F1 Update: Spain 2015

A beautiful sunny day rose over Barcalounger as the F1 Circus began its swing across Europe today.  For the first time in 2015, someone other than Lewis Hamilton led the Blundering Herd to the grid as teammate Nico Rosberg had the honors of fast lap during Quals, and he was desperate for a win.  So what happened?  THIS is your F1 Update! for the 2015 Grand Prix of Spain!

Here is the most excitement we had all day:

This is Turns 1 and 2 of the first lap.  Nico Rosberg leads the Ferrari of Seb Vettel, who took advantage of a poor start by Lewis Hamilton to move into second place. 

From this point in time until the end of the race, the Grand Prix of Spain was one of sheer tedium.  There was almost no passing on track, no real drama despite the best efforts of the Legendary Announce Team to create some late in the race, and the only excitement came when two separate front jack men got run over by their cars (McLaren's HWPMBNSTITF suffered brake failure, and Lotus' Lettuce Grosjean suffered brain failure). 

It was a reversion to the bad old days of the early-to-mid 2000s, when all passing was done in the pit lanes, races were processionals, and the winners could often be named before qualifying based on tire manufacturer.  Back then, refueling was the gimmick that allowed for races to hinge on pit strategy.  Now we have DRS which makes it impossible for the car ahead to defend a legit passing attempt, and bodywork that messes up airflow over the car behind, making it impossible for them to get close enough to make a legit passing attempt.

Now, I'm not going to say that every race is going to be a Spanish Grand Prix, and we knew coming in that this wasn't going to be the most interesting race in the world ("I don't always race cars..."), but this was really not good at all.  Nico Rosberg only ever lost the lead during pit stop rotations, and then only briefly.  Hamilton never had a challenge for him and, as previously mentioned, could not do anything about Ferrari's Seb Vettel on track.  A quick change of plan to a three-stop strategy allowed him to race hard enough to pass him in the pits for second.  Fourth was Valterri Bottas in his Williams, another near-podium yet invisible race for the Martini-striped car.  The Ferrari of Kimi Raikkonen overcame his qualifying woes to pull himself up to a complaint-filled fifth.  The other Williams, driven by Felipe Massa ended up in sixth, with just as equally invisible a drive as his teammate's.

Nobody else was on the same lap.

So from a nearly-literal snoozefest in Spain, we head next to the Principality of Monaco and the streets of Monte Carlo.  When one thinks of Monaco, the first thing that leaps to mind is not passing.  However, it's such a visceral experience that one barely notices as the cars race down narrow city streets past fans wearing clothes that cost more than the F1 cars going by, or lounging on yachts in the harbor, or sunbathing next to swimming pools on the roofs of gigamillion-dollar hotels.  With everything else going on to excite the senses, the Monaco Grand Prix can get away with it.  Not so with Spain, a bare circuit with little visual stimulation. 

Monaco is the one place on the calendar where raw grunt is not needed.  Perhaps there we will see another dent in the Mercedes domination.  See you in two weeks!

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F1 Update: Bahrain 2015

Back again for the second night race at Sakhir, the assembled F1 Horde sat burbling quietly under the lights.  Would the Mercedes massacre?  Would Ferrari fight fiercely?  Would Williams win?  THIS is your F1 Update for the 2015 Grand Prix of Bahrain!

The beginning of a race is signaled by the sequential lighting and mass extinguishing of five red lights.  The way these work is interesting, to a certain extent.  Once the field has taken to the grid, Charlie Whiting, technical overseer for Formula 1, presses a button on his control panel that begins a random countdown.  When the countdown reaches zero, the set process begins.  Today, there was a remarkably long stretch of time between the cars hitting the grid and the lights coming on.  Part of that was due to Pastor Maldonado taking the wrong place on the grid for reasons not worth getting into and easily capsulized by rolling your eyes and saying "Maldonado" in a disgusted tone.  But part of it had to be the timer taking longer than we can remember.  This is somewhat more important than you might at first think... F1 cars are cooled by airflow over relatively small radiators.  Thus, if they aren't moving, they aren't being cooled... and the cars had been still for a very long time indeed.  Much to our surprise here at F1U! HQ, everybody on the grid got away clean... Felipe Massa started from the pitlane due to a problem getting started on the grid, and Jenson Button's power unit woes continued, the team giving up on getting him into the race.  Meanwhile, both Manor cars took the start.  Just sayin'.

Thus the race started, and noticed was served quickly that Ferrari were not messing around.  The two Red cars, starting second and fourth on the grid, actually seemed to team up as they headed into the first turn.  In doing so, they positioned themselves so that the Mercedes of third-place-sitting Nico Rosberg had two choices to make: either back off the throttle and surrender the place to hard-charging Kimi Raikkonen, or bury his Silver Arrow deep in the bowels of one of the Prancing Horses.  Wisely, he backed down, but the tone for the race had been set.  A dogfight was in the offing!

And then a lack of refreshing sleep caught up with the members of the F1U! staff.  This is not an uncommon problem when the weather begins to change around Duckford.  It was right around the time of the first pit stops, with Hamilton leading Rosberg and Vettel leading Raikkonen, that the whole of the F1U! horde found itself in that state of not-quite-asleep, eyes closed, brain right on the edge of pulling up a pillow and shutting down.  The first time we watched the race, we stayed that way until the winner's anthems were played.  The second time, we picked up from where we remember leaving off.

And promptly went under again.  This time though, the F1U! staff managed to pull ourselves out of the blissful arms of Morpheus (the Greek god, not the Matrix character) after roughly 20 laps, just in time to see the second round of pitstops.  In the rotation, Hamilton still led, but Vettel's Ferrari jumped Rosberg's Mercedes for second.

This situation only lasted for a few laps.  Vettel, finding himself under all sorts of pressure from Rosberg, went wide out of a fast turn and badly damaged his front wing, either on a rumblestrip or from just barely getting into a sandtrap at high speed.  Either way, the Ferrari had to come in for an unscheduled third stop, letting Raikkonen into third... well, not really.  In truth, Raikkonen was in the lead at this point, but only because he had yet to stop for tires.  He did not stop until ten laps after everybody else, emerging on fresh Option tires in third place.

While much faster than either Mercedes at this point because of the tires, Raikkonen was 24 seconds in arrears to Hamilton, and 19 to Rosberg.  By Lap 50, the gap to Rosberg was 10 seconds and dropping by over a second per lap.  By Lap 55, Rosberg had mirrors full of Red car, and it looked like we were going to have an exciting fight for second.  And then both Mercedes drivers reported problems with their rear "brake-by-wire" systems.  Rosberg's glitch occurred just as a turn approached, and he had to run very wide, letting the Finn past with no fight at all.  The question then became "could he catch Hamilton in the few remaining laps?"

Alas, the answer was "nope."  He did cut the lead to only a few seconds while Hamilton wallowed around the track with recalcitrant braking, but it wasn't enough.  Lewis Hamilton led Raikkonen, Rosberg, the Williams of Valterri Bottas who was some 45 seconds back, and Vettel who probably would have passed Bottas in another lap, across the line for his third win of the season in what turned out to be a pretty interesting race.

It's clear that Ferrari may not be able to match the overall pace of the Silver Arrows.  However, it's also clear that it's a lot closer than anybody expected, and while I'm not positive about this, it seems like when the cars are on the softer, less durable tires, the Red cars are quicker.  It's not enough to make up the overall gap between the two marques, but it does make it a lot closer.

The next race will be Spain on May 8th, as the European leg of the season begins.  At that point, we'll have a whole new championship as that's traditionally when the upgrades start to get applied to the cars.  Might make for some extra excitement!  We'll see you there and then.

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F1 Update: China 2015

Right, so, much to my surprise, I stayed up to watch the race last night.  This morning?  It started at 1am, so you make the call.  Anyway, I had no plans to do so, but an overly-long nap after a day of intestinal distress found me wide awake when the lights went out.  So what happened?  THIS is your F1 Update! for the 2015 Grand Prix of China!

Weather was no issue when the lights went out and the Thundering Herd piled into Turn 1.  It took very little time at all for the front of the field to settle down to Hamilton-Rosberg-Vettel-Raikkonen-Bottas-Massa... or Merc-Ferrari-Williams, if you prefer.  Prior experience would have us see that and think "Silver Arrows galloping over the horizon."  But!  This is no longer 2014, my friends... it's 2015, a new era in Formula 1!  Things have changed!  And by that, I mean that Mercedes didn't gallop over the horizon... at least, not alone.  Ferrari tagged along, staying close enough that Hamilton and Rosberg could clearly see red in their rear-view mirrors.  By Lap 10, a mere six seconds separated the leader from Raikkonen in fourth.  It looked like Ferrari's plans to make their tires run longer than the Mercs were working... and if they could stay in touch with the Silver cars, they would actually have the advantage.

Which is why it came as such a shock when Seb Vettel brough his Ferrari in on Lap 13, before either driver for the German team even discussed stopping.  After all the drivers made their stops, the standings were exactly the same as they had been: Hamilton-Rosberg-Vettel-Raikkonen, with seven seconds covering the four.  On one hand, Ferrari had to be ecstatic: they were actually racing with the dominating Mercedes.  On the other hand, they had to be disconsolate: their strategy of out-lasting the Mercedes on tires had clearly been launched out the window.  Still, it could be worse; they were still in contact with last year's champs, and it was pretty clear they would be able to stay right there.

So far this season, Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton had seemingly called a truce after last year's nigh-on open warfare.  These days, both drivers were saying all the right things and appearing to mean it.  Sure, Rosberg did say that he wasn't the team's second driver, but you'd want him to say that.  On Lap 20 however, we heard a call to the pit wall from the German wunderkind: "Lewis is driving really slowly, get him to speed up."  After the race, he go even farther, accusing Hamilton of intentionally sabotaging his race by driving just slowly enough to force him into his dirty air.  This would cause his tires to wear more, due to decreased aero grip.  This had the effect of letting Vettel close up, ohbytheway.  The after-race interview was... um... heated.

