Man, you hear somebody say "So there I was..." and you know a good story is inbound. So there I was, early Wednesday morning, all ready to go back to work. And by ready, I actually mean "resigned to my fate", but what do you expect after four days away? Yes, four, I did have to go in for five hours on Black Friday. Still, four days plus some, means yeah, I really didn't want to go back to work. But like any good adult, I gathered myself together and began to make my way to the Duckmobile. As I did, I looked upon the fresh fields of snow covering the parking lot and an overwhelming urge took hold of me! An urge... to snow angel the *hell* out of the lot!
Not quite the "snow angel" I meant.
Ignoring the stares of the neighbor or two nearby, I promptly began angeling like a little kid. After a minute or two I realized something interesting... I was actually comfortable! Like lying on a really soft bed, lying on the snow in Pond Central's parking lot was... well, it was a little cold, but yeah, I was comfy! Reveling in this strange and wonderous feeling, I just continued to lie there. I could almost doze off, I was so comfy... or hypothermia was setting in, one of the two. Anyway, it was really nice until the snowplow came.
How could I have anticipated that showing up? There aren't any rails in the parking lot!
I immediately found myself thrown high into the air, landing in a snowdrift and rapidly covered with more snow from the plow. Some time later, I managed to half-dig, half-drag myself to the surface where I discovered I'd been surrounded by a bunch of Greenpeace-like people, all yelling about protecting the rare and endangered Snow Manatee. A loud cheer was raised when they spied me struggling to gain my feet, and then they began to pelt me with more snow.
When I asked them to stop doing that, they replied that the rare and endangered Snow Manatee needed to be kept covered with snow, lest they dry up and shrivel away. I pointed out to them that I'm not a Snow Manatee, I'm just a guy trying to get to work, they laughed and pointed out that the rare and endangered Snow Manatee was known to have a great sense of humor. "What a kidder, Snow Manatees don't have jobs!"
On Thanksgiving, I noticed that the forecast for Saturday night called for a little bit of snow, maybe as much as three inches. By Friday, the snow had moved to Sunday afternoon/evening until Monday morning, and maybe six inches in the worst case. "Cool," I said. "I've got Monday and Tuesday off anyway!"
What we expected. We were fools.
By late Friday night/Saturday morning, winter weather advisories had changed to winter storm warnings, and then to blizzard warnings. Four to eight inches were likely in Duckford, but heavier to the south. The very worst of it was going to be in a narrow band that'd surely miss us. Indeed, the storm coming was so narrow that people 20 miles north of the city were not expecting any snow at all, or a dusting. They were right, that's all they got. That's all they got.
What actually happened. All of these idols are now dead, buried by snowfall.
By 4pm Sunday afternoon, there was already a couple of inches on the Duckmobile, but it looked like it was only flurrying anymore. Piece of cake! Then the sun went down and I was unable to see what happened next... Duckford experienced snowfall rates of up to two inches/hour for a while overnight, and it never actually stopped snowing until about 6am Monday. The official snowfall amount at Duckford International Airport was 11.7"... and that measurement was taken only a couple of miles to the west of Pond Central. I assume the narrow bands sorta moved a bit to the north. Oopsie!
I am fortunate. One of my neighbors decided to take it upon himself to shovel the sidewalks clean and start removing snow from cars. He had my car pretty much cleared off before I even woke up today. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do about the parking lot, which hadn't been visited by the Snowplow Fairy yet, and wouldn't be until about 2pm.
All this caught Duckford by surprise. It was much heavier than expected by anyone. Anyone, that is, except for the National Weather Service, at least two different TV stations in town, and the newspaper. I'm still not exactly sure the tertiary... quadiary?... road Pond Central is on has been plowed yet... or even if it will be at all. But then, what do you expect when this was the heaviest snowfall ever recorded for the month of November in Duckford? And not just by a little bit: the record was just over six inches on a day in 1996. We nearly doubled that.
All the schools in the area were closed today. Many businesses never opened... it looked like almost everybody who lives in Pond Central's building did not go to work today... and I have no idea if the mail was delivered or not. And now it's snot-freezingly cold and windy outside.
