March 31, 2006
Aussie Quals
I've seen the first two knockouts (it's 3am here; watched some anime with a friend tonight), and two interesting things:
1) Yuji Ide's SuperbestFriends (thanks, Steve Matchett) car was on display for THREE YEARS in the Melbourne airport before this race; and
2) Some Ferrari crewmember is going to be missing his posterior.
"Hey, Bob?"
"Yeah, Stan?"
"Have you seen blower #2?"
*crunchbumpbumpshattersnapcrunch*
"Never mind."
I'll watch Q3 once I wake up; more later!
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Its all a bit hazy here, I drank expresso for about 7 hours straight to enable watching it all. Ouch
Posted by: flotsky at March 31, 2006 11:52 PM (Dl1rW)
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March 30, 2006
Overheard from Australia...
"Okay, did you hit something, mate?"
Christijan Albers: "Yeah, I think I hit something... the wall."
(from Midlands team radio)
"These are not tractors."
(Bob Varsha, SPEED announcer, as another car took to the grass)
"Here's Yuji Ide, in his SuperAguri."
"AKA Arrows... aka slow."
(Steve Matchett & David Hobbes, SPEED announcers)
"Vrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"
(David Hobbes, SPEED announcer, trying to make us think SuperAguri is fast)
"Does anybody else think the Australia course looks like the world's largest slot-car track?"
(Scooter T. Wonderduck)
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Here's a replay of Ide.....I guess it's something bad that's happened if it's a replay of Ide. Oh, and it is.
- Hobbo
Posted by: SkarTisu at March 31, 2006 02:50 AM (KFUNT)
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"...and damned proud of it."
Thanks, Steven! I'll actually try to get some anime posting up here soon, too.
I'm currently chewing my way through three different series (DNA^2, World of Narue, and G-on Riders), and will write about them when I'm finished.
Initial reactions, though would be favorable for all three shows, with DNA^2 being the biggest surprise of the bunch. It's REALLY good!
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I never finished watching DNA^2 - too long between DVDs when it was being released.
I've extracted the opening and ending of G-On Riders and will upload them tonight. You swine. :p
Posted by: Pixy Misa at March 30, 2006 08:14 PM (7X4Bl)
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 31, 2006 01:49 AM (y6n8O)
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March 29, 2006
Black Watch no more.
Horrible news from
Silent Running; one of the most famous regiments of all military history has gone the way of the dodo.
The famed Black Watch has been disbanded.
As SDB says, this would be like the US Army disbanding the "Big Red 1." Or the Navy without an Enterprise.
*sigh* What ARE they thinking?
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Not only that.....
The Duke of Wellington's Regiment - the only commoners regiment, the regiment with the most true battle honours in the world. The only regiment to be awarded two sets of royal colours. Who at the beginning on the Gulf war made the fastest Armoured deployment in military history (4 days from notification in Germany to battlefield). The regiment that was the pattern to almost all armies of the world - the one that bares the motto of Virtutis Fortune Comes (Fortune Favours the Brave) Will on the 6th of June 2006 (like the Black Watch) be amalgamated in the Yorkshire Regiment.
And why do I mention this?
Because on the 11th April 1983 a snot nosed youth joined their ranks and joined a family. He saw action in Belize, Northern Ireland and much later with the 3rd Bn in Bosnia.
He learned from that young age that the regiment wasn't about fighting for queen and country - it was about fighting for the history, family and honour of a regiment that like the Black Watch made a huge impact on world history.
The same Regiment with a solid sporting history in Rugby - producing no fewer than 11 international players and winning the Army cup no fewer than 15 times. Through it's history 50 players have been produced by the regiment to represent the British Army
He left regular Army and joined the Territorial army to continue service to his regiment as many did and with them fought in Bosnia.
After rising to the rank of colour sgt (a rank close to that of God in the British infantry - God being Sgt.Major)he was placed in charge of Somme Coy's Sniper platoon.
On the sun kissed morning of the 11th April 1983 he stood on an ancient parade square feeling the breeze flow past him and wondered how many thousands of men had stood where he stood and paid the price for doing so.
Within years he knew, those training months in 3 section, Gibraltar platoon were a distant memory and of all 3 section only one was still alive.
The 6th of June, 12 days shy of the Regiments most important day and that of it's most precious battle honour for 'Waterloo' the 'Dukes' melt into the history books never to return.
Oh who was that one man? - that was me
Posted by: Simon at April 01, 2006 01:25 PM (ntCeu)
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Oh just as a point to note. The Black Watch is 281 years old.
The Duke of Wellington's Regiment is over 300
Posted by: Simon at April 01, 2006 02:39 PM (ntCeu)
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I apologize, Simon, I didn't mean to slight the other regiments being 'retired' at that time.
At least amongst the amateurs here (he says, raising a wing), the Black Watch has "the Name," not to mention the color scheme that works great for redheads.
But the King's Own Scottish Borderers, the Royal Scots, the Royal Highland Fusiliers, the Highlanders, and the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders, as well as the Black Watch are all disappearing, as well as Simon's Duke of Wellington's Regiment.
Proud units all. Bravo to all who served in them.