Anyway, everybody stayed close (at least in F1 terms, anyway) until the second round of pitstops occurred in the early Lap 30s.  By the time it was all over and done with, Hamilton had a six second lead over his teammate, who was four seconds up on Vettel, who had a similar gap to his teammate.  The Williams were at least on the same lap, some 50 seconds back, but there's clearly Big Two and an Everybody Else now.

Now that the leading four were on the harder Prime tires, the race went straight to hell with 20 seconds covering them.  Unfortunately, they weren't evenly spaced: the two Mercs were a couple of seconds apart, then there was a 12 second gap back to Vettel, who was slowly losing time to his Finnish comrade.  Indeed, on Lap 50 it looked for all the world that we were going to see an exciting fight between the Red cars for the final podium position.

Until 17-year-old Max Verstappen's Toro Rosso had A Bad Thing happen to the rear of his car just over the start/finish line on Lap 53.  With his rear tires locked solid and a lump sounding less like an engine and more like the sound pudding would make if it were dropped down a flight of stairs... and made of metal... he tried to pull off the track, but couldn't manage the feat.  Not his fault, this fell into the category of "comprehensive and total failure." 

Unfortunately, it occurred on the front straight, where it would be singularly unsafe to try and send marshals out to recover the car unprotected.  It would have been even more unsafe to leave the car where it was, so Berndt Maylander was duly summoned to the track for Safety Car duties.  And that's how the race ended, under the watchful eye of The Powers That Be.  Hamilton led Rosberg, Vettel, a slightly disgruntled Raikkonen who later said that he believed he could have taken Vettel, followed by the Williams of Massa and Bottas.  Both McLarens finished the race (12th and 13th) as did both Manors (15th and 16th). 

A race that was right on the edge of being really exciting... coulda been.

Next weekend, we'll be in Bahrain, where it's going to be hot again... look for Ferrari to make a comeback.  See ya there!

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F1 Update: Malaysia 2015

We here at F1Update! want to try something new.  Our usual "bullet point style" of coverage has gotten pretty darn tiring to us since it really feels like we're just saying the same things over and over again each race.  So instead, we're going to be a little more... chatty, shall we say?  Possibly less informative, too, but nobody says we're going to stick with this style.  So THIS is your F1Update! for the 2015 Grand Prix of Malaysia... relaxed version!

As we put this together, the race was over more than a half-day ago.  Many of you will have already learned that, for the first time since Spain in May of 2013, a Ferrari driver stood on the top step of the podium.  Sebastian Vettel, in only his second race for the team from Maranello, beat the twin Mercedes of Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg by roughly nine and 13 seconds, respectively.  The other Red Car didn't do too badly either as Kimi Raikkonen brought his Ferrari across the finish line in fourth after an incident-plagued race.  This was Vettel's first race win since Brazil in 2013.

Many pundits are saying that Ferrari's performance today means that they'll be challenging the Silver Arrows for the rest of the season, and that's entirely possible.  There are a few indicators that suggest that this may not be the case.  First off, the nature of Sepang International Circuit itself.  Malaysia is incredibly hot and humid when it's not raining (then it's hot, humid and raining).  At one point during race weekend the surface temperature of the track was over 160°F. (that's nearly £85 for those of you overseas readers!), much hotter than anybody could have possibly expected.  As a result, the Pirelli tires were suffering from blisters and higher-than-normal degradation.  There was no reason to complain, as it wasn't overly bad and everybody had the same situation anyway.  When it came to the race, Ferrari made their tires work better longer than anybody else.  It seems that the SF15-T is gentle on its tires... or gentler, at least.  Perhaps having Vettel behind the wheel helps as well.  In any case, the Red Car of the four-time world champion was able to run the race on two pit stops, while the two Mercedes had to make three... and that's the difference, right there.

Of course, there's always more to the story.  One could also say that Mercedes lost the race during Q1 and Q2 on Saturday.  With heavy rains bearing down on the circuit, the German team decided to do something they almost never do: burn a set of the softer, Option, tires during Q1 to make sure they got through to Q2.  They stayed on the Option tire again in the few laps they were able to turn before le deluge came down.  Arguably, Mercedes could have stayed true to form and run the harder Prime tire in Q1 and still progressed to the next phase of Qualifying.  Why is this important?  Because for Hamilton's last stint, when he was going to have fresher tires than Vettel and thus had the best chance to catch him, the team was forced to put him on the Prime tires because the Options they had remaining would never have lasted until the end of the race.  The Options were somewhere around 1.0 to 1.5 seconds/lap faster than the Primes, and he pitted on Lap 40 of a 56 lap race.  Hamilton finished just over 8.6 second behind... you do the math.


more...

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F1 Update: Australia 2015

Some might call what happened in Melbourne a farce.  Others could characterize it as an example of everything that's wrong with Formula 1.  We here at F1U! look at it and wonder what an Australian hot dog would have for toppings.  THIS is your F1Update! for the 2015 Grand Prix of Australia!

*SECOND VERSE:  Stop us if you've heard this one before.  Lights go out, Lewis Hamilton runs away and is next seen by TV cameras with two laps left as the announcers wax rhapsodic about the level of domination both he and Mercedes displayed during the race.  Meanwhile, Nico Rosberg ran a race just as good as Hamilton's, only blemished by not being able to catch the reigning World Champion despite similar equipment.  That Rosberg was over 35 seconds ahead of the third place finisher should tell you everything you need to know about how the race went.

*THAT WAS UNEXPECTED:  Okay, first and second were pretty much locks.  But what about the rest of the race?  From all appearances, if it wasn't for Mercedes we might have a helluva season on our hands.  The five spots from third through seventh were claimed by five different teams... in order: Ferrari, Williams, Sauber (!), Red Bull, and Force India.  The first team to double up was Sauber (!!) in 8th, followed by a sixth team, Toro Rosso in 9th.  That's a great distribution, and one that's unfortunately not going to repeat itself. 

*WHAT?  WHY NOT?:  Because you don't often have races that end with 11 cars running, that's why.  Bad enough that Manor DNQ'd and we were beginning the race with 18 cars.  Then news came down that Williams' Valterri Bottas had a back injury and couldn't race, dropping us to 17.  As if that wasn't enough, McLaren's HWMNBN'DSI had his engine grenade itself on the sedate drive to the pre-race grid.  A minute later, the Red Bull of Daniil Kyvat rolled to a stop, his gearbox transformed from a precisely tuned instrument to a handful of metal shavings and hate.  We were down to 15.  By the end of the first lap, Lotus' Pastor Maldonado was in the wall, aided in his destruction by Sauber's Felipe Nasr.  The other Lotus driver, Lettuce Grosjean, pitted at the end of Lap 1, his engine performing like the team installed the turbocharger backwards, and the fans in Melbourne were watching 13 cars race.  On Lap 34, Junior Verstappen's debut race came to an end with a high-pitched report of "smoke in the cockpit" and a plume behind him, and then there were 12.  A few laps later, Ferrari let Mumbles Raikkonen leave the pits with one of his tires attached incompletely, ending his day just a few turns out of the pit lane.  Eleven.  The slowest car on the grid, Jenson Button's McLaren, very nearly earned a point by not failing, despite ending the race two laps down.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Felipe Nasr, Sauber.  Last year, Sauber had the worst season in their history, scoring zero points and nearly having to pack it in for lack of funds.  This year, they're racing two rookies because they brought huge checkbooks to the table.  Well, one of the rookies showed he's not afraid to hang with the big names of the sport, finishing fifth ahead of Daniel Riccardo and just behind Felipe Massa.  Oh, and coincidentally earning 10 points for Sauber.  Not bad, kid... now do it again!

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Well, Mercedes of course.  I could give it to Sauber for getting both drivers in the points after last year's debacle, or McLaren for getting one car to the end of the race (the longest they've managed to have a car survive in 2015), but Merc made it clear that this is their season to lose.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE: After Pastor Maldonado's Lotus was installed into the wall between Turns 1 and 2 on the first lap, the Safety Car was summoned for a few laps.  On the restart, leader Lewis Hamilton was granted a boon from the Restart Gods.  It only felt like he had a three second head-start as they crossed the line; in reality it took him the entire rest of the lap to open up a 2-1/2 second lead over his teammate.  If there was any question that Hamilton wanted the win today, that perfectly timed restart dispelled it.

*SELECTED DRIVER'S QUOTES OF THE RACE:

"It's nice to see Ferrari back on the podium, we'll have a good scrap with them the rest of the way... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahaahahahahahaahahah!" - Lewis Hamilton

"It's a long season with lots of races to go.  I can still beat Lewis." - Nico Rosberg (note: hahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahaa!)

"I drank the champagne on the podium and I saved some for the guys in the team, because they told me they like it a lot." - Seb Vettel (note: real quote)

"I believe that Mercedes isn't giving us the same engine they have in their car.  They're doing it to help Ferrari.  Why?  Aliens.  I'm not wearing any pants.  There are no grapes in grapefruit." - Felipe Massa

"I am very happy with fifth position in my first Formula 1 race.  And that I'm single, young and a F1 driver.  My life is perfect right now." - Felipe Nasr

"Meat pies, vegemite and tim-tams for everybody!" - Daniel Riccardo

"I said something boring and generic to commemorate my 7th place finish." - Nico Hulkenberg

"Bet Giedo van de Garde wishes he coughed up more money now, huh?" - Marcus Ericsson

"It's 'Carlos Sainz', not 'Horatio Sanz.'  I just want to make that clear." - Horatio Sanz

"I was faster than Button." - Sergio Perez

"Today was a good day.  No, really!  We got a lot of data, we didn't explode or electrocute anybody, so it's a good day.  And we were almost in the points." - Jenson Button

Two weeks from now is Malaysia... see you then!

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Australia 2015 Runup UPDATED

This is ridiculous.

First came the news that Valterri Bottas is out.  As mentioned earlier, he had a back injury that was probably suffered during Q2 when he ran wide out of a turn and hit a rough patch in the grass.  News from the track is that the injury has limited his flexibility that he cannot get out of the car under the FIA-mandated time.  For example, if he was in a crash and the car caught on fire, he'd be unable to get out before his firesuit would be compromised.  Well, that makes sense, safety first.

