September 06, 2016
Well, I Tell Ya...
A few weeks ago, I had a doctor's appointment. Mainly it was for the annual drug review... my prescription for the Keep Wonderduck Alive pills had run out... but while I was there, I had a little chat with Dr Red. I explained to him how I was having problems staying awake at work, how I'd close my eyes and almost immediately almost fall asleep.
Sure, like most adults in the United States, I don't get enough sleep, but it's not like I'm trying to operate on three hours and a can of Red Bull either. I don't mind dozing off when I'm at home, but when I could be canned for sleeping on the job, it's kind of a bother. So Doc Red took a gander down my throat (and how it fit, I'll never know), hemmed and hawed for a short time, then suggested that there's a good chance I have sleep apnea. Well, that'd explain a lot... if my quality of sleep sucks, the quantity doesn't matter much.
So there's maybe a sleep study in my future sometime... nothing like sleeping in a strange bed while wired for sound with medical-like people watching you. Actually, there are people who'd pay good money for just that for fun, probably. Not like I know anything about that or anything. Nope, not me. Uh-uh. But before that, there's something else we're trying: antidepressants.
Yup, I gave up. I realized that I wasn't getting better mentally, so it was time to start taking the happy pills again. It's been just over three weeks, and the only effect I've felt so far is the worst case of cottonmouth you can have without being a snake. But it takes at least that long for it to start taking effect, so... yeah. There ya go. The thinking is that if I'm not so depressed, I'll be able to concentrate better and less likely to doze off. Who knows, it might even work that way! There is a part of me that feels like I'm a weakling for needing such help, but... well. Piffle.
Sure, like most adults in the United States, I don't get enough sleep, but it's not like I'm trying to operate on three hours and a can of Red Bull either. I don't mind dozing off when I'm at home, but when I could be canned for sleeping on the job, it's kind of a bother. So Doc Red took a gander down my throat (and how it fit, I'll never know), hemmed and hawed for a short time, then suggested that there's a good chance I have sleep apnea. Well, that'd explain a lot... if my quality of sleep sucks, the quantity doesn't matter much.
So there's maybe a sleep study in my future sometime... nothing like sleeping in a strange bed while wired for sound with medical-like people watching you. Actually, there are people who'd pay good money for just that for fun, probably. Not like I know anything about that or anything. Nope, not me. Uh-uh. But before that, there's something else we're trying: antidepressants.
Yup, I gave up. I realized that I wasn't getting better mentally, so it was time to start taking the happy pills again. It's been just over three weeks, and the only effect I've felt so far is the worst case of cottonmouth you can have without being a snake. But it takes at least that long for it to start taking effect, so... yeah. There ya go. The thinking is that if I'm not so depressed, I'll be able to concentrate better and less likely to doze off. Who knows, it might even work that way! There is a part of me that feels like I'm a weakling for needing such help, but... well. Piffle.
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September 04, 2016
F1 Update!: Italy 2016
A beautiful day in Northern Italy greeted the huge throng of racing fans and truly rabid Ferrari supporters known as the tifosi as they did what tifosi do best: be enthusiastic. The sight of anything red sent them into paroxysms of enthusiasm loud enough to drown out even the loudest of race engines. The enthusiasm was contagious: with the only living son and heir to Enzo Ferrari, Piero Lardi Ferrari, and Sergio Marchionne, the Chairman and CEO of Ferrari and Fiat-Chrysler, watching from the VIP area of the pit box, Seb Vettel said that the spirit of the crowd alone could will the Red cars to victory. Such enthusiasm, while admirable, also masked the unease that must have been present in the team's hearts, following Marchionne's pronunciation earlier this week that the 2016 season was "a failure". When the Aermacchi MB-339s of the Frecce Tricolori swept low over the the Autodromo Nazionale Monza trailing their streams of red, white, and green smoke, clearly it was time. THIS is your F1 Update! for the 2016 Grand Prix of Italy!
*LIGHTS OUT: When the Thundering Herd took the lights to start the race, it came as no surprise that a silver car was leading the field into the ridiculously tight first chicane. What was a surprise was that it was Nico Rosberg, not polesitter Lewis Hamilton, doing the leading. Hamilton, as he's done multiple times this season, borked the start and was swallowed by the field, falling all the way to sixth in the blink of an eye. He was not alone in this: Embryo Verstappen saw his Red Bull slip into anti-stall and lose a handful of places, and Esteban!'s HaasF1 had the worst of the bunch, plummeting to dead last as the backmarkers scrambled to avoid him. The upshot of all this was to give Ferrari a tiny opening that the tifosi could pour all their hopes and dreams into in an attempt to ring the church bells in Maranello.
*TIRE WAR: After Quals, it was clear that the race had already been decided... the question was, which way would it go? Mercedes had set their fastest time in Q2 on the Soft compound tires, while Ferrari's drivers were both on the Super-soft. At least in theory, the Softs would be slower, but last longer, than the Super-soft tires. With Monza being relatively easy on tires, if Mercedes was careful they could do the race with only one pitstop and a switch to the hardest tire available on the weekend, the Mediums. Meanwhile, Ferrari would have to make two stops. Any time disadvantage from making a second run down pit lane would nominally be erased by the faster laps the softer tires would provide. In fact, the entire field other than Mercedes was on the two-stop strategy. The problem was that the Silver Arrows were just as fast on the Softs as the rest of the field was on Super-softs, at least in Quals. Which strategy would work best proved to be the only real drama in the race.
*KISS 'EM GOODBYE: Hamilton's opening gaffe had handed Nico Rosberg, Hamilton's teammate and rival for the Driver's Championship, a gigantic present delicately wrapped and delivered by a squadron of cherubs on the wing. He was in the lead and in clean air, while his teammate would have to fight his way past the Red Bull of Smiley Ricciardo, the Mercedes-powered Williams of Valtteri Bottas, and the two Ferraris of Kimi Raikkonen and Seb Vettel before he could even think about attacking for the lead...and Rosberg wasn't one to turn from such a present. While Hamilton got past the Red Bull in one lap, it took 10 more to put Bottas behind him. In the process, he had fallen eleven seconds behind the leader and trashed his rear tires to boot. A handful of laps later found him in second place as the two Ferraris each duly headed into the pits for their fresh rubber, but by now Rosberg was over 15 seconds ahead. Nico pitted on Lap 24 and came back out still in the lead. Hamilton pitted on Lap 25, and rejoined the race in fourth, behind the two Ferrari drivers. While this meant that the Brit was functionally in second in the race since the Red cars would have to stop once more, in real life he still had them and their downforce-disturbing dirty air in front of him. And he had to make up some 12 seconds of time to boot.
*IT WAS EVER THUS: While Hamilton took fractions of a second off the leader each lap, aided by Rosberg catching up with, and working his way through, the backmarkers, he had to be careful with his tires. If he pushed them too much too early, not only would he not catch his teammate, he could even lose the advantages of the one stop strategy if he damaged them enough, either by having to slow down or actually making a second stop. And Rosberg kept on grinding away, free of disturbances or threats.
*THE END: Ferrari's drivers made their stops, rejoining the festivities in third for Vettel and fourth for Raikkonen. Even with the fresh rubber, it was clear that they couldn't catch Hamilton... and even more clear was that Hamilton would never catch Rosberg. A lockup and jump over the curbs in the first chicane late in the race simply guaranteed the one-time polesitter couldn't work any magic. Rosberg was some 15 seconds ahead of his teammate at the end of the day, while Vettel was only five seconds away in third. Raikkonen came in fourth. Smiley Riccardio pulled off the pass of the race late, taking fifth off Bottas in a daring move into the first chicane. But during the podium ceremony, the tifosi only had eyes for the man in red, their cheers audible in Rome when he was handed the third-place trophy.
