March 19, 2006

F1 UPDATE!: MALAYSIA.

Race 2 in the books, lets get to the updatin'!

*LUMP GO BOOM!: When people look back at week 2 of the 2006 Formula 1 season, they will marvel at the amount of engines that had their "magic smoke" released from them. Nico Rosberg's impersonation of a F-4 Phantom II was particularly awe-inspiring, but there were many, many others over the weekend. The question becomes "Is this going to happen every other week?" Or was it just because it was 100 degrees F. and humid in Kuala Lumpur this weekend? Time will tell, but remind me how this was supposed to save money?

*RACE GO YAWN!: Not a very thrilling race from the standpoint of it ever being in doubt. The boys in Renault blue & yellow led all but one lap, and Giancarlo Fisichella led all but six laps (if the F1 UPDATE!'s statisticians are correct) in his win from pole. Just goes to show that the new qualifying format hasn't been figured out yet by the teams: the cars that could have challenged for the win wound up stuck behind slower teams due to engine changes and the like, and that let Fisi run and hide.

*TEAM OF THE RACE: Renault. Their first one-two podium finish since 1983 (when they were Benneton), decided in dominating fashion. Who else could this be given to?

*DRIVER OF THE RACE: Giancarlo Fisichella, Renault. Okay, Fisi, you got your one win of the year. Now sit down.

*MOVE OF THE RACE: For sheer impressiveness, it's got to be Fernando Alonso's start, jumping from seventh to third by the first corner. Renault's amazing starting ability almost makes a mockery of the grid system. Honorable mention goes to Rubens Barrichello. Somewhere around the middle of the race, Vitantonio Liuzzi and Takuma Sato were involved in a bitter struggle for 14th position; Barrichello, who at the time was a lap up on the two and trying to get by them, dove underneath at the apex of a turn and snuck by in blistering fashion, all the while praying they saw him coming. He got lucky, and gets an HMotR because of it.

*MOOOOOOOOO-VE OF THE RACE: Celebrating the bovine in every F1 driver, the Moooooo-Ve this week goes to Jarno "The Engineer" Trulli. In a race that was actually pretty good as far as lack of bovine actions go, Trulli wins this week's award by holding up half the field for most of the race. Shovel coal faster, Jarno!

*DRIVER QUOTES: more...

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March 12, 2006

F1 UPDATE!: BAHRAIN!

Hello and welcome to a new season of F1 UPDATE! Lets just get right to the fun stuff!!!

*EVERYTHING OLD IS... HEY, WHO'S THAT GUY IN RED?: Last season, it was pretty common to see Fernando Alonso standing on the podium (what WAS up with that hip swivel thing, anyway?), with Kimi Raikkonen joining him. The first race of 2006 was no different, but Michael "Slappy" Schumacher was an unfamiliar face. While the staff here at F1 UPDATE! never felt that Slappy really had a chance to win the race, it's an interesting (and, we admit, unexpected) development to see Ferrari back as a legit challenger.

*EVERYTHING NEW IS... UM... STILL NEW: Toro Lawnmowero's Scott Speed and Williams' Nico Rosberg showed that they might be rookies, but they drive like deserve to be on the grid. Quite the welcome switch from last year's rookie crop.

*TEAM OF THE RACE: Williams-Cosworth. After the disasterous season they had last year, one had to wonder just exactly how good Williams could be with a new engine supplier. Well, they showed that they're potentially quite good, finishing 6th and 7th. A tip of the cap goes to McLaren as well, but they were expected to be good, so 3rd and 5th isn't enough to get the TotR award.

*DRIVE OF THE RACE: Kimi Raikkonen, McLaren. It's almost becoming dull: Kimi has something break during qualifying, Kimi starts from the back of the grid, Kimi ends up on the podium. The result might be "ho-hum, what again?", but it's still enough to earn the Drive of the Race.

*MOVE OF THE RACE: No single pass was awe-inspiring enough to truly earn the MotR, but Jensen Button had a slew of decent passes on top-level competiton, with his lap 11 pass of JP Montoya being the best of the bunch.

*MOOOOOOOOO-VE OF THE RACE: Ferrari's Felipe Massa takes this prize, with his wheel-smoking spin/pass of Fernando Alonso on Lap 8. How Alonso managed to miss pronging himself into the side of Massa still boggles our minds here at F1 UPDATE!, and exactly where Massa's brain was at the time also boggles our minds. The way it happened, we thought the Ferrari had broken something, or had a tire die... nope, he just lost it. Moo.

*QUOTES OF THE RACE: more...

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March 01, 2006

F1 UPDATE!: The Cast List (continued)

It saddens our hearts to think that our readers have missed the F1 UPDATE! crew during the long, cold offseason. So much, in fact, that we're now back with the second part of our look at the personalities that make up the Rolling Asylum that is Formula One.

(cue 'Shipwrecked Guy')

"Its..." more...

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