Hello, greetings and welcome to the new format of F1 Update!, the venerable (not vulnerable) flagship of The Pond.  In the past, F1U! has evolved from a simple e-mail to a light-hearted romp to a much more formal, almost regimented, review of each race.  Today, we here at F1U! are going to take it away from that style to a more conversational tone.  There are undoubtedly going to be people who won't care for this change, but we're doing it because, to be blunt, it takes too much time to do it the more formal way.  When the race is two hours and the F1U! takes four, there's something wrong, and this new style aims to fix it!  So let's get to updatin'!

*FIRST RACE:  The most exciting part of any F1 season isn't the end, but the beginning.  Nobody has the faintest idea about which teams are good, which need help, who the surprises are going to be, and perhaps most importantly, how the tires are really going to last.  Offseason testing is one thing, practice sessions give you clues, but it isn't until the lights go out, you've got 300 pounds of fuel on board and a Lotus trying to get past you that you know how things are going to work out.  When today's race began under cloudy skies but on a dry track, the front-row Red Bulls started exactly the way we expected them to.  To whit, polesitter Seb Vettel galloped away and began to gap the field, and second-place Mark Webber had one of his patented Lousy Starts^©, dropping from his starting position to seventh in a heartbeat.  It looked very much like a repeat of Australia 2011 was in the offing, but once Vettel got out to a two-second lead, it stopped there and began to shrink.  Behind him, the Ferraris of Felipe Massa and HWMNBN, followed by the Lotus of Kimi Raikkonen, kept in touch and forced him to run hard.

*TIRE WAR:  One of the things you can't be sure of during the offseason is how the tires will last.  Yes, everybody knows the super-softs won't last as long as the mediums, but they'll be faster, yadda yadda.  What's important is exactly how long they'll go, and with the top 10 qualifiers on the super-softs to start the race, it was hardly a theoretical question.  Answers came quickly: Vettel pitted on Lap 7, and everybody in the top 10 had stopped by Lap 12... the two Mercedes, coming in last, were coughing up a full second a lap to the fresher medium-shod cars.  Once everybody stopped, we had a surprising leader: Force India's Adrian F'n Sutil.  He had qualified 12th and thereby got to start on the tires of his choice, the longer-lived mediums.

*WAIT, WHAT?:  It quickly became quite obvious that Sutil wasn't a fluke.  He made his mediums last some 20 laps, long enough that HWMNBN actually made a (strategic) second stop before Sutil made his first.  The race clearly was going to be one of tire maintenance: he who made the fewest stops and could keep pace in worn tires was going to win.  Sutil's Force India clearly was gentle on its tires, but the Lotus of Raikkonen was, too... and was a faster car, to boot.  It was quickly clear that Force India's strategy was to hope for rain, not a bad plan this weekend, all things being equal.  If it came before they had to stop for the mandatory super-soft tires, the team would win their first ever race... and the forecast was changing every minute and from team to team. 

*AW DRAT: Unfortunately, all of Force India's prayers to Indra went unanswered, and Sutil wound up having to stop for super-soft tires.  These proved to be even worse than they had been earlier, giving him two good laps before they went to heck.  He wound up falling all the way to 7th, and only a questionable team call kept his teammate, Paul di Resta, from passing him.

*UP FRONT: While every eye was turned to the excitement of Sutil's story, Kimi Raikkonen's tire care had put him firmly in front, leading HWMNBN and Vettel.  In fact, once the Finn drove past Sutil for the lead, it was clear that the win was going to be his, and that's the way it worked out.  In fact, it wasn't even close: Kimi finished 12 seconds ahead of HWMNBN, who was 10 seconds clear of Vettel, who was 11 seconds up on Felipe Massa.

*WHAT DID WE LEARN?:  Having good pace in practice and qualifying means nothing when it comes to the long distances of the race.  Being easy on your tires is better than one-lap pace.  And that McLaren is in serious, serious trouble: they finished 9th and 11th, and never once looked good.  There's even rumors of them switching back to last year's chassis.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE: Adrian F'n Sutil.  His first race back after being out of the sport in 2012 turned out to be pretty decent.  If a rain shower had come by around lap 35, the race would have been his... and the sky looked like it could have happened at any minute.