Even though it rained a few days ago, it's pretty safe to say that the weather in Abu Dhabi was hot and dry... though humid and cooling off because of a fairly strong breeze. Still, pretty decent for today's session. Here's the provisional grid for the 2018 Grand Prix of Abu Dhabi:
Pos
Driver
Car
Q1
Q2
Q3
1
LewisHamilton
Mercedes
1:36.828
1:35.693
1:34.794
2
ValtteriBottas
Mercedes
1:36.789
1:36.392
1:34.956
3
SebastianVettel
Ferrari
1:36.775
1:36.345
1:35.125
4
KimiRäikkönen
Ferrari
1:37.010
1:36.735
1:35.365
5
DanielRicciardo
Red Bull Racing
1:37.117
1:36.964
1:35.401
6
MaxVerstappen
Red Bull Racing
1:37.195
1:36.144
1:35.589
7
RomainGrosjean
Haas Ferrari
1:37.575
1:36.732
1:36.192
8
CharlesLeclerc
Sauber Ferrari
1:37.124
1:36.580
1:36.237
9
EstebanOcon
Force India Mercedes
1:36.936
1:36.814
1:36.540
10
NicoHulkenberg
Renault
1:37.569
1:36.630
1:36.542
11
CarlosSainz
Renault
1:37.757
1:36.982
12
MarcusEricsson
Sauber Ferrari
1:37.619
1:37.132
13
KevinMagnussen
Haas Ferrari
1:37.934
1:37.309
14
SergioPerez
Force India Mercedes
1:37.255
1:37.541
15
FernandoAlonso
McLaren Renault
1:37.890
1:37.743
16
BrendonHartley
Toro Rosso
1:37.994
17
PierreGasly
Toro Rosso
1:38.166
18
StoffelVandoorne
McLaren Renault
1:38.577
19
SergeySirotkin
Williams Mercedes
1:38.635
20
LanceStroll
Williams Mercedes
1:38.682
This is the first time in F1 history that a team has had five consecutive front-row lockouts at a track. Yeah, Mercedes likes Yas Marina. This is also Hamilton's 11th pole of the season. 11 out of 21 races... we're really watching one of the all-time greats, you know that? Sure, the car helps, but Lewis Hamilton seriously has a chance to be the best in F1 history. Now we just need to see if his engine holds up. Apparently his power unit was riding the ragged edge of annihilation for much of the race in Brazil, and it definitely suffered some damage. How much? The team isn't sure themselves. Either it'll hold together, or it will go kablammo and be Hamilton's first engine failure all year.
It seems very unlikely, but Haas still has a chance to finish fourth in the Constructor's Championship. They just need to score 24 points more than Renault. Remember, the points system is 25/18/15/12/10/8/6/4/2/1. It's hard to imagine a realistic scenario where Haas scores 24 points, period, let alone outscore Renault by that much. But I guess it's not impossible.
1
Mercedes always has some story about how the car was about to blow up whenever Hamilton isn't dominant. I'm skeptical.
Of course, Ferrari also had a story about Seb supposedly having some sensor issue in the last race, which is why he stunk on ice. Or in his words, "My race was a one out of ten. Where one is bad." (You need to imagine the German accent to get the full impact.) So maybe what Jeremy Clarkson calls "racing driver excuses" is just a thing.
Posted by: Mrs. Will (Kathryn) at November 24, 2018 09:44 PM (rWZ8Y)
F1 on TV: Abu Dhabi 2018
And so we come to the end. The last race of the season is upon us, and with it the ending of a legendary career. But first, here's the track map of the Yas Marina circuit in Abu Dhabi:
No real changes to the layout, but one big change to the curbs. In the past, Turn 20 has been infamous for the track limits being ignored. It was common... normal... to see cars running so wide that they were practically only on the curbs, not on the asphalt. This year, a new "sausage" curb has been installed, and mark my words, someone is going to badly damage their car on it either in quals or during the race. It's high enough that a car will grind away most of its floor if it spends much time on it. Indeed, DH Verstappen did exactly that in Practice 2 today, though the extend of the damage is unknown to me.
Sadly, this is the final F1 race weekend for Fernando Alonso, who is moving on to do... other racing things that aren't F1. It's not because of the way McLaren has blown chunks the past few years and thus deprived him of any chance at all of another championship... or even of one more win... just ask him! However, that can't be 100% true. He's still a top-level driver, after all... anybody doubt that if he was in a Ferrari or Mercedes he'd be a championship contender? I've gotta admit, he's rehabilitated himself in my eyes. This is the man that for years was nicknamed HWMNBN for his $100 million backstab of McLaren a decade ago. And yet, he's escaped that moniker.
Also, just officially announced on Thursday, Williams is bringing Robert Kubica back as a driver in 2019. It's a great story for Formula 1. Great young star terribly injured in a crash, works his way back to the top level of racing despite his right arm having had nearly 14000 surgeries (I exaggerate). I'm on record stating that I think he's an idiot, and he was over four seconds slower than the fastest car today in Practice 1... allegedly they were doing setup work... and from watching the in-car cameras his right hand appears to be useless. He's doing all the shifting, both up and down, and all the adjustments on the steering wheel, with his left hand. His right hand is just keeping the wheel straight while he does all that.
Anyway, yeah, I mean, I hope it works out for Williams and Kubica, I really do... even if I don't think he deserves to be back in the seat, it's still a fantastic human interest story. Who knows, perhaps he'll surprise us all.
1
Considering how his year has gone re: car quality; I've been surprised how restrained Alonso has been. My memory is that he was a bit more vocal about the deficiencies of the car last year.
Posted by: Ben at November 24, 2018 02:19 PM (4TRZx)
Of Turkey And Overtime
Remember that six-day weekend I mentioned a while ago? Well, throw a half-day of work in there on Friday. See, the Powers That Be, in all their wisdom and glory, decided that we needed to work eight hours of OT this week. "Well hey," I hear you say, and that's impressive because I'm listening to some electroswing at very high volumes at the moment, "that's less than the usual 10, that's great!" Sure, if we were doing it in the normal five days. This week we're technically only open three: "...but you're welcome to work on Thursday or Friday if you'd like."
However, instead of doing 32 hours in three days and killing myself in the process, I've decided that I'm going to work a half-day on Friday and curse my employers the whole time. Who needs holidays? There's claims to push! I'm not the only one somewhat discomfited by this, it needs be said.
