Wonderduck's Pond

January 25, 2022

Hospital pt2: Like A Cloud, Only With Squeezy Boots.

As the gurney was rolled through a maze of hallways... I could have sworn one of my steering units was dropping popcorn behind him... I couldn't help but notice that the ceiling was entirely different from what it had been when we had visited the land of the Angry Growling Doughnut. Turns out we were headed into the hospital's New Wing... you could hear the capital letters thudding into place... which surprised me. See, back in the day the Duck U Bookstore sold the books for this hospital's college of nursing so I had spent a lot of time there, and to be honest I had no idea where'd they'd PUT a NewWing. As it turned out, I was both right and wrong; there wasn't room for new construction. So they made room... RIP college of nursing and some other stuff. And so, I got to notice a new ceiling. And yes, I did spend a minute of your life telling you an over-detailed story to explain a different shape of ceiling tile.

I'M BACK, PONDSCUMMERS! Did ya miss me?

Eventually the steering units... it was a powered gurney, even had cute little brake handles and everything. The medical folk involved just leaned on the thing to make it go one way or the other. Anyway, they found an elevator and as luck had it it was packed with medfolk. A short standoff occurred before it was sent on its merry way. The next one was empty, though only for as long as it took to load in my scooterbed. Which took longer than you'd have thought; the wheels got stuck in the gap between elevator and floor. Eventually this trouble was dispatched and up we went to the 5th floor... the newest in the entire hospital. The Cardiac floor. New ceiling, too, much further away than all the rest thus far. I really realized something right then. This was serious. Or really, SERIOUS. They wouldn't put me in the Cardiac wards if it wasn't. They rolled me into a random room that honestly was bigger than my living room.

And then, another transfer to another bed. As before, serious pain and sad puppy whining sounds. And a bed that was the most uncomfortable I've ever been. Seriously, it was like lying on an aluminum sheet with rods on it. The rolling table went away, taking the medical personnel with it, and I was in a hospital, alone, basically naked, on a painful table, in the dark, and scared out of my tiny little mind. Not because I was alone... that could be a good sign, you don't leave cardiac cases alone without them being wired for sound first... but because of the pain.

At the beginning of all this two weeks previously, stuff in my leg hurt but it stopped hurting when I stopped moving. When it stopped doing leg things it didn't hurt. But now it was constant sharp lance being wiggled around and THAT was scary.

Finally a couple of CNAs came in, turning a light on as they came. One threw a sheet over me. The other one though... she threw a switch on the far end of the bed and a loud hiss filled the room. More importantly was that I was no longer lying on an uncomfortable sheet of aluminum but hovering just over it! I'm sort of embarrassed to admit that my first thought was air hockey. In my defense, it had been a long day. They had put me in an inflatable bed and for the first time since 3pm, my back and butt didn't hurt. Considering the pain in the rest of my body, it was a small victory, but a victory it was.

The nurses efficiently got my tree of bags hung and stuck in my arm... and drew more blood to look at the effectiveness of the blood thinners. This should have warned me of what was coming but I was clueless... its not like I had any experience in this. They showed me what to press if I needed to use the loo, to adjust the bed, and how to turn on the TV. This would prove to be the most important of the three. And what a TV! 46" if it was a foot. Much cable channels, including TCM... during Oscars month. Say what you want about the Hollywood "I Love ME!" event, but they give that to good movies. During my stay I got to wat... a nurse walks in and takes blood... I got to watch about 30 great movies. I'd already seen some of them of course: I had Citizen Kane memorized long before, but I had managed to miss most Sidney Poitier films for example.

So that, mixed with my cellphone, would have my entertainment covered. This was nowhere near to being true, but I didn't know that yet. I also didn't know that despite my bed being comfort itself, sleep was not going to be a thing. But at the moment, it wasn't going to be... a nurse walks in, takes blood, and leaves again... ...be a problem.

Yeah. I was screwed, I just didn't know it yet.

Next Time: More Zombies!

Also Next Time: Hospital pt3 - So Sick I Felt Fine

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:26 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 890 words, total size 9 kb.

1 When the ceiling is the only view you've got, that's the material you have to work with for describing your environment.

It's amazing how much relief one can get from the transition from "lots of pain" to "somewhat less, but still a lot of, pain," isn't it?

Posted by: GreyDuck at January 26, 2022 11:51 AM (rKFiU)

2 I admit to being *slightly* disappointed that you didn't write the whole thing and then tell the story out of order. "Next time: Episode 2, Donut of Doom!" "WRONG! Next time: Episode 8, French Toast!"

Posted by: Kathryn at January 27, 2022 02:36 PM (8548M)

3 While I would find the Haruhi reference exquisitely tasty, it would mean I had actually written it beforehand. That would require me to... write ahead! Indeed it would have me write what is looking like it's going to easily be well over 10000 words.
I'm just not that sort of writer. Everything you've ever seen on The Pond, except for the longest of military history posts, has been written off the fly and on the cuff. I almost never perform acts of editing on posts, save for spelling or some horrible violation of the English language
I usually don't know ahead of time what I'll be saying. Usually.

Posted by: Wonderduck at January 27, 2022 11:31 PM (bHHXR)

4 It would also be pretty difficult to construct the story such that the readers could still follow what was going on even with it being out of order. Might be an interesting challenge for me next time I get the writing bug...

More importantly, I'm so glad you're doing better. I was really worried.

Posted by: Kathryn at January 28, 2022 05:41 PM (8548M)

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