December 20, 2013
Well THAT Was Unexpected
As I always do... always... I got up at 630am today when my cellphone alarm went off. For the next half-hour, I did the my usual routine: brushed my teef, took a shower, that sort of thing, y'know? As I got out of the shower in the dark (I haven't showered with the lights on in 20-some-odd years... no I don't know why), I noticed a small flash of red light from my cellphone, sitting there on the sink.
This elicited a sigh from me. Such a red light this early in the morning is never good news, as it signifies either a missed call/voicemail or a text message. Perhaps an employee checking in to let me know that they're sick, or a misguided telemarketer, maybe a wayward text from Brickmuppet, or occasionally a weather alert from a local TV station. Well, whatever it was, it could wait a few minutes while I dried off and got dressed. This I accomplished, short of putting on the shirt I'd be wearing into the store that day... fewer wrinklies that way, don'tchaknow? Sitting in front of the computer, I finally took a moment to see what was so important that it deserved my attention at 7am.
It was both a text and a voicemail from Duck U's Alert System. "Due to weather conditions, the Duck U campus and offices are closed today." I... what? As it turns out, the fog/drizzle that was just beginning when I got home Thursday night never actually stopped, and all of Duckford had an unpleasant glaze of ice over it. Heck, even Duckford Mass Transit had taken all their buses off the roads to keep them from, I dunno, ending up inside people's houses or where-ever they'd wind up after an unfortunate skid.
So, after contacting the employee who was to be working with me today and telling her not to come in, telling my boss that we were closed, re-recording the store's voicemail message from home, and double-checking with Duck U security that yep, campus was closed, I finally decided to go see what it was like outside.
Ice. Ice everywhere. Oh, don't get me wrong, it wasn't thick ice... news reports says less than 1/10th of an inch... but you don't need much to turn streets into skating rinks. I didn't even try to head over to the DuckMobile. I could see the sidewalk and parking lot were more appropriate for a Blackhawks game than for driving. With that, I walked back into Pond Central, switched into a pair of sweats and fuzzy slippers, and proceeded to completely enjoy my first not-normal (i.e., not holiday or weekend, not like I've had many of those either) day off in five months.
Unsurprisingly, I did christmas shopping (thank you, Internet!) then took a very long, very needed, nap. Tomorrow is grocery shopping in preparation for our first real snowfall of the season (well, that and I'm out of stuff), and Sunday is laundry day and getting ready to go back to work on Monday, but at least for today, I could do what I wanted... and it was good.
This elicited a sigh from me. Such a red light this early in the morning is never good news, as it signifies either a missed call/voicemail or a text message. Perhaps an employee checking in to let me know that they're sick, or a misguided telemarketer, maybe a wayward text from Brickmuppet, or occasionally a weather alert from a local TV station. Well, whatever it was, it could wait a few minutes while I dried off and got dressed. This I accomplished, short of putting on the shirt I'd be wearing into the store that day... fewer wrinklies that way, don'tchaknow? Sitting in front of the computer, I finally took a moment to see what was so important that it deserved my attention at 7am.
It was both a text and a voicemail from Duck U's Alert System. "Due to weather conditions, the Duck U campus and offices are closed today." I... what? As it turns out, the fog/drizzle that was just beginning when I got home Thursday night never actually stopped, and all of Duckford had an unpleasant glaze of ice over it. Heck, even Duckford Mass Transit had taken all their buses off the roads to keep them from, I dunno, ending up inside people's houses or where-ever they'd wind up after an unfortunate skid.
So, after contacting the employee who was to be working with me today and telling her not to come in, telling my boss that we were closed, re-recording the store's voicemail message from home, and double-checking with Duck U security that yep, campus was closed, I finally decided to go see what it was like outside.
Ice. Ice everywhere. Oh, don't get me wrong, it wasn't thick ice... news reports says less than 1/10th of an inch... but you don't need much to turn streets into skating rinks. I didn't even try to head over to the DuckMobile. I could see the sidewalk and parking lot were more appropriate for a Blackhawks game than for driving. With that, I walked back into Pond Central, switched into a pair of sweats and fuzzy slippers, and proceeded to completely enjoy my first not-normal (i.e., not holiday or weekend, not like I've had many of those either) day off in five months.
Unsurprisingly, I did christmas shopping (thank you, Internet!) then took a very long, very needed, nap. Tomorrow is grocery shopping in preparation for our first real snowfall of the season (well, that and I'm out of stuff), and Sunday is laundry day and getting ready to go back to work on Monday, but at least for today, I could do what I wanted... and it was good.
picture unrelated
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December 19, 2013
RIP Superjock
I don't have heroes, and I never did. I suspect most people my age feel the same way. Why bother? In the end, we always find they have feet of clay. Often enough it turns out a "hero" is really just someone who got lucky one day.
Which is why Larry Lujack wasn't my hero. What he was, however, was the reason I wanted to get into the radio biz. Growing up, his was the voice that got me going in the morning. A deadpan delivery attached to a wickedly dry sense of humor resonated in my young brain, bouncing around and mixing with Monty Python. But even in the depths of my callow youthiness, I could recognize pure genius when I heard it. I don't know when it happened, but somewhere those formative years, I set my sights on being a DJ just like Ol' Unka Lar'.
