October 16, 2014

That was 90 minutes ago, and I'm going back to sleep. However, I can honestly say that I've learned something: once people get something in their minds, they'll never believe it isn't true, particularly when you present them with facts. Perhaps especially when you present them with facts.
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October 13, 2014

Yep, that's right about my speed, even at my best. Well, that's not entirely the case, but in comparison to Marty Suspenders, I was the flash left on the sprue. Anyway, while I was adding the kits to my Amazon basket, along with the usual accoutrements required for such an endeavor, it struck me... I didn't need to order this from Amazon, there's a place in Duckford that likely has it all! So it was with a giddy step and a goofy smile on my face I galumphed my way through the rain to my car. From there, the destination was clear... ROYAL HOBBY!
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October 12, 2014
*LIGHTS OUT: We'd come to discover two things about the Sochi Autodrom during practice and qualifying. First, the track was quite difficult to pass on, and second, it was ridiculously easy on tires. That meant most cars would be making one pit stop, taking any strategy relating to the pits out of the game. It also meant that Mercedes Nico Rosberg would be desperate to lead his teammate Lewis Hamilton after the first real turn, Turn 2. When the race began, Rosberg pushed his teammate hard as they ran down the front "straight," and it looked like he might be able to pull off an amazingly important pass. Then he waited just a little too long and braked a lot too hard, front tires smoking like a Grateful Dead concert without the twenty-minute guitar solo. He wound up going off-track, rejoining in the lead, but having to give the position up because of the track limit violation. Almost as soon as his team told him to surrender the lead to Hamilton, Rosberg reported that he had to pit due to massive vibrations. Entirely unsurprising, considering that he had squared off his front tires. This he duly did at the end of the first lap, falling all the way down to 20th, ahead of only Felipe Massa, who pitted a few moments later. As Rosberg waded back into the fray, he asked the pitlane what the tire strategy was going to be. The reply couldn't have been what he wanted to hear: "We think you need to go the rest of the race on this set, Nico." Fifty-two laps on a single set of medium tires.
*MEANWHILE: Up at the front of the pack, Hamilton was dominating the rest of the field with the heartless precision of a scientist pouring molten aluminum into anthills. Farther and farther ahead he pulled, until he was able to make his only pitstop and not lose first place. And that's the way things ended up, with Hamilton leading the rest of the field home unchallenged save for the first lap.
*BUT...: That's not to say that behind him, amazing things weren't occurring. Rosberg, admittedly in the best car on track, began to haul himself up the field, making the mediums work without visibly stressing them in any way. At one point, McLaren driver Jenson Button was told that Rosberg was apparently going to go the whole way on one set of tires, and the disbelief in his voice was apparent. As the pit stops came and went, he jumped farther and farther up the grid, ending up in third behind the Williams Valtteri Bottas as he tried to get his new tires warmed up. It took a couple of laps for the Merc to dispose of the upstart, but it happened soon enough, putting an exclamation mark on the day's proceedings, if he could keep his tires fresh.
*THE END: When the entirety of the day's excitement is wondering if someone's tires were going to last 53 laps, you know the race wasn't great. It wasn't. Rosberg pulled off the "impossible" task, ending up 15 seconds behind in second with tires that looked liked they could go another ten laps easy. Bottas was five seconds adrift in third. Hamilton was handed the winner's trophy by Vladimir Putin, and the day's events came to an end.
*DRIVER OF THE RACE: Nico Rosberg. Yes, the problem was one of his own making, but the recovery drive he performed today was pretty darn impressive. 20th to 2nd, making one sent of tires go 52 laps in the process? Yup, that works.
*TEAM OF THE RACE: Mercedes clinched the Constructor's Championship today, barring penalties from nefarious wrongdoings of course. Yup, that's a good season.
*MOMENT OF THE RACE:

