March 23, 2013
The Ugliest Warship In Any Fleet
You may remember a few months ago, I wrote about a pair of ships named the HMS General Wolfe and the HMS Lord Clive, a pair of Royal Navy monitors that shipped 18" guns. That little post sent me on a quiet search for more monitors, coastal defense ships, that sort of thing. And oh, but did I find some fun ones! For example, which would you rather have, a 7000ton ship with 11" guns or a 4000ton ship with 10" guns? Just wonderfully mind-altering designs flowed to me.
And then I stopped. I stopped because I encountered a ship that was far and away the ugliest thing I've ever seen afloat... and that includes bifurcated ships and French aircraft carriers. Ladies and gentlemen, I found a 3000ton ship carrying 15" rifles. Ladies and gentlemen, I found the Italian Faa di Bruno.
Technically a monitor, in truthfully this tremendously ugly thing was a barge with a bow tacked on. Her hull, not seen here because it had about two inches of freeboard, had a concrete cofferdam ten feet thick. It had a top speed of 3kts if the tide was behind it, driven by a 450hp engine. And it is hideous.
If you know of any ship uglier, leave it in the comments. Then gouge out your eyeballs.
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And then I stopped. I stopped because I encountered a ship that was far and away the ugliest thing I've ever seen afloat... and that includes bifurcated ships and French aircraft carriers. Ladies and gentlemen, I found a 3000ton ship carrying 15" rifles. Ladies and gentlemen, I found the Italian Faa di Bruno.
Technically a monitor, in truthfully this tremendously ugly thing was a barge with a bow tacked on. Her hull, not seen here because it had about two inches of freeboard, had a concrete cofferdam ten feet thick. It had a top speed of 3kts if the tide was behind it, driven by a 450hp engine. And it is hideous.
If you know of any ship uglier, leave it in the comments. Then gouge out your eyeballs.
Posted by: Wonderduck at
08:54 PM
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1
That thing even out-ugly's CSS Virginia.
Posted by: Steven Den Beste at March 23, 2013 11:36 PM (+rSRq)
2
I can't decide if I think the French battleship Massena is really ugly, or totally awesome in a steampunk sort of way. -
Picture 1 -
Picture 2 -
Not any uglier than Faa di Bruno, though.
Not any uglier than Faa di Bruno, though.
Posted by: flatdarkmars at March 24, 2013 12:31 PM (I55Es)
3
That's actually a sort of flattering angle for that thing. It looks worse from above, when it becomes even more apparent how much it looks like the roof of a barn. In a flood. With a squatter camp.
Posted by: andy at March 24, 2013 12:43 PM (R9Rm2)
4
Faa di Bruno still has to contend with the Russian Novgorod-class monitors for the ugliest dogs to ever be sent to sea. At least the Bruno did not look like the lid to a container of cream cheese when viewed from above. The round hull Novgorod, on the other hand...
C.T.
Posted by: cxt217 at March 24, 2013 04:14 PM (6/RCS)
5
I looked at that beast and immediately thought "Heavy weapons Dalek." By the way, there was one of the latter in the Doctor Who episode where they introduced the new companion (not the Christmas one, the first time they had her.)
Posted by: RickC at March 27, 2013 05:19 PM (WQ6Vb)
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