Posted by: Wonderduck at April 01, 2006 04:48 PM (Ffvoi)
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Nah, I'm just gutted like all the others... at least there will be a trace of most of us as we become amalgamated in new regiments, however some regiments like the Kings own scottish borders (KOSB)part of the original King's Division along with the Dukes will be completely deleted.
However, it has caused major trouble within the British Army as a whole and I will email you details of that - as it's amazing to the point that some regiments have been totally grounded because of the fear of trouble in the ranks.
Not good considering the enitre army is stretched beyond capacity. Yet we're still required to operate in more than 80 countries at present.
So need for the apology - I just felt the need to shout for them.
Posted by: Simon at April 01, 2006 05:27 PM (ntCeu)
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BREAKING F1 NEWS!
MINARDI is coming back!!!
Paul Stoddard, aka "Guido Minardi" here at The Pond, has applied for a team in 2008, and it will be called "European Minardi."
We here at F1 Update! are all aquiver.
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I think it needs a longer name. As a fan of the old National Lampoons films, I think it should be "Paul Stoddard's European Minardi".
Seriously though, this is wonderful news, we really do need more mouthy privateers back in F1. I always liked Eddie Jordan personally, certainly in the earlier years of his team. Would love to see him come back as well.
Posted by: flotsky at March 29, 2006 07:20 PM (6T2ID)
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Now I can work Guido & Ethel Minardi back into the F1 Updates! Huzzah!
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 29, 2006 07:21 PM (y6n8O)
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March 28, 2006
F1 On SPEED!
'Ello, mate! I'm Bruce, and this here's the schedule for the Aussie GP on SPEED this week!
Thursday, March 30th from 9p-10p, we've got Formula One Practice LIVE! Finally, something F1-related at a decent time!
Friday, March 31 from 11p-1230a, we get Formula One Qualifying from Australia, once again LIVE!
THEN, the piece of resistance! Throw a shrimp on the barbie, grab yerself a Fosters, and watch the Australian Grand Prix LIVE on Saturday, April 1st at 930pm until midnight!
If'n that's too late for you (must be Belgian), you can watch the race again on Sunday, April 2nd, at 1130am until 2pm!
Of course, it's better if you're actually here. We've cleaned up Albert Park. We've got the 'Roos out of the paddock. We've even gotten the koalas off the refueling rigs. So where the bloody hell are you?
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'Ello, Bruce! I'll be watching all the goings-on from my roo-free living room.
Interesting how Australia.com uses cuss words in their advertising. Are they that desperate for tourism?
Posted by: SkarTisu at March 28, 2006 05:33 PM (g/Pq4)
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'Ello Bruce! It's a great ad series, but it HAS caused some controversy. For a while, I guess it was only able to be shown after 10pm on the BBC. In Canada it was banned altogether for a time. (or did I reverse those?)
The best story about it, though, is in Japan... there isn't an accurate way to translate "Where the bloody hell are you" in japanese, because they don't have the words for it. Oops.
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 28, 2006 07:15 PM (wZLWV)
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For Belgians and us Europeans (as long as they are watching ITV in Britain that is) the timings are:
Saturday 03:30 ITV1 Qualifying (LIVE)
Saturday 13:40 ITV1 Qualifying Repeat
Sunday 04:00 ITV1 Race (LIVE)
Sunday 13:05 ITV1 Race repeat
Monday 00:15 ITV1 Race Highlights
I will be putting the race on my thing wot is like a tivo and watching it the second I wake up, like I did with Malaysia. What I will not be doing is turning on the radio as I brush my teeth beforehand, and finding out who won before I could dive across the bathroom to turn it off, shouting "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" in a 'nam film style.
Posted by: flotsky at March 28, 2006 07:25 PM (6T2ID)
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Unfortunately for us here in the States, we don't have to worry about that sort of thing... F1 isn't covered at ALL on the TV, save for Speedchannel. Forget completely about radio.
Not that I haven't tried. I've called into some sports-talk shows, and the producers have all said "Formula 1 racing? You've got to be kidding, right?"
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 28, 2006 08:32 PM (wZLWV)
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Actually, I take that back. They did welcome my call once... when Darth Bernie made those incredibly asinine comments about Danica Patrick and women in motorsports.
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 28, 2006 08:34 PM (wZLWV)
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Yep, we do really well for coverage here, you have to remember ITV is the commercial rival to BBC, so it is on an NBC/CBS/ABC scale in UK terms, and they are showing the races live whenever they happen, clearly their schedules as appropriate.
What used to be really good though as well was when Eurosport and DSF (a German language sports channel) used to show F1 live as well, so you could switch over during the ad breaks, or as often happened for me, when I got too fed up with Murray Walker I could change over for the whole race. I've been known to watch whole races in German (and I speak almost no German at all) rather than listen to Murray.
Speaking of annoying commentators, I was watching a little NASCAR the other night. I've heard it plenty of times before, but what the hell does "boogedyboogedyboogedy" mean? The most redneck of all the commentators seems to shout it when the green flag drops on the first lap.