That was the race, right there.
*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:
"Well. That was easy, wasn't it?" - Lewis Hamilton
"Shut up." - Nico Rosberg
"I can't believe I shook that guy's friggin' hand." - Valtteri Bottas, Finn
"Well, that wasn't a bad day at all." - Jenson Button (note: real quote)
"It was like a chilled-out Sunday drive." - Kevin Magnussen (note: real quote. This is not a good way to describe a race)
The Blundering Herd moves on to Austin in two weeks! Halloween weekend in Texas, y'all! See ya then!
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October 11, 2014
Yesterday, I said that "I fully expect that Mercedes will be the class of the field (as usual), but it'll be whichever one of them that's running last that'll get the pole." That's exactly what happened, but I didn't say "whoever is on track last will have a shot." Because that, too, is exactly what happened as Valtteri Bottas went purple (aka "fastest of the session") in the first two sectors. Only a lockup going into Turn 17 and a fuzzy exit from the last turn cost him pole.
His teammate, Felipe Massa, had a fuel feed problem and couldn't make it out of Q1. Expect to see quite the melee going into the first real turn as it's quite possible that Bottas, who has started very well this year, could insert himself into the argument for the lead.
Race in the morning... might be boring, might not! We'll find out together!
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October 10, 2014

The Sochi Autodrom, home of the Grand Prix of All the Russias, has proven my predictions both wrong and right. I suggested earlier that it was going to be similar to the old circuit at Valencia, and in many ways I was proven correct. The track is quite wide in most places, and despite being run through and around the Olympic Park, the visual setting is usually quite boring... all concrete barriers and catch fencing.

Usually. The amusement park in the background is caught on camera a number of times per lap, lending an almost surreal air to the proceedings. Getting back to the track itself, the pit lane entry is obnoxiously narrow. It looks like it's one car width plus one foot on either side, then barriers. Probably won't be a problem unless there's a breakdown which prevents a car from making it in. Then there'll be a Safety Car / Red flag immediately. Zero tolerance for risk this race, not after last weekend.
In other track news, apparently it's proving to be easy on tires, but hard on fuel consumption. Makes sense; for a street circuit, an astonishing large percentage of it is spent at full throttle. It's the "easy on tires" part that nobody was expecting. New track surfaces are usually quite green and slippery, but at least for now, that's not the case. The truth of the matter is that the surface will evolve all weekend as more and more tire rubber is laid down; F1 tires love running on F1 tire rubber. If they could make a track out of Pirelli rubber, you'd have drivers ripping their own heads off from the gees in the turns. I fully expect that Mercedes will be the class of the field (as usual), but it'll be whichever one of them that's running last that'll get the pole. Rubber on the track makes that much difference.
Finally, Marussia has decided to run only one car on Sunday. They got to the circuit, built up both Max Chilton's and Jules Bianchi's chassis, then submitted them both to scrutineering for approval. Both were approved, and it was assumed that young American driver Alexander Rossi would be in Bianchi's car for the race, but no. Instead, the team went to the Delegates and formally withdrew the car. This is quite the gesture. It takes time to put a car together "from scratch" as it were, like they would have to do for Bianchi's chassis. The intention is to keep the car in the garage on jackstands with the door open, as if they're just waiting for Bianchi to walk in and jump in.

Every driver and car are emblazoned with stickers of support for the critically injured French driver, reading either "Tours avec Jules", "#JB17" or "#ForzaJules". Many of the GP2 drivers and teams are doing the same; he was third in that series in 2010 and 2011, and is apparently quite popular with them still.

Qualifying in the morning. We'll see you then.
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October 08, 2014
I already know the answer to that last one, by the way.

Morning, and Ms Fortune is looking... well, cute. Too bad she's a walking disaster area, causing death and destruction where ever she goes. Without knowing it, even. If the people of the East high school ever figured out what was going on, they'd have to find a way to end her. But how do you dispose of someone who causes horrible things to occur around her? You're just as likely to end up being turned into a turnip than succeed in your mission. Besides, she's cute.

Being cute (and oblivious), she's got a cute idea... she's going to make a bento for Our Hero! Shaga wonders what the protocol is for burying a cousin, because dear god, he's gonna die. That's the only result possible. If he's lucky, the end will come quickly... though with his uncommonly quick healing factor, he's likely to live through the entire thing. Ms Fortune skips away to prepare the Death Lunch, and...

...passes the Student Council President from the West high school. Well. That's odd... one might even suggest it's totally unprecedented in the world Ben-To! inhabits.. Shaga spies on her as she walks by, as the horrible sounds of a car accident pierce the air. Later that day...