So that's it from Monza and the European leg of the calendar. Next up in two weeks, we'll be in Singapore. See ya then!
*LIGHTS OUT: When the Thundering Herd took the lights to start the race, it came as no surprise that a silver car was leading the field into the ridiculously tight first chicane. What was a surprise was that it was Nico Rosberg, not polesitter Lewis Hamilton, doing the leading. Hamilton, as he's done multiple times this season, borked the start and was swallowed by the field, falling all the way to sixth in the blink of an eye. He was not alone in this: Embryo Verstappen saw his Red Bull slip into anti-stall and lose a handful of places, and Esteban!'s HaasF1 had the worst of the bunch, plummeting to dead last as the backmarkers scrambled to avoid him. The upshot of all this was to give Ferrari a tiny opening that the tifosi could pour all their hopes and dreams into in an attempt to ring the church bells in Maranello.
*TIRE WAR: After Quals, it was clear that the race had already been decided... the question was, which way would it go? Mercedes had set their fastest time in Q2 on the Soft compound tires, while Ferrari's drivers were both on the Super-soft. At least in theory, the Softs would be slower, but last longer, than the Super-soft tires. With Monza being relatively easy on tires, if Mercedes was careful they could do the race with only one pitstop and a switch to the hardest tire available on the weekend, the Mediums. Meanwhile, Ferrari would have to make two stops. Any time disadvantage from making a second run down pit lane would nominally be erased by the faster laps the softer tires would provide. In fact, the entire field other than Mercedes was on the two-stop strategy. The problem was that the Silver Arrows were just as fast on the Softs as the rest of the field was on Super-softs, at least in Quals. Which strategy would work best proved to be the only real drama in the race.
*KISS 'EM GOODBYE: Hamilton's opening gaffe had handed Nico Rosberg, Hamilton's teammate and rival for the Driver's Championship, a gigantic present delicately wrapped and delivered by a squadron of cherubs on the wing. He was in the lead and in clean air, while his teammate would have to fight his way past the Red Bull of Smiley Ricciardo, the Mercedes-powered Williams of Valtteri Bottas, and the two Ferraris of Kimi Raikkonen and Seb Vettel before he could even think about attacking for the lead...and Rosberg wasn't one to turn from such a present. While Hamilton got past the Red Bull in one lap, it took 10 more to put Bottas behind him. In the process, he had fallen eleven seconds behind the leader and trashed his rear tires to boot. A handful of laps later found him in second place as the two Ferraris each duly headed into the pits for their fresh rubber, but by now Rosberg was over 15 seconds ahead. Nico pitted on Lap 24 and came back out still in the lead. Hamilton pitted on Lap 25, and rejoined the race in fourth, behind the two Ferrari drivers. While this meant that the Brit was functionally in second in the race since the Red cars would have to stop once more, in real life he still had them and their downforce-disturbing dirty air in front of him. And he had to make up some 12 seconds of time to boot.
*IT WAS EVER THUS: While Hamilton took fractions of a second off the leader each lap, aided by Rosberg catching up with, and working his way through, the backmarkers, he had to be careful with his tires. If he pushed them too much too early, not only would he not catch his teammate, he could even lose the advantages of the one stop strategy if he damaged them enough, either by having to slow down or actually making a second stop. And Rosberg kept on grinding away, free of disturbances or threats.
*THE END: Ferrari's drivers made their stops, rejoining the festivities in third for Vettel and fourth for Raikkonen. Even with the fresh rubber, it was clear that they couldn't catch Hamilton... and even more clear was that Hamilton would never catch Rosberg. A lockup and jump over the curbs in the first chicane late in the race simply guaranteed the one-time polesitter couldn't work any magic. Rosberg was some 15 seconds ahead of his teammate at the end of the day, while Vettel was only five seconds away in third. Raikkonen came in fourth. Smiley Riccardio pulled off the pass of the race late, taking fifth off Bottas in a daring move into the first chicane. But during the podium ceremony, the tifosi only had eyes for the man in red, their cheers audible in Rome when he was handed the third-place trophy.
not pictured: the rest of Italy covering the front straight.
*THE SURPRISE: Frustrated by an awful race and an extra pitstop, Fernando Alonso gave McLaren a shock fastest lap. It was the team's first since 2013, and the first for a Honda-powered car in 24 years, when Ayrton Senna pulled the trick in Portugal, 1992. It doesn't mean anything, of course, but it's quite the change from what we saw in 2015, when the team had problems even finishing a race.So that's it from Monza and the European leg of the calendar. Next up in two weeks, we'll be in Singapore. See ya then!
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September 03, 2016
F1 Quals: Italy 2016
Oh, hey, hi there, wow look at the time, will ya? Almost like I lost track of the clock or something and next time I look up, whoa but it's late! Quals was over ages ago, what were you doing, you crazy duck you! Honestly, the answer is "nothing of consequence." Sorry about that... not that we're missing anything, really... here's the provisional grid for the 2016 Grand Prix of Italy:
First, the important stuff. Esteban! has brought Haas their first appearance in Q3, and by a goodly margin at the time to boot... he was 7th in Q2, for heaven's sake. Of course he couldn't do anything in Q3 when it absolutely mattered, because that's when the BIG teams get serious, but it's still quite a nice sight, don'tchathink? On the exact opposite end of the spectrum, Manor's False Esteban! had engine problems in third practice. The team thought they had it fixed, but when he went out in Q1 to set a time, he made it all the way to the end of the front straight before it died again. Disappointing, considering where his teammate ended up.
Now for less amusing news: two drivers announced their retirements this week. Felipe Massa is hanging up his helmet after the season. He racked up 11 wins and 41 podiums for three teams in his 15-year career, the highlight (or lowlight, depending on how you look at it) was 2008, when he nearly won the Driver's Championship, only to have it snatched from him on the last turn of the last lap of the last race of the season. The following year, he was very nearly killed when he took a damper spring to the helmet in Hungary. He never regained his winning ways after that, but still proved to be a viable racer worthy of respect on the track.
The other driver to retire is Jenson Button. Actually, he's only "stepping down from his race seat" for 2017 while continuing to work for McLaren. He's not against driving again in 2018 however. His 17-year career included 15 wins, 50 podiums and one Driver's Championship, for BrawnGP in 2009. Interestingly, his was the last single championship we've had for quite some time... Mercedes now, Red Bull before that, then BrawnGP, McLaren, and Ferrari had one year runs, preceded by Renault. Before them were the Red years of Ferrari and Schumacher. I've always considered Button to be the type of driver that can get the most out of a good car and make it great, but can't outdrive a mediocre or bad car. No shame in that, and there are very few drivers that have accomplished what he's done. He'll retire as having participated in the second-most F1 races ever, behind only Rubens Barrichello.
