Well over a year ago, I sadly decided to do something I'd never done before: end an episodic writeup before I had completed the series.  That series was about a group of people who fought over half-priced pre-packaged dinners.  That series was Ben-To!

With the recent announcement that Funimation is going to be releasing the series in July, I went back and looked at the writeups I'd done, and watched the series again... and I've made the decision to pick it back up.  Look for the Episode 05 writeup soon!

The writeups for Ep01, Ep02, Ep03 and Ep04 are at those links.  Read up, won't you?  They're pretty darn clever, if you ask me...

Posted by: Wonderduck at 06:55 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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You know what this is, right?

Yep, it's a kickass scarf.  Or, more correctly, it's THE kickass scarf.  Some of you have sat up in your chair, eyes wide, knowing what's about to come.  The rest of you are probably a little confused, and I don't blame you.  Fret not, dear reader, all will be revealed in mere moments.  Just click "more", and let the emotions wash over you.  G'wan, do it.  You know you want to.  Everybody else is doin' it... you don't want to be the only weirdo, do ya?


more...

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You may remember that a few weeks ago, I hired Turret-kun to defend Nori, my computer against the sort of things that threaten computers in my fevered little brain.  Just what might require the strengths of a semi-anthropomorphized kawaii 5" gun turret floating on a life preserver to protect a computer is beyond me, but you never know.  It wasn't until recently, however, that I discovered that Turret-kun was lonely.  Oh, sure, he had that great smile, but it felt painted on.  Inside, I was sure, Turret-kun needed someone to serve.  So I arranged for Nori to join him.

Nori is, as some of you may have guessed, a Figma.  #201, as a matter of fact: Sae from Hidamari Sketch.  Wait, what?  The nice thing about Figmas is that they often come with simply amazing amounts of modification options.  This one, for example, came with two faces for Sae, an extra pair of glasses, ten extra hands in various positions... and the ability to turn her into Nori!  Compared to some, that's actually a fairly sparse amount of options.  It actually took a few days for me to decide to get it... Figmas aren't exactly cheap... but in the end I broke down.  They're not cheap, but they aren't all that expensive, either.  Which is why I picked up three other Figmas, which will appear here at The Pond soon enough.  Just for the record, though?  They haven't made a Rio Figma yet.  I think I'm a little sad about that.

A bigger pic of Nori and Turret-kun is just a simple click away!

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Good to see that Steven's readers are paying attention to the calendar!  Personally, I would never ever stoop to such a low tactic.

Never ever.

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Ladies and Gentlemen, we all know how dangerous everyday life can be.  One can be outside taking the blobfish for a drag when suddenly, BAM!, one explosive garbage can and your entire life is ruined forever.  And it's not just randomly detonating containers, no no.  Upon occasion, even things as innocuous as trees, concrete, pebbles, clouds, and sugar gliders are known to combust spontaneously like a trespasser at a Rammstein concert.  So what's a justifiably concerned biped with a relatively new and innocent desktop computer named "Nori" to do for local defense?  In this particular case, I decided to go right to the top... I hired Rensouhou-chan.

Or, as I prefer to call him, "Turret-kun."  If you're reading this blog, and I beg your forgiveness if you are, you've likely at least heard of a Japanese online game called "Kantai Collection," or "KanColle" for short.  KanColle is, if I've got this right, a game where you are a Fleet Commander, and your fleet is made up of anthropomorphic ships from the Imperial Japanese Navy during World War II... that are all young women.  If that isn't awesome enough for you, damage taken in the game is reflected by torn clothing.  Yeah, I know.  Did I mention that there's an anime coming out this Summer for the game?

Anyway, in the game, Turret-kun up there is the pal of Shimakaze, which in the Pacific War was a one-off "super destroyer".  41 knots top speed, a stunning 15 torpedo tubes, and six 5" dual-purpose guns in twin turrets... just like Turret-kun up there!  And he's perfect to protect Nori from wayward dangers like suicidal 'splody stoats.

