January 21, 2019
Fighting. Losing?
I'm tired, I hurt, I'm panicking, I'm depressed.
And I'm whining. That's all I seem to do around here these days... remember those wacky good times of "Next Week: More Zombies"? Yeah, fun stuff. Now I'm at the point where I have a new 12" memory foam mattress that feels like heaven but that I'm afraid to sleep in. Anybody here ever fast for more than a day or two? Back when I first hurt my leg, such things as "standing up" caused enough pain that it was common for me to say "I'm hungry... but not so hungry that I'm going to inflict that on myself."
Since the day I went to the hospital, so effectively the entire month of January, I have had four or five meals. Now, we're not talking lavish buffets or 10-course dinners served on platinum tableware, no. A bowl of soup. A few forkfuls of macaroni salad. A sandwich. That sort of thing. So, back to my original question: anybody here ever fast for more than a couple of days? Because there's a neat trick the digestive system plays when you do... you get epic bouts of the stuff pepto bismol is designed to slow (or stop).. And it occurs with little to no warning... wacky, huh?!?!
Is it possible to get refunds on life?
Posted by: Wonderduck at
08:30 PM
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1
Dieting is good, but you can't heal if you don't eat.
At the very minimum keep some multivitamins and water next to your bed.
I've been in this situation, and the acid reflux issue is a real nightmare.
Do the physical therapy!
They generally give you papers with basic PT moves. It helps. Not doing them doesn't. I have experience with both.
Amazon does deliver groceries I've used them when immobile.
Alas, life is an unsolicited product much like junk mail so no refunds are possible.
Get well soon.
Posted by: The Brickmuppet at January 21, 2019 09:29 PM (gxCG3)
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Re: acid reflux. last time this happened to me I found this very soothing. Chew an antacid with a mouthful of water until completely dissolved and swallow slowly. Works better on an acid-ravaged throat than just an antacid alone or sucking on one.
Posted by: Mauser at January 21, 2019 11:14 PM (Ix1l6)
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Oh, yikes, man. I wish I had practical advice or something. All I can say is, keep on keeping on as best you can.
Posted by: GreyDuck at January 22, 2019 08:38 AM (rKFiU)
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I'm sorry, buddy. I hope you find a path out soon. Would you care for a book recommendation? His Majesty's Dragon - fantasy about the Napoleonic Wars if everyone had dragons as well as ships. Pretty good. The author does a good job (imo) of translating naval warfare to dragonback.
Posted by: Kathryn at January 22, 2019 07:14 PM (iQ8GR)
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Kathryn, I like the concept. Sadly, and I mean
SADLY, I almost never read anymore. My eyesight is such that focussing on a book requires long arms or a pair of magnifying specs. And who has the time anymore?
Posted by: Wonderduck at January 22, 2019 09:23 PM (PzbzM)
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I got better glasses when I realized I wasn't reading as much as I used to. You probably could use reading glasses at work. Do they have a vision plan?
Posted by: Mauser at January 22, 2019 09:48 PM (Ix1l6)
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Oh, bummer. I don't know if that audio book is good, but maybe that's an option.
As for the time, I have a demanding job and two kids and still read about 200 books a year. It's a combination of reading scary fast and just really loving to read. I read while eating, exercising, cleaning the house, cooking, drying my hair, etc. - after nearly 35 years of practice, I can combine reading with any activity that leaves one hand and one eye free. (I did burn the garlic toast yesterday, though. Twice. Alas!)
Posted by: Kathryn at January 23, 2019 06:37 AM (dnKOD)
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Every time I think my life sucks, I read about yours. Doesn't cheer me up, by any means, but it helps with perspective.
Posted by: Ubu at January 24, 2019 01:06 PM (SlLGE)
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I had to sleep while sitting when that happened.
Posted by: Pete at January 28, 2019 09:50 AM (LZ7Bg)
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January 16, 2019
So What The Hell, Wonderduck?
I don't know if that's been thought by any of readers but were the circumstances reversed, I know I would be. I'll be honest: it's painfully embarrassing.
