June 16, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep10
So last time,
we pretty much had an epic episode, what with the Saeko backstory and
the Saeko swordplay and the Saeko BSOD and the Saeko gets splashed by
lots of water twice and the Saeko ginsuing zombies and the psycho Saeko
and the Saeko Saeko Saeko Saeko Saeko. Saeko. I guess what I'm saying
is that a Saekocentric episode is pretty much as awesome as this show
can get, more or less. So how in the world can the production staff
hope to follow up such marvelousness?
Why, with fanservice, of course. How else would HSotD deal with an issue? And it throws it at us so quickly that I had to break my introduction formatting (two or three pictures, followed by a Title screen), otherwise The Pond would suddenly become NSFW on the front page. We can't have that, no no no, this is a family blog. Mostly. More or less. How many of you realized that I even followed my own formatting rules? It's fine if you didn't, it's not like I advertise it or anything, but these things ain't just thrown together on a wing and a prayer, y'know. They're keenly thought out, finely detailed, nigh-on exquisite gems of literary excess.
more...
Why, with fanservice, of course. How else would HSotD deal with an issue? And it throws it at us so quickly that I had to break my introduction formatting (two or three pictures, followed by a Title screen), otherwise The Pond would suddenly become NSFW on the front page. We can't have that, no no no, this is a family blog. Mostly. More or less. How many of you realized that I even followed my own formatting rules? It's fine if you didn't, it's not like I advertise it or anything, but these things ain't just thrown together on a wing and a prayer, y'know. They're keenly thought out, finely detailed, nigh-on exquisite gems of literary excess.
more...
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June 03, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep09
Some of you may remember that, last episode,
everybody was about to die when the fire brigade arrived, led by Saya's
mother. The Fellowship was saved, hurray! Except for Saeko and
Takashi.
Them, they got separated in one final suicidal attempt to distract the zombie horde from their friends, which failed miserably, then when the Cavalry came riding over the metaphorical hill, they couldn't be rescued. Way to go, heroes! Now they've got to make their way across zombie-filled territory without supplies or assistance, all in an attempt to make it to Saya's house. Still, they're the two best melee fighters in The Fellowship, they should have a decent chance if they're careful.
...and then they jump off a railing. Takashi lands wrong, sprains an ankle, and is eaten a few moments later when he can't outrun a zombie. Saeko, having no idea where she needs to go now that her "native guide" is dead, gets lost and is trapped in a dead-end alleyway. Her corpse later reanimates and is casually shot in the face by Hirano, who doesn't even realize who it once was. So she's got that going for her. Which is nice.
Still... nimble little minx, isn't she?
more...
Them, they got separated in one final suicidal attempt to distract the zombie horde from their friends, which failed miserably, then when the Cavalry came riding over the metaphorical hill, they couldn't be rescued. Way to go, heroes! Now they've got to make their way across zombie-filled territory without supplies or assistance, all in an attempt to make it to Saya's house. Still, they're the two best melee fighters in The Fellowship, they should have a decent chance if they're careful.
...and then they jump off a railing. Takashi lands wrong, sprains an ankle, and is eaten a few moments later when he can't outrun a zombie. Saeko, having no idea where she needs to go now that her "native guide" is dead, gets lost and is trapped in a dead-end alleyway. Her corpse later reanimates and is casually shot in the face by Hirano, who doesn't even realize who it once was. So she's got that going for her. Which is nice.
Still... nimble little minx, isn't she?
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May 26, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep08
It was only an episode ago that The Fellowship came to the conclusion that they had to be ruthless
to survive, and heaven help those who weren't them. Immediately after
deciding that, they galloped off on their trusty steed Humvee-kun and
rescued a young girl from the clutches of a front yard full o' zombies.
So much for ruthlessness. To be fair, however, if they hadn't've (am I
the only person who uses that double contraction?) saved Alice, there's
no question but that I'd've (again!) sent HSotD packing,
with nary a sou to its name and good riddance. So now they've got a
child and a Yappydog with them. Great, just great, that'll really help
their survival chances. So what wonders does High School of the Dead bring us with this new episode? Shall they rescue two koalas, a ferret
and an angry llama from the local zoo? And just what in the world is
the Japanese Ministry of Environment Supernatural Disaster Countermeasures Division doing to stop the zombie plague? It seems like this would be right up their alley.
In my years of watching this anime stuff, I've discovered that any time you see the White House or Air Force One in an episode, nothing good is going to come of it. Mark my words, readers, and mark them well: this is to be no ordinary jumbo jet. It is to be a 747 OF DOOM! DOOMY DOOM!
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, Skippy Henderson. President Henderson has a problem. Y'see, his wife and half of the Presidential aides became zombies on AF1, shortly after takeoff. His SecState was bitten, and is in the process of turning as we speak. Worse still, the entire press corps entourage turned as well... though to be honest, it seems to be an improvement in their case. Somewhere along the way, President Skippy got himself bitten on the hand and he's not feeling all that perky. SecState, doing his level best to advise his Skippy-In-Chief before he becomes a member of the Shambling Horde himself, says that the US should officially announce National State of Emergency Tactical Regulation 666D. Which, I assume, calls for kittens and balloons to be handed out to all citizens, with instructions on how to play with them for maximum calming effect. Or the firing of ICBMs at countries aiming at the US, one of the two.
President Skippy can't decide, and while SecState goes all grnfgrrrngrfzombiebrainnnns, we get a look at the current situation map. Europe is Zombie Heaven. Brazil is gone, much of Africa too. Japan and China are going down. A look at the insert map shows some interesting things going on in the US. There's a huge outbreak in NYC and Washington DC, not that anybody could really tell. Chicago, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have anything much, while St Louis has gone all zombo. Must be all the Cardinals fans mixing up the sensors. I'm amused, however, by the small outbreak in Minneapolis. "Yah hey dere, lingonberry goes great with braaaaaaaains dontchaknow?"
Minnesota zombies. I'm scared to death, you betcha.
more...
In my years of watching this anime stuff, I've discovered that any time you see the White House or Air Force One in an episode, nothing good is going to come of it. Mark my words, readers, and mark them well: this is to be no ordinary jumbo jet. It is to be a 747 OF DOOM! DOOMY DOOM!