...Shiraume Ume, the previously mentioned Prez, decks Our Hero and walks away, without even asking permission the way she normally does. Ooh, someone's pissed. He gets up and makes it to the Half-Price Association's clubroom...

...oh hell. The bento is there, waiting, and there's no way he can dodge it. Still, it looks really good...

Oh the humanity.
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The music is catchy, but its the dance moves that makes the group stand out. As an added bonus, their front man, Genki Sudo, is a retired mixed martial arts / kickboxing fighter.
As you can imagine, their live show appears to be quite impressive. To the point where I've found myself weeping tears of amazement and regret.
If I hadn't failed in grad school, I could have been doing lighting designs like this. Or not. Who knows? There were tears, let's leave it at that.
Ben-To! Ep09 is forthcoming ASAP.
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October 07, 2014
So, the good news is that it appears Bianchi's helmet wasn't penetrated during the wreck. The unfortunate news is that, as a result, nobody knows just what's wrong, exactly. Prognosis for DAI is usually quite bad... however, readers of this blog actually are familiar with at least one person who have recovered from from this same type of injury: Richard Hammond, "Hamster", one of the presenters from Top Gear. When he rolled the jet dragster and wound up with his head dragging along at 230mph, he suffered a DAI as well. He woke up after five days, and had a complete recovery except for a new taste for celery.
Now, for the elephant in the room. Very late Sunday night/early Monday morning, amateur video of Bianchi's wreck surfaced. Shot from across the track with a pretty decent zoom lens, it shows nearly everything one could possibly want to see except for how the accident began. Under normal circumstances, I would embed the video and leave it at that, but this is a special situation; it's graphic and unsettling and I wouldn't want anybody to watch it who didn't make the decision to do so themselves. So instead, I'm going to link to the video at liveleak, and a very good quality gif. Watch either one, but do understand that they should probably be considered NSFL. I know my stomach got really tight when I first saw it, but I made the decision to do so for the readers of my F1U!s. I was also struck by the irony that the thing that likely kept Bianchi alive was that the recovery vehicle had Sutil's Sauber "on the hook", thus moving the center of gravity forward and allowing for some amount of swivel when the Marussia hit. Of course, if Sutil hadn't've wrecked, the recovery vehicle wouldn't have been where it was, but that's beside the point. As it is, he had quite a bit of speed going at impact (someone over at reddit calculated it at around 95mph), so if he hit the tire barrier instead it would have been a nasty accident anyway... but not as bad as what we ended up with.
The teams have moved on to Sochi. More news as it becomes available.
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October 06, 2014

There's a distinct whiff of Valencia here, in that it's a "street circuit" that winds through the Olympic Village, but without any of the drama of an actual street circuit like Monaco or even Singapore. This video makes it fairly clear that it's a Hermann Tilke design, full of flow-killing right-angle turns. To the circuit's credit, Turns 01, 11 and 12 seem like they'll be more suggestions than actual turns, at least in a F1 car. The big horseshoe left-hander promises to be a real neck-stretcher, though how good it'll be for racing is another question. Turn 02 will probably be the big passing zone, with 06 and 13 earning marks in that category as well... at least, just by looking at the map.
It's a wide track, though not so immense as Valencia, where you could put four cars side by side and have room left over. With concrete barriers right up against the track, one wanders offline at one's peril. The guess is that the asphalt will be smooth and slick, which is why Pirelli is bringing the Soft and Medium compounds for tire choices; it'll give good performance without being too conservative... unless the surface was secretly made out of ground glass and razor blades.
Basically the circuit will come down to how hard the right-angle turns are on the actual racing. Fortunately for us, the good zeks of the Legendary Announce Team will be bringing us their usual sterling commentary on the following schedule:
FRIDAY
Practice 2: 5am - 630am live
SATURDAY
Quals: 6am - 730am live
SUNDAY
Grand Prix of Russia: 530am - 8am live
One interesting bit of news regarding the race... teams are not going to be allowed to bring in any upgrades. Not by FIA regulations, but because of the ongoing embargo against Russia regarding the ongoing mess in Ukraine. The teams can bring their stuff from Japan, but spare parts from, say, Woking, are banned. We'll see how that works out. See you this weekend!
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October 05, 2014
*LIGHTS... UM... ER...: The circuit was so wet that the race began behind the Safety Car, the field rolling off in grid order... and that's the way they stayed for two laps, save for Marcus Ericsson spinning his Caterham off at the end of the first lap. He resumed at the back of the field. At the end of the second orbit of the track, the expected Red Flag was thrown, bringing the proceedings to a halt. Unexpectedly, the field lined up behind the Safety Car in the pit lane instead of the grid, sending pundits everywhere scrambling for the FIA rulesbook. It turns out there are circumstances where this can be a thing, the teams brought out the gazebos and umbrellas, and we settled in for the latest installment of Rain Delay Theatre. It became a guessing game, wondering if the FIA Weather Llama, Pedro, had figured what the typhoon was doing.