Who knew PSB could do "angry"? Anyway, in the grand scheme of things, this is nothing. A hurricane hasn't blown my house away, a forest fire hasn't burned down a quarter of my city, this is just griping about having a job. Yes, I know how whiny that all sounds. Tough. I want my holiday time, dagnabbit.
1
"...work Thursday/Friday if you'd like." No I wouldn't. Nobody would, except people truly desperate to escape family events. Gah.
Plans? Nope. We're both working Friday so tomorrow it's just "veg out, have a big dinner, maybe watch a movie on shiny platter."
A guy I interact with sometimes on Twitter who listens to Public Service Broadcasting gripes that they were better on their earlier records (the attitude a lot of people have about "back when they were good" annoys me greatly, as anyone who's followed along this year's writing project on my site knows) and I'm thinking, dude, have you listened to Every Valley? Because this is a band that's taken their winning formula and are asking themselves, "okay NOW what?" And so far it's been interesting to watch/hear. I don't think they've quite sussed out where to take their sound next but you can tell they're working on it.
Posted by: GreyDuck at November 21, 2018 08:24 AM (rKFiU)
2
Bummer. I wish your job situation were better. Do you at least get paid for the OT?
No exciting plans for us. Just the usual family get-together. I don't actually like getting together with my extended family bc they're all loud and annoying. But it's non-optional if I want to avoid drama, which I do.
Posted by: Mrs. Will (Kathryn) at November 21, 2018 12:27 PM (rWZ8Y)
3
Normally I'd say "yes" on getting paid for the OT, but! Since there are two paid holiday days, I don't think I'll be getting the OT bonus.
See, OT is considered everything worked over and above 40 hours... and holiday hours aren't considered as having been "worked." So I'll be paid, yes, but only at the normal per claim rate... but the holiday hours are paid at my so-called "base rate."
Which is somewhere around $11.90/hour. I don't know the exact amount, and right now I don't think anybody in payroll or HR knows, either. See, an e-mail was sent out just today notifying us of our annual "raise", which is just an increase of my base rate... and according to the e-mail, my base rate was, and I quote, "$0."
Just so I didn't feel lonely, similar e-mails were sent out to many of my fellow employees. Many voiced their consternation in a fairly loud manner, but I did not. Why should I get angry at something that's pretty clearly a mistake, and not something the boss had anything to do with.
I sent an e-mail notifying her of the problem, and went back to work. About a half-hour later, another e-mail was sent by HR, ostensibly with the base rate corrected... and mine was $0.07 less than it had been before the "raise."
In the three-and-a-half years I've been there, my payroll has been goofed up twice. Each time it was fixed and the additional amount deposited within a few business days. I'm not worried, is what I'm saying. Just amused at the reaction of my fellow cow-orkers.
Posted by: Wonderduck at November 22, 2018 01:39 AM (k1bsf)
4
I work for the govt, which exempted itself from all the rules private employers are subject to on wages. So I am a systems engineer who leads teams and also an hourly employee. And I don't get paid OT for the nights and weekends I put in. (There are certain employees who are on a different pay schedule who do get paid OT and night/holiday pay, which I did for about a year many years ago when my job duties were different.) But we do have generous flexibility, tons of leave (I just had my 15 year service anniversary, which brought me to 26 days of annual leave a year, on top of my 13 days of sick leave, which I use because the kids get sick a lot. Annual leave can accumulate up to 240 hours, and sick leave has no cap), my role allows me to work from home, and we can get comp time. So overall, I don't have any complaints.
Well, time to make the casserole. Those mushrooms won't dice themselves. Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted by: Mrs. Will (Kathryn) at November 22, 2018 07:23 AM (rWZ8Y)
5
Nothing stopping you from looking for a better job. The best job searches are when you're still employed because there's no pressure to take a bad offer.
Posted by: Mauser at November 22, 2018 09:51 PM (Ix1l6)
F1 Backdate: Mexico 2018
Hello, and welcome to the first ever F1 Backdate! When I'm running stupidly late on coverage of a F1 race, this is going to be the result: a look back at the most important aspects of the race with benefit of a week's worth of analysis. Let's get back(date) to it!
*WHAT HAPPENED: DH Verstappen and False Esteban! had a coming-together on Lap 44. FE! was in 16th and a lap down on the Dutchman, who was legitimately leading the race and appeared to be cruising to a victory. However, the Force India driver had only recently emerged from the pits with a brand-new set of tires, while Verstappen was on fairly used rubber. Thus, False Esteban! was substantially quicker than the Red Bull as they came down the pit straight. He managed to get alongside the outside of Red Bull, and held that position through Turn 1. This put him on the inside for Turn 2, and stayed very close to the curb as the two entered the turn. Verstappen, on the other hand held the normal line. The result was predictable:
click for larger
Not only did Lewis Hamilton, who was trailing Verstappen by a few seconds, take the lead but Verstappen suffered enough damage that he had no chance at all of catching the Mercedes driver. He still finished second, but his profanity-laced radio calls showed the level of agitation he was suffering. On the podium, he looked angry enough to spit teeth. In the interview room, he called the Force India driver "a p*ssy", while Hamilton and Kimi Raikkonen had to restrain themselves from laughing out loud. Verstappen would later get into an altercation with False Esteban! that involved shoving and vituperation. He would be assigned two days of "public service" by the FIA for that.