*TEAM OF THE RACE: Ferrari.  HWMNBN's second place is hardly a surprise.  Felipe Massa's fourth-place finish at a track he hates probably has to be counted as a surprise.  They've got a nice jump on the constructor's championship already.

*MOVE OF THE RACE:  On Lap 32, Ferrari's HWMNBN was going to pass the Mercedes of Shiv Hamilton.  It wasn't a question of "if", but when and that's all there was to it.  Didn't mean that Shiv was going to make it easy for the Spaniard, however.  When the Ferrari made its move, Hamilton held off on braking for as long as possible... and maybe a little longer.  When he did finally step on the clampers, he immediately locked up his front-left tire and had zero ability to steer.

HWMNBN, who was past the Merc driver and just about to begin the turn, saw what was going on next to him (though with a smoke trail that long, it'd be hard to miss) and decided that he didn't need to turn right then... it could wait.  While this let Hamilton keep the place for a few more seconds, it did keep the Merc out of the Ferrari sidepods.  For that quick reaction, HWMNBN gets the Move of the Race.

*MOOOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE:  A remarkably clean race today, with really only one bit of poor driving.  On Lap 25, Papabile Maldonado was heading down to Turn 1 and did what hundreds of drivers had done before him: he moved as far outside as possible to get the best angle into the turn.  And then the Williams driver went a few inches too far, his left side tires leaving the pavement and hitting the grass.  The result was preordained.

He was out of the race on the spot, the only car to be eliminated via a method other than technical fault.  Here ya go, Maldonado: have a Moooooo-ooove!

*SELECTED DRIVERS QUOTES OF THE RACE:


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After yesterday's soggy session, it looks like we've finally got a grid for Sunday's Grand Prix of Australia!  Let's take a look, shall we?

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When the time came to start Q1 for the Australian Grand Prix... they postponed it for a half-hour due to wind, rain and general miserableness.  From what the New Legendary Announce Team said, just after the V8S support race ended, the skies opened up with a fury not often seen in these here parts.  Rain came down in buckets, the wind tore branches from trees and umbrellas from hands, and very quickly the track became undrivable.  It took frantic action from the track marshals, the broom brigade, some random birds, and a brief cessation of rain for the session to start at all. 

Once the 20 minute Q1 did begin, some began to wonder if it should have, as it took only a single lap for cars to begin leaving chunks of themselves scattered around the circuit.  Lewis Hamilton, Felipe Massa, both Caterhams, Mark Webber, Sergio Perez, Esteban Gutierrez, Paul di Resta, and Papabile Maldonado all had exciting rides.  Webber, Perez, di Resta and Maldonado DIDN'T damage visibly their cars, though only through luck.  Eventually the session came to an end, with the following being knocked out: Charles ToothPic, Geido van der Garde, Max Chilton, Jules Bianchi, Esteban Gutierrez, Papabile Maldonado.  ToothPic is 22nd, Maldonado 17th.

Unfortunately, in the stretch between Q1 and Q2, the heavens opened up again.  Scheduled to begin at 6pm local time, Q2 wound up being delayed by 10 minute intervals to 650pm.  At that point, with heavy rain still falling, the radar screen a lurid shade of green for 500 miles, the sun setting at 738pm local and two Qual sessions left to run that would equal 25 minutes on their own, the decision was made to postpone until 11am Sunday morning local (Saturday night, 7pm Pond Central Time).  At that point, the action will resume with Q2.  Alas, we won't be getting coverage of it here on NBCSN, but I'll report the results when they become available.

On a historical note, this is only the third time Quals has been postponed in 10 years... and the other two occurred in Japan due to various typhoons.  No Great Australian Boat Races, though.  Pity, that.