Race is in the morning, see ya then!
| Pos |
Driver | Q1 | Q2 | Q3 |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1:21.854 | 1:21.498 | 1:21.135 | |
| 2 | 1:22.497 | 1:21.809 | 1:21.613 | |
| 3 | 1:23.077 | 1:22.275 | 1:21.972 | |
| 4 | 1:23.217 | 1:22.568 | 1:22.065 | |
| 5 | 1:23.264 | 1:22.499 | 1:22.388 | |
| 6 | 1:23.158 | 1:22.638 | 1:22.389 | |
| 7 | 1:23.229 | 1:22.857 | 1:22.411 | |
| 8 | 1:23.439 | 1:22.922 | 1:22.814 | |
| 9 | 1:23.259 | 1:22.951 | 1:22.836 | |
| 10 | 1:23.386 | 1:22.856 | 1:23.184 | |
| 11 | 1:23.489 | 1:22.967 | ||
| 12 | 1:23.421 | 1:23.092 | ||
| 13 | 1:23.783 | 1:23.273 | ||
| 14 | 's Wager | 1:23.760 | 1:23.315 | |
| 15 | 1:23.666 | 1:23.399 | ||
| 16 | 1:23.661 | 1:23.496 | ||
| 17 | 1:23.825 | |||
| 18 | 1:23.956 | |||
| 19 | 1:24.087 | |||
| 20 | 1:24.230 | |||
| 21 | 1:24.436 | |||
| NC | DNF |
First, the important stuff. Esteban! has brought Haas their first appearance in Q3, and by a goodly margin at the time to boot... he was 7th in Q2, for heaven's sake. Of course he couldn't do anything in Q3 when it absolutely mattered, because that's when the BIG teams get serious, but it's still quite a nice sight, don'tchathink? On the exact opposite end of the spectrum, Manor's False Esteban! had engine problems in third practice. The team thought they had it fixed, but when he went out in Q1 to set a time, he made it all the way to the end of the front straight before it died again. Disappointing, considering where his teammate ended up.
Now for less amusing news: two drivers announced their retirements this week. Felipe Massa is hanging up his helmet after the season. He racked up 11 wins and 41 podiums for three teams in his 15-year career, the highlight (or lowlight, depending on how you look at it) was 2008, when he nearly won the Driver's Championship, only to have it snatched from him on the last turn of the last lap of the last race of the season. The following year, he was very nearly killed when he took a damper spring to the helmet in Hungary. He never regained his winning ways after that, but still proved to be a viable racer worthy of respect on the track.
The other driver to retire is Jenson Button. Actually, he's only "stepping down from his race seat" for 2017 while continuing to work for McLaren. He's not against driving again in 2018 however. His 17-year career included 15 wins, 50 podiums and one Driver's Championship, for BrawnGP in 2009. Interestingly, his was the last single championship we've had for quite some time... Mercedes now, Red Bull before that, then BrawnGP, McLaren, and Ferrari had one year runs, preceded by Renault. Before them were the Red years of Ferrari and Schumacher. I've always considered Button to be the type of driver that can get the most out of a good car and make it great, but can't outdrive a mediocre or bad car. No shame in that, and there are very few drivers that have accomplished what he's done. He'll retire as having participated in the second-most F1 races ever, behind only Rubens Barrichello.
Race is in the morning, see ya then!
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August 30, 2016
F1 on NBCSN: Italy 2016
Speed. Turns and curbs to the contrary, speed is what F1 should be all about. Go fast, turn fast, fast, faster, fastest. But we all know and understand that F1 doesn't do raw straightline speed, not like IndyCar or NASCAR or that most quintessential of American motorsport, drag racing. Their tracks are designed to allow their cars to go as fast as possible and devil take the hindmost. Oh sure, both IndyCar and NASCAR throw in a couple of road circuits as a filip to those who think that turning right is important, but we all know that racing on a ginormous oval is the One True Way to speed. The stereotypical F1 fan (aka almost all European F1 fans) sneer at ovals as too simplistic, too easy, too... American... for something as difficult as Formula 1.
Yes, there are a few turns thrown in. For the most part, they are recent additions. Why, Monza even had a high-banked oval portion to boot. They would never admit it, but F1 fans know that Monza is an American track at its heart: raw oomph and no finesse anywhere. One's right foot is to the floor for 80% of the lap, after all... and when it isn't on the floor, it's still pretty darn close to it. The teams will be breaking 200mph at the end of the front straight, after coming off Parabolica (Turn 11) at about 170mph. Oh, sure, the track in Mexico is now technically the fastest in F1, but that's all from one long straightaway. After that, it's twisty and curvy and turny... none of that for Monza. It's fast everywhere. Brakes are for other circuits.
Yes, I exaggerate for effect, but it's not that far from the truth. Teams bring the minimum amount of downforce possible to this place, because downforce slows the cars down and ain't nobody wants that.
The only thing more ridiculous than the speeds at this Italian circuit are the Italian fans that show up... the rabid tifosi. Loud, passionate, and not afraid to nick everything team related up to and including tires, cars, and drivers probably. And woe betide the world if Ferrari ever wins here again... the crowd reaction can only be topped by fans of the Cubs when they win the World Series.. They're what makes Monza such fun... they start cheering before the race starts and doesn't shut up until a few days after the race is over.
It's that unique experience the Legendary Announce Team means to bring us with their usual on-air flair and panache. No idea if The Varsha will be in Leigh Diffy's seat again, guess we won't know that until P2! Here's the broadcast schedule:
Friday
Practice 2: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Sunday
2016 Grand Prix of Italy: 630a- 9a live on NBCSN
All times, as usual, are Pond Central Time. Check your local listings for times in your area. F1Update! will be along after the race... not that we're expecting anything more than another Merc domination. But we will see, won't we? Stay tuned!
You can hear lips curling in a sneer all the way across the Atlantic.
And then there is La Pista Magica, The Magic Track. Officially known as Autodromo Nazionale Monza, this has been the home of the Italian Grand Prix essentially forever. And this legendary circuit is where all the sneering and talking down goes away, because Monza is about nothing more than speed. Here's the track map:Yes, there are a few turns thrown in. For the most part, they are recent additions. Why, Monza even had a high-banked oval portion to boot. They would never admit it, but F1 fans know that Monza is an American track at its heart: raw oomph and no finesse anywhere. One's right foot is to the floor for 80% of the lap, after all... and when it isn't on the floor, it's still pretty darn close to it. The teams will be breaking 200mph at the end of the front straight, after coming off Parabolica (Turn 11) at about 170mph. Oh, sure, the track in Mexico is now technically the fastest in F1, but that's all from one long straightaway. After that, it's twisty and curvy and turny... none of that for Monza. It's fast everywhere. Brakes are for other circuits.
Yes, I exaggerate for effect, but it's not that far from the truth. Teams bring the minimum amount of downforce possible to this place, because downforce slows the cars down and ain't nobody wants that.
The only thing more ridiculous than the speeds at this Italian circuit are the Italian fans that show up... the rabid tifosi. Loud, passionate, and not afraid to nick everything team related up to and including tires, cars, and drivers probably. And woe betide the world if Ferrari ever wins here again... the crowd reaction can only be topped by fans of the Cubs when they win the World Series.. They're what makes Monza such fun... they start cheering before the race starts and doesn't shut up until a few days after the race is over.
It's that unique experience the Legendary Announce Team means to bring us with their usual on-air flair and panache. No idea if The Varsha will be in Leigh Diffy's seat again, guess we won't know that until P2! Here's the broadcast schedule:
Friday
Practice 2: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Sunday
2016 Grand Prix of Italy: 630a- 9a live on NBCSN
All times, as usual, are Pond Central Time. Check your local listings for times in your area. F1Update! will be along after the race... not that we're expecting anything more than another Merc domination. But we will see, won't we? Stay tuned!
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August 28, 2016
F1 Update!: Belgium 2016
A surprisingly pretty day greeted the F1 Circus as they took their spots on the starting grid. It was more than 15°F cooler than it had been all weekend, giving hope that the supersoft tires could last longer than a lap, and that the softs wouldn't develop the spontaneous blisters that'd been forming during the practice sessions. Polesitter Nico Rosberg had to feel confident that he'd rack up a huge score and close the gap to his rival and teammate Lewis Hamilton, starting last on the grid. But would the two Ferraris on the second row be able to threaten the Mercedes driver, or could wunderkind Embryo Verstappen, sitting alongside Rosberg, score a surprise? THIS is your F1Update! for the 2016 Grand Prix of Belgium!