*ANALYSIS OR SOMETHING LIKE IT: So who's to blame for this incident that probably cost Verstappen the victory? False Esteban! was given a 10-second stop/go penalty during the race, very nearly the stiffest the stewards could hand out, just short of an exclusion. So no matter what the rules say, the Force India driver was at fault. That being said, the actual sporting regulations are... contradictory... on this matter.
On one hand, a backmarker is 100% allowed to unlap himself from the leader during a race. Also, in any passing situation the driver in front must leave at least a one-car gap; clearly Verstappen did not do this, closing down on False Esteban! in Turn 2. By those rules Verstappen was the cause of the collision. The rules also say that any pass must be accomplished in a safe and controlled manner, and thus False Esteban! should have backed off and waited, probably making the pass down the back straight with DRS assistance.
But there's also the rules of common sense. Common sense says that False Esteban! was an idiot to challenge the race leader at that time and place... he was in 16th, for heaven's sake. What was the point? He was faster, on fresh tires, and could have waited a couple of turns without costing himself anything... and it's not like the Red Bull wouldn't be passing him again once the Force India's tires wet off. Common sense also says that DH Verstappen shouldn't have put himself into that position. He had nothing to gain and everything to lose by futzing about with the backmarker, and should have given him plenty of room. Think of it like False Esteban! was a drunk fratboy staggering around a party throwing punches. Anybody with a lick of common sense would move back and avoid the punches. Verstappen just walked into a punch he could have easily avoided.
I'm inclined to declare this a 'racing incident' and let it go. False Esteban! was an idiot for trying that move when he did and thus costing the Red Bull driver the win. DH Verstappen was an idiot for not giving the Force India the room it needed, and thus costing himself the win. I really want to point at Verstappen and say "you're a fool." The thing is, could he have really expected the Force India driver to be where he was? A backmarker isn't supposed to push like that... and that's a failing of the "Blue Flag Mentality" that Formula 1 has. Slower cars are supposed to get out of the way of the leaders after all. I don't have an answer for any of that. I'm not sure there is an answer without rewriting the rules. Both drivers legitimately had a right to be where they were when the accident occurred.
The stewards thought Ocon caused an accident, thus was at fault. I guess that's the answer we have to go with, but it doesn't overly sit well with me.
1
My take is, Ocon was at fault, BUT Hamilton is right - Max should have just let him go. Being right isn't much consolation when you're the one who loses the race lead. And he deserved that win, too. He passed both Ferraris and both Mercedes on track. (Granted, the Ferraris' tires hadn't warmed up yet, Bottas is being...well...Bottas...and Hamilton knows he is not fighting with Verstappen and is therefore giving him tons of room (thus demonstrating to Max exactly what Max should have been doing with Ocon, but somehow I doubt Max got that point...knowing him, he probably did not realize Hamilton deliberately braked way early into Turn One in Mexico because he knew he only needed to finish eighth and he didn't want to risk not finishing at all. One hopes certain four-time champions who really should have learned this lesson by now were also paying attention and taking notes for next year). But still.)
Also, while Max REALLY should not have gone looking for Ocon, at least not until he'd calmed down, I kind of wish he had decked him just for that smarmy look on his face.
Posted by: Mrs. Will (Kathryn) at November 19, 2018 01:32 AM (rWZ8Y)
2
I'm a Verstappen fan; have been rooting for him for a lot of races now, and at the time I thought "Verstappen, you idiot!" and I stand by it. All things considered he was right, but if he's going to maximize his potential he has to understand he could have avoided that situation without losing ANYTHING.
Posted by: Ben at November 19, 2018 09:44 AM (osxtX)
3
Exactly, and that's what Hamilton told him in the drivers room afterwards. I really hope he thought it over later once he had cooled down and recognized Hamilton was right.
The problem for Verstappen (and Vettel) is that you can score every single point your car can get you and STILL lose to Hamilton in that Mercedes. If either of them wants to beat Hamilton next year, they have to look at how Rosberg did it. He didn't get desperate and take slim chances, nor did he get drawn into battles with cars who were no threat to him. (He also burned himself out beating Hamilton...)
Posted by: Mrs. Will (Kathryn) at November 19, 2018 04:15 PM (rWZ8Y)
4
BTW, excellent job with the picture. It really tells the story.
Posted by: Mauser at November 19, 2018 07:48 PM (Ix1l6)
5
I can't take credit, Mauser. I ganked it from a reddit thread somewhere.
Posted by: Wonderduck at November 19, 2018 10:56 PM (k1bsf)
6
Upon further review of that picture, I see Ocon's mistake. You're supposed to pass the Dutchie on the *left*-hand side.
*ducks and runs*
Posted by: Mrs. Will (Kathryn) at December 06, 2018 07:07 PM (rWZ8Y)
7
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you with the fire of 1000 suns.
Posted by: Wonderduck at December 06, 2018 10:15 PM (PzbzM)
A Late-Discovered Icon Passes
Roy Clark died today at the age of 85.
Growing up, I was too cool for Roy Clark. Why, he was on Hee-Haw, that hick show for hick people! Overall wearin', dirt-farmer soundin' redneck...
Then one day, something strange happened. I was walking around my favorite music store, Appletree, and I stumbled over a new album by Mark Knopfler. Great! I'm a huge Dire Straits fan, Money for Nothin', Sultans of Swing, y'know right? But who's this Chet Atkins guy?