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"A bat that apparently had trouble flying instead tried to hitch a ride on the space shuttle Discovery, NASA officials said.  The animal was last seen clinging to the foam of the external tank of the space shuttle moments before the Discovery launched, officials said.  NASA had hoped that the bat would fly away on its own, but admitted the bat probably died quickly during Discovery's climb to orbit."

May we all be as brave when we are afraid as Space Bat.  Now he belongs to the stars.

To Space Bat!

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A vaguely gray day greeted the sparse crowd at Melbourne's Albert Park circuit, but nobody cared.  Nobody cared because the red light of the offseason had been replaced by a green light, a light that signified that the 2013 Formula 1 season had finally begun.

Then every car in the pitlane came out, ran for the entire length of P1 and P2, and left us as fans exhausted and wanting more.  That was the theory.  In practice, Practice 1 was roughly half over before we saw our first flying lap.  The first 45 minutes saw the teams bring their cars out for an installation lap, making sure that every bolt was tight, every hose connected, every fluid topped off and so forth, then bringing them back in to check everything all over again.  Then, and only then, did anybody even think about going back out for head-to-head white knuckled racing action.  Or another install lap, take your pick.  Seriously.  I mean, I expected it; they DID just ship their cars halfway around the world AND this is the first race of the season, of course they're gonna work to make everything exactly right.  But still, the people in the stands weren't even getting red-hot pitstop action.  What they got was a lot of nothing.  AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!

Once the session really began, and all the way through Practice 2, it became perfectly clear that while some things had changed, like McLaren seeming dreadfully slow, some things hadn't: Red Bull and Seb Vettel remained on top of the timesheets.  In dominating fashion, it might be pointed out, nearly a half-second ahead of their nearest rival in P2, Nico Rosberg.

Even that little bit of news had a dark lining, as Mercedes' newest driver, Lewis Hamilton, speared into the barriers with five minutes to go in P2, reporting that "something's wrong with the car."  Right after that, the Mercedes pit wall told Rosberg that he had a gearbox problem and he needed to pull over and shut it down.  That's somewhat ominous, what when both Mercs fail to finish the session like that...

Even more ominous could be the performance of the two McLarens.  Jenson Button could only manage 11th on the day, and Sergio Perez a humbling 13th.  Handling seemed to be an issue for the glares with wheels, as they tended to porpoise and tremble into corners.  Steve Matchett was suggesting that the suspension was too stiff, and he may very well be right... or maybe it's something not so easily fixed?  

The boys at Maranello must be ecstatic with Ferrari's 6th and 8th finishes, particularly considering last year's debacle in Australia when they were closer to the back of the grid than the front.   If so, Team Lotus are probably calling their doctors after four hours, for they finished P2 4th and 5th. 

But of course, this is only practice.  You can never judge the true worth of a car from practice, just because every team is operating differently.  For all we know, McLaren could have been running under a heavy fuel load all day, and once the weight burns off they'll handle better.  Red Bull could have been running minimum fuel (note: they weren't).  Maybe Mercedes accidentally used French Onion instead of Ranch in their gearbox.  We just don't know.

Except... we kinda do, don't we?   We'll find out for sure Saturday at Quals!  See ya then!

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I note that the Roman Catholic Church elected a new Pope today.  Former Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio has now become Pope Francis, the first of his name.  I've always been somewhat in awe of the position Cardinal Bergoglio now holds; whether one is a follower of his faith, some other, or none whatsoever, the Pope is the head of an organization that counts some 1.3 billion followers.  That little fact deserves some respect, right there.  But his elevation to Pontifex Maximus allows me the chance to roll out my all-time favorite joke, which is, alas, limited in times that it can be told and still be funny.

But first, some background.  It is a winter's morning in 1992.  The sky is blue and clear, with a sort of vividness that only occurs when it is bone-achingly cold... which it is.  There's maybe a foot of fresh white snow on the ground, everywhere but streets, parking lots and sidewalks.  None of the many people visible seem to notice the cold, however.  That's because this is Minnesota, and the residents are used to it being below zero.  Well, that, and everybody has on big hulking parkas that'd keep the wearer warm on the surface of Pluto.

