October 08, 2006
"First I get a slow leak in a tire, then Michael's engine blows... something's fishy here, and we're going to get the FIA to investigate Renault because of it." - Felipe Massa (editor's note: hey, you KNOW they want to...).
"Ciao, Tonino. (weeps)" - Giancarlo Fisichella (editor's note: for what it's worth, F1 UPDATE! sends our condolences).
"I'm reasonably pleased with my fourth place here today." - Jensen Button. (note: real quote. Gee, ya think, Button?)
"Mmbrmbrmbl mmlblblmmlb mbblmrmrbml bmmlrrlrbm." - Kimi Raikkonen.
"Who'd think that we'd get 12 laps out of a pint of fuel? How else do you think we got on the 2nd row? Also, my hair looks fab." - Jarno Trulli.
"Jarno managed to get ahead of me on his new tyres and from then on I spent most of the day following him around the track. Chugga-chugga-chugga-whoo-whoooooooo!!!" - Ralf Schumacher. (note: real quote, except for the train sounds)
"My race was unspectacular." - Nick Heidfeld. (note: real quote. We can't make this up, folks.)
"AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEoh wait, I recovered. Nevermind." - Robert Kubica.
"Rookie of the year, right here! That's me. Rookie. Of. The. Year! Also, I'm good looking, rich and have great hair." - Nico (Wonderboy) Rosberg.
"Remember last year, when we were good? Yeah, good times, good times..." - Pete Rose.
"*glug glug glug glug* Ahhhhhhhh. *Ka-pshop* *glug glug glug glug*" - Rubens Barrichello.
â€œIt ended up being quite lonely on the race track this afternoon. My heart is cryin',cryin' / Lonely teardrops / My pillows never dry of / Lonely teardrops / Come home, come home / Just say you will, say you will (say you will) / Say you will (say you will) / Hey, hey (say you will)..." - Robert Doorknob (and the RedBulls).
"*snapping fingers to the beat*" - Vitantonio Liuzzi.
"This is an absolutely fantastic result for the team - we could not have asked for anything more. It's good to be a Japanese F1 driver in Japan... I've finished 15th, and I'm getting more camera time than Felipe Massa. And every grid girl is going home with me tonight." - Takuma Sato, National Hero.
"I can't believe I'm behind Sato." - Tiago Montiero.
"I can't wait to drive Suzuka in F1 next year! It'll be great!" - Sakon Yamamoto. (someone really should tell him...)
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Spins are FUN!" - American Scott Speed.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" - Mark Webber.
"Now we are nine points behind in the Constructorsâ€™ classification and we will do all we can to win this title in Brazil. As for the Drivers,â€™ it is lost. I donâ€™t want to head off for a race, hoping that my rival has to retire. That is not the way in which I want to win the title. Which is, I'll point out, how Fernando Alonso just won it, so *sizzle* you just got faced, Alonso." - Slappy Schumacher. (note: real quote)
"We were racing the Spyker team for most of the race. Pants." - David Coulthard's Chin. (note: he retired after he lost 4th gear, in case you were wondering... SPEED never told us.)
"The team will investigate what happened to cause my retirement." - Christijan Albers. (note: real quote. Dude, the rear of your car disintegrated when a shaft broke free. THAT'S what happened to cause your retirement.)
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