May 24, 2012
F1 Practice: Monaco 2012
Well, in the televised Practice 2, it rained. It rained just enough to be too wet for slick tires, but not enough for the intermediate rain tires. In racing parlance, the circuit was "greasy," except greasy at Monaco is a different cup of meat from anywhere else. As the Legendary Announce Team pointed out, at its heart the Principality of Monaco is still a functional fishing village. Okay, yes, it's the richest fishing village in the world, but the harbor isn't always filled with yachts. And working harbors need trucks, and buses, and street cars, and Vespas, and they all drip and spit and hork oil and radiator fluid and transmission fluid and the stuff that goes in the windshield wiper tank, and all of this cocktail of maliciousness winds up being leeched out of the asphalt when it rains. And F1 tires don't like it much.
Which explains why seemingly half the field ended up sliding into the runoff area at Mirabeau in the course of ten minutes towards the end of the session. The bad news is that it isn't supposed to rain on race day. The good news is that Quals could be wet, and that's almost as good. Could we see Heikki Kovaleinninninnie on pole?
Only if he doesn't blow another engine. He managed to bring P1 to an end nine minutes early when his lump went kablammo! and he killed every mosquito in the Tunnel. Unfortunately, the smoke just sort of lingered in the enclosed space. Combined with the oil he spilled, that was enough for the track marshals to throw the red flag and end the session early.
So to recap: the teams are going into a Quals session on the most difficult circuit on the calendar having gotten roughly nothing as far as data collection goes from the Practice session that's used for setting up the car, while knowing that there's probably going to be a 180° swing in weather conditions just to make things interesting.
I suspect that at times like these, the mantra up and down the pit lane is "if it was easy, everybody could do it." Should make for fun watching, that's for sure... but we'll have to wait until Saturday. See ya then!
Which explains why seemingly half the field ended up sliding into the runoff area at Mirabeau in the course of ten minutes towards the end of the session. The bad news is that it isn't supposed to rain on race day. The good news is that Quals could be wet, and that's almost as good. Could we see Heikki Kovaleinninninnie on pole?
Only if he doesn't blow another engine. He managed to bring P1 to an end nine minutes early when his lump went kablammo! and he killed every mosquito in the Tunnel. Unfortunately, the smoke just sort of lingered in the enclosed space. Combined with the oil he spilled, that was enough for the track marshals to throw the red flag and end the session early.
So to recap: the teams are going into a Quals session on the most difficult circuit on the calendar having gotten roughly nothing as far as data collection goes from the Practice session that's used for setting up the car, while knowing that there's probably going to be a 180° swing in weather conditions just to make things interesting.
I suspect that at times like these, the mantra up and down the pit lane is "if it was easy, everybody could do it." Should make for fun watching, that's for sure... but we'll have to wait until Saturday. See ya then!
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May 21, 2012
F1 on SPEED!: Monaco 2012
Monaco. The world's second-smallest sovereign country at 0.79 square miles. Home of the world's highest life expectancy: 90 years. The lowest unemployment rate in the world: 0.00%. The average GDP per capita is $172,676, unsurprisingly the highest in the world. Also unsurprisingly, real estate prices are out of this world in Monaco: just over $56,000 per square meter. Despite being smaller than the entire campus of Duck U., its banks hold just over €100 billion in funds.
Sounds like a great place to have a little car race. Here's the track map for the 2012 Grand Prix of Monaco:
There is no more famous F1 race than Monaco, nor one more prestigious. Indeed, it is undoubtedly on the short list for the title of "Greatest Car Race," with the other two entries in racing's unofficial "triple crown," the Indianapolis 500 and the 24 Hours of LeMans. Though the track is, without a doubt, the most dangerous and perhaps worst on the F1 calendar in terms of actual racing, it still appears on the calendar every year... because everybody involved loves it.
This is F1's only original-style street circuit. To be sure, the track at Valencia meanders its way through that city's harbor area, but over extra-wide tarmac designed to be raced upon. Singapore runs hither and yon through that city-state's Marina Bay district, but is wide and airy in comparison to Monaco. Here, the streets are narrow, lined with Armco and covered with oil from leaky trucks and buses. You might be able to get three cars side-by-side, not that anybody would be stupid enough to actually try that. Two cars is the functional limit, and only with a steely glare, clenched teeth, a firm jaw, and dozens of brooms standing by to clean up the carbon fiber shards. It's a circuit where a mistake, no matter how small, usually ends up with a car in the wall.
It's the slowest circuit on the calendar, with two turns forcing the cars to go as slow as 45 miles/hour or less. The fastest point on the track would be through the famous tunnel section, where the cars will get up to 160-170mph before heading quickly downhill into the simply-named Chicane. It was here that saw Nico Rosberg narrowly avoid a tremendous accident last year, and Sergio Perez pointedly not avoid one. As a result of those mishaps, there have been some changes made to the circuit in that area. The hideous bump at the exit of the tunnel that's been the cause of so many wrecks in the past few years has been removed (allegedly), and the TecPro barrier that Perez hit has been moved back about 30 yards. The rest of the circuit remains unchanged.
As is usual, the bon hommes of SPEED's Mythique Annoncent Equipe will be bringing us the usual superior coverage of every session. Here's the schedule:
THURSDAY
P1: 3a - 430a streaming
P2: 7a - 840a live
SATURDAY
P3: 4a - 5a streaming
Quals: 7a - 830a live-ish
SUNDAY
Grand Prix of Monaco: 630a - 9a live.
Yes, Thursday. As is tradition at Monaco, Practices are on Thursday, Friday is a "quiet" day, certainly to let the residents of the Principality come home (or head for the hills).
F1Update! should be here all weekend, so stay tuned!
Sounds like a great place to have a little car race. Here's the track map for the 2012 Grand Prix of Monaco:
There is no more famous F1 race than Monaco, nor one more prestigious. Indeed, it is undoubtedly on the short list for the title of "Greatest Car Race," with the other two entries in racing's unofficial "triple crown," the Indianapolis 500 and the 24 Hours of LeMans. Though the track is, without a doubt, the most dangerous and perhaps worst on the F1 calendar in terms of actual racing, it still appears on the calendar every year... because everybody involved loves it.
This is F1's only original-style street circuit. To be sure, the track at Valencia meanders its way through that city's harbor area, but over extra-wide tarmac designed to be raced upon. Singapore runs hither and yon through that city-state's Marina Bay district, but is wide and airy in comparison to Monaco. Here, the streets are narrow, lined with Armco and covered with oil from leaky trucks and buses. You might be able to get three cars side-by-side, not that anybody would be stupid enough to actually try that. Two cars is the functional limit, and only with a steely glare, clenched teeth, a firm jaw, and dozens of brooms standing by to clean up the carbon fiber shards. It's a circuit where a mistake, no matter how small, usually ends up with a car in the wall.
Right, Tabac. Left, the run to Beau Rivage.
It is also the F1 circuit that allows for the most glorious visuals on the calendar. Nowhere else can a fan get so close to the track than Monaco... if you have the cash, the cafe at Anthony Noghes is the most exclusive seat in the world, unless you prefer to moor your yacht in the harbor (and you're lucky enough to win a Zone 1 slot for the weekend)? It's the slowest circuit on the calendar, with two turns forcing the cars to go as slow as 45 miles/hour or less. The fastest point on the track would be through the famous tunnel section, where the cars will get up to 160-170mph before heading quickly downhill into the simply-named Chicane. It was here that saw Nico Rosberg narrowly avoid a tremendous accident last year, and Sergio Perez pointedly not avoid one. As a result of those mishaps, there have been some changes made to the circuit in that area. The hideous bump at the exit of the tunnel that's been the cause of so many wrecks in the past few years has been removed (allegedly), and the TecPro barrier that Perez hit has been moved back about 30 yards. The rest of the circuit remains unchanged.
As is usual, the bon hommes of SPEED's Mythique Annoncent Equipe will be bringing us the usual superior coverage of every session. Here's the schedule:
THURSDAY
P1: 3a - 430a streaming
P2: 7a - 840a live
SATURDAY
P3: 4a - 5a streaming
Quals: 7a - 830a live-ish
SUNDAY
Grand Prix of Monaco: 630a - 9a live.