Posted by: flotsky at March 28, 2006 10:01 PM (6T2ID)
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"boogedyboogedyboogedy" is the brain(?)child of Darrell Waltrip. Former NASCAR Winston Cup Champion, modern day commentator and Craftsman Truck Series truck owner.
Think of "boogedyboogedyboogedy" like a Tourret's sufferer's outburst when the green flag drops. It's something along those lines.
Can't stand Murray Walker? Gee, I can't see why.
Posted by: SkarTisu at March 29, 2006 05:37 AM (g/Pq4)
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It is best not to start me on the topic of Murray Walker, but to keep it brief, I found him pointless and annoying when I was 7, as I seemed to have a better understanding of the on-track action (rather than the technical side) at that point in my life. Twenty years later, he was REALLY annoying.
Posted by: flotsky at March 29, 2006 07:12 PM (6T2ID)
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I end this sermon today with the Words from the Book of Waltrip, verse #11: 'It is time for Us to go forth and race. Boogity. Boogity. And a third time, Boogity.'
From "In The Church Of Speed" located at http://wonderduck.mu.nu/archives/120264.php
STILL one of my favorite posts.
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 30, 2006 07:40 PM (y6n8O)
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March 27, 2006
A Black Day In Motor Sports.
If you're here in the US, you're certainly aware of what happened yesterday at the IRL race in Homestead, FL. There's even a good chance that if you're one of The Pond's overseas readers, you know about it.
I'm talking, of course, of the accident that killed IRL rookie Paul Dana. It's been a long time since I've seen a crash as frightening as this one; the Stan Fox crash at the Indy 500 in 1995 is the only one that I've watched that comes close, and Fox survived that one (sadly he was killed in 2000 in a traffic accident; for what it's worth, he's also one of two 'big name' drivers that I've met, with the other being Danica Patrick. They are both from the vicinty of The Pond).
After having seen the video of the Homestead wreck, I'm surprised both drivers weren't killed; another few inches forward and I'm sure that would have been the case. We here at The Pond won't point fingers; we have no idea who's fault the accident was, no way of finding out, and no real interest in doing so.
Instead, it's important to note that Dana died doing something that he loved, and that he worked hard to attain. He graduated from Northwestern University in Evanston, IL, with a journalism degree, and wrote about motorsports for a few years. Then he got a chance to drive, and took it, eventually running three IRL races last year before breaking his back during practice for the 2005 Indy 500. He had a grueling recovery, and got back into the car with Rahal/Letterman racing this year (teaming with the previously mentioned Patrick).
He was a few weeks short of his 31st birthday.
The condolences of The Pond go out to his wife and family, the Rahal/Letterman team, the IRL in general, and any of his fans.
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We didn't know about it until the start of the race coverage over here, so we haven't seen the incident. The race just seemed a lot more subdued than one would expect for the start of the season.
I for one echo your condolences to all, and am just thankful we have far fewer of these awful days than we used to.
Posted by: flotsky at March 27, 2006 07:32 PM (6T2ID)
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For what it's worth, you can see the crash at http://youtube.com/watch?v=yTAIpz3KLUM
Ed Carpentier spins and crunches the wall, skids down the track and comes to a stop. Then Dana hits him. Not pretty, but it easily could have been worse, again.
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 28, 2006 09:51 AM (+rGmJ)
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March 26, 2006
"It's all part of my rock 'n' roll fantasy..."
Sorry for the lack of posts recently. Along with the job at Duck U., my fantasy baseball league has it's auction in (glances at clock) one hour and of course
BATracer is sucking time away as well.
So if anybody ever says to me "you're living in a fantasy world," I can honestly say "yes, but I'm having fun."
Now all I have to figure out is if Pujols is better than Alonso...
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March 23, 2006
BATracer = Timesucker
Okay, here you go... the end of your productive time online. Go to
BATracer, register, enter a league, and have at it.
I'm in one, my teammate Matthew and I have managed to take our Toro Rosso cars to the front of the grid with the first race coming up on Friday (and we're turning quickest laps in pre-race practice).
Trust me.
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I don't know which is worse, the fact that I was hooked and saw the point after about 2.34 minutes, or the fact that I am racing for Midlands...
Posted by: flotsky at March 23, 2006 08:40 PM (6T2ID)
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Hey, I'm racing for the Team That Was Minardi... you think I feel good about that? :-)
What session number are you in? It'd be just my luck to discover that you're in the same one as me...
Posted by: wonderduck at March 24, 2006 02:56 AM (+rGmJ)
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Hey, thanks for introducing me to this. I didn't want to accomplish anything else in my day-to-day life anymore, anyway.
I'm in race F1 2006 #348. Sitting in a Honda. Finished up 11th in practice after goofing up the last two practice runs. Teammate's sitting in 17th. Qualifying starts in a few hours, and I have a setup and quali strategy loaded up and ready to go.
This is going to be bad for me. Very, very bad.
Posted by: SkarTisu at March 24, 2006 09:31 PM (g/Pq4)
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Yeah, I know what you mean. We're a few hours away from the Sepang race in mine, I'm on pole after finishing 2nd in Bahrain... my teammate is 2nd on the grid.
IN A
TORO FRICKIN' ROSSO!!!