*LIGHTS OUT: As the race began, Rosberg made a good start and was clear of his challengers as the Thundering Herd charged into Turn 1, the La Source hairpin. The same could not be said of the Red Bull of Verstappen, victim of a less-than-swell start. He was swallowed up by the twin Ferraris of Seb Vettel and Kimi Raikkonen. With the blinding optimism of youth on his side, the 18-year-old Dutch driver decided to try and win the race in the first turn. Raikkonen was on the inside of Vettel at the apex of La Source, and Verstappen tried to fit himself into the gap between the Finn and the inside barrier. The resulting kerfluffle saw Vettel sideways in the path of traffic, Raikkonen with damage, and Verstappen needing a new nose. Bodywork continued to fly from incidental contact throughout the field going into Eau Rouge, with a huge amount of sparks coming from underneath Raikkonen's car from a tire going down. At the top of the hill, Jenson Button saw his suspension turned into flinders when rammed from behind by the Manor of Pascal's Wager. That mostly ended the first lap shenanigans, unless you count Kimi's pitstop where the undertray of the Ferrari caught fire from dragging around the track.
*SAFETY CAR OR RED FLAG? WHY NOT BOTH!: The next lap saw Carlos Sainz suffer a puncture and subsequent failure of his right-rear tire. Unfortunately for his Toro Rosso, the carcass of the tire did not come free. Instead, it sort of peeled back while part of it stayed attached to the shoulder of the tire. It immediately began flailing away at the rear bodywork and wing, first bending, then snapping, the wing's upright.
Fortunately for him, the tire blew just after he got through Eau Rouge, otherwise the resulting wreck could have been calamitous. The same luck could not be applied to the Renault of Kevin Magnussen. He got a little sideways at the top of the hill and wound up going into the barriers at high speed backwards, ending up nose-first in a tire barrier.
The Renault was comprehensively destroyed. The chassis actually twisted along the length of the car, popping the removable cockpit bolster free. A testament to the safety of a F1 car, Magnussen extracted himself from the remains quickly, showing only a small limp. After a visit to the track's medical center, he was taken to a nearby hospital for observation and treatment of a cut on his ankle. To allow the track workers to remove the remains of the car, a Safety Car was summoned. Much of the field took this opportunity to change tires, getting off the destructing supersofts. There were, however, a few drivers that stayed out. Notable among them was the McLaren of Fernando Alonso and the Mercedes of Lewis Hamilton. These two drivers, with five world championships between them, had formed the final row of the grid due to engine penalties. They now found themselves fourth and fifth, behind only Rosberg, Red Bull's Smiley Ricciardo, and the Force India of Nico Hulkenberg. After a lap or two behind the safety car, the race was red flagged; Magnussen's impact had damaged the tire barrier to the point that an extensive repair was required. This stoppage of the race allowed the five drivers that hadn't stopped to change tires essentially for free.
*RESTART TO THE END: The red flag period lasted for 20 minutes, and the free tire change proved to be a godsend for all five drivers. After Hamilton managed to pass both Alonso and Hulkenberg, within eight laps of the restart, the race settled down into just ticking off the laps. Ricciardo couldn't close on Rosberg, but neither could Hamilton run down the Red Bull. Behind them, the Ferraris struggled to regain positions lost during their accident and repair, with Vettel finishing in sixth. With the third "power team" out of the running, Force India, which has always had good results in Belgium, was able to pull themselves into fourth and fifth. This unexpected but welcome development pulled them up into fourth in the Constructor's championship, ahead of Williams but behind Ferrari. So the final result saw Rosberg winning, with Ricciardo, Hamilton, Nico Hulkenberg, Sergio Perez, Vettel, and Alonso rounding out the top seven.
*THOUGHTS: A great track with a promising starting grid should have led to a fun race. Instead, we actually ended up with a dull tilt, the only excitement coming in the first few laps from the contact and accidents. This is not why we watch here at F1Update!, either the accidents or seeing the result preordained by the red flag. Pity.
Next weekend we get the fastest track of the season: Monza and the Grand Prix of Italy. See you there.
*LIGHTS OUT: As the race began, Rosberg made a good start and was clear of his challengers as the Thundering Herd charged into Turn 1, the La Source hairpin. The same could not be said of the Red Bull of Verstappen, victim of a less-than-swell start. He was swallowed up by the twin Ferraris of Seb Vettel and Kimi Raikkonen. With the blinding optimism of youth on his side, the 18-year-old Dutch driver decided to try and win the race in the first turn. Raikkonen was on the inside of Vettel at the apex of La Source, and Verstappen tried to fit himself into the gap between the Finn and the inside barrier. The resulting kerfluffle saw Vettel sideways in the path of traffic, Raikkonen with damage, and Verstappen needing a new nose. Bodywork continued to fly from incidental contact throughout the field going into Eau Rouge, with a huge amount of sparks coming from underneath Raikkonen's car from a tire going down. At the top of the hill, Jenson Button saw his suspension turned into flinders when rammed from behind by the Manor of Pascal's Wager. That mostly ended the first lap shenanigans, unless you count Kimi's pitstop where the undertray of the Ferrari caught fire from dragging around the track.
*SAFETY CAR OR RED FLAG? WHY NOT BOTH!: The next lap saw Carlos Sainz suffer a puncture and subsequent failure of his right-rear tire. Unfortunately for his Toro Rosso, the carcass of the tire did not come free. Instead, it sort of peeled back while part of it stayed attached to the shoulder of the tire. It immediately began flailing away at the rear bodywork and wing, first bending, then snapping, the wing's upright.
Fortunately for him, the tire blew just after he got through Eau Rouge, otherwise the resulting wreck could have been calamitous. The same luck could not be applied to the Renault of Kevin Magnussen. He got a little sideways at the top of the hill and wound up going into the barriers at high speed backwards, ending up nose-first in a tire barrier.
The Renault was comprehensively destroyed. The chassis actually twisted along the length of the car, popping the removable cockpit bolster free. A testament to the safety of a F1 car, Magnussen extracted himself from the remains quickly, showing only a small limp. After a visit to the track's medical center, he was taken to a nearby hospital for observation and treatment of a cut on his ankle. To allow the track workers to remove the remains of the car, a Safety Car was summoned. Much of the field took this opportunity to change tires, getting off the destructing supersofts. There were, however, a few drivers that stayed out. Notable among them was the McLaren of Fernando Alonso and the Mercedes of Lewis Hamilton. These two drivers, with five world championships between them, had formed the final row of the grid due to engine penalties. They now found themselves fourth and fifth, behind only Rosberg, Red Bull's Smiley Ricciardo, and the Force India of Nico Hulkenberg. After a lap or two behind the safety car, the race was red flagged; Magnussen's impact had damaged the tire barrier to the point that an extensive repair was required. This stoppage of the race allowed the five drivers that hadn't stopped to change tires essentially for free.
*RESTART TO THE END: The red flag period lasted for 20 minutes, and the free tire change proved to be a godsend for all five drivers. After Hamilton managed to pass both Alonso and Hulkenberg, within eight laps of the restart, the race settled down into just ticking off the laps. Ricciardo couldn't close on Rosberg, but neither could Hamilton run down the Red Bull. Behind them, the Ferraris struggled to regain positions lost during their accident and repair, with Vettel finishing in sixth. With the third "power team" out of the running, Force India, which has always had good results in Belgium, was able to pull themselves into fourth and fifth. This unexpected but welcome development pulled them up into fourth in the Constructor's championship, ahead of Williams but behind Ferrari. So the final result saw Rosberg winning, with Ricciardo, Hamilton, Nico Hulkenberg, Sergio Perez, Vettel, and Alonso rounding out the top seven.
*THOUGHTS: A great track with a promising starting grid should have led to a fun race. Instead, we actually ended up with a dull tilt, the only excitement coming in the first few laps from the contact and accidents. This is not why we watch here at F1Update!, either the accidents or seeing the result preordained by the red flag. Pity.
