February 14, 2018

Instructions Unclear, Lung Ejected At Escape Velocity

So while at work on Tuesday I swallowed a piece of crumbly coffee cake before I was quite ready to do so, and it made me cough.  Eh, it happens.  There was still a tickle in my throat a few minutes later, and a swig of Mountain Dew failed to make it go away.  Oh well, whatever.  Coff coff coff, no big deal.  I was still coughing when I left work, but nothing too bad.  Well, there's a cough burning its way through the office, I was like one of five or six people with one.

Once I got home I had something to eat, finished the Kizumonowhatsit post, then took a four-hour nap.  Keep that in mind later.  When I woke up, I hacked and hacked and coughed and groaned.  Whoopsie, I may have a problem here.  Oh, and a headache.  Once I went back to bed, I discovered something rather unfortunate... I couldn't sleep.  There wasn't a single position that allowed me to lie in place without coughing.  Somewhere around six in the morning one was found, finally... and then I was kinda cold. 

Which, considering Pond Central's furnace was kicking out enough heat to power a Colorado-class battleship, was a problem.  Oh, and I was wrapped in two down comforters.  By all rights, I should have been drenched with sweat.  Instead, I was getting cold shivers down my back.  I sorta shook and quivered for an hour or so until my alarm went off, at which point I realized the only real sleep I had gotten... was during that nap earlier.  Oh boy.  The shower was nice and warm, and the massage feature beat the hell out of my scalp, just what Momzerduck's little boy needed.  Or, at least it got me out to the car.  I was breathing a little heavy though, and my pulse was higher than normal.  Well that's weird.

Got to work, was out of breath again by the time I made it to my desk (to be fair, it's roughly six miles from the parking lot to my desk).  Got the computer booting up and began hacking and whooping again.  Oh jeez... this'll be a fun day.  Slammed down a gatorade (blue, the only type we have in the vending machine) and some tylenol and got crackin'.

Within two hours, I had an obvious fever, the coughs were just wracking my throat to no end, and my head was doing the whole "piledriver" thing.  And still I soldiered on.  I took an early lunch break which I stretched to 45 minutes.... hey, 15 minutes extra sleep... and went back to my desk, like a good little worker.

There at my desk, I was feeling cold again so I pulled on the fleece jacket I brought in for just that reason.  Shivers from my feet to my scalp.  This ain't good.  I draped my heavy winter jacket over my shoulders, cloak-style.  Nothing.  You could have set me on fire and I wouldn't have stopped shivering.

After 5h 20m, I gave up.  I knocked on the door to the acting boss' office (note: boss is currently in hospital for pneumonia) and said I had to go to the doctor.  Her reply was "took you long enough.  Let me know what they say."  So away I went to the medical clinic near Pond Central.  The Nurse Practitioner that saw me was cute as a button and looked like she was about 12.  I suspect she was older than that.  Anyway, after a few tests ("let me stick this cotton swab up your nose"), she gave me the news.

I don't have pneumonia, and I don't have the flu.  What I do have is officially listed as "unspecified respiratory infection."  More informally, she said there's a flu-like virus going around the area.  If my virus goes the way of the others she's seen, tomorrow should be the end of the worst of it (which I'm currently in now), and it'll ramp down from there.  I'm not allowed to return to work until I've been 24 hours without a fever though. 

Until then?  Fluids, tylenol, rest, and honey.  Gonna be a long couple of days.

UPDATE: It's 2am Thursday.  I laid down for a couple of hours... very little coughing, but very little sleep.  I sat up in bed and... discovered that my cough has changed.  Before, it was a sharp barking sound occasionally accompanied from strange gargling sound like I was throwing up as I coughed.  I wasn't, by the way.  NOW, though... now my cough is a moist walrus sound.  There is phlegm involved.  This is for the best, I know, but... ugh.  Fever is still there, but it's responding well to tylenol... in that the headache that comes with it is reduced.  How the f*ck can something as small as a stinkin' virus cause so many damn problems???

Posted by: Wonderduck at 09:39 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 821 words, total size 6 kb.

1 Get well soon.

Posted by: Author at February 14, 2018 10:58 PM (h8yX6)

2 Sounds like my kids' coughs. When they move from seal to walrus, it's definitely positive.
I hope you feel better soon! This has been a crappy winter for respiratory viruses. 

Posted by: Mrs. Will at February 15, 2018 05:23 AM (h8yX6)

3 BTW, Haas put out pictures of their car yesterday. I like their new livery. Red Bull is supposed to reveal theirs on Monday, I think. Dunno about the other teams. 

Posted by: Mrs. Will at February 15, 2018 05:25 AM (h8yX6)

4 Feh. No fun at all. Hope you're feeling better in a jiffy!

Posted by: GreyDuck at February 15, 2018 08:10 AM (h8yX6)

5 Mrs Will, I generally don't discuss renders.  In the past, it's happened occasionally but it's been rather rare and the car is usually different when it's actually released.  Having learned from that, I've come to the conclusion that renders aren't worth the time.
Besides, I'm sick.  If Haas ran a F1 car in my parking lot, I don't know that I'd care.

Posted by: Wonderduck at February 15, 2018 09:32 AM (h8yX6)

6 Well, then, I will hope the small caterpillar on Max's upper lip in the video RBR (or AMRBR, if we must) just posted will have a similar fate. 

(I feel sorry for that kid. Have you ever noticed that Red Bull's marketing photography always shoots him with hoodies on or in shadow so his face isn't fully visible? And when they can't avoid showing his face, they Photoshop the crap out of him.)

Posted by: Mrs. Will at February 15, 2018 05:18 PM (h8yX6)

7 Oh my.  I just went and looked up what Max Verstappen looks like right now.  That is NOT a good look for him.

Posted by: Ben at February 15, 2018 09:47 PM (h8yX6)

8 You appear to have gotten the same thing I had (along with a lot of other people I know) back in November and December.  At its worst I spent three days... well, nominally checking  e-mail and otherwise sort of pretending to participate in life, but realistically, for the most part, day-drinking  Nyquil and binge-watching old Law & Order reruns.* 

The night an earache kept waking me up, I went to the doctor (getting an appointment with near miraculous immediacy) and they  hit it hard:  an antibiotic for a secondary ear infection; an albuterol inhaler; prednisone; and some cough medicine from the old days, now enjoying a comeback, that looks like little clear amber pearls. 

A week later, the doc-in-a-box at CVS Pharmacy said, "I don't know what this is but don't care for the way your breathing sounds" and gave me more of the same, except with a different antibiotic, which seemed to finally do the trick. 

The total sting was a lousy though mostly serviceable week and a half amid a noticeably sub-par month.

* Which yielded this golden moment, which I actually looked up online to make sure it wasn't an auditory hallucination.  Our heroes are talking to  the only witness to  the getaway, and he tells them,
I saw a guy come out the back in the alley.
Mean looking. Fancy suit. Like Donald Trump.

(The Torrents of Greed, Part I (1990)

Posted by: Ad absurdum per aspera at February 26, 2018 06:21 PM (h8yX6)

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