Yes, Thursday. As is tradition at Monaco, Practices are on Thursday, Friday is a "quiet" day, certainly to let the residents of the Principality come home (or head for the hills).
F1Update! should be here all weekend, so stay tuned!
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May 20, 2012
K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K
A couple of days ago, Kerry Wood announced his retirement from Baseball. He spent most of his 14-year career with the Chicago Cubs, and is the perfect example of potential derailed. He was 20 years old in 1998 when he got the call to The Show. He threw a 100mph fastball, a slider that looked like it was remote controlled, and a curve that didn't so much fall off a table as fall off the top of a very tall building, the sky seemed to be the limit for "Kid K." Tommy John surgery took the 1999 season, but he came back from that to be just as dominant as before.
Except he wasn't really dominant. He just couldn't stay healthy, going on the Disabled List 14 times in 13 years (not counting his lost 1999), and his career record reflects that: 86-75. His best single season was 2003, when he went 14-11, 266 strikeouts, a 3.20 ERA, and was named to the NL All-Star team, leading the team to the NL Championship series.
When he was on, there was nobody better, but as injuries continued to mount (a torn rotator cuff being the worst, but with elbow difficulties and a knee hurt getting out of a jacuzzi thrown into the mix), he was moved into the bullpen. In 2008, he signed with the Cleveland Indians, being traded to the Yankees in 2010. Joining the Bronx Bombers for their pennant run on the last day of July, he showed that he still had a bit left in the tank, going 2-0 with a 0.69 ERA in 24 appearances as the setup man for the Yankees closer, Mariano Rivera.
He resigned with the Cubs for 2011, then for 2012, but after one last stint on the DL, he came in this past Friday for his last appearance, getting a strikeout to the only batter he faced. It was 1582nd strikeout in 1370.6 innings, which puts him 2nd all-time in strikeouts per 9 innings (10.317), behind only Randy Johnson (10.609). He was also the 1998 Rookie of the Year and holds the Major League record for strikeouts in a 9-inning game, with 20. Below is a video of every K from that particular game, May 6, 1998:
Before you think "Oh, it was just the Houston Astros, big deal," be aware that Houston went 102-60 and won the NL Central by 12.5 games. This was the season of the "Killer 'B's" (Mike Bagwell, Craig Biggio, Derek Bell), plus Moises Alou to boot. In short, this was a heckuva lineup that he took on... heck, Bell was leading the NL in batting average when he became the 20th strikeout. And he made them look silly. Look at that final pitch.
I was running a RadioShanty when this game took place, and was fortunate enough to have a satellite dish on the roof of the store... that picked up WGN. Every TV in the place had the game on, and as the innings ticked off, I got less and less work done. By the time of the 9th inning, there were seven other people watching the game with me: a few customers, a few employees of other stores.
This game is widely considered the best pitching performance ever. Yes, better than any perfect game, better than any no-hitter. The one hit he did give up was an infield single that could have easily been called an error. He also hit a batter, but Craig Biggio was hit by 285 pitches in his career (2nd all-time). If he hadn't've given up a hit already, there's no way he would have been pitching that far inside on him. No walks, 20Ks, zero runs. If it isn't the best start of all time, it's far and away the best I've ever seen.
It was also his fifth career start.
Except he wasn't really dominant. He just couldn't stay healthy, going on the Disabled List 14 times in 13 years (not counting his lost 1999), and his career record reflects that: 86-75. His best single season was 2003, when he went 14-11, 266 strikeouts, a 3.20 ERA, and was named to the NL All-Star team, leading the team to the NL Championship series.
When he was on, there was nobody better, but as injuries continued to mount (a torn rotator cuff being the worst, but with elbow difficulties and a knee hurt getting out of a jacuzzi thrown into the mix), he was moved into the bullpen. In 2008, he signed with the Cleveland Indians, being traded to the Yankees in 2010. Joining the Bronx Bombers for their pennant run on the last day of July, he showed that he still had a bit left in the tank, going 2-0 with a 0.69 ERA in 24 appearances as the setup man for the Yankees closer, Mariano Rivera.
He resigned with the Cubs for 2011, then for 2012, but after one last stint on the DL, he came in this past Friday for his last appearance, getting a strikeout to the only batter he faced. It was 1582nd strikeout in 1370.6 innings, which puts him 2nd all-time in strikeouts per 9 innings (10.317), behind only Randy Johnson (10.609). He was also the 1998 Rookie of the Year and holds the Major League record for strikeouts in a 9-inning game, with 20. Below is a video of every K from that particular game, May 6, 1998:
I was running a RadioShanty when this game took place, and was fortunate enough to have a satellite dish on the roof of the store... that picked up WGN. Every TV in the place had the game on, and as the innings ticked off, I got less and less work done. By the time of the 9th inning, there were seven other people watching the game with me: a few customers, a few employees of other stores.
This game is widely considered the best pitching performance ever. Yes, better than any perfect game, better than any no-hitter. The one hit he did give up was an infield single that could have easily been called an error. He also hit a batter, but Craig Biggio was hit by 285 pitches in his career (2nd all-time). If he hadn't've given up a hit already, there's no way he would have been pitching that far inside on him. No walks, 20Ks, zero runs. If it isn't the best start of all time, it's far and away the best I've ever seen.
It was also his fifth career start.
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May 18, 2012
Not Really Missing It...
...but I guess I'll be coming back.
...but I guess I'll be coming back.
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May 15, 2012
Weary
I'm weary of all of it. I'll be back later.
(this post is in lieu of what I really want to say)
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May 13, 2012
F1 Update!: Spain 2012
Though there had been a threat of rain, the weather at Barcalounger was perfect, as is usual. In the 21 year history of this track, the winner of a non-rain F1 race has been the pole-itter every time save one... and that one rogue win came from 2nd on the grid. So when Williams' Primate Maldonado led the field to the grid, he had to be feeling pretty confident. Was that confidence misplaced, or would it prove to be well-founded? THIS is your F1Update! for the 2012 Grand Prix of Spain!
*LIGHTS OUT: The run from the starting line to the first turn at the Circuit de Catalunya is one of the longest in F1. There's always something of a mad sprint to the first corner at the start of any F1 race, but in Spain it's even more frantic than usual. Maldonado decided that he really wanted to cut Ferrari's HWMNBN, #2 on the grid, off at the pass, such as it was, so right off the bat he began to drift over to driver's right. The Ferrari driver was having none of it and drove straight ahead, letting the Williams take the (slightly) longer route to the first turn. When they reached the right-hander, HWMNBN had the inside line, a miniscule lead, and position: in short, he had taken the lead. A lead he would not relinquish during the first stint. Indeed, it looked like a Ferrari runaway was in store as the Spaniard, buoyed by the screams of his home fans, pulled away to a two second lead and more.
*THEN: The first round of pitstops came early, beginning on Lap 8 as the soft tires, used in Quals the previous day, began to go off very quickly. HWMNBN came in on Lap 11 for hard tires, as did Maldonado the following lap. On Lap 13, however, something with impossible-to-forsee consequences occurred when Mercedes' Slappy Schumacher, looking to get past Maldonado's teammate at Williams, Bruno Senna, instead drove directly into the rear of the car.
Both cars then went directly into the kittylitter and were out of the race. While the immense amount of debris on track seemed to beg for a safety car to be deployed, nothing of the sort happened. Schumacher's radio call of "...what an idiot!" indicated who he thought caused the incident, but Slappy was the one penalized five grid places for the next race.
*FURTHERMORE: On Lap 24, Maldonado, unable to close with the Ferrari, dove into the pits for a new set of hard tires and emerged in third, behind HWMNBN and the Lotus of Kimi Raikkonnen. With a relatively clear track ahead of him, he rips off two fast laps in a row. At the same time, HWMNBN was struggling to get through traffic before he pitted from the lead on Lap 26.
After a clean stop by Ferrari, as HWMNBN was making his way back to the racing surface, he was passed by Primate Maldonado for second place... effectively, the lead, as Raikkonnen still needed to pit, which he did on Lap 28.