You may remember that I was taken to the hospital on New Year's Eve after not being able to remove myself from my bed for over a day. What you don't know is that a week later, it happened again. I thought my damaged leg was feeling better and decided to actually sleep in a bed. Bad idea. Once again, I called 911, once again the CVFD EMTs came out... except this time they were accompanied by the Fire Chief. He read me the riot act, then said that he'd be contacting the apartment complex and "other agencies." See, they believed my apartment to be a fire hazard... probably because of the piles of amazon boxes blocking the entry hallway, dining room and the front half of the living room.
Yeah. Remember back when I was fired from the Duck U Bookstore? Around about that time I began to lean more and more on Amazon for just about everything but food... Prime Pantry was a thing at the time, but it wasn't much of one. For a while I managed to keep the boxes under control, and then the winter came, your truly became a recluse, and snow and cold conspired to keep me that way. Then came the depression, after which very little of anything got accomplished. And the boxes kept a'comin'. I got a job, and I continued to not take boxes to the dumpster... not laziness, but simply because I physically couldn't.
See, I'm kinda overweight. That TLC show My 600 Pound Life doesn't have me on speed dial or anything, but I'm a lot closer to that than I am to 250 lbs. And the boxes kept coming... more slowly now that I could have many of them sent to my work address, but still they came. And I was either too stupid or too prideful to ask for help.
And then last thurday I get an e-mail from the complex manager: she and "other agencies" would be entering my apartment on Friday. I asked her to keep me informed, and left it at that... I had a job to do. The appointed time came and went, and around 3pm I took my lunchbreak and checked e-mail.
The very first one was from the County Health Department, informing me that my apartment was condemned as being unfit for human life in the condition it was currently in. The second was from the Apartment Complex manager, asking me to contact her ASAP. She had tried to prevent my place from being condemned, but failed... government workers don't exactly have a lot of leeway in their rules, after all. To be allowed to live in my own place again, all of the boxes had to be gone. She then gave me the number of one of her employees at the complex, someone who'd be able to help. I quickly called him, we agreed to meet at 11am Saturday, and we'd get to work. Along the way, I also touched base with the people from the County, then had a talk with my supervisor. "Take as much time as you need, Wonderduck." So then I left and ran back to Pond Central to grab some clothes and find a hotel.
Saturday rolled around, and the guy I hired showed up. We'll call him Beast, because what I expected to take four or five hours and maybe two days... took 2.5 hours. He had the easy job, though... I had to clean the kitchen sink. I'm pretty sure I killed off an emerging intelligent lifeform.
Monday rolled around. The powers that be congregated in my apartment, were pleased with the results, and took down the sign saying "CONDEMNED. THE PERSON WHO LIVES HERE IS A SLOB." And then said that I'm really just on probation... there will be irregular (but scheduled) visits to make sure progress is progressing.
There's a few other things I'm leaving out, but suffice to say that when you combine them all... well, I can't imagine being more humiliated than I am. Oh, and depressed. Whee.
So that's it, that's the story. Cool, huh?
Posted by: Wonderduck at
09:47 PM
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1
I guess setting the damn things on fire in situ was not an option you were given?
Posted by: Pixy Misa at January 17, 2019 05:08 AM (2yngH)
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Yikes. Well, your domicile has been given a reboot of sorts. Hooray for getting assistance and support from key people in the process. Hell of an experience though.
May things only improve from here!
Posted by: GreyDuck at January 17, 2019 08:37 AM (rKFiU)
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Oh gads. The precipitating factor to get me to pull the trigger on buying a small house (I had to get a loan from a family member, and deplete all my savings) was a warning from the apartment complex manager that I, and I quote, "Owned too many books and they presented a fire hazard." At that time I had three, seven-foot-tall bookcases, filled. Two smaller bookcases in my bedroom, filled. Some books on a shelf in my closet (If they didn't intend for the shelf to be used, why did they install it?). One (1) book out on my nightstand. Zero (0) books on the floor.