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, Skippy Henderson. President Henderson has a problem. Y'see, his wife and half of the Presidential aides became zombies on AF1, shortly after takeoff. His SecState was bitten, and is in the process of turning as we speak. Worse still, the entire press corps entourage turned as well... though to be honest, it seems to be an improvement in their case. Somewhere along the way, President Skippy got himself bitten on the hand and he's not feeling all that perky. SecState, doing his level best to advise his Skippy-In-Chief before he becomes a member of the Shambling Horde himself, says that the US should officially announce National State of Emergency Tactical Regulation 666D. Which, I assume, calls for kittens and balloons to be handed out to all citizens, with instructions on how to play with them for maximum calming effect. Or the firing of ICBMs at countries aiming at the US, one of the two.
President Skippy can't decide, and while SecState goes all grnfgrrrngrfzombiebrainnnns, we get a look at the current situation map. Europe is Zombie Heaven. Brazil is gone, much of Africa too. Japan and China are going down. A look at the insert map shows some interesting things going on in the US. There's a huge outbreak in NYC and Washington DC, not that anybody could really tell. Chicago, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have anything much, while St Louis has gone all zombo. Must be all the Cardinals fans mixing up the sensors. I'm amused, however, by the small outbreak in Minneapolis. "Yah hey dere, lingonberry goes great with braaaaaaaains dontchaknow?"
Minnesota zombies. I'm scared to death, you betcha.
more...
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May 05, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep07
Last episode, we experienced the quintessential HSotD experience. If someone came up to me and said "what is HSotD all about," Ep06 is the one I'd show them. If you remember correctly, and I think you do, The Fellowship had taken refuge in the house of Boing-chan's friend, up-armed themselves, oh and the wimmenfolk took a bath. At the end of it, however, a barking dog had drawn a horde o' undead to their doorstep.
Meet another J Random Survivor. We will call him Skippy for the duration of his stay with us. Skippy is armed with an over-under shotgun, what many might call the perfect zombie-hunting weapon. These unnamed "many" would be wrong, because over-under shotguns are usually single-shot weapons. Well, dual-shot as there are two single-shot barrels, but Skippy here, quite wisely I'd think, is using both barrels on his undead targets. Anyway, Skippy, possessing all the tactical genius of a fly that landed on a copy of Sun Tzu's "Art Of War" once, is running around blasting zombies and making whole metric farktons of noise in the process. Drawing more undead to him. Seeing that he has to reload after every shot, this may not be the brightest idea he's ever had. Eventually, the inevitable occurs: he fumbles a shell. At this point, near as I can tell, a shotgunner has four options: 1) let it go, man, 'cause it's gone, and shoot one barrel; 2) pull another shell out of your pocket; 3) feets don't fail me now; 4) come to a complete halt, bend down to pick the dropped shell up off the ground, and let the zombies gather around you. What would you do?
Since I've named him Skippy, you can guess which choice he made. But he picked up the hell outta that shell, and a good job it was, too! It was the best job of picking something up off the ground that you ever did see, going back to when some kid named Arthur pulled a sword outta a random rock somewhere. Art got a kingdom out of it, though. Skippy here, well, at least he makes an appearance in this episodic review. That's gotta count for something!
The death of Skippy is also noted by Hirano, Saeko and Takashi, who are up on the balcony munching popcorn and generally enjoying the show, safely far above the gathering hordes. Well, not really. They note that "it's getting worse" out there. Our Hero is all for going out there and trying to save everybody. Saeko gently but firmly points out to him that he's a FRIGGIN' MORON. Not only are they gonna have to deal with the undead hordes, but sooner or later, living people will notice that there's an awful nice safe spot up there and come a-callin'... and they don't have the resources to save them all. Or even themselves, quite possibly.
Oh yeah. Forgot about that little detail, didn't you?
more...
Meet another J Random Survivor. We will call him Skippy for the duration of his stay with us. Skippy is armed with an over-under shotgun, what many might call the perfect zombie-hunting weapon. These unnamed "many" would be wrong, because over-under shotguns are usually single-shot weapons. Well, dual-shot as there are two single-shot barrels, but Skippy here, quite wisely I'd think, is using both barrels on his undead targets. Anyway, Skippy, possessing all the tactical genius of a fly that landed on a copy of Sun Tzu's "Art Of War" once, is running around blasting zombies and making whole metric farktons of noise in the process. Drawing more undead to him. Seeing that he has to reload after every shot, this may not be the brightest idea he's ever had. Eventually, the inevitable occurs: he fumbles a shell. At this point, near as I can tell, a shotgunner has four options: 1) let it go, man, 'cause it's gone, and shoot one barrel; 2) pull another shell out of your pocket; 3) feets don't fail me now; 4) come to a complete halt, bend down to pick the dropped shell up off the ground, and let the zombies gather around you. What would you do?
Since I've named him Skippy, you can guess which choice he made. But he picked up the hell outta that shell, and a good job it was, too! It was the best job of picking something up off the ground that you ever did see, going back to when some kid named Arthur pulled a sword outta a random rock somewhere. Art got a kingdom out of it, though. Skippy here, well, at least he makes an appearance in this episodic review. That's gotta count for something!
The death of Skippy is also noted by Hirano, Saeko and Takashi, who are up on the balcony munching popcorn and generally enjoying the show, safely far above the gathering hordes. Well, not really. They note that "it's getting worse" out there. Our Hero is all for going out there and trying to save everybody. Saeko gently but firmly points out to him that he's a FRIGGIN' MORON. Not only are they gonna have to deal with the undead hordes, but sooner or later, living people will notice that there's an awful nice safe spot up there and come a-callin'... and they don't have the resources to save them all. Or even themselves, quite possibly.
Oh yeah. Forgot about that little detail, didn't you?
more...