Amongst these huddled masses, enter Wonderduck and his fellow grad student in lighting design, Mike.  Mike and Wonderduck get along pretty well; they're both from Illinois, outsiders to these here Northerners.  Further, they're currently the only theatre tech grad students and have the same grad advisor.  To say they spend a lot of time together would be something of an understatement: they have the same classes, work on each others productions (example: Mike is a show's lighting designer, Wonderduck would be his master electrician, and vice-versa), help teach the same classes, and so on.  The main difference between them is that Mike is pushing 40, while Wonderduck is in his low 20s.  Both have an interest in history, however, that often left the other grad students bored and confused. 

On this frigid morning, Wonderduck and Mike are walking from their reserved parking spots towards the theatre building, about a three-block stroll.  Normally not a problem, on mornings like this it could be considered something of a trial for us Illinoisans and our thin "southern" blood.  As we make our way towards the warmth of the tallest building in the city, we turn a corner that reveals the northern edge of the campus.  The theatre building is there, and just to the west, across a wide expanse of courtyard (that I was known to fly kites from, even in January, but I digress), the Freshman Dorm building. 

As anybody who's experienced bitterly cold days like this one will attest, things like vehicles and buildings appear to smoke a lot when it's frigid, and this day was no exception.  Small cars would go by, leaving clouds of exhaust to rival any jumbo jet contrail.  Buildings seemed to have their own external microclimate, wreathed as they are in clouds of steam condensate.  For whatever reason, however, on this day the Freshman Dorm was pumping out enough of this stuff to make any nuclear power plant cooling tower feel inadequate, and it was all a pure, pristine white.

At this point, Mike turned to Wonderduck and said "wow, look at that."  Wonderduck, suitably impressed, nodded and said to Mike "Yeah.  You know what that means, right?"

A beat passed before Mike replied with excellent comic timing: "The freshmen have elected a Pope?"

Exunt two grad students, laughing uproariously.

And now you know why my favorite joke is only funny at very limited and specific times. 

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1
I've seen it here at least once before, in an F1 post.  Quality humor.

Posted by: Mikeski at March 14, 2013 10:19 PM (DU6Ja)

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F1 is back.

Everything is right with the world.

As is tradition, the new season is opening in the Land Down Under.  Beautiful Albert Park, Melbourne, will host the Australian Grand Prix for the 18th consecutive year, and to say that this should be a revealing race would be something of an understatement.  But first, let's take a look at the track map:

It's the same old circuit that it's been for as long as I've been watching F1, and that's a really good thing.  What we have here is probably the most balanced of tracks on the calendar, in that there's no "technical" section.  See, I just cringe when I see "technical" or "stadium" used as a descriptor for a part of a race circuit.  It's just a nice way of saying "slow and pointless".  For example, please look at the track map for Interlagos in Brazil.  Can YOU guess what the "technical" section is?  If you said "from Turn 7 to Turn 11," you're right!  It's just there to slow the track down as the cars go up and down and up and down.  Awful.

And Australia doesn't have any of that.  Oh, to be sure, you slow down, but it's never for more than a corner, maybe two tops, before you're back to racing.  It's organic.  It flows.  It's a challenging layout, but not so challenging to be a bad way to start a season... imagine if Monaco was the first race of the year!  HRT would have won every season simply because they couldn't go fast enough to hurt themselves if they bumped into the walls... but I digress.  On the whole, drivers uniformly love the track.  The single most unique part of the track is that it's very much a street circuit at heart.  Almost the entire map can be driven by the public year-round; Albert Park is a working public park, after all.  There's even one bit that cuts through a parking lot!  As the tarmac is really road, that means there's all sorts of oil, transmission fluid, radiator drippings and crud that falls out of working engines over daily use embedded in the asphalt.  Throw in the lines painted to signal lanes and the like and you've got what can be a very slippery surface, particularly if it rains... and guess what's in the forecast for Quals and Race Day?  Well, at least a chance of the wet stuff.  Personally, I don't want it to rain... I want to see these cars out on a dry track so we can get an idea of what's what!  Don't get me wrong, rain is fun!  Let's have it in Malaysia, next weekend.