Unka Lar' was the host of the morning staple on WLS, Animal Stories. I've written about that legendary radio skit a couple of times before, no need to repeat it here. But Lujack was more than a single gag. His "Superjock" persona, "the greatest rock & roll DJ anywhere", was just an act... but it turned out that he may very well have BEEN the greatest. He was honored with membership in the National Radio Hall of Fame in 2004, and the National Association of Broadcasters Hall of Fame in 2008.
Larry Lujack died yesterday at the age of 73 after a year-long fight with esophageal cancer. When I heard the news this morning, I didn't react much until I made it to the Duck U parking lot. Only then did I close my eyes and let a few tears stream down my face. A big piece of my childhood has passed away, and some part of my life is a little darker than it had been.
Which is why Larry Lujack wasn't my hero. What he was, however, was the reason I wanted to get into the radio biz. Growing up, his was the voice that got me going in the morning. A deadpan delivery attached to a wickedly dry sense of humor resonated in my young brain, bouncing around and mixing with Monty Python. But even in the depths of my callow youthiness, I could recognize pure genius when I heard it. I don't know when it happened, but somewhere those formative years, I set my sights on being a DJ just like Ol' Unka Lar'.
Unka Lar' was the host of the morning staple on WLS, Animal Stories. I've written about that legendary radio skit a couple of times before, no need to repeat it here. But Lujack was more than a single gag. His "Superjock" persona, "the greatest rock & roll DJ anywhere", was just an act... but it turned out that he may very well have BEEN the greatest. He was honored with membership in the National Radio Hall of Fame in 2004, and the National Association of Broadcasters Hall of Fame in 2008.
Larry Lujack died yesterday at the age of 73 after a year-long fight with esophageal cancer. When I heard the news this morning, I didn't react much until I made it to the Duck U parking lot. Only then did I close my eyes and let a few tears stream down my face. A big piece of my childhood has passed away, and some part of my life is a little darker than it had been.
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December 16, 2013
Ask Wonderduck (Almost) Anything, The 2013 Edition!
I've done this twice before, and it's been amusing both times, so let's do it again! It's time for the third installment of Ask Wonderduck (Almost) Anything! Here's
how this thing works... you ask a question, and I'll answer it! It's just that
simple! But wait, great news! The best question (in my opinion) will
get a full-length post devoted to the answer!
There are a few questions I won't answer: anything related to current politics or religion. I started The Pond lo these many years ago in an attempt to get away from political or religious squabbles, and to this day I've pretty much managed to stay clear of those things. There are plenty of people out there who write about those topics and do so in ways I couldn't even hope to approach, so go read them for answers to those questions. If you DO ask me a question related to such topics, please expect to be mocked horribly.
Now, if you ask me a technical question ("How do I install a V12 engine into a Smart Fortwo?"), I'll do my best to answer it, but you use said answer at your own risk. And take pictures, please, for the sake of posterity. And humor.
So, without further ado: Ask Wonderduck (Almost) Anything!
There are a few questions I won't answer: anything related to current politics or religion. I started The Pond lo these many years ago in an attempt to get away from political or religious squabbles, and to this day I've pretty much managed to stay clear of those things. There are plenty of people out there who write about those topics and do so in ways I couldn't even hope to approach, so go read them for answers to those questions. If you DO ask me a question related to such topics, please expect to be mocked horribly.
Now, if you ask me a technical question ("How do I install a V12 engine into a Smart Fortwo?"), I'll do my best to answer it, but you use said answer at your own risk. And take pictures, please, for the sake of posterity. And humor.
So, without further ado: Ask Wonderduck (Almost) Anything!
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December 14, 2013
Today Was A Good Day
...except for the whole "going into work on a Saturday" part. I mean, yeah, that was a drag, but it was a successful drag. Like "RuPaul meets Tony Pedragon" successful. I had three major and two minor tasks to accomplish, and had them all done by 5pm, a mere six hours after I got there... not so bad.
Of course, I could have spent another six hours at the store doing stuff... there's easily that much and more to do every day... but I was tired and hurty and hungry and I wanted to be not there anymore. So home I went.
In retrospect, it wasn't really that great of a day. But in comparison to what I've had of late? Today was a good day.
Of course, I could have spent another six hours at the store doing stuff... there's easily that much and more to do every day... but I was tired and hurty and hungry and I wanted to be not there anymore. So home I went.
In retrospect, it wasn't really that great of a day. But in comparison to what I've had of late? Today was a good day.
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December 13, 2013
Well, This All Seems... Horrible.
Buyback Week is over. But guess who'll be going into his Bookstore on Saturday for at least five hours, and probably longer?
Shhhhh... only dreams now...
Yup... yours truly. I'm so exhausted I can barely type.
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December 10, 2013
Oh My Aching... Um... Everything.
I should have known better. Any day that started the way today did deserves to be drowned right at the beginning. I mean, it started with my alarm going off at 615am... that right there makes it a bad day.