The manager oh-so-helpfully offered to rent me a storage unit....which they just happened to manage as well.
I said no thanks. They said fine, but they'd keep coming back to check on my place. I moved out that fall.
They lost a quiet resident who never complained and who paid on time. I've never looked back. I probably own close to twice as many books now.
But yes, I can 100% sympathize on how humiliating it feels to "get in trouble with management"
Posted by: fillyjonk at January 17, 2019 03:12 PM (o5UlT)
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I want "owned too many books" on my tombstone.
On the Amazon front, every once in a while I have to declare a "box week", in which my recycling bin will contain nothing but broken-down cardboard. This disappoints the people who search the bins at 4am for cans and bottles, but I make sure to leave them a neatly-bagged collection the following week.
-j
Posted by: J Greely at January 17, 2019 06:56 PM (LGSd2)
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As long as it was only boxes you lost, sounds like a good thing.
Friend of mine in Canada had a similar problem with a fire marshall, only the stuff they wanted him to get rid of were rare fanzines from the 1930's on.
Posted by: Mauser at January 17, 2019 08:59 PM (Ix1l6)
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Well, I'm glad it's nothing more serious. BTW, I don't remember if I mentioned that, but I started sleeping on the floor recently. It's much better for my back than any bed.
Posted by: Pete at January 18, 2019 04:54 PM (LZ7Bg)
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God bless, amigo. Glad to hear you've gotten good with TPTB. Your fans are in need of your wit and wisdom.
Posted by: The Old Man at January 18, 2019 08:28 PM (duGaw)
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BTW - so are your non-fans.....
Posted by: The Old Man at January 18, 2019 08:29 PM (duGaw)
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The Old Man! Long time no see! I've sent a few emails your way but the last few bounced back. Hope you've been well!
Posted by: Ben at January 18, 2019 08:56 PM (4TRZx)
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January 15, 2019
January 11, 2019
Quick Update On Going's On
I'm alive, but I need a hotel room for a few days.
More as circumstances allow.
Posted by: Wonderduck at
06:24 PM
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1
Take care of yourself!
(had a weird thought of you eventually having to process your own insurance claim....)
Posted by: Mauser at January 11, 2019 08:04 PM (Ix1l6)
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Well, the "need a hotel room" part doesn't sound good... but you're alive and that's the key thing!
Posted by: GreyDuck at January 11, 2019 11:00 PM (rKFiU)
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I meant to make a joke about ho-te-ru, but honestly I'm a little concerned.
Posted by: Pete at January 12, 2019 09:28 PM (LZ7Bg)
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You didn't have a fire, did you?
Posted by: Mauser at January 12, 2019 11:36 PM (Ix1l6)
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For the sake of preventing wild mass guessing getting out of hand: I've been in touch with Wonderduck and he is not currently deprived of life, liberty, or the pursuit of happiness. Nothing, as yet, has caught on fire.
Posted by: Ben at January 13, 2019 01:37 PM (4TRZx)
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Well, that takes all the fun out of it!
But seriously, take care Wonderduck.
Posted by: Ubu at January 14, 2019 03:57 PM (SlLGE)
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January 08, 2019
All Right. You Win. There. You Happy Now?
I'm sleeping in the no-longer-comfy chair. When I wake up in the morning, my feet hurt from swelling, and I've got what must be something like a bedsore on the back of my left leg... right where it sits on the end of the seat.
Getting out of the chair requires effort and pain... but at least I can do it. Shower, get ready for work...
...and then I have to face the NINE STAIRS OF DOOM. I have to go one-by-one, basically dragging my right foot off the front of the step until it falls to the step below. I then follow up with a normal stride with my left foot. Rinse, repeat. The best I've done was when I was surrounded by EMTs. This morning, it took about 10 minutes.
Get into the car, drive to work (not as easy as you might think... foot doesn't move without causing the muscle to twinge), get out of the car. Keep cursing to a minimum.
