couple of minutes, I realized I hadn't, because I could breathe without pain. I went to the Immediate Care place nearby this afternoon. X-rays were taken, and the new diagnosis came down: I have bronchitis and perhaps a muscle tear. It only hurts when I cough. Or twist.
Or have this happen.
I've been given Azithromycin, and a prescription for a cough medicine that I want to have checked out by my doctor due to my heart thingy. But hopefully this will make me better soon... I don't want to be sick for the first F1 race of the year.
UPDATE: I realized just now that I never did get around to explaining the title of this post. When I ask "Why create those???", I'm referring to viruses that cause this whatever-it-is that I've got. Both Ph.Duck and his spouse are dealing with it, and from what he was told, the ick that's in this area is actually two viruses, one piggybacking on the other. One brings the cold/flu symptoms, the other carries the crap I'm dealing with. I'd love love love to know why these things came to be.
After the first sentence, I was ready to write a "go get checked for bronchitis" comment. Guess I didn't have to do that.
Two or three years ago, we had a combo of "common cold leading to bronchitis" and "friggin' laser beams whooping cough" running through the office. Thankfully(?) I only got the bronchitis version. So, you've got my sympathy. It sucks. (But it's better than whooping cough.)
Posted by: Mikeski at March 10, 2013 09:20 PM (DU6Ja)
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I was going to say, surely whooping cough isn't that common these days? Then I checked Google News, and turns out the answer is yes.
Since we've had an effective vaccine for years, it's pretty depressing.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at March 11, 2013 11:30 AM (PiXy!)
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You can't entirely blame the loss of herd immunity on Jenny McCarthy, but she certainly worked hard to make the anti-vaccination movement more popular. One more reason to remind people that entertainers are generally not our best and brightest...
-j
Posted by: J Greely at March 11, 2013 06:45 PM (fpXGN)
Snow Day! Snow Day!
Duck U is closed today due to inclement weather. To whit: lotsa snow!
It's a snow day!
UPDATE: As of 9pm, we're looking at 9.6" of snow on the ground here at Pond Central. Far and away our heaviest snowfall of the winter. In March. When it's supposed to be over and done with. *sigh* I tell ya, Nature.
Posted by: GreyDuck at March 05, 2013 02:25 PM (3m7pZ)
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Snowday for me too! Lot's of snow moving, nap, snow moving, a drink, nap, and snow moving.
Posted by: Librarian at March 05, 2013 05:41 PM (JQjLr)
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It was more of a "get woken up at 545am by the Duck U text message, watch the snow come down, goof off, nap, and now it's 6pm" sort of day for me, Librarian... glad you didn't have to do that drive!
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 05, 2013 06:07 PM (1BL+a)
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We got between 7 & 10 inches here in the Twin Cities. Morning traffic was a bit snarly yesterday but overall not bad. I think our threshold is in 15 inches and above range, then it overwhelms the plowing. This morning I was out at 0600 and only the side streets are bad, otherwise it's a normal winter day.
PS I'm mos def ready for Spring to sprung.
Posted by: vonKrag at March 06, 2013 08:42 AM (KTzaE)
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We didn't get any this year. I'm a bit disappointed.