It also involved me getting into the shower without a washcloth. But that's okay, because I also didn't have a towel. I managed the rest of the pre-going-to-work routine without incident... even put on my shirt correctly... and headed out into the HOLYCRAPWHERE'DALLTHEHEATGO to get the DuckMobile warmed up.
Walking towards it, I saw there was some small amount of snow covering the right side of the car... y'know, the type that'll blow away the moment you put the car in gear and barely touch the accelerator... so I change course, brush it off with my glitten-covered hands, then begin walking around the rear of the DuckMobile, heading towards the driver's side door.
I'm sure my readers who live in the Midwest may have noticed a small earthquake around 745am central time. I need to apologize for that, as it was my fault. My bad. I rounded the corner of the car, made it about even with the license plate ("WNDRDUK"), when the invisible asphalt weasels reached up and grabbed my ankle. Next thing I know, I'm headed towards the surface of the parking lot at fairly high (and increasing!) velocity.
Left knee hit first, followed by the right knee, my face, and then the rest of me. I'm lying there, spitting out snow and meltysalt, probably looking like a particularly comedic walrus, and all I can say is "ow." Yeah, that's me, Mr Witty Repartee, in the flesh. I haul myself to my feet, get to the driver's door, and where the fsck are my keys? Sure enough, they were lying there, in the middle of the Khumbu Icefall, right where I dropped them during my failed attempt at a gravity turn. Fortunately, my recovery mission did not result in Impact: Parking Lot 2: Electric Boogaloo.
While I drove in to the Duck U Bookstore, I began to realize that I might have done myself some harm. The giveaway was the intense throbbing in my knees, though it was with a sense of relief I noticed no marks on my face... surprising, considering that it felt like I left an imprint of my chin in the concrete. Not because I'm vain about my looks... after all, I know what I look like... but because customers find blood and open wounds to be off-putting.
By the middle of the day, I could feel my left knee stiffening up something fierce. Great, just swell! Then the student came in to sell some books back who decided that since I wasn't offering 200% back on her titles, it was okay to start swearing at me. It's not like I'm unused to that... during Finals week, I'm the most hated duck on campus, after all... but on top of the rest of the day, it was quite the moment.
So eventually the day ended, I limped out to my car, picked up some stuff at the grocery store, came home, and took another header in the Icefall... this time while carrying two cases of soda. It should go without saying that once again my left knee discovered that gravity ain't just a good idea, but the law. The bruise should be amazing.
So here I am, blogging, and I've got to go to bed and do it all over again tomorrow. I love my life and everything about it right now.
It also involved me getting into the shower without a washcloth. But that's okay, because I also didn't have a towel. I managed the rest of the pre-going-to-work routine without incident... even put on my shirt correctly... and headed out into the HOLYCRAPWHERE'DALLTHEHEATGO to get the DuckMobile warmed up.
Walking towards it, I saw there was some small amount of snow covering the right side of the car... y'know, the type that'll blow away the moment you put the car in gear and barely touch the accelerator... so I change course, brush it off with my glitten-covered hands, then begin walking around the rear of the DuckMobile, heading towards the driver's side door.
I'm sure my readers who live in the Midwest may have noticed a small earthquake around 745am central time. I need to apologize for that, as it was my fault. My bad. I rounded the corner of the car, made it about even with the license plate ("WNDRDUK"), when the invisible asphalt weasels reached up and grabbed my ankle. Next thing I know, I'm headed towards the surface of the parking lot at fairly high (and increasing!) velocity.
Left knee hit first, followed by the right knee, my face, and then the rest of me. I'm lying there, spitting out snow and meltysalt, probably looking like a particularly comedic walrus, and all I can say is "ow." Yeah, that's me, Mr Witty Repartee, in the flesh. I haul myself to my feet, get to the driver's door, and where the fsck are my keys? Sure enough, they were lying there, in the middle of the Khumbu Icefall, right where I dropped them during my failed attempt at a gravity turn. Fortunately, my recovery mission did not result in Impact: Parking Lot 2: Electric Boogaloo.
While I drove in to the Duck U Bookstore, I began to realize that I might have done myself some harm. The giveaway was the intense throbbing in my knees, though it was with a sense of relief I noticed no marks on my face... surprising, considering that it felt like I left an imprint of my chin in the concrete. Not because I'm vain about my looks... after all, I know what I look like... but because customers find blood and open wounds to be off-putting.
By the middle of the day, I could feel my left knee stiffening up something fierce. Great, just swell! Then the student came in to sell some books back who decided that since I wasn't offering 200% back on her titles, it was okay to start swearing at me. It's not like I'm unused to that... during Finals week, I'm the most hated duck on campus, after all... but on top of the rest of the day, it was quite the moment.
So eventually the day ended, I limped out to my car, picked up some stuff at the grocery store, came home, and took another header in the Icefall... this time while carrying two cases of soda. It should go without saying that once again my left knee discovered that gravity ain't just a good idea, but the law. The bruise should be amazing.
So here I am, blogging, and I've got to go to bed and do it all over again tomorrow. I love my life and everything about it right now.
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December 07, 2013
Mystery Ship XXVI: Not Much Of A Mystery
No prize for this one, not today (it's not much of a mystery, after all)... but here's the Mystery Ship for y'all!