Then just a few minutes ago we saw the McLaren of HWMNBN'DSI die on the side of the track on its way to the grid, vast amounts of smoke emanating from the Honda lump in the back.  So slow and unreliable, great combination that!

As if that wasn't enough, Daniil Kvyat's Red Bull rolled to a stop on his way out, though without the mosquito repellant.  It looked like it just shut off, though we're now hearing that it's a gearbox problem.

So this means that we'll be beginning the 2015 Australian Grand Prix with fifteen cars.  Joy.

More if events warrant.

UPDATE:
One lap in, and we're down to thirteen cars, as both Lotuses are out... one to accident, one apparently down to a trashed transmission.  McLaren might still get a point... only three to go!

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Mini-F1Update!: Abu Dhabi 2014

The evening was clear and warm as the F1 Carnival took to the grid for its final performance of the season.  The final showdown between teammates Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg for the Driver's Championship was at hand with the young German needing a victory and help to score enough points to take it from the Brit.  Would he get it?  THIS is your mini-F1Update! for the 2014 Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi!

*LIGHTS OUT:  Rosberg's hopes for the Driver's Championship essentially lasted just long enough for the cars to roll 100meters or so.  By that point, Hamilton had perhaps the greatest start of all time, already passed Rosberg, and was working on opening a lead as they ran into Turn 1.  Indeed, Williams' Felipe Massa was hard on the German's wing in third, an ominous sign.  While Massa slipped away soon enough, Rosberg had no real answer for Hamilton.  Even through the first round of pit stops, the lead was around three seconds, but you never got the feeling that Rosberg could really cut into it.

*WORST FEAR: On Lap 23, Rosberg had a fairly substantial tire lock-up, but it seemed very much like any other such event.  Until you realized that suddenly the gap from Hamilton was over seven seconds, not the three it'd been all race.  Then came the call to the pit lane: "I'm losing engine power."  A whole lap passed before we heard the response from the Mercedes mechanics... Rosberg's KERS unit had packed up and gone home for the night.  As a result, Rosberg was going to be down some 200hp on power for the rest of the race, and his braking was going to suffer as well.  By Lap 27, Massa had caught and passed Rosberg for second place.

*AND THEN:  Rosberg's pleas for something to do... anything... to keep him in the top five went unanswered.  He fell to seventh after his next pit stop, something of an adventure with his electronics beginning to get wonky.  Meanwhile, the Mercedes pit wall was telling Hamilton that his teammate "was no longer a threat."  In response, he dialed back his engine just a bit... choosing reliability over speed, in the hope that his power unit wouldn't cough up a lung as well.  This allowed Felipe Massa an opportunity to close the gap as he headed into his last stop.

*FINALLY:  On Lap 43, Massa pitted for the last time, putting on the super-soft tires and returning some 10 seconds behind Hamilton with 10 laps to go.  The Williams driver immediately began taking a second or two off the lead every lap.  Eventually, Hamilton's racing instinct got the better of him and he turned his engine back up to full power, putting paid to Massa's charge.  Even with that, he only led the Brazilian by 2.5 seconds when he crossed the finish line to win both the 2014 Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi and the 2014 World Driver's Championship.  Valterri Bottas, Massa's teammate at Williams, came along in third, giving Williams their first double podium since Monaco in 2005.  Nico Rosberg finished in 14th, after refusing a request from the pit lane to retire the car. 

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Daniel Ricciardo was forced to start the race from the pit lane, thanks to Red Bull's front-wing chicanery.  He finished the race in fourth place, a full forty seconds ahead of his Ferrari-bound teammate 4Time Vettel in eighth.  Not too shabby.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Last year, Williams scored five points and finished 9th in the Constructor's Championship.  This season, they finished with 320 points, third in the Constructor's Championship, and a double podium to put a gold star on the whole proceedings.  Not too bad.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE:


*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

"It's the greatest day of my life." - Lewis Hamilton

"It was close at the end, who would have thought?" - Felipe Massa

"Speak for yourself." - Valterri Bottas

"Vettel who?" - Daniel Riccardio

"If I'm now done with Formula 1, this is as good a way as any to go out, I suppose." - Jenson Button

"Don't mind me, just passing through." - Nico Hulkenberg

"I swear to you, I really was in the race today." - Sergio Perez

"Maranello, here I come!  My favorite color is now red." - 4Time Vettel

"What the king says I cannot go against. The king is the king. He is always right." - HWMNBN (note: King Juan Carlos of Spain said that he'd been told that HWMNBN would be driving for McLaren in 2015.  Actually, he abdicated in favor of his son earlier this year, so once he was the King of Spain.)

"mrmmrmrmbl mrlmlbbl mrmbblllmlbr mrmrmrrmrmlbl mmmmblbph." - Kimi Raikkonen

"He’s done an amazing year, an amazing job and he was the best driver on the grid this year, for sure." - Nico Rosberg (speaking of Hamilton).

So.  That's it for the 2014 season.  Congratulations to Mercedes for just completely dominating the entire year.  The next race will be in Australia, March 15th, 2015.  Thanks to all the F1U! readers for following along for another year, and we'll see you soon.

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Mini-F1Update!: Brazil 2014

Blue skies were above Autodromo Jose Carlos Pace as the Thundering Herd made its way to the grid in São Paulo.  Mercedes' Nico Rosberg, #2 in the Driver's Championship, led the way, with his teammate Lewis Hamilton, leader in the Championship, right next to him and local boy Felipe Massa, driving for Williams, in third.  What would this volatile combination do when the lights went out?  THIS is your mini-F1Update! for the 2014 Grand Prix of Brazil!

*LIGHTS OUT:  A mostly clean start saw Lewis Hamilton make a blinder of a start from second... and his teammate Nico Rosberg make an even better one.  As a result, the two led the field into the first turn and immediately begin to pull away.  However, Rosberg couldn't open much of a lead on his Silver Arrows compatriot, and with the slippery tarmac and hot track temperatures butchering the Soft tires, this was clearly going to be a sprint to the first pit stop.  We didn't have long to wait; the Lotus of Pastor Maldonado stopped on Lap 4, and most of the rest of the field followed along the next few laps.  When leader Rosberg came in on Lap 8, Hamilton had his first chance to jump into the lead via the pits.

*DID IT WORK?:  The pit crew did its best for Hamilton when he stopped on the next lap, but to no avail; he had closed the gap somewhat, but was still behind his championship rival.  Both were on the Medium tires now, however, and Hamilton had plenty of time.  Protecting the rubber, Hamilton lagged back, the gap to the leader opening to as much as two seconds.  As the second round of stops approached, Hamilton put the hammer down and the gap began to fall.  The lead was down to under one second when Rosberg hit the pit lane..

*DID IT WORK THIS TIME?:  On Lap 27, Rosberg pitted.  Hamilton immediately set the fast lap of the race... and stayed out for another lap.  After the race, he said that he had been expecting to be called in on Lap 28, so he burned his tires to the ground.  Being told to stay out took him by surprise, and his tortured tires protested.  Going into Turn 4 on Lap 28, Hamilton wound up leaving the track in a lurid slide that sent him off towards the barriers.  While no physical damage was done, save to tires that were already begging for mercy, Hamilton lost over seven seconds to his rival. 

*REALLY?:  After making his stop, Hamilton drove away apologizing to the pit wall for his screwup.  He was immediately told that the race wasn't over and he could catch Rosberg.  With that encouragement ringing in his ears, the leader in the Driver's Championship metaphorically cocked his cap, rolled up his sleeves and went back to work.  By Lap 40, the lead had been halved to 3.5 seconds.  Nine laps later, the lead was under two seconds.

*DASH TO THE END:  Rosberg came in for his final set of tires on Lap 50, and Hamilton again burned his tires off in preparation for his final stop.  This time, however, he came in as expected... and his pit crew provided him with new rubber in under 2.5 seconds.  As he made his way back onto the track, he had to be mentally willing his teammate to make some sort of bobble.  That didn't occur, and he was forced to slot in less than a second behind Rosberg.  For the next twenty laps, the lead was less than a second, Hamilton looking for some way past his teammate.  There's no doubt, however, that the pit wall was reminding him that he didn't have to win this race and turning both cars into fragments of carbon fiber would be A Bad Thing... or worse, breaking HIS car and leaving Rosberg unscathed.  Hamilton, wisely, didn't push the issue.  Make no mistake, he was still looking for an opportunity to pass, he just didn't do anything rash.  Rosberg never gave him the opening, and led his teammate across the finish line, setting us up for the Double-Points Showdown in Abu Dhabi in two weeks.

*ALSO:  São Paulo's own Felipe Massa had quite the adventuresome day.  He started in third, got a five-second penalty for speeding in the pit lane, dropped to 13th after serving it on his second stop, worked his way back up the field, tried to get McLaren to change his tires during his third stop, and held off a game Jenson Button for the final podium position to the jubilant reactions of his fellow Brazilians.  Busy day, that.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Nico Rosberg.  He didn't have to win today to still have a chance at the Driver's Championship, but cutting the lead to 17 points gives him a better shot at it.  For example, if he wins at Abu Dhabi, Hamilton must finish second to win the Championship.  He could have broken today, made a mistake that let Hamilton by... and didn't.  Stout drive.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Williams.  While Valterri Bottas had his race ruined by seat belts working their way loose, Massa had a solid podium, setting up a tense struggle with Ferrari next race for third in the Constructor's Championship.  Williams leads 254 - 210 with 86 points in play.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE:  When Hamilton went for his ride on Lap 28, the race was basically over right there.  Hamilton says it wasn't, and he should have passed his teammate anyway.  Rosberg says that even if Hamilton hadn't gone afield, he would have kept him behind.  Don't believe it.  Both drivers know that the race was decided on Hamilton's goof... and that Rosberg had no answer when he came back.

