F1 UPDATE!: Great Britain 2010

So did Red Bull run away with the race as expected, or did McLaren and Ferrari hold on to make it a challenge?  THIS is your F1U! for the 2010 British Grand Prix!

*ANOTHER RED BULL ONE-TWO... SEVEN?:  Mark Webber must be feeling somewhat aggrieved by the way his team is treating him these days.  Despite the fact that he'd won just as many races as teammate Seb Vettel and was only a few points behind him in the Championship standings while arguably driving better overall, Red Bull has obviously thrown their support behind the young German.  As an example, after the nosecone of Vettel's RB6 broke during Saturday's practice session, it was discovered that the team only had two of the new, more effective, design available for the race... and one of them was now ruined.  The other was on Webber's car.  Reportedly no less a figure than Dieter Mateschitz, king of the Red Bull empire and owner of the team, declared that Vettel would get the nose and Webber would have to use the older design.  Another example is when the team blamed Webber for the accident in Turkey, despite it clearly being Vettel's overoptimistic pass attempt that was at fault.  So it came as no surprise when the lights went out that Webber was in a bad mood.  A very good start put him alongside his pole-sitting teammate as they headed into the first turn, and on the inside racing line to boot.  It probably took Webber no time at all to decide to force the young German wide and entirely off the track as they came out of the turn, and there must have been a smirk on the Aussie's face as the reports of Vettel's tire puncture came back to him.  From there, it was relatively smooth sailing for Webber as he became the first driver this season to win three races. 

*ABOUT THAT SEVENTH...:  Last race we saw Gandalf Kobayashi go some 50-plus laps on a single set of tires.  This time around, Seb Vettel's puncture on the first turn of Lap 1 laid the groundwork for something potentially more impressive: an entire race save one lap on a set of tires.  When the young German came out of the pits after the tire change, he was not only dead last, but a full 30 seconds behind the car in 23rd place.  Yet he managed to baby his rubber well enough to still be going strong up to the penultimate lap, at which point they completely gave up the ghost and he started to lurch around Silverstone like a drunken sailor.  Yet being off the regular pitstop rotation turned out to be something of a boon, as he made up quite a few positions while others were getting their tires changed.  It certainly helped that he's in the best chassis, but a mighty effort to score anything considering the way the day started.

*HWMNBN SCREWS UP AGAIN: ...and again Ferrari is complaining about it.  On lap 16, the Ferrari driver was battling with Renault's Robert Kubica for 7th place.  After some tight wheel-to-wheel action, Kubica forced the Spaniard to go off-track or wreck both cars.  HWMNBN cut the turn completely, returning to the track in front of the Pole.  Gaining an advantage from doing such a maneuver is a definite (and clear-cut) no-no in the Sporting Regulations, but all he had to do is relinquish the position and everything would have been fine.  Instead, he accelerated off into the distance and even passed another car for 6th.  Then Kubica had to retire the car with mechanical difficulties, and while the Race Stewards were digging in the rules for the appropriate penalty, a Safety Car was called out for debris on the circuit, as Pete Rose's rear wing partially disintegrated due to the rumble-strip nature of Silverstone's asphalt.  When the drive-through penalty was handed out, you could hear the screams from Maranello here in Duckford.  Unable to serve the penalty behind the Safety Car, HWMNBN dropped from 6th to 16th when green-flag racing resumed.  Of course, Ferrari is saying that HWMNBN couldn't relinquish the position since Kubica retired shortly after the incident, and that the penalty should have come down sooner, and yadda yadda yadda.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Jenson Button doesn't much care for Silverstone, his home track.  He's never won there, he's never even finished on the podium, and after qualifying 14th, it looked like he'd have a hard enough time getting into the points.  Despite not being happy with the grip on the car, he still managed to bring it home in 4th place, mainly due to picking up a whopping eight positions on the first lap.  He still wasn't on the podium, but it was a heckuva run for the reigning World Champion.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  McLaren.  Yes, Red Bull got the win, but if things were happier on that team they would have finished 1-2.  The friction between their drivers cost them that lockout.  Ferrari just looked sloppy today, with two very bad pitstops late in the race and HWMNBN's gurning about.  Meanwhile, Lewis Hamilton hung onto the rear of the faster Webber and while he never got particularly close to the Red Bull, he was never very far away, either... it only would have taken one little mistake.  Throw in Button's semi-miraculous 4th place, and it was a very good day indeed for the team from Woking.

*MOVE OF THE RACE:  On Lap 31, we saw one of those fights that make F1 so interesting: a small team vs big team / youth vs experience clash.  Force India's Adrian Sutil was closing in on Mercedes' Slappy Schumacher.  Every time the younger German tried something, the older German would slam the door shut, making it clear that Shumi would have none of it.  Finally, Sutil got tired of the game and forced his way inside of Slappy, getting very very close to Mercedes... maybe a little too close.

Still, the talented youth (at least, "youth" in comparison to Slappy) made it stick, impressing the heck out of everybody watching.  Nice job!

*MOOOOOOOO-OOOOVE OF THE RACE:  Felipe Massa's race was essentially over halfway through the first lap, ended by a puncture caused by his teammate that forced him to limp into the pits.  Emerging in 23rd position, he was destined to spend the rest of the day looking at the rear ends of HRTs, Lotuses and Virgins as he slowly made his way back up to 13th.  Then on Lap 39, either due to tire wear or driver fatigue, his Ferrari suddenly spun into the last turn, neatly squaring off his tires.  Ah, but at least he was close to the pits, so he drove right into his box and stopped for new rubber.  And waited.  And waited.  And waited.  It took nearly 30 seconds for the pit crew to get the new tires out to the wounded car, let alone change them.  Ten laps later, the same thing happened again as HWMNBN suffered a puncture passing Vitantonio Liuzzi.  So split this one between Massa (for his unprovoked spin) and the team (for their lackadaisical attitude).  Bad job!

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

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F1 UPDATE!: European Grand Prix @ Valencia 2010

We've never seen a race where one event so completely dominated the results, but that's the only way to interpret what happened today.  But what happened?  And why was it so influential?  THIS is your F1 UPDATE! for the 2010 Grand Prix of Europe @ Valencia!

*MARK WEBBER AND THE TERRIBLE HORRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD DAY:  It's hard to imagine that any day in a F1 driver's work life could be considered bad, per se.  After all, they're F1 drivers.  Their job is to take one of the most technologically advanced race cars out on a track and go very fast with it... and get paid great honking stacks of money to do it.  It's dangerous, of course, but the cars are very safe and the drivers are very, very skilled.  What a F1 driver might call a "bad day at work" would be a day in the giggle factory for most of us.  "Oh dear, I had an awful day at work today, I only got my car to go 170mph instead of 180 and finished last in the grand prix.  May I eat some more caviar and champagne off the small of your back, Giselle, or would you prefer to peel me grapes and feed them to me?"  Terrible.

And yet, describing Mark Webber's day as "bad" isn't going far enough.  Starting from second on the grid, with his teammate just ahead of him, Webber looked to be in good shape for a high points-paying finish.  When the lights went out his start didn't seem too awful.  However, starting on the dirty side of the track, he wound up getting passed by cars that managed to slide onto the clean side before he could.  By the end of the first lap, he had dropped all the way to 9th.  His retreat ended at that point, but 8th place Sebastian Buemi proved remarkably tough to pass.  After seven laps of frustration, the crew on the pit wall changed his race strategy on the fly and brought him in for his mandatory tire change.  He returned to the race in 19th, but in the interesting position of having everybody in front of him still needing to make a stop.  All he needed to do was go quickly, not let the drivers ahead of him get too far afield, and when they made their stops, he'd leapfrog back up the standings.  His tires may not be as fresh as theirs, but a driver of his ability could work around that.  Two laps later, he had closed up on the Lotus of Heikki Kovaleinninninnie, and while it was a race for position, it was clear that the Finn had no chance of holding Webber behind for very long.  As they came down the back straight towards Turn 12, the Red Bull was in good position to pass under braking.

And then it all went terribly wrong.

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F1 UPDATE!: Canada 2010 (UPDATED)

We here at F1U! would love to tell you exactly what occurred during today's race, we really would.  It seemed like an exciting one, full of strategy and tense calls by drivers and the guys on the pit wall.  Unfortunately, I'm honestly not sure we'll be able to.  You see, today's Grand Prix of Canada was on Fox and while they had SPEED's Legendary Announce Team providing commentary, it wasn't their normal coverage... but we're getting ahead of ourselves.  THIS is your F1U! for the Canadian Grand Prix!

*...AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS:  We think we counted eight commercial breaks during the actual race portion of today's broadcast.  As this was a remarkably quick contest (only around 90 minutes, give or take), we missed out on a substantial portion of the actual contest while we were watching ads for deodorant.  For example, the Lotus of Jarno Trulli retired at some point with flaming brake discs... literally.  We never saw it, as it occurred during a commercial break.  The relentless (and apparently inviolate) network schedule also saw us head to a break just as HWMNBN was trying to pass someone for position.  Appalling.  Just as appalling was the Legendary Announce Team's coverage on the day, though this is somewhat more understandable.  You see, one of the main reasons we love the L.A.T.'s race call on SPEED is that they automatically assume that the viewer has, at the very least, a grasp of the basics of Formula 1.  This allows them to work in more detailed and intelligent conversation on the nuances of the sport.  Unfortunately, when the races are on Fox, they must assume the complete opposite, that the people tuning in have little to no idea of what actually goes on during a F1 race.  As a result, they "dumb down" their call, having to spend time explaining, for example, why the T-camera on each car is a different color... or, for that matter, what a T-camera is!  They also spent time explaining why there's so much red in the grandstands, the rivalry between Ferrari and McLaren (and why it mattered to the sport), and most tellingly, the difference between a F1 car and your average NASCAR vehicle.  All of this makes perfect sense, as Fox is the home of NASCAR and most of the people who'd be watching are fans of that form of motor racing.  But when they have to spend five minutes explaining how the race is actually started, you know that it's going to be a long day for the knowledgeable fan.  As we here at F1U! use the comments of the L.A.T. to identify the key moments of each race, not having the smart banter around made this something of a frustrating day.