Next weekend we get the fastest track of the season: Monza and the Grand Prix of Italy. See you there.
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August 27, 2016
F1 Quals: Belgium 2016
Well, this is a fine kettle of pork. Here's the provisional grid for the 2016 Grand Prix of Belgium:
Okay, so the first thing that leaps out at you is that Rio Rainbow Gate is no longer on the grid. It was announced over the summer break that his Indonesian backers hadn't paid Manor in a while, so he was given the boot. Esteban Ocon will forever be reviled by The Pond as a result.
Okay, no, the real first thing that leaps out at you is that Lewis Hamilton is 21st. There's a good reason for this, and it involves one of the slicker cases of rules lawyering I've seen in a while. Here's what's going on. Hamilton has had a bad case of engine problems this season, to the point that he's already burned through the five sets of power unit components he's allocated, yet has half the season remaining. That means he automatically gets a 15-spot grid penalty for each new engine he uses for the rest of the year... and the engine in his car now is well-used. So what some bright spark at Mercedes did is sit down with the Technical Regulations and found a loophole: you get a penalty for each new engine, but the rules don't specifically prevent you from using multiple engines in a race weekend. That's probably what the spirit of the rules were, but not the word.
Really, the rest of the grid looks more or less normal. While Embryo Verstappen looks racy, he's going to be starting on the supersoft tires, while polesitter Nico Rosberg is on softs. This is going to be a major tire race: most teams chose to load up on the supersofts, with Ferrari using half of their tire allotment on the supersofts, and only bringing one set of mediums to boot. However, it's been flat-out hot at Spa-Francopants this weekend, high 80s / low 90s... which is practically unheard of for race weekend. That's disastrous for the supersofts, which weren't even capable of surviving a full qualifying lap before they began to die. If the weather tomorrow is hot, with the cars carrying a full load of fuel, I expect the supersofts to fail by Turn 1.
In other news, the Ringleader of the Legendary Announce Team, Leigh Diffey, has been absent from P2 and Quals coverage, as he reportedly has a case of diverticulitis. While Steve Matchett and David Hobbs did a good job in his absence, particularly Matchett, it's clear they need someone to keep control of the conversation. Which is why NBCSN has a fill-in for the race:
The Varsha. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Original Legendary Announce Team is back together again. I'm actually giddy.
Race in the morning.
| Pos |
Driver | Q1 | Q2 | Q3 |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1:48.019 | 1:46.999 | 1:46.744 | |
| 2 | 1:48.407 | 1:47.163 | 1:46.893 | |
| 3 | 1:47.912 | 1:47.664 | 1:46.910 | |
| 4 | 1:47.802 | 1:47.944 | 1:47.108 | |
| 5 | 1:48.407 | 1:48.027 | 1:47.216 | |
| 6 | 1:48.106 | 1:47.485 | 1:47.407 | |
| 7 | 1:48.080 | 1:47.317 | 1:47.543 | |
| 8 | 1:48.655 | 1:47.918 | 1:47.612 | |
| 9 | 1:48.700 | 1:48.051 | 1:48.114 | |
| 10 | 1:47.738 | 1:47.667 | 1:48.263 | |
| 11 | 1:48.751 | 1:48.316 | ||
| 12 | 1:48.800 | 1:48.485 | ||
| 13 | 1:48.748 | 1:48.598 | ||
| 14 | 1:48.901 | 1:48.888 | ||
| 15 | 1:48.876 | 1:49.038 | ||
| 16 | 1:48.554 | 1:49.320 | ||
| 17 | 1:48.949 | |||
| 18 | 1:49.050 | |||
| 19 | 1:49.058 | |||
| 20 | 1:49.071 | |||
| 21 | 1:50.033 | |||
| NC | DNS |
Okay, so the first thing that leaps out at you is that Rio Rainbow Gate is no longer on the grid. It was announced over the summer break that his Indonesian backers hadn't paid Manor in a while, so he was given the boot. Esteban Ocon will forever be reviled by The Pond as a result.
Okay, no, the real first thing that leaps out at you is that Lewis Hamilton is 21st. There's a good reason for this, and it involves one of the slicker cases of rules lawyering I've seen in a while. Here's what's going on. Hamilton has had a bad case of engine problems this season, to the point that he's already burned through the five sets of power unit components he's allocated, yet has half the season remaining. That means he automatically gets a 15-spot grid penalty for each new engine he uses for the rest of the year... and the engine in his car now is well-used. So what some bright spark at Mercedes did is sit down with the Technical Regulations and found a loophole: you get a penalty for each new engine, but the rules don't specifically prevent you from using multiple engines in a race weekend. That's probably what the spirit of the rules were, but not the word.
"I'll take three... and throw in a pair of sunglasses for my dog." - Lewis Hamilton, probably.
So Hamilton used a new engine in P1, P2, and P3. In doing so, he racked up 55 grid spots in penalties... and there's nothing stopping the team from dropping another engine in before the race tomorrow, giving him in effect four free engines. And Mercedes is doing it at a circuit where they are ridiculously strong, so Hamilton is likely to score points despite starting from somewhere near the Spa-La Sauveniere Airport. It makes Fernando Alonso's 35 spot penalty look weak... he's had engine problems all weekend.Really, the rest of the grid looks more or less normal. While Embryo Verstappen looks racy, he's going to be starting on the supersoft tires, while polesitter Nico Rosberg is on softs. This is going to be a major tire race: most teams chose to load up on the supersofts, with Ferrari using half of their tire allotment on the supersofts, and only bringing one set of mediums to boot. However, it's been flat-out hot at Spa-Francopants this weekend, high 80s / low 90s... which is practically unheard of for race weekend. That's disastrous for the supersofts, which weren't even capable of surviving a full qualifying lap before they began to die. If the weather tomorrow is hot, with the cars carrying a full load of fuel, I expect the supersofts to fail by Turn 1.
In other news, the Ringleader of the Legendary Announce Team, Leigh Diffey, has been absent from P2 and Quals coverage, as he reportedly has a case of diverticulitis. While Steve Matchett and David Hobbs did a good job in his absence, particularly Matchett, it's clear they need someone to keep control of the conversation. Which is why NBCSN has a fill-in for the race:
The Varsha. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Original Legendary Announce Team is back together again. I'm actually giddy.
Race in the morning.
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August 26, 2016
Revisiting A Figure
Nearly four years ago now, friend Ben from the curiously named Midnight Tease removed a blight from his figure collection sent a thoughtful gift here to The Pond. Of course, I immediately took photographs... but even as I posted them, I was less than satisfied with the results. Everything was either too dark or too bright, and Rio deserved better, darnit. Well, over at the Anime Figures Subreddit, they run a bi-weekly photography contest and this time around the theme is "Smallest Figure". There's plenty of ways to interpret that, of course, but I went literal... it'd give me a chance to fix one of the Rio shots! Here's the result:
Yeah, that'll do.
click the pic for larger MVCD.
Y'know what helps? Having a camera that can keep up with what your mind sees. That really makes a difference. There's some saturation boost, and a "vignette" effect that you would have thought was just lighting if I didn't mention it, but otherwise, that's the picture the way it came off the SD card. Yeah, that'll do.
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August 25, 2016
That Was A Day, All Right.
Never mind that I was later than I wanted getting into work... because I was dealing with a stomach upset from dinner the previous night. Never mind that the claims during work were awful. Never mind that I was too annoyed at work to enjoy the Cubs game on the radio. And never mind that dinner tonight was awful... how does one ruin rice in a rice cooker anyway?
