Renault will probably win the Constructor's Championship again.

McLaren will have the winner of the Driver's Championship, however.

The Crimson Steers will not have a driver on the podium. They will, however, be close (i.e. fourth or fifth).

Scuderia Toro Lawnmowero will be the 9th team, ahead of only MF1 and Super Aguri.

Honda will place third in the Constructor's Championship, and will have two wins to their credit. Jensen Button will get them both.

Toyota will NOT win a race. They also will not get on the podium. Ralf Schumacher will be kicked from the team at the end of the year.

Super Aguri will score points. Takuma Sato will earn them.

Speaking of Takuma Sato, he will have his first shunt within the first 10 laps at Bahrain. That's if he doesn't have his accident at the airport's rental car counter.

I will regret writing this post at some point in the season.

YOU regret READING this post already.

UPDATE
I don't know how I forgot about this, but there's a horde of tifosi outside of The Pond, and they've got torches. So, without further ado...

Ferrari will suck. Bad.

Slappy Schumacher will throw up on his tires. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Then he'll attack Takuma Sato, and end up impaled on a katana.

Felipe Massa's testicles will drop.

...and one more:

The Mark of Zsolt will return, and all of F1 will be afraid.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 12:56 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Well, at least I've got the eyes for it at the moment.

See, I had to get new glasses desperately. The ones I'd been wearing were SEVEN YEARS OLD, and things in the distance were beginning to get a tad blurry. So off I trooped to Lenscrafters, where they were a little surprised to see a duck needing glasses, but like the pros they are, they sent me back to the OptyDoc.

Who had to give me the nasty eyedrops that blow the pupils WAAAAAAY big.

I love the new glasses, I think... I'm not sure, I really can't see them very well right now. Everything is REALLY bright, and my eyes look like an anime character's: lots and lots of black, almost no iris visible.

I have no idea what twisted mind would make me an anime character... maybe something from Gainax, perhaps... but there are people out there who spend $50 a pair for special 'blackout' contacts that do the same thing that I've got going on right now.

Okay, I really shouldn't be looking at the screen, so I'm packing it in for the night. Thanks for reading this latest (dull) entry at Wonderduck's Pond.

Tomorrow, back to F1 talk... I promise.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 04:12 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Good luck, Kirby.

1108pm Update

Kirby Puckett didn't look like a baseball player. He was short and squat, with a tendency to put on weight in the offseason.

He may not have looked like a baseball player, but he was one. In fact, he was a Hall of Fame centerfielder for my adopted team, the Minnesota Twins. He was born and raised in Chicago, same as me.

In 1991, the first summer I was in Minnesota, he led the Twins to a World Series Championship. Indeed, the title of this post was spoken by Jack Buck after Puckett single-handedly won Game 6 of the World Series with a walk-off home run in the bottom of the 11th inning.

His career was cut short when he lost vision in his left eye after being beaned by Dennis Martinez.

Kirby Puckett passed away tonight, following a massive stroke.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 12:08 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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How can you tell it's spring? Well, not by looking outside here at The Pond, that's for sure: we've gotten 4 inches of snow today. Cactus League baseball and Fifty degrees F. yesterday, to boot.

Ah, but inside The Pond... that's where you can tell it's spring. Why? Because this entry is the FIRST installment of F1 on SPEED for the season, that's why!

We start off on Friday, March 10th from 5am to 6am with Live Coverage of Practice from Bahrain. Then, from 430pm to 5pm we get Mr Snootyvoice and Inside Grand Prix (sponsored by Allianz, the company that does something...), which I encourage HWWNBNUHCOTP to watch.

Surprisingly, that's it for Friday. No replays... which is also the case on Saturday, March 11th as well. From 5am to 630am we have Live Qualifications from Bahrain, but no replay.

Sunday, March 12th, though... First, we get 5am to 730am, the Bahrain Grand Prix LIVE. Mal will bring the bagels.

Then Mr Snootyvoice returns with the same episode of Inside Grand Prix (sponsored by Allianz: We Still Don't Know What We Do.) from 11am to 1130am.

Then you get the replay of the Bahrain Grand Prix from 1130am to 2pm, and the season is off and running!!!

All times are Central, as that's where The Pond is. Subtract two hours if you're on the west coast, add one hour if you're on the east coast, and if you're in Europe, add eleventy-sprocket hours. Particularly Belgium.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 05:54 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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As some of you may remember, one of the readers of The Pond is Simon. Simon's job has taken him to the Middle East repeatedly, and he's scheduled to be in Bahrain soon... like in time for the race!

If, indeed, that happens (he's not sure it will), he's graciously volunteered to be F1 UPDATE!'s on-the-spot color commentator.

For now, however, I've received a missive from Simon regarding the weather in those parts. I've left the letter unedited, save for some formatting and the like.

Take it away, Simon! more...

Posted by: Wonderduck at 05:55 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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It was called "The Incredible Victory" and "The Miracle".

It was hailed as 'the turning point of WWII.'

It all hinged on 'the fateful five minutes.'

It was 'The Battle That Doomed Japan.'

IT was The Battle of Midway. And everything you know about it is wrong. more...

Posted by: Wonderduck at 05:57 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I had nothing at all to comment on today. Then I got to The Pond, and discovered that I had been commentspammed. Again.

Which made me weary.

Hopefully, I got them all before anybody saw them... after all, it's not like I've got 3000 readers or anything (I might have to, y'know, be witty then). But geez, I wish that they could be at least INTERESTING commentspammers.

Is that too much to ask?

Oh, the title? I dunno, but it got your attention, no?

Posted by: Wonderduck at 05:49 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 88 words, total size 1 kb.

It saddens our hearts to think that our readers have missed the F1 UPDATE! crew during the long, cold offseason. So much, in fact, that we're now back with the second part of our look at the personalities that make up the Rolling Asylum that is Formula One.

(cue 'Shipwrecked Guy')

"Its..." more...

Posted by: Wonderduck at 05:59 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 496 words, total size 3 kb.