But before we talk about the second race of the year, we need to see the first.  This year, for the first time in my adult life as a F1 fan, the races will not be covered by SPEED.  In fact, in a few months, SPEED itself will go away, turned into FOXSports1.  Y'know the saying "Meth: Not Even Once"?  Fox's version of the aphorism appears to be "SPEED: Not Anymore."  I've gone astray again.  NBCSN, new channel, new coverage... mostly the same old Legendary Announce Team!  Steve Matchett and David Hobbs, the mechanic and the driver, make the move over.  Leigh Diffey takes over for The Varsha, a role he's used to as he did the same at SPEED whenever Bob was doing car auction coverage.  And, if you trust the tweets, The Varsha may be rejoining the Legendary Announce Team later in the season.  Will Buxton's Exuberance  remains the pit lane guy.  But when do we get to experience this new group?  Let's take a look:

THURSDAY:
11pm - 1230am  Practice 1 (delay) on NBCSN
FRIDAY:
1230am - 2am  Practice 2 (live) on NBCSN
SATURDAY:
1am - 230am  Quals (live) on NBCSN
SUNDAY:
1230am - 3am  Grand Prix of Australia (live) on NBCSN
3am - 330am  F1 Extra, whatever that is, on NBCSN.

That's right, we get Practice 1 on television now!  P3 is probably streaming, but I can't confirm that. 

Before we go, I think it'll behoove us to take a look at the driver lineup for 2013... the last time we talked about it, not every seat had been filled, after all.  Here we go:

Red Bull: Seb Vettel, Mark Webber.  Really, why mess with a good thing?
Ferrari: HWMNBN, Felipe Massa.  If he beats Vettel for the championship, even I'll put in a good word for The Evil One.  If Massa beats Vettel for the championship, I can only assume the world is about to come to an end.
McLaren: Jenson Button, Sergio Perez.  So weird to see this team without Shiv Hamilton.
Lotus: Kimi Raikkonen, Lettuce Grosjean.  Kimi knows what he's doing.  The same may not be able to be claimed for Lettuce.
Mercedes: Nico Rosberg, Shiv Hamilton.  We've seen the last of Hamilton on the top step for a while.
Sauber: Nico Hulkenberg, Esteban Gutierrez.  With Gutierrez and Perez, we have two Mexican drivers in F1.  No Americans, though.
Force India: Paul di Resta, Adrian F'n Sutil.  Sutil's back!
Williams: Papabile Maldonado, Vallteri Bottas.  Bottas has no lips.
Toro Rosso: Jules Vergne, Daniel Ricciardo.  One is French, the other bland. 
Caterham:  Charles ToothPic, Geido van der Garde.  I'm gonna have to come up with a nickname for Geido in a hurry.
Marussia: Jules Bianchi, Max Chilton.  Sponsorship!

Here we go, folks. We're just a few days away now...

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Hey everybody, I've got great news!

The Dacia Sandero will not be appearing in this post!  Oh, and I'm feeling better already!  As you may remember from that long ago post from... yesterday, I think it was, I had been diagnosed with bronchitis, suffered a damaged muscle in my side, and was generally feeling just rather medically unhappy.  To solve the bronchitis, the doctor gave me azithromycin, an antibiotic that costs $15.52 per pill, which fact blew my tiny little mind and made me so very glad I have a full-time job with pretty decent health-care benefits.  To take care of the muscle-thingy, he... well, he didn't really do anything.  Not much he could do, to be honest, except say "find a position that makes it hurt less when you cough."  I've done so, and I'm awfully glad my job tends to keep me in the back room.  Makes it ever so much easier to what, did you really think there'd be something naughty here? and then you didn't learn the last time?.  That's just embarrassing to do every time I cough.