*CONTINUING: And that's how it stayed until late in the race: Maldonado in the lead, HWMNBN as many as seven seconds behind. Then the Ferrari began to slowly claw back some time on the Williams, cutting the lead down to just under two seconds with four laps to go. However, Raikkonen was on the charge as well, taking over a second a lap off of HWMNBN at the same time. It quickly became apparent that the two-time World Champion, in his attempt to track down the Williams driver, had burned his tires off the car. Gone were hopes of winning the race; all that was left was holding onto second position. On the penultimate lap, the Lotus driver hacked two full seconds off of the gap to 2nd place and looked ready to do the same on Lap 66. In the end, HWMNBN managed to keep Mumbles seven-tenths of a second behind. But four seconds ahead of the two, Primate Maldonado had become the fifth winner in five races this season, the first Venezuelan to ever win a F1 race, and had led Williams F1 to victory for the first time since 2004... all of which occurred the day after Sir Frank Williams, team owner, turned 70.
*AND THEN: As is usual in F1, a team victory photo was taken, made extra-special by it being a first victory for the driver and the first win by the team after such a long time of mediocrity or worse.
As Sir Frank Williams addressed the team, thanking them for their efforts, there was an orange flash of light from the team pit box.
Immediately, thick black smoke began to pour out of the garage as flames billowed up. Mechanics hurriedly dove for fire extinguishers while non-essential personnel cleared the area. Emergency fire hoses were brought into play from both sides of the garage area.
Mechanics from the entire pitlane were involved in assisting with the fire fighting efforts. Some 31 people were treated by the circuit medical staff, with seven people from three teams being sent to local hospitals for their injuries. The worst we here at F1U! have heard of so far is a broken wrist (as twittered by Heikki Kovaleinninninnie) suffered by a Caterham mechanic.
The chassis of Bruno Senna's car, brought in after being run over by Slappy Schumacher, was in the garage and looked... well, pretty good, actually. The garage itself, on the other hand, is going to be something of a total writeoff, most likely, mostly from water damage. One shudders to think how a relatively small team like WilliamsF1 will be able to replace it all, though there are reports of the other teams already being willing to donate equipment. Initial reports suggested a KERS-induced fire, though this was later changed to a fuel blaze. We'll keep you updated as more comes out.
*DRIVER OF THE RACE: Pastor Maldonado. Like there was any doubt? He didn't panic after being passed at the beginning, kept his tires fresher than HWMNBN, never put a wheel wrong... well-deserved. One might ask whether he would have won if Hamilton had been on pole, but that didn't happen.
*TEAM OF THE RACE: Williams, despite the fire.
*MOVE OF THE RACE: Maldonado passing HWMNBN, Lap 26/27. (see above)
*MOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE: Slappy Schumacher running into Bruno Senna. (see above)
*SELECTED DRIVERS QUOTES OF THE RACE:
more...
*LIGHTS OUT: The run from the starting line to the first turn at the Circuit de Catalunya is one of the longest in F1. There's always something of a mad sprint to the first corner at the start of any F1 race, but in Spain it's even more frantic than usual. Maldonado decided that he really wanted to cut Ferrari's HWMNBN, #2 on the grid, off at the pass, such as it was, so right off the bat he began to drift over to driver's right. The Ferrari driver was having none of it and drove straight ahead, letting the Williams take the (slightly) longer route to the first turn. When they reached the right-hander, HWMNBN had the inside line, a miniscule lead, and position: in short, he had taken the lead. A lead he would not relinquish during the first stint. Indeed, it looked like a Ferrari runaway was in store as the Spaniard, buoyed by the screams of his home fans, pulled away to a two second lead and more.
*THEN: The first round of pitstops came early, beginning on Lap 8 as the soft tires, used in Quals the previous day, began to go off very quickly. HWMNBN came in on Lap 11 for hard tires, as did Maldonado the following lap. On Lap 13, however, something with impossible-to-forsee consequences occurred when Mercedes' Slappy Schumacher, looking to get past Maldonado's teammate at Williams, Bruno Senna, instead drove directly into the rear of the car.
Both cars then went directly into the kittylitter and were out of the race. While the immense amount of debris on track seemed to beg for a safety car to be deployed, nothing of the sort happened. Schumacher's radio call of "...what an idiot!" indicated who he thought caused the incident, but Slappy was the one penalized five grid places for the next race.
*FURTHERMORE: On Lap 24, Maldonado, unable to close with the Ferrari, dove into the pits for a new set of hard tires and emerged in third, behind HWMNBN and the Lotus of Kimi Raikkonnen. With a relatively clear track ahead of him, he rips off two fast laps in a row. At the same time, HWMNBN was struggling to get through traffic before he pitted from the lead on Lap 26.
After a clean stop by Ferrari, as HWMNBN was making his way back to the racing surface, he was passed by Primate Maldonado for second place... effectively, the lead, as Raikkonnen still needed to pit, which he did on Lap 28.
*CONTINUING: And that's how it stayed until late in the race: Maldonado in the lead, HWMNBN as many as seven seconds behind. Then the Ferrari began to slowly claw back some time on the Williams, cutting the lead down to just under two seconds with four laps to go. However, Raikkonen was on the charge as well, taking over a second a lap off of HWMNBN at the same time. It quickly became apparent that the two-time World Champion, in his attempt to track down the Williams driver, had burned his tires off the car. Gone were hopes of winning the race; all that was left was holding onto second position. On the penultimate lap, the Lotus driver hacked two full seconds off of the gap to 2nd place and looked ready to do the same on Lap 66. In the end, HWMNBN managed to keep Mumbles seven-tenths of a second behind. But four seconds ahead of the two, Primate Maldonado had become the fifth winner in five races this season, the first Venezuelan to ever win a F1 race, and had led Williams F1 to victory for the first time since 2004... all of which occurred the day after Sir Frank Williams, team owner, turned 70.
*AND THEN: As is usual in F1, a team victory photo was taken, made extra-special by it being a first victory for the driver and the first win by the team after such a long time of mediocrity or worse.
As Sir Frank Williams addressed the team, thanking them for their efforts, there was an orange flash of light from the team pit box.
Immediately, thick black smoke began to pour out of the garage as flames billowed up. Mechanics hurriedly dove for fire extinguishers while non-essential personnel cleared the area. Emergency fire hoses were brought into play from both sides of the garage area.
Mechanics from the entire pitlane were involved in assisting with the fire fighting efforts. Some 31 people were treated by the circuit medical staff, with seven people from three teams being sent to local hospitals for their injuries. The worst we here at F1U! have heard of so far is a broken wrist (as twittered by Heikki Kovaleinninninnie) suffered by a Caterham mechanic.
The chassis of Bruno Senna's car, brought in after being run over by Slappy Schumacher, was in the garage and looked... well, pretty good, actually. The garage itself, on the other hand, is going to be something of a total writeoff, most likely, mostly from water damage. One shudders to think how a relatively small team like WilliamsF1 will be able to replace it all, though there are reports of the other teams already being willing to donate equipment. Initial reports suggested a KERS-induced fire, though this was later changed to a fuel blaze. We'll keep you updated as more comes out.
*DRIVER OF THE RACE: Pastor Maldonado. Like there was any doubt? He didn't panic after being passed at the beginning, kept his tires fresher than HWMNBN, never put a wheel wrong... well-deserved. One might ask whether he would have won if Hamilton had been on pole, but that didn't happen.
*TEAM OF THE RACE: Williams, despite the fire.
*MOVE OF THE RACE: Maldonado passing HWMNBN, Lap 26/27. (see above)
*MOOOOO-OOOVE OF THE RACE: Slappy Schumacher running into Bruno Senna. (see above)
*SELECTED DRIVERS QUOTES OF THE RACE:
more...
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Mother's Day 2012
Call your mom today. Hug her if you can. Tell her you love her.
Because some of us aren't able to anymore.
Call your mom today. Hug her if you can. Tell her you love her.
Because some of us aren't able to anymore.