Brickmuppet, this one's for you. Why am I showing this Coastie as a mystery ship? What's so important?
Remember folks, no cheating!
Brickmuppet, this one's for you. Why am I showing this Coastie as a mystery ship? What's so important?
Remember folks, no cheating!
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December 06, 2013
Work
The Fall semester has come to an end at the Duck U Bookstore... except for Finals week. And when it's Finals Week, that means it's also Buyback week, which means that Wonderduck is going to be in Hell.
Which would be bad, except I've been there all semester. As yet, I still can't get into all the details, but let's just say that I still don't have an assistant manager, and probably never will again. What I also haven't had is another keyholder. Yup... since July 30th, I've been open-to-close every day, minimum 9.5 hours. Minimum. Also five home football games, a few visit days, and quite a few days where I went in on Saturday to get stuff done.
Like I'll be doing tomorrow. Because I've got to get that stuff done before Monday, or we're seriously screwed. But I lost a filling a week-and-change ago, and I can't go get the tooth pulled until I've got another keyholder. I'm doomed. Doomed, I tell you.
I hate working on Saturdays.
Which would be bad, except I've been there all semester. As yet, I still can't get into all the details, but let's just say that I still don't have an assistant manager, and probably never will again. What I also haven't had is another keyholder. Yup... since July 30th, I've been open-to-close every day, minimum 9.5 hours. Minimum. Also five home football games, a few visit days, and quite a few days where I went in on Saturday to get stuff done.
Like I'll be doing tomorrow. Because I've got to get that stuff done before Monday, or we're seriously screwed. But I lost a filling a week-and-change ago, and I can't go get the tooth pulled until I've got another keyholder. I'm doomed. Doomed, I tell you.
I hate working on Saturdays.
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December 04, 2013
To The Mun!
FINALLY!
Sure, maybe everybody else has already managed to get into orbit around Mün, or landed there for that matter, but I never pulled it off. Until tonight, courtesy of my Delta-K rocket, some seat-of-the-spacesuit piloting, and a metric fsckton of luck. Even better, I think I'll have enough go-juice to get Jebediah back, to boot!
The next step? Land on the darned thing, and get back. I think the Delta-K will have the oomph to get the lander up... I hope. I have high hopes.
Sure, maybe everybody else has already managed to get into orbit around Mün, or landed there for that matter, but I never pulled it off. Until tonight, courtesy of my Delta-K rocket, some seat-of-the-spacesuit piloting, and a metric fsckton of luck. Even better, I think I'll have enough go-juice to get Jebediah back, to boot!
The next step? Land on the darned thing, and get back. I think the Delta-K will have the oomph to get the lander up... I hope. I have high hopes.
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December 03, 2013
On One Hand, Yay...
...but on the other, boo. A couple of days ago, one of those things that managed to cause me both excitement and trepidation hit the torrents. See, on the good side, two new Hidamari Sketch OVAs were released. Hurray!
Unlike most entries in the HidaSketch franchise, though, this one came with a seriously dark, gloomy thing that's dark and gloomy. Y'see, the title of this one is "The Sae & Hiro Graduation Arc", and when it ended, so did HidaSketch. So as you can guess, I'm of seriously mixed feelings about this.
I mean, really, it's a great way to wrap up this wonderful series that's given me so much joy over the past six years, four series, 11 special episodes, and soon to be seven manga volumes. But then, it's also wrapping up this wonderful series that's given me so much joy over the past blah blah blah yammer yammer yammer natter natter natter. There's no surprises in these episodes; Sae & Hiro make it into their respective schools, tears are shed, smiles are had, heartstrings are tugged, and it all ends with a duck.
Well, not really. But it should have!
It's a fractionally darker existence now, knowing that there won't be any new HidaSketch in the future.
Unlike most entries in the HidaSketch franchise, though, this one came with a seriously dark, gloomy thing that's dark and gloomy. Y'see, the title of this one is "The Sae & Hiro Graduation Arc", and when it ended, so did HidaSketch. So as you can guess, I'm of seriously mixed feelings about this.
I mean, really, it's a great way to wrap up this wonderful series that's given me so much joy over the past six years, four series, 11 special episodes, and soon to be seven manga volumes. But then, it's also wrapping up this wonderful series that's given me so much joy over the past blah blah blah yammer yammer yammer natter natter natter. There's no surprises in these episodes; Sae & Hiro make it into their respective schools, tears are shed, smiles are had, heartstrings are tugged, and it all ends with a duck.
Well, not really. But it should have!
It's a fractionally darker existence now, knowing that there won't be any new HidaSketch in the future.
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November 30, 2013
Now It All Makes Sense!
I've figured out what happened to Comet ISON!
I really didn't mean to do this. Billy-Bob Kerman was doing an EVA... for SCIENCE!... and apparently the orbit of the Delta K's capsule dipped just a smidge too far into the atmosphere.
It became clear that this was a very shallow re-entry... indeed, I must have just barely brushed the actual atmosphere because Billy-Bob fell forever. In fact, as soon as the flame went out, the wind vortexes appeared, and that's NEVER happened to me before, on any reentry.