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

"Fastest in Practice 1, 2, and 3.  Fastest in all three Quals sessions.  Won the race.  My weekend." - Nico Rosberg

"I let you win.  You know it.  I know it.  THEY know it." - Lewis Hamilton

"Ha ha I nearly stopped in McLaren's pits.  Oh, Felipe, I'm such a joker." - Felipe Massa

"Can I please have a drive next year?  I'm clearly not washed up." - Jenson Button

"One more race, then Ferrari." - 4Time Button

"One more race, then... that's a secret.  Even to me." - HWMNBN

"mrmrmmrbrlrm mrmrlrlrbrlrmrmr mrmrlrbrlrnlrmrlmr rrrrr." - Kimi Raikkonen

"Did I get any TV time?" - Nico Hulkenberg

"Fourth is really impressive for such an old guy, I'm happy for him." - Kevin Magnussen

"If you told me I'd have a problem with my engine, I'd believe you.  Tire failure?  Sure, makes sense.  Gimpy brakes?  You bet.  Hydraulics, oil, batteries, KERS, even electronics, fine.  But seat belt problems???  REALLY?" - Valterri Bottas.

So that's that.  The last race of the year is two weeks from now in Abu Dhabi.  We'll get our first champion not named Sebastian Vettel in five years there, too!  See ya then.

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Mini-F1Update!: United States 2014

A beautiful day, the type you only get in the American West, greeted the F1 Rancheros as they brought their steers to market steeds to the lights.  As has become the norm, the two Mercedes drivers led the rest of the pack to the grid... which would get home first?  THIS is your Mini-F1Update! for the 2014 United States Grand Prix!

*LIGHTS OUT SAFETY CAR:  It wasn't really that fast, but close.  Roughly half-way around the first lap, the Force India of Sergio Perez bonked the rear of Kimi Raikkonen's Ferrari, then did unspeakable things to the Sauber of Adrian Sutil.  While the Red Car was undamaged, Perez suffered a nose removal and suspension damage, and Sutil came to a halt sideways on the racing line.  Immediately a Safety Car was called out, one that lasted four laps as sweepers manned their brooms to clean up the immense amount of carbon fiber shards.

*BACK WE GO:  Once the safety car went away, Rosberg held the lead easily through the first round of pitstops.  Once the two Mercs were on fresh rubber, however, things changed.  For whatever reason, the new tires sat better on Hamilton's car.  He immediately began to whittle away at Rosberg's lead, passing him on Lap 24.  While his lead would never get much higher than three seconds, it also was never under any sort of threat, either  Hamilton would win the race by a couple of seconds over his teammate, opening his driver's championship lead to 24 points with 75 points available.

*IN OTHER NEWS:  Lotus' Pastor Maldonado earned his first point of the year today, bringing the team's total to nine.  Last year, they scored 315.  It's impossible to imagine any team having a more desperate season than that.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  4Time Vettel.  Starting from the pit lane due to an engine change, he wound up enduring four pit stops.  The last came with eight laps to go, and dropped him to 13th.  By the end of the race, the fresh rubber had allowed him to go insane, jumping up to 7th... and with one more lap, he may have caught HWMNBN for 6th.  Not too shabby, that.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  If I could find any other team to give it to, I would... but there isn't one, so Mercedes, here ya go.  Another 1-2 lockout, ho-hum.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE: Hamilton's pass of Rosberg on Lap 24.  Under normal rules, it would have almost guaranteed him his second world championship.  As it is, he's still in good shape, but one mechanical glitch could cost him everything... despite having won 10 races to Rosberg's four.

*SELECTED QUOTES OF THE RACE:

"Yeeeeeeee-hawwwww!  Get along, lil' dogies!" - Lewis Hamilton

"I don't know him." - Nico Rosberg

"Did you know that the Australian version of the 'cowboy' is a stockman?" - Daniel Ricciardo

"In Brazil, they're called 'gauchos'." - Felipe Massa

"Which is also the name of an album by Steely Dan.  Finland doesn't have cowboys, unless you count the ones that watch the reindeer herds." - Valterri Bottas

"The cowboy tradition originated in Spain, leading to the vaquero of Mexico." - HWMNBN

"There's a certain subset of Germany that's obsessed with the American Old West.  An author named Karl May who wrote dozens of German Westerns, despite never having visited America, is to blame." - 4Time Vettel

"The Jutland region of Denmark has a very 'Old West' feel to it, even today." - Kevin Magnussen

"Venezuela is nigh-on the birthplace of cowboys, except we call them llaneros." - Pastor Maldonado

"In France, we have gardians, who herd cattle in Provence." - Jules Vergne

Next weekend, we're in Brazil!  See ya then.

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Mini-F1Update!: Russia 2014

It was a beautifully sunny day at Sochi as the F1 Circus, missing one member, pulled into their starting slots on the grid.  A win by polesitter Lewis Hamilton would put his teammate and driver's championship rival Nico Rosberg in dire straits indeed.  And what of the upstart Williams of Vallteri Bottas, could he make a difference?  THIS is your F1 Update! for the inaugural Grand Prix of Russia!

*LIGHTS OUT:  We'd come to discover two things about the Sochi Autodrom during practice and qualifying.  First, the track was quite difficult to pass on, and second, it was ridiculously easy on tires.  That meant most cars would be making one pit stop, taking any strategy relating to the pits out of the game. It also meant that Mercedes Nico Rosberg would be desperate to lead his teammate Lewis Hamilton after the first real turn, Turn 2.  When the race began, Rosberg pushed his teammate hard as they ran down the front "straight," and it looked like he might be able to pull off an amazingly important pass.  Then he waited just a little too long and braked a lot too hard, front tires smoking like a Grateful Dead concert without the twenty-minute guitar solo.  He wound up going off-track, rejoining in the lead, but having to give the position up because of the track limit violation.  Almost as soon as his team told him to surrender the lead to Hamilton, Rosberg reported that he had to pit due to massive vibrations.  Entirely unsurprising, considering that he had squared off his front tires.  This he duly did at the end of the first lap, falling all the way down to 20th, ahead of only Felipe Massa, who pitted a few moments later.  As Rosberg waded back into the fray, he asked the pitlane what the tire strategy was going to be.  The reply couldn't have been what he wanted to hear: "We think you need to go the rest of the race on this set, Nico."  Fifty-two laps on a single set of medium tires.

*MEANWHILE:  Up at the front of the pack, Hamilton was dominating the rest of the field with the heartless precision of a scientist pouring molten aluminum into anthills.  Farther and farther ahead he pulled, until he was able to make his only pitstop and not lose first place.  And that's the way things ended up, with Hamilton leading the rest of the field home unchallenged save for the first lap.

*BUT...:  That's not to say that behind him, amazing things weren't occurring.  Rosberg, admittedly in the best car on track, began to haul himself up the field, making the mediums work without visibly stressing them in any way.  At one point, McLaren driver Jenson Button was told that Rosberg was apparently going to go the whole way on one set of tires, and the disbelief in his voice was apparent.  As the pit stops came and went, he jumped farther and farther up the grid, ending up in third behind the Williams Valtteri Bottas as he tried to get his new tires warmed up.  It took a couple of laps for the Merc to dispose of the upstart, but it happened soon enough, putting an exclamation mark on the day's proceedings, if he could keep his tires fresh.

*THE END:  When the entirety of the day's excitement is wondering if someone's tires were going to last 53 laps, you know the race wasn't great.  It wasn't.  Rosberg pulled off the "impossible" task, ending up 15 seconds behind in second with tires that looked liked they could go another ten laps easy.  Bottas was five seconds adrift in third.  Hamilton was handed the winner's trophy by Vladimir Putin, and the day's events came to an end.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Nico Rosberg.  Yes, the problem was one of his own making, but the recovery drive he performed today was pretty darn impressive.  20th to 2nd, making one sent of tires go 52 laps in the process?  Yup, that works.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Mercedes clinched the Constructor's Championship today, barring penalties from nefarious wrongdoings of course.  Yup, that's a good season.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE: 

That was the race, right there. 

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

"Well.  That was easy, wasn't it?" - Lewis Hamilton

"Shut up." - Nico Rosberg

"I can't believe I shook that guy's friggin' hand." - Valtteri Bottas, Finn

"Well, that wasn't a bad day at all." - Jenson Button (note: real quote)

"It was like a chilled-out Sunday drive." - Kevin Magnussen (note: real quote.  This is not a good way to describe a race)

The Blundering Herd moves on to Austin in two weeks!  Halloween weekend in Texas, y'all!  See ya then!

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Mini-F1Update!: Japan 2014

Typhoon Phanfone awaited the Blundering Herd as they made their way to the grid at Suzuka, rain pelting down in great grand buckets that made one wonder if there would be fish waiting at the first turn.  It wasn't a question of if it would affect the race but how much.  THIS is your mini-F1 Update! for the 2014 Grand Prix of Japan.

*LIGHTS... UM... ER...:  The circuit was so wet that the race began behind the Safety Car, the field rolling off in grid order... and that's the way they stayed for two laps, save for Marcus Ericsson spinning his Caterham off at the end of the first lap.  He resumed at the back of the field.  At the end of the second orbit of the track, the expected Red Flag was thrown, bringing the proceedings to a halt.  Unexpectedly, the field lined up behind the Safety Car in the pit lane instead of the grid, sending pundits everywhere scrambling for the FIA rulesbook.  It turns out there are circumstances where this can be a thing, the teams brought out the gazebos and umbrellas, and we settled in for the latest installment of Rain Delay Theatre.  It became a guessing game, wondering if the FIA Weather Llama, Pedro, had figured what the typhoon was doing.

*RESTART AND SAFETY CAR:  After 25 minutes, it became clear that Pedro knew his stuff.  The rain had... not stopped, exactly, but was very much reduced.  The field was sent back out behind the Safety Car, their mandatory full-wet tires pumping 65 liters of water off the track per second... except when the cars hit rivulets deeper than the tire treads.  Then things could become exciting.  Halfway through the resumed third lap, the Ferrari of HWMNBN came to a silent halt at Turn 7, water having had an adverse reaction with the car's electronics.

The recovery vehicle stationed at Turn 7 trundled out and hooked up the car, and all progressed as normal.  By the end of Lap 4, Mercedes' Lewis Hamilton was on the radio saying that the track was fine, let's go racing.  By the end of Lap 8, teams and drivers are discussing shifting to Intermediate tires, so well was the track drying.  Finally, on Lap 9 the Safety Car came in and we got our first racing of the day.