It's all about testing.
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 26, 2006 03:53 AM (wZLWV)
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I qualified 5th and finished 2nd at Bahrain, which was a pleasant surprise. Practice at Malaysia is monsoon, and qual is expected to be dry. Bleah. Throw the dice on a qual setup!
My teammate finished 21st at Bahrain. LOL
Posted by: SkarTisu at March 26, 2006 12:42 PM (g/Pq4)
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We will draw a veil over my performances. I am blaming my engine at the moment.
Posted by: flotsky at March 26, 2006 07:33 PM (6T2ID)
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Two races, one pole, twice I've finished second. Who's the duck?
Posted by: wonderduck at March 27, 2006 02:34 AM (y6n8O)
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March 21, 2006
Wings Ahoy!
Well. Due to a bit of back-room skullduggery, Ferrari is now admitting that they "misunderstood" the regulations regarding their moving rear wing, and it will be changed by Australia. It seems that eight of the other teams threatened to scream to the high heavens if a change wasn't made, and Ferrari caved (I'd assume that the two Crimson Steer teams weren't involved).
So much for "We haven't been approached by the scruitineers, so there's no problem," eh?
But it suddenly comes out that McLaren and BMW have to make changes, as well. Please note, there had been no complaints levied against them... I'm assuming this is the FIA's way of mollifying Ferrari's tifosi hordes. "Ferrari might have made a 'mistake,' but see, two other teams did, too!"
Uh-huh. Sure.
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And this is all BEFORE Bernie invests in Ferrari. Just wait until his money is in, and a blind eye is turned to the twin jet engines Jean Todt demands to have "secretly" fitted to each car.
Oh and keep it quiet, I may be starting a wrestling blog soon. I know
Posted by: flotsky at March 21, 2006 01:58 PM (Dl1rW)
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March 19, 2006
F1 UPDATE!: MALAYSIA.
Race 2 in the books, lets get to the updatin'!
*LUMP GO BOOM!: When people look back at week 2 of the 2006 Formula 1 season, they will marvel at the amount of engines that had their "magic smoke" released from them. Nico Rosberg's impersonation of a F-4 Phantom II was particularly awe-inspiring, but there were many, many others over the weekend. The question becomes "Is this going to happen every other week?" Or was it just because it was 100 degrees F. and humid in Kuala Lumpur this weekend? Time will tell, but remind me how this was supposed to save money?
*RACE GO YAWN!: Not a very thrilling race from the standpoint of it ever being in doubt. The boys in Renault blue & yellow led all but one lap, and Giancarlo Fisichella led all but six laps (if the F1 UPDATE!'s statisticians are correct) in his win from pole. Just goes to show that the new qualifying format hasn't been figured out yet by the teams: the cars that could have challenged for the win wound up stuck behind slower teams due to engine changes and the like, and that let Fisi run and hide.
*TEAM OF THE RACE: Renault. Their first one-two podium finish since 1983 (when they were Benneton), decided in dominating fashion. Who else could this be given to?
*DRIVER OF THE RACE: Giancarlo Fisichella, Renault. Okay, Fisi, you got your one win of the year. Now sit down.
*MOVE OF THE RACE: For sheer impressiveness, it's got to be Fernando Alonso's start, jumping from seventh to third by the first corner. Renault's amazing starting ability almost makes a mockery of the grid system. Honorable mention goes to Rubens Barrichello. Somewhere around the middle of the race, Vitantonio Liuzzi and Takuma Sato were involved in a bitter struggle for 14th position; Barrichello, who at the time was a lap up on the two and trying to get by them, dove underneath at the apex of a turn and snuck by in blistering fashion, all the while praying they saw him coming. He got lucky, and gets an HMotR because of it.
*MOOOOOOOOO-VE OF THE RACE: Celebrating the bovine in every F1 driver, the Moooooo-Ve this week goes to Jarno "The Engineer" Trulli. In a race that was actually pretty good as far as lack of bovine actions go, Trulli wins this week's award by holding up half the field for most of the race. Shovel coal faster, Jarno!
*DRIVER QUOTES:
more...
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My personal genuine quote of the race was Nico Rosberg: "I wasn't agressive enough".
Enough? You lasted 7 laps! Any more aggresive and you would have driven over Alonso's head on the first lap.
Posted by: flotsky at March 21, 2006 02:14 PM (Dl1rW)
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...not to mention punting his teammate into the South China Sea. He was def'n'ly feeling his oats, so to speak.
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 21, 2006 07:44 PM (Ffvoi)
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March 18, 2006
F1 Quals: Sepang!
Okay, I don't have much time to comment, but it's an amazing grid this time. Fisichella's Renault is on pole, with Button at P2.
The surprising bit is that the Williams boys are 3-4, with Rosberg beating his partner! Rookie rookie...
The big names are sitting in the middle of the grid, and that's probably where the winner is going to come from, but there's the problem of engine reliablity... there are FIVE cars that have new engines, with Slappy and Ralf being the latest additions. Heck, Massa will be starting from the pit lane.
Fun race coming up today, see ya on the far side of it!