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May 12, 2012
F1 Quals: Spain 2012
Well, that was unexpected... which, considering how this season is going, I probably should have expected. Let's get the mental conundrums behind us and take a look at the provisional grid for Sunday's Grand Prix of Spain:
We'll cover the most obvious bit first: Lewis Hamilton, who earned pole by nearly a half-second over the surprising Williams of Primate Maldonado, has a big black "DSQ" by his name. That stands for "Disqualified," which is what he was from the Qualifying session. After he made his final pole run, the McLaren engineering mavens told him to pull over on-track. Y'see, there is a rule saying that a car must have a liter of fuel presented for scrutineering after Quals, and it appears that the team maybe didn't put enough gas into the MP4-27 to get him all the way around and be able to provide that liter. However, there's another rule in Quals: a car must be able to return to the pits under its own power, except in cases of force majure. In FIA-speak, that means if the car breaks down on the way back to the pits, it's not in violation of the rules, essentially.
McLaren immediately said to the stewards that running out of fuel was a case of force majure. The stewards, quite rightly, laughed in their faces, stating that the amount of gas in the tank was entirely up to McLaren, and if they didn't have enough to get him around that was their problem. They then said that he was out of Quals. He'll still be allowed to participate in the race though, as long as he starts 24th.
So this gives Primate Maldonado his first ever pole, and Williams their first pole since the 2010 Brazilian Grand Prix. This result, however, was no surprise. He was obviously quick all day, it was just a question if it would be fast enough to beat Hamilton. As it turned out, it wasn't, but in a way it was.
The other surprise in Quals was that both Mark Webber and Jenson Button went out in Q2, caught in the pits with safe lap times... safe until a large cloud moved over the circuit and lowered the temperature of the asphalt around about 1°C, or just enough to make the soft tires come alive. Heck, Seb Vettel went from 2nd to 8th in Q2 in the space of a commercial break as the track just got faster and faster. He got away with it, Webber and Button didn't.
We're still awaiting word as to whether or not Kittylitter will be allowed to race; when he DID get to run in practice, he was setting times well within the 107% rule. In Quals, he had all sorts of technical issues that really prevented him from showing a representative time. We'll see, but my guess is that he'll get to run.
Race in the morning, F1U! sometime thereafter!
We'll cover the most obvious bit first: Lewis Hamilton, who earned pole by nearly a half-second over the surprising Williams of Primate Maldonado, has a big black "DSQ" by his name. That stands for "Disqualified," which is what he was from the Qualifying session. After he made his final pole run, the McLaren engineering mavens told him to pull over on-track. Y'see, there is a rule saying that a car must have a liter of fuel presented for scrutineering after Quals, and it appears that the team maybe didn't put enough gas into the MP4-27 to get him all the way around and be able to provide that liter. However, there's another rule in Quals: a car must be able to return to the pits under its own power, except in cases of force majure. In FIA-speak, that means if the car breaks down on the way back to the pits, it's not in violation of the rules, essentially.
McLaren immediately said to the stewards that running out of fuel was a case of force majure. The stewards, quite rightly, laughed in their faces, stating that the amount of gas in the tank was entirely up to McLaren, and if they didn't have enough to get him around that was their problem. They then said that he was out of Quals. He'll still be allowed to participate in the race though, as long as he starts 24th.
So this gives Primate Maldonado his first ever pole, and Williams their first pole since the 2010 Brazilian Grand Prix. This result, however, was no surprise. He was obviously quick all day, it was just a question if it would be fast enough to beat Hamilton. As it turned out, it wasn't, but in a way it was.
The other surprise in Quals was that both Mark Webber and Jenson Button went out in Q2, caught in the pits with safe lap times... safe until a large cloud moved over the circuit and lowered the temperature of the asphalt around about 1°C, or just enough to make the soft tires come alive. Heck, Seb Vettel went from 2nd to 8th in Q2 in the space of a commercial break as the track just got faster and faster. He got away with it, Webber and Button didn't.
We're still awaiting word as to whether or not Kittylitter will be allowed to race; when he DID get to run in practice, he was setting times well within the 107% rule. In Quals, he had all sorts of technical issues that really prevented him from showing a representative time. We'll see, but my guess is that he'll get to run.
Race in the morning, F1U! sometime thereafter!
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May 11, 2012
F1 Practice: Spain 2012
Lots of little things today from the world of F1, now centered wholly in Barcalounger, Spain, so let's get right to the news bits so I can crawl into bed and pass out before Duck U's graduation on Saturday.
First up, since this is the first time F1 has been in Europe this year, we've seen a proliferation of new parts appearing on the cars all up and down the pit lane. The biggest and most obvious change has to be McLaren. As you may remember, this is what the MP4-27 looked like at the pre-season rollout:
Well, here's what it looks like now:
No optical illusion here; the nose is substantially higher than it was. Of course, McLaren is trumpeting this as if it's the second coming of active suspension and ground effects. Well, actually, they aren't, but they do think that the simple act of putting the nose u[ a few inches will account for roughly 20% of their downforce improvement. Now, they didn't mention just how much improvement there was, but Jenson Button was fastest in P2 today. Then again, how big a shock is that?
What was a surprise was the man driving the Caterham in P1 today.
For the first time since American Scott Speed was unceremoniously booted from Toro Rosso on July 31st, 2007 (replaced by a young German named Seb Vettel), the Stars and Stripes are being represented in F1. Alexander Rossi of Auburn California got his first taste of a F1 weekend when he sat in for Heikki Kovaleinninninnie in the morning session. While he finished nearly a second behind The Red Menace, he wasn't out there for ultimate top speed. These practice sessions are more and more replacing testing, so he was basically told to go out and run laps at such-and-such a pace... and that's what he did. There's a school of thought that he'll be driving for Caterham next year... how cool would that be?
In "roll your eyes, big surprise" news from P2 today, Narain Kittylitter, out for most of P1 with an electrical fault, made it a grand total of three corners in his HRT before he suffered an electrical failure. Good to see that HRT is doing their level best to be the level best they can be.
Quals tomorrow, report sometime in the afternoon, after I get home from selling last minute cap'n'gowns to panicky Duck U Grads-to-be!
First up, since this is the first time F1 has been in Europe this year, we've seen a proliferation of new parts appearing on the cars all up and down the pit lane. The biggest and most obvious change has to be McLaren. As you may remember, this is what the MP4-27 looked like at the pre-season rollout:
Well, here's what it looks like now:
No optical illusion here; the nose is substantially higher than it was. Of course, McLaren is trumpeting this as if it's the second coming of active suspension and ground effects. Well, actually, they aren't, but they do think that the simple act of putting the nose u[ a few inches will account for roughly 20% of their downforce improvement. Now, they didn't mention just how much improvement there was, but Jenson Button was fastest in P2 today. Then again, how big a shock is that?
What was a surprise was the man driving the Caterham in P1 today.
For the first time since American Scott Speed was unceremoniously booted from Toro Rosso on July 31st, 2007 (replaced by a young German named Seb Vettel), the Stars and Stripes are being represented in F1. Alexander Rossi of Auburn California got his first taste of a F1 weekend when he sat in for Heikki Kovaleinninninnie in the morning session. While he finished nearly a second behind The Red Menace, he wasn't out there for ultimate top speed. These practice sessions are more and more replacing testing, so he was basically told to go out and run laps at such-and-such a pace... and that's what he did. There's a school of thought that he'll be driving for Caterham next year... how cool would that be?
In "roll your eyes, big surprise" news from P2 today, Narain Kittylitter, out for most of P1 with an electrical fault, made it a grand total of three corners in his HRT before he suffered an electrical failure. Good to see that HRT is doing their level best to be the level best they can be.
Quals tomorrow, report sometime in the afternoon, after I get home from selling last minute cap'n'gowns to panicky Duck U Grads-to-be!
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May 09, 2012
Random Anime Picture #70: Sloths in Anime #5
-Polar Bear Cafe, Ep03
A llama, an okapi a tapir, an otter and a sloth walk into a cafe...
As animals go, having a sloth appear in an anime seems to be a rather unlikely choice. I'm not sure why I started noticing them (maybe because they're a rather unlikely choice?), but notice them I have. Not gonna threaten the rubber ducks in anime category anytime soon, but...