*TIRE RACE:  Which is a bloody shame, because if there was a race that needed the sort of in-depth, expert comments that the L.A.T. provides during their SPEED coverage, it was this one.  More than any other contest this season, the Grand Prix of Canada was a race of tire strategies.  During the Quals writeup we here at F1U! said that it looked like McLaren and Lewis Hamilton were going to be in trouble, since they were on the soft tires and the Red Bulls were on the hard.  As the softs were only very slightly quicker and much less durable than the hard rubber, we expected the Red Bull duo to hang with the McLaren until the faster tire fell apart, then jauntily head off into the sunset.  Except, it didn't happen that way.  Hamilton won, with his teammate Jenson Button right behind (for the second consecutive race, no less), and Ferrari's HWMNBN was third.  Neither Red Bull was ever really a contender, but we couldn't tell you why that any of those cars finished where they did.  Except for one thing: the tires today were crap.  It all came down to the tires, and because the L.A.T. had to explain to the viewers why there were so many people servicing the cars during a pit stop, they couldn't explain the nuances of what was actually occurring, both on track and on the pit wall.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Lewis Hamilton was supposedly on the wrong tires, with a car slower than the Red Bull.  Yet, somehow, he made it work and won his second race in a row.  In fact, upon reflection, it wasn't even really a contest... you never got the feeling that he wasn't in control of the outcome at any time during the day.  What more can you ask for?

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  McLaren, surely.  Their second 1-2 finish in a row, they've moved to the tops of both Championships, and their cars were bullet-proof while Red Bull's Seb Vettel had "an issue" that was, it seems, nearly terminal.  Again.  Good job, boys.

*MOVE OF THE RACE:  Not to sound like a broken record, but this one goes to Lewis Hamilton.  On Lap 15, he was in third, trailing close behind leader Sebastian Buemi (yes, really) who had yet to make his first pitstop and Ferrari's HWMNBN.  Coming down the run into the Champion's Wall chicane, he got a tow behind the Ferrari and broke to the outside while HWMNBN moved inside to close that option off... which is what Hamilton wanted him to think he was going to do.  By faking the Ferrari out, he skipped from the tow of the Ferrari directly into the slipstream of the leading Toro Rosso.  As the McLaren began to ease ahead, we began to become concerned as it looked like he was going to just run the slower Toro Rosso over.  Just as Hamilton needed to decide whether to evade or go for the chicane, Buemi went straight on into the pit lane, opening the way for the McLaren driver to make the pass cleanly... a pass that, it turned out, was actually for the lead.  Very nicely done, but we can't help but wonder if he had gotten information from the team that Buemi was going to pit.

*MOOOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE:  Usually we here at F1U! prefer to give this award for bad driving to one specific event; a driver being distracted by something shiny and wiping out half the field, for example, or a pit stop where the car drives off before everybody is done working and dragging the rear jackman halfway down the pitlane.  Today, however, we're going against our preferences and instead giving the award based on an entire body of work.  Slappy Schumacher, as the announcers are wont to tell us every time his car is on screen, has more wins than anybody else in F1 history (and his win total is more than the number of starts that 12 drivers in the field had... combined) and is a seven-time World Driving Champion.  While it's fair to wonder just how many of those victories would have been taken away from him if Ayrton Senna had survived that terrible weekend in Imola, there's no question that Slappy is on the short list of the greatest F1 drivers of all time.  None of that mitigates the performance he put in during today's Canadian Grand Prix.  He didn't just look slow out there on track, but dangerous as well.  He was involved in the usual Turn 1 hijinks, losing an endplate in the process.  He later bulldozed Robert Kubica off the road while "defending his position" at Turn 5, sending them both off on some agricultural racing.  Late in the race, he moved aside to allow the faster Felipe Massa pass him going into the final chicane, then dodged back into the racing line at the last moment, crunching the Ferrari's nose in the process.  It's poetic justice that he was passed on the last lap by the two Force Indias, dropping him out of the points, and with any luck he'll be penalized for dangerous driving in the post-race review.  None of this is new, of course; he was always aggressive-on-the-verge-of-dangerous, but when he was with Ferrari he could get away with it because he was Der Schumi.  Now?  Not so much.  It couldn't happen to a better guy.

UPDATE 641pm: Slappy wasn't even given a... er... slap on the wrist.  No penalties.  Felipe Massa, on the other hand, was given a 20sec penalty for speeding in the pit lane after Slappy broke his nose.  This didn't affect his final position, so it's pointless.  Robert Kubica was given a reprimand for his action involving Adrian Sutil (see below), and NKOTT got the same for causing an accident with Rubens Barrichello on the start.

*DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

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F1 UPDATE!: Turkey 2010

What an amazing race.  We here at F1U! are still buzzing over today's action from the Istanbul Otodrom, and the implications for the rest of the season might be endless.  THIS is your F1 Update! for the Grand Prix of Turkey!

*ACTION-FILLED NON-ACTION:  As the race approached, the weather was warm and clear, though a rainstorm was visible off in the distance.  The sunny skies made the track very hot, nearly 120° F, and the first casualty was the grid girl of Jenson Button, who passed out from the heat.  Jenson's father took up her duties (becoming the ugliest grid girl of all time) while she was carried away.  Reports are that she's fine.  When the lights went out, and stop us if you've heard this before, the Red Bull of Mark Webber had a rocket start and streaked away from the field.  Except this time, three other cars came with him, Lewis Hamilton, Seb Vettel and Button.  Together, they left the rest of the field in their collective dust.  Unlike the previous races however, Webber just could not open up any sort of lead on the two McLarens and the other Red Bull; no more than a second would cover first to fourth for nearly the first 40 laps.  From fourth to fifth however was a different story altogether as the breakaway was about a second a lap faster than everybody else.

While the two Red Bulls and the two McLarens ran away and hid, Hamilton and Webber began a fascinating duel.  The MP4-25 was faster in sectors 1 and 3, but the RB6 had the advantage in sector 2.  Lewis would close up right onto Webbo's diffuser as they approached Quad-8, but would lose nearly a third of a second going through the classic turn.  He would then make the time up as they went around the track, only to have everything repeat as they went into Quad-8.  With tiny variations, this process went on for the first 16 laps, and the breakaway had opened up a nearly 30-second lead.

*WON AND LOST:  In a tight race like this, pitstops are crucial and when Webber and Hamilton came in on Lap 16, you got the feeling that the driver that got out first would win the race.  Red Bull got their man in and out cleanly, while McLaren had a small hangup on Hamilton's right-rear.  By the time Lewis started moving, he was again behind Webbo.  If it wasn't for that, it looked like the rest of the stop was fast enough that Hamilton should have come out ahead.  In fact, he came out in third, having been leapfrogged by Seb Vettel who pitted on Lap 15.  Suddenly we were looking at another Red Bull 1-2.  The race continued much as it had prior to the pitstops with Webber in the lead, but unable to shake the three drivers behind him, though the challenger directly behind him was now his teammate, who was being harried by Hamilton.  Button was about a second or so behind his teammate, an eternity in comparison to the way things had been going.

*MOOOOOO-OOVE OF THE RACE:  And so it went for another 23 laps.  Hamilton could close up to Vettel, but would lose out on Quad-8 and drop back.  Then he began to lose a tiny bit of time here and there, and while he was still in contention he was no longer an in-your-face (on-your-diffuser?) threat.  Meanwhile, it seemed like Webber had either worn his tires a little bit or had stopped trying to push his accelerator through the firewall, as Vettel was beginning to cast covetous glances towards his teammate's lead.  On Lap 40 Vettel made his move as the two Red Bulls charged down towards Turn 12.  Webber drifted over towards the left, taking them both off the racing line as Vettel pulled alongside.  At this point, it looked unlikely that either Red Bull would be able to make the turn cleanly, but it looked safe.  And then...

The second-biggest sin a driver can commit in autoracing is taking out your teammate.  The biggest sin a driver can commit in autoracing is taking out your teammate when you're 1-2, and that's what Seb Vettel ahd just done.  As he pulled alongside his teammate, he seemed to twitch to the right, taking himself into Webber's left sidepod.  Vettel immediately went into a spin that ruined his suspension, taking Webber off-track with him.  Miraculously, the Aussie suffered no damage other than a mangled front wing from the whole event, but both McLarens swept by as the two RB6s untangled themselves.  The reaction from Red Bull's pit wall had to be seen to be believed.

*MOVE OF THE RACE:  Now it was a McLaren 1-2 as Webber limped to the pits.  The domination of the lead pack became clear when you realize that he dragged his injured car into the pit lane, had a new nose and tires put on, and exited the pits still in third place, still with an eight second lead over fourth place Slappy Schumacher, yet was over 30 seconds behind the leaders.  And suddenly, it was Jenson Button who got a sniff of first place.

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F1 Update!: Monaco 2010

A beautiful day over The Principality, absolutely perfect for a little racing fun!  Would the drivers provide?  THIS is your F1U! for the 2010 Grand Prix of Monaco!

*TWOFER:  After squeaking out the pole from the Pole, Red Bull's Mark Webber had to have been feeling awfully confident as the lights went out.  And as it turns out he was right to be, screaming away from the rest of the field as if they were standing still.  It seemed that the only thing that could keep him from lapping the world was the four safety cars that came out during the race.  That he spent the entire race waaaaay in front of his younger, supposedly more talented, teammate Seb Vettel had to make it all that much sweeter.  Throw in the fact that he's now led every lap for the past two races and the Aussie has got to be livin' large right now.

*OHFER:  On the other hand, Virgin, Lotus, HRT, Williams and BK-Sauber have to be wondering which racing god they've pissed off.  All five teams failed to get either of their cars to the finish line.  This can't be what Peter Sauber was thinking when he got back into F1...

*DRIVER OF THE RACE: Well, duh, Mark Webber.  He didn't quite have enough of a lead to stop and have a drink at the bistro at Rascasse during the race, but it sure seemed like it at times... and I'm sure he would have done so if he could.  Honorable Mention goes to Robert Kubica for bringing his Renault home in third.  While he lost 2nd place to Vettel right off the line with a mediocre start, he kept the pressure on the younger of the two Red Bull drivers for nearly the entire race.  If the Renault was a slightly better car he could have done more than just hang grimly on the RB6's rear wing, but you make do with what you've got, and Kubica did more than anybody could have honestly expected.  

*TEAM OF THE RACE: Red Bull.  This season has all the signs of becoming a laugher if the RB6 can stay in one piece.  When they do, you get the sort of result we saw in Spain and today in Monaco: runaways.  Don't let the 1.6-second gap from Webber to Kubica fool you, that was only because of the safety car that came out with just a few laps remaining; it should have been closer to 10-15 seconds.  The team has the best car, two of the best drivers (and arguably the best young driver in Vettel), the best aerodynamicist, tons of money to throw at any problem... it could get ugly for the rest of the field.

*MOVE OF THE RACE: Take your pick between any of the four passes HWMNBN put in at the Chicane.  Yes, they were all against the backmarkers, but only Jarno Trulli really got out of his way.  All the others were actual fights for position, and all of them were impressive feats of car control and cojones.  Honorable mention goes to Slappy Schumacher for his (not seen in the US) pass at Rascasse against HWMNBN... on the last lap, under safety car conditions.  For the record: you can't do that.  Almost got away with it, too.  Instead, he was handed a 20 second penalty and dropped down to 12th... but it was audacious, I'll give him that.

*MOOOOOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE:  We here at F1U! love Monaco, simply because there's always a clear-cut Mooooooo here.  Except for this year.  This year, we've got three excellent contenders for the trophy!  The first would go to the McLaren crewman who neglected to remove the blank from Jenson Button's left sidepod radiator inlet as he made his way to the grid.  Of course, this turned his engine into a steaming pile of slag that let go on Lap 2 while behind the first safety car.  Bravo, that!

The second candidate is Mr Maturity himself, Rubens Barrichello.  After something broke at the rear of his Williams on Lap 31, he went spinning and bouncing down the track at Massanet, coming to rest facing the wrong way.  Understandably frustrated and angry at being sent into the barriers at around 150mph, he did something that he of all people should know was stupid and dangerous.

See what that arrow is pointing at there?  It's his steering wheel, which Rubens threw out of the cockpit in his frustration.  Now, after a spring came out the back of his car last year, nearly killing Felipe Massa, you'd think he'd know better.  See that blur there?  That's Karun Chandhok's HRT.

Where's the steering wheel?  That's right, it's somewhere under the HRT... $20000 worth of steering wheel being dragged along by (or imbedded into) a F1 car: not cool, Rubens, not cool at all.

But there can be only one winner, and the Mooooooo-ooove for the 2010 Monaco Grand Prix goes to a prior winner of this race, Jarno Trulli.  With a scant seven laps remaining, Trulli's Lotus was behind the HRT of Karun Chandhok, and while he was slightly faster than the Indian, he could not get past at all.  Finally, he thought he saw an opening and lept into the breach.  Unfortunately, he tried this at Rascasse, one of the narrowest and slowest corners on the circuit and a place where nobody tries to pass... ever.  The result was both predictable and horrifying.

Commentators have said that the rollbar in the HRT's airbox did its job by protecting Chandhok from taking the rear of the Lotus in the face, and I suppose that's true.  However, the tire mark on the HRT driver's helmet tells a slightly different story... a couple inches lower Trulli would have neatly decapitated the rookie.  However, since he didn't, he earns the Moooooooo-oooove of the Race for the worst passing attempt at the worst place imaginable.  Way to go, Jarno!

*SELECTED DRIVER COMMENTS OF THE RACE:

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F1 Update!: Spain 2010!

A beautiful if breezy day in Barcelona today, which boded well for Red Bull and ill for everybody else.  But did it work out that way?  THIS is your F1 Update! for the 2010 Grand Prix of Spain!

*YUP...:  When the lights went out, Red Bull's Mark Webber outran his teammate and McLaren's Lewis Hamilton to the first turn, fought off passing attempts through the turn, then disappeared over the horizon.  Along the way to his first win of the season, he managed to lap everybody up to 9th place, and was only 10 seconds from the battle for 7th.  If one race can answer the question "who's got the best car on the grid," this race emphatically answered "Red Bull."

*...AND NOPE:  Except for one thing.  The other RB6, driven by Seb Vettel, showed the other side of the Red Bull, the fragile side.  Somewhere in the back third of the race, the electric motor that controlled the adjustable wing on the left side of the nose failed with the flap in the "up" position.  This blocked airflow to the cooling duct for the front-left brakes, and with 15 laps to go they gently failed.  While he was able to continue on, his car was crippled.  Braking was accomplished using the rear brakes only and early (and dramatic) downshifting.  Even with all that, he had problems negotiating some turns.  Vettel ended up on the podium, but on the third step after his crippled car was passed by HWMNBN... and only because of a catastrophic failure on Lewis Hamilton's car.  While it's become clear that the RB6 is somewhat more fragile than the average F1 car, Webber's lack of breakdowns makes one think that perhaps Vettel puts added stress on his chassis because of his (successful!) driving style.

*UNLUCKY:  When Vettel's car broke, Lewis Hamilton had it made.  He'd held second place since the first round of pitstops around lap 15, but was nowhere close to Webber.  The other Red Bull had grimly hung onto the McLaren's rear wing, ready to pounce if he made an error, but the brake failure took even that threat away.  Thus, Hamilton had 2nd place sewn up... all he had to do is make it to the finish line.  During this very race in 2008, Hamilton's teammate Heikki Kovaleinninninnie picked up a bit of gravel that got stuck in the left-front wheel rim and machined through the suspension, causing a terrifically violent accident.  Today, Hamilton had something similar occur with two laps to go.

That screenshot is the exact moment the failure occurred, but if you go back and watch the video you can see the tire moving around on the rim a few seconds before everything went south.

While it looks dramatic, the resulting accident was nowhere near as bad as Heikki's.  Instead of going straight into the tire barrier, Hamilton had enough control to continue turning.  As a result, he hit the barrier at an angle and skimmed off.  No question it was a hard ride, but in the end it was nothing extraordinary.  Except that it cost him 2nd while gifting HWMNBN the place.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  When you don't see the leader in the time between his last pitstop around lap 16 and the final lap, you know he's had an easy day of it, and that's exactly what happened today.  Mark Webber won by 24 seconds over Ferrari's HWMNBN, and it really wasn't even that close... the Red Bull driver dialed down his engine with 10 laps to go.  Basically the perfect race for the Aussie, and one that's got to make everybody up and down the field nervous... including his teammate.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Red Bull.  Even though they lost the 1-2 finish when Vettel broke, they still finished with both drivers on the podium.  The team coached Seb home with his crippled car, though it seemed like he didn't always listen to the pit wall.  Still, as grim as Vettel's situation was, Webber's was the complete opposite.  A solid day for a team that needed it.

*MOVE OF THE RACE:  There was only one of any note.  An unlucky Nico Rosberg, who suffered a horrible pit stop and thus was dropped to the rear of the pack, got caught behind Nico Hulkenberg for nearly 10 laps.  Finally, either in frustration or anger, Rosberg slipped inside the Hulk going into La Caxcia, not a normal place to pass someone.  That's it.  Here's your MotR, Nico.  Maybe next week we'll have more to choose from.

*MOOOOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE:  Today was the first race of the year where the backmarkers really caused problems on the track.  In particular, HRT's Karun Chandhok proved to be rolling trouble.  First he couldn't (or wouldn't) give Felipe Massa enough room to get past, claiming a front wing element off the Ferrari in the process.  Then a few laps later, Toro Rosso's NKOTT, racing for points, tried to go around the outside of the slow n00b.  The result?

A spin for the Toro Rosso, a lost nose and a broken suspension for the HRT.  Not pretty, and well-deserving of the Moooo. 

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

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F1 Update!: SPAIN 2010! is delayed

It's still coming, but it'll be later tonight, maybe 10pm Pond Standard Time or so?  Don't miss it!

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F1 Update!: Grand Prix of China 2010

The F1U! Staff stayed up very late to watch this race live, so we're a little wiped out right now.  However, the show must go on, and THIS is your F1 UPDATE! for the 2010 Grand Prix of China!

*WHOOPS!:  Red Bull sat on the front row and looked like the clear favorites to win the race, but nobody counted on the great equalizer of F1: rain.  As the cars sat on the grid before the recon lap, it began to spit, but nobody seemed particularly concerned.  Indeed, during the pre-race coverage the rain stopped and started a couple of times.  In conditions like that the drivers have to be a bit more aware of the track, but on the whole slick tires can handle it.  Vettel had to be feeling particularly confident; he's considered one of the best rain drivers in F1, along with Lewis Hamilton and Slappy Schumacher, and he had the fastest car... "bring on the rain," he must have been thinking.

*UH-OH:  From the start, it was obvious that this was not going to be a normal F1 race.  When the lights went out, Ferrari's HWMNBN looked like he had the greatest start ever from 3rd, while Vettel seemed to be a little slow getting off the line.  The Red Car's start was so good, in fact, that it was in front of the two Red Bulls and pulling away, even before the thundering herd reached the first turn.  Too good, as a matter of fact: HWMNBN had jumped the lights and was nearly a half-length out of his grid slot before the starting lights were extinguished.  He'd get a drive-through penalty for that infraction, which would normally be the kiss of death for his chances... but this to be was no normal race.

*GEEZ, NOW WHAT?:  Back in the horde, Force India's Vitantonio Liuzzi was having difficulty.  He'd been unable to get much in the way of heat into his tires on the recon lap due to the weather conditions: cloudy and about 70 degrees.  At the start, he managed to pick up a position or two but when it came time to apply the brakes for Turn 4, he locked up his rears altogether.  The car became an uncontrollable object, and he arrowed (backwards!) right into the path of the turning Seb Buemi, collecting Kamui Kobyashi in the process. 

The hulks came to rest just barely off the asphalt which was bad enough, but debris from the crash was scattered all the way across the turn.  It was obvious that the track workers couldn't get the wreckage clear in time, and Charlie Whiting called out the Safety Car... a move that, in retrospect, played hob with almost everybody's plans.

*FACEPALM: As the field perambulated behind the Safety Car the rain began to pick up.  This sent many of the cars, led by HWMNBN and Red Bull's Mark Webber, to the pit lane for Intermediate tires.  Seb Vettel lost out on this exchange, being forced to stack behind his teammate in the pits, and losing a ton of places in the process.  Not all of the cars pitted however, as Mercedes' Nico Rosberg, McLaren's Jenson Button, and both Renaults stayed out, placing those four in the lead as the Safety Car came in on Lap 3.  The question became how long they'd be able to stay out on slicks as the rain continued to come down.  Once the race restarted, it became clear that a little more than half the cars were on Inters and praying for rain, and the rest were hoping it stayed dry... and it only took a lap for the teams to realize that those who stayed on the dry tires had made the right decision.  Slappy Schumacher was the first to come in for a second change of tires, followed by everybody else on lap 5.  The Inters had already been worn smooth, killed in two laps.  All these pit stops had the effect of scrambling the grid, not aided by HWMNBN'd serving his drive-through penalty on top of two stops for tires.  This gave us some fun, if not confusing, racing as the heavy hitters wound their way through those teams less fortunate.  Somewhere around lap 18, race leader Nico Rosberg badly blew a turn, allowing Jenson Button to get past him for the lead.

*AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH: On lap 20, it began to rain again, and again it was decision time.  Webber and Slappy came in for Inters first, followed by the two Ferraris who were running together.  In a bizarre incident, HWMNBN intentionally forced his teammate into Hamilton Beach, overtaking Massa in the entry to the pit lane.  Button and Rosberg came in together a lap later for rain tires.  Then the Gods of Racing played a practical joke on NKOTT, breaking his front wing pylons.  He barely made it into the pit lane before they let go altogether, sending the wing under the car and throwing carbon fiber shards all over the pit entry.  As a result, another Safety Car was called out (for reasons that are unclear).  This was a gift for those in the field that had goofed to begin with, as Button, Rosberg and Renault's Robert Kubica had opened up a nearly-50-second lead, which was now cut to nothing.  The Safety Car came in on lap 25, and weirdness ensued.  The SC leaves the track early at Shanghai, allowing the leader to control the pace leading up to the start/finish line, and Button drove as slow as a 90-year-old grandma in a Chevy Land Cruiser, causing the field to bunch up like rush-hour in Chicago.  At one point, the accordion effect had the field four cars wide as everybody tried to whoa up and not pass accidentally. 

*TAKE A DEEP BREATH: On Lap 35, the leaders came in for their second stops for fresh Inters (contrast this to everybody else, who were on their fifth or sixth stops).  Button stayed in the lead, but Rosberg couldn't hold of Lewis Hamilton, who passed him for second place and set off after his McLaren teammate.  While he closed up the gap, it became clear that he had killed his tires in doing so, and Button opened the lead back up to nearly 15 seconds in just a few laps, seemingly guaranteeing himself the easy win.

*GACK:  And then Button threw his McLaren off the road.  In that one move, he lost half his lead over Hamilton, and by the way his car was twitching and squirming it was obvious that his tires had gone off as well.  Hamilton managed to claw his way back up, eating up big chunks of time and making everybody wonder what would happen when he began to pressure Button.

*FINALLY:  While Hamilton got within 1.5 seconds of Button, he could get no closer as they began the final lap.  The reigning world champion kept his McLaren on the island for the entire lap despite his tires, and brought it home to become the first driver to win two races this year.  Just an epically confusing, epically enjoyable race!

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Jenson Button made the right decisions on what tires to be on, and when.  His teammate did not.  However, Hamilton managed to overcome his mistakes and drove an incredible race, forcing his way up the field, and getting within two seconds of Button's car when it was all over.  Along the way, he passed just about every big name on the grid (including an epic duel with Slappy Schumacher) with relative ease.  Great drive for Lewis.

*TEAM OF THE RACE: McLaren earned their first 1-2 finish since 2008 in a confusing scramble of a race.  Renault earns an honorable mention; while they ended up 5-7, for most of the race they were third and fourth and hanging onto Button and Rosberg.  A nice result for a team under pressure from the upstart Force India team.

*MOVE OF THE RACE: There were a lot to choose from, but on Lap 12, Lewis Hamilton was trailing behind Adrian Sutil and Mark Webber as the three of them diced for position coming down the long back straight, the three of them weaving and dekeing as they raced down at 200mph.

Sutil was dueling with Webber, the two of them holding off on braking as late as possible; the first to blink would lose the battle.  Hamilton, on the other hand, slowed a touch before the others.

As the other two swung wide, Lewis took the inside line and got on the gas a touch faster, powering past and picking up two places in one outstanding manuever.

Webber added a bit of drama by making a move on Sutil while trying to keep up with the McLaren, but Sutil managed to keep him back.  Just an great bit of racing by all three in iffy conditions and close quarters.

*MOOOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE:  I don't care that they're a new team, Virgin did something so embarassing that I still can't believe it occurred.  As the cars rolled off on the recon lap, it became clear that Timo Glockenspiel wasn't moving.  It's not uncommon to have a car stall on the grid, of course.  Why Glockenspiel wasn't rolling off was something much, much stupider.

They left his front end jacked up when the personnel left the grid.  How in the world did nobody notice that???  Congratulations, Virgin, you've just won the stupidest Moooooooooo-oooove of all time.

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

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F1 Update!: Grand Prix of Malaysia 2010!

It always rains in the afternoon in Malaysia in April.  Always.  THIS is your F1 Update! for the 2010 Grand Prix of Malaysia!

*EXCEPT TODAY:  One would think the weather gods did it just to spite us, but other than an ominously dark sky seemingly just outside the gates to the Sepang International Circuit, the track was as dry as the Mojave Desert... and seemingly just as hot, though much more humid.  They say in conditions like this a driver can lose up to 15 pounds, and it's murder on the cars as well.  That's probably why Pete Rose's Sauber died on the recon lap, and why five other cars had mechanical failures to boot.

*DRY TRACK: ...but not a dry race.  With Lewis Hamilton, Felipe Massa and HWMNBN starting from the nether regions of the grid, you would expect a lot of excitement as they weaved their way past the backmarkers, and you'd be absolutely right.  Hamilton was up to 10th by the end of the fourth lap, with the two Ferraris not far behind.  What happened at that point was that we wound up getting a lot of coverage of the mid-pack cars that we don't normally see.  Jaime Alguersuari aka NKOTT in particular has come alive after his 20-some-odd lap tussle with Slappy Schumacher in Australia, and spent a good portion of the race dicing with other big names.  That his Toro Rosso isn't fast enough to keep the likes of McLaren and Ferrari permanently behind shouldn't be a knock on the New Kid.

*UP FRONT:  The big question for this race (other than "where the hell is the rain?") was "will the Red Bulls hold together?"  It's clear that they're the class of the field, just a touch ahead of Ferrari.  With the red cars buried in the backfield, it was obvious that this was Vettel and Webber's race to win... which they did, in that order.  Vettel made a slightly better start from 3rd than Webber from pole, got past his teammate going into Turn 1, and then the two never looked back.  They cruised home with Vettel five seconds ahead of Webber, who in turn was nearly 11 seconds up on Nico Rosberg.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  There's very little question but that Ferrari's HWMNBN is probably the best driver in F1 right now, and his race today in Malaysia proved it.  On the formation lap before the race even began, he had a little problem with his clutch: it didn't work.  For the entire race, he had to downshift by stamping on the accelerator and holding the downshift paddle, and hoping that the gearbox would eventually find a lower ratio.  Mind you, he did all of this while braking at the same time, usually a sure recipe for disaster as F1 cars tend not to like such things while cornering.  That he managed to get as high as eighth, setting fast lap of the race twice along the way, and dueling with Jenson Button for seventh, is nothing short of miraculous.  It actually came as quite the surprise, then, when his engine finally let go on him with two laps remaining.

We'll admit it: we were actually saddened when the smoke began pouring out of HWMNBNs engine.  He ended up placed in 13th, out of the points... a fate he really didn't deserve today.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  The sigh of relief emanating from Austria was strong enough to blow trees around here at Pond Central.  Everything was aligned so that Red Bull could score an easy 1-2 today, as long the cars didn't break or the drivers didn't screw up as they had in the previous two meets.  Today, finally, everything went right.  That Ferrari and McLaren had shot themselves in the foot was merely icing on the cake.

*MOVE OF THE RACE:  Early on, Jenson Button was sandwiched between the two Ferraris, Massa ahead, HWMNBN behind.  The McLaren was on the softer tires (a choice he'd later call "a mistake"), the two Ferraris on the harder, so Button would be faster if he could just get past Massa.  When Massa got a bit out of shape into Turn 10, Button thought he had his opening and made his move... just a moment too late.  While he got under Massa, he couldn't quite get more than halfway up the length of the red car.  In the process, he too got a little wide in the corner... opening the door for HWMNBN, who immediately leaped through with a flourish and a jaunty 'tah-dah!'  In the process, he managed to squeeze Button into a place where he couldn't fight back AND he couldn't threaten Massa anymore, without risking pronging his car.  He dropped back, HWMNBN slipped into line behind his teammate, and the two sauntered off, thumbing their noses at the World Champion as they did.  Rather spiffy driving from the two-time World Champion.

*MOOOOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE:  While the new teams are permanently stuck in the backfield, many of the drivers in those cars are experienced and knowledgeable in the ways of auto racing.  All of which makes Timo Glockenspiel's spin on a straightaway for no reason whatsoever completely stunning.

Seriously.  He didn't touch Jarno Trulli's Lotus before the spin, he wasn't even particularly close to the other car.  He just... lost it.  On a straightaway.  Incredible, simply incredible!  BRAVO, Timo... here's your Moooooooo-ooove.

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

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F1 Update!: Grand Prix of Australia 2010!

Rain was spritzing down as the cars came to the grid.  Would it make a difference?  Let's find out... this is your F1 Update! for the 2010 Australian Grand Prix!

*LIGHTS OUT:  To say that the start of the race was frantic might be understating the case.  Mark Webber, who has never had much luck at his home race, had a miserable start from the second spot on the grid, somehow managing to stay in third as the likes of HWMNBN and Jenson Button were breathing down his neck while scrapping with each other.  Meanwhile, Felipe Massa looked like he had a rocket strapped to the back of his Ferrari as he leapfrogged to the rear wing of polesitter Seb Vettel as they closed in on Turn 1.  It was there that the scrap between Button and HWMNBN was joined by Slappy Schumacher.  Button was inside of the Ferrari, and Slappy tried to go around the outside of the two just as HWMNBN attempted to close the door on the reigning World Champion.  Unfortunately, he attempted this despite Button's nose being equal with the Ferrari's cockpit.  HWMNBN got punted into a spin, which also collected Slappy, breaking the Mercedes' nose in the process.  As the Ferrari pirouetted gracefully down the track, the field immediately jammed up behind him as they tried to pick their way around the red car.  Renault's Robert Kubica found the narrowest hole it was possible to sneak through and jumped up to 4th from 9th on the grid in the process. 

*AND THEN:  In the run down to Turn 6, the Sauber of Kamui Kobyashi shed its front wing for no reason that anybody could say.  He wasn't tangled up in the mess at Turn 1, and came through the start cleanly.  Still, the wing came off unbidden and went right under his front tires.  The car reacted by getting slightly airborne, which had a detrimental effect on the Sauber's traction and steering ability.  It then whipped into the inside wall at high speed, at which point it continued following the wall until the barrier made the turn.  Unfortunately, Kobyashi's car, most of its right side gone, couldn't even steer, let alone turn.  Bouncing over the curb at Turn 6, it plowed directly into the side of Nico Hulkenberg's Williams, climbing overtop of it in the process.  Both cars ended up dead in the kittylitter on the outside of 6, Hulkenberg looking rather surprised to be there.  Seb Buemi's Toro Rosso was also involved, ending his race there as well.  The Safety Car was called out immediately, bringing an end to a rather crazy first lap.