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Button could have had pole as well. If you saw him come out of the last corner, he went almost all the way across the track at a diagonal. If he had gone straight...
Posted by: flotsky at March 18, 2006 10:00 AM (Dl1rW)
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...he would have save a couple thousanths of a second; probably not enough to land on pole.
Still, we'll not know.
Posted by: wonderduck at March 18, 2006 07:00 PM (y6n8O)
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Funniest comment from race day: Webber is interviewed after his retirement, and he claims he had a hydraulic problem on the car...
Matchett's comment afterwards: "Yeah, a piston knocked the hydraulic pump off the lump, is more like it!"
LOL!
Posted by: SkarTisu at March 19, 2006 02:40 PM (hlgpz)
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March 16, 2006
"Life? Don't talk to me about life..."
Okay, so this is just a heads-up for my hordes of readers. Currently over at Duck U. there's a special series of events ongoing that I, in my guise of Acting Manager of the Duck U. Bookstore, must be at as we're in charge of the merchandise sales.
As an example of what my schedule is like right now, I went to work at 810am, and got home at 1045pm.
Tomorrow may be slightly better, but it may not as well. Chances are that I won't get a chance to watch practice and quals until Saturday afternoon Central Standard Pond Time... or about 12 hours before the race, roughly.
Rest assured, however: the F1 UPDATE! crew will be on the ball, and should have Malaysia's report up on Sunday afternoon. I'm hoping to be home in time from Saturday's event to catch the race live.
Thanks for understanding! Consider this an open thread for your enjoyment in the meantime.
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Life's for sissies, anyway.
Gotta love Speed Channel's producers. Using a Big Daddy Kane tune during the practice show was a great touch!
Posted by: SkarTisu at March 16, 2006 07:22 PM (hlgpz)
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Hey, did anyone see that report on the idiot who trashed a $1m Zonda in Califonia?
While racing a Merc after a party @125mph, became airborne, went up a hill into a powerline pole, ripped the car in two totally removing the engine - when police arrived on the scene one person was alone sat in the passenger seat, when they ask him if had been the driver he said "No, it was this German guy called Friedrick who seems to have run off".
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/03/16/national/main1409832.shtml
I bet it was Bernie
Posted by: Simon at March 17, 2006 04:41 PM (ntCeu)
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Simon, I know a fair bit about this. The owner of car who claimed he wasn't driving is an exec for Gizmondo, which was supposed to be a rival to the Playstation Portable and the like. The company is going bust in a bad way, lot of people seem to have lost money. Some of the execs are supposed to have ties to the Swedish Mafia (!), and the whole thing seems well dodgy. Have a bit of a dig about it, its all very interesting.
Posted by: flotsky at March 18, 2006 01:01 AM (Dl1rW)
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March 15, 2006
Two Bloody Pony Notes
Well, really, one note, one rant, and a hello.
First up, it appears that we can add Felipe (Castrato) Massa to the list of people who are probably going to have to change an engine before Sepang. Seems the good folks at Maranello are thinking that he ran it into the ground trying to recover from last week's Moooooo-ve of the Week. Funny how that works.
Over at grandprix.com, they currently have an article about Darth Ecclestone and the fact that he's considering buying into Ferrari.
*pause*
*deep breath*
What in the bloody BLUE HELL would make him think that's a GOOD FRICKIN' IDEA?!?!?!? I wonder if he can even SAY "impartiality" or "good sense" or "collusion." It may not be quite as bad as the Commissioner of Baseball owning a MLB team (oh, wait, I forgot, he 'sold his interest' to his daughter cough cough), but it's getting there.
Heck, why not? Go ahead, Bernie! It's pretty darn clear that you already suck up to Slappy's Gang, may as well make it official... just go all 'Brokeback' at the start/finish line of Sepang why don't you? Lord knows you've been doing it to US for years.
And welcome aboard to new commenter SkarTisu, by the way! This brings the readership levels to a new high!
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Hmmmm. I'm trying to think of why Bernie would buy into Ferrari. I do know that he could potentially be sidelined in F1 management soon if the buyout of the series by the people who own MotoGP goes through (I've heard about this, but I cannot remember any of the names, it is early). So it could be his way of keeping involved.
However, I suspect he has darker purpose. He wants to obtain an object he cannot have, an item that brings great fortune and power to those who wear it. I am of course talking about Jean Todt's sweater. Jean's mysterious ability to wear this in 100 degree heat has proved its power, and Bernie wants all that for himself.
Posted by: flotsky at March 15, 2006 08:43 PM (6T2ID)
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If the CVC buyout goes ahead Bernie will still be in charge, but only a minority shareholder.
Posted by: Don Speekingleesh at March 15, 2006 09:12 PM (/m3oy)
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I just had a sneaking suspicion that if CVC had any sense, they would sideline him completely. It has always been run in the past to solely favour one person i.e. Bernie.
Posted by: flotsky at March 15, 2006 11:07 PM (6T2ID)
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Thanks for the welcome, Wonderduck! Great to be here.
I wonder if the tape on Todt's fingers is really used to focus the power of The Sweater somehow. Or to stop Todt from getting too concentrated an exposure to its power.