*BOTH OF YOU, RACE LIKE YOU WANT TO WIN!:  As has been the routine this season, the two Mercedes drivers, polesitter Nico Rosberg and Hamilton in 2nd, decided they wanted to be alone and immediately drove away from the rest of the field.  Indeed, at one point they were going faster on full wet tires than the rest of the field, most of whom had switched to Inters as soon as possible.  By Lap 25, the two were about 18 seconds ahead of then-third place Jenson Button.  Finally, on Lap 29, Hamilton made his move, passing Rosberg on the outside of Turn 1 in a lovely example of car control and knowing exactly where the limits of traction were.

*RUN TO THE END:  After both drivers put on new Inters, Hamilton began to pull away, creating a seven second gap back to his teammate, which is where it basically stayed.  However, ominous signs were in the air.  On Lap 40, the pit wall called out to both their drivers, warning them that the rain was coming.  Hamilton pointed out that it was already here, particularly in the first turn.  A couple of laps later, Jenson Button stopped for full wet tires, an indication of how bad it was getting out there.

*GRIM REMINDER:  If you've read The Pond since Saturday, you know what happened next.  Adrian Sutil aquaplaned off at Turn 7, the same turn that HWMNBN had his Ferrari die.  A hard shunt ended the Sauber driver's day, and the recovery vehicle trundled out to extract the broken car from the tire wall.  A lap later, the Marussia of Jules Bianchi aquaplaned off in the exact same spot as Sutil, jumped the curb, flew mostly over the gravel trap, and went under the recovery vehicle.

The immediate aftermath of the Bianchi accident.  That's Sutil on the right.

The Safety Car was called out , and was immediately passed on-track by the Medical Car.  After the field was picked up by Berndt Maylander, another red flag was thrown, and as the rain continued to pelt down, the sun dipped closer to the horizon, and an ambulance took to the cirucit, the race was halted.  Hamilton led Rosberg, Seb Vettel, Daniel Ricciardo, Jenson Button, Valterri Bottas, Felipe Massa, Nico Hulkenberg, Jules Vergne, and Sergio Perez across the metaphorical line.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Lewis Hamilton.  In a season where the Mercedes has been the dominant car, Hamilton actually had to drive in today's bad-then-okay-then-bad conditions, and served notice that Rosberg is going to have to beat him for the championship.  After today, one gets the feeling that that isn't going to happen.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  An honorable mention to McLaren, who made all the right calls today and, if the race hadn't've been red flagged, could have had a podium.  But the team of the race goes to Mercedes.  Another 1-2 finish, tough but fair driving on track, and the realization that there's no reason to wreck each other.  A good change from earlier in the season.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE:  Considering the pall it put over the rest of the event, Bianchi's crash gets the nod.

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTE OF THE RACE:

"Everything that happened with the racing on track is secondary today, one of us is in a bad shape and we don't yet know how he is. Jules had a bad accident and we hope to have some very good news, very soon. Not knowing what's going on feels terrible, I think all the drivers really feel with him, as we know how difficult and slippery it was today; we hope for the very best." - Sebastian Vettel, speaking for all of us.

Next weekend, the F1 Circus moves to Sochi for the inaugural Grand Prix of Russia.  We'll see you then.

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Mini-F1Update!: Singapore 2014

Clear night skies accompanied by oppressive heat and humidity greeted the Thundering Herd as they made their way to the grid, but all was not well for everybody.  What fate befell the drivers, and how did it affect the world driver's championship?  THIS is your Mini-F1Update! for the 2014 Grand Prix of Singapore!

*(NOT QUITE) THE RACE:  Right off the bat, the weather drove a stake through the heart of Gandalf Kobayashi's Caterham steed, a power failure accompanied by smoke and stench preventing him from ever making it to the starting grid.  Meanwhile, Championship points leader Nico Rosberg was experiencing a nightmare of his own.  As he sat there on the pre-recon grid, his electrical system failed.  A switch of steering wheels failed to reboot the car, so with 10 minutes to go before roll-off a swarm of mechanics descended upon his cockpit.  To no avail; when the field headed around, his Mercedes sat sullenly in its grid position, waiting for everybody to go past before it got pushed to the pit lane.  Eventually the mechanics got the bare minimum functional... the car started, Rosberg could shift gears, but DRS and the KERS boost were dead.  He would start from the pit lane, struggle to catch the backmarkers, and retire when it came time for the first pit stops when it wouldn't restart.

*THE RACE:  After all that drama, polesitter Lewis Hamilton, Rosberg's teammate and sitting second in Championship race, had to be grinning from ear to ear.  He had to be the favorite today before Rosberg's problems, now it was a gimme.  Except when the lights went out, it was clear that he wasn't going to have it all his way.  Ferrari's HWMNBN jumped from 5th to 2nd in one turn,  then relinquishing the position to Red Bull's Seb Vettel by Turn 3... and neither of them were in a mood to let the Mercedes run away and hide.

*SAFETY CAR:  On Lap 30, Hamilton had six second lead over HWMNBN.  But then the inevitable occurred: a safety car came out to clean up debris after a surprisingly messy loss of a front wing, scattering carbon fiber shards hither and yon.  It took nearly 20 minutes and seven laps for the clean-up to complete, setting up an interesting situation.  Hamilton at this moment was on barely-used super-soft tires, while his three immediate challengers (HWMNBN, Vettel, and Daniel Ricciardio) were on softs.  The good news for Hamilton was that he would be about two full seconds per lap faster than his opponents.  There were two bits of bad news: 1) the super-softs wouldn't last the rest of the race, and B) he had to stop, by rule, to put on the soft tires anyway.  So to have a chance to pit without losing the lead, he needed to open up a thirty second lead.

*THERE WE GO:   On Lap 37, the race resumed.  By Lap 45, the Merc driver had a 17 second lead over Vettel, who had leapfrogged HWMNBN in the pits.  On Lap 51, he had a 25 second lead, but the super-softs were failing; a radio call to the pit wall made his concern clear as he pointed out wear lines appearing on his rear tires.  Reluctantly, he dove into the pits for a 2.9second stop.  Had it been enough?

*THE END:  It wasn't.  When he returned to the track, he was in second place behind Vettel and with Ricciardio close behind.  But it was Lap 53 of 61, and Hamilton was on new rubber.  By Lap 55 he had retaken the lead, and began to open the gap up once again.  Once the race bumped up against the two hour time limit, ending the contest a lap early, Hamilton had a thirteen second lead again.  He led Vettel and Ricciardio home ahead of HWMNBN, taking the win and the lead in the World Driver's Championship in the process.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Jules Vergne, Toro Rosso.  Huh?  We didn't even mention him during the recap, but here we are.  Vergne, driving for his F1 life, started the race in 12th and during the course of the contest suffered two five-second penalties for leaving the track limits.  Despite this, he still managed to bring his Toro Rosso up through the field to finish in sixth place.  If someone like HWMNBN or Rosberg had done this, eh, whatever, it's the car.  You can't say that about the Toro Rosso.  Great job, Vergne!

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Red Bull.  2-3 on the podium, and if they get a break or two, they still have a shot at the Constructor's Championship to boot.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE:  This doesn't always have to be important to the final outcome.  This time, it was when a Williams mechanic decided to slap a co-worker.  How extraordinary.  The team is claiming it was "banter," but if we "bantered" like that here at F1U! HQ, there'd be lawsuits.

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

"Ha ha ha ah ah ahahahah hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaaha!" - Lewis Hamilton

"Mmm... cold champagne!" - 4Time Vettel

"My brakes were acting up, KERS and DRS were unhappy, and I still finish third?  Hooly Dooly!" - Daniel Ricciardio

"Damn Safety Car came out at just the wrong time... but then, I shouldn't complain, should I?" - HWMNBN

"Huh.  Fernando really was faster than me." - Felipe Massa

That's enough for today.  Our next race will be in two weeks, at Suzuka Japan!  We'll see you then!

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Mini-F1Update!: Italy 2014

Blue skies and hot asphalt greeted the F1 Circus as they cautiously eyed the old intimidating banked oval just beyond the pits at the Autodromo di Monza, home of the Italian Grand Prix.  The usual suspects were stacked at the top of the grid, and it seemed like a parade of epic stature was about to begin.  Did it?  Or did the Ferrari-mad tifosi celebrate a miracle victory by the Red Cars?  THIS is your mini-F1Update! for the 2014 Grand Prix of Italy!

*THE RACE: ...was boring as heck.  We didn't even get the anticipated duel between the Mercedes teammates Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton, sitting 1-2 on the grid, as they charged down into the first turn.  Hamilton's electronics got uppity and wouldn't allow him to engage race start settings.  As a result, when the lights went out he immediately dropped to fourth place, swamped by the better starters.  In the process, he bottled Williams' Valterri Bottas up behind him, which saw the Finn drop down to 11th, practically never to be seen again.  However, once the issue cleared up, the superior Mercedes chassis began to work it's way to the front.  By Lap 4, he was in third.  By Lap 10, he was in second and gunning for the leader.  An unexpected excursion by Rosberg into the first chicane's run-off area cut the lead to two seconds, and after the first (and expected to be ONLY) pit stop, another blown first chicane handed Hamilton the lead.  As it turned out, it also handed him the victory, as Rosberg had no way to fight back.  However annoying that may have been to the Championship leader, it's still clear that the Mercedes is the class of the field: third place went to Williams' Felipe Massa, some 22 seconds behind Rosberg, with Massa's teammate Bottas some 15 seconds adrift of him.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE: Daniil "Kid" Kvyat.  Many of you are wondering who the heck this is.  Driving for Toro Rosso, Kvyat began the race 21st due to an engine change after qualifying 11th.  He then managed to haul his Toro Rosso up to 11th by the end of the race after running as high as fourth... a pretty darn good performance when the rest of the field was very much a parade.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Williams.  They finished third and fourth, with Massa getting his first podium.  They're proving to be a serious challenger for 2nd in the constructor's championship.  They've got to make up 95 points in six races, but that's doable.  That'll be an interesting thing to watch the rest of the way.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE:  No question, Rosberg deciding to preserve his tires and taking to the run-off area for the second time.  This handed the win to Lewis Hamilton... and was undoubtedly the right thing to do.  If he had locked up his tires and flat-spotted one or more of them, he'd need to make a second pit stop and could easily have finished third or worse.  He may not be as fast as Hamilton on track, but he's still in the lead in the Driver's Championship.