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April 28, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep06
As you may remember, last episode was quite the action-packed lil' thing. We met the Japanese Police
Force's fifth-best sniper, for example. We saw four teenage delinquents
act all delinquently, and get water-cannoned into the river for their
troubles, and good riddance to 'em, too. I know I was never a jerk such
as them back when I was a teenager, some 25 years ago. Now, I was a
well-behaved lad, raised right and all that sort of thing, but c'mon...
teenagers arguing with police in armored vans armed with high-pressure
water cannon deserves to be taught a lesson by Chuck D. As opposed to Chuck D...
that'd be an entirely different type of lesson. Though, if you think
about it, it'd be exactly the same. Anyway, Shido-sensei formed his
little cult of personality, the larger portion of the Fellowship of the Ring Our Heroes bailed out of the bus, but not before Hirano went all Rambo
on Shido... is there a word for last-letter-of-a-word-alliteration? After they left the bus, the smaller group of Our Heroes
appeared out of nowhere just in time to clean up a zombie horde... and
the Fellowship was rejoined. They then decamped to an apartment nearby,
apparently owned by Boing-chan's friend, the fifth-best sniper in the
Japanese Police force. Which is where we pick up the action, more or
less.
Well, actually, we pick up the action on a nearby bridge which looks very much like the Dan Ryan "Expressway" (aka I-90/94) around 5pm on a Friday afternoon... and how a 14-lane highway can have traffic problems is entirely beyond me. It may have something to do with the dismounted police officers blocking gaps between cars to form a defensive barrier against encroaching Packers fans zombies. I mean, in the show. On the Dan Ryan, the cops wouldn't last a minute. Getting back to the show, while I applaud the efforts of the shield-wielding police, shouldn't they have adopted a better defensive position, tactically? Using the cars is clever, but please note that the four-man groups are unable to support each other easily. The cars are in the way! If the zombies come en masse, the police are screwed. And I've just dissected a defensive position to determine its effectiveness against zombie attack. Thank heavens for the internet.
Oh, but they've got a dog with them, never mind. Lil' Yappy up there is promptly eaten by a zombie. No, no, sorry, no, Yappy goes running away. The undead don't seem to care... or do they? Hmmm... could that have been foreshadowing? Bwah-hah-ha-hahahahahahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Meanwhile, at the safehouseapartment, the girls prepare to take a bath. Wait, what?
Cue the sirens and put on your civil defense helmets, HSotD has gone to Fanservice Condition Red! I say again, Fanservice Condition Red! Oh god help us, it's a bathtub scene. This business will get out of control... it will get out of control, and we will be lucky to live through it.
It should go without saying that everything beyond this point should be considered Not Safe For Work.
more...
Well, actually, we pick up the action on a nearby bridge which looks very much like the Dan Ryan "Expressway" (aka I-90/94) around 5pm on a Friday afternoon... and how a 14-lane highway can have traffic problems is entirely beyond me. It may have something to do with the dismounted police officers blocking gaps between cars to form a defensive barrier against encroaching Packers fans zombies. I mean, in the show. On the Dan Ryan, the cops wouldn't last a minute. Getting back to the show, while I applaud the efforts of the shield-wielding police, shouldn't they have adopted a better defensive position, tactically? Using the cars is clever, but please note that the four-man groups are unable to support each other easily. The cars are in the way! If the zombies come en masse, the police are screwed. And I've just dissected a defensive position to determine its effectiveness against zombie attack. Thank heavens for the internet.
Oh, but they've got a dog with them, never mind. Lil' Yappy up there is promptly eaten by a zombie. No, no, sorry, no, Yappy goes running away. The undead don't seem to care... or do they? Hmmm... could that have been foreshadowing? Bwah-hah-ha-hahahahahahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Meanwhile, at the safehouseapartment, the girls prepare to take a bath. Wait, what?
Cue the sirens and put on your civil defense helmets, HSotD has gone to Fanservice Condition Red! I say again, Fanservice Condition Red! Oh god help us, it's a bathtub scene. This business will get out of control... it will get out of control, and we will be lucky to live through it.
It should go without saying that everything beyond this point should be considered Not Safe For Work.
more...
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April 11, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep05
So, last episode we saw Takashi and Rei get their photo taken by a recon plane, rob two
policemen and a gas station, and leave a survivor for the undead. Oh,
and about a third of the episode was taken up by a recap. Which would
be like this paragraph turning out to be seven hundred words long...
don't worry, I'm not gonna even try to do that to you. You want a recap
of last episode, or of the show so far? Read the episode posts!
Advantage: The Pond! So, High School of the Dead, what wonders bring you me with Episode 05?
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. The crew has finished its inspection of everybody on board, and apart from Mrs Snodgrass in First Class, nobody has shown any sign of being either infected or already dead. So as to not disturb the patrons in First Class, she has been moved to Coach. We will be experiencing a short delay as the runway seems to have been infested with the undead... or as we up here in the cockpit call them, passengers. Ha ha, just our little joke, we're kidding of course. We know you have your choice of airlines, so on behalf of all of us, we thank you for flying with Oceanic Airlines today."
Sucking a destroyed zombie into an engine would be only mildly better than sucking a "live" one into an engine, but you can push dead ones off the runway. Turning living undead into dead undead is her job, and she's quite good at it.
Her name is Rika, she lives on the second floor. She's the fifth-best sniper in the Japanese Police Special Assault Team, which seems rather a specific ranking. Me, I'm the third-best duck-based anime blogger whose name beings with a 'W'. I move up to second if you only count those of us who are currently blogging HSotD. Rika and her partner were scrambled to this unnamed "floating airport" which is pretty obviously Kansai International to help with a "terrorism" problem. Terrorism, undead, eh, whatever. They've got plenty of ammo, but sooner or later, they're gonna run out. What then? Well, she's got a friend in the city that she'll have to go find... a nurse at one of the high schools.
Well, isn't that convenient? Subtlety, thy abbreviation is HSotD.
more...
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. The crew has finished its inspection of everybody on board, and apart from Mrs Snodgrass in First Class, nobody has shown any sign of being either infected or already dead. So as to not disturb the patrons in First Class, she has been moved to Coach. We will be experiencing a short delay as the runway seems to have been infested with the undead... or as we up here in the cockpit call them, passengers. Ha ha, just our little joke, we're kidding of course. We know you have your choice of airlines, so on behalf of all of us, we thank you for flying with Oceanic Airlines today."
Sucking a destroyed zombie into an engine would be only mildly better than sucking a "live" one into an engine, but you can push dead ones off the runway. Turning living undead into dead undead is her job, and she's quite good at it.