But to deal with the unhappiness, he gave me Cheratussin AC.  This is a foul tasting syrup that supports a dose of an effective expectorant... and codeine.  Truthfully, it's not doing all that much other than making me cough, which hurts, but the codeine is making it not hurt so much.  It balances out.  The bad part of all of these wonderdrugs is that, well, I came home from work, had something to eat, then immediately crawled into bed and stayed there until just now... meaning I didn't do the first official post of the new F1 season tonight.  I'll do it tomorrow, I promise.

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1 Heating pad is good for the strained chest muscle. Also that Vicks Vaporub. I suggest the Vaporub on your neck, not your chest, because overheated menthol isn't pleasant.

Also, chai tea with lots of spice and milk, and turmeric like the grannies in India would insist upon. This will distract you. (Obviously the optional germfighting shot of whisky doesn't mix with codeine.)

Some herbal teas include chamomile, valerian, linden, etc. to help you sleep, and they do work, but probably also don't mix with codeine. (Especially valerian, which tastes horrible and puts you out like a light.) If you're not allergic to valerian, linden, etc., this is good stuff. If you're allergic to pollens in the rose family, though, you're probably not going to like linden much.

Posted by: Suburbanbanshee at March 11, 2013 10:43 PM (cvXSV)

2 OT: F1 Loses! 

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at March 13, 2013 11:50 AM (+rSRq)

3 Sure, sure.  It's the widest, the lightest and the stickiest.  The only question is why anybody thought it'd do any better?

Posted by: Wonderduck at March 13, 2013 04:21 PM (1BL+a)

4 That tire-jumping video. On the one hand: Oh, JAPAN. Sigh. On the other hand... I can't believe how much I laughed at a bunch of tires being rolled down a ramp.

Maybe that's the sleep deprivation, though.

Posted by: GreyDuck at March 13, 2013 10:13 PM (xbP2x)

5 Greyduck, I laughed waaaay too hard at the last one.  Trying to get over a cold and it sent me into a coughing fit.  It was worth seeing once though.

Posted by: Tom Tjarks at March 13, 2013 10:27 PM (k3SCe)

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So, remember that cold I had?  For the most part, the symptoms have gone completely away, except for one: the cough.  The cough has stuck around like the last guest at a party, the one who just won't take the hint to get out.  Still, it hasn't been a bad thing... it sounded bad, but really didn't hurt or anything like that.  But then, last night, just as I was getting ready to go to sleep, I had one big cough...

...and it felt like most of the contents of those trays were jammed a spot just below my ribs on the left side.  From the amount of pain involved, I thought I had just broken a rib.  After a couple of minutes, I realized I hadn't, because I could breathe without pain.  I went to the Immediate Care place nearby this afternoon.  X-rays were taken, and the new diagnosis came down: I have bronchitis and perhaps a muscle tear.  It only hurts when I cough.  Or twist.

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It's been a while since I've coughed up an AMV post, mostly because I've sorta dropped out of the AMV scene.  However, earlier today I stumbled across a post over at Ben's place that reminded me of how fun they can be... and how good they can be when they're done right.  The "Forever" video sent me browsing for others. 

First I stumbled across Nostromo's Running Man.

For a long while, I believed that Nostromo was the greatest technical video editor AMVs would ever see.  That doesn't mean he makes the best videos, just the most impressive as accomplishments, if that makes sense.  I mean, Thrust SSC is a great technical success, but you're not gonna go to the grocery store in it. 

From there, I wound up with this on my screen:

Ileia might be the best editor at "internal sync" you'll find.  EVERYthing is to the beat, even if it's not obvious.  Her work feels more "right" than Nostromo's, more fun.  From there, though, I discovered that she had done a zombie version of the greatest AMV of all time, which lead me back to track down that very classic:

That was made in 2002.  If someone asked me what the point of AMVs were, I'd show 'em Odorikuruu.  It's 100% distilled fun in a four-minute viddy.

But then I found an AMV that literally made me cry weep manly tears.

I've made an AMV.  I know it was pretty decent, particularly for a first try.  I also know that, no matter how hard I try, I could never come up with something as good as this.  It's very subtle, but there's something surprisingly awesome to this one.  I can't put my finger on it, but it's there.

