November 19, 2010

Dogs Are Stupid, But At Least These Are Funny Too.

I don't usually do this sort of thing, but if you want to laugh until your spleen threatens to rip free from your sternum, go and read this post over at Hyperbole And A Half.  (via)

When I was growing up, we had a dog with the embarrassing name of Dribbles.  You can guess why Dribbles had that name (hint: it has nothing to do with basketball).  Dribbles looked like a cross betwixt a weinerdog and a German Shepherd... and the weinerdog had the dominant genes.  If she was a foot tall at the top of her head, she was wearing stilts.  Unfortunately for her dignity, she looked overweight at all times, even if she was normal size.  Imagine a football with tiny legs and you've got the right idea. 

Dribbles' idea of fetch was to have me throw a stick, she'd go running after it... and just keep going, as if the entire concept of "stick" would get shaken out of her skull once she began her sprint.  Ever seen a street car designed to dragrace down the quarter-mile accelerate off the line?  The rear end drops, the car gets light on the front tires, and if the engine is powerful enough it stays in a nose-high attitude all the way down... yeah, that was Dribbles trying to run. 

She particularly loved to run after a Frisbee.  On those rare occasions that she'd actually pick it up and bring it back, she'd start running until it dug into the ground.  At that point, one of two things would happen:
1) she'd go arse over teakettle, pinwheeling sadly.
2) she'd let go of the disc, run over it and THEN go arse over teakettle.

Dribbles was also an ill-tempered beast.  She'd growl at me at any time, for any reason.  Approaching the couch?  Grrrrr.  Walking away from the couch?  Grrrrrr.  Offering her some food?  Grrrrrr.  And on and on.  Then she broke a leg, got arthritis, and would growl at ANYTHING, just because she could.  It was pretty sad, actually, but after it was hard to blame her considering that the cast she wore was probably heavier than she was.

When she passed away, maybe 20 years ago, that was enough dogs in my life.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:46 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 You know, I never thought of Dribbles as being ill-tempered, just stupid.  Not a threatening beast in the least, really.  But dumb, yes.

Posted by: Vaucanson's Duck at November 22, 2010 02:36 PM (XVJDy)

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