-Polar Bear Cafe, Ep03
A llama, an okapi a tapir, an otter and a sloth walk into a cafe...
As animals go, having a sloth appear in an anime seems to be a rather unlikely choice. I'm not sure why I started noticing them (maybe because they're a rather unlikely choice?), but notice them I have. Not gonna threaten the rubber ducks in anime category anytime soon, but...
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May 07, 2012
F1 on SPEED!: Spain 2012
It has been a while since Bahrain, hasn't it? Still, the form of motorsport that we all love/like/tolerate/whichever is back with the opening race of the so-called European Leg of the calendar. That's right, F1 is returning to Barcelona, Spain! Let's take a look at the track map, shall we?
On the whole, I don't mind the Circuit de Catalunya. In many ways, it's a very good track. It's a mildly challenging circuit, but not so hard as to be difficult to drive. It's fast, but not so fast as to ignore low-speed handling. It's a relatively new track, being opened in 1991, but not so new as to have the taint of Hermann Tilke hanging over it. It's not a particularly good circuit for passing, but it has its moments, and with KERS/DRS there's enough to entertain. Yet there hasn't been a good dry race at Barcalounger in a decade, if not longer. What's the problem?
The problem is twofold. One, THERE IS NO PROBLEM. It's a run-of-the-mill track, meaning in effect that it's dull as dishwater. It's just... there. I've never really heard a driver praise the circuit much, nor trash it. In the world of the F1 Circus, decked out in a tent of thousands of colors, Barcalounger is a uniform beige.
The second problem is that it's such an average track, in such a generous climate as Spain, that every team loves to go to the test sessions there, and indeed, F1 has tested there every year the layout has been open. The upshot to this is that there will never, ever, be a surprise here. The teams know the placement of every bump in the circuit, every crack in the asphalt, they know the chemical makeup of the paint used on the curbs, hell, even what type of kittylitter is used in the run-off areas. Because they know everything there is to know, there's nothing the track can do to affect the race itself. That's good, in a way, as it leaves it up to the cars and drivers... but when the cars are so close in performance, and the drivers are the same way, it becomes a simple processional, guaranteed. There IS a chance of rain in the forecast for Sunday, so there is that.
Whichever way it goes, los hombres buenos de la SPEED will be bringing us their usual excellent coverage, both online and on TV. Here's the schedule:
Friday:
P1: 3a - 430a streaming
P2: 7a - 840a live
Saturday:
P3: 4a - 5a streaming
Quals: 7a - 830a plausibly live
Sunday:
Grand Prix of Spain: 630a - 9a live
Of course, F1Update! will be all over it, just like Wonderduck is all over a duck chow enchilada with a side order of refried beans. See ya then!
On the whole, I don't mind the Circuit de Catalunya. In many ways, it's a very good track. It's a mildly challenging circuit, but not so hard as to be difficult to drive. It's fast, but not so fast as to ignore low-speed handling. It's a relatively new track, being opened in 1991, but not so new as to have the taint of Hermann Tilke hanging over it. It's not a particularly good circuit for passing, but it has its moments, and with KERS/DRS there's enough to entertain. Yet there hasn't been a good dry race at Barcalounger in a decade, if not longer. What's the problem?
The problem is twofold. One, THERE IS NO PROBLEM. It's a run-of-the-mill track, meaning in effect that it's dull as dishwater. It's just... there. I've never really heard a driver praise the circuit much, nor trash it. In the world of the F1 Circus, decked out in a tent of thousands of colors, Barcalounger is a uniform beige.
The second problem is that it's such an average track, in such a generous climate as Spain, that every team loves to go to the test sessions there, and indeed, F1 has tested there every year the layout has been open. The upshot to this is that there will never, ever, be a surprise here. The teams know the placement of every bump in the circuit, every crack in the asphalt, they know the chemical makeup of the paint used on the curbs, hell, even what type of kittylitter is used in the run-off areas. Because they know everything there is to know, there's nothing the track can do to affect the race itself. That's good, in a way, as it leaves it up to the cars and drivers... but when the cars are so close in performance, and the drivers are the same way, it becomes a simple processional, guaranteed. There IS a chance of rain in the forecast for Sunday, so there is that.
Whichever way it goes, los hombres buenos de la SPEED will be bringing us their usual excellent coverage, both online and on TV. Here's the schedule:
Friday:
P1: 3a - 430a streaming
P2: 7a - 840a live
Saturday:
P3: 4a - 5a streaming
Quals: 7a - 830a plausibly live
Sunday:
Grand Prix of Spain: 630a - 9a live
Of course, F1Update! will be all over it, just like Wonderduck is all over a duck chow enchilada with a side order of refried beans. See ya then!
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) and it means I can keep up with what is going on.May 06, 2012
The Adventures Of Tintin
Before last year, if you said the word "Tintin" to someone here in the US, it was most likely that you'd get a blank look in reply. To be sure, there were a few who knew of the stories of the boy journalist, but they're more a European thing. I was one of the lucky ones. I was introduced to the Tintin books at the age of three or four, and I taught myself how to read to them. Just a few steps away from my computer, there are some 16 of the books, terribly worn but well-loved. Most are the Little-Brown translations, but there are a few of the first Methuen ones mixed in. It's no exaggeration to say that I owe much of what I am to that small collection of "graphic novels," along with Monty Python's Flying Circus and the works of Robert Heinlein.
Some four years ago, some reports began to leak out of Hollywoodland of a major motion picture treatment of Tintin. It was to be live action, then it turned into a traditional animation project, until it was announced that WETA Digital had been tabbed to do an all-motion-capture movie instead. To be honest, I had incredibly mixed feelings about all of it. On one hand, I've literally waited all my life for a good Tintin motion picture. On the other hand, I've waited all my life for a Tintin motion picture, and I was afraid that whomever took it on would royally screw it up. Even reports that Stephen Spielberg was directing did nothing to assuage my trepidation. Indeed, my fears grew as more and more information came out: it was to be based on the two-book story, The Secret of the Unicorn/Red Rackham's Treasure... which happens to be my second-favorite of the Tintin stories (Destination Moon/Explorers on the Moon have the honor of being my favorite). There are also elements of The Crab with the Golden Claws mixed in as well. When the movie was released in December 2011, I discovered that I couldn't bring myself to go see it. Part of it was that I hate going to the movie theater, what with the talking and the cellphones and so on. The other part was simple fear. I knew I'd see it eventually, but I wanted to do it on my terms... and that meant when the DVD came out. Which it did a couple of months ago. Last week, I purchased it. So what did I think?
I need not have worried. It's a very, very good representation of Herge's work. In the extras, Spielberg says that when Raiders of the Lost Ark was released in France, it was described as a Tintin adventure, and he worked hard to bring that same sort of excitement to this film. For those who have never heard of Tintin before, it'd be a fun action romp filled with interesting characters.
It's an odd fact that the one character that isn't motion-captured is the most expressive of the cast. Snowy, Tintin's dog/partner, is 100% animated, yet fits perfectly in the world. In the original stories, we read his thoughts via word balloons. In the movie he's not allowed to speak, but you always know what's going on in his mind. Snowy is a virtuoso performance by WETA, and it really makes the movie work. If you're a Tintin fan, you owe it to yourself to see The Adventures of Tintin. If you're not, but you're looking for a good two hour action-filled romp that doesn't require a whole ton of thought and is kid-safe to boot, it's a good film for you. There is some violence, particularly during the pirate sequence, but no blood or inappropriate language.
I really enjoyed the movie... more importantly, the five-year old me that learned to read with Tintin is satisfied.