On the plus side, however, I discovered what happened to Comet ISON... which is nice. Comet Billy-Bob must've looked beautiful from ground level.
Gosh, I love KSP.
I really didn't mean to do this. Billy-Bob Kerman was doing an EVA... for SCIENCE!... and apparently the orbit of the Delta K's capsule dipped just a smidge too far into the atmosphere.
The Delta K... looks familiar, eh?
I swear, I was just as shocked as Billy-Bob when he slowly drifted away from the capsule. It didn't take long for the inevitable to occur, while I sadly watched, realizing this meant the mission was a failure. And that I'd have to hire a new kerbalnaut.It became clear that this was a very shallow re-entry... indeed, I must have just barely brushed the actual atmosphere because Billy-Bob fell forever. In fact, as soon as the flame went out, the wind vortexes appeared, and that's NEVER happened to me before, on any reentry.
On the plus side, however, I discovered what happened to Comet ISON... which is nice. Comet Billy-Bob must've looked beautiful from ground level.
Gosh, I love KSP.
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Battle of Midway: AMA!
Over at Reddit, in the "warshipporn" subreddit, I'm doing an "Ask Me Anything" on the Battle of Midway. Feel free to stop by and ask anything you've wondered about!
I haven't done anything MilHist related in a while, so c'mon over!
I haven't done anything MilHist related in a while, so c'mon over!
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November 29, 2013
Black Friday 2013
So I went out into the ravening hordes today.
The roads were clogged. God help you if you were heading east (towards the mall), you were doomed. After seeing that, any thought I might have had about doing anything more than grocery shopping was immediately garroted by ninjas. Now that I've returned, put away my food, and had lunch, I do believe it's time for a nap.
Because I can. Because I don't work on Black Friday anymore. And don't think I'm not happy about that... too often it felt very much like this:
I know, it's not the same "Black Friday", but any chance to get Steely Dan on here.
It's the first time I've left my apartment on the Day after Thanksgiving in... I dunno, nine years? Hey, I've done my time in Hell already, why would I willingly walk into it again if I didn't have to? As it is, I've done seven or eight Black Fridays in my retail career, including five in malls. Nope, that's plenty, thanks. But I went out to the grocery store today, and while the supermarket was fine, maybe even a little slower than normal on a Friday, the traffic on the roads was ridiculous! I live in the vicinity of the big mall in the area, but not exactly right next door or anything.The roads were clogged. God help you if you were heading east (towards the mall), you were doomed. After seeing that, any thought I might have had about doing anything more than grocery shopping was immediately garroted by ninjas. Now that I've returned, put away my food, and had lunch, I do believe it's time for a nap.
Because I can. Because I don't work on Black Friday anymore. And don't think I'm not happy about that... too often it felt very much like this:
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November 28, 2013
Thanksgiving 2013: Om Nom Nom!
There's only one word to describe my physical state right now: burp. Anti-clockwise from below-left of the duck is... mashed potatoes made with sour cream and cream cheese, the most tender turkey I've ever eaten, broccoli with lingonberry on them, crescent rolls, stuffing, peas, and The Old Home Pond's Official Holiday Foodstuff, corn souffle.
Cranberry sauce, more mashed potatoes, more TOHPOHF and more turkey was the second helping, eventually followed by pie.
It was a good meal. Yes indeed. Even if The Old Home Pond's new kitten, nicknamed "demon kitty" by me from the one picture I had seen, didn't come out to play. I was looking forward to that, alas!
I do hope you and yours, honored readers, had a good holiday and/or Thursday!
There's only one word to describe my physical state right now: burp. Anti-clockwise from below-left of the duck is... mashed potatoes made with sour cream and cream cheese, the most tender turkey I've ever eaten, broccoli with lingonberry on them, crescent rolls, stuffing, peas, and The Old Home Pond's Official Holiday Foodstuff, corn souffle.
Cranberry sauce, more mashed potatoes, more TOHPOHF and more turkey was the second helping, eventually followed by pie.
It was a good meal. Yes indeed. Even if The Old Home Pond's new kitten, nicknamed "demon kitty" by me from the one picture I had seen, didn't come out to play. I was looking forward to that, alas!
I do hope you and yours, honored readers, had a good holiday and/or Thursday!
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Thanksgiving 2013
I'm tellin' ya, I'm so busy I don't even have a duck photo for Turkey Day yet. Later this evening, probably. Still, for all of you and yours, have a Happy Thanksgiving! Or, for my overseas readers, have a great Thursday!
I'm tellin' ya, I'm so busy I don't even have a duck photo for Turkey Day yet. Later this evening, probably. Still, for all of you and yours, have a Happy Thanksgiving! Or, for my overseas readers, have a great Thursday!
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November 25, 2013
KSP AOK!
I'm a space geek. This should come as no surprise to many of my readers. So when Kerbal Space Program (aka KSP) proved to be ridiculously popular, I jumped into it with both feet. It's challenging.