*CHANGING SHOES:  Early in the five lap Safety Car period, the drizzle ended and the guessing game began.  What team would bring their men in for slick tires first, and would it be the right choice?  There was still weather in the area and any moment could see the rain return, but a rapidly drying race line would render the Intermediate tires useless in short order.  On Lap 6, the first hot lap after the safety car pulled in, Jenson Button felt his tires going off and quickly came in for soft tires on his own hook.  Returning to the track, it looked like he made the wrong call as he immediately did some agricultural racing, but by Lap 9, he had set fast lap of the race.  That was enough for all the other teams, and the call went out: pit for new rubber.  Everybody but the Red Bulls and Button piled into the pitlane, with Vettel going in on Lap 10.  When he came out on the softs, he remained in the lead, with Webber and Button behind him.  Webber pitted on Lap 11, losing 5 places in the process, from which deficit he would never recover.  At this point, the standings were Vettel, Button, Kubica, Nico Rosberg, Massa, Lewis Hamilton,  Rubens Barrichello, Pete Rose, and HWMNBN, with Vettel pulling away rapidly.

*NOT AGAIN:  The lead was up to five seconds when, on Lap 25, Vettel saw sparks shooting up from his left-front brakes.  Too late to pull into the pits, he continued on while informing his crew of the problem.  There were also increasingly heavy vibrations in the car under braking, never a good sign.  And then, it happened.  Touching the brakes for Turn 13, something important broke and the Red Bull was thrown headlong into the kittylitter, beached and out of the race.  Button, gifted first place, swept by, Kubica and Hamilton following.

*CHOICES, CHOICES:  Suddenly, the question stopped being "will anybody catch Vettel" and became "does anybody dare to do the whole race on one set of soft tires?"  The requirement of using both compounds of dry tires was removed with the use of the Intermediates, so nobody had to stop.  But could the soft tires last 50 laps, or 52 in Button's case?  Only time would tell, but nobody felt confident about it.  Slappy was the first to stop for a second set of soft tires, and immediately turned in fast lap of the race.  That was enough for pretty much everybody to swing in... everybody but Button, Kubica and the two Ferraris.  The standings at this point was Button, Kubica, Massa, HWMNBN, Hamilton, Webber, Rosberg, and Vitantonio Liuzzi.  Suddenly, McLaren looked to be in the catbird seat.  They had the leader of the cars that were trying to go with one stop in Button, as well as the leader of the two-stoppers in Hamilton.  If the tires of the one-stoppers failed completely, Hamilton looked to be perfectly positioned for the win.  As the laps counted down however, it began to look more and more likely that Hamilton, who had been driving an absolutely brilliant race, had been scuppered by the decision to get new tires.  On Lap 56, unable to get past the defense-minded HWMNBN, his frustrations boiled as he keyed the mic: "Whose idea was it to bring me in?  It was a horrible idea."  Then it all became moot as Mark Webber missed his braking point and plowed into the back of the McLaren, sending them both into the kittylitter.  Both were able to continue, but Hamilton was dropped to 6th as his teammate cruised across the start/finish line with a 12 second lead over Kubica, having made his soft tires last a seemingly-impossible 52 laps. 

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Jenson Button has always been called a smooth driver, easy on his tires and his car in general.  With this race he showed exactly how smooth he was, keeping his soft tires intact for basically the entire race without costing himself much in speed.  That his teammate Lewis Hamilton was complaining that his second set of tires had gone off after 16 laps points out the skill involved in protecting the rubber.  An amazing drive, with a wonderful dose of driver-inspired strategy on top of it to boot.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Ferrari showed that they've got to be considered the favorites for the Constructor's Championship by finishing 3-4 in a race that HWMNBN was truly lucky not to finish sixth or seventh.  That both drivers were able to go the whole race on one set of softs will not be lost on the rest of the pit lane, either, particularly in that neither driver is known as being gentle on their tires.

*MOVE OF THE RACE: Lewis Hamilton had already passed his teammate, Mark Webber, Rubens Barrichello, and Felipe Massa at one point or another during the race, and he was staring at the back end of Nico Rosberg's Mercedes, sitting in 4th place.  The two silver cars are pretty much evenly matched, with very little to choose between them on the whole.  That fact made what happened next even more impressive, as Hamilton charged around Rosberg on the outside of Turn 11, a place where nobody ever passes.  He had the inside line for Turn 12 and made the pass stick, ending an amazing move in 4th place.  Pity it was all for naught in the end.  Honorable Mention goes to Mark Webber, Lewis Hamilton (again) and Felipe Massa for their Lap 16 shenanigans:  Webber passes Massa at Turns 1 and 2.  An opportunistic Hamilton follows Webber past the Ferrari, then powers past the Red Bull driver.  Going into Turn 3, Webber is overoptimistic and blows the turn, taking Hamilton with him off-track (though with no damage to either), and Massa drives past them both to reclaim 5th place.  Just a  fun sequence.

*MOOOOOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE:  Red Bull's Mark Webber was having a terrible race, all told.  On Lap 57, it just got worse.  Desperate to get past the McLaren of Lewis Hamilton, he made the sort of rookie error that even Yuji Ide would have cringed at.  As he approached the braking zone for Turn 12, Webber was apparently distracted by something bright and sparkly and forgot to apply pressure to the left pedal until it was much, much too late.  The Red Bull plowed right into the rear of Hamilton's McLaren, punting them both into the kittylitter with all the grace of a monster truck on ice skates.  Hamilton was able to return to the track with no visible damage, though a place lower than he had been, but Webber left his front wing in the gravel.  He wound up finishing 9th, and lucky to do so.  Good job, mate!  Here's your Moooooooo-ooove!

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

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F1 Update!: Grand Prix of Bahrain 2010!

All the effort in the offseason is done.  The long hours spent designing, fabricating, assembly, testing, retesting, redesigning, and re-retesting are over.  Now it's all for real, and which team, which driver, which car is the best... all the questions are about to begin to be answered.  THIS is your F1 Update! for the first race of the 2010 season, the Grand Prix of Bahrain!

*THINGS LOOK THE SAME:  When the lights went out and the grid began to move, Red Bull's Sebastien Vettel pulled away from his spot on pole and immediately began to assert his dominance over the rest of the thundering herd.  While HWMNBN got past his Ferrari teammate Felipe Massa going into Turn 1, neither Red Car was able to hang with the Red Bull driver.  Within a couple of laps the lead was up to two seconds and showed no sign of decreasing anytime soon.  Ominously however, Vettel's teammate Mark Webber showed signs of a mechanical problem going into Turn 2:

Webber's smokescreen caused a kerfluffle that sent both Robert Kubica and Adrian Sutil into spins that ruined each drivers' race.  Sutil in particular was in good shape when the lights went out: his was the only car in the Top 10 on hard tires, and if things went the way they had in Practice and Quals, everybody else would find their soft tires failing quickly, leaving Sutil the way clear for a potential podium position.  The spin dropped him down to 18th and killed his tires.  Webber, however, showed no signs of performance loss from whatever it was that caused the smoke.

*FARTHER BACK: Almost as interesting a question as "who's going to win" was "how are the new teams going to do?"  Well, if you had Lap 1 in the "When will one of the new cars fail" pool, you're a winner.  HRT's Karun Chandhok, with only a few laps in the car under his belt, discovered that the new section of the Bahrain International Circuit has some serious bumps hiding in the turns.  Hitting one of those sent him onto a curb, and henceforth into a wall.  The good news for the team was that it wasn't a mechanical failure that ended his day.  The next casualty from the new guys was Virgin's Lucas di Grassi who had to retire with a hydraulics problem on Lap 2.  His teammate, Timo Glockenspiel, followed him into the garage 14 laps later with a bad gearbox.  The other HRT driver, Bruno Senna, lasted 17 laps before something peacefully broke at the rear of the car.  If one considers the Sauber team as "new," you can count them amongst the New Casualties as well, with both cars dying from hydraulic failures by Lap 28.  The last of the new teams, Lotus, had both cars make it to the finish one of their cars finish the race, though two laps down.  The other one broke something in the hydraulic system on Lap 46... so close!

*...AND THEN:  Seb Vettel's lead settled down around five seconds going into the pitstops.  Ferrari had told HWMNBN to push as hard as he possibly could however, and the lead started to drop.  By Lap 32, it was down to 1.2 seconds.  A radio transmission from Red Bull to their driver told the true story, though: "Just keep the gap intact.  He'll burn his tires off."  Everybody seemed confident, and Vettel had surely shown that he could easily keep HWMNBN behind him.  And then Vettel's car broke.  The engine note changed, dropping from a high-pitched scream to a throaty growl, and immediately both Ferraris swept past him with the McLaren of Lewis Hamilton doing the same a couple of laps later.  For the next ten laps, the question was how many other cars would get past him.  While Nico Rosberg, Slappy Schumacher and Jenson Button closed right down on Vettel, with Rosberg being only a second behind, none of them were able to get past the crippled car.  Up ahead, HWMNBN and Massa brought home a Ferrari 1-2 with Hamilton joining them on the podium.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE: HWMNBN.  He got past his teammate at the start, drove a solid race, put pressure on Vettel and stayed close enough to the Red Bull to take advantage of its exhaust header failure spark plug failure when it occurred.  He eventually won by 16 seconds.  Yep, that's a pretty good run.

*TEAM OF THE RACE: Ferrari.  In 2009, the Prancing Horse suffered one of their worst seasons ever.  They only had one win (Spa), one of their drivers nearly died, and they had the nightmare of Luca Badoer qualifying and finishing dead last three races in a row.  So a 1-2 finish must be something of a redemption for them, and there is already muttering up and down the paddock that we'll be seeing a lot more of this in the coming months.

*MOVE OF THE RACE:  We'll think of one eventually, but right now it looks like the changed rules might have actually made it more difficult to pass.  If so, this is not good.

*MOOOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE:  Nico Hulkenberg was having fun early in the race.  Other than having to take evasive action due to the usual first turn hijinks and thus losing a few spots, he was racing with a Toro Rosso and a Sauber for position.  On Lap 3, however, he just flat-out lost the car.  The rear snapped one way, then the other, and then the car just went sliding completely out of control, cutting across two sets of curbs. 

It's just a good thing the Toro Rosso guys wear brown pants.  Welcome to F1, Nico Hulkenberg!  For your unforced error, you're the first 2010 winner of the Moooo-ooOTR!

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

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F1 UPDATE!: Abu Dhabi 2009!

The final race of the 2009 season has come and gone, but who got the honor of being the first ever winner of the Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi?  THIS is your last F1U! for the year!

