October 01, 2008

Ikkitousen Great Guardians OVA 1

So now we come to the most important part of Ikkitousen Great Guardians: the obligatory OVAs.  The question is, of course, how will they be able to top the OVAs for Ikkitousen Dragon Destiny?  They didn't quite hit "hentai" with those, but they couldn't come much closer.  Will they go completely bugnutty this time?  Let's find out!

Why am I thinking "Bergman" right now?
We start with most of the female cast gathered around a table... ooh!  Strip poker, maybe?  For this series, that'd be different, and sure would seem like it'd hold a lot of promise.

I suspect that I AM going to be "entertained".
Hakufu's mom as MC?  This bodes well... or ill, depending on your point of view.  But what is the "Battle Entertainment Club", and just what the heck does it do?

Why did the ice in my glass just melt?
Oh.  Oh my.  Better than strip poker.

Our first victim of "Sexy Cosplay"?

Oh dear.
Who else but the blond haired ditz herself?  It appears that Hakufu has a summer job, as a lifeguard (god help all the swimmers)... and she hates it.

"A life-threatening job."
It's much too hot, and she's sweating a lot.  No wonder she hates it so much.

But by all appearances, it was much better than her other job, that of... WAITRESS!

No, no symbolism there at all.
'Cause y'see, she's clumsy.  The most powerful toushi in Japan, who can practically fly and jump over buildings, then destroy them with a single kick, can't carry a tray of ice cream?  Yes, my friends, it's Ikkitousen Logic!

Can they be more blatant?  If the answer is no, then why not?
Please answer in essay form, and yes, spelling will count.
The amazing thing is that, quite honestly, the animation in this OVA stinks on ice.  The "cosplay" parts are simply still-shots, panned over by the camera.  Even when the characters are speaking, the camera tries as much as possible to move AWAY from the faces, so they don't have to animate the mouth moving.

But wait!  There's still one chance left to save this OVA... throw in an onsen!!!

To be honest, the OVA doesn't do anything the series doesn't, it just does it for a longer time... 15 or 20 seconds at a shot, as opposed to five seconds or so in the series.

So far, the first OVA for Great Guardians just doesn't measure up to the Dragon Destiny OVAs.  However, I'll make sure to keep watching, just to make sure, then I'll keep my readers abreast* of any developments.

*"Abreast."  See?  I made a pun. 

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:47 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 292 words, total size 5 kb.

1 I think it's also a mathematical fact that the last of your pictures is even sexier than either a seifuku or a maid costume.

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at October 02, 2008 11:19 PM (+rSRq)


Can you send me more screen shots of hakufu? please

Posted by: Ton at November 23, 2008 04:39 AM (Y+ABp)

3 No.  If you were a regular on this site, like Steven, Mallory or The Muppet,  for example, then yes, I would take time out of my life to take the screenshots, process them, then e-mail them.

This is the first time you've appeared on this site, however, and it's fairly presumptuous to think that I would take a half-hour to a hour just to please you, a complete stranger, just because you've asked.  I will give you bonus points (three, to be exact) for saying 'please'.

Here's a hint: there's a program out there called 'bittorrent'.  There are other programs called, collectively, 'media players that include screencap capabilities'.  Put them together and you too can have all the pictures you've ever wanted!

By the way, the other reason I'm saying not just no, but 'no, and go stick your head in a steam boiler while you're at it, you insensitive twat,' is that you've asked me to do this on the day my grandmother died.  It's the top post on the blog.  You can't have missed it unless you've a) followed a link here, which means you'll probably never come back, or 2) you're so incredibly dense that you don't care, as long as it doesn't directly affect you.

So, no.  Can't haz screenshotz, not yours.

Posted by: Wonderduck at November 23, 2008 12:02 PM (hplPV)

4 None of us would have asked because we know how to get our own.

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at November 23, 2008 12:04 PM (+rSRq)

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