Some four years ago, some reports began to leak out of Hollywoodland of a major motion picture treatment of Tintin. It was to be live action, then it turned into a traditional animation project, until it was announced that WETA Digital had been tabbed to do an all-motion-capture movie instead. To be honest, I had incredibly mixed feelings about all of it. On one hand, I've literally waited all my life for a good Tintin motion picture. On the other hand, I've waited all my life for a Tintin motion picture, and I was afraid that whomever took it on would royally screw it up. Even reports that Stephen Spielberg was directing did nothing to assuage my trepidation. Indeed, my fears grew as more and more information came out: it was to be based on the two-book story, The Secret of the Unicorn/Red Rackham's Treasure... which happens to be my second-favorite of the Tintin stories (Destination Moon/Explorers on the Moon have the honor of being my favorite). There are also elements of The Crab with the Golden Claws mixed in as well. When the movie was released in December 2011, I discovered that I couldn't bring myself to go see it. Part of it was that I hate going to the movie theater, what with the talking and the cellphones and so on. The other part was simple fear. I knew I'd see it eventually, but I wanted to do it on my terms... and that meant when the DVD came out. Which it did a couple of months ago. Last week, I purchased it. So what did I think?
I need not have worried. It's a very, very good representation of Herge's work. In the extras, Spielberg says that when Raiders of the Lost Ark was released in France, it was described as a Tintin adventure, and he worked hard to bring that same sort of excitement to this film. For those who have never heard of Tintin before, it'd be a fun action romp filled with interesting characters.
Captain Haddock and Tintin
For those of us who know the stories, Spielberg took the time to throw in a ton of references while staying mostly true to the original work. There are bottles of Loch Lomond whiskey rolling around, for example. Thompson and Thomson visit Tintin
Sadly, the biggest weakness of the film is the one thing that made it possible: the motion capture technology. It's gotten good enough that we're in "uncanny valley" territory. For the most part, the look works, but there are moments, such as the motorcycle chase late in the film, where it just looks wrong. Thompson and Thomson, the not-twin detectives, are disappointing as well. While they look very much like their comic-book counterparts, they have a goofy semi-realistic style that doesn't fit with the rest of their mo-cap world. I don't know that there's anything that could be done about that short of removing them from the story, but there you are.It's an odd fact that the one character that isn't motion-captured is the most expressive of the cast. Snowy, Tintin's dog/partner, is 100% animated, yet fits perfectly in the world. In the original stories, we read his thoughts via word balloons. In the movie he's not allowed to speak, but you always know what's going on in his mind. Snowy is a virtuoso performance by WETA, and it really makes the movie work. If you're a Tintin fan, you owe it to yourself to see The Adventures of Tintin. If you're not, but you're looking for a good two hour action-filled romp that doesn't require a whole ton of thought and is kid-safe to boot, it's a good film for you. There is some violence, particularly during the pirate sequence, but no blood or inappropriate language.
I really enjoyed the movie... more importantly, the five-year old me that learned to read with Tintin is satisfied.
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May 05, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep07
Last episode, we experienced the quintessential HSotD experience. If someone came up to me and said "what is HSotD all about," Ep06 is the one I'd show them. If you remember correctly, and I think you do, The Fellowship had taken refuge in the house of Boing-chan's friend, up-armed themselves, oh and the wimmenfolk took a bath. At the end of it, however, a barking dog had drawn a horde o' undead to their doorstep.
Meet another J Random Survivor. We will call him Skippy for the duration of his stay with us. Skippy is armed with an over-under shotgun, what many might call the perfect zombie-hunting weapon. These unnamed "many" would be wrong, because over-under shotguns are usually single-shot weapons. Well, dual-shot as there are two single-shot barrels, but Skippy here, quite wisely I'd think, is using both barrels on his undead targets. Anyway, Skippy, possessing all the tactical genius of a fly that landed on a copy of Sun Tzu's "Art Of War" once, is running around blasting zombies and making whole metric farktons of noise in the process. Drawing more undead to him. Seeing that he has to reload after every shot, this may not be the brightest idea he's ever had. Eventually, the inevitable occurs: he fumbles a shell. At this point, near as I can tell, a shotgunner has four options: 1) let it go, man, 'cause it's gone, and shoot one barrel; 2) pull another shell out of your pocket; 3) feets don't fail me now; 4) come to a complete halt, bend down to pick the dropped shell up off the ground, and let the zombies gather around you. What would you do?
Since I've named him Skippy, you can guess which choice he made. But he picked up the hell outta that shell, and a good job it was, too! It was the best job of picking something up off the ground that you ever did see, going back to when some kid named Arthur pulled a sword outta a random rock somewhere. Art got a kingdom out of it, though. Skippy here, well, at least he makes an appearance in this episodic review. That's gotta count for something!
The death of Skippy is also noted by Hirano, Saeko and Takashi, who are up on the balcony munching popcorn and generally enjoying the show, safely far above the gathering hordes. Well, not really. They note that "it's getting worse" out there. Our Hero is all for going out there and trying to save everybody. Saeko gently but firmly points out to him that he's a FRIGGIN' MORON. Not only are they gonna have to deal with the undead hordes, but sooner or later, living people will notice that there's an awful nice safe spot up there and come a-callin'... and they don't have the resources to save them all. Or even themselves, quite possibly.
Oh yeah. Forgot about that little detail, didn't you?
more...
Meet another J Random Survivor. We will call him Skippy for the duration of his stay with us. Skippy is armed with an over-under shotgun, what many might call the perfect zombie-hunting weapon. These unnamed "many" would be wrong, because over-under shotguns are usually single-shot weapons. Well, dual-shot as there are two single-shot barrels, but Skippy here, quite wisely I'd think, is using both barrels on his undead targets. Anyway, Skippy, possessing all the tactical genius of a fly that landed on a copy of Sun Tzu's "Art Of War" once, is running around blasting zombies and making whole metric farktons of noise in the process. Drawing more undead to him. Seeing that he has to reload after every shot, this may not be the brightest idea he's ever had. Eventually, the inevitable occurs: he fumbles a shell. At this point, near as I can tell, a shotgunner has four options: 1) let it go, man, 'cause it's gone, and shoot one barrel; 2) pull another shell out of your pocket; 3) feets don't fail me now; 4) come to a complete halt, bend down to pick the dropped shell up off the ground, and let the zombies gather around you. What would you do?
Since I've named him Skippy, you can guess which choice he made. But he picked up the hell outta that shell, and a good job it was, too! It was the best job of picking something up off the ground that you ever did see, going back to when some kid named Arthur pulled a sword outta a random rock somewhere. Art got a kingdom out of it, though. Skippy here, well, at least he makes an appearance in this episodic review. That's gotta count for something!
The death of Skippy is also noted by Hirano, Saeko and Takashi, who are up on the balcony munching popcorn and generally enjoying the show, safely far above the gathering hordes. Well, not really. They note that "it's getting worse" out there. Our Hero is all for going out there and trying to save everybody. Saeko gently but firmly points out to him that he's a FRIGGIN' MORON. Not only are they gonna have to deal with the undead hordes, but sooner or later, living people will notice that there's an awful nice safe spot up there and come a-callin'... and they don't have the resources to save them all. Or even themselves, quite possibly.
Oh yeah. Forgot about that little detail, didn't you?
more...
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May 04, 2012
"...You Need To WRITE!"
I said that just a couple o' days ago, didn't I? And here I am, not writing for a couple of days. Just shows how lucky I really did get. I've got plenty of things to write about, just not plenty of time, what with the end of the school year coming next week. Of course, that means lil' ol' Wonderduck is gonna be awful darn busy, but never fear! There will be HSotD ep07 on Saturday, then something special on Sunday (assuming everything goes smoothly)... and then we're back into the F1 groove on Monday. But until Saturday, here's this:
That's all.
That's all.
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May 02, 2012
GOTCHA!
The USS Phoenix (CL-46) was a Brooklyn-class light cruiser built for the US Navy in 1938. She was considered a light cruiser because her main armament consisted of 6" guns; 8" rifles were the hallmark of the heavy cruiser. However, there weren't many ships of any fleet that would want to get within range of a Brooklyn: she carried fifteen Mark 16/47 guns in five triple turrets. While that armament wouldn't sink a battlewagon, it'd chew the upperworks to pieces.