*NO SURPRISES:  When you combine what is probably the best car on the grid with one of the best drivers, it's a hard combination to beat.  Unsurprisingly, that combination was Seb Vettel and the Red Bull RB5, and he pretty much had a runaway victory today.  At the start, you knew he had a good chance when Lewis Hamilton's McLaren, beginning the race on pole with less fuel and KERS, just could not pull away.  Lewis' lead topped out at 1.8 seconds after a few laps, then steadily began to decrease.  When Hamilton dove into the pit lane for his first stop, the lead was down to under a second.  When the McLaren withdrew a few laps later with impending brake failure, Vettel's only realistic challenger was his own teammate, Mark Webber, who wound up nearly 18 seconds adrift with Jenson Button crawling all over him.  Pretty much the entire season in a microcosm, right there.

*NOT BAD:  Last night as we watched Quals over at the Old Home Pond, Ph.Duck asked the chief of F1U! if he thought the Yas Marina Circuit was a good track.  At the time, the answer was "It's nice to look at, and probably fun to drive, but we won't know if it's good to race on until tomorrow."  Now, post-race, the answer has to be "Not Bad."  It has its moments, that's for sure, but the race did eventually turn into a processional.  That might have been because the cars are all so close in performance, or the double diffusers ruining the airflow, or maybe just because the track doesn't lend itself to passing, we're not sure.  We lean towards the first two.  We will say that it's the best of the three new tracks we've seen over the past couple of years, and probably the best circuit that Hermann Tilke has designed for F1 (not saying much).

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Nope, not Seb Vettel.  Once Lewis Hamilton withdrew, he drove his usual excellent race with no challenges.  No, today we'll give this coveted award to Kamui Kobayashi of Toyota.  In Brazil, the rookie, filling in for the injured Timo Glockenspiel, showed that he wasn't afraid to race with the big boys.  Today, the reigning GP2 Asia champion ran as high as third place while his teammate Jarno Trulli gurned his way around in his usual mediocre style.  Kobayashi finished in sixth, earning his first F1 points in only his second race ever, and made a case for a drive in 2010.  Please note that his countryman, Kazoo Nakajima, scored a total of ZERO points, despite running in every race this season.  Nicely done, Kobayashi, we hope to see you next year!

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  It's hard to think that Red Bull won't be favored to win the 2010 championship.  They probably have the best car on the grid, one of the best drivers in Seb Vettel (and teammate Mark Webber ain't exactly chopped liver, either), came in second in the constructor's championship (and Vettel finished second in the driver's championship), and had their fourth 1-2 finish of the season today.  Not bad for a team that hadn't won a race before this year!

*MOVE OF THE RACE:  On lap 18, new world champion Jenson Button exited the pits just ahead of Kamui Kobayashi.  The Toyota driver harried the Brawn Champion all the way through the hairpin.  At the beginning of the lonnnnnnng back straight, the rookie stuck himself right under the rear wing of the white car to take advantage of the slipstream.  About 3/4 of the way down, he popped to the outside of Button and pulled alongside as they came to Turn 8.  Button, concentrating on defending his position, held off on his brakes a moment too long and wound up taking a little too much turn.  Kobayashi, apparently expecting this, immediately turned underneath the Brawn and took the position from the champ.  While we understand that Button was heavy on fuel, and the Toyota was running light at this point and therefore had something of a speed advantage, it was still an impressive move for the fearless rookie, and one that's good enough to be a winner of the MotR.

Honorable mention goes to THIS BrawnGP employee:

Good luck, mate!  If she says no, however, this'll change to the Moooooo-oove of the Race.

*MOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE:  In our years of watching F1, we at F1U! have never seen this one before.  Lap 22.  Toro Rosso's NKOTT heads into the pit lane and pulls in to get fuel.  The only problem is, he had missed his box and was attempting to stop in the Red Bull pit stall, who's mechanics were waiting for race leader Sebastian Vettel!  Cue frantic scrambling by the crew to either get out of the way of NKOTT or to wave him through.  Fortunately, nobody was hurt in this massive screwup, nor did it affect the leader's race.  NKOTT, on the other hand, ran out of fuel somewhere around Turn 15 on the next lap as he tried to get back to the pits.  In an attempt to be fair to the young'un, he claims that he actually had a gearbox problem and the Toro Rosso pit wall had told him to come in.  When he got there, there was nobody waiting so he assumed that the Red Bull pit crew was actually his.  Uh-huh.  Here's your Mooooooo-ooove, NKOTT.  Hope you didn't take out a long-term lease...

*DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

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F1 on SPEED!: Abu Dhabi 2009!

And so we come to the end.  The final race of the 2009 season is upon us.  The F1 Circus is packing up its tents for the year.  Unlike the past couple of years, though, there's little to race for at the top of the grid.  The drivers' championship has been clinched and the constructors' championship is decided.  Certainly 2nd place in the DC is up for grabs, with Seb Vettel leading Rubens Barrichello by two points, and the fight between McLaren and Ferrari for third in the constructors title has only a one point difference, but for all intents and purposes the season is over.  In the old days, it wasn't unheard of for a team to skip the final race if they had nothing to gain or lose (Ferrari and Phil Hill in 1961, for example).  Now, however, the teams are contractually obligated to run the whole season.

But there's another reason to run the final race this year, that being the location.  Abu Dhabi's Yas Marina Circuit is a brand new track, one the teams have never turned a wheel on.  So what mysteries will the fresh asphalt reveal?  Let's see what we can figure out with the track map for the 5.5km long circuit:

The first thing that leaps out at a casual glance is the long, long back straight from turns 7 to 8.  At 1.2km, it becomes the longest in Formula 1, and after a chicane, is followed by another high-speed stretch.  The next thing one notices is the dual nature of the circuit.  No less a personality than David Coulthard's Chin himself, one of the only F1-experienced drivers ever to run laps on the track, says it feels like both a modern (read 'Hermann Tilke') track and a street circuit. 

The GP2 series ran a weekend's worth of test sessions here this past weekend.  This allowed the FIA to get a sense of how the track runs, and the organizers to stage a dry run for the race weekend.  Both groups came away satisfied.  The GP2 drivers praised the layout, complementing the wide turns and the long straights, saying that they should be quite conductive to on-track passing.  They also suggested that it'll be hard on the brakes.

A closer look at the circuit reveals an odd feature of the pit lane.  The exit appears to cross the track at turn 1... and for once, appearances are NOT deceiving.  The pit lane exit actually runs through a tunnel under the track!  Here, take a look:

...and yes, that IS a two-seater F1 car;  I suspect its the former Minardi 2-seater that the team ran as a funds-raiser, but I don't know for sure.  Just pay X amount, and a driver would take you on a couple of laps at speed around the circuit.  In this video, the driver is Bruno Senna, the soon-to-be F1 driver and nephew of the late Ayrton Senna.

I think the pit exit will be only a minor concern only after the first couple of practices and the drivers get used to it.  It is narrow, for sure, but not unduly so.  It'll sure cut down on pit lane speed violations!  I wonder what'll happen the first time someone breaks their suspension in the tunnel... I also wonder what the lighting is like in there.  After all, this is going to be F1's first day/night race, beginning around 5pm local time.  Like Singapore, there's a high-powered lighting system around the circuit, so the drivers probably won't have any difficulties with visibility, but that tunnel makes me nervous.

Bridgestone is bringing their medium and soft compound tires, so they don't appear to be too concerned about the abrasiveness of the circuit.  They are worried about the track surface temperatures, though, and fully expect the tires to blister during the first practices until the teams get used to the layout.

Initial reactions make it look like a medium downforce circuit, at least for this race.  As usual, it's all a trade-off between the high-speed first half and the low-speed second half.  You can't crank on a lot of wing, otherwise you'll compromise the car down those long, long straights, but if you take off too much wing, you'll be hurt from turn 11 thru 21.  I'm going to guess that most teams'll sacrifice top speed... sometimes you've got to go slow to go fast.


Finally, one may notice that, like Brazil, Abu Dhabi runs counter-clockwise.  There's only a few tracks in F1 that are run that way, so there'll be some extra stress on the driver's necks.  It's expected to be warm, but not excessively so, on race day... maybe 90 degrees F.

All in all, Abu Dhabi seems to be an interesting track to end the season with.  As usual, the good folks at SPEED will be bringing us their usual stellar coverage from their high-tech headquarters in Charlotte, NC.  There, the Legendary Announce Team is waited upon hand and foot in their palatial studios...

...oh. 

I must admit, I expected something more.  Other than all the TVs, this looks like something you'd find in someone's basement.  Well, no matter, they still do a great job!  Friday's Second Practice comes to us from 8am to 940am, LIVE.  Quals will be from 8am to 930am on Saturday, plausibly live.

We here in the US go back to Standard Time early Sunday morning, so don't forget to set your clocks back an hour!  You'll mess up your recording times otherwise, and with the race coming to us LIVE from 630am to 9am, you'll probably want to set the VCR.  If you mess up, there's a replay from 330pm to 6pm Sunday afternoon, too.

Of course, F1U! will be here with all the usual coverage.  Don't miss it!

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F1 UPDATE!: Brazil 2009!

The rain held off, but could Button hold off Barrichello and Vettel?  THIS is your F1 UPDATE! for the 2009 Grand Prix of Brazil!

*YEP:

Congratulations to Jenson Button, the 2009 FIA Formula 1 Driver's Championship winner.  His fifth-place finish clinched the title; Seb Vettel managed to finish fourth, Rubens Barrichello a sad eighth after a late tire puncture.

*OH, THE REST OF THE RACE: A few more races, and Red Bull might have caught BrawnGP for the Constructors' Championship.  They certainly gave it their best shot, with Mark Webber winning his second race of the season and Vettel turning in an excellent fourth after starting 15th, but it was not to be. 

*DRIVER OF THE RACE: Lewis Hamilton started 17th after the confused and delayed Quals on Saturday.  The confusion of the first lap brought out a safety car, which allowed Hamilton to get into the pits, get off the bad supersoft tires and load up with gas without losing much time, switching on the fly to an early-stopping one-stop strategy.  He then managed to drive a fine race, ending up with a VERY impressive third-place podium finish.  Ohbytheway, with the six points he earned, McLaren has moved into third place in the Constructor's Championship, just ahead of Ferrari.

*TEAM OF THE RACE: BrawnGP.  Under a year ago, the team known as Honda was dead.  Purchased by Ross Brawn with barely enough time to get any testing done, they dominated the first half of the season.  While the other teams caught up with rookies in the second half, they had enough of a lead to make it a mere formality.  A formality that was confirmed today when BrawnGP clinched the 2009 FIA Formula 1 Constructor's Championship.