I feel safer already.

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I have it on good authority that the legendary Rio Rainbow Gate! has been released and has already been shipped to customers with standing pre-orders at Bob's place. 

Posted by: Wonderduck at 09:43 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 I think your greatest legacy will be spreading the word that "It's not a flying squirrel costume!"...

Posted by: Siergen at March 15, 2014 02:37 PM (c2+vA)

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The Masarati Ghibli.  Yes, really.

I... um... I'm so very sorry.

In case anybody is wondering, the "Ghibli" name predates Studio Ghibli by about 20 years.

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Some months ago, I decided that I was going to do writeups for each of the new Evangelion movies, collectively called "The Rebuild of Evangelion".  This had the horrible timing of being at a time when my life suddenly got ridiculously busy, to the point where it took over seven months to complete the first movie's writeups.  At the end of the last writeup, I even expressed some doubt over whether or not I'd even attempt the second movie.

I have only abandoned one writeup series.  This will not become the second.  It's too ripe for my kind of writeup, I just can't let it pass unhindered.  So I promise to do this movie, and faster than seven months.  Deal?  Deal.  So let's get right to it!  The first movie was pretty much a shot-for-shot retelling of the first six or so episodes from the original TV show, though with a graphics upgrade and slightly less whiny Shinji... will the second film follow the same pattern?

That would be a big "nope."  Right off the bat, we're dropped into a scene that didn't exist in the show, with a new, unnamed pilot.  Stranger, much of it is in English, though stiff and stilted.  Eh, must be British.  Weird to see Japanese subtitles in an anime... anyway, this is the "troublemaker" pilot of Eva-05, which appears to be some sort of test unit.  There's an Angel attack under way, and this is, apparently, the first run of the unit.  Clearly, this will go nothing but well.

Oh, him we've seen before, though.  His name is Kaji, and he's some sort of double-triple agent spy for one faction or other... SEELE, NERV, S.H.I.E.L.D., ASPCA, whatever.  He showed up in the TV series to give Misato someone to sleep with, and who was then promptly shot.  Here, though, he appears to be present in some sort of advisory position to the... Russian?... Eva base.  As it turns out, the attacking Angel isn't a real Angel, it's the animated bones of the dead Third Angel, the one that caused the Second Impact fifteen years ago, and we're in Antarctica, where the Second Impact occurred.  None of this is explained, nor even inferred by the movie... I had to look it up.  Good storytelling, Evangelion!.  Kaji bugs out, and we return to...

It appears the Third Angel was a duck.  Well, yeah.  We still haven't had a clear look at the new Eva unit, though it appears to have wheels instead of legs.  A short fight ensues, the Duck Angel nearly defeats Eva-05, but at the last moment the Angel is defeated as the Eva self-destructs.

So that's it for the new Eva, the new pilot, and it all goes boom in a pink cloud.  Seems like something of a waste, don'tcha think?  All that excitement over a new character, and she's gone *boop* just like that!

Or, y'know, not.  Here she is, glasses and everything.  It's not like Gainax isn't trying to hit all the fetishes the TV show missed or anything.  Still don't know her name, though... or even that we'll see her again.  She IS floating in an ejected entry plug in a sea of Angel blood near what was Antarctica, after all.  Oh, and the nearest base was just wiped out, too.  Yup, gonna be a long time until she sees rescue.

Time to pause and refresh before we get into the real film!  Go ahead, I'll still be here.  I don't mind. 

more...

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Soon.

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I can do this.  I can finish this movie writeup by the end of the year.  I will.  It's been nearly four months since the last installment, and in all that time Shinji's face has been unpunched.  This can not be allowed to stand!  But then again, at the end of the last installment, he was being boiled alive inside Unit-01, so he may not be around much longer.  On the one hand, that means our last best chance for survival has just been killed, but on the other hand, it's Shinji.  The world might be a better place without his whiny arse.  Well, we won't know what's going on until we get into it, so let's just do this thing!