Which is why I put this post together tonight... because I wanted to share that awesomeness.

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Keeping up the routine.  Keeping up the routine.  That's what it's all about with my writeups for Vividred Operation.  It's not a bad show at all, it just hasn't caught me the way the other three completed writeup series (Ga-Rei Zero, Rio Rainbow Gate!, High School of the Dead) did.  No, I'm not going to drop it... I'm too far into it to do that.  Besides, it's not like I have anything else to write about right now.  So what the heck, let's take a look at what's going on after the debacle that was Ep06.

It seems like the RHF was out late, defeating another Alone.  How lame must this one have been to not even get any screen-time?  Are there nerdy Alones?  Was this Alone the equivalent of having a bowl cut, coke-bottle glasses and a pocket protector?  Was it picked on by the other Alones, shoved into lockers, tripped in the hallway, that sort of thing?  Finally, it had enough and decided that it'd show all those bullies and took its shot at doing something none of the others could manage: destroying the Phlebotinum Engine!  Then maybe the cute Alone cheerleaders would pay attention to him!  Hope you feel proud, RHF and the rest of Team Aquos.  I hope you're really happy as you drool onto your breakfast.  That Alone was just trying to be loved... is that too much to ask for?  And you guys were just like all the rest, you slapped a "Kick Me" sign on its back, took its lunch money and then disposed of it.  Buncha bullies, that's what you are!  Meanwhile, as "Our Hero" sleeps through breakfast...

...Hot Dark Girl Rei and her kickarse scarf lament their failure to destroy the world.  Again.  Worse, it took another of her powerups, leaving her with six.  More importantly, she's running out of episodes to accomplish her task.  If she ever shows up with a rubber duck, I'm going to just go out of my mind... in a good way, not a creepy way.

Well, maybe it'd be a little bit creepy.  I wouldn't be proud of it, though.

more...

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90 minutes of work on the Vividred Operation Ep07 writeup, right down the old bitbucket.  All because I couldn't remember the name of a yo-yo trick.

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Duck U is closed today due to inclement weather.  To whit: lotsa snow!

It's a snow day!

UPDATE: As of 9pm, we're looking at 9.6" of snow on the ground here at Pond Central.  Far and away our heaviest snowfall of the winter.  In March.  When it's supposed to be over and done with.  *sigh*  I tell ya, Nature.

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For anybody interested, NBC Sports Network will be showing their F1 preview show this coming Thursday at 8pm Central.  Oh, and one week from today?  F1 on SPEED NBCSN for Australia.  It's back, my friends.

It.

Is.

BACK.

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Here ya go, the first Mystery Ship of 2013:

Take your best shot!  Remember, no cheating... winner gets a post of their very own (no pr0n, religion or politics, though).  One guess per customer.  Post no bills.  Winners warm up with Malt-o-Meal.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 09:51 AM | Comments (26) | Add Comment
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IS IT???

It is?  Oh.  Well.  Cool then.  Carry on.  I'll be over in the corner, wondering where my lungs went.

Update: Found 'em!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 08:59 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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As you know, I spent last week in Chicago in a manager training meeting.  Forty of us, trapped in a room all day for five days... and two of the other managers were sick.  It's as much an occupational hazard for us as papercuts, ulcers and murder charges, but it's been a few years since I had a long-term ick.  Oh, I had that stomach flu / food poisoning thing a couple of Januarys back, but that only lasted a couple of days (thankfully).  Other than that?  I've been pretty good.

I came home from the meetings on Saturday.  That night, I had a little tickle in the back of my throat, but I figured that was because of the square of chipotle chili dark chocolate I had just eaten.  Sunday, the tickle became something more than a tickle, and I'm sure you can see where this is going.  By Tuesday night, I felt pretty darn bad, coughing, sneezing, headache, sore throat... but I just felt awful.  I went to work on Wednesday morning, but I immediately knew it was a mistake.  I gave up at 10am, and headed right to the doctor's office.  I was expecting a diagnosis of something like the Black Death, or Ebola, or porphyric hemophilia or something like that... I mean, I felt so miserable, it had to be something terrible.

