I was on animesuki.com the other day, hoping that the new episode of Kanon 2006 had been posted, when I saw a listing for the first ep of a new show called 009-1. After a quick read-up on it, I decided "hey, what the heck, why not?" In an alternate history, the world is divided in to the Eastern and Western blocs. For 140 years, an uneasy truce/cold war has existed, but there are forces that want that to end.

Enter our heroine, Jane Bond... er, Mylene Hoffman.

Her job: to rescue Dr. Soyuzu (no, really!) from the clutches of the evil East Bloc, and the evil Information Director Tsundera.

Of course, 009-1 isn't alone... there's the rest of her team:

Oh, and they're all cyborgs. I think. 9-8 has a knee mortar... yes, that's right, she can fire an explosive shell out of her knee. Go ahead and giggle. 9-3, on the other hand, is the intel expert. Note that her eyes are cameras, and she can be linked to just about any bit of electronics (from door locks to space shuttle launch computers) just by plugging a cable into her neck. 9-7 is the disguise expert, able to look like anybody at any time (except that her earrings still stay visible).

So what cyborg ability does 9-1 have? We don't really see in this episode, but this shot from the OP should give you an idea:

I can't even begin to tell you just how loudly this show screams "CHEESE!" From the old skool character designs to the 'No One Lives Forever' spy-babe stylings, this show just oozes 'camp'.

This isn't always a bad thing. The aforementioned game No One Lives Forever, and it's sequel, NOLF 2, spoofed the genre perfectly, while still telling an exciting story. Heck, even the Austin Powers movies got it right. The producers of 009-1 would have done better by watching and playing those examples a lot more than they did (come to think about it, NOLF would make a fine anime...).

This, though... this is not good. Even the fanservice, which could have made this show worthwhile in a juvenile (but fun!) way, is pretty weak.

There are no laughs to be had, nothing that can be taken in a serious manner, and, quite honestly, the characters are paper-thin and uninteresting. The plot, such as it is, has been done before and better.

My standard rule of thumb is "three episodes." If I watch a series, it gets three shows before I give up on it. Not this one.

Two wingtips down, and go watch Dirty Pair instead.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:41 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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