April 14, 2013
*GRAPHS AND CHARTS: There were actually two races going on today: the one on-track, and the one on the tires. Those who started on the Soft tires and got off them at the beginning of the race, i.e., most everybody, had one race going on. Those few who started on the Medium tires and chose to pit late in the race for the Soft rubber (Vettel, Button, Hulkenberg) had the other race, which turned out to be for the fastest non-podium position. That meant that we had the weird image of Hannibal Vettel leading the race on track, but in fourth position on the pit rotation.
*THE RACE IN GENERAL: Meh. Once the first pit stop to get off the Soft tires occurred, it became something of a processional. HWMNBN passed Shiv Hamilton on Lap 5 using the DRS system, and though we didn't realize it at the time, that was the end of the race right there. The Ferrari was just awesome today, pretty much dominating the field. Vettel would take the lead on the pit stops, but when the Ferrari wound up passing the Red Bull despite the difference in tires, it was clear who had the best car. When Vettel finally stopped to get his Soft tires, he was nearly eight seconds behind HWMNBN on track... but nearly 30 seconds behind on paper. He re-emerged in fourth, 12 seconds behind Shiv Hamilton. While he would eat that up, closing to less than an half-second behind in five laps, but the Soft tires turned into the legendary jelly donut just as he was getting ready to make a move for the podium. HWMNBN led Kimi Raikkonen by 10 seconds at the checkered flag, and the Finn led Shiv by two seconds to complete your podium.
*FINAL JUDGEMENT: What was the race like? We here at F1U! kept falling asleep. In the middle of the day.
*DRIVER OF THE RACE: HWMNBN got his first win in 13 races. Just hugely dominant.
*TEAM OF THE RACE: Ferrari. They finished 1st - 6th, closed the gap to Red Bull in the constructor's championship to just a few points, and generally dominated the day. What more could you want?
*MOVE OF THE RACE: On Lap 5, we had the image of HWMNBN and teammate Felipe Massa behind the Silver Arrow of Shiv Hamilton as they turned onto the start/finish straight.
The Spaniard made quick work of the Brit with his DRS advantage (the FIA added a second DRS zone late; the front straight), clearing the road for his Brazilian teammate.
While Shiv did everything he could to keep Massa behind, weaving across the track (legally!), the result looked inevitable.
...and sure enough, Massa outmuscled the Merc into Turn 1, slapping Hamilton in the face and handing him a two-position loss... to the SAME TEAM... in one straightaway. Bravo, Ferrari. Here's your shared Move of the Race!
*MOOOOOO-OOOOVE OF THE RACE: There can be only one.
Sauber's Esteban Gutierrez, in a odd attempt to get past the McLaren of Sergio Perez, decided that he didn't really need to break for a turnOHCRAPFORCEINDIA!!! The Sauber was out on the spot, Adrian F'n Sutil managed to make it back to the pits with a deranged rear wing, at which point the hydraulic fluid for the DRS dripped onto the hot brakes and caught fire. Nicely done, Gutierrez! Welcome to the big show, here's a Mooooo!
*SELECTED DRIVER QUOTES OF THE RACE:
"Heh. I win." - HWMNBN
"mrmrdfldmmdmdml mdmlrbmdmmmmdbl mdmdldmldmlmmbll." - Kimi Raikkonen
"I had that third place locked up. Never worried, not for a second. How close is he now?" - Shiv Hamilton
"I want to eat your kidneys! BRRRAAAGGHGHGHHHH!!!!" - Hannibal Vettel
"Not so bad... smoke and mirrors, but not so bad." - Jenson Button
"How did I end up down here? It's a mystery!" - Felipe Massa
"People said it couldn't be done, but yet there I was, a Toro Rosso in Q3. And today, I'm in the points. See, kids? Eat your vitamins and it can happen to you!" - Daniel Ricciardo
"Och, hoot mon, where's me Loch Lomond? It's a sair fecht." - Paul di Resta
"I used to be fast. Now I'm safe. And slow." - Lettuce Grosjean
"Meh! Hulk poke." - Nico Hulkenberg
Right. That's it for China... next weekend, we're in Bahrain! See ya there!
Posted by: Wonderduck at
07:27 PM
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