June 11, 2015
A couple of weeks ago, an e-mail came through my inbox. It was from the company that interviewed me back in March, and turned me down for a position because I apparently had a giant pulsating brain. They didn't want giant pulsating brains on staff for fear they'd be bored with the job. They were looking for more staff, and would I be interested in re-interviewing? I failed to see what the point would be since I hadn't gotten much stupider in a couple of months, but it's not like dozens of other companies were beating down my door... and maybe if I drooled on myself during the interview, I could convince them that I was what they were looking for.
This was actually when I took a weekend off, by the way. Part of the laundry I got done was my bestest dress shirt, don'tchaknow. A couple of days later, I found myself at the job location attempting to look like a well-dressed simpleton. I'm not entirely convinced I managed to pull off either of those two things, but at least I was wearing a suit and tie. That matched. Intentionally! After I had been standing in the reception area for a few minutes, my interviewer popped up and I felt a moment of growing hope: it wasn't the person that had interviewed me in March. After we chatted for maybe ten minutes, doing the usual interview routine ("oh, you were a paid assassin? Interesting... would you have problems doing office work?"), the moment I had feared came to pass. She looked at her notes and said "You're very smart."
If I had managed to keep that hidden up to this point in the interview, my response pretty much blew the camouflage right off. "That's what the tests say, at any rate." I then gave a short speech on how I felt that I had lost my chance at the previous position because of my giant pulsating brain, and that I wanted to assure her that it really wouldn't be a problem. And then she said the magic words: "I agree. My team does different, more difficult tasks. Being smart isn't a drawback, because I can train you on more things."
So there I was, asleep. Peacefully, blissfully, sleepily asleep. Totally asleep. And then, at 854am, everything changed. Because at 854am, my cellphone rang. It was the head of Human Resources at the place I had interviewed, saying those words I'd almost given up on ever hearing again: "we think you'd be a great fit with us and would like to offer you a position in our company." I start June 22nd.
Posted by: Mauser at June 12, 2015 02:39 AM (TJ7ih)
Posted by: HC at June 12, 2015 03:16 AM (7TaEk)
God bless - and if I can help you have 2 or 3 ways to get a message to me.
THE DUCK DRIVES ON!!
Posted by: The Old Man at June 12, 2015 06:11 AM (o6+UC)
Posted by: Ben at June 12, 2015 07:09 AM (S4UJw)
Will you be moving?
Posted by: Steven Den Beste at June 12, 2015 07:22 AM (+rSRq)
Posted by: GreyDuck at June 12, 2015 07:43 AM (/zxpg)
Posted by: JT at June 12, 2015 07:59 AM (iStSI)
Posted by: Mitch H. at June 12, 2015 08:58 AM (jwKxK)
Posted by: Will at June 12, 2015 09:30 AM (NHaQU)
Not just a job, but some hope that it will be a more appropriate job than the first opening, and worth the wait...
Posted by: Ad absurdum per aspera at June 12, 2015 10:11 AM (470Py)
And as The Old Man says, maybe now I don't have to keep looking worriedly over my shoulder quite as much.
Posted by: ReallyBored at June 12, 2015 10:41 AM (ulGxe)
In fact, this job is even closer to Pond Central than the Duck U Bookstore! It's maybe two miles away, instead of roughly four.
Posted by: Wonderduck at June 12, 2015 10:48 AM (jGQR+)
Posted by: Pete Zaitcev at June 12, 2015 10:53 AM (RqRa5)
Posted by: David at June 12, 2015 11:20 AM (dr1tX)
I know the start date was probably chosen because June 22 is a Monday, but I am amused that you will be starting on the anniversary of Operation Barbarossa.
Posted by: cxt217 at June 12, 2015 12:28 PM (dzsuJ)
Good luck, Duck.
Posted by: topmaker at June 12, 2015 12:57 PM (i0rVe)
To great employment for the Motherland! Stalin's whiskers, guide my path!
Posted by: Wonderduck at June 12, 2015 02:10 PM (jGQR+)
Posted by: Rick C at June 12, 2015 03:00 PM (ECH2/)
Posted by: jon spencer at June 12, 2015 06:13 PM (JSYPT)
Posted by: flatdarkmars at June 12, 2015 07:26 PM (riGxn)
Posted by: Siergen at June 12, 2015 08:55 PM (Evmuu)
And as a bonus, it seems they have a functioning HR department, since they remembered you, called you back in when they had a suitable opening, and were smart enough to hire you.
Posted by: Pixy Misa at June 12, 2015 09:26 PM (2yngH)
Wow, I'm late to the party. Congrats!
One of those "thank God for unanswered prayers" things, if this job is better for you than the previous one you were too Brainiac for.
Posted by: Mikeski at June 12, 2015 10:39 PM (/KkcU)
Pixy, miracles do occur, I suppose!
Mikeski, you're not wrong. Though I'd've been happy to be doing the less exciting job because, quite honestly, there's a checkbook here in front of my keyboard that begins weeping every time my hand comes near it...
Posted by: Wonderduck at June 12, 2015 10:47 PM (jGQR+)
Posted by: Tom Tjarks at June 13, 2015 08:05 AM (J0lM9)
Posted by: Peter the Not-so-Great at June 13, 2015 02:15 PM (dzzLh)
Posted by: Suburbanbanshee at June 13, 2015 02:55 PM (ZJVQ5)
Posted by: Riktol at June 15, 2015 12:32 PM (MQZN9)
Mad congrats and all that. Don't confuse your day-job for who you really are. "My country: right or wrong" is about as apposite as "my wife: drunk or sober." I want "Our Wonderduck, clocked in or out."
Posted by: Clayton Barnett at June 19, 2015 09:10 AM (lU4ZJ)
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