Bernie buying into Ferrari? More like Bernie giving some of the money back that Ferrari's given him for "favorable dispensation" in the past.
I don't know about you guys, but I was morbidly thrilled to see Ferrari falter so badly last year. *evil grin*
Posted by: SkarTisu at March 16, 2006 05:26 AM (hlgpz)
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If you take "morbidly" out of the sentence, that about covers how I felt about Ferrari peeing the season down their leg...
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 16, 2006 05:11 PM (Ffvoi)
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March 14, 2006
Various F1 Notes...
Okay, gather 'round and listen to your ol' Unka Duck tell you some bits and pieces of news from the fallout of Bahrain...
First off, Ferrari is catching some flak for their rear wing. It (appears) that it (seems) to (perhaps) flex at speed, which is against the FIA regulations. Of course, the Boys in Red say "no, no, the FIA looked at it and it's hunky-dory." The Max Mosley puppet on Jean Todt's lap just nodded and agreed. Stay tuned for nothing to come of this, because, y'know, it's FERRARI.
Next up, we've got TWO engine changes going into Sepang. #1 is David Coulthard's Chin's Crimson Steer. We just barely saw a flash of his car being pushed off-track after the race ended. It turns out that because of WHEN it blew (just after the checkered flag fell), he's going to catch a 10-spot penalty. If it had blown a minute earlier, BEFORE the end of the race, there'd be no penalty (as that's considered penalty enough). Bad news for The Chin.
#2 MAY be Juan Pablo Montoya. Turns out his fifth-place finish may was caused by a computer/engine interface problem. The engine lasted the race, obviously, but if McLaren can't figure out the problem, they'll have no choice but to change it out. 50-50, coin-flip and pick 'em.
Finally, there may be TWO races in Japan next year. The Japanese Grand Prix is going to be held at Toyota's Fuji Speedway, the first time since 1987 it'll be held somewhere else than Honda's Suzuka circuit. However, talks are ongoing for Suzuka to host another race, perhaps called the Pacific GP or the Asian GP.
I'm sure you're wondering just WHY there'd be a second race in Japan. That'd bring the number of races in the season up to 20, since Spa-Francorpants will be back on the docket. Well, there's talk that Hockenheim will quit Grand Prix in either 2007 or 2008 unless they stop losing money. Yeesh.
Okay, that's enough talk. You kids get off my lawn!
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Luckily the FIA overlooked Ferrari's 2.6L V8. Ba-zing.
Posted by: SkarTisu at March 15, 2006 10:36 AM (KFUNT)
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No they didn't. They just don't
care.
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 15, 2006 05:56 PM (wZLWV)
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March 13, 2006
F1 on SPEED!!!
No rest for the Circus this week. They've loaded their cars into the shipping containers, stuck 'em on a freighter, and sailed them across the Arabian Sea and past the Bay of Bengal to Malaysia.
Except for MF1. They stuck their cars on THIS and pretended to sail to Madagascar. Nobody's quite sure why. Albers was probably getting driving practice.
AAAAAAnnnyway... because it's another raceweek, that means SPEED Channel is carrying everything live again! Lets look, shall we?
Thursday, March 16th, from 1159pm to 1am, we've got LIVE coverage of Practice from Sepang. No replay, though.
Friday, 3/17, from 1130pm to 1159pm, we get "Inside Formula 1," (brought to you by Allianz: We Have Something To Do With Other Stuff.). From 1159pm to 130am, we get LIVE coverage of Qualifying. No replay, though... what's up with that?
Sunday, 3/19 brings us the race from Sepang twice! First, from 1230am to 3am we get the race LIVE! The replay is from 1130am to 2pm.
As usual, all times are Central. Add one hour for Eastern, subtract two for Pacific, add snickerwaffle hours for Wales.
Posted by: Wonderduck at
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Wales???
better throw in a couple of sheep as well then
LOL
Posted by: Simon at March 13, 2006 10:02 PM (ntCeu)
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"I swear, officer, I was just trying to help that sheep over the fence."
"Da-a-a-a-a-a-ddy! Da-a-a-a-a-a-a-ddy!"
"Wales... where men are men, and sheep are nervous."
(see also
Montana.)
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 14, 2006 05:21 PM (y6n8O)
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This lack of qualifying replay caught me out. Due to new satellite receiver equipment and ineptitude, I didn't successfully record qualifying. Of course, if I'd have seen qualifying for myself, I'd have thrown something heavy and solid when watching Kimi's suspension failure.
Posted by: SkarTisu at March 15, 2006 02:54 PM (hlgpz)
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March 12, 2006
F1 UPDATE!: BAHRAIN!
Hello and welcome to a new season of F1 UPDATE! Lets just get right to the fun stuff!!!
*EVERYTHING OLD IS... HEY, WHO'S THAT GUY IN RED?: Last season, it was pretty common to see Fernando Alonso standing on the podium (what WAS up with that hip swivel thing, anyway?), with Kimi Raikkonen joining him. The first race of 2006 was no different, but Michael "Slappy" Schumacher was an unfamiliar face. While the staff here at F1 UPDATE! never felt that Slappy really had a chance to win the race, it's an interesting (and, we admit, unexpected) development to see Ferrari back as a legit challenger.
