September 11, 2005

F1 UPDATE: SPA!!!

What the hell was that? I'll admit, it was extremely entertaining, but wow, it's incredible what a little water can do to the neat, tidy world of Formula 1. Lets take a look in the Songs About Weather version of F1 UPDATE!

*Here Comes The Rain Again: The weather at Spa is always questionable, and today's race was all about the water. The track was never really dry, but neither was it entirely wet. This meant that teams were willing to take shots at dry tires, usually with terrible results. The F1 Update crew was laughing out loud after the Safety Car came out and EVERYBODY dove for the pit lane... it looked like a confused version of a NASCAR pitstop! Great move by Kimi Raikkonen to run slowly into the pits, allowing his teammate JP Montoya to get in and out before he arrived... very clever, since other teams wound up having to stack their cars, more than doubling the time required.

*I'm Only Happy When It Rains: Bridgestone thought they were in the catbird seat... they had the better intermediate tire, and Ferrari actually seemed to have a chance to do well this time around. It didn't exactly work out that way, as we'll see later.

*Driver Of The Race, or "Mr. Blue Sky": Jensen Button, BAR-Honda. In a race that his team has never scored points in, he got himself a podium, and was only a second or two behind Fernando Alonso at the finish line. An exceedingly professional drive, making you wonder "what if" about the beginning of the season for BAR-Honda. I don't think it's a stretch to suggest that Button could easily be in the Driver's Championship race (third?) if things had gone a little differently.

*Team Of The Race, or "Riders on the Storm": Sauber-Petronas. I'm sure everybody is wondering just what F1 Update! is smoking right now. Stop wondering, and we'll explain. Only three teams had both cars running at the end of the race: Sauber, Jordan, and Minardi. Sauber had the best finishing combination of the three at 6/10, with Jordan getting 8/11 and Minardi 12/13. A solid race for the Sauber group, with Jack NewTown earning the points and Felipe Massa DESERVING points, but denied them by the team taking a chance with dry tires that led to a wild ride (for one lap).

*Move Of The Race, or "Thunder Road": Jensen Button gets the award here for his pass of NewTown on lap 24. The Pouhon Corner isn't an easy place to pass, doing it around the outside makes it even tougher, and Jack drives one of the widest cars in F1. Nevertheless, Button just made it look easy. Indeed, his pass on Barrichello in the Bus Stop late in the race almost took this award, too. Special Honorable Mention goes to Narain Karthekeyan for his (ahem) lively pass on (guess who?) Jacques Villeneuve on lap 28. You know, the one that found the Indian driver doing some agricultural racing before going completely airborne, yet STILL not damaging the car, then runnng away. Any incident that can make the Legendary Announce Team go silent in awe MUST be good!

*Mooooo-ve of the Race, or "Fool In The Rain": Mitchell Schumacher, Ferrari. Oh, yes, we at F1 Update! are quite aware that BAR-Honda's Takuma 'Suicide' Sato ran into the back of Schumi's car, putting them both out. And yes, we're aware that Sato has been penalized 10 positions for Brazil. We believe that agressive racing such as Sato's is what F1 is missing, and to be honest, it wasn't THAT bad a move. No, Herr Schumacher earns this award for getting out of his car, walking over to Sato's vehicle, and slapping the other driver TWICE. Bad, Mitchell, very bad. There's no call for that sort of thing... and you should have waited until he took his helmet off, you idiot.

*Mooooo-ve of the Week II, or "Idiot Wind.": Last week's driver of the week, Antonio 'Jungle Boy' Pizzonia is going to have to share this week's award. Who knew that Pizzonia is drawing a paycheck from Renault, too? His bonehead antics took out JP Montoya FOUR laps from the end of the race, handing Renault a gift second place, and taking the lead in the Constructor's Championship away from McLaren, all in one swell foop. As Captain Haddock would put it, "Billions of Blistering Blue Barnacles, what were you thinking, you cowering Coleocanth?"

Quotes of the Race will be delayed until Monday for headache-based reasons. Tune in then for the conclusion of this week's F1 UPDATE!!!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 03:44 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Excellent partial F1 Update!!! I was anxious to read your reaction to the Sato/Schumey dust up.

Silly me for thinking that Mitchell would have been fined for unsportsmanlike conduct when they said that accident was under review.

Posted by: Mallory at September 12, 2005 05:18 AM (M7kiy)

2 I just love Schumi's sense of sportsmanship. It HAPPENS, Mitchell. Heck, YOU'VE done it in the past, INTENTIONALLY. No reason to slap someone's helmet because he crashed into you.

Moron.

Posted by: Wonderduck at September 12, 2005 05:21 PM (6krEN)

3 Sato is so finished in F1 now I suspect. Shame because he is blazingly fast (when he remembers to brake)

Posted by: flotsky at September 14, 2005 11:30 PM (6T2ID)

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