*MOVE OF THE RACE:  There were a ton of good on-track passes today, but the one that lept out at us here at F1U! was on lap 6.  Jenson Button, knowing that he had to score points if he wanted to win the Driver's Championship today, found himself behind Kazoo Nakajima's Williams heading down into turn 1 just after the restart.  He held off on braking as long as he could, then slipped nicely inside Kazoo, who did try to slam the door on the Brawn.  Realizing that by doing so he'd wreck them both, Nakajima quickly gave up on that plan and tried to outdrag Button through the Senna Esses, but couldn't make it happen.  Button pulled away, a clean pass for sixth, another standing point, extra pressure on Vettel and Barrichello, and a declaration that he wanted the Driver's Championship over.  Gutsy move, and an important one, to boot.

*MOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE: While Jarno Trulli's dumb attempt at a pass on Adrian Sutil, and his subsequent playground-class temper-tantrum, was a solid contender for today's Mooooo-ooove, today we're giving the award to the McLaren lollypop man.  When Heikki Kovaleinninninnie came in for fuel and tires during the safety car period caused by Trulli's Mooo-contender, the Lollypop Man was more concerned with getting him out ahead of Ferrari's Kimi Raikkonen, who had also stopped.  When Lollypop Man saw Ferrari release Kimi, he lifted the lollypop... and Heikki, as he was trained to do, hit the gas and left the pit... knocking two mechanics to the ground and pulling the hose off the refuelling rig.  That's bad enough, but what happened next was worse:



Fortunately there were no injuries, but I suspect Kimi might have had to change his fire-resistant underwear.  Nice job Lollypop Man!  A Moooo is you!

*DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:


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Brazil 2009 Pandemonium on the First Lap!

Button is up to P9 after the most wild opening lap I've ever seen!  Sutil, Trulli and HWMNBN were all involved in a wild accident that saw Trulli try a suicidal pass of Sutil and fail, taking them both out.  Trulli's Toyota went left into the wall, Sutil went right onto the grass and, skidding out of control, gathered the Renault when his car re-entered the racing line.

Meanwhile, both McLarens needed to hit the pits for tires or a new nose, as did Kimi Raikkonen who tried a little too hard to get past Sutil at the start.  He succeeded, but wound up with a flat and a broken nose.  And that's when the SECOND incident began.

Kovaleininninnie pulled out of his pit stall too early, ripping the fuel hose out and dragging it down the pit lane, fuel spilling out everywhere... just as Kimi pulled out.  The Ferrari drove right into the fuel spray, which hit the hot exhaust pipes.  FWOOM, fireball.  It did no damage, but was frightening to say the least.

The race has restarted, and Button has passed TWO cars in one lap; he's up to 7th! 

This looks like a fun one, folks!

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F1 UPDATE!: Japan 2009!

Sunny skies over Suzuka today, but will everything stay bright for Red Bull?  THIS is your F1 UPDATE! for the 2009 Grand Prix of Japan!

*VETTEL VICTORIOUS: Starting from pole, Red Bull's Seb Vettel simply blew the the rest of the field off the track today.  By the end of the second lap, he had a three-second lead.  At one point late in the race, he had a 15 second lead... and set fast lap to boot (his teammate Mark Webber took it away a few laps later).  Only a late safety car pulled him back to the field, but when the race restarted, away he went again.  Much needed for the team as well, for not only did Vettel keep himself alive in the Driver's Championship, but he kept Red Bull alive for the Constructor's Championship as well.

*BRAWN BOTHERED: The team could have won the Constructor's Championship with four points today.  Jenson Button could have kicked out Seb Vettel from the Driver's Championship with six points.  Neither happened.  Button finished eighth, and teammate Rubens Barrichello came in seventh, for a total of three points.  Not even when the safety car came out, bunching the field together, could either driver make a move to pass BMW's Grizzly Nick Heidfeld for that last point.  They're still likely to win the Constructor's in Saõ Paolo, but the team's gotta be kicking themselves for letting this chance slip by.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  With his teammate starting from the pit lane and pitting three times in the first four laps for modifications to his newly built car, the last hopes for Red Bull rested solely on Sebastian Vettel's shoulders.  Many young drivers would have been crushed by the pressure but, as we've learned, Vettel is no ordinary young driver.  Instead, he ran a mostly perfect race, marred only by his desire to go very fast when he didn't need to and thereby stressing his final race engine unduly.  It didn't bite him today, but those spent revs could come back to haunt him.  But for today, Vettel was easily the class of the field and well-deserving of the DotR.  Honorable mention goes to Jarno Trulli's second-place finish.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  With the team perhaps facing the budget axe, Toyota really needed a good result at their "home" race.  Unfortunately, with Timo Glock out, it all came down to Jarno Trulli.  Amazingly, he pulled out his best start of the season, settling into third place behind Lewis Hamilton.  He the proceeded to stay about three seconds behind Hamilton until the final pitstops, at which point the team mechanics pulled out the most meaningful stop of Toyota F1's life.  The team managed to get Trulli in and out so quickly that Trulli leapfrogged Hamilton for second place, the team's second in a row.  Hopefully, that'll be enough to keep them in the sport as more than an engine supplier.  If not, however, it's a pretty decent result to go out on.

*MOVE OF THE RACE:  This was a fun one.  On lap 39, Heikki Kovaleinninninnie and Giancarlo Fisichella came into the pits together.  Their stops were nearly identical in length, and as they exited pit lane, Fisi had about a car's length lead over the McLaren.  The instant they crossed the speed limit line, both drivers stepped on the gas, with Heikki on the inside.  For some reason, Fisi drifted towards the center of the track.  Realizing his error, he tried to slam the door on the silver car, but it was too late: Heikki had gotten inside the Ferrari.  Even being pushed (slightly) onto the grass wouldn't stop the Floundering Finn:

..and he made this most unique Move of the Race stick; unique because it all started in the flippin' pit lane!

*MOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE:   Adrian Sutil's Force India was looking quite racy early on.  He was in 9th place and harrying Heikki Kovaleinninninnie, in 8th, quite hard.  For three or four laps, Sutil would get right up behind the McLaren in 130R, but Heikki wouldn't give him an opening into the Casio Triangle.  Must have been frustrating, I'm sure.  Still, on lap 13, Sutil saw a glimmer of light to the inside and jumped at the chance.  Through the first part of the chicane, he got his nose out in front of the McLaren.  You could almost hear his thought process: "I'm in the lead, therefore I can take whatever driving line I want!"  Except it doesn't work that way, of course.  He tried to go the the inside of the next turn in the chicane... and Heikki was there.  The two touched, spinning Sutil from 9th to 12th.  All it would have taken is a desire to hold your frickin' line and he would have had the pass made.  Instead, he earns his second MoootR in a row.  In some ways, we here at F1U! really hope he gets into a good car next year, so he can really show what he can do.  In other ways, though, we dread the thought of Adrian Sutil at the front of the grid...

*DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

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F1 UPDATE!: Italy 2009!

Short update today, as I'm exhausted and just not into the whole writing thing after the weekend I've had.

The Brawns came up off the mat and just pummeled the field today, finishing 1-2, with Barrichello taking his third career Italian Grand Prix.  The beauty of the race was that it was, first and foremost, a strategy win.

The first brilliant move was that Ross Brawn, certified F1 genius, sent his boys out onto the track in quals with a snootful of fuel, enough to run a one-stop strategy on a circuit that rewards such things, and trusted them to make it work... which they promptly did, ending up fifth and sixth on the grid.

The second brilliant move was that the drivers, Rubens Barrichello and Jenson Button, managed to make their tires last while still going fast, despite having heavy loads of gas.  On a day when the "bogie time" for a pitstop was 25 seconds, only pulling a single stop on the fastest track of the series while the other leaders were going for two meant that the Brawns basically had a 25 second lead to start the race... if they could make it work.  They did.

The third brilliant move was Jenson Button managing to keep calm under the pressure of Lewis Hamilton in the closing laps of the race.  Hamilton was faster and had KERS to help him take advantage of any mistake Button made.  The problem is, Button didn't give him that chance, and it eventually was Hamilton that made a mistake, going a little wide in the Lesmos, catching a little too much curb, and winding up sploinking into the tire barrier on the last lap.  Button didn't win the race, but it was a great performance for the driver leading the Championship points, and who may have been feeling a lot of pressure because of it.

The story of the day, though, has to be Adrian Sutil.  Qualified second in the Force India, turned fast lap in the race, and just missed a podium by ending 4th.  Only a bad entry into his pit box (running down two FI mechanics in the process) while Kimi Raikkonen stalled his car during his simultaneous stop kept him from leapfrogging the Ferrari for 3rd.  It's no longer a secret that the Force India is a fast, fast car... lets just see if it's still quick on a track that requires manueverability. 

Fun race, and I'd like to thank Steven for his impromptu coverage of Quals.  We'll make a F1 fan out of you yet, Steven!

One thing, though: Vitantonio Liuzzi isn't a new NKOTT, just for this season.  He drove for Toro Rosso in 2006 and 2007 (not to mention a few races in 2005 for Red Bull proper), so he can't qualify for NKOTT status.  He DID show that he's the real deal, though, and I honestly didn't think that before today.  He qual'd 7th, and was running very nicely until he ended up with a gearbox full of neutrals early in.  No question he would have been in the points, and possibly right behind his teammate, if that didn't happen.

Sorry for the unF1U!, folks... hope it was a little entertaining at least.

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F1 UPDATE!: BELGIUM 2009!

Once again, Spa brings us the best race of the season.  Action, drama, neck-and-neck racing, even a little bit of controversy, all of it could be found at the 2009 Grand Prix of Belgium.  This is YOUR F1 Update!

*LAP ONE HIJINKS:  We here at F1U! try not to mention the events of the first lap of any race.  Too many cars trying to go into too little space usually sends one or two of them back to the pit lane for a replacement nose or new tires; it happens almost every race.  Today, though, was a little different. 

When the lights went out, fourth on the grid Rubens Barrichello's anti-stall system cut in, reducing him to little more than a slowly moving obstacle as the rest of the thundering herd bore down upon him.  Ferrari's Kimi Raikkonen twitched past him narrowly, but the others got past him clean.  Into La Source, polesitter Giancarlo Fisichella kept clean, and indeed, began to pull away from Jarno Trulli's Toyota and hot-starting Robert Kubica's BMW.  However, they and Grizzly Nick Heidfeld managed to pretty much block La Source as they went through.  Kimi Raikkonen, showing both the wisdom of experience and a total disdain for the rulebook, barely bothered to turn, instead going wiiiiiiiiide into the runoff area outside turn 1.  Then, with nothing but clear asphalt in front of him, he mashed the "go-really-fast" button and voomph, he was in second by Les Combes. 