*SELECTED DRIVERS QUOTES OF THE RACE:

"HELL yeah.  Who's da man?" - Lewis Hamilton

"Second place is still good." - Nico Rosberg

"See?  I can still drive." - Felipe Massa

"I'm happy for Felipe.  Really.  I am." - Valterri Bottas

"(grin)" - Daniel Ricciardo

"Does anybody else think that all that smiling has got to be a put-on?" - 4Time Vettel

"Was I ever on TV today?" - Sergio Perez

"Retire?  Me?  Well, maybe so." - Jenson Button

"Mrmsmdmdfsfdmhl mrlrmrlbrlrbr lrmlrmlrmrbrr." - Kimi Raikkonen

"Me, I'm not so good." - Kevin Magnussen

Two weeks hence, Singapore's street circuit awaits us.  See ya there!

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Mini-F1Update!: Belgium 2014

No rain greeted the F1 Circus as they made their way to the grid, but cautious eyes were cocked to the skies.  This is Spa, after all, and if it isn't raining at Spa, it's getting ready to.  So did it?  What sort of effect did it have on the race?  And can anybody stop Mercedes from running away with this darn thing?  THIS is your Mini-F1Update! for the 2014 Grand Prix of Belgium!

*THE RACE:  Right off the starting line, it was clear that Lewis Hamilton, sitting second on the grid in his Mercedes, was going for the win.  He quickly took the lead, all the while being hounded by Red Bull's 4Time Vettel.  That threat ended at the end of the Kemmel Straight when Vettel missed the turn, letting pole-sitting Nico Rosberg back into 2nd place.  Rosberg spent the rest of the first lap tracking down his teammate.  On Lap 2, at the same place Vettel went off, Rosberg made the turn but attempted what may have been an overoptimistic move.  The result was a shredded left-rear tire for Hamilton and a broken front-right nosewing for the man leading the Driver's Championship.  Almost immediately, Hamilton began whining more than a jet turbine.  His race was ruined, dropping from the lead to 19th in the space of one lap, while the tire carcass tore pieces of bodywork free.  He would eventually retire the car, out of the points.  Rosberg pitted for new tires and a new nose on Lap 8, relinquishing the lead to Red Bull's Daniel Ricciardo in the process.

*THE END:  And that's how it ended up.  Rosberg's nose change forced him into a three-stop strategy while Ricciardo stayed with a two-stopper.  This gave the Red Bull roughly a 30 second advantage, regardless of relative speeds on track.  To be fair, Ricciardo needed all of it.  Rosberg made his last stop with eight laps to go, and immediately began to rip two or three seconds/lap off of the Australian's lead.  Surprisingly, much of this was down to the greater maneuverability of the Mercedes.  Red Bull was carrying practically no rear wing in this race; this was great on the high-speed sections of the track, but cost them on the turns.  Qualifying with such little rear wing in the wet must have been a nightmare!  But Rosberg's charge fell short by about three seconds in the end.  Twenty-five seconds later, Valterri Bottas brought his Williams home in third place.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Daniel Ricciardo was handed the opportunity to win his third race this season when the two Merc drivers made contact, and he grabbed it.  In the end, with tires beginning to give up and a hard-charging Nico Rosberg on fresh rubber, the Australian could have thrown it away with a single error... yet no such error occurred.  It may have been handed to him, but he still ran with it.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Red Bull.  They're clearly second-best this year, but it's a solid second, and a first-fifth today has made them contenders for the Driver's Championship as well.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE:  If the accident between Rosberg and Hamilton hadn't've occurred, chances are they finish one-two.  Now, however, Mercedes is saying things like "that was unacceptable" and "Nico was at fault" and "There will be team orders."  This can't bode well for the team down the road.  They'll still win the Constructor's Championship.  They'll probably win the Driver's.  But there's going to be a change down the road.

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

"Freak yeah.  Get yo freak on!" - Daniel Ricciardo

"It was British fans that were booing me on the podium." - Nico Rosberg

"Y'know, this is my fourth podium in five races.  Bedammned!" - Valterri Bottas

"mrmrmrblrm mr rmmrbrrlrlmrmr rmrmrlrrlrmrbrmrmr mrmrm." - Kimi Raikkonnen

"So, having problems this season... let's change race engineers!" - 4Time Vettel

"(whine)" - Lewis Hamilton (note: this video really does capture his complains accurately... even the fireball)

So that's it for Belgium!  In two weeks, we find ourselves in Italy for the fastest race on the calendar: Monza!  We'll see you there!

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F1 Update!: Hungary 2014

The Grand Prix of Hungary only coughs up a good race when it rains... and it doesn't rain that often in Hungary in July, apparently.  Did it this time?  THIS is your F1Update! for the 2014 Grand Prix of Hungary.

*THE RACE:  Approximately 40 minutes before the start of the race, the heavens opened up and most of the contents of Lake Balaton found itself deposited upon the Hungaroring.  Charlie Whiting hung out the "changing conditions" sign, leading the teams to scramble to make any weather-related adjustments that they cared to apply to their cars.  Unfortunately for everybody, the track ranged from soaked to merely damp to "rain, what rain?"  This is the worst sort of situation for Intermediate tires, which desperately need water on them to keep them from dying.  The race began with everybody tiptoeing their way around the track.  Lewis Hamilton, starting from the pitlane, spun in Turn 2, doing a touch of damage to his front wing, but it looked like everybody was managing the conditions.  Until Lap 8.

*SAFETY CAR:  That's when the entire race went into a cocked hat.  The Caterham of Marcus Erickson went into the tire barriers outside of Turn 4, impacting hard enough to trip the Impact Detector in the cockpit.

He walked away before the Medical Car arrived on scene, but there were some butterflies in the stomachs of the assembled F1U! crew when the first marshal on scene gave the signal for "possible injury".  A few laps later, still under the Safety Car, the Lotus of Lettuce Grosjean ended up hitting the wall on the inside of Turn 4, extending the SC period for another couple of laps.

*FALLOUT:  War.  War never changes.  Just before the Safety Car was called out, Mercedes' Nico Rosberg led the Williams of Valterri Bottas, HWMNBN's Ferrari, and the McLaren of Jenson Button.  When Berndt Maylander exited the pit lane, it was after those four had gone past the entry to pit lane.  Suddenly, the people behind the leaders were leading!  Daniel Ricciardo got the big boost, jumping from fifth to the lead. 

*STRATEGERY:  Under the Safety Car, McLaren consulted their weather radar closely and came to the conclusion that there was going to be more rain soon.  While the rest of the field stopped and switched to slick tires, both Jenson Button and Kevin Magnussen were kept on Intermediates.  The rain did not come, and both cars rapidly burned their tires down to the ground.  After that, neither were in contention for anything important.

*AND ALL THE REST:  One problem with wet weather races is that they require exquisite attention if one is to recap them adequately, and that level of focus is currently beyond the abilities of the F1U! crew.  There was another Safety Car on Lap 23, when Sergio Perez crashed on the front straight, and that turned the resumed race back into a dog's breakfast.  We'll skip to Lap 60, which saw HWMNBN leading Lewis Hamilton by just over a second, who was being pursued by Daniel Ricciardo by about a second.  While it looked for a few laps like the Ferrari driver could maybe... maybe... keep the other two behind, his tires were too old to legitimately hold the lead.  Surprisingly, it wasn't Hamilton, gunning to become the first driver to win from the pit lane, but Ricciardo who took the lead after disposing of the Merc.  Hamilton's fading tires also prevented him from getting past HWMNBN and left him open to a charging Rosberg to boot.  While the two teammates squabbled, the Red Car came home in 2nd place.  It should rain more often at the Hungaroring.

*OH, BY THE WAY:  Force India's Nico Hulkenberg ran into the back of his teammate and wound up stuck off the final turn on Lap 16, engine stalled.  This brought to an end his points finish string that actually started last year at the Grand Prix of the Americas.  This leaves only one driver to have earned points at every race this season: HWMNBN.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Lewis Hamilton.  Start from the pit lane, see how well you do in a race.  Think you can get a podium out of it?

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Ferrari.  We're not fans of the red cars from Maranello, but dear lord did they need that result.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE:  In the mid-late portion of the race, Nico Rosberg was charging up on Lewis Hamilton, clearly somewhat faster for whatever reason.  The Mercedes pit wall called Hamilton and told him to move over and let his teammate past.  Hamilton responded with "aw hell naw."  To be fair, he said if Rosberg could get close enough, he'd move over.  Rosberg couldn't do it.  This may have cost Mercedes the race, but he had a point. 

There will be no quotes of the race this time around, as we're now in the F1 Summer Break, and none of the drivers stuck around to be interviewed.  The next race is at Spa-Francopants on August 24th.  We'll see you then!!!

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Mini-F1Update!: Germany 2014

Explanations are forthcoming, but for now, please accept this Mini-F1U! for the Grand Prix of Germany.

*THE RACE:  All Nico Rosberg, all the time.  He led from lights out to checkered flag, and the closest anybody ever came to challenging him was at the beginning of the race.  That challenge, however, was squashed by Turn 1.  So, yes, boring race that way.  Behind him, however, things were all a-quiver with excitement.  Lewis Hamilton, starting 20th due to an accident in Quals and the resulting gearbox change, hacked and slashed his way through the field to finish third.  In the closing laps, he was giving eventual 2nd-place finisher Valterri Bottas the hairy eyeball; only fading tires prevented Hamilton from making a serious attempt to pass.  In other positions, Ferrari's HWMNBN and Red Bull's 4Time Vettel had a furious multi-lap duel, easily the most entertaining part of this race.  HWMNBN showed why he's probably the best driver on the grid, taking his less than stellar F14T up against a better performing RB10 and came out on top.  Alas, Vettel eventually turned the tables late with the help of DRS, but the two of them put on a show of driving skill like we've not seen this season.  It turned out that the Spaniard needed every bit of that skill to stay in front of Vettel's teammate at the end of the race.  On shot tires, he managed to finish a mere 1/10th of a second ahead of Daniel Ricciardo, and there was no chance he could have held him off for another lap.