*BOTH OF YOU, RACE LIKE YOU WANT TO WIN!: As has been the routine this season, the two Mercedes drivers, polesitter Nico Rosberg and Hamilton in 2nd, decided they wanted to be alone and immediately drove away from the rest of the field. Indeed, at one point they were going faster on full wet tires than the rest of the field, most of whom had switched to Inters as soon as possible. By Lap 25, the two were about 18 seconds ahead of then-third place Jenson Button. Finally, on Lap 29, Hamilton made his move, passing Rosberg on the outside of Turn 1 in a lovely example of car control and knowing exactly where the limits of traction were.
*RUN TO THE END: After both drivers put on new Inters, Hamilton began to pull away, creating a seven second gap back to his teammate, which is where it basically stayed. However, ominous signs were in the air. On Lap 40, the pit wall called out to both their drivers, warning them that the rain was coming. Hamilton pointed out that it was already here, particularly in the first turn. A couple of laps later, Jenson Button stopped for full wet tires, an indication of how bad it was getting out there.
*GRIM REMINDER: If you've read The Pond since Saturday, you know what happened next. Adrian Sutil aquaplaned off at Turn 7, the same turn that HWMNBN had his Ferrari die. A hard shunt ended the Sauber driver's day, and the recovery vehicle trundled out to extract the broken car from the tire wall. A lap later, the Marussia of Jules Bianchi aquaplaned off in the exact same spot as Sutil, jumped the curb, flew mostly over the gravel trap, and went under the recovery vehicle.
The Safety Car was called out , and was immediately passed on-track by the Medical Car. After the field was picked up by Berndt Maylander, another red flag was thrown, and as the rain continued to pelt down, the sun dipped closer to the horizon, and an ambulance took to the cirucit, the race was halted. Hamilton led Rosberg, Seb Vettel, Daniel Ricciardo, Jenson Button, Valterri Bottas, Felipe Massa, Nico Hulkenberg, Jules Vergne, and Sergio Perez across the metaphorical line.
*DRIVER OF THE RACE: Lewis Hamilton. In a season where the Mercedes has been the dominant car, Hamilton actually had to drive in today's bad-then-okay-then-bad conditions, and served notice that Rosberg is going to have to beat him for the championship. After today, one gets the feeling that that isn't going to happen.
*TEAM OF THE RACE: An honorable mention to McLaren, who made all the right calls today and, if the race hadn't've been red flagged, could have had a podium. But the team of the race goes to Mercedes. Another 1-2 finish, tough but fair driving on track, and the realization that there's no reason to wreck each other. A good change from earlier in the season.
*MOMENT OF THE RACE: Considering the pall it put over the rest of the event, Bianchi's crash gets the nod.
*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTE OF THE RACE:
"Everything that happened with the racing on track is secondary today, one of us is in a bad shape and we don't yet know how he is. Jules had a bad accident and we hope to have some very good news, very soon. Not knowing what's going on feels terrible, I think all the drivers really feel with him, as we know how difficult and slippery it was today; we hope for the very best." - Sebastian Vettel, speaking for all of us.
Next weekend, the F1 Circus moves to Sochi for the inaugural Grand Prix of Russia. We'll see you then.