Okay, sure, he needed cardiac massage in the Entry Plug.  Okay, sure, everybody is running around frantically rattling off medical terms, none of which sound good at all.  Okay, sure, they put him in something that looks like a carbon fiber coffin and lock the lid.  Actually, I'm pretty sure they just did that because they wanted to.  I mean, wouldn't you???  Back up at the surface...

The latest Angel is apparently part duck.  If you don't understand the reference, count yourself very, very lucky.  If you do understand the reference... *brofist*.  Except, ew, what's wrong with you?  Anyway, it's digging its way down to NERV HQ, and ain't nothin' they've got 'bout to stop it, knowwhatI'msayin'?  They've got about 10 hours before it reaches HQ, Unit-01 needs serious repairs, Unit-00 (with Teh Rei) needs to be "recalibrated" before it can be activated.  Looks pretty grim, until Misato mentions something about the Japanese Self-Defense Force's "secret weapon" and activates Operation Yashima.

Within ONE HOUR, heavy equipment from around the country has been gathered around Tokyo-III and is beginning to do... heavy equipment-type things.  Huge cranes.  Giant earth-movers.  Triangular helicopters carrying stuff.  Men putting things on top of other things.  Industry!  Science and technology!  Something is mentioned about a "Positronic Cannon", which sounds cool.  After a couple more hours, things are coming together: Unit-01 is being fitted with a "sniping system," power cables are being run to Tokyo-III from all across Japan, and everything is a "go" at Midnight.  All that's needed is a pilot for Unit-01, but he's dead, right?

Dammit!

more...

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...but on the other, boo.  A couple of days ago, one of those things that managed to cause me both excitement and trepidation hit the torrents.  See, on the good side, two new Hidamari Sketch OVAs were released.  Hurray!

Unlike most entries in the HidaSketch franchise, though, this one came with a seriously dark, gloomy thing that's dark and gloomy.  Y'see, the title of this one is "The Sae & Hiro Graduation Arc", and when it ended, so did HidaSketch.  So as you can guess, I'm of seriously mixed feelings about this.

I mean, really, it's a great way to wrap up this wonderful series that's given me so much joy over the past six years, four series, 11 special episodes, and soon to be seven manga volumes.  But then, it's also wrapping up this wonderful series that's given me so much joy over the past blah blah blah yammer yammer yammer natter natter natter.  There's no surprises in these episodes; Sae & Hiro make it into their respective schools, tears are shed, smiles are had, heartstrings are tugged, and it all ends with a duck.

Well, not really.  But it should have!

It's a fractionally darker existence now, knowing that there won't be any new HidaSketch in the future.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 11:13 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Here is a picture:

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Not only was I intending to do another music post today, but I was also going to work on the final entry for Evangelion 1.11, too.  I had also planned to go grocery shopping early, have a nice lunch, and generally act the way real people do on Saturdays, instead of working like I have every weekend since mid-August.  All of that was my plan.  Instead, I didn't do a music post, I haven't worked on Eva 1.11, grocery shopping wasn't done until nearly 4pm, and I didn't have "lunch" until after that.  About the only thing I DID manage to accomplish is to take a nap... go me!  In lieu of anything approximating content, here's the closest thing to cheesecake in the show Hanasaku Iroha: a waterlogged Naku!

She just saved a self-loathing pr0n author from drowning; he's busy throwing up sea water just off screen, with all the attendant sounds you would expect from such activity.  That's why she's got that "duhhhhh" look on her face.  Quite an enjoyable show, by the way, I quite recommend it.

So.  Yeah.  Posting soon.  Cheesecake now.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:31 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Today was supposed to be the day that Media Blasters officially released Rio Rainbow Gate! on an unsuspecting populace.  I've had it on pre-order at Robert's Place for a week or so, and via e-mail, he was fairly confident that it was going to show up on time... not that MB is well-known for that sort of thing.  Anyway, I sat contented, knowing that RRG! is such a seminal work of anime greatness that they'd HAVE to release on time.  Any minute now, I'd see a confirmation from Bob that it had shipped.  Any... minute... now...