Her name is Rika, she lives on the second floor. She's the fifth-best sniper in the Japanese Police Special Assault Team, which seems rather a specific ranking. Me, I'm the third-best duck-based anime blogger whose name beings with a 'W'. I move up to second if you only count those of us who are currently blogging HSotD. Rika and her partner were scrambled to this unnamed "floating airport" which is pretty obviously Kansai International to help with a "terrorism" problem. Terrorism, undead, eh, whatever. They've got plenty of ammo, but sooner or later, they're gonna run out. What then? Well, she's got a friend in the city that she'll have to go find... a nurse at one of the high schools.
Well, isn't that convenient? Subtlety, thy abbreviation is HSotD.
more...
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April 04, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep04
If my memory is correct, last episode Our Heroes escaped from Zombie High in a mini-bus. Along the way, they picked up Mr Shiro (a devious teacher) and what survivors from his class that remained (lickspittle whining toadies). At the end, Rei and Takashi leave the mini-bus, then are separated from the rest of the cast by an exploding busload of flaming zombies. They go on to find a motorcycle and head for the city. Then they find a F-4 Phantom II and take to the skies!
...or the JASDF has made an appearance, one of the two. Interestingly enough, a small amount of research indicates that the plane, probably a RF-4EJ, didn't take off in Japan proper. Instead, it almost certainly flew from Okinawa, home of the Southwestern Composite Air Division, which is the only unit of the JASDF to fly the recon variant of the standard F-4. So one could posit that, while the rest of the world is being affected, there are still some places that aren't. Okinawa, for example. The Falklands, certainly. One could continue to speculate, but that's not the point here. The point is, the authorities are trying to figure out what's going on
The picture isn't good, at least in this city. I don't know that I would have expected fires to have broken out like this so quickly, but maybe it's the result of all those incendiary undead from last episode. Are there armor-piercing zombies, too? However, all hope is not lost.
For where there is life, there is hope. Even if said life is a pair of teenage kids riding a motorcycle without helmets or even a license between them. While I commend the pilot for his exciting flying, does the show really expect us to believe that the Japanese don't make a camera that's got a halfway decent zoom lens on it for their recon aircraft? I mean, really? Do the names "Nikon", "Minolta," "Konika", "Pentax" or "Canon" ring any bells?
Whatever they've got, it's got one heckuva fast shutter speed to be able to take blurless photos with the combination of the aircraft's velocity and the distance to the aiming point being so ridiculous. At least the backseater's got decent taste in where he's got the camera focused.
But then again, this IS High School Of The Dead... what else would we expect?
more...
...or the JASDF has made an appearance, one of the two. Interestingly enough, a small amount of research indicates that the plane, probably a RF-4EJ, didn't take off in Japan proper. Instead, it almost certainly flew from Okinawa, home of the Southwestern Composite Air Division, which is the only unit of the JASDF to fly the recon variant of the standard F-4. So one could posit that, while the rest of the world is being affected, there are still some places that aren't. Okinawa, for example. The Falklands, certainly. One could continue to speculate, but that's not the point here. The point is, the authorities are trying to figure out what's going on
The picture isn't good, at least in this city. I don't know that I would have expected fires to have broken out like this so quickly, but maybe it's the result of all those incendiary undead from last episode. Are there armor-piercing zombies, too? However, all hope is not lost.
For where there is life, there is hope. Even if said life is a pair of teenage kids riding a motorcycle without helmets or even a license between them. While I commend the pilot for his exciting flying, does the show really expect us to believe that the Japanese don't make a camera that's got a halfway decent zoom lens on it for their recon aircraft? I mean, really? Do the names "Nikon", "Minolta," "Konika", "Pentax" or "Canon" ring any bells?
Whatever they've got, it's got one heckuva fast shutter speed to be able to take blurless photos with the combination of the aircraft's velocity and the distance to the aiming point being so ridiculous. At least the backseater's got decent taste in where he's got the camera focused.
But then again, this IS High School Of The Dead... what else would we expect?
more...
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April 01, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep03
Yes, really. If I can, I want to get a few more episodic recaps done before the next F1 race, too.
As you may remember from just a couple of days ago, the three pairs of survivors had made contact with each other and were making plans to rescue their family members when Rei turned on the TV...
...just in time to see a remote news team turned into hors d'oeuvres by a wave of reanimated corpses. The reaction of the television channel to the death of their newswoman and cameraman... on camera, no less... is just about what you'd expect from the world of TV.
Is there nothing that can't be fixed by a brightly colored scene, hand-drawn by kids? End of the world? Zombie apocalypse? Eh, just get more crayons! Saeko, apparently repulsed by the color magenta, changes the channel, perhaps looking for Ninja Warrior but instead stumbling across...
...uh... CMN? Whatever. The Cable Mews Network anchor reports that things are going zombietime all across the planet. Beijing is in flames. Contact has been lost with Moscow. London has managed to maintain control, undoubtedly because they've had experience lately, what with 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead and all. There's looting in Paris and Rome, which means it's basically just like every other day in Paris and Rome. Here in the US, the President is allegedly being evacuated to an aircraft carrier-based command post. Meanwhile, A-10 Warthogs are bombing the streets of New York City.
I'm okay with this. Really. Do we need to have a reason to do that? Aim for the New York Times building while you're at it... the place is full of mindless undead. Oooh, snap! from the apolitical anime blogger! While I'm feeling all sorts of triumphant for sticking it to Da MAN, the Pink Haired Harpy Saya is harshing everybody's groove by pointing out that they've got a pandemic on their hands... one that seems to be following a similar pattern to the 1918 Spanish Flu... or the Black Death in the 1300s. Y'know, two pandemics that ended only because they killed people too quick for them to pass the disease on? Except with this one, the vectors are human-sized and they walk...
With that thought ringing in your ears, sleep well tonight!
more...
As you may remember from just a couple of days ago, the three pairs of survivors had made contact with each other and were making plans to rescue their family members when Rei turned on the TV...
...just in time to see a remote news team turned into hors d'oeuvres by a wave of reanimated corpses. The reaction of the television channel to the death of their newswoman and cameraman... on camera, no less... is just about what you'd expect from the world of TV.
