April 30, 2006

F1 UPDATE!: San Marino!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh... the Legendary Announce Team. All is right with the world. Lets get right to it!

*HAVEN'T WE SEEN THIS BEFORE?: No, we're not talking about this particular race (which, of course, was butchered on CBS). We're talking about these two cars, running on this track, dicing for first place for an extended period of time. Like, say, last year? It just amazes us that this sort of thing can happen... serendipity, we suppose.

*IS THAT ALL THERE IS?: Thanks, Italian TV, for giving us the in-depth coverage of Alonso vs Schumaker. In the future, however, would it be too much to ask for a few other cars, too? There WERE other racers on the track... not that you could tell from the Italian coverage, however.

*GOODBYE, IMOLA... YOU KNOW THE REST.: They're going to be remodling Imola; Variante Bassa will disappear, replaced by a widened and modernized pitlane. Maybe we'll see a track that people can pass on now.

*TEAM OF THE RACE: Ferrari. As much as it pains me to say it, Ferrari. Particularly after the nightmare they had in Australia, 1st/4th is a fantastic result. But it IS Imola, and Ferrari ALWAYS does well at Imola.

*DRIVER OF THE RACE: Slappy. We're going to go kill ourselves now.

*MOVE OF THE RACE: We've been told that Mark Webber had a big pass on Barrichello, but nobody got to see it due to the love affair Italian TV had with the color red. So Webbo gets it on word-of-mouth.

*MOOOOOOOO-O-O-OVE OF THE RACE: We've got two for your enjoyment this race! The first, on lap one, goes to Fast Yuji Ide, for his... um... ham-fisted driving that launched Christian Albers into a quadruple roll with a half-twist. 9.5, with a 4.3 from the East German judge, he didn't like that at all.
The second bovine manuever goes, not to a driver, but to the lollypop man for Honda. There was absolutely no sign that Jensen Button's 2nd stop was finished; the tires were on, but the fuel hose was clearly still attached. Still, up the lollypop went and off Jense went... dragging half the pitcrew with him, ripping the nozzle off the fuel rig, and nearly guillotining the driver with the lollypop. Thankfully, the safety devices on the fuel rig worked perfectly, but even so some amount of fuel DID spill. Somehow, it didn't ignite. Moo!

*DRIVER QUOTES: “I am very happy! Yippee!" - Michael Schumacher. (note: real quote. Well, not the 'yippee' part...)

"At a normal circuit, we could have won but this is Imola." - Fernando Alonso. (note: also a real quote)

"AIEEEEEEEEEE(bump)EEEEEEEEEEE(bump)EEEEEEEEE(bump)EEEEEEEE(bump)!!!!" - Christian Albers.

"Um, hello? Italian TV? We're here, too... Hello?" - Everybody else.

Right, yes, this Update WAS a little half-hearted. We promise we'll do better next week with the European GP's F1 UPDATE!!!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 05:16 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 Yep, Jensen's lollipop man had a mare there. I don't think I've seen anyone manage that before.

It is a bit tricky to do it so late afterwards, the review. Totally understand why you did, because of your "even duffer than we got" coverage.

Posted by: flotsky at May 01, 2006 07:24 PM (6T2ID)

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