*EVERYTHING NEW IS... UM... STILL NEW: Toro Lawnmowero's Scott Speed and Williams' Nico Rosberg showed that they might be rookies, but they drive like deserve to be on the grid. Quite the welcome switch from last year's rookie crop.
*TEAM OF THE RACE: Williams-Cosworth. After the disasterous season they had last year, one had to wonder just exactly how good Williams could be with a new engine supplier. Well, they showed that they're potentially quite good, finishing 6th and 7th. A tip of the cap goes to McLaren as well, but they were expected to be good, so 3rd and 5th isn't enough to get the TotR award.
*DRIVE OF THE RACE: Kimi Raikkonen, McLaren. It's almost becoming dull: Kimi has something break during qualifying, Kimi starts from the back of the grid, Kimi ends up on the podium. The result might be "ho-hum, what again?", but it's still enough to earn the Drive of the Race.
*MOVE OF THE RACE: No single pass was awe-inspiring enough to truly earn the MotR, but Jensen Button had a slew of decent passes on top-level competiton, with his lap 11 pass of JP Montoya being the best of the bunch.
*MOOOOOOOOO-VE OF THE RACE: Ferrari's Felipe Massa takes this prize, with his wheel-smoking spin/pass of Fernando Alonso on Lap 8. How Alonso managed to miss pronging himself into the side of Massa still boggles our minds here at F1 UPDATE!, and exactly where Massa's brain was at the time also boggles our minds. The way it happened, we thought the Ferrari had broken something, or had a tire die... nope, he just lost it. Moo.
*QUOTES OF THE RACE:
more...
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F1, Hell yeah! It was back and it was fun! Alonso rightly thanked his pit crew on the slowing down lap, they totally won him the race in the end, that was so close on the last change. Obviously they like him and don't quite feel the same about Fischi.
Awesome double-header of a weekend, also had A1GP from Leguna Seca. Which isn't a track to be raced in the wet. Mucho incidents.
Posted by: flotsky at March 12, 2006 08:40 PM (6T2ID)
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March 11, 2006
Bahrain Quals (finally)!
Okay, right, sorry it took me so long to get this up (almost 19 hours after the qualification runs ended), but life got in the way. Oh well.
Where the HECK did Ferrari come from? Congratulations to Michael Schumacher, by all means, for tying the pole record of the late Ayrton Senna. The question now is 'were they on a light fuel load?' We'll see in the race, of course, but for now, it's Ferrari one-two, with Felipe Massa right alongside of Slappy.
Button and Alonso make up the 2nd row, with Montoya and Button's teammate Rubens Barrichello on row 3. Webber, Klein, Fisichella and Heidfeld make up the rest of the top 10.
The new quals format seems like a winner, but I've got to say that at the moment, it's incredibly difficult to keep track of who's where on the grid at any given time. I think it's because of the FIA's graphics package, to be honest... they aren't giving us enough information. The scrolling bar is nice, but it just wasn't on-screen enough. When it WAS on-screen, it wasn't there at the right times. We need it more, and later, I think.
Jack Newhouse was the last to be bumped, and starts 11th, right behind his BMW partner. Considering this was their first race, BMW's pitbox has got to be pleased. Nico Rosburg managed to slot in 12th, a nice job by the rookie right up until he managed to stick the back end of his car into a tirewall. David Coulthard's Chin is 13th, which has got to be a disappointment for him.
However, the biggest disappointment has got to be in the Toyota camp. The best they could come up with is 14th with Jarno Trulli? Yeesh. The two Toro Lawnmowers come up next with Liuzzi beating American Scott Speed for 15th. THEN come the rest of the Toyota-powered cars, with Cora's Husband Ralf leading the two MF1 entries of Albers and Montiero onto the grid.
Finally our heroes from Super Aguri, Suicide Sato and Yuji Ide, in their 4-year old Arrows cars, taking 20th and 21st.
Which brings us to the dramatic moment of the day, and has got to be causing Kimi Raikkonen to spit nails. He was on a hotlap in the first qualifying segment when... well, SOMETHING broke. Whatever that something was, it caused his rear wing to come free, his car to hork itself around, and his rear suspension to snap like a twig. Yeesh, the luck this man has... though one has to start wondering: is it just bad luck, or is it Kimi driving the car into the ground? Last year, I would have just said "bad luck," but after all the crepe he went through in 2005, and now this... well, I'm starting to wonder if he'd be better suited for something less fragile than a F1 machine.
Like the Craftsman Truck series.
Still and all, it's time to go racing! See you on the far side of Bahrain!
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It is still 2005 for Kimi. Starting at the back *again*. Still, one of the highlights of last year were his charges through the field. Mixed with Shumey and Massa (I would loved to have seen Michaels face had Massa gone that iota faster. Massa was my driver of the day for that alone) bringing Ferrari back, it is even more intriguing a race than a couple of days ago. Bring it on!