Is there nothing that can't be fixed by a brightly colored scene, hand-drawn by kids? End of the world? Zombie apocalypse? Eh, just get more crayons! Saeko, apparently repulsed by the color magenta, changes the channel, perhaps looking for Ninja Warrior but instead stumbling across...
...uh... CMN? Whatever. The Cable Mews Network anchor reports that things are going zombietime all across the planet. Beijing is in flames. Contact has been lost with Moscow. London has managed to maintain control, undoubtedly because they've had experience lately, what with 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead and all. There's looting in Paris and Rome, which means it's basically just like every other day in Paris and Rome. Here in the US, the President is allegedly being evacuated to an aircraft carrier-based command post. Meanwhile, A-10 Warthogs are bombing the streets of New York City.
I'm okay with this. Really. Do we need to have a reason to do that? Aim for the New York Times building while you're at it... the place is full of mindless undead. Oooh, snap! from the apolitical anime blogger! While I'm feeling all sorts of triumphant for sticking it to Da MAN, the Pink Haired Harpy Saya is harshing everybody's groove by pointing out that they've got a pandemic on their hands... one that seems to be following a similar pattern to the 1918 Spanish Flu... or the Black Death in the 1300s. Y'know, two pandemics that ended only because they killed people too quick for them to pass the disease on? Except with this one, the vectors are human-sized and they walk...
With that thought ringing in your ears, sleep well tonight!
more...
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March 29, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep02
Have you ever had a bad day? You wake up, stub your toe, slip in the
shower, can't find a pair of socks that match, dump a cup of coffee on
your khakis, your customers are all grumpy, the boss screams at you for
nothing, your car gets a flat, the girlfriend dumps you, and finally
your bed breaks and dumps you on the cat who promptly turns you into
into his personal scratching post. By the time you stop the bleeding
it's three in the morning and you have to be up in a couple of hours to
do it all over again. That's a bad day.
Then there's the day Takashi and Rei are having. The zombie apocalypse has begun, their city is in turmoil, they've seen many of their classmates eaten, and he had to put his best friend Hisashi down after he got bitten defending Rei from their Modern Japanese teacher.
But hey, you keep mourning the loss of your quad venti skinny 170 mocha macchiato no lid double cup. At least they have socks that match, right?
Meanwhile back in the zombie zoo, pink-haired harpy Saya Takagi has teamed up with Kohta Hirano, overweight loser and author of the Hellsing manga, and she's not happy about it. Of all the people in the school for her, a super-genius, to end up with... he's slow, doesn't like walking, and kinda dumb. He wears glasses. His socks probably don't even match. And good lord, have you read Hellsing? What sort of twisted mind comes up with Nazi Vampires in zeppelins destroying London? Well, there's nothing for it...
...she'll just have to boss him around until the running starts. That way, she won't have to be faster that the zombies, she'll just have to be faster than him. Though maybe he'll be worth keeping around, somehow, because when the zombie apocalypse occurs you still need someone to be comic relief.
Because violence and fanservice will only get you so far.
more...
Then there's the day Takashi and Rei are having. The zombie apocalypse has begun, their city is in turmoil, they've seen many of their classmates eaten, and he had to put his best friend Hisashi down after he got bitten defending Rei from their Modern Japanese teacher.
But hey, you keep mourning the loss of your quad venti skinny 170 mocha macchiato no lid double cup. At least they have socks that match, right?
Meanwhile back in the zombie zoo, pink-haired harpy Saya Takagi has teamed up with Kohta Hirano, overweight loser and author of the Hellsing manga, and she's not happy about it. Of all the people in the school for her, a super-genius, to end up with... he's slow, doesn't like walking, and kinda dumb. He wears glasses. His socks probably don't even match. And good lord, have you read Hellsing? What sort of twisted mind comes up with Nazi Vampires in zeppelins destroying London? Well, there's nothing for it...
...she'll just have to boss him around until the running starts. That way, she won't have to be faster that the zombies, she'll just have to be faster than him. Though maybe he'll be worth keeping around, somehow, because when the zombie apocalypse occurs you still need someone to be comic relief.
Because violence and fanservice will only get you so far.
more...
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March 11, 2012
High School Of The Dead Ep01
There are times when I greatly enjoy blogging. Where the intellectual
stimulation it provides makes the sky blue, the birdies sing, my toes
tingle and puts a big cheesy grin upon my face. And then there are the
times when I spend days banging my head against any convenient sturdy
surface while trying to figure out how to deal with a topic. Can you
guess which one of these two options I've been experiencing as I've
watched and rewatched the first episode of High School Of The Dead?
Don't get me wrong, I really like this show, but writing about an
action series can be frustrating in the extreme. But enough about my
problems, let's get on with why you're really here... the zombie
apocalypse!
"I stayed up late the night before the world came to an end" says the unnamed narrator. Of course, he's a high school student... chances are he stays up late every night. I did when I was a high schooler, even though I didn't have any reason to... I was a good little student. Still, the drama is higher with the world ending than, say, "I stayed up late the night before one of my socks disappeared."
Suddenly, zombies! The walking dead! Draugr! Oh, and three allegedly non-zombie kids running across the roof of a school, armed with a baseball bat, a pointed stick, and a bloody bandage. Wait, what?
A brief skirmish points out that the only way to kill the Shambling Deceased is to hit 'em in the head, and they that appear to be unstoppable otherwise. Slow, but unstoppable. Our heroes gain the heights of the Observatory Platform, and after saying that, I would like to point out that schools in Japan get all the cool stuff... an observatory? Really? I mean, yeah sure, my high school had a radio station, but I hand-wound the transmitter's antenna for pete's sake. It had a range of about 100 yards! We didn't have no frickin' observatory. We did have ducks though, and that makes up for a lot. If we DID have an observatory, I think there's a fair chance I wouldn't be sitting here, hammering on my keyboard on a weekend, but I digress. The uninjured fellow takes one look at the Waddling Cadavers and yells to the heavens "What the hell is going on?!?!"
High School Of The Dead, that's what's going on... and you're right in the middle of it, buster!
more...