I've got a cold.

I'm a wimp.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:24 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Okay, right, here we are, only a week late.  Not so bad, really... at least I'm still keeping up with the show.  Sure, it's not the perfect situation, which would involve the writeup being completed using only the mental power of my massive, pulsating brain, but it's close.  Oh, and codfish.  There would be some nice beer-battered cod with a tasty tartar sauce involved in a perfect situtation, too.  On Friday, after the business trip was officially over but while I was still in Chicago, I had dinner at The Cheesecake Factory with three managers who had their flights cancelled, and I can recommend their fish 'n' chips.  Which is not to be confused with fission chips, which tend to go bang when you dip them in tartar sauce.  They don't mention that in nuclear physics class.  Speaking of not mentioning things in Physics class...

...have these glasses from Gurren Lagann become an anime meme, or what?  After seeing the Red Headed Freak out the door as she heads to summer camp, lil' sister Momo and Gendo Plushyferret chat for a second about "beginning the operation," and out come the glasses.  What's really annoying is that I hated Gurren Lagann, yet it's hailed as a masterpiece of the mecha genre, if not anime as a whole.  I just don't get it.  Oh well, so it goes.

But that's a discussion for another day.  For now, there is Vividred Operation.  Which, I hasten to point out, is not considered a masterpiece of any genre.  Unless the genre is "butt shots of middleschoolers," in which case it's groundbreaking.  And deeply, deeply troubling.  You'll note, of course, that I'm still working on it, so maybe not so troubling as all that.

more...

Posted by: Wonderduck at 11:21 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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While we wait for me to complete the writeup for Vividred Operation Ep06 (PROTIP: business trips are not a good time to work on such things), I want to talk about a single scene from a movie that falls firmly into the "meh" category for me.  The movie in question came out in 2011, and was titled Sucker Punch.  On the whole, there's very little about the movie to like except for some of the visuals; much like the original Hellsing anime, it's great to look at but not so good to watch.  One scene, however, makes it clear that Director Zack Snyder has watched a lot of anime.

If anybody out there is thinking about doing a live-action fighting anime, Snyder has shown you how to do the fight scenes right.  Watch it in 720p; it's worth it.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:44 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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On the final lap of today's NASCAR Nationwide series race at the Daytona Superspeedway, there was a terrible wreck.  Kyle Larson, in the middle of the pack coming out of Turn 4 and heading for the tri-oval/start-finish line, got tipped sideways and as often happens at any superspeedway race, The Big One happened.  There were cars going every which way, but Larson went nose-first into the wall, snapped over, and got airborne.  HIGH.

The entire front of his car, back to the firewall, was torn off as he pinwheeled over the SAFER barrier and into the catch fence.  The catch fence did its job: it kept the #32 out of the stands.  Mostly.

You may notice the man with the orange hat.  Directly above him in that picture is the engine of the #32; the fire you might notice is from fluids draining from it.  Unfortunately, that's not the only thing that got through the fence, and what got through was worse than an engine.

At least one 120lb tire/wheel/brake rotor combinaton made it into the stands, working its way through the spectators until it came to a halt some 15-20 rows up.  Around thirty people are known to have been injured.  15 were taken to the track's medical facility for minor cuts and bruises and were released.  Conflicting reports say 14 to 16 were taken to two hospitals near the track.  At least one was reported to have a serious head injury and was in emergency surgery.  Having said that, NASCAR officials just had a press conference, and they said that everybody at the hospitals were in "stable" condition, so take that emergency surgery report with a grain of salt. 

Racers know that what they do is dangerous.  They understand that every time they climb into their car, be it NASCAR, F1, IndyCar, dragsters, LeMans or motorcycles, they could be injured or killed.  But no fan expects to see a tire flying at their face, and it's troubling every time a fan is hurt.

With luck, everybody injured will be okay.  Ironically, the drivers involved are all just fine.  As of right now, Sunday's Daytona 500 will go on as planned, with Danica Patrick on pole.

Let's hope.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 06:59 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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