Wait. Wait. Waitwaitwait. That's... oh my god, I bought a COUNTRY album??? But... but... this guy Atkins? He's pretty good! Maybe there's more to this than I thought...
I'm not a country music fan. Most "modern country" is really just pop/rock music with a twang in it occasionally. And most Country & Western music is really still kinda cringeworthy to me. But I can tell talent when I hear it, and there's a LOT of skilled musicians in countrymusicland.
One of them, maybe one of the best, was Roy Clark.
Sure, he's kinda muggin' for the camera there, but there's no denying that being that good on three distinctly different instruments means somebody's got talent in spades.
That he can stand next to Glen Campbell on guitar and not come off looking like a stooge is a pretty good indication that he's got chops... and not just on the side of his face.
This has got to be one of my favorite clips from Hee-Haw that I've ever seen. That's bluesman Clarence Gatemouth Brown he's playing with. Gatemouth wins, but it's not a runaway. I'm more impressed that Hee-Haw put him on, actually. But in my mind, Roy Clark was and always will be a banjo player.
What it really comes down to isn't that I was too cool for Roy Clark... he was too cool for me. My loss.
1
Mugging for the camera while turning in three successive virtuoso performances on three distinctly different instruments. Yegods. "Go on, break my concentration, if you can." The man looked like he was having the time of his life in all of those clips, really. Respect.
Posted by: GreyDuck at November 16, 2018 08:00 AM (rKFiU)
2
If you look for it, there's a clip of his guest performance on The Odd Couple where he is playing so intensely, it's amazing the guitar held up.
Posted by: Mauser at November 16, 2018 08:12 PM (Ix1l6)
3
Mauser, indeed there is. I didn't use it because it's so easy to find. It's also not country, and thus didn't really fit the theme of the post. But yeah, it's pretty swell. There are moments where I'm surprised he didn't just cut his fingertips off like the guitar was a giant cheese slicer.
Posted by: Wonderduck at November 16, 2018 09:44 PM (I6x9S)
4
I still have fond memories of Hee-Haw, though I doubt I could sit through a complete episode today...
-j
Posted by: J Greely at November 19, 2018 07:27 PM (LGSd2)
5
Crud, I forgot the rule about not posting links. Sorry, video here.
Posted by: Thomas at November 21, 2018 12:55 PM (mSIXR)
6
And now the internet hates me. One more try, then I'll give up with my heartiest apologies.
Posted by: Thomas at November 21, 2018 12:56 PM (mSIXR)
I Have Been Lax
Apparently the combination of "being quite sick" and "muscle relaxer" and "total silence for two days" is enough in this day and age to make people who read The Pond somewhat... jumpy. I'm not sure why.
I'm okay. I'm back on overtime... apparently my being bad was a one-week aberration. Or since we're approaching end-of-month, they want to shove as many claims out the door as possible and recognize that I manage to at least do that much. One of the two.
Thanksgiving is coming, and it'll be a six-day holiday for me. Yeah, I hit the jackpot on the lottery at work. Literally. To prevent EVERYBODY asking for Christmas Eve off (for example), time around Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years is blocked out so you literally can't request it. Then everybody who wants to take some time off has to submit an e-mail to the boss, stating what your Top Three Picks for time off would be. I actually requested some this year, mostly because Christmas and New Year's Day are on Tuesdays this time around. I requested Dec 21 and 24, because five-day weekends are good, Nov 26 and 27, because six-day weekends are even better, and Dec 31 and Jan 2, because hey, why not.
I got TWO of my choices, Thanksgiving and New Years. I'll take it! I dunno how many people got two selections, probably not many... I guess being a lil' angel at work pays off. Which doesn't explain why I got in the greatest sick burn dude on my Big Boss today. Big Boss? Yeah, my original boss got promoted to overseer of the entire building, so she's now Big Boss, and her replacement is now my boss. ANYway. Big Boss and I have always gotten along well... Cubs fans, y'know? When they won the World Series (did I mention that the Cubs won the World Series?) she texted me to celebrate because she knew I'd still be awake... we've gotten along well. She was at the office late tonight, didn't leave until nearly 9pm, or a half-hour before I left. While she was waiting for the multifunction photocopier (which is next to my cube) to spit out something or other, we were bantering away, blah blah blah Spartan pig Saracen dog blah blah blah, when she said "I used to be a good time once." It was totally in context with our conversation, really. Without even stopping to think, I come out with... "That's what all the writing on the bathroom walls said, yeah."
She couldn't stop laughing for at least five minutes. So I entirely expect to go to work tomorrow, clock in, and be totally fired. Like, epically, get police to escort him off the premises fired. I mean, c'mon, the 13th Amendment makes it illegal to own people like that, I wouldn't blame her in the least.
But man, it was sweet.
Speaking of going to work tomorrow, I've got to. So I'm going to bed tonight. Good night!
1
My tongue has an auto-bite feature that was installed at an "emergency sexual harassment all-hands meeting" back in the Nineties. Saves me a lot of trouble these days.
(the "emergency" turned out to be our director going on vacation that weekend; really poor communication from his admin...)
-j
Posted by: J Greely at November 15, 2018 01:37 PM (LGSd2)
2
One of the "interesting" aspects of my 40s has been the steady deterioration of the brain-to-mouth filter. I used to be quite circumspect! But now? Yikes. Soon I won't be fit for human interaction, at the rate I'm going.