"I stayed up late the night before the world came to an end" says the unnamed narrator. Of course, he's a high school student... chances are he stays up late every night. I did when I was a high schooler, even though I didn't have any reason to... I was a good little student. Still, the drama is higher with the world ending than, say, "I stayed up late the night before one of my socks disappeared."
Suddenly, zombies! The walking dead! Draugr! Oh, and three allegedly non-zombie kids running across the roof of a school, armed with a baseball bat, a pointed stick, and a bloody bandage. Wait, what?
A brief skirmish points out that the only way to kill the Shambling Deceased is to hit 'em in the head, and they that appear to be unstoppable otherwise. Slow, but unstoppable. Our heroes gain the heights of the Observatory Platform, and after saying that, I would like to point out that schools in Japan get all the cool stuff... an observatory? Really? I mean, yeah sure, my high school had a radio station, but I hand-wound the transmitter's antenna for pete's sake. It had a range of about 100 yards! We didn't have no frickin' observatory. We did have ducks though, and that makes up for a lot. If we DID have an observatory, I think there's a fair chance I wouldn't be sitting here, hammering on my keyboard on a weekend, but I digress. The uninjured fellow takes one look at the Waddling Cadavers and yells to the heavens "What the hell is going on?!?!"
High School Of The Dead, that's what's going on... and you're right in the middle of it, buster!
more...
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March 04, 2012
The Polls Are Now Closed
The votes are in. The Pond Scum has spoken. The next series that I'll be doing an episodic recap for is High School Of The Dead.
However, I will say that this wasn't the show I hoped would win. If I hadn't of opened the choice up to voting, I probably would have done Blood-C. There's a lot more train-wreckage in that one, though it did all make sense... eventually. I may even still do it sometime down the road. Alas, only DiGiKerot and David voted for it. I'll admit that I threw Library Wars into the mix because I actually enjoyed the show; yes, that's right, I was one of the few.
Which brings me to Black Lagoon. It's outstanding. It's one of the best anime series I've ever seen. It's also grimmer than the Warhammer 40K universe. It takes a lot to make the Zombie Apocalypse seem light and fluffy, but in comparison to Black Lagoon, pretty much anything is cotton candy and unicorns farting rainbows. Having said all that, it might have been interesting to recap, but all in all I think I'm glad it didn't win. Though, it is a shame I won't get to say anything officially about this scene:
...because it's an Elco 80' PT boat firing two Mk8 torpedoes at a Mi-24 "Hind" helicopter, and you just don't get much of a chance to say things like that very often.
So the final counts were:
High School of the Dead - 9 votes
Black Lagoon - 5 votes
Blood C - 2 vote
Library Wars - just watching.
Stay tuned for the first recap of HSotD, coming awfully soon.
This is Wonderduck's complete lack of surprise.
Considering that it was my favorite show in 2010, this will hardly be a chore. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't the best anime series of 2010, just the one I enjoyed the most, the one I most looked forward to watching. Considering that Season 3 of Hidamari Sketch ran that year, as did Amagami SS, Sora no Woto, Strike Witches S2 and Ikkitousen Xtreme Xecutor, all of which I greatly enjoyed, that's really saying something. Heck, I'm even reading the manga for HSotD as well, and I don't read all that much manga.However, I will say that this wasn't the show I hoped would win. If I hadn't of opened the choice up to voting, I probably would have done Blood-C. There's a lot more train-wreckage in that one, though it did all make sense... eventually. I may even still do it sometime down the road. Alas, only DiGiKerot and David voted for it. I'll admit that I threw Library Wars into the mix because I actually enjoyed the show; yes, that's right, I was one of the few.
Which brings me to Black Lagoon. It's outstanding. It's one of the best anime series I've ever seen. It's also grimmer than the Warhammer 40K universe. It takes a lot to make the Zombie Apocalypse seem light and fluffy, but in comparison to Black Lagoon, pretty much anything is cotton candy and unicorns farting rainbows. Having said all that, it might have been interesting to recap, but all in all I think I'm glad it didn't win. Though, it is a shame I won't get to say anything officially about this scene:
...because it's an Elco 80' PT boat firing two Mk8 torpedoes at a Mi-24 "Hind" helicopter, and you just don't get much of a chance to say things like that very often.
So the final counts were:
High School of the Dead - 9 votes
Black Lagoon - 5 votes
Blood C - 2 vote
Library Wars - just watching.
Stay tuned for the first recap of HSotD, coming awfully soon.
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March 02, 2012
Voting Is Now Open
That's right, you read that correctly. I have an urge. I have a need. I have an itch, which the doctor gave me an ointment for but never mind that now. I have... a hunger. I must do my annual episodic series recap. Two years ago, it was Ga-Rei Zero. Last year, Rio Rainbow Gate! was both my muse and my bane. And now, it is time for me to strike whimper suck recap again... and I'm going to let YOU, my endearing readers that I lovingly call The Pond Scum, vote on what series I'll do. Here are the candidates:
High School Of The Dead
Zombie Apocalypse meets Japanese High Schoolers in a fight to the death... undeath... whatever. Great action, hideously top-heavy female character designs, comedy... what's not to like?
Toshokan Sensou (Library Wars)
In the not-too-distant future (next Sunday A.D.), the Government cracks down on books and magazines it deems offensive. Naturally, the nation's librarians take up arms against the oppressors. Or something like that. Not terrible art, some fun times, action, romance... what's not to like?
Black Lagoon
The times are grim. The times are dark. Nuns and maids are heavily armed. And everybody has a toothache. Violence, awfully black humor, good art, and you see a helicopter shot down by a torpedo. For what it's worth, the seiyuu for Revy, Megumi Toyoguchi, has a voice like liquid sex... not that you'll be able to hear it on here.
Blood-C
Schoolgirl is a little klutzy, a little dim, quite friendly, and able to kill everybody within a 50m radius using her sword without breaking a sweat. Fortunately, she's just a demon hunter. Or is she? Bwahahahahahahahaha!!! The most recent show of the four, it's got the best art and the worst hairstyle I've ever seen (see above). Also: grim, dark, toothache. Or is it?