*OTHER BITS:  We saw two incidents in this race that, thankfully, we've not seen in a while.  First was the Lap 1, Turn 1 wreck caused by Williams' Felipe Massa squeezing McLaren's Kevin Magnusson. 

We here at F1U! hate seeing open-cockpit cars upside down.  You never know what can happen in those incidents... fortunately, Massa escaped injury.  The other incident was Daniil Kyvat's Renault-powered Toro Rosso having some... overheating issues:

The moment the Russian brought the car to a stop, it was almost entirely engulfed in flame and smoke.  Scary moment, scary enough that the Formula One cameramen immediately went from a close-up zoom to a very, very wide shot.  We can't see a driver roasting to death, after all... and it was quite possible that that could have happened.  It didn't, thankfully.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Hamilton.  20th to 3rd, thus limiting the points gain of his championship rival?  Good job, that.

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Williams.  Bottas' 2nd place moved them into third place ahead of Ferrari in the Constructor's championship.  Who'd'a thunk it?

*MOMENT OF THE RACE: HWMNBN vs 4Time.  Took a less-than-stellar race and made it must-see.

No quotes of the race this week.

This weekend is the Hungarian Grand Prix, our least-favorite race on the calendar.  I'm not even going to bother with the track map; here's the TV times:
FRIDAY
Practice 2: 1030a - 12n, tape delay on NBCSN
SATURDAY
Quals: 7a - 830a, live on NBCSN
SUNDAY
Grand Prix of Hungary: 630a - 9a, live on CNBC

We'll be there. You do the same, 'k?  K. 

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F1 Update!: Great Britain 2014

Clouds in the sky warned that we might get weather at Silverstone today, which would just make the race completely bugnutty.  Would that be enough, however, to stop the charge of Mercedes' Nico Rosberg from pole?  Or would 4Time Vettel have enough in pocket to slap the Silver Arrow off path?  THIS is your F1 Update! for the 2014 Grand Prix of Great Britain!

*LIGHTS OUT!  WHOOPS...:  Right off the bat, we knew it wasn't going to be much of a day for 4Time Vettel, as his Red Bull had a truly awful start, falling from second to fifth in the blink of an eye.  Ominously for everybody, the Mercedes of Lewis Hamilton jumped from sixth to fourth almost immediately, opening up the prospect of Hamilton chasing Rosberg for the lead... just like just about every other race this season.  But then Kimi Raikkonnen played his hand.  Starting 20th, he knew he had to make up as many places as possible as early as possible if he was going to earn any points for this race.  Unfortunately, he ran wide at Turn 5, a place with a huge expanse of asphalt runoff for safety.  Knowing this, the Finn just kept his foot down as he returned to the circuit.  Good for him, except for one problem: he misjudged where he was coming back and wound up bumping over a dirt track, sending the rear of his car into the air and, apparently, breaking his suspension at the same time.  When all four tires hit the tarmac, it immediately speared off to the right, slamming head-on into a metal barrier and rebounding back across the track.  At this point, Felipe Massa  came upon the accident.  Screened by the car ahead of him, he only saw the ruined Ferrari at the last moment.  He still had the presence of mind to throw his car into a skid so he hit Raikkonnen a glancing blow instead of running headlong into the ruined Ferrari.  Off to one side, Marussia's Max Chilton had a frighteningly close call as one of the Ferrari's wheels caromed off his car about a foot or so from the cockpit and the driver's head.  Raikkonnen got out of the car, visibly limping from what turned out to be an severe ankle bruise.  His impact with the barrier was measured at 47Gs, and the barrier needed to be replaced as a result.  This brought out the Red Flag, bringing the race to a halt for an hour.

*AND AGAIN: Once the race restarted, it was business as usual for the Mercedes boys.  Rosberg pulled away from the McLaren of Jenson Button in 2nd, while Hamilton blew past Button's teammate Kevin Magnusson for third.  It took only a couple more laps for Hamilton to dispose of Button and set off in pursuit of his teammate.  In the process of dealing with each other, the two Merc drivers managed to open up enough of a lead that they both pitted and resumed without losing any positions.  As the two were on different tire strategies, it looked like we were in for an exciting finish between two evenly balanced drivers.  Until...

*BOOM GOES THE GEARBOX:  Lap 28 or so, when Hamilton swept by a slowing Rosberg, who had lost the ability to shift out of sixth gear.  Rosberg ended up parking behind a barrier, out of the race.  Nobody came close to catching Hamilton, who finished a full 30 seconds ahead of the second place car of Valtteri Bottas.

*NOT ALL BAD: Which didn't mean that the rest of the race was dull.  Ferrari's HWMNBN and Red Bull's 4Time Vettel got into a multi-lap scrap with both drivers pulling off incredible passes at the most unexpected times, fighting wheel-to-wheel for a dozen rounds of the circuit... and each complaining about the other's driving style repeatedly.  In fact, it got so silly the two gave the term "playground argument" a bad name.  Still, it was definitely the highpoint of an otherwise not so great second half.  All of it over 5th place, which Vettel eventually took.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Valtteri Bottas started 14th, a position unlikely to turn into much of a result.  Instead, the surging Williams driver scored his second podium in a row, and the second step to boot.  Next race?

*TEAM OF THE RACE: Red Bull.  4Time finished 5th, Mr Smiley Ricciardo was on the podium, which makes it look like the team might just have turned a corner maybe.  Or maybe not.  Either way, it looked good for them.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE: 

We're lucky it wasn't particularly bad.  20 years ago, Raikkonnen was probably dead. 

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

"Screw Rosberg.  I win." - Lewis Hamilton

"That was good fun!" - Valtteri Bottas (note: real quote)

"Ow!  I feel good!" - Daniel Ricciardo (note: real quote)

"Sorry, Dad, I couldn't swing it for you." - Jenson Button

"whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine" - 4Time Vettel (note: real quote)

"moaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn" - HWMNBN (note: real quote)

Next race is in Germany, and already the Brit Hamilton is throwing barbs at his German teammate Rosberg: "He's not a real German, he is German-Finnish-Monaco-esque-whatever."

Dude, really? 

See you then!

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Mini-F1Update!: Austria 2014

Now that our internet connection seems to be stable enough for us to type for more than a few minutes without going away for an hour, and the peanut gallery appears to be getting restless, it's time.  THIS is your mini-F1Update! for the 2014 Grand Prix of Austria!

*THE RACE:  Not as good as we here at F1U! hoped.  It started off better than we could have hoped, with Williams' Felipe Massa holding the lead from pole and his teammate Valterri Bottas holding back a challenge from the Mercedes of Nico Rosberg.  Amazingly, Rosberg's teammate, Lewis Hamilton, who had started in ninth, made his way up to fourth by the end of the first lap.  And that's how it stayed for pretty much the first 15 laps, until the first round of pitstops.  At that point, it became a question of which team had the best strategists.  The answer came almost immediately: Mercedes.  Rosberg pitted first, and when he regained the track his fresh tires allowed him to turn out a lap so blisteringly fast that neither Williams driver could keep him behind.  The same went for Hamilton, and somewhere the Williams pencilpushers were sitting there, wondering what just happened?  While there was little chance that either Williams driver could have won the race, what chance they had was thrown away by the simple decision to keep them out one more lap each.  IF they had pitted first, one of two things would have happened.  First, they could have forced Mercedes to "shadow" the movements of their rivals, forcing them to react instead of dictating the terms.  Or, secondly, the exact same thing that happened to Massa and Bottas could have happened to the Merc guys: fresh tires, a hot lap while the Silver Arrows are standing still, and the lead could have stayed with the guys with the retro-cool livery.  We'll never know, however.  Even with brakes on the verge of failure and overheating engines power units, Rosberg led his teammate across the line, followed by Bottas and Massa.

*OTHER BITS:  Reigning world champion 4Time Vettel suffered a near-total loss of power on the second lap, before whatever problem it was got fixed and he was on his way, a lap down and never in contention.  He'd last until Lap 36, when the team decided to retire the car.  At Red Bull's home track, no less.  The RedBullRing proved to be an interesting place to hold a F1 race, one that was particularly hard on brakes.  It's been since Montreal, maybe five years ago, since we had seen exploding brake discs, but Toro Rosso's Jules Vergne definitely had that happen on Lap 61.  And finally, in the pre-race festivities, every Austrian F1 driver ever got reunited with their old cars to drive a parade lap or two.  Niki Lauda and his Ferrari 312T drew the most attention, of course, but we here at F1U! were wistful at the sight of Patrick Friesacher behind the wheel of the Minardi PS04 once again.  Ah, Guido and Ethel, how we miss you here at F1U!land.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  Rosberg, we suppose.  We're not hooked on the idea, though.

*TEAM OF THE RACE: Williams.  It's been a very long time since they've had a weekend like this, and there were surely a lot of people up and down the pitlane happy for Sir Frank Williams.  And rightfully so.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE:  "Let's keep Felipe out for one more lap."

*VERY SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

"Keep complaining, Lewis.  Your tears power my car." - Nico Rosberg

"Curse you, Red Baron!" - Lewis Hamilton

"I've never finished on the podium before.  It's so high up here!" - Valterri Bottas

"To pit first and come out fourth is a bit disappointing." - Felipe Massa (note: real quote)

"Felipe, I am faster than you." - HWMNBN (who was closing on Massa at the end)

That's it for this one.  Next up, Silverstone for the British Grand Prix!  See you then, then!

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F1 Update!: Canada 2014

The best day of the weekend greeted the assembled F1 Circus as they took to the grid at Circuit Gilles Villeneuve, Montreal.  This was a mixed blessing: the sun had heated the asphalt to a level where the tires would work beautifully... but it was also hot enough that people were talking about a chance of overheating the tires, too.  But all eyes were turned to the two Silver Arrows poised at the head of the pack.  Mercedes was angling for the first undefeated season, but the two teammates, Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton, had been sniping at each other for weeks.  Everything was shaping up for a great race.  THIS is your F1 Update! for the 2014 Grand Prix of Canada!