The Phoenix had an adventuresome war from the get-go. She spent nearly the entire time in the Pacific (other than a quick run to Casablanca in 1943, to deliver SecState Cordell Hull to a meeting), and was at Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941. She herself suffered barely any damage throughout the conflict, losing only one man to enemy action (near as I can tell, that is). When the Surrender was announced, she was heading to the US for a refit. She then officially joined the Atlantic Fleet just long enough to be transferred to the Reserve Fleet (Philadelphia) in 1946. Where she sat until 1951, which is when she was sold.
To Argentina, who renamed her ARA 17 de Octubre. Shortly after the coup that overthrew Juan Peron, the Argentinian Navy gave her the name under which she became famous:
The General Belgrano. During the Falklands War, on May 2nd, 1982, she was involved in maneuvers against the oncoming fleet of Royal Navy ships. Thought to be part of a pincer operation with the 25 de Mayo, an ex-RN CVL carrying A-4 Skyhawks, if the Belgrano could close with the thin-skinned RN vessels, there'd be serious butchery at sea. Modern vessels aren't armored the way they used to be; the Belgrano was built like a bank vault in comparison to the Type 42 destroyers and the various frigates she'd be facing. She was a serious threat. And the Brits had a serious way of dealing with her: the nuclear-powered submarine HMS Conqueror, which had been shadowing the Belgrano for 36 hours. Once given the go-ahead, she fired three WWII era torpedoes at the cruiser.
The second hit her forward of "A" turret, carrying away 40 feet or so of her bow. The third missed altogether, though it carried on and dented an Argentinian frigate (no explosion) some distance away. The first torpedo hit just behind the side armor plating, penetrated into the hull of the ship, then detonated. The explosion vented the boiler room to the sea, which began flooding immediately. It also blew out vertically, destroying two mess halls and a recreational area before taking out a 60 foot chunk of the main deck.
After her remaining crew had abandoned ship, the General Belgrano rolled on her ends, then sunk stern first. 770 crew were later rescued, a nigh-on miraculous feat, considering that her escorts never knew she was in trouble and sailed away.
The Phoenix had an adventuresome war from the get-go. She spent nearly the entire time in the Pacific (other than a quick run to Casablanca in 1943, to deliver SecState Cordell Hull to a meeting), and was at Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941. She herself suffered barely any damage throughout the conflict, losing only one man to enemy action (near as I can tell, that is). When the Surrender was announced, she was heading to the US for a refit. She then officially joined the Atlantic Fleet just long enough to be transferred to the Reserve Fleet (Philadelphia) in 1946. Where she sat until 1951, which is when she was sold.
To Argentina, who renamed her ARA 17 de Octubre. Shortly after the coup that overthrew Juan Peron, the Argentinian Navy gave her the name under which she became famous:
The General Belgrano. During the Falklands War, on May 2nd, 1982, she was involved in maneuvers against the oncoming fleet of Royal Navy ships. Thought to be part of a pincer operation with the 25 de Mayo, an ex-RN CVL carrying A-4 Skyhawks, if the Belgrano could close with the thin-skinned RN vessels, there'd be serious butchery at sea. Modern vessels aren't armored the way they used to be; the Belgrano was built like a bank vault in comparison to the Type 42 destroyers and the various frigates she'd be facing. She was a serious threat. And the Brits had a serious way of dealing with her: the nuclear-powered submarine HMS Conqueror, which had been shadowing the Belgrano for 36 hours. Once given the go-ahead, she fired three WWII era torpedoes at the cruiser.
The second hit her forward of "A" turret, carrying away 40 feet or so of her bow. The third missed altogether, though it carried on and dented an Argentinian frigate (no explosion) some distance away. The first torpedo hit just behind the side armor plating, penetrated into the hull of the ship, then detonated. The explosion vented the boiler room to the sea, which began flooding immediately. It also blew out vertically, destroying two mess halls and a recreational area before taking out a 60 foot chunk of the main deck.
After her remaining crew had abandoned ship, the General Belgrano rolled on her ends, then sunk stern first. 770 crew were later rescued, a nigh-on miraculous feat, considering that her escorts never knew she was in trouble and sailed away.
The Sun's understated headline.
Exactly 30 years ago today, May 2nd.
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Name This Mystery Ship XVI
Sometimes the Mystery Ship I trot out for these contests are found long in advance, carefully stored away until the time comes to spring them on my unsuspecting readers. Other times, it's serendipitous. They fall in my lap completely by accident as I'm doing something else altogether.
FDM, CXT, you two have been moved to to "master-level," so you can't play on this one. Everybody else, take your best shot! The winner gets a post on a topic of their choice... but no cheating. If you cheat, you make little duckies cry, and big duckies angry.
FDM, CXT, you two have been moved to to "master-level," so you can't play on this one. Everybody else, take your best shot! The winner gets a post on a topic of their choice... but no cheating. If you cheat, you make little duckies cry, and big duckies angry.
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April 30, 2012
Shouting Into The Wind
So you wanna be a blogger, binky? You got the skillz, you got the desire, and you've got the website. You've even written some posts... and nobody is coming to read 'em. You feel like you're "shouting into the wind." So whaddya gotta do to get yourself thousands upon thousands of readers?
My advice to you as the author of a minorly successful blog? Quit now. If you're blogging to get comments, you're doing it for the wrong reason. A blog should be something you do because you want to, whether your cats are the only readers or you get 200000 hits a day. 90% of all blogs go away within one year, say reports from the Institute Of Pulling Statistics Our Of Our Arse. Of those blogs that last longer, most are completely ignored anyway.
If you're gonna keep writing and you need to aim for the sky, there are a few things I can suggest that I've figured out over the years. None of these are things I set out to accomplish, mind you, it just turned out that way. In short, I got lucky.
First, you'll need to have a hook. This sounds cold and calculating, I know, but if you don't have something that will separate you from the hordes of other bloggers out there, you'll just blend into the woodwork. In my case, it was the F1 writing. To be sure, I wrote (and still write) about other things, but my F1Update!s, no matter how meh the were in the beginning, that got me an audience. Sure, I transitioned to other hooks... Twelve Days of Duckmas and my episodic anime recaps come to mind... but F1 was the one that got The Pond going.
Second, even if it's accidentally, you need a patron. By "patron," I mean another blogger who is already successful who'll send you readers. In the case of The Pond, SDB was my "patron," having linked to me quite a few times about five years ago or so. Shortly thereafter, my readership boomed. I reckon that SDB's patron was probably the Instapundit, but I might be wrong about that. If it wasn't for those links from Chizumatic, The Pond would have struggled along like those 90% of blogs.
Third, and most importantly, you need to write. Every darn day, and if not every day, on some regular schedule. If you don't write regularly, what readers you DO get aren't going to come back more than a few times. The Pond could be better at this, but I've averaged 26 posts per month for 82 months... and that includes July 2005, when I was still trying to figure out what I was doing (8 posts). To be fair, a lot of the 2119 posts are 200 words and a picture (Random Anime Pictures) or 100 words and a picture (Ducks in Anime), but it's something. Now it so happens I like to write about subjects that I'm passionate about, and for those, 1000 words or more isn't out of the ordinary. But if you don't write more than once in a while, then it doesn't matter: nobody is going to come back anyway. Let me give you an example... for years, Fred Gallagher's webcomic Megatokyo was perhaps the most popular comic out there... certainly in the top five. A few years back, his release routine slipped from two or three times a week to once a week... to once every two weeks... to where it is now, once a month if he's lucky. Now that he's busy not updating, the message boards on the website went from being busy and well-populated (though often insular and exclusionary) to practically deserted.
If you write every day about something you love, in a way that isn't just a blatant copy of someone else, eventually you'll be noticed. It may take a while... it took two or three years for The Pond... but it'll happen. And then you won't be shouting into the wind anymore.
My advice to you as the author of a minorly successful blog? Quit now. If you're blogging to get comments, you're doing it for the wrong reason. A blog should be something you do because you want to, whether your cats are the only readers or you get 200000 hits a day. 90% of all blogs go away within one year, say reports from the Institute Of Pulling Statistics Our Of Our Arse. Of those blogs that last longer, most are completely ignored anyway.
If you're gonna keep writing and you need to aim for the sky, there are a few things I can suggest that I've figured out over the years. None of these are things I set out to accomplish, mind you, it just turned out that way. In short, I got lucky.