I finally shot Bob an e-mail asking what had happened to my Rio?  I figured it had to be one of three things:
1) The folks over at RACS just hadn't shipped it to me yet.  This was the least likely of the three options... they're just too good to let that sort of thing happen.
2) Media Blasters had peed the release down their leg.  This was the most likely reason.
3) I was the only person in America to pre-order RRG!, and Media Blasters had shut down out of embarrassment.  If you think about it, both of these are possible.

As it turns out, the answer is #2, though Bob was much nicer about it than "peed it down their leg."  That's me, all the way.  He explained that it could show up any day, and he'd let me know the moment he has any more information.  And THAT'S why I only buy anime from Robert's Anime Corner Store... the freakin' owner of the company has promised to contact me once he hears something.  I don't spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars a year over there; indeed, I never did.  Doesn't matter to him. 

Of course, I'm still waiting for Rio...

C'mon, Media Blasters... don't keep this duck a-waitin'!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:26 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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The whole "AMV Hell" concept, where multiple creators make short AMVs (sometimes less than five seconds long!) and they're put together in one long video, seems to have maxed out somewhere between AH3 and AH4.  AMV Hell 5 was, despite some laffs, pretty much a disappointment.

However, there was one clip that was so sublime, so perfect, so right, that even now, two years later, it makes me laugh out loud just thinking of it.  I am proud to share it with you now.

Bravo, Person Who Came Up With This Idea, bravo.

The music, if you're unfamiliar with it, is the theme to the movie Koyaanisqatsi, which I loved the first time I saw it, despite the crippling handicap of being neither high nor stoned.  Said theme was composed by Philip Glass, the master of taking a handful of musical nothing and making repetitive musical nothing out of it.  When I was a student at Duck U., lo these many years ago, I had the opportunity to attend a speech-cum-music theory class-cum-concert featuring Mr Glass. 

After the first fifteen minutes or so, I had never wanted to sneak out of something so badly in my life.  Unfortunately, I was attending with my Music Appreciation (aka "Clapping For Credit") class, the event was in Madison, WI, and we all rode together in a van.  I was trapped.  All I remember was the incessant "tweedlytweedlytweedly" sounds coming from The Maestro's keyboard. 

Despite this, the clip above is still hilarious to me.  And, I hope, to you as well.  Enjoy, won't you?

Posted by: Wonderduck at 08:22 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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In Part 3 of the epic writeup for the first of the epic new Evangelion movies, Our Hero Shinji got punched in the face by friends, then epically defeated Rio from Rio: Rainbow Gate! in an epic battle of epic proportions.  There was all that stuff about him epically not crushing his friends, too... and by friends, I mean "people who punch Shinji in the face."  But now, now we begin with the post-battle debriefing.  And by debriefing, I mean...

...punching Shinji in the face.  Misato's kinda upset that Our Hero disobeyed orders  ("recover your friends and retreat") to kill Rio, and as she berates him, he just sits there going "yes."  Until, in his Shinji-like way, he quietly points out that he won.  At which point, she yanks him to his feet and prepares to jam his teeth down his throat... in friendship!

In anticipation of making a new friend, Our Hero smiles.  Y'know what?  Our boy Shinji here, he's a little tetched in the haid, he is.  Maybe all that being punched in the face has permanently rattled his marbles, maybe he's just a masochist, or maybe he craves attention... any attention... and this movie is deeper than we all could have possibly thought.  When Misato doesn't hit him, he walks away, boards a train, rides it until it doesn't go any farther, walks around for a while...

...then gets shanked in a dark alley and wrapped in a cardboard box.  The Angels will now win, the Earth is doomed, and we'll all die screaming.  Dammit, Misato, next time just hit the kid!  The next day, he wanders around some more until he comes across some of his handiwork... a destroyed highway, probably caused when he tripped over it or something.  He complains loudly that he wants to go back to NERV, and...