Posted by: flotsky at March 11, 2006 09:35 PM (Dl1rW)
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March 10, 2006
Bahrain: Friday Practice
Okay, so for once we get a Friday Practice session that actually
means something! For the first time, we get to see how the cars perform with the new V8 engines, the new aero rules, the new tire rules, the new drivers, and the new paintjobs (can't forget about those).
And, as predicted here two months ago, we discover that the detuned and rev-limited V10 of Toro Rassenfrassen isn't much of a handicap, as Vitantonio Liuzzi managed to turn in the 6th best time... which led to speculation amongst the Legendary Announce Team that the FIA will decide to handicap the engine even more. Which made me wonder why the team is even bothering to race; the FIA'd be basically telling them "we won't let you win with that engine."
Also a non-surprise: Kimi Raikkonnen's car ended up dead on the track, as happened SO often last year. Doesn't look like he's going to have to change the engine, though (at least when this is being written). He did have a small fire in the cockpit, which can't have helped his mood much.
Surprises include Ferrari, which was near the top of the leaderboard all day, and Williams, which wasn't. In fact, the Cosworth-powered car looked decidedly sluggish during the few laps they did turn.
Another surprise: I LIKE the sound of the new V8 engine. I was expecting something high-pitched, nasally, and whiny. Instead, there was a pleasing growl to the beast. Not as deep as last year, but I guess we can't have everything.
Oh, and the use of V8s to slow the cars? Didn't happen: the top lap time was within a second or two of the track records. So much for that.
New-rules qualifying session on Saturday... looking forward to it!
Boy, it's good to be back.
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Up relatively early to watch the qualies. Just had them explained, clearly still hungover as all I can think is "hurr????". Will be exciting though from the looks of it.
Posted by: flotsky at March 10, 2006 10:40 PM (Dl1rW)
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It actually looks cold there lol
Posted by: Simon at March 10, 2006 10:52 PM (ntCeu)
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Well, that was certainly an interesting and more lively qualifying session.
For some reason i'm kinda happy that Shuey did so well - bizarre.
Interesting quantity of tyre changing too
Posted by: Simon at March 11, 2006 04:00 AM (ntCeu)
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March 09, 2006
Simon Sez...
(Wonderduck here. Official Travelling Correspondant Simon chimed in a couple of times in comments, and I'm going to take the liberty of turning one of them into a post, here on the verge of the Bahrain race. Unfortunately, it seems that his job assignment to Bahrain has fallen through, so we won't be getting on-site reporting for THIS one. He apparantly has a chance to attend Monaco, however, poor guy. Let's all feel sorry for him now. Awww.
Okay, over to Simon...)
Takuma Sato....
Come on lets have a laugh...
1. Will he survive or die this season?
2. Will he kill someone else?
3. How many races will he actually complete?
4. How many crashes will he have?
5. How many other cars will he take out throughout the entire season?
6. Cars are valued between $4-8 million each - What do you think the net value of his carnage be this season?
(Wonderduck here again. My responses are as follows:
1) Survive, but SOMEONE will try to kill him after yet another shunt.
2) No. Cars are built too strongly. But it won't be for lack of trying...
3) Eight... but some of his problems WON'T be because of accidents. New car + new team + new engines = Same Old Problems.
4) Including practice and quals? I'm guessing 12. I have faith.
5) Oooh, a toughy. Magic 8-ball says [shaking] 10.
6) Does the phrase "Small South-American Country" mean anything?
Everybody else, chime in in the comments! Winners will get a No-Prize at the end of the season, or when Sato is removed from his seat, or is unable to compete for any reason.)
Posted by: Wonderduck at
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1. Sadly he'll live
2. Well he did give new meaning to Japanese and zero - I think he'll have a near miss in that depatment.
3. hmmmmmmmmm 3, 4 at a push.
4. yeah 12 is a good number - but it is Sato so we better aire on the side of caution and go for 18 as he's been known to have a few in the same race.
5. 20 and thats with his eyes open
6 $200m
By the end of the season he will have been removed and given a sharp knife to go and do the honorable thing (I hope) - however, he'll probably trip up and stab someone else by accident
Posted by: Simon at March 09, 2006 05:50 PM (ntCeu)
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I know this sounds weird, considering I just slagged him in the post, but:
Take it easy on Taku, Simon! "SADLY, he'll live?" That's not very nice...
That being said, "The New Japanese Zero" sounds like a new nickname in the making...
Posted by: Wonderduck at March 09, 2006 06:06 PM (Ffvoi)
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My Sato prediction? Last race of the season, Schumacher (having announced his retirement in June) will be leading his last ever GP. He will come to overtake Mr Sato, who will clip him and rob him of a final victory.
Posted by: flotsky at March 09, 2006 08:16 PM (6T2ID)
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lol why should I be nice to Kamikaze Soto and his screams of Banzai as he trys to prevent people from overtaking by broadsiding them.
The only man to ever hold the wrong end of a katana by mistake.
He's so small they lose him when walks around behind the car - the man who really does have to run around in a shower to get wet.
His grandfather was the guy at Hiroshima who stood with his recently acquired baseball glove at ground zero, looked up and shouted "I've got it, it's mine".
Posted by: Simon at March 10, 2006 05:25 AM (ntCeu)
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