No, never mind all of that. Because I was actually writing something for the blog this evening and was it was coming along quite nicely when the power went out. It came back after 90 minutes or so, but by that time I had long ago gone to bed. I noticed when the power came back on... there are enough fans in Pond Central to make the place sound like the EAA Fly-In... but just rolled over and fell back asleep. Until now, that is.
Of course, everything I had written was gone. Thanks, ComEd, for having the power go out to 175 accounts for no reason that anybody there could explain! And now I'm going back to sleep, because I've still got over three hours before my alarm goes off.
Yup. That was a day all right.
No, never mind all of that. Because I was actually writing something for the blog this evening and was it was coming along quite nicely when the power went out. It came back after 90 minutes or so, but by that time I had long ago gone to bed. I noticed when the power came back on... there are enough fans in Pond Central to make the place sound like the EAA Fly-In... but just rolled over and fell back asleep. Until now, that is.
Of course, everything I had written was gone. Thanks, ComEd, for having the power go out to 175 accounts for no reason that anybody there could explain! And now I'm going back to sleep, because I've still got over three hours before my alarm goes off.
Yup. That was a day all right.
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August 22, 2016
F1 on TV: Belgium 2016
Well. The alarm has gone off, sun is shining through the window, coffee has been imbibed, and no matter how many ways you try to deny it, summer break is over and it's time for the F1 Circus to get back to work. And that means yours truly has to actually attempt to be clever and witty about something he's covered for 10 years or more. Fortunately, it's easy to write about this race, for it's the Grand Prix of Belgium, and that means we're at Spa-Francopants! Here's the track map for this longest of F1 circuits:
It's only 7km long, a mere pittance to the original 15km brute that had a nasty habit of killing the men racing on it. You sorta have to expect that, what with the "track" actually being public roads, and the only barriers were the occasional haybale. And trees. Lots and lots of trees. Also houses. While it's be awe-inspiring to see a 2016 F1 car on the old layout, much of the awe would come from wondering just when the driver was going to die.
The chances of that result, it must be said, increases as the quality of the weather decreases... and as Spa-Francoamerican is located in the Ardennes Forest, home of its own little microclimate. Rain is common, often on one part of the circuit while the opposite side is bone dry. Makes for fun tire choices, that.
Speaking of fun, the good Walloons of the Legendary Announce Team will be doing their usual level best to bring us their swell coverage. Here's the broadcast schedule:
Friday
Practice 2: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 7a - 830a live on CNBC
Sunday
2016 Grand Prix of Belgium: 630a - 9a live on NBCSN
Of course, all times Pond Central. I leave it up to the reader as a test of their mental acuity to figure out how to manipulate the times for their location. Post no bills. Of course, some time after the race, the Legendary Crew of F1 Update! will present their usual writeup of variable quality. Look forward to it, why don't you?
See ya then!
It's only 7km long, a mere pittance to the original 15km brute that had a nasty habit of killing the men racing on it. You sorta have to expect that, what with the "track" actually being public roads, and the only barriers were the occasional haybale. And trees. Lots and lots of trees. Also houses. While it's be awe-inspiring to see a 2016 F1 car on the old layout, much of the awe would come from wondering just when the driver was going to die.
The chances of that result, it must be said, increases as the quality of the weather decreases... and as Spa-Francoamerican is located in the Ardennes Forest, home of its own little microclimate. Rain is common, often on one part of the circuit while the opposite side is bone dry. Makes for fun tire choices, that.
Speaking of fun, the good Walloons of the Legendary Announce Team will be doing their usual level best to bring us their swell coverage. Here's the broadcast schedule:
Friday
Practice 2: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 7a - 830a live on CNBC
Sunday
2016 Grand Prix of Belgium: 630a - 9a live on NBCSN
Of course, all times Pond Central. I leave it up to the reader as a test of their mental acuity to figure out how to manipulate the times for their location. Post no bills. Of course, some time after the race, the Legendary Crew of F1 Update! will present their usual writeup of variable quality. Look forward to it, why don't you?
See ya then!
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August 18, 2016
Random Anime Picture #122: This Is Fine, Too.
-Re:Zero, Ep06
Why am I watching Re:Zero? Sure, the plot is intriguing, the hero is actually coping with his predicament, what we know of the world is solid enough, and the surrounding characters range from "that's a thing" to "top knotch."
But let's face it: the twin maids Rem and Ram should be arrested for grand theft, for they've bloody well stolen the show for me, for reasons that should be obvious. Does that make me shallow? I can't claim to care.
Because, I mean, damn.
-Re:Zero, Ep06
Why am I watching Re:Zero? Sure, the plot is intriguing, the hero is actually coping with his predicament, what we know of the world is solid enough, and the surrounding characters range from "that's a thing" to "top knotch."
But let's face it: the twin maids Rem and Ram should be arrested for grand theft, for they've bloody well stolen the show for me, for reasons that should be obvious. Does that make me shallow? I can't claim to care.
Because, I mean, damn.
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August 15, 2016
Oh We Gots Trouble...
I have something I'm working on, something that I want to get done for this here blog thing. It's just that, every time I get home from eight hours on the computer, I try to blog and... I find myself distracted by something bright and shiny. Dinner. WoWs. The House Steiner sourcebook (or indeed, any of the Inner Sphere sourcebooks). Re:Zero. Something. So blogginating is taking a back seat to that sort of thing. Unintentionally, I might add... it just keeps happening that way.
So, um, yeah. Bear with me, 'k? I can't promise it'll be worth it, but I can promise there'll be something eventually. Good deal? Good deal.
So, um, yeah. Bear with me, 'k? I can't promise it'll be worth it, but I can promise there'll be something eventually. Good deal? Good deal.
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August 11, 2016
Random Anime Picture #121: It's A Cat. No, Seriously.
-Amanchu, Ep03
I've come to the conclusion that, despite all the talent and skill she has at drawing everything else ever, Kozue Amano simply cannot draw a cat to save her life. Well, that's okay. She gave us ARIA, so she gets a huge free pass in my book.
Really. It's a cat.
-Amanchu, Ep03
I've come to the conclusion that, despite all the talent and skill she has at drawing everything else ever, Kozue Amano simply cannot draw a cat to save her life. Well, that's okay. She gave us ARIA, so she gets a huge free pass in my book.
Really. It's a cat.
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August 08, 2016
The Meaning Of Ichiro
Ichiro Suzuki recently got his 3000th hit in Major League Baseball. This makes him the 30th player in MLB history to accomplish this feat. That's great, but I'm more impressed that he managed this despite not playing in the US until 2001, when he was 27. He's 42 years old now so he did it in 15 seasons-and-change. He had to average right around 200 hits per year to do that.
Along the way, he also won the AL Rookie of the Year in 2001, the AL MVP also in 2001, 10 All-Star games, 10 Gold Gloves in Right Field, has a career .314 batting average, has the single-season hit record (262, in 2004), and for all you statwonks out there, his career WAR currently stands at a tasty 59.9. All of this after playing nine years for the Orix Blue Wave in the NPBL.
That deserves a "Wow".
In tribute to this amazing player, let us revisit his greatest moment ever (may not be entirely safe for work):
Along the way, he also won the AL Rookie of the Year in 2001, the AL MVP also in 2001, 10 All-Star games, 10 Gold Gloves in Right Field, has a career .314 batting average, has the single-season hit record (262, in 2004), and for all you statwonks out there, his career WAR currently stands at a tasty 59.9. All of this after playing nine years for the Orix Blue Wave in the NPBL.
That deserves a "Wow".
In tribute to this amazing player, let us revisit his greatest moment ever (may not be entirely safe for work):
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August 06, 2016
And We're Back!
Did ya miss me?