...the people who had been following him immediately spring into action.  It's pretty clear he knew they were there.  Maybe he wanted them to punch him in the face?

Back at NERV HQ, Our Hero complains that he doesn't have any freedom, but he'll pilot Unit-01 anyway because everybody wants him to.  Misato says "pshaa, whatever, it's your thang, do whatchawannado," and leaves him sitting in the dark.  'Bout time someone stood up to his whining.

Meanwhile, Gendo Plushyferret sits in his office and chuckles conspiritorially.  It's all going according to plan, a plan "written 14 years ago."  The next step is to get Our Hero closer to Teh (hot blue-haired) Rei.  OVER MY DEAD B... did I say that out loud?  I did?

more...

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A couple of weeks back, we discovered that the giant robot designed to save the world, Unit-01, didn't actually need Our Hero, Shinji, to be able to defeat the attacking bad things, The Angels.  In fact, considering his performance up until that point, he probably just hindered matters.  Oh, and we also met Pen-Pen, the rare Hot Springs Penguin who is also God.  That last sentence isn't written very well, is it?  What I meant to say is that Pen-Pen is a rare Hot Springs Penguin.  Pen-Pen is also God.  As opposed to being the very uncommon Hot Springs Penguin that is God, which makes it sound more like a reoccurring thing, or that with enough Hot Springs Penguins you could have two that are God.  Wouldn't that be a hoot?

Uh... right, no, sorry, not a hoot.  Before He gets all pissy, let's move onto the real story... Shinji gets beaten up again!

I do find it somewhat amusing that the writers of Eva seem to hate Our Hero as much as we do.  Let's get him beaten up whenever possible, by whomever possible.  I'm surprised Pen-Pen didn't take a swing at him.  In this case, it's a classmate who's little sister was injured in the fight we saw last time.  Presumably when Unit-01 bled on her or something.

Pow, right in the kisser.  Shinji goes down like the sack of tomatoes he is, and his two new friends leave him there, bleeding into the dust.  That's often how I realized I had made a new friend.  I still remember when I first met Vaucaunson's Duck, how he ran me over with his bicycle, taking extra-special care to grind my young face into the brick street outside his house.  Nowadays we look back at it and laugh, but even then it was a special moment in my life.

Finally, someone at NERV has a bright idea!

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So Don is playing in Steven's yard, and for whatever reason that's driven Steven to play in my yard, so now it's time for me to play in Steven's yard, except it's not quite what he usually has in his yard, so it's more like I'm playing in the creepy shed in the corner of his yard.  Or some other yard-based metaphor that hasn't come to mind yet, your choice.  Anyway... behold!

Okay, they aren't red, but this is from Hatsukoi Limited, a series that aired in 2009, long before the current fad became a thing.  These... these are practically ur-red-half-frame-glasses!  Revel in this discovery, Steven, you seeker of special spectacles, for they may have been the harbinger of greater things!

Not that this isn't pretty great.

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A little over a month ago, I released the first part of the writeup for the first of the new Evangelion movies.  For a while there, I wasn't altogether sure there'd be a second part... this may come as a surprise to many of my readers, but these writeups often aren't the most fun things in the world to work on!  I'm sure you're shocked by this revelation, but it's really honestly true!  I mean, let's face it... it's not like the series I do writeups for are the best ever.  Then you get nominally good shows, like this one, that are sometimes unjustly lionized for their depth and subtle character analysis, when in fact they're just giant robot shows.  I exaggerate for effect in the case of Evangelion, but nobody who has seen the actual TV series can legitimately argue that, at its core, Gainax was just throwing crap at a wall to make pretty pictures.  Sometimes it stuck, sometimes it didn't, sometimes it hit walls in other rooms altogether.  In some ways, the movies improved on this technique so at least they're consistently hitting the wall.  That's a plus.

