June 09, 2020
1. "I can hack this, I am a total introvert/hermit" 2. "I've got so many craft projects lined up, it will be great!"
Yeah no. It's not been great. I didn't realize how important the tiny daily interactions - with co-workers, at church, whatever - mattered. And how easily I can worry-spiral.
I am worse company for myself than I realized. I feel now like it's a good thing I never married: I am a profoundly boring person.
Everything *else* going on doesn't help.
And for someone as touch-averse as I normally am - well, one of my greatest desires right now is for someone bigger than me just to hug me and tell me everything's going to be all right in a way that actually convines me.
Posted by: fillyjonk at June 09, 2020 07:09 PM (+MBAo)
The intense cabin-fever part is (mostly) under control now, and I'm adjusted (mostly) to the work-from-home routine. It's manageable. I'm also abso-flogging-lutely fighting the brain weasels tooth and nail day in and day out. Between the terror over catching the covid bug, something that has a good chance of outright destroying my body, and watching the world kinda burn (in varying degrees of literal/figurative), I haven't been able to follow through on any of the things I planned to half a year ago or so. Breadmaking? Too many fiddly bits and my hands are jittery (-er) now, so that's kind of out. (I know it's "easy" and "simple" but tell that to the broken parts of my brain.) 3D stuff? With as easily frustrated as I am, trying to climb that learning curve is a non-starter right now. Writing? Yeah right.
I am immersed in books and shows and some music. I am keeping my head above water day by day. It's all I can do so I hope I can keep doing it.
Posted by: GreyDuck at June 09, 2020 09:55 PM (rKFiU)
Overall I'm okay. I've got work, I've got books, I have no real trouble keeping myself busy. My personal stress levels are pretty low.
Posted by: Avatar at June 10, 2020 01:39 AM (v29Tn)
Posted by: Don at June 10, 2020 04:58 AM (ID8+V)
I miss my few out of home activities more than I would have expected though. I'm very much looking forward to being able to sit down and just chat with people that are actually really there, not pixels on my screen.
Posted by: David at June 10, 2020 10:20 AM (UmjNG)
Posted by: Ben at June 10, 2020 10:23 AM (osxtX)
It's been nice to actually sit down and eat away from my desk occasionally as restaurants begin to open up, but all the national fast food chains are still drive-thru only.
Posted by: Will at June 10, 2020 09:39 PM (rWZ8Y)
However, I haven't gotten to be ALONE for...months? Not that I got a lot of alone time with two little kids anyway, but I occasionally had the office to myself, and if I happened to WFH some day, I'd be alone. But with not having childcare for the 8yo, I haven't been separated from him for more than maybe five hours total for the last three months, and let me tell you, I need a break from that kid.
I'm also really, really sick of my work day being 14 hours long because I have to start work before the kids get up and continue work after Will gets home (his company refused to allow any WFH, so it's all fallen on me) to take over the kids in order to get my tasks done. I have 20 hours of meetings in a good week, and often as many as 50 hours (overlapping, so I have to find coverage for the ones I miss), so most of my day is spent fitting in the 8yo's needs around the meetings, then the actual work happens at night.
As for the depression and OCD, I'd say this is the third-worst it's been. The suicidal ideation is only a little above the baseline (which is not zero), so really not too bad considering, and the nightmares are about the same level. I haven't had to go on meds or go to the mental hospital yet, so I'll probably make it this time too. (I'm terrified of meds because it's so hard to get off them, and from what I can find, the long-term effects of taking meds over 50+ years are not well understood. A "long-term" study in this area is maybe 18 months.)
Posted by: Kathryn at June 10, 2020 10:13 PM (rWZ8Y)
Posted by: Really Bored at June 11, 2020 02:25 PM (7vK48)
So about the only difference for me is a vastly faster commute, and weird supermarket shortages that have slowly abated and been replaced with price increases.
Also, gas did NOT get that much cheaper.
Posted by: Mauser at June 11, 2020 08:41 PM (Ix1l6)
Posted by: Pete Zaitcev at June 11, 2020 10:43 PM (LZ7Bg)
So aside from working from home, nothing much has changed. I'm in rural Texas, so the whole mask thing has been pretty much optional, and I've opted out. A few weeks when TP was scarce in the stores, but I already had enough, so no issues there.
I've even lost weight! Finally got serious about maintaining a caloric deficit (flavored rice cakes FTW!).
Posted by: jabrwok at June 12, 2020 05:21 AM (T4WaI)
Regarding the Bolshevik-led riots? We're in a bedroom community of Columbus so just a few, quiet talks with reliable neighbors. Some plans and drills with the fam if a van-load of antifa/diversity shows up in our neighborhood. I did tell my two friends in the city that if things go south for them they can use our basement as a temporary bolthole.
Wish the spring anime season was better. Only watching Bookworm, Wave, and Arte.
Posted by: Clayton Barnett at June 12, 2020 12:20 PM (ug1Mc)
My routine did not change very much, other than the mandates. I also maintain sizeable amount of supplies so I could have easily sheltered in place if I needed. I had to deal with less traffic on the roads during commute, more people at the places that are open - so basically, like when the schools let out for summer vacation. The only things that sucked was that the places that were closed included places that I had a needed to visit, like barbershops.
On the other hand, I live in a state with a governor who is/was both slow, incompetent, ineffective, and hypocritical with his actions, so I still have to deal with the effects of that. Yes, he's a Democrat.
Posted by: cxt217 at June 13, 2020 09:49 PM (4i7w0)
It's been kind of boring, admittedly, so I've gone on a bit of a cheap-video-game buying spree (I just ordered the bundle Pixy mentioned, for example), and got a couple of neat things I've had my eyes on for a while; I just picked up a 3D printer this morning, and a couple of weeks ago I ordered a neat 40% layout keyboard that's taking up a decent hunk of my brainpower (it's an OLKB Planck if anyone cares to look it up. 47 keys the way I've configured it.)
Posted by: Rick C at June 14, 2020 03:48 PM (Iwkd4)
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