*LIGHTS OUT:  Clearly the two Mercedes drivers were completely unconcerned by the 20 cars behind them when the race began.  Hamilton had the better start and was in front of polesitter Rosberg as they headed to Turn 1, but Rosberg had the racing line.  Quite correctly, he made darn sure his teammate respected that fact, leaving him zero room as they went through the turn.  This resulted in Hamilton having to slow down and leave the circuit briefly, allowing Red Bull's Sebastian Vettel to move past into second place.  Surprising, but it was the first turn and Hamilton certainly had the better car.  Then the race changed.

*SAFETY CAR:  Two weeks ago in Monaco, backmarker team Marussia earned their first ever World Championship points.  Whatever the exact opposite of that feeling is, is what they felt at Turn 4 on the first lap today.  Max Chilton, who had finished every one of his 25 races in F1, lost control and collected his Marussia teammate, Jules Bianchi, sending them both into the wall.  The amount of debris left behind had to be seen to be believed, and a Safety Car was immediately summoned.  It took seven laps for the cleanup to be completed and the race to be resumed.

*DOLDRUMS:  The next 30 laps or so seemed to be a replay of pretty much every other race this season.  The two Mercedes pulled away from the rest of the field, opening up an 18 second lead over third place.  By this point, the F1U! team found itself dozing in its comfy chairs and seriously considering turning off the TV and taking full-fledged naps.  Then the race changed.

*BULLETPROOF, NOT HEATPROOF:  Around Lap 40, Lewis Hamilton called in to the pit wall, reporting a loss of power, losing a full second to leader Nico Rosberg in less than a lap.  Shortly thereafter, Rosberg, too, called into the Mercedes pits, reporting a loss of power.  Both cars carry on, but both are visibly slower and losing a second a lap to the rest of the field.  And then something that hadn't happened all season occurred.

*MASSA?  REALLY?:  On Lap 45, Rosberg pitted for new tires and the bad news that there was nothing the team could do about the power loss.  His teammate took over the lead.  The next lap saw Hamilton pit for tires, and return to the track in second place, just ahead of Rosberg, and just behind the Williams of Felipe Massa.  This was the first lap led by someone other than Rosberg or Hamilton all season.

*TIRED.  RETIRED.:  The first sign there was something terribly wrong with Hamilton's car was in the hairpin on Lap 47.  What should have been a relatively easy slow-down-and-turn became a desperate attempt to drag the car through the right-hander while Nico Rosberg went underneath him for second.  On the long back straight with the aid of DRS, he easily repassed Rosberg, but then completely blew the chicane at the end.  He was forced to give the position back to his teammate, at which point there was visible smoke coming from the right side of the car, which slowed to horse-and-buggy pace.  Upon returning to the pits, the car was retired.  The official reason was brake failure caused by an overheating ERS-K unit... clearly the same problem Rosberg had.  All eyes then turned to the remaining Silver Arrow.

*STILL LEADING:  On Lap 40, Nico Rosberg had a 21 second lead over Force India's Sergio Perez in third.  On Lap 50, the lead to Perez, now in second due to the retirement of Hamilton, was 0.9 seconds.  The next two places, Ricciardo and Vettel, were less than a second behind Perez, and Nico Hulkenberg's Force India was a couple seconds behind them.  While Perez tried to figure out how to get past the Mercedes, the rest of the top six close in behind them, everybody dicing for position, looking for any sign of an opening.

*SHAKING FREE:  This situation lasted for some 15 laps, a masterful piece of driving from Rosberg in a less-than-healthy car.  Sergio Perez then suffered a brake casualty, allowing the Red Bull of Daniel Ricciardo to get past and into second.  It took him less than a lap to then pass Rosberg for the lead, for which Rosberg had no answer.  The Red Bull mechanics went wild.

*THE END: And that's effectively how it ended, with Ricciardo leading Rosberg, ahead of Seb Vettel.  At the start of the final lap, Felipe Massa in 5th tried to get past the wounded Perez in 4th.  The two made contact and both went into the wall outside of Turn 1 at high speed (nearly collecting Vettel in the process).  Immediately the race was Safety Car'd, effectively ending the amazing race that started so... um... less-than-interestingly.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE:  You would expect first-time winner Daniel Ricciardo to win this award today.  You would be wrong.  Nico Rosberg wins this for managing to coax an unhealthy Mercedes home in second place, despite a ERS-K system that wasn't working worth a darn and potentially being over a second per lap slower than his rivals.  All of this while his teammate retired almost immediately with the same problem. 

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Red Bull.  Finally, someone took the fight to Mercedes and made it stick.  We just wish it had been any other team.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE:  It's hard not to be happy for Daniel Ricciardo.


*SELECTED DRIVER COMMENTS OF THE RACE:

more...

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F1 Update!: Monaco 2014

The blue skies over the Cote de Azur belied the chance of rain as the field formed up on Boulevard Albert 1er.  All eyes were on the two silver Mercedes up at the front of the grid; comments had been exchanged between Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg after the debacle that was Qualifying, leading many to believe that there would be serious bumping and grinding at Turn 1.  Did that happen?  Did we actually have a race where some car other than a Mercedes had a chance to win?  THIS is your F1 Update! for the 2014 Grand Prix of Monaco!

*LIGHTS OUT!:  Of course not.  Twenty or thirty years ago, Formula 1 was different and Hamilton could have punted Rosberg into the harbor without much in the way of repercussions.  Now, however?  There was no way Hamilton was going to do anything more than crowd his teammate as much as possible without touching him.  As it turned out, he wasn't even able to do that as Rosberg got off the line very well.  All the Brit could do was fall into trail behind him as they went through Turn 1.  Just as it looked like we were going to have a repeat of... well, every race this season thus far... a Force India was tipped into the Armco barriers in a location on the track with no fast way to get it off.  Berndt Maylander was duly summoned and a Safety Car period begun.  Two laps later, the restart put paid to any hope the rest of the field had.

*BANG ZOOM!:  By the top of the hill, in Casino Square, the two Silver Arrows had opened up a lead of at least a second, if not more, while Red Bull driver 4Time Vettel suddenly slowed.  First his turbo unit appeared to fail, then his RB10 seemed to get stuck in gear.  The team retired him a lap later.  As it turned out, it hardly mattered.  There were two races going on in Monaco: Rosberg vs Hamilton, and everybody else racing for third.

*MOST OF THE RACE:  Hamilton hung on the rear wing of Rosberg's Mercedes like he was attached by a rubber band.  The lead would stretch out a bit, then snap back to under a second, then stretch out a bit... repeat as desired.  Until Lap 25.

*LAST CHANCE:  When Adrian Sutil dropped it coming out of the Tunnel, scattering a vast amount of debris across the Nouvelle Chicane, it was clear a Safety Car was going to have to be summoned.  This gave Hamilton a chance to make a strategic call that could win the race... or not.  If he pitted before the SC came out, he might "pass in the pits", so to speak.  Instead, he didn't, and Mercedes called both drivers in on the same lap once the SC was on the track.  Hamilton immediately went into full-blown whinybaby mode.  "I can't believe you didn't call me in a lap earlier", he radioed to the pits, assuming that they could see the accident coming.  The race was, for all intents and purposes, over at that point.

*MEANWHILE:  Something strange was happening down the field.  The Marussia of Jules Bianchi was sitting in 13th position and looking kinda racy.  Not racy enough to actually pass anybody on merit, it must be noted, but racy.  And then, the Racing Gods grinned.  Jules Vergne suffered exhaust failure.  Valtteri Bottas had an engine failure.  Esteban! clipped the wall and retired with a broken suspension.  Then came the big one: McLaren's Kevin Magnussen lost power.  Jenson Button went past him in the hairpin, but Ferrari's Kimi Raikkonen, in an attempt to follow Button through, overcooked it and pushed both himself and Magnussen into the outside of the turn.  And when Bianchi cruised past the two of them, he was in 8th place.

*THE END:  Hamilton was making movements at Rosberg, who was being forced to conserve fuel.  At any other circuit, this would have meant he'd be passed in no time, but this was Monaco.  Narrow city streets with no grip and identical cars is no way to try and pass someone.  With 12 laps to go, he was all over his young German teammate... and then inexplicably dropped back!  In the space of a lap, he lost nearly four seconds.  The call came over the radio: "I can't see anything out of my left eye.  There's something in it.  It's impossible."  Whatever it was cleared up soon enough, but Hamilton nearly fell into the clutches of Red Bull's Daniel Ricciardo in the process.  Nearly.  In the end, it was another Mercedes 1-2, with a nine-second gap between the two teammates, and less than a half-second separating Hamilton and Ricciardo.  What was even bigger, though, was the gulf that had opened between the two teammates who were long-time friends.  Hamilton didn't congratulate Rosberg, not even a perfunctory handshake or pat on the helmet, as is normal.  On the podium, Hamilton barely acknowledged his teammate.  This has the potential of coming to a bad end.

*MEANWHILE, PT 2:   Bianchi was still in 8th place, but, alas, when he crossed the finish line he was only four seconds ahead of Lettuce Grosjean.  You see, earlier in the race, Bianchi had been given a five-second stop-and-go penalty, which he duly served... under a Safety Car period, a no-no.  So he was given another five-second penalty, which the team decided he would NOT serve, instead having the penalty applied to his final time.  This was done, dropping him down to 9th place.  This was the first time Marussia had earned points in their career.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE: Jules Bianchi.  Seriously.  In a below-average car on a circuit just waiting to rip your wheels off, he managed to legitimately finish 8th.  Sometimes Monaco coughs up a big surprise, and while people generally only notice when it's up at the front of the grid, when it's something like this, F1U! will notice.  Congrats, Jules!

*TEAM OF THE RACE:  Mercedes.  The cracks are beginning to show, though... cracks that could cost them the season sweep they're now aiming for.

*MOMENT OF THE RACE:

It's hard not to be happy for Marussia.  We here at F1U! are managing it, as we expected Caterham to break through first, but it's hard.

*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:

more...

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