As hard as it is to imagine, these Great Guardians OVAs have actually created a small amount of storyline amongst the ridiculous fanservice.  No, I'm not talking about the "sexy cosplay" theme, but episodes three and four had the lingerie battle between Kan-u Unchou and Kakouen Myousai, that ended with the S&M assault on Koukin.  Storyline?  In my Ikkitousen?  It's more likely than you think!

But what does all that have to do with this OVA?  And who's our lucky contestant this time around?

^{...KC Royals two.}

Wait... that figure behind the titles... is it?  Can it be?

^{Why did my nose just start bleeding?}

It IS!  Ryomou Shimei, last seen rescuing Koukin at the end of OVA 4... and it appears that she's out for revenge.

As always, everything beyond this point should be considered extremely Not Safe For Work, but I'll warn you again, just to be sure.

^{Now Steven's got a nosebleed.}

Yep, it's Kan-u Unchou herself, picking up a few extra bucks as a grid girl, though technically the umbrella is supposed to be held over her driver.  I think we should petition the organizers of the Grand Prix of Japan to have anime characters be the official grid girls this year.  Who do I have to talk to to make this happen?

^{Even Mou-chan is amazed at how Hakufu's chest is drawn in this shot.}

Neither of them look happy.  Either there's a plot afoot, or they've got backaches... one of the two.

^{YES, there's a door.}

Kan-u takes a break from all that umbrella lifting.

^{They're trying to be sneaky, but they're standing in front of windows...}

The Wonder Twins (and Ryomou) have a plot running.  If they were just going to attack, they'd've done it by now... hell, Hakufu can't even spell subtle.

If you've ever tried to drink from a water bottle like this, you ended up with the contents down the front of your shirt.  Why in the world would the animators try to slip this by?

Oh, that's why.  Carry on, then.

But something's wrong...

^{*cough* *choke* *gag*}

For the protection of your sanity, please remember that, in this picture, she's dropped the water bottle.  Let me repeat this: she's dropped the water bottle.

^{*cue dramatic music*}

^{Mickey Finn... Mickey Finn, pick up the white courtesy phone...}

Out cold.  Ha.  Ha-ha.  Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa! 

The Dynamic Duo (and Ryomou) gloat, and prepare to take their revenge on Kan-u.  In a bright room with large windows and an open door.  Of course, there's no such thing as police in Ikkitousen, so they're entirely safe.  Dumb as a box of hair, but safe.

And how are they going to torture their captive?  What violence will they unleash upon her?

^*vroom*

Ohfer... y'know what, this seems even stupider than I've come to expect from these things.

^{*vroom vroom*}

^{*vroom vroom neeee-vrooowwwwwwww*}

Remember... Kan-u dropped a waterbottle earlier.  It's important that you remember that... 

...because if you don't, then you have to look at this picture in a completely different way.  Now, I KNOW what's happened here.  I don't care.  I'm rejecting the reality of the situation, and inserting my own: she dropped the water bottle and it spilled.  Damn you, animators, have you no shame?

What am I saying?  This is Ikkitousen.  Of course they have no shame.  Right now, I hate them so very much.

The scene then jumps back to the "sexy cosplay" table where all the girls are sitting... except for one.

^{Uh-oh... someone's pissed.  Pun intended.}

It's not often you get to see Mou-chan smile.  I choose to believe that she and Hakufu are the animators... and Kan-u is the manifestation of all my rage.  There's at least one more of these OVAs scheduled, and there's no way they can be considered as ecchi'er than Dragon Destiny's... but with this entry, they've certainly become more disgusting.  Blech.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:41 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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