So those are your choices. Consider them wisely, for your mind may be at stake. Mine is already forfeit. Balloting is open until 1159pm Sunday, March 4th. One vote per reader (unless you're from Chicago). Leave your choice in the comments. No write-ins. The top rung is not to be used as a step. Huh, will you look at that: "breach hull, all die." I even had it underlined. Make your picks, place your bets!
High School Of The Dead
Zombie Apocalypse meets Japanese High Schoolers in a fight to the death... undeath... whatever. Great action, hideously top-heavy female character designs, comedy... what's not to like?
Toshokan Sensou (Library Wars)
In the not-too-distant future (next Sunday A.D.), the Government cracks down on books and magazines it deems offensive. Naturally, the nation's librarians take up arms against the oppressors. Or something like that. Not terrible art, some fun times, action, romance... what's not to like?
Black Lagoon
The times are grim. The times are dark. Nuns and maids are heavily armed. And everybody has a toothache. Violence, awfully black humor, good art, and you see a helicopter shot down by a torpedo. For what it's worth, the seiyuu for Revy, Megumi Toyoguchi, has a voice like liquid sex... not that you'll be able to hear it on here.
Blood-C
Schoolgirl is a little klutzy, a little dim, quite friendly, and able to kill everybody within a 50m radius using her sword without breaking a sweat. Fortunately, she's just a demon hunter. Or is she? Bwahahahahahahahaha!!! The most recent show of the four, it's got the best art and the worst hairstyle I've ever seen (see above). Also: grim, dark, toothache. Or is it?
So those are your choices. Consider them wisely, for your mind may be at stake. Mine is already forfeit. Balloting is open until 1159pm Sunday, March 4th. One vote per reader (unless you're from Chicago). Leave your choice in the comments. No write-ins. The top rung is not to be used as a step. Huh, will you look at that: "breach hull, all die." I even had it underlined. Make your picks, place your bets!
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December 03, 2011
Rio Rainbow Gate! ep14
After I escaped from the clutches of Rio Rainbow Gate! episode 13, I thought I was quit of the whole thing. After all, the series was over... it was done, and though they left a small window open for a second series, nobody in their right mind would ever authorize a sequel, right? Right. At least, that's what I keep telling myself... it helps me sleep at night. Then in Japan, they began to release the DVDs and BDs and my heart sank. There were to be seven discs, with two episodes per disc... but there were only thirteen episodes released. That meant there was going to be an extra episode made... and I was going to have to return to my worst nightmare. There was still hope, though: no fansub groups seemed to be interested in doing the BD releases. When the release date came and went for the final disc with no sign of Ep14, I rejoiced. Maybe it wouldn't have to happen after all! But as time went on, I began to... worry. I became nervous. I jumped in my seat a little bit every time I saw the letter "R" on a torrent file at the usual sites. I stopped eating. My hair began to fall out. My eyebrows grew at a furious rate. A visit to the doctor returned the expected diagnosis: I was suffering from excessive stress. Since everything else in my life was going more or less as normal, it was obvious what was causing my problems... the tension involved with the non-release of the bonus episode was at fault. Days and weeks stretched to months. Time seemed to slow down, every minute feeling like an hour. A gray pall fell over the world, though to be fair that was because I neglected to clean my glasses. I began to haunt the three fansub groups that had broken down and released some BD subs, alternately anticipating the notification that they'd completed the extra episode and hoping that they hadn't. Sleep became difficult to achieve. What remained of my hair turned white. I realized that the lack of RRG! was killing me even more effectively than its presence would. When the episode finally came out, the release of the tension caused me to pass out. I awoke hours later with the notification that the download had completed shining on my computer monitor. With trembling fingers, I double-clicked the file and settled back into my computer chair, and much to my surprise, I smiled... and at that moment, I realized something important. This is my destiny, my fate. I must do this, just as a lemming must execute a forward triple-somersault with a twist from the pike position off a cliff in Norway.
The city of Townsville! Casino Island, how I've missed you with your towering skyscrapers that we never really saw in the original thirteen episodes. It's good to be back... it's like coming home and finding a fresh cup of hot chocolate waiting for you in the kitchen. Until you realize that you live alone and you have no idea how the hot chocolate was made, until you see the burglar come out of the connecting hallway with a bag full of your stuff over his arm. Yeah, it's exactly like that.
A brisk morning ocean breeze blows over the Island, wafting a discarded eggroll wrapper towards the Casino that gave the island its name... and didn't the casino rise directly over the water before? Ah, Rio Rainbow Gate! Production Staff , it's been much too long. I've missed your lack of attention to detail, much like I miss a painfully decayed tooth that's been pulled out of my head by wrapping a string around it and attaching the other end to the back of a Top Fuel dragster. Yeah, it's exactly like that.
Actually, the discarded eggroll wrapper was last seen in Ep11. For those who don't remember, and how I wish I could be counted amongst your number, that's the episode that saw The Usual Suspects attempt to break Evil Cartia's grip on the "stolen" Casino Island by gambling and winning away all her fortune. Realizing that this was only a minor challenge, she called for "Ten," a young girl who had the power to control anything, as long as it was made in China. In that episode, she turned Mint's bear, Chocco, into a real girl named An-An. I don't believe I just typed that from memory.
Meanwhile in the slums of Casino Island, a terribly late-running Anya makes a vow: to get out of this horrible show as soon as she can, maybe land in a Noitamina production... heck, she'd sign up for a guest appearance in Ben-To right now, that's much better than being in this mess to go an entire day without tripping over her own feet. While for you or me this might not seem like so much of a much, for our Russian dealer this is akin to saying "I'm not going to breathe at all today." That's right: impossible. I'm sure our favorite Production Staff won't disappoint. Unfortunately, they're not working on this show, we're stuck with the ones for Rio Rainbow Gate!. After a brief glimpse of all the Usual Suspects as they get ready to greet the day, we're off to the races.
more...
The city of Townsville! Casino Island, how I've missed you with your towering skyscrapers that we never really saw in the original thirteen episodes. It's good to be back... it's like coming home and finding a fresh cup of hot chocolate waiting for you in the kitchen. Until you realize that you live alone and you have no idea how the hot chocolate was made, until you see the burglar come out of the connecting hallway with a bag full of your stuff over his arm. Yeah, it's exactly like that.