More often than not, this is the result of one of my launches. Or something similar, at least. Sometimes it's a staging error: it's generally quite bad to deploy your parachute during takeoff, for example. Sometimes it's just a conceptual error: if one solid-fuel booster is good, eight must be eight times as good! But sometimes... sometimes, it's something like neglecting to cross-brace things together. Who knew that could matter?
Then you realize you're feeling a sense of triumph. When was the last time a video game made you feel like that?
It's a helluva game, KSP is. I daresay it has The Right Stuff.
More often than not, this is the result of one of my launches. Or something similar, at least. Sometimes it's a staging error: it's generally quite bad to deploy your parachute during takeoff, for example. Sometimes it's just a conceptual error: if one solid-fuel booster is good, eight must be eight times as good! But sometimes... sometimes, it's something like neglecting to cross-brace things together. Who knew that could matter?
"Wonderduck make big boom."
But every now and again, despite all odds and logic, things go right. The pointy end stays pointed towards space, the big noisy end keeps pointing down, and the little green-guy-in-a-can doesn't panic too much.Then you realize you're feeling a sense of triumph. When was the last time a video game made you feel like that?
It's a helluva game, KSP is. I daresay it has The Right Stuff.
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November 24, 2013
F1 Update!: Brazil 2013
There were low grey skies hovering above Autodromo Jose Carlos Pace at Interlagos as the samba line known as the F1 Circus made its way to the starting grid, but the track surface was still dry. It surely wouldn't stay that way, though. THIS is your F1U! for the 2013 Grand Prix of Brazil!
*RACE: Once the lights went out and the Thundering Herd charged down to Turn 1, we had the amazing sight of someone other than 4Time Vettel leading the race. Both Vettel and his teammate, Mark Webber, had less-than-optimal starts. This opened the door for both Nico Rosberg and Ferrari's HWMNBN to make runs at the Driver's Champion. Rosberg got past, HWMNBN did not, but gave Vettel something of a scare through the Senna S complex. It didn't last long, and neither did Rosberg's lead. He did officially lead the first lap though, so that's nice for him. Shortly thereafter, Vettel's RB9 blew past him on the straight and it became a normal 2013 race again.
*AND THEN: On Lap 3, something distinctly abnormal occurred.
It's been long enough since the last comprehensive engine kablammo that we here at F1U! can't remember when it was. In this case, the Renault RS27 of Lettuce Grosjean's Lotus let go, killing every mosquito in São Paolo. Fortunately, he did not lay down an oil slick, nor did the immense amount of smoke released block vision for very long. We here at F1U! remember when we'd see this scene every couple of races...
*OTHER THAN THAT?: The rain didn't come. Everybody was looking to the heavens, trying to figure out when they'd open up. Every driver was told to protect his tires as much as possible, so to keep that first pitstop at bay until it rained. The thinking, quite logically, was that those who couldn't keep the tires alive would be at a disadvantage if they stopped before the rains came, as they'd have to stop again for rain tires. But the rains didn't come, and the looks of confusion up and down the pit lane were plain to see. "Wait, it was supposed to rain... now what do we do?" It got so bad that when the second round of stops occurred, it still hadn't rained and Red Bull completely peed theirs down their legs. Vettel came in, the team took his tires off... but they didn't have new tires for him, they had Webber's out and waiting. In the time it took them to run into the garage and grab them, Webber came in and was forced to "stack" behind his younger teammate. Clearly the two were supposed to pit in the opposite order. This cost Vettel about six-to-eight seconds of lead time, though it hardly mattered.
*FINALLY: Drops of rain began to appear on the on-board cameras with around 10 laps to go, but still the skies refused to drop The Great Equalizer upon the circuit. The Legendary Announce Team tried to play it up as if the track had become "greasy," but the lack of fishtailing and drifting proved them wrong. We don't doubt that the traction was somewhat less than perfect, but it wasn't that bad either. Then, a few laps later, the inevitable occurred: 4Time Vettel swept across the finish line. He led his retiring teammate by 10 seconds, followed by HWMNBN another nine seconds back.
*LOOKING AROUND: Vettel won every race since the Summer Break, nine in a row. This is the first time any driver ever has won nine races in a row in a single season. He won 13 out of 19 races on the season (tying him with Slappy Schumacher for the most in a season), and 10 out of the last 11. He scored more points alone (397) than the next closest team (Mercedes, 360). He scored 83.58% of the maximum points possible Only Mercedes and Red Bull scored pole positions all season.
*AND THUS: The 2013 season has come to an end, and with it the V8 engine era. Next March will see the return of turbocharging, though perched on V6 engines. Well, it'll be different, that's for sure. F1U! may come back, too... only time will tell. Thank you for reading, and we'll see you in 2014!
*OH, AND THIS: The last two episodes of McLaren's Tooned:
So that's how they dealt with Hamilton!
*RACE: Once the lights went out and the Thundering Herd charged down to Turn 1, we had the amazing sight of someone other than 4Time Vettel leading the race. Both Vettel and his teammate, Mark Webber, had less-than-optimal starts. This opened the door for both Nico Rosberg and Ferrari's HWMNBN to make runs at the Driver's Champion. Rosberg got past, HWMNBN did not, but gave Vettel something of a scare through the Senna S complex. It didn't last long, and neither did Rosberg's lead. He did officially lead the first lap though, so that's nice for him. Shortly thereafter, Vettel's RB9 blew past him on the straight and it became a normal 2013 race again.