Walk the kilometer from the far end of the parking lot to the door. At least I have two canes now, that makes it a little more stable. Realize that your lunch break is seven minutes getting up and walking to the break room, 15 minutes hating life, then another seven minutes going back.
Finish up work. Trek to the car. Drag self into car, don't care about amount of swearing. Turn the key in the ignition. "Grunt. Grunt. Grunt. Grunt. Vrooom." The battery seems to be unhappy... and all the presets are gone on my radio. FSCK.
Drive home, apply brakes to turn into apartment complex, feel shoe fall off right foot, because why not? Take forever parking nose-out in case of battery failure. Walk up the stairs (much easier), get into Pond Central, and begin unwrapping my new memoryfoam mattress.
Realize new memory foam mattress is toying with me, refusing to unwrap from the first level wrap without tearing the second level and, I assume, exploding like a comfy jack-in-the-box. Give up for the night, come to the computer, realize there are only two cans of soda left in the house... and I can't exactly go shopping.
Any wonder why for a quarter I'd break down and sob for the rest of the night?
Posted by: Wonderduck at
10:16 PM
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The amount of trouble you're having sure sounds like it should be pretty easy to get your doctor to sign the paperwork for you to get at least a temporary handicap placard so you can park closer to the office, assuming there's sufficient handicapped spots.
Posted by: Rick C at January 09, 2019 12:03 AM (Iwkd4)
2
Ugh. When I slipped a disc a few years ago I at least had the luxury of calling in and saying I'd be working from home for a couple of weeks. None of that sounds like fun.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at January 09, 2019 09:08 AM (2yngH)
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Hello! I've nearly completed reading your entire military history category.
I just wanted to comment on an old article of yours:
An Unfortunate Encounter - Your encounter with the vet in the supermarket.
My grandfather was the same way until the day he died. He served as a navigator on a B-29, and was getting ready for the invasion of Japan by the time, they basically told him the chance of survival was low. It's one of those things you played out in your
What If...? article, if not for the atomic bombings I might not be here!
Anyway, he disowned one of his kids (my uncle) for a while after they bought a Toyota in the 90's, he just couldn't get over the "Jap" car. I was young then and didn't understand, but looking back, he basically was mad at anything German or Japanese most of his life.
Posted by: Paul G at January 09, 2019 11:40 AM (rpBhg)
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@PaulG, thank you, you made this old duck happy for a second. I hope you were entertained. I assume you've wandered over from Reddit, probably
r/warshipporn?
Posted by: Wonderduck at January 09, 2019 10:09 PM (PzbzM)
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To be honest I'm not sure. I was over on bosamar.com reading about the Battle of Samar and I'm sure I got into some rabbit hole of links which then lead me here, but it could have been warshipporn too!
Posted by: Paul G at January 10, 2019 02:01 PM (wDu+n)
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January 06, 2019
Update
Things are not well over here. Health is okay, so I've got that going for me. I just don't like much of anything else. Details when I can bring myself to enter them.
Good wishes would be appreciated.
Posted by: Wonderduck at
03:59 PM
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Uh oh...I suspect I know what your update will talk about it, and that is never a good sign.
Best wishes for you.
Posted by: cxt217 at January 06, 2019 06:08 PM (LMsTt)
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Blarrgh. All the good wishes, my friend, all I can spare (and right now luckily that's a lot).
Posted by: GreyDuck at January 06, 2019 09:39 PM (rKFiU)
Posted by: Will at January 07, 2019 09:14 AM (rWZ8Y)
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All the good wishes, Wonderduck.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at January 07, 2019 10:17 AM (2yngH)
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Keep punching, my friend. We are all pulling for you.
Posted by: Ed Hering at January 08, 2019 02:03 PM (/cXdK)
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Hang in there, Mr. Duck! This ex-lurker is wishing you every possible goodness.
Posted by: raven6294 at January 08, 2019 04:19 PM (ujHKu)
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"I yet live!" - John Carter. There is always hope.
Posted by: Mauser at January 09, 2019 10:09 PM (Ix1l6)
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