Big vacation weekend, HUZZAH! Enjoy, good sir.
Posted by: GreyDuck at November 16, 2018 08:09 AM (rKFiU)
That Was... Unpleasant
Early Saturday afternoon, I started to feel... not so swell. I think I had a low fever, but by the evening I developed... not chills, exactly, but sort of an intermediary state between chills and non-chills. My left side, from the back of my head all the way down my back, would feel shivery, while the rest of me felt fine. This is nothing out of the ordinary, I've had that exact feeling since I was a kid. Everybody is different, y'know?
Sunday I definitely had a fever, but watching first the F1 race, then the Bears game, in real-time with friend Ben from Midnite Tease who is in Illinois for some training thing, distracted me enough that I kinda didn't notice until later. Around 5pm I took a nap... if you can call a sleeping period that lasted six hours a nap... woke up feeling not terrible, then went to bed a couple of hours later (stopping to post the PSB thing below, of course).
That was a mistake. I woke up this morning with a brainsplitter of a headache, definite fever, chills, the works. I called in after trying to convince myself for a while that I was fine. Failing in that, I took a shower and realized I just felt worse. That's when I called in. Like any good patient, I decided to do very little for a few hours, then go back to sleep.
Why I wound up watching two-hour long replays of 24 hour livestream events by a person who appears to be the go-to guy for GTAV racing mods. There's apparently a huge community of GTAV players who don't actually play the game, but have modded it into a racing "sim". Then I wound up watching a LIVE livestream event by my favorite racing sim driver... he takes it seriously, but not TOO seriously. Oh, and along the way he's been noticed by actual broadcasters and provides commentary for one simracing championship or another. He recently was in Japan for a stop on the tour there, and got to tell a great story where it turns out he was invited to Macau to do some of the coverage there. His response was "I'd love to, but I'll be in Monaco then." Just once, I'd love to be able to say that and mean it. "Gosh, I appreciate the offer to work at Bathurst, but I'll be doing the 24 Hours of LeMans that weekend."
*ahem*
Eventually I did go lie down for a nap, around 430pm or so. Nothing. For five hours I laid in bed, remarkably vivid thoughts of being a sim driver in GTAV and just sucking at it running through my head. And oh my stars and garters was I hot. I don't know if I was hot because I was running a fever, or if it was because the heater was turned up and all the windows closed, or what, but it was horrible. I've had this happen before, and I never can tell what the reason is.
Which brings us to now. I'm going to take a muscle relaxer before I go to bed, that should let me sleep... and hope in the morning I feel better. Fingers crossed.
1
May this comment reply find you far more hale and hearty than you were when you posted this entry!
Posted by: GreyDuck at November 13, 2018 08:33 AM (rKFiU)
2
" I called in after trying to convince myself for a while that I was fine."
Well, I hope you're feeling better after your rest, and I am glad to find out that your earlier post about not doing overtime for a while doesn't mean you were fired.
Posted by: Rick C at November 14, 2018 06:03 PM (Iwkd4)
NEW PSB EP!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, Public Service Broadcasting has released a new EP.
White Star Liner is the story of the Titanic, from her construction to her sinking. The band got to debut the songs in June, as it turns out, during the BBC's "Big Weekend" concert in the Titanic Quarter of Belfast. The stage was placed on the graving yards that the great ship was actually built upon, and if that isn't cool, what is?
Here's the first song:
White Star Liner is available wheresoever you choose to get your music thang on. It was $4.00 on Amazon, for reference's sake. Now if only they'd come to the Chicago area...
I don't understand Formula 1 anymore. First it rained but nobody seemed to care. Then drivers forgot how to drive, but nobody was penalized. Then a driver decided to break everything in a fit of pique, and he didn't get a grid penalty. Then it didn't rain but everybody freaked out anyway. And then the announcers thought one of the lakes was rain. Brazil: if you're not confused, you're not in Brazil! Here's the provisional grid for the 2018 Grand Prix of Brazil '66:
Pos
Driver
Car
Q1
Q2
Q3
1
LewisHamilton
Mercedes
1:08.464
1:07.795
1:07.281
2
DA Vettel
Ferrari
1:08.452
1:07.776
1:07.374
3
ValtteriBottas
Mercedes
1:08.492
1:07.727
1:07.441
4
KimiRäikkönen
Ferrari
1:08.452
1:08.028
1:07.456
5
DHVerstappen
Red Bull Racing
1:08.205
1:08.017
1:07.778
6
Frowny Ricciardo
Red Bull Racing
1:08.544
1:08.055
1:07.780
7
Sony Ericsson
Sauber Ferrari
1:08.754
1:08.579
1:08.296
8
Charles AMX-30
Sauber Ferrari
1:08.667
1:08.335
1:08.492
9
Lettuce Grosjean
Haas Ferrari
1:08.735
1:08.239
1:08.517
10
PierreGhastly
Scuderia Toro Rosso
1:09.046
1:08.616
1:09.029
11
DPMagnussen
Haas Ferrari
1:08.474
1:08.659
12
Lawsuit
Perez
Force India Mercedes
1:09.217
1:08.741
13
False Esteban!
