Wonderduck's Pond

January 08, 2019

All Right. You Win. There. You Happy Now?

I'm sleeping in the no-longer-comfy chair. When I wake up in the morning, my feet hurt from swelling, and I've got what must be something like a bedsore on the back of my left leg... right where it sits on the end of the seat.

Getting out of the chair requires effort and pain... but at least I can do it. Shower, get ready for work...

...and then I have to face the NINE STAIRS OF DOOM. I have to go one-by-one, basically dragging my right foot off the front of the step until it falls to the step below. I then follow up with a normal stride with my left foot. Rinse, repeat. The best I've done was when I was surrounded by EMTs. This morning, it took about 10 minutes.

Get into the car, drive to work (not as easy as you might think... foot doesn't move without causing the muscle to twinge), get out of the car. Keep cursing to a minimum.

Walk the kilometer from the far end of the parking lot to the door. At least I have two canes now, that makes it a little more stable. Realize that your lunch break is seven minutes getting up and walking to the break room, 15 minutes hating life, then another seven minutes going back.

Finish up work. Trek to the car. Drag self into car, don't care about amount of swearing. Turn the key in the ignition. "Grunt. Grunt. Grunt. Grunt. Vrooom." The battery seems to be unhappy... and all the presets are gone on my radio. FSCK.

Drive home, apply brakes to turn into apartment complex, feel shoe fall off right foot, because why not? Take forever parking nose-out in case of battery failure. Walk up the stairs (much easier), get into Pond Central, and begin unwrapping my new memoryfoam mattress.

Realize new memory foam mattress is toying with me, refusing to unwrap from the first level wrap without tearing the second level and, I assume, exploding like a comfy jack-in-the-box. Give up for the night, come to the computer, realize there are only two cans of soda left in the house... and I can't exactly go shopping.

Any wonder why for a quarter I'd break down and sob for the rest of the night?

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:16 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 389 words, total size 2 kb.

1 The amount of trouble you're having sure sounds like it should be pretty easy to get your doctor to sign the paperwork for you to get at least a temporary handicap placard so you can park closer to the office, assuming there's sufficient handicapped spots.

Posted by: Rick C at January 09, 2019 12:03 AM (Iwkd4)

2 Ugh. When I slipped a disc a few years ago I at least had the luxury of calling in and saying I'd be working from home for a couple of weeks. None of that sounds like fun.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at January 09, 2019 09:08 AM (2yngH)

3 Hello! I've nearly completed reading your entire military history category.
I just wanted to comment on an old article of yours:
An Unfortunate Encounter - Your encounter with the vet in the supermarket.

My grandfather was the same way until the day he died. He served as a navigator on a B-29, and was getting ready for the invasion of Japan by the time, they basically told him the chance of survival was low. It's one of those things you played out in your What If...? article, if not for the atomic bombings I might not be here!

Anyway, he disowned one of his kids (my uncle) for a while after they bought a Toyota in the 90's, he just couldn't get over the "Jap" car. I was young then and didn't understand, but looking back, he basically was mad at anything German or Japanese most of his life.

Posted by: Paul G at January 09, 2019 11:40 AM (rpBhg)

4 @PaulG, thank you, you made this old duck happy for a second. I hope you were entertained. I assume you've wandered over from Reddit, probably r/warshipporn?

Posted by: Wonderduck at January 09, 2019 10:09 PM (PzbzM)

5 To be honest I'm not sure. I was over on bosamar.com reading about the Battle of Samar and I'm sure I got into some rabbit hole of links which then lead me here, but it could have been warshipporn too!

Posted by: Paul G at January 10, 2019 02:01 PM (wDu+n)

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