It wasn't as banana-peel wacky as Montreal, but it was still a good race. Let's get to the UPDATIN'!

*TWOFER: Two North American races, two poles, two wins for Lewis Hamilton. He beat Alonso on the drag-race to the first turn (though not without some frolicking by 'Nando), he kept his teammate behind him (though only just barely at one point), and got his second victory in seven days by a small but comfortable margin. There's gonna be some broken china in the McLaren pits tonight...

*SCUDERIA PANIC: Sure, Ferrari came in three-four, not a bad result. But they were FIFTEEN SECONDS BEHIND the McLarens, and on a track that Ferrari has dominated in the past. Even Jean Todt's sweater has got to be worried by now.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE: He didn't get it last week because Kovalenenneinenneinninnie had a miracle race, but there's no way Lewis Hamilton can't be given the DotR award. To beat Alonso, he had to drive a flawless race, and he did. No bobbles, no accidental excursions, as precision a race as any Schumacher did. Perfect. I don't know if he can keep it up, but it's gonna be fascinating watching him try. Honorable mention to Sebastian Vettel, who became the youngest man (and only teenager) to earn a Driver's Championship point today.

*TEAM OF THE RACE: McLaren. 1-2 on the podium, fifteen seconds ahead of their main competition, they let their drivers race each other, AND they give us the quote of the race (Hamilton on radio: "Woo-hoo! Thank you guys, I love you!" Unnamed McLaren Engineer with Deadpan Voice: "We love you too. Now set your engine state to...")? Sign us up! If we at F1 UPDATE! weren't SuperAguri fans...

*MOVE OF THE RACE: Giancarlo Fisichella seemed to be feelin' his oats this week, as he had a couple of nice moments on the track today. First there was his duel with Jenson Button that lasted the entire length of the infield section of the track, which was exciting and the "how do they DO that?" moment of the race. But then, on lap 24, Fisi came upon Man-mountain Wurz . He started his pass going into turn 6, were side-by-side coming out of 6 down the (very) short chute to 7, and in seven forced Wurz to concede the place, giving him a wheel-to-wheel lovetap to prevent him from even thinking of keeping up. A very nice move, requiring a huge pair of... um... gears, and well-deserving of the MotR.

*MOOOOOOOO-OOVE OF THE RACE: That which is the best worst on the track, the Moooooo-oove celebrates the bovine that lurks within all F1 drivers. This one was over early, folks. No contest at all. The run down to the first turn at any Formula One track is always dicey, but Indy seems to inspire huge displays of 'duh' driving. Ralf Schumacher seemed to forget that he had to turn, jumped on the brakes very, VERY late, and his card skidded to the left... right into David Coulthard's Chin and Rubens Barrichello. All three cars, out of the race. Nice job, Ralfy, enjoy your Moooo-ove... you can use it to remember your career by.

*DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE: "Yup, still better than sex." - Lewis Hamilton

"That boy just has his priorities wrong. He should be enjoying sex more and letting me win!" - Fernando Alonso

"The most worthless podium I've ever had." - Felipe Massa

"mrmmblm mrmmbl blmrmrm mrbbllmmrrm." - Kimi Raikkonen

"Who's Nelson Piquet Jr again?" - Heikki Kovaleneinenneininnie

"When I finished the race I asked more than once ‘are you sure I finished sixth?’ because I couldn’t believe it!" - Jarno Trulli (note: real quote)

"Yeah, I was seventh. Got a problem with that or something?" - Mark Webber

"What were you doing when you were 19?" - Sebastian Vettel (with apologies to Bob Varsha, who repeated that line all friggin' weekend)

"Eh. At least I got the Move of the Race." - Giancarlo Fisichella

"RARGH! WURZ SMASH!!! I’m now looking forward to Magny-Cours." - Man-mountain Wurz (note: real quote, and you're the only one, mate.)

"I would have been able to go faster if they took that darn stuffed animal off my nose." - Ant Davidson (note: in memory of the Montreal Marmot Massacre, SuperAguri had a stuffed groundhog perched on Ant's car all week. We think they should paint a shillouette of it under his cockpit...)

"I used to be fast..." - Jenson Button

"This year, I made it past Turn 1. I hope the USA is proud of me!" - American Scott Speed

"The Legendary Announce Team said that I'm going to be picked up by a better team next year! Woohooooo! They like me, they really really like me!" - Adrian Sutil

"Spyker was supposed to be a step up from Minardi for me..." - Christijan Albers

"Lump go boom! Fire bad." - Nico Rosberg

"Can't hear you, iPod's too loud." - Vitantonio Liuzzi

"No power steering. No gearshifting. No hydraulics. Here's a shock: the car let me down again." - Grizzly Nick Heidfeld

"Nekolitter." - Takuma Sato (who also suffered the stupidest penalty the FIA has ever given out: a 10-spot reduction in the standings. That means he officially came in 29th out of 22 cars... who will suffer a 10-spot grid penalty for France... thanks to Pete for pointing out the error; the continuity department will be sacked)

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Pants." - David Coulthard's Chin

"AIEEEEE*hic*EEEEEEEEE!" - Rubens Barrichello

"Zzzzzzzzzzzz*bam*zzzzzzzzzzzwha?" - Ralf Schumacher

So that's it, in a nutshell! Be with us on July 1st for the annual sleep aid known as the French Grand Prix from Magny-Cours. At least we have the consolation prize of knowing that it'll be the last race at Magny-Cours for the foreseeable future!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 04:50 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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