Force India Mercedes
1:09.264
1:08.770
14
NicoHulkenberg
Renault
1:09.009
1:08.834
15
SergeySir Otkin
Williams Mercedes
1:09.259
1:10.381
16
CarlosSainz
Renault
1:09.269
17
BrendonHartley
Scuderia Toro Rosso
1:09.280
18
V8S Alonso
McLaren Renault
1:09.402
19
Veruca Stroll
Williams Mercedes
1:09.441
20
Stoffelwaffle
McLaren Renault
1:09.601
I said that I didn't understand F1 anymore, and this Quals session just made that totally clear in that I couldn't follow what was actually going on. Nothing seemed to be happening the way I'm used to and I can't quite put my finger on why. The only thing I got out of it is that Ferrari got sneaky, managed to qualify on the hardest rubber compound in Q2, while everybody else was on either the softest or the medium. So not only will Ferrari be fast, and at the top of the grid, but they'll be able to go longer than anybody else in the Top 10, too.
Fortunately for DA Vettel, he's not going to get penalized for his little contretemps in Q2. See, cars are randomly selected during Quals to be weighed during the sessions, just to make sure everybody is conforming to standards... and since it's random, you can't cheat without risking getting ejected. Vettel was selected as he was coming in for new tires, which caused a little problem. See, it was looking like rain, so you really wanted to get laps done before the moisture made the track undriveable. So Vettel hurried over to the weighbridge, which was blocked by an orange cone... don't move in until the cone is removed... and promptly kicked the cone into another city. Then he drove onto the scale pads and did NOT turn off his engine, which is required. He then started waving his hands in the air like he was trying to land a Dauntless on a carrier. Eventually he got settled, the car was weighed, and he drove off to his pits, screaming a blue streak as he went. Except those scale pads? They're NOT designed to be used as takeoff points, so his rear wheels basically kicked them in the opposite direction from the one the cone went. This destroys the weighbridge. For a while, it looked like DA Vettel was going to be kicked out of Quals. Then there was thought he'd get a grid penalty. As it turned out, he was hit with a €25000 fine and a non-driving reprimand, which means he was taken to the principals office and hit on the hands with a ruler. Oh, why "DA"? It stands for "dumb@ss," which he's proven to be this season. Wear it with pride, DA.
Race in the noonish on ESPN2, I think. See ya then and there.
F1 on TV: Brazil '66... 2018
Yep, Brazil. Home of Interlagos, "Between The Lakes." Also one of only two places that drivers have been attacked via attempted hijacking recently... and the other one was in the middle of a revolution at the time, so take from that what you will. Here's the track map.
Apparently the start/finish line has been moved. Or more correctly, I saw video footage of the start/finish line being waterblasted off the track surface, I only assume they put down a new one. I hope they did... an infinitely long Brazillian Grand Prix would drive me to drink... poison.
In other less-than-important news, it appears that Williams may or may not have offered Robert Kubica a race seat next year. There's been so many differnet headlines, tweets, and other posts popping up that I don't think anybody is really sure what's what. As much as I liked Koobs back in the day... the only Pole in F1... I am currently of the opinion that he's a f*cking moron who doesn't deserve to be offered a drive in a taxi, let alone in F1. This is a driver who was anointed as The Golden Child. He had a win at the 2008 Canadian GP a year after having that amazing wreck there. He was actually tabbed as being the best pure driver in F1 in 2011... better than Vettel, Hamilton, Alonso, all of 'em. He had Formula 1 in the palm of his hand. It was only a matter of time before he won a championship. Kinda like DH Verstappen, just with a bigger nose and lips smaller than his entire head.
And then he threw it all away in a stupid piss-ant rally race in Italy. He was there because "racers gotta race," and he wanted to go racing. And then he managed to impale his car on the end of a metal highway barrier which ripped up his leg and nearly amputated his hand and his arm. Surgery saved them, and they function.. but only a little bit. Go ahead, guess which arm was damaged. So instead of becoming the King of F1, he became the King of Arm Surgeries, having something like 17 in total. And now he might be back. Dumb*ss threw away what could have been a special career just because he wanted to go hooning a Skoda around the Italian countryside. Moron.
F1 Update: Mexico 2018, The Eight Days After Edition
I think doing an actual writeup for the 2018 Grand Prix of Mexico would be somewhat pointless now, so instead let's take a look at the fallout from it, shall we?
*DISPARITY: For whatever reason, the Mexico track this time around just highlighted the gulf that exists between the Haves and the Have Nots. Only four cars were on the lead lap at the end: Verstappen, Vettel, Raikkonen and Hamilton, aka Red Bull, Ferrari and Mercedes. Fifth place was Bottas in the other Mercedes, a lap down. Then came pretty much everybody else two laps down. It's been a long time since we've seen that sort of split. Because it's been such a long time, I'm inclined to not worry too much... things happen like that sometimes. If it happens again though...