While Kimi mumbled "rulebook?  What rulebook?", chaos reigned in La Source.  Three cars, including Adrian Sutil's Force India, wound up requiring new noses as everybody ricocheted off each other.  Actually, the surprise is that only three cars suffered damage.  One cockpit camera shot showed Lewis Hamilton's McLaren being jostled from either side by other cars... at the same time.  Still, nobody was knocked out, so no blood, no foul.  That, however, would soon change.

Into Les Combes, Kimi went a little too hot into the turn, scorching his tires and cutting across the curbs.  Kubica, unsure what was going to happen in front of him, slowed up and missed his braking point, also going across the grass and throwing a cloud of dust into the air.  Further back, it seems that Jenson Button saw the dirt flying and maybe slowed up a small amount.  Almost instantly, the Renault of Lettuce Grosjean plowed into the back of the BrawnGP racer, sending them both spinning into the tire barriers.  An instant later, the same thing happens to Lewis Hamilton's McLaren, with NKOTT's Toro Rosso sending both of them off into the tires, narrowly missing the stricken Renault.


Almost instantly, the safety car was deployed, bringing the breathless antics of the first lap to a remarkable end.  The damage toll: four cars out, three cars visibly damaged, and one, HWMNBN'd Renault, with some subtle wheel damage that'll only become apparent during his pitstop on lap 21.  At that point, his left-front tire could only be changed with much difficulty and the team sent him out after a nearly 20second long stop.  They then recalled his Renault, saying they couldn't be sure that his tire was secure (see Grand Prix of Hungary, 2009).  He retired shortly thereafter.

*MEANWHILE:  Once the safety car peels off to begin lap 4, the Force India of Giancarlo Fisichella manages to stay in front of Kimi's Ferrari through La Source, but in Eau Rouge the Ferrari driver again puts his thumb on the "go really fast" button and nearly runs into the back of Fisi.  Another snap to the side clears the Force India, and Kimi took the lead, a lead he would never relinquish.

*HOWEVER:  This was not a runaway victory for the Scuderia.  Grimly, Fisichella hung onto the back of the mumblin' Finn.  The lead that Kimi had opened during the KERS-assisted pass stretched no farther than 1.8seconds, and then the Force India began to slowly wind him back in.  The Ferrari had a small advantage in the fast sectors (1 and 3), but the slower sector 2 belonged solely to Fisichella, usually to such an extent that he would make up the time deficit of the other two and a little bit besides.   The lead was down to less than a second when the two came into the pits on lap 14.  Both stops were clean, though the Force India mechanics seemed to take a little bit longer.  The two cars rejoined the race the same way they entered the pits: Kimi in front of Fisi by less than 1.5seconds.  On they went, with the story progressing as it had earlier: the Italian slowly reeling in the Finn, but never quite being able to get close enough to challenge for a pass.  The 31st lap of the race brought both back into the pit lane, Raikkonen leading by about a second.  Both Ferrari's and Force India's mechanics got their respective chargers out in 7.1 seconds, and again, they were only a second or so apart back on the track.

*THEN:  It all somehow got better.  Lap 35 saw Seb Vettel's Red Bull come out of the pits in third place, just about 5 seconds behind Fisichella, who by now was only .7sec behind Raikkonen.  Vettel, free of challengers behind him, was able to concentrate on running down the dueling Ferrari and Force India.  Quickly, the gap to second place dropped to three seconds, while Kimi's lead was down to about a half-second on Fisi.

*FINALLY:  The church bells in Maranello pealed in happy celebration as the Ferrari of Kimi Raikkonen crossed the finish line still about a half-second ahead of the Force India of Giancarlo Fisichella, who remained about three seconds ahead of the Red Bull of Seb Vetttel.

*BUT:  With three laps left to go, the sixth place Brawn of Rubens Barrichello, who had been pushing hard to take 6th place away from Heikki Kovaleinninninnie, suddenly begins expelling a plume of smoke.

Behind him, 8th and 9th place, Nico Rosberg and Mark Webber, begin to salivate at the prospect of a free point.  The Brawn backs off of Kovaleinninninnie, but he can't take it too easy, since the other two drivers are breathing down his neck, hard.  Still, the car seems to be running okay, and the smoke doesn't seem to be getting worse, so Rubens presses on.  With one lap to go the pitwall calls him on the radio, saying that it's just an oil leak, and he'll probably make it to the end of the race.  Maybe.  They hope.  Knock wood.  Well, Barrichello must have run over a rabbit on-track and gotten one of its feet stuck in the bodywork somewhere, because the Mercedes engine held together to get across the finish line.

*AND THEN...:  Break out the smores!

The Brawn caught fire in parc ferme, seconds after the race had ended.  Someone once said the perfect racecar would run at 100% right until it crossed the finish line, then it would fall into a billion pieces.  Guess the Mercedes engine is pretty perfect then, eh?



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F1 Update!: European Grand Prix @ Valencia 2009!

All those fans F1 gathered after the four-race stint on FOX were in for a shock today!  THIS is your F1U! for the European Grand Prix @ Valencia!

*CASUAL FANS BEWARE: To be honest, even we here at F1U! headquarters were nearly put to sleep by the EGP@V today.  Only the alleged "drama" of the first win in five years for Rubens Barrichello managed to keep us going.  To their credit, SPEED's Legendary Announce Team did a fine job of keeping the viewer informed of the strategies involved regarding pitstops, but that's awfully thin gruel to base a race on.

*RED HOT PIT STOP ACTION!:  From the start of the race, it was obvious that this was not going to be a runaway victory for any of the three favorites: Lewis Hamilton and Heikki Kovaleininninnie for McLaren or Rubens Barrichello for Brawn.  Closing in on the first round of pitstops Hamilton had a six-second advantage on his teammate, who was only a couple of seconds ahead of Barrichello, who it was thought had about four laps worth of fuel more than the McLarens.  Heikki stopped first, Lewis second, giving Rubens a chance to run in open air for the first time.  By the time he completed his pitstop, he had leapfrogged Kovaleininninnie via the rotation.  When Hamilton headed to the pits on lap 36, he had a mere 3.6 second advantage on the charging Barrichello.  Then it all went wrong for McLaren.

Hamilton's stop was a complete shambles.  As you can see in the above picture, the fuel rig is attached to the car and the tires are off... but there's no other activity on the corners.  McLaren hadn't brought out the new tires!  A stop that should have taken at most eight seconds or so took 13.5.  Meanwhile, out on the track, Barrichello ripped off personal fast lap after personal fast lap, for five consecutive laps.  When he made his second stop, he leapfrogged Hamilton and had a six-second lead besides.  At the end of the race, Barrichello finished in first, only 2.3 seconds ahead of second place Hamilton. 

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Rubens Barrichello.  He did everything right today.  He had to stay close to the lighter McLarens before the first stop and he did.  He had to stay close to Hamilton going into the second stop, and he did.  When Hamilton pitted, Rubens had to push like the dickens to open up as big an advantage as he could, and he did.  He deserved the win, and he got it.  Plus, it was his first win in 86 starts... congrats, Rubens.  NOW will you please stop whining???

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  BrawnGP.  While the win is nice, Jensen Button's 7th place wasn't entirely his fault.  Right at the start, Button was brutally cut off by Seb Vettel, forcing the Brawn to slam on his brakes.  HWMNBN did the same to Button a little later in the lap.  Simply put, a 7th place when you had two drivers pull somewhat dangerous stunts on you forcing you back to 9th isn't so awful, particularly when neither Red Bull earned a point today.  So, BrawnGP gets the TotR, but it's a lukewarm one.

*MOVE OF THE RACE:  None.  There was no on-camera passing whatsoever.  Allegedly Grizzly Nick Heidfeld passed Adrian Sutil at some point during the race, but we never got to see it, even in replay. 

*MOOOOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE:  As most of today's stupid overtaking moves happened on the first lap, none of them qualify.  Really, it was a pretty clean race, all in all, so today's Moooo-ooove goes to Lettuce Grosjean for his unforced error that led to this fun little slide:

Even this gets a lukewarm win, because Lettuce actually showed some skillz here.  The car never came to a stop and he eventually transitioned from skid to regular motion in one smooth manuever.  Honorable mention goes to Luca Badoer for letting Lettuce pass him... IN THE PIT LANE.  We still have no idea what the heck was going on there.

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

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F1 Update!: Hungary 2009!

We admit that we're writing this while the race is still running on FOX.  The ending doesn't seem to be in doubt, and it's been a pretty dull race for the most part.  THIS is your F1 Update! for the Hungarian Grand Prix!

*MISSING MAN FORMATION:  There was never any question but that Felipe Massa wasn't driving this race, but we were surprised to hear that Ferrari wouldn't field a second car. 


*ALL BETS ARE OFF:  It's now a free-for-all for the Driver's Championship.  With Seb Vettel retiring from the race and Mark Webber finishing third, suddenly Webbo is second in the points.  Throw in Button finishing a weak 7th and Rubens Barrichello's customary bad getaway at the start forcing him to scramble for 10th place, and we're starting to get a little tighter in the Constructor's Championship, too.  Suddenly, however, the 600lb gorilla known as McLaren have to be considered in the running for something with their runaway victory and 5th place finish.  About the only thing we feel safe to call is that Farce India won't win either championship.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE: "The car has come alive.  I can win with it now."  Those were the words of Lewis Hamilton back before the the German Grand Prix, and perhaps it was only because of his bump in the first turn of that race that he couldn't make them come true then.  But he has now.  Once he got past Mark Webber for second (see below), it was pretty clear that he was going to be running the show.  Once HWMNBN removed himself from the lead for a pitstop on lap 11, it was clear sailing for Hamilton, who turned in one of his usual flawless runs from the front.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  McLaren.  1st and 5th for a team that looked like it was more likely to be dicing with the Farce Indias for 20th at the start of the season?  They're back, and they're ready to take over.

*MOVE OF THE RACE:  On lap 5, Hamilton was dueling with Mark Webber coming down the front straight, neither driver giving an inch as they rocketed towards turn 1.  Webber had the middle of the track staked out, and Hamilton swung to the outside, looking like he was going to try to outbrake the Red Bull.  Instead, he slowed early, cut to the inside of the Aussie, then jammed his finger down on the KERS button and flew away.  Totally effortless, and there wasn't a darn thing Webber could do about it, save for wrecking both cars.

*MOOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE:  In a repeat of the 2006 Hungarian Grand Prix, HWMNBN came into the pits for fuel and a tire change.  Unfortunately, the chief engineer gave the two-time champion the okay to go before everything was finished being tightened down.  The result?

For the record, a F1 car loses a lot of grip when there are tires on only three corners.  Congratulations, Renault, not only do you get the MOOOotR, but you've also been suspended for the European Grand Prix for "allowing HWMNBN to leave the pits with a wheel not properly secured."  Good jorb!

*DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

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