February 26, 2015


Allow me to set the scene for you, if I may.  It is Ten in the morning on Thursday, and Wonderduck is not happy.  From the moment he woke up some 90 minutes earlier he has had a massive headache.  Further, his left ear feels like it contains a half-gallon of fluid and he can hardly hear anything from it.  As if that wasn't enough, roughly half of the nail on one of his big toes had decided to go forth and attempt to found a new lifeform.  To repeat: Wonderduck is not happy.

The phone rings, it's an automated message telling him that he's the lucky recipient of a trip voucher for two to his choice of *click*.  As Our Hero puts the phone back on the desk, it rings again.  This time glancing at the Caller ID before answering, he sees the number is showing as "000-000-0000".  This one gets the "send directly to voicemail" button, where it's later revealed to be two seconds of silence.  No less than five minutes later, the phone rings again.  Mind you, this third call quite possibly equals the number of times Wonderduck's phone has rung all month.  However, this one shows the area code of Duckford, so with some trepidation he answers it.

It's the place he did the testing for last week.  They'd like to interview him for a job, can you be here at 1215pm?  Yes?  Great, see you then.  Wonderduck is heading for the shower even before he hangs up the phone.  Things go as one would expect... shower, get dressed, sit around Pond Central for an hour in a dress shirt and tie before it comes time to leave... when Our Hero gets the surprise of his life.

It had snowed sometime since he last left Pond Central, and the Duckmobile has a good two or three inches on it.  Let us take stock of the situation, shall we?  Wonderduck is wearing a suit and tie, dress shoes, it's 14°F with a brisk breeze, his snowbrush is in the car, and he's suddenly on minus time.  What's a seriously annoyed duck to do?

Well, in this case, he commits the cardinal sin (for those of you in the American League, the blue jay sin) of not actually cleaning off his entire car.  The hood remained covered, though being blown away by airflow, the snow on the roof rapidly migrating to the rear window, and the Duckmobile probably looked like there was a wedding train trailing behind it, but he's going to be on time.

The interview started out on an ominous note, by mentioning my test results.  In short, the interviewer was afraid that my massive pulsating brain could perhaps be a detriment, the job too boring for one of my vast intellect.  Our Hero quickly made it clear that he would be thrilled with a job like that, as to be blunt he's tired of working in fun and exciting jobs, like retail positions in a world where concepts such as "civility" and "common human decency" don't apply to customer service jobs.  The rest of the interview goes well, though Wonderduck does notice an uncomfortable squelching feeling from his shoes, apparently caused by melting snow.  I should know something by the middle of next week.

So that was a day.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:46 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 555 words, total size 4 kb.

1 Congrats. Let us celebrate your return to the labor force with the ritual consumption of alcohol!

Posted by: Avatar at February 27, 2015 02:00 AM (zJsIy)

2 If it occurs, then yes, the rituals must be observed.  Until then, my hopes, much like my beers, are not being raised.

Do not take this to mean that I disapprove of your gun-jumping in any way, however!

Posted by: Wonderduck at February 27, 2015 02:05 AM (jGQR+)

3 "Overqualified" pfaugh!  Lack of income is a perfect qualification.

But okay, the Kampai's are on hold pending verification.

Posted by: Mauser at February 27, 2015 05:37 AM (TJ7ih)

4 BOOYAH!  Order the beer and greasy cheeseburger, amigo, Daddy's doin' the Time Warp next week.  (Yes, I noted the title.  You're not a Carole King fan, I don't think.)

Posted by: The Old Man at February 27, 2015 06:46 AM (o6+UC)

5 You're not a Carole King fan, I don't think.

I like ketchup as much as the next guy, but no, that wasn't my line of thought. 

Having said that, I love the song Jazzman.  Hell, why not, here it is.  "He can cry like a fallen angel / when rising time is near..."  Baby, gimme chills.

Look, as I was a young fledgeling, Momzerduck was definitely what might be today called a sandal-wearing granola-eater, at least as far as music went.  Carole King, James Taylor, CSN, Carly Simon, Cat Stevens, Harry Chapin, all that sort of stuff lived on the turntable.  So while I might not be a fan, per se, it's not like I don't have a solid background in the stuff!

Posted by: Wonderduck at February 27, 2015 10:06 AM (jGQR+)

6 I've been trough the "you're overqualified and too intelligent for this job" before.  After it happened a couple of times, the HR director told me that HR departments would consider me a problem area because I would expect proper reward and treatment for my work, and I would probably deserve it because I would work harder then most of the people they usually hired.  It would create hard feelings all around and they would have to let me go.  The bottom line is, if they were convinced I had high expectations and was a strong self-motivator, then I wouldn't fit in.

Of course, that could have been to just make me feel better, too.
Don't know if hearing that helps or hurts, but it's intellectually fascinating.

Posted by: Ben at February 27, 2015 11:27 AM (DRaH+)

7 Good luck!

Posted by: Siergen at February 27, 2015 04:16 PM (ohSuC)

8 Rooting for ya!

Posted by: Suburbanbanshee at February 28, 2015 10:32 PM (ZJVQ5)

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