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There was no on-screen footage of the accident shown. The first inkling that there was any problem was when the Safety Car was called out. What the Legendary Announce Team (as did SKY and BBC's teams) missed was that as the Safety Car pulled out, it was closely followed, and rapidly passed by, the Medical Car. Bianchi's car was seriously damaged, showing a lot of deformity around the cockpit; a few inches worth of the airbox/roll hoop behind the driver's head were missing. It's unsure if it was removed by the extraction team or by the impact. Either way, the left-side sidepod was crushed, and Bianchi suffered exactly the type of accident we've all feared... one that apparently defeated the crash structure of the car. For those who might want to see the situation, I have included a photo behind the SPOILER tag. There is no gore, but it is still somewhat disturbing. Your call.
Bianchi was taken to the Suzuka medical center, then to Mie General Hospital via ambulance. While the usual routine is to use the medical helicopter, it appears that the size of the ambulance, allowing more medical personnel to attend to the stricken driver, caused the change in procedure. Once at the hospital, a CT scan showed the extent of the severe head injury and surgery took place immediately. As of roughly 12noon Sunday, Pond Central Time, Bianchi is out of surgery and taken to ICU, where he is reportedly breathing on his own (note: there are now reports saying that he is intubated). Some of the drivers were at the hospital waiting for news.
The F1U! crew asks our readers to send happy thoughts in the direction of Japan today. It may not do any good, but it won't hurt either.
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The race organizers, Honda (yes, that Honda... they own the track), really dropped the ball on this one. They were given the opportunity twice to start the race earlier, as much as four hours earlier... and turned it down. For once, the FIA and Bernie E are blameless.
Gazebos covering the cars. Fans are wet and sad looking, despite the rainbow of ponchos.
More as info comes. Race will restart at 1:25am PCT
1:25am PCT: And we're off again, still behind the Safety Car. The teams are saying that there's going to be about 20 minutes without rain. HWMNBN just died on track, he looked immensely peeved with the world as he stalked off-track. Looks like water got into the electronics, maybe.
1:30am PCT: Both Mercs are having problems. Rosberg's telemetry is intermittent, Hamilton's brakes are acting up.
1:45am PCT: At the end of Lap 9, the Safety Car is coming in and the race is (finally) under way. Back if anything happens!
3:13am PCT: The race is red flagged and called off on Lap 44. Marussia's Jules Bianchi was involved in a huge accident at Turn 15 07. Adrian Sutil was involved somehow as well. We never saw it exactly; the BBC says that Sutil slid off in the rain, then when his car was being recovered by a front-end loader, Bianchi crashed at high speed into the loader. Many grim faces, no celebrating on the podium, no champagne. This one I think is really bad. I mean really bad. More info as known or in the morning. Later in the morning, I mean.
3:36am PCT: Jules Bianchi was taken from the circuit by ambulance in an unconscious state. The helicopter couldn't fly due to conditions, but the regs say if an ambulance can get to the nearest hospital in 20 minutes or so, the race can still go on. The hospital in Nagoya is 30 minutes away, apparently, but Bianchi's ambulance has a police escort.