*(THROWS ENERGY DRINK AGAINST WALL): You'll note that the only driver of the Big Three missing was Smiley Ricciardo. That's because he DNF'd... again, his eighth of the season, and fourth in the last seven races. When a clutch problem that began on Lap 5 finally became terminal with 10 laps to go, the Aussie was in second place and under no threat at all from Seb Vettel. Amusingly, as he walked away from the car, he flipped it off. It then burst into flames. Suprisingly, team principal Christian Horner did not burst into flames when Ricciardo later said in an interview that he doesn't "see the point of coming any more, of doing the last two races. Let Ghastly drive it, I'm done with it." Of course, he is leaving for Renault next year, and Pierre Ghastly is moving in. I feel for him, I really do... and also suggest that if Red Bull can get the young Frenchman out of Toro Rosso in time for the next race, they should. It just seems wrong to have someone that doesn't want to drive in the cockpit... particularly as it won't make any difference: Red Bull is locked into third in the constructor's championship, they cannot gain or lose places. Neither of their drivers are in any sort of driver's championship points battle, so you may as well put the new kid in the car, get him some practice with the big team. We love Smiley Ric, but it'd be for the best.
*VERGOIN': With his win, DH Verstappen became the driver with the most race victories in F1 history never to have gotten a pole position. He now has five, including Mexico back-to-back years. I find him to be a sulky brat with a tendency towards self-destruction on the track occasionally, but he's also a talented driver. And it's not like F1 hasn't seen drivers behaving like children before. Of course, DH still IS a child, so...
*FIVE: Of course, some guy named Hamilton won his fifth world title with his fourth place finish, joining some fairly exclusive company... St Fangio the Quick and Slappy. If you're curious, here's the song used in that video. I don't really have that much to say about Hamilton's championship; he's pretty clearly the best driver in F1 today, he's almost certainly got the best team behind him, and while the car may not be the best on the track anymore, it's not very far behind. Anybody believe that he couldn't end up with eight Driver's Championships if he feels motivated enough? It'd be hard to bet against him right now.
*NEXT!: So what do we have to look forward to in the next two races? A lot of battles lower down the championship tables, mostly. Haas shot their chances at being fourth in the constructor's championship in the foot with dual DNFs in Mexico. They're 30 points behind Renault, while McLaren is 22 points behind them in sixth. Even if they've only got a third as many points as third place, finishing fourth in the constructor's race in their third year of existence would be quite the thing. The American team has finished eighth the previous two years.
Brazil is the next race, coming up this weekend... and we all know how much I dearly love Interlagos. See you soon!
1
If Ricciardo really is a pyrokinetic, you'd think everyone would want him on their team. Of course, it would be pretty obvious...and dangerous.
Posted by: Ben at November 06, 2018 08:31 AM (osxtX)
2
Daniel posted a video on social media (I forget which one) saying he WOULD be finishing the season with Red Bull.
Max has shown a lot more maturity since his own goal in Monaco (crashed in FP3 and did not get to qualify). I saw a stat earlier today - in the last seven races, he's scored 111 of a possible 175 points. If Seb were driving like that, Hamilton would probably still win, but he wouldn't have done it yet.
First place in constructors is still undecided. I think Ferrari has to get both drivers on the podium at a minimum to win. *doing some math* Ferrari has to get a 1-2 in both races and Ham and Bot have to combine for less than 31 points across two races, which means at least one of those races has to have no podium for Merc. Seems unlikely for Hamilton to not at least finish third in both races. Oh well, it was a nice idea.
Posted by: Mrs. Will (Kathryn) at November 06, 2018 12:44 PM (FM610)
3
Has Red Bull always made their drivers do all these silly social media things, like the cowboy dress-up in Austin and so on? I'm having a hard time picturing Seb Vettel and Mark Webber doing one of those videos. I guess I could see them (or any two drivers, really) doing the caravan smashing one from last year, but the cowboy dress-up thing...Daniel was having fun with it, but Max looked mortified. (Which made it funnier, but still.)
Posted by: Kathryn at November 08, 2018 08:04 PM (IBh2K)
4
Red Bull does have a habit of doing wacky stuff, yeah. Like last year there was the Mexican Day of the Dead celebration that saw the drivers wearing facepaint. Or the lederhosen photoshoot from Austria. Or David Coulthard's Chin doing the first lap at Austin... when it was still just dirt. Or...
...you get the picture. I'm pretty sure I never saw Vettel do one, come to think of it....
Posted by: Wonderduck at November 08, 2018 11:58 PM (9gv+L)
5
I'm having a hard time picturing Vettel doing the sillier ones. I guess maybe a younger Vettel would be more amenable (I saw an old picture of him from his Red Bull days the other day, and he looked very, very young. Young enough that I instinctively wanted to pat his head, read him a story, and tuck him into bed with his stuffed animals), but Max is very young and still looks embarrassed a lot of the time. (Which, again, just makes it funnier. I would feel bad for him, but he's being paid a hell of a lot of money to be embarrassed.)
Also - I did not realize Gasly is actually older than Max. Not by much - apparently less than a year - but still.
Posted by: Mrs. Will (Kathryn) at November 09, 2018 12:32 PM (FM610)
1
Someday microwaves and oven clocks will be able to update their clocks OTA. It'd be a better improvement for them than AI. (Red Dwarf toaster youtube link goes here).
Posted by: Rick C at November 04, 2018 09:45 AM (Iwkd4)
2
Microwave oven and stove appliance: All one combined unit, yet have separate clocks which we had to turn back manually.
Totoro clock: Well, obviously that was by hand. But it's Totoro so it gets a pass.
$1000 alarm clock, aka HP 620 LX "palmtop computer": Has zero concept of DST. Great job there, Microsoft Windows CE 2.1, yeah?
Posted by: GreyDuck at November 04, 2018 09:54 AM (rKFiU)