So if you remember correctly, at the end of the first writeup, Shinji Ikari, Our Hero, had just agreed to pilot the giant Eva Unit 01 after having Teh (hot, blue-haired) Rei literally dumped in his lap.  Well, yeah.  We pick up the action from that very point...

...or from the pr0n version of Tron, one of the two.  No, nothing phallic about the "Entry Plug" the pilot rides in, or that there's a graphic for "Plug Depth Status."  Nope... it gets worse when you realize (in the show at least) that the Evas are inhabited by the souls of the pilot's mothers.  Here, let me just stick two large pins into my eyeballs now.

I'm also not going to say anything about how, once the Entry Plug has reached maximum Depth Status and is fully seated, it begins to fill up with a sticky liquid called LCL.  I'm not going to say anything about it because I'm not as perverted as I seem to be... I'm fond of not plucking my eyes out of their sockets.  Though if I did, I could stop watching crappy anime and occasionally blogging about it for your enjoyment.

Libbets and Bunnymen, I present to you Unit-01 in all of its purple and green glory.  Looks kinda like a walking bruise, actually.  Well, standing bruise, as it hasn't actually moved on its own yet.  Like the Space Shuttle being taken to the launch tower, Unit-01 is loaded onto a platform under a tube that leads to the surface.  The command is given, and vwoosh!  Up the tube it goes, propelled by the power of ELECTRICITY!  HUZZAH!!!

This may not be the most subtle sallyport ever, seeing how the act of opening is accompanied by blaring klaxons, flashing lights and a massive rumbling sound as Unit-01 is propelled by the power of ELECTRICITY!  HUZZAH!!! to face the Alone Angel.  Stealth is, apparently, not an issue.  Which makes sense; we are talking about giant robots here... to them, stealth is hiding behind a skyscraper going "oh god, did he see me?"

We'll discover the answer to that question when you click...

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Before I get into the meat 'n' taters of this here writeup, I'm going to cover a little bit of history for those readers who may be not be of an age to understand what Neon Genesis Evangelion really meant to anime.  To call it a game-changer would not be overstating matters in the least.  When the series came out in 1995, it brought with it a number of things that have become commonplace in anime... psychology, deeper themes, mind-blowing imagery, flawed (sometimes deeply flawed) characters, on and on.  When it was first broadcast, it made fans of the show out of people who had never watched anime before, or not since they were very young.  What's happening right now with the Game of Thrones TV series, with people who'd never think of opening a sword-and-sorcery novel hanging on every second of the new episodes, that's what happened with NGE.

In short, it was very, very ambitious, and that's where the problems began.  It went so far afield from the norm that there was some confusion over how to take the show.  Then Gainax, the production house, ran out of money and the final episodes were full of long, long still shots, reused footage, and in the final two episodes, a distinct art shift.  In fact, it never really gave the viewers an ending... or at least an ending people could understand.  Despite this, NGE was a ridiculously big hit... so big, in fact, that Gainax has made a bulletproof cash cow out of the merchandise for the show.  It also spawned a multitude of movies presenting the "true" endings of the series... none of which are to be the subject of these writeups.

Instead, what I'll be doing are the three newest films, collectively called "The Rebuild of Evangelion."  They are... similar... to the original series in many ways, but very different in others.  Which doesn't matter a hill of beans to those who have seen the original series.  There is no doubt in my mind, and those of others, that it is one of the few "must see" shows for a fan of anime.  That doesn't mean that the watcher will actually like the show, but it will almost certainly create strong feelings in the viewer.  Some will be turned off by the dysfunctional emotional cripples that make up the cast, some by the rather graphic violence, some by the weird mindf*cks that occur, whether by plan or by happenstance.  Me, I liked the show, but I've no interest in rewatching it.  Having said that, I'm on record as saying that I think the movies are great improvements over the original series, and I'm actually looking forward to doing these reviews!  So enough of my blathering, let's get to it!

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