June 19, 2015
However, this time came with an added complication. All day Thursday, not only did I feel blech, but I was also bloody emotional. Example: I watched an episode of Later... with Jules Holland that I had DVR'd that had a great lineup of acts: Norah Jones, Sting, Jay-Z, a Canadian hammer-style guitarist that just was impressive as hell, a generic group that sounded perfect for coffeehouses around the world... and the Foo Fighters, who were the real reason I was there. All of them on the same soundstage at one time. Jones did a couple of songs that I recognized from the Duck U Bookstore and they sounded much like their studio recordings. Sting's just weird. Jay-Z did a really slick version of "Empire State of Mind" with a live band that moved him up a few notches in my estimation. But the Foos just killed it. They played three songs while everybody else got two, and every single time they began playing, I began crying. Not "teenage girls at a Beatles concert" crying, just "too much damn emotion" crying. Hell, earlier that day I saw a particularly cute picture of a cat, I said "kitty!" and bawled my eyes out for a few minutes. That stuff ain't right.
But why? I mean, yeah, I wasn't feeling great, but that doesn't make me all weepy. I mean, it's not like the flu includes that in its symptoms: nausea, headache, runny nose, weepyness, body aches, lethargy.... And then I woke up Friday morning. I had a headache. Joint pain and muscle aches. Ah. Yay. I really am unwell, it's not entirely in my mind. Spiffy. And then it hit me... I start the new job on Monday. Could this be my brain's reaction to that? I mean, the past 11 months have been... really, not so bad. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't really care to repeat them anytime soon, not without having so much money in the bank account that I'd never have to work ever again, but y'know? Its been kinda cool not having to do anything for a year. But the end is coming up fast, and my brain might be reacting. Crap.
I don't have time to be stressed. I need to be 100% for Monday. I can't be sick. I need to do laundry. I need to go shopping for little incidental stuff. I... I need my year back.
Posted by: Wonderduck at
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When I changed jobs a month ago, a week in, I nearly had a nervous breakdown. I was in such a state that the Shift Pharmacist ordered me home, and not to come back for 48 hours.
It was a pause that made all the difference.
Since then, after I turn off my '97 pickup in the parking garage, I take 1-2 minutes and pray: I cannot - cannot - do this alone. I ask for help, and that my cross for that night shift be no more than I can carry. So far, it's working.
If you're not Christian, that's fine; I'll pray for you, too. You'll be fine, WD. All of us are pulling for you.
Posted by: Clayton Barnett at June 20, 2015 03:06 AM (lU4ZJ)
Seriously, don't let other imagined opinions affect your assessment of your self-worth. We're pulling for you, amigo!
Posted by: The Old Man at June 20, 2015 07:44 AM (o6+UC)
Posted by: Suburbanbanshee at June 21, 2015 05:59 AM (ZJVQ5)
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