*AND THEN: On Lap 3, something distinctly abnormal occurred.
It's been long enough since the last comprehensive engine kablammo that we here at F1U! can't remember when it was. In this case, the Renault RS27 of Lettuce Grosjean's Lotus let go, killing every mosquito in São Paolo. Fortunately, he did not lay down an oil slick, nor did the immense amount of smoke released block vision for very long. We here at F1U! remember when we'd see this scene every couple of races...
*OTHER THAN THAT?: The rain didn't come. Everybody was looking to the heavens, trying to figure out when they'd open up. Every driver was told to protect his tires as much as possible, so to keep that first pitstop at bay until it rained. The thinking, quite logically, was that those who couldn't keep the tires alive would be at a disadvantage if they stopped before the rains came, as they'd have to stop again for rain tires. But the rains didn't come, and the looks of confusion up and down the pit lane were plain to see. "Wait, it was supposed to rain... now what do we do?" It got so bad that when the second round of stops occurred, it still hadn't rained and Red Bull completely peed theirs down their legs. Vettel came in, the team took his tires off... but they didn't have new tires for him, they had Webber's out and waiting. In the time it took them to run into the garage and grab them, Webber came in and was forced to "stack" behind his younger teammate. Clearly the two were supposed to pit in the opposite order. This cost Vettel about six-to-eight seconds of lead time, though it hardly mattered.
*FINALLY: Drops of rain began to appear on the on-board cameras with around 10 laps to go, but still the skies refused to drop The Great Equalizer upon the circuit. The Legendary Announce Team tried to play it up as if the track had become "greasy," but the lack of fishtailing and drifting proved them wrong. We don't doubt that the traction was somewhat less than perfect, but it wasn't that bad either. Then, a few laps later, the inevitable occurred: 4Time Vettel swept across the finish line. He led his retiring teammate by 10 seconds, followed by HWMNBN another nine seconds back.
*LOOKING AROUND: Vettel won every race since the Summer Break, nine in a row. This is the first time any driver ever has won nine races in a row in a single season. He won 13 out of 19 races on the season (tying him with Slappy Schumacher for the most in a season), and 10 out of the last 11. He scored more points alone (397) than the next closest team (Mercedes, 360). He scored 83.58% of the maximum points possible Only Mercedes and Red Bull scored pole positions all season.
*AND THUS: The 2013 season has come to an end, and with it the V8 engine era. Next March will see the return of turbocharging, though perched on V6 engines. Well, it'll be different, that's for sure. F1U! may come back, too... only time will tell. Thank you for reading, and we'll see you in 2014!
*OH, AND THIS: The last two episodes of McLaren's Tooned:
So that's how they dealt with Hamilton!
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November 23, 2013
F1 Quals: Brazil 2013
Rain. Rain is the great equalizer. Rain mushes up the playing field, makes everything harder and slower. Rain during Qualifying can put backmarkers on pole and champions into the wall. Rain Is Good.
It rained during Quals today. Here's the provisional grid for the 2013 Grand Prix of Brazil:
It rained, and it still doesn't matter. In fact, it was only in the closing stages of Q3 that Rosberg cut the gap to Vettel to under a second. Let me repeat that: Vettel was going to take pole by over a second. In the rain. Guess what it's going to do on raceday? If you said "rain," you're right. Hopefully not as much as we had today, when Q3 had to be delayed nearly 45 minutes, but rain.
With the race on NBC, I wounder how they'd handle a major delay? Guess we might just find out! See ya at 10am Pond Time for the final Grand Prix of 2013.
It rained during Quals today. Here's the provisional grid for the 2013 Grand Prix of Brazil:
It rained, and it still doesn't matter. In fact, it was only in the closing stages of Q3 that Rosberg cut the gap to Vettel to under a second. Let me repeat that: Vettel was going to take pole by over a second. In the rain. Guess what it's going to do on raceday? If you said "rain," you're right. Hopefully not as much as we had today, when Q3 had to be delayed nearly 45 minutes, but rain.
With the race on NBC, I wounder how they'd handle a major delay? Guess we might just find out! See ya at 10am Pond Time for the final Grand Prix of 2013.
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November 20, 2013
F1 on NBCSN: Brazil 2013
I hate the Brazilian Grand Prix (that's a lot of grands prix!). I always have. I've pretty much realized that it's irrational and left it at that. Here's the track map of Interlagos, home of the 2013 Grand Prix of Brazil:
There's no reason for my hate. This isn't a bad circuit, actually. Oh, I could do without the technical section in the middle, sure, but other than that it's pretty good. Lots of elevation change... it's downhill from Turn 1 to the end of Turn 3, and then it's back uphill from Juncao to Turn 15. Hell, this is the site of the most exciting moment in recent F1 history, the end of the 2008 Brazilian Grand Prix, when Lewis Hamilton won his driver's championship... and Felipe Massa had it taken away.