More info in the morning, I've got to pack it in.
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October 04, 2014
More as events warrant.
Less than 20 minutes to racetime, cars are making their way to the grid with huge rooster tails. Buxton is saying the rain is letting up slightly. I now understand why weather forecasters tend to drink a lot.
10 minutes to go, and Lotus is confirming that we'll be starting behind the safety car. That means no formation lap, once they leave, the race starts. Reminder: two laps and half-points are awarded. If they call the race at that point, Nico Rosberg will have a 1/2-point lead in the championship. Cor blimey.
Okay, it looks like it's about that time. I'm going to join the F1U! Analysis Team around the television, but if anything big occurs, I'll be back!
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Just a little bit, yeah.
UPDATE: But all is not clouds!

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This has the potential to be just an ugly race. For example, let's say it doesn't rain (unlikely though that may be)... polesitter Rosberg is a full second ahead of fourth place. If it does rain, the Merc has proven to be fast that way as well. However, no car is fast when the water level on-track is above the level of the front wing.
Much of the concern about the race up until recently hasn't been about the race itself, but about the next one. The way F1 schedules work, teams usually box everything up and are on air-freight Monday headed to the next destination. Problem is, the next destination is Sochi, home of the inaugural Grand Prix of the Soviets Russia next Sunday. With 150mph winds and a storm track that's looking more and more like it'll pass close aboard, air travel is likely to be delayed until Tuesday optimistically. Still, the FIA/Bernie Ecclestone has made the decision: both races will begin at their scheduled times. As Will Buxton, the Legendary Announce Team's voice from the pit lane put it, however, "there's every chance there won't be a race tomorrow."
Which will give us plenty of time to hear about the real bombshell that dropped out of the blue around 4pm Pond Central time. To whit, four-time world driver's champion Sebastian Vettel is leaving Red Bull Racing at the end of the 2014 season. According to team boss Christian Horner, Vettel will be going to Scuderia Ferrari. We're still waiting for confirmation from the Red Team about this, but Vettel confirmed it after Quals today, as well. To take Vettel's place at Red Bull, Kid Kyvat will be promoted from Toro Rosso next year.
HWMNBN is almost certainly leaving Ferrari, and dear god, all signs point to him moving back to McLaren. As you remember, Honda is coming back into F1 in 2015 as the engine manufacturer for McLaren, and they reportedly have zero interest in the current McLaren driver lineup; Button is almost certainly gone. Of course, it's with McLaren that The Spaniard earned his "HWMNBN" monicker, after all. The mind simply boggles at the unlikeliness of that turn of events.
More to come as things shake out. Race is at Midnight, Pond Central time, see ya there! Bring a poncho and umbrella.
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October 03, 2014
Some of the news might even have to do with the race!
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October 02, 2014

Everything seems to be fixed now, so regular service should resume shortly. Don't be totally surprised if things go down while gremlins are stomped on. Thanks for your patience, folks, and all hail Pixy for his efforts on our behalf! A better webmaster/service provider/guy we could not ask for.
Edit: reticulating splines.
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October 01, 2014
I'm not asking you to do anything if you don't want to. However, I am of firm belief that Dredd deserves a good sequel, and if signing the official online petition will help in getting one made, well, there ya go. You know what to do, or don't do, as you will.
Go to www.2000ADonline.com/dreddsequel to sign the official petition today.

Then you will sleep the sleep of the peaceful, for you will not stare into the fist of Dredd today.
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September 30, 2014

The only figure-8 course on the calendar, Suzuka is close to being the perfect blend of fast and slow, the technical and the flat out. All of it attended by the fanatically rabid F1 fans of Japan, Taki Inoue's opinion notwithstanding. We can generally count on some weather showing up, as well... they weren't called the Great Suzuka Boat Races for nothing, after all. This year, though, we get an extra-special dose of weather: volcanoes! Mt Ontake, Japan's second tallest mountain, erupted this past Saturday, killing at least 30 and spewing ash high into the atmosphere. At last check, it's still doing so. Flights into and around Japan have been affected. Suzuka is less than 200km from the volcano, so it's hardly a stretch to imagine ash making it to the track... does one use Inters or full Wets for lava?
In less serious news, our friends in the Legendary Announce Team will be providing coverage on NBCSN all weekend, and the times are even close to being watchable by a human being! Let's take a look:
FRIDAY
12mid - 130am: Practice 2 live
SATURDAY
12mid - 130am: Quals live
1130pm - 2am: 2014 Grand Prix of Japan live.
Yes, that's right, coverage of the race begins Saturday night! I'll surely be staying up to watch all of these... I've gotten used to 2am bedtimes again... so who knows, there might be some liveblogging going on, too. We'll see!
See ya then!
UPDATE: If the volcano bit wasn't enough, there's a typhoon! Typhoon Phanfone is predicted to skirt the eastern coast of Japan over the next six days or so, passing by Suzuka/Nagoya sometime Saturday night or Sunday morning, roughly speaking. When it does, it's predicted to be somewhere in the vicinity of a Category 4, dropping to a Cat 2 by Sunday night.
Maybe there won't BE a Grand Prix of Japan this year...
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September 27, 2014
The sad thing is that the effort required to do either of them seems to be beyond me at the moment. I wanted very much to do one or the other today, and neither occurred... along with, it must be said, anything else. Still, there's always tomorrow. Right?

Right?
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