Hm. Maybe the better question would be "did you notice I was gone?" A week is a long time, even for me! Pond Central's internet connection died Tuesday evening, and it's only now repaired. Getting it functional again required surgery to a bookcase, repairing a wall connection, and practically rerunning the cable from Pond Central to the building's mechanical room. All of which would have been accomplished much sooner if the leasing office hadn't lost my paperwork. Twice.
But we're back now, and I'm sure you're all thrilled to hear it. I did notice that the long-anticipated Rio Olympics got started Friday night with the opening ceremonies, and oh boy just think of the fun I might be able to have with that...
Hm. Maybe the better question would be "did you notice I was gone?" A week is a long time, even for me! Pond Central's internet connection died Tuesday evening, and it's only now repaired. Getting it functional again required surgery to a bookcase, repairing a wall connection, and practically rerunning the cable from Pond Central to the building's mechanical room. All of which would have been accomplished much sooner if the leasing office hadn't lost my paperwork. Twice.
But we're back now, and I'm sure you're all thrilled to hear it. I did notice that the long-anticipated Rio Olympics got started Friday night with the opening ceremonies, and oh boy just think of the fun I might be able to have with that...
Not so different from Olympic beach volleyball, come to think of it. Rio is wearing more, though.
It's good to be back.
Actually, that's very much what it looked like when my modem lit up four greens. Fewer rubber ducks, though.
Actually, that's very much what it looked like when my modem lit up four greens. Fewer rubber ducks, though.
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July 31, 2016
F1Update!: Germany 2016
Okay, let's get this over with. THIS is your F1Update! for the 2016 Grand Prix of Germany.
*LIGHTS OUT: If our opening sentence suggests to you a lack of enthusiasm for this race, you would be quite perceptive. At the start of the race, second-place starting Lewis Hamilton had a good start, but his teammate and primary threat Nico Rosberg did not. In fact, Rosberg's start was awful. The announcers said he had wheel spin off the line, and that's true... in the same way that a top fuel dragster has wheel spin on a burnout. That's right, Rosberg actually laid rubber for maybe 100 feet while the rest of the field stared in awe. We can't imagine that did good things for the tires, and he immediately fell to fourth behind the two Red Bulls.
*RACE OVER: That was all Hamilton needed. By the end of the first lap, he had a 1.5 second lead over Max Verstappen. By Lap 10, it was five seconds, and by Lap 15 it was six. At various points during the race, that lead would grow to 11 seconds but Hamilton would dial his engine back to protect it... he was never in any danger of being challenged.
*GUN, SHOOT FOOT: For all that, Rosberg in theory could have challenged his teammate, if only he could get clear of the Red Bulls. On Lap 28, he stopped for tires, and the following lap Verstappen did as well. The Red Bull driver came out just ahead of the Merc, but the already-warm tires on the German's car meant that he'd have the advantage under braking. In the hairpin, Rosberg made his move, diving inside of Verstappen... and then not bothering to turn until there was no more space available. The Red Bull pilot was forced to leave the track, ere he turn directly into the Mercedes. The track stewards took a dim view of these shenanigans and hit the German with a five second stop-and-go penalty; in this case, Rosberg would pit for new tires on Lap 45 and serve the penalty at the same time. So he came in, hit his spot perfectly... and the pit crew waited five seconds before doing the tire change. Except they didn't... they waited just over EIGHT seconds. It seems the pit wall neglected to start the stopwatch app on their iPhone. No, we're not kidding.
*RANT: This is friggin' ridiculous. Formula 1 has always been a case of one team dominating the rest, and what's going on is nothing out of the ordinary... except coming as it was on top of four dominating Red Bull seasons, three more Mercedes years have been agony. A return to 2009 would be welcome: BrawnGP's Jenson Button won six of the first seven races, but from then on five drivers split the remaining 10 wins... and none of them were named "Jenson Button"! Instead, we get a death march of inevitability, knowing another Mercedes win is just ahead. What's the darn point?
*SUMMER BREAK: The next race is August 28th, at Spa-Francopants. For two weeks, the teams are on complete shutdown: no work in the factories, no sim work, nothing at all. Drivers will go to far-flung locations around the planet, far far away from the races. And we here at F1U! envy and hate them for it. See you in a month, folks!
*LIGHTS OUT: If our opening sentence suggests to you a lack of enthusiasm for this race, you would be quite perceptive. At the start of the race, second-place starting Lewis Hamilton had a good start, but his teammate and primary threat Nico Rosberg did not. In fact, Rosberg's start was awful. The announcers said he had wheel spin off the line, and that's true... in the same way that a top fuel dragster has wheel spin on a burnout. That's right, Rosberg actually laid rubber for maybe 100 feet while the rest of the field stared in awe. We can't imagine that did good things for the tires, and he immediately fell to fourth behind the two Red Bulls.
*RACE OVER: That was all Hamilton needed. By the end of the first lap, he had a 1.5 second lead over Max Verstappen. By Lap 10, it was five seconds, and by Lap 15 it was six. At various points during the race, that lead would grow to 11 seconds but Hamilton would dial his engine back to protect it... he was never in any danger of being challenged.
*GUN, SHOOT FOOT: For all that, Rosberg in theory could have challenged his teammate, if only he could get clear of the Red Bulls. On Lap 28, he stopped for tires, and the following lap Verstappen did as well. The Red Bull driver came out just ahead of the Merc, but the already-warm tires on the German's car meant that he'd have the advantage under braking. In the hairpin, Rosberg made his move, diving inside of Verstappen... and then not bothering to turn until there was no more space available. The Red Bull pilot was forced to leave the track, ere he turn directly into the Mercedes. The track stewards took a dim view of these shenanigans and hit the German with a five second stop-and-go penalty; in this case, Rosberg would pit for new tires on Lap 45 and serve the penalty at the same time. So he came in, hit his spot perfectly... and the pit crew waited five seconds before doing the tire change. Except they didn't... they waited just over EIGHT seconds. It seems the pit wall neglected to start the stopwatch app on their iPhone. No, we're not kidding.
*RANT: This is friggin' ridiculous. Formula 1 has always been a case of one team dominating the rest, and what's going on is nothing out of the ordinary... except coming as it was on top of four dominating Red Bull seasons, three more Mercedes years have been agony. A return to 2009 would be welcome: BrawnGP's Jenson Button won six of the first seven races, but from then on five drivers split the remaining 10 wins... and none of them were named "Jenson Button"! Instead, we get a death march of inevitability, knowing another Mercedes win is just ahead. What's the darn point?
*SUMMER BREAK: The next race is August 28th, at Spa-Francopants. For two weeks, the teams are on complete shutdown: no work in the factories, no sim work, nothing at all. Drivers will go to far-flung locations around the planet, far far away from the races. And we here at F1U! envy and hate them for it. See you in a month, folks!
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Ducks In Motorsports #01
Some five years ago, the Rubbaduck named "Ducktona" joined The Flock.
While Ducktona was actually designed as a way to promote duck races, there's clearly some NASCAR-type stuff goin' on here, too. Now, I've joked once or twice about getting The Pond on a car somewhere (mainly the occasional Red Bull Faces For Charity event), but nothing serious. But Rubbaducks... well, they've got more resources than I do.
Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce The Xfinity Series #74 Dodge Challenger of Mark Harmon, who has just become duckdom's favorite driver! He's one of the small guys, racing on week-to-week sponsorships, and he's probably best known for surviving what is often considered the worst NASCAR accident of all time.
Rubber ducks in racing... once nothing but a dream, now a reality!
While Ducktona was actually designed as a way to promote duck races, there's clearly some NASCAR-type stuff goin' on here, too. Now, I've joked once or twice about getting The Pond on a car somewhere (mainly the occasional Red Bull Faces For Charity event), but nothing serious. But Rubbaducks... well, they've got more resources than I do.
Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce The Xfinity Series #74 Dodge Challenger of Mark Harmon, who has just become duckdom's favorite driver! He's one of the small guys, racing on week-to-week sponsorships, and he's probably best known for surviving what is often considered the worst NASCAR accident of all time.
Rubber ducks in racing... once nothing but a dream, now a reality!
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July 30, 2016
F1 Quals: Germany 2016
Probably as good weather as one could hope for, partly cloudy and just warm enough. No rain this time! So who took advantage of the lovely conditions? Here's the provisional grid for the 2016 Grand Prix of Germany:
Two by two, two by two. If Williams and Force India had gotten into step... well. Polesitter Nico Rosberg had an exciting Q3, suffering an electronics problem right at the start... and Merc only got him out with enough time to do two qualy laps back-to-back, which is NOT standard operating procedure in Q3. Usually it's go out on low fuel, set a time, come back in for new tires and just enough fuel, then go out for another try. Instead, Rosberg went out with enough gas for two hotlaps... and set the pole time on the first shot with the extra weight onboard. Hamilton had a good shot at beating his teammate, but threw it away by locking a tire into the hairpin that is Turn 6.
I don't have high hopes for the Red Bulls mounting a challenge to the Mercedes boys on Sunday... they're too down on horsepower to keep up with the Silver Arrows through the first half of the circuit, and their advantage (if any) in the twistybits isn't big enough to make up the deficit. And Ferrari... I dunno what to think of them anymore. They showed signs of being serious competition earlier in the year, but now? They're just there, y'know?
In other, less important, news, it's quite possible this'll be the last time Rio Olympics is on the grid... the rumors are that his Indonesia sponsorship has gone dry. To be fair, there probably are better people to have in that seat for Manor... ah well. So it goes.
Race in the morning.
| Pos |
Driver | Q1 | Q2 | Q3 |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 1:15.485 | 1:14.839 | 1:14.363 | |
| 2 | 1:15.243 | 1:14.748 | 1:14.470 | |
| 3 | 1:15.591 | 1:15.545 | 1:14.726 | |
| 4 | 1:15.875 | 1:15.124 | 1:14.834 | |
| 5 | 1:15.752 | 1:15.242 | 1:15.142 | |
| 6 | 1:15.927 | 1:15.630 | 1:15.315 | |
| 7 | 1:16.301 | 1:15.623 | 1:15.510 | |
| 8 | 1:15.952 | 1:15.490 | 1:15.530 | |
| 9 | 1:16.169 | 1:15.500 | 1:15.537 | |
| 10 | Not Nasr | 1:16.503 | 1:15.699 | 1:15.615 |
| 11 | ! | 1:15.987 | 1:15.883 | |
| 12 | 1:16.172 | 1:15.909 | ||
| 13 | 1:16.317 | 1:15.989 | ||
| 14 | 1:16.338 | 1:16.041 | ||
| 15 | 1:16.328 | 1:16.086 | ||
| 16 | 1:16.636 | 1:16.665 | ||
| 17 | 1:16.716 | |||
| 18 | 1:16.717 | |||
| 19 | 1:16.876 | |||
| 20 | Olympics | 1:16.977 | ||
| 21 | Not Massa | 1:17.123 | ||
| 22 | 1:17.238 |
Two by two, two by two. If Williams and Force India had gotten into step... well. Polesitter Nico Rosberg had an exciting Q3, suffering an electronics problem right at the start... and Merc only got him out with enough time to do two qualy laps back-to-back, which is NOT standard operating procedure in Q3. Usually it's go out on low fuel, set a time, come back in for new tires and just enough fuel, then go out for another try. Instead, Rosberg went out with enough gas for two hotlaps... and set the pole time on the first shot with the extra weight onboard. Hamilton had a good shot at beating his teammate, but threw it away by locking a tire into the hairpin that is Turn 6.
I don't have high hopes for the Red Bulls mounting a challenge to the Mercedes boys on Sunday... they're too down on horsepower to keep up with the Silver Arrows through the first half of the circuit, and their advantage (if any) in the twistybits isn't big enough to make up the deficit. And Ferrari... I dunno what to think of them anymore. They showed signs of being serious competition earlier in the year, but now? They're just there, y'know?
In other, less important, news, it's quite possible this'll be the last time Rio Olympics is on the grid... the rumors are that his Indonesia sponsorship has gone dry. To be fair, there probably are better people to have in that seat for Manor... ah well. So it goes.
Race in the morning.
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July 29, 2016
Taking The Night Off
Because I'm about ready to be Very Displeased Indeed, so instead, I'm going to withdraw from everything until tomorrow. It's better that way. I mean, right now, I'm that guy at the party...
...and after I leave, nobody will remember I attended. So I'm just going to go away and pretend today, and indeed most of this week, didn't actually occur. Because otherwise I'll be very unhappy indeed. Unhappier. Whatever.
Thank you for your continued patronage of this once thriving, vibrant blog.
...and after I leave, nobody will remember I attended. So I'm just going to go away and pretend today, and indeed most of this week, didn't actually occur. Because otherwise I'll be very unhappy indeed. Unhappier. Whatever.
Thank you for your continued patronage of this once thriving, vibrant blog.
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July 27, 2016
He's Broken Out "wearyduck.jpg", Head For The Hills!
I don't blame you. I would, too. If it wasn't for the unfortunate fact that since it's me involved, I'm sorta stuck.
I don't blame you. I would, too. If it wasn't for the unfortunate fact that since it's me involved, I'm sorta stuck.
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July 26, 2016
F1 on NBCSN: Germany 2016
Germany, ahhh Germany. Home of... um... German things. I'll let you make your own jokes. Me, I'm listening to Rammstein and Kraftwerk and Bowie and if that doesn't make your brain bleed from the awful segues, you're stronger than myself. Also home to the Hockenheimring, this year's site of the Grand Prix of Germany. Here's the track map:
What used to have an epic blast full-speed blast deep into a forest, then turn around and come on back, is now... well, this. Even Tilke couldn't kill all of a good thing, I 'spose... it's not a horrible circuit, just... truncated. Pity.
Oof. I just discovered that the last time F1 raced here was the weekend before I was disposed of by the Bookstore. How nice for me. Of course, last year there was no German Grand Prix, undoubtedly out of sympathy... or because Bernie couldn't get the organizers to cough up another couple million Euros, one of the two.
The Legendary Announce Team will be live from Spargelstraße and their usual crack coverage will be tasty tasty tasty! Here's the broadcast schedule:
Friday
Practice 2: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Sunday
Grand Prix of Germany: 630a - 9a live on NBCSN
All times Pond Central, so don't make the same mistake hundreds of others have made! Set your DVR carefully. If you don't have one, pretend! F1U! will come along sometime afterwards, and then it will be Summer Vacation for the Circus... yay for them!
What used to have an epic blast full-speed blast deep into a forest, then turn around and come on back, is now... well, this. Even Tilke couldn't kill all of a good thing, I 'spose... it's not a horrible circuit, just... truncated. Pity.
Oof. I just discovered that the last time F1 raced here was the weekend before I was disposed of by the Bookstore. How nice for me. Of course, last year there was no German Grand Prix, undoubtedly out of sympathy... or because Bernie couldn't get the organizers to cough up another couple million Euros, one of the two.
The Legendary Announce Team will be live from Spargelstraße and their usual crack coverage will be tasty tasty tasty! Here's the broadcast schedule:
Friday
Practice 2: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Saturday
Quals: 7a - 830a live on NBCSN
Sunday
Grand Prix of Germany: 630a - 9a live on NBCSN
All times Pond Central, so don't make the same mistake hundreds of others have made! Set your DVR carefully. If you don't have one, pretend! F1U! will come along sometime afterwards, and then it will be Summer Vacation for the Circus... yay for them!
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