But I don't care. I dislike Interlagos intensely. Always have, always well. The hell of it is that I'm basically alone in my dislike... it's a popular track for drivers and fans alike. Oh well.
Here's the broadcast schedule for this weekend, with the Legendary Announce Team!
FRIDAY
Practice 2: 10a - 1130a live
SATURDAY
Quals: 10a - 1130a live (on CNBC)
SUNDAY
2013 Grand Prix of Brazil: 2p - 430p
...and then this season will be over.
There's no reason for my hate. This isn't a bad circuit, actually. Oh, I could do without the technical section in the middle, sure, but other than that it's pretty good. Lots of elevation change... it's downhill from Turn 1 to the end of Turn 3, and then it's back uphill from Juncao to Turn 15. Hell, this is the site of the most exciting moment in recent F1 history, the end of the 2008 Brazilian Grand Prix, when Lewis Hamilton won his driver's championship... and Felipe Massa had it taken away.
But I don't care. I dislike Interlagos intensely. Always have, always well. The hell of it is that I'm basically alone in my dislike... it's a popular track for drivers and fans alike. Oh well.
Here's the broadcast schedule for this weekend, with the Legendary Announce Team!
FRIDAY
Practice 2: 10a - 1130a live
SATURDAY
Quals: 10a - 1130a live (on CNBC)
SUNDAY
2013 Grand Prix of Brazil: 2p - 430p
...and then this season will be over.
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November 19, 2013
F1 Update!: United States 2013
A remarkably warm day (for November, not for Texas in general) greeted the two longhorned Red Bulls (see what I did there?) as they led the rest of the thundering herd (get it?) to the starting line at the Circuit of the Americas. Would head cowboy Tom Landry 4Time Vettel become the first driver in F1 history to win eight consecutive races in one season? Or would rival drover Mark Webber say goodbye to America with a win? Perhaps gardian Lettuce Grosjean would break through with his first victory? THIS is your F1 Update! for the 2013 United States Grand Prix!
*WELL, NO: For all intents and purposes, the race was over by the time Vettel climbed Phil Hill and made it through Turn 1. In fact, not only had he locked up the win but Lettuce Grosjean, taking advantage of yet another Mark Webber Lousy Start®, slotted into second place... which he wouldn't relinquish either. So, yeah, there's the race writeup, right there.
*BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE: Over at Chizumatic, Steven finally watched his first F1 race. He's absolutely right that DRS is, as he calls it, a hack. Before it came around, we saw practically zero passing; now we see regular passing, but usually only in certain locations. We here at F1U! like DRS about as much as we like Bubonic Plague, but it has done what the FIA wanted it to do. Steven also talks about the pitstops, and how even a "slow" one looked fast to his eyes. During the race, someone (Button?) had a four second long stop, and we were going "wow, slow" around the three second mark. But then, Mark Webber had a 2.3 second stop that Red Bull is claiming was actually a sub-two. Whatever, guys.
*STILL MORE: The "official language" of F1 is supposed to be English. All radio conversations are supposed to be in English, but Ferrari continues to speak to HWMNBN in Italian, particularly for sensitive messages. For the most part, the Red Team has been playing it straight this year, but every now and again, you'll get things like this that remind us why we despise the Scuderia.
*NO REASON, JUST A COOL SHOT:
*ENOUGH OF THAT: Look, if you think you're disappointed with this writeup, imagine how we here at F1U! feel. This is what we do, and we just don't have it in us to do anything more than this. Maybe we'll do something better for our least favorite race, Brazil, this coming weekend. It's the last one of the year, after all. See you then.
*WELL, NO: For all intents and purposes, the race was over by the time Vettel climbed Phil Hill and made it through Turn 1. In fact, not only had he locked up the win but Lettuce Grosjean, taking advantage of yet another Mark Webber Lousy Start®, slotted into second place... which he wouldn't relinquish either. So, yeah, there's the race writeup, right there.
*BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE: Over at Chizumatic, Steven finally watched his first F1 race. He's absolutely right that DRS is, as he calls it, a hack. Before it came around, we saw practically zero passing; now we see regular passing, but usually only in certain locations. We here at F1U! like DRS about as much as we like Bubonic Plague, but it has done what the FIA wanted it to do. Steven also talks about the pitstops, and how even a "slow" one looked fast to his eyes. During the race, someone (Button?) had a four second long stop, and we were going "wow, slow" around the three second mark. But then, Mark Webber had a 2.3 second stop that Red Bull is claiming was actually a sub-two. Whatever, guys.
*STILL MORE: The "official language" of F1 is supposed to be English. All radio conversations are supposed to be in English, but Ferrari continues to speak to HWMNBN in Italian, particularly for sensitive messages. For the most part, the Red Team has been playing it straight this year, but every now and again, you'll get things like this that remind us why we despise the Scuderia.
*NO REASON, JUST A COOL SHOT:
click for bigger version
*ENOUGH OF THAT: Look, if you think you're disappointed with this writeup, imagine how we here at F1U! feel. This is what we do, and we just don't have it in us to do anything more than this. Maybe we'll do something better for our least favorite race, Brazil, this coming weekend. It's the last one of the year, after all. See you then.
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