February 15, 2018

Alien Rammed Ovipositor Down My Throat?

No.  Not big enough for that.  I did just launch something about three inches long and about twice as wide as a pencil out of my mouth.  It took close to 15 minutes of coughing to get it out of my lungs, and I was surprised to see it was roughly the color of vanilla pudding.  I mean, I like vanilla pudding and all, but at no time have I given commands to my body saying "generate vanilla pudding".

Right, sorry, sorry.  Ah.  Now I want vanilla pudding.  I could even justify it by saying it'll sooth my sore throat.  Sadly, I've already had groceries delivered today... I was nearly out of food and, more importantly, liquids.  And cough drops.  And, much to my chagrin, honey.  $100 later, I am no longer out of food, liquids, cough drops and honey.  Only now, some eight hours after the delivery arrived, I realize I need some other things.  And I'm definitely still sick enough to not want to do very much.  Well, let's look at Amazon, shall we?

Pfeh.  The only pudding they carry is the need-to-make packs (too much work) and that pudding cup that doesn't need to be refrigerated (terrifying).  Well, while I'm here, I'll just pre-order those manga volumes that come out on Tuesday.  And that, dear friends, is about all I'm good for now.  I'm pretty sure the fever has flared up again, and I just want to go back to sleep.  Which I may just do.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 06:34 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 255 words, total size 2 kb.

1 "something about three inches long and about twice as wide as a pencil"
That is the most horrifying-sounding lung cookie I've ever heard of!

Posted by: Rick C at February 15, 2018 07:42 PM (h8yX6)

2 Ewwwwww.

Vanilla pudding does sound nice right now, though.

Posted by: GreyDuck at February 15, 2018 09:47 PM (h8yX6)

3 I'm sorry to hear you're sick.  Rest up and get better soon!  And if it cheers you up, remember that it can always be worse.  As one early Sluggy Freelance comic put it "Did I say *face* hugger?  Oof, someone get that man a proctologist, stat!"

Posted by: David at February 16, 2018 01:20 PM (h8yX6)

4 Was the thing that you coughed up inert, or did it run away under its own power? 

Hope you feel better soon!

Posted by: Narrina at February 16, 2018 08:12 PM (h8yX6)

5 That would be a great title for a Chuck Tingle book, only it would involve the opposite end.....  

Posted by: Mauser at February 17, 2018 06:38 PM (h8yX6)

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