First, you'll need to have a hook. This sounds cold and calculating, I know, but if you don't have something that will separate you from the hordes of other bloggers out there, you'll just blend into the woodwork. In my case, it was the F1 writing. To be sure, I wrote (and still write) about other things, but my F1Update!s, no matter how meh the were in the beginning, that got me an audience. Sure, I transitioned to other hooks... Twelve Days of Duckmas and my episodic anime recaps come to mind... but F1 was the one that got The Pond going.
Second, even if it's accidentally, you need a patron. By "patron," I mean another blogger who is already successful who'll send you readers. In the case of The Pond, SDB was my "patron," having linked to me quite a few times about five years ago or so. Shortly thereafter, my readership boomed. I reckon that SDB's patron was probably the Instapundit, but I might be wrong about that. If it wasn't for those links from Chizumatic, The Pond would have struggled along like those 90% of blogs.
Third, and most importantly, you need to write. Every darn day, and if not every day, on some regular schedule. If you don't write regularly, what readers you DO get aren't going to come back more than a few times. The Pond could be better at this, but I've averaged 26 posts per month for 82 months... and that includes July 2005, when I was still trying to figure out what I was doing (8 posts). To be fair, a lot of the 2119 posts are 200 words and a picture (Random Anime Pictures) or 100 words and a picture (Ducks in Anime), but it's something. Now it so happens I like to write about subjects that I'm passionate about, and for those, 1000 words or more isn't out of the ordinary. But if you don't write more than once in a while, then it doesn't matter: nobody is going to come back anyway. Let me give you an example... for years, Fred Gallagher's webcomic Megatokyo was perhaps the most popular comic out there... certainly in the top five. A few years back, his release routine slipped from two or three times a week to once a week... to once every two weeks... to where it is now, once a month if he's lucky. Now that he's busy not updating, the message boards on the website went from being busy and well-populated (though often insular and exclusionary) to practically deserted.
If you write every day about something you love, in a way that isn't just a blatant copy of someone else, eventually you'll be noticed. It may take a while... it took two or three years for The Pond... but it'll happen. And then you won't be shouting into the wind anymore.
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April 29, 2012
Random Anime Picture #69: That Was... Odd
-Nazo no Kanojo X Ep01
What a seriously quirky show. I'm not even going to attempt to summarize it, I'll send you to Mauser's place for that. If you can get past the drool, there's potentially quite a little gem here.
(sarcasm)
There's absolutely no symbolism involved in the show at all whatsoever.
(/sarcasm)
-Nazo no Kanojo X Ep01
What a seriously quirky show. I'm not even going to attempt to summarize it, I'll send you to Mauser's place for that. If you can get past the drool, there's potentially quite a little gem here.
(sarcasm)
There's absolutely no symbolism involved in the show at all whatsoever.
(/sarcasm)
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09:02 PM
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April 28, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep06
As you may remember, last episode was quite the action-packed lil' thing. We met the Japanese Police
Force's fifth-best sniper, for example. We saw four teenage delinquents
act all delinquently, and get water-cannoned into the river for their
troubles, and good riddance to 'em, too. I know I was never a jerk such
as them back when I was a teenager, some 25 years ago. Now, I was a
well-behaved lad, raised right and all that sort of thing, but c'mon...
teenagers arguing with police in armored vans armed with high-pressure
water cannon deserves to be taught a lesson by Chuck D. As opposed to Chuck D...
that'd be an entirely different type of lesson. Though, if you think
about it, it'd be exactly the same. Anyway, Shido-sensei formed his
little cult of personality, the larger portion of the Fellowship of the Ring Our Heroes bailed out of the bus, but not before Hirano went all Rambo
on Shido... is there a word for last-letter-of-a-word-alliteration? After they left the bus, the smaller group of Our Heroes
appeared out of nowhere just in time to clean up a zombie horde... and
the Fellowship was rejoined. They then decamped to an apartment nearby,
apparently owned by Boing-chan's friend, the fifth-best sniper in the
Japanese Police force. Which is where we pick up the action, more or
less.
Well, actually, we pick up the action on a nearby bridge which looks very much like the Dan Ryan "Expressway" (aka I-90/94) around 5pm on a Friday afternoon... and how a 14-lane highway can have traffic problems is entirely beyond me. It may have something to do with the dismounted police officers blocking gaps between cars to form a defensive barrier against encroaching Packers fans zombies. I mean, in the show. On the Dan Ryan, the cops wouldn't last a minute. Getting back to the show, while I applaud the efforts of the shield-wielding police, shouldn't they have adopted a better defensive position, tactically? Using the cars is clever, but please note that the four-man groups are unable to support each other easily. The cars are in the way! If the zombies come en masse, the police are screwed. And I've just dissected a defensive position to determine its effectiveness against zombie attack. Thank heavens for the internet.
Oh, but they've got a dog with them, never mind. Lil' Yappy up there is promptly eaten by a zombie. No, no, sorry, no, Yappy goes running away. The undead don't seem to care... or do they? Hmmm... could that have been foreshadowing? Bwah-hah-ha-hahahahahahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Meanwhile, at the safehouseapartment, the girls prepare to take a bath. Wait, what?
Cue the sirens and put on your civil defense helmets, HSotD has gone to Fanservice Condition Red! I say again, Fanservice Condition Red! Oh god help us, it's a bathtub scene. This business will get out of control... it will get out of control, and we will be lucky to live through it.
It should go without saying that everything beyond this point should be considered Not Safe For Work.
more...
Well, actually, we pick up the action on a nearby bridge which looks very much like the Dan Ryan "Expressway" (aka I-90/94) around 5pm on a Friday afternoon... and how a 14-lane highway can have traffic problems is entirely beyond me. It may have something to do with the dismounted police officers blocking gaps between cars to form a defensive barrier against encroaching Packers fans zombies. I mean, in the show. On the Dan Ryan, the cops wouldn't last a minute. Getting back to the show, while I applaud the efforts of the shield-wielding police, shouldn't they have adopted a better defensive position, tactically? Using the cars is clever, but please note that the four-man groups are unable to support each other easily. The cars are in the way! If the zombies come en masse, the police are screwed. And I've just dissected a defensive position to determine its effectiveness against zombie attack. Thank heavens for the internet.
Oh, but they've got a dog with them, never mind. Lil' Yappy up there is promptly eaten by a zombie. No, no, sorry, no, Yappy goes running away. The undead don't seem to care... or do they? Hmmm... could that have been foreshadowing? Bwah-hah-ha-hahahahahahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Meanwhile, at the safehouseapartment, the girls prepare to take a bath. Wait, what?
Cue the sirens and put on your civil defense helmets, HSotD has gone to Fanservice Condition Red! I say again, Fanservice Condition Red! Oh god help us, it's a bathtub scene. This business will get out of control... it will get out of control, and we will be lucky to live through it.
It should go without saying that everything beyond this point should be considered Not Safe For Work.
more...
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April 26, 2012
It Was With The Best Of Intentions
Dragging myself home from another long day at the Duck U Bookstore, I had planned to finish my writeup of High School of the Dead Ep06. That is, after I had dinner of course... that sammitch that rules all other sammitches: the Reuben. As I munched, I watched what was turning out to be a bad movie. As a lover of bad movies (see: Wonderduck's collection of 122 MST3K episodes), I stuck with it... and it was a very bad movie indeed. When Samuel L MF'ing Jackson is overacting so badly that even a Samuel L Jackson fan is astonished by it, you know there's something wrong with the movie. Anyway, when the movie came to its welcome end, it was almost time for the Bears to make their first round pick in the 2012 NFL Draft. When THAT was done, I took a shower, and then it was now. 1030pm, and I've yet to type a single word for the Ep06 writeup all night.
Fortunately, it's about half-completed already. One last big push, and it'll be done. My guess? Friday or Saturday, hopefully Friday. It should be worth the wait, I think.
Fortunately, it's about half-completed already. One last big push, and it'll be done. My guess? Friday or Saturday, hopefully Friday. It should be worth the wait, I think.
Posted by: Wonderduck at
09:39 PM
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