August 15, 2017

Why A Duck: The Story Of An Obsession In Five Acts, Act II

Gesundheit.


As you may remember, in Act I of this tale Our Hero gained the first member of what would eventually become known as The Flock.  One would think that would be the beginning of a beautiful tale.  One would be incorrect.

Act II: The Duck Dark Ages
Things were not good.  Our Hero, yours truly, was in truly dire straits.  Two reasons for this.  The first was simple: he had been kicked out of grad school and his dream of being a professional lighting designer had just shattered.  The second reason was more existential: he had just failed at something important for the first time in his life.  Along the way, he'd managed to screw up just about everything you could think of, and a few more besides.  Thus, it should come as no surprise that Our Hero was mostly a seething ball of hate.  He had moved back to the Old Home Pond, with Momzerduck and Ph.Duck, and we should all feel a moment's pity for them at this time.  Our Hero was only barely human at this point, bitter and resentful of the world at large.  It's fortunate that he mostly stayed in his bedroom for the first few months, exiting only to go shopping for more cigarettes and alcohol.

And Scooter the Wonderduck was in a box in the closet, along with other things that didn't really fit in the bedroom.  Plus, unhappy bundles of evil didn't do rubber ducks.  They just don't.  Eventually, Our Hero got a job in the music department of BigBlueBoxRetailer, and got his radio gig back to boot.  After a year or so, he'd leave BBBR for the greener pastures of an independent comic book store that he'd been shopping at since he was young.  Another year passed and he'd quit that to become a telemarketer, then came a stint with RadioShanty.  It was around this time that Our Hero met The Librarian, which coincidentally led to a job with a mall-based bookstore chain that rhymed with Maldenrooks as a store manager.  This was 1999, and the future had begun to look somewhat exciting to Our Hero, but Scooter stayed in the box in the closet, forgotten.  In 2001, Our Hero moved out of the Old Home Pond to Pond Central.  One day that first week as unpacking occurred, Scooter saw the light of day again.  He immediately got a spot on the computer desk, alone but important.

Then things went right to hell again.  9/11 happened, the Maldenrooks home office announced that Our Hero's store was to be closed at the end of the year, and that all of the employees would be offered positions at the Boredoors on the other end of town.  As it turned out, all the employees but the manager.  During the worst economic downturn in 20 years.  For the next 18 months, Our Hero looked for work... and failed miserably.  While he didn't become a hermit, his life was spent applying for jobs and not getting one.

Then, one day, while he was out shopping for foodstuffs, he noticed something.  There, in the toy section of the children's aisle (right across from the shampoo and q-tips), was a rubber duckie... cute one, too.  A moment later, the duckie had been added to the shopping cart... Scooter the Wonderduck probably was lonely after all.  And thus did Scooter II: The Wrath of Khan become the second member of what would become known as The Flock.

There was no way for anybody to realize just how important that chance encounter was, nor what it would eventually lead to.

Next time: A New Hope and more.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 11:07 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 621 words, total size 4 kb.

1 Not as uplifting as the first story, but life is like that.  Thanks for the post!

Posted by: David at August 16, 2017 09:00 PM (JMkaQ)

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