A brisk morning ocean breeze blows over the Island, wafting a discarded eggroll wrapper towards the Casino that gave the island its name... and didn't the casino rise directly over the water before? Ah, Rio Rainbow Gate! Production Staff , it's been much too long. I've missed your lack of attention to detail, much like I miss a painfully decayed tooth that's been pulled out of my head by wrapping a string around it and attaching the other end to the back of a Top Fuel dragster. Yeah, it's exactly like that.
Actually, the discarded eggroll wrapper was last seen in Ep11. For those who don't remember, and how I wish I could be counted amongst your number, that's the episode that saw The Usual Suspects attempt to break Evil Cartia's grip on the "stolen" Casino Island by gambling and winning away all her fortune. Realizing that this was only a minor challenge, she called for "Ten," a young girl who had the power to control anything, as long as it was made in China. In that episode, she turned Mint's bear, Chocco, into a real girl named An-An. I don't believe I just typed that from memory.
Meanwhile in the slums of Casino Island, a terribly late-running Anya makes a vow: to get out of this horrible show as soon as she can, maybe land in a Noitamina production... heck, she'd sign up for a guest appearance in Ben-To right now, that's much better than being in this mess to go an entire day without tripping over her own feet. While for you or me this might not seem like so much of a much, for our Russian dealer this is akin to saying "I'm not going to breathe at all today." That's right: impossible. I'm sure our favorite Production Staff won't disappoint. Unfortunately, they're not working on this show, we're stuck with the ones for Rio Rainbow Gate!. After a brief glimpse of all the Usual Suspects as they get ready to greet the day, we're off to the races.
more...
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May 01, 2011
Rio Rainbow Gate! The Lost Reviews: Ep03
So here we are: Episode 03 of Rio Rainbow Gate!. The second and last of the "lost reviews" for the series. Unlike the first of the lost reviews, for Ep02, Ep03 did get a little attention when it was first released, but nothing like what's about to occur. As you'll soon see, this particular episode is actually pretty important to the overarching plot of RRG!, as thin and watery as that is. The first time I watched it, I wrote it off as just another filler episode in a show chock full of them... now, with the benefit of knowing what happens, it becomes the catalyst for the rest of the series.
Which doesn't make it any better, mind you. It just makes it important that I inflict more psychic damage upon myself. Great. Well, without further ado, allow me to summon up the mind-flaying power of RRG! and Ep03!
A beautiful day on Casino Island! Quite the contrast to the constant thunderstorms plaguing the place in the later episodes, eh? Entirely created and totally owned by Our Heroine's boss, The Owner, who has just purchased an abandoned casino on the edge of the island. Wait, what? I'm confused. Casino Island and everything on it is 100% the property of The Owner, but he just bought a place that was there before the island existed? Logic, meet Rio Rainbow Gate!. I'm sure the two of you will attempt to murder each other within seconds get along famously.
Misery Castle was owned by a young woman who loved only two things in life: gambling and chicken wings. She ran a casino in the basement until she lost it all to a high roller. Since then, the Castle sat derelict on Casino Island (wha?) until The Owner took it over and decided to make it another of his classic attractions. The casino is in the process of being restored to its original condition, and he expects it to be quite the moneymaker.
Rio objects, pointing out that she's already working seven days a week and can't be expected to work here and at the main casino and train Anya too. No problem, because The Owner has hired another dealer, someone with experience. In any case, it's going to be a while before the place is ready to go. Our Heroine is somewhat taken aback... jealousy, Rio?... but doesn't complain. Much.
more...
Which doesn't make it any better, mind you. It just makes it important that I inflict more psychic damage upon myself. Great. Well, without further ado, allow me to summon up the mind-flaying power of RRG! and Ep03!
A beautiful day on Casino Island! Quite the contrast to the constant thunderstorms plaguing the place in the later episodes, eh? Entirely created and totally owned by Our Heroine's boss, The Owner, who has just purchased an abandoned casino on the edge of the island. Wait, what? I'm confused. Casino Island and everything on it is 100% the property of The Owner, but he just bought a place that was there before the island existed? Logic, meet Rio Rainbow Gate!. I'm sure the two of you will attempt to murder each other within seconds get along famously.
Misery Castle was owned by a young woman who loved only two things in life: gambling and chicken wings. She ran a casino in the basement until she lost it all to a high roller. Since then, the Castle sat derelict on Casino Island (wha?) until The Owner took it over and decided to make it another of his classic attractions. The casino is in the process of being restored to its original condition, and he expects it to be quite the moneymaker.
Rio objects, pointing out that she's already working seven days a week and can't be expected to work here and at the main casino and train Anya too. No problem, because The Owner has hired another dealer, someone with experience. In any case, it's going to be a while before the place is ready to go. Our Heroine is somewhat taken aback... jealousy, Rio?... but doesn't complain. Much.
more...
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April 15, 2011
Rio Rainbow Gate! The Lost Reviews: Ep02
(Wonderduck's note: my internet connection went down again, just before I finished this. It was supposed to go up Thursday night... the best laid plans of ducks and men...)
I do not believe I'm doing this. I thought I had finished with these things, but somewhere in the back of my mind, there was a little figure in a shrimp costume that keep nagging me: "You've left something incomplete." Sure enough, back when RRG! first started airing, I reviewed Ep01, made a brief comment for Ep03, then carried on every week from there. But I never did a full writeup for Ep02, and Ep03 deserves one as well, if only because of that's when Rina joins the cast. So sit back, relax, buckle in and strap it down, because I'm going back into hell. I'm going back to Casino Island. I'm going back to...
Do not pray for my immortal soul, friends, for it's already been damned to suffer eternal torment by viewing this show. Just spare a thought for the agonies I am about to endure for your enjoyment, and when you think of me... think well.
more...
I do not believe I'm doing this. I thought I had finished with these things, but somewhere in the back of my mind, there was a little figure in a shrimp costume that keep nagging me: "You've left something incomplete." Sure enough, back when RRG! first started airing, I reviewed Ep01, made a brief comment for Ep03, then carried on every week from there. But I never did a full writeup for Ep02, and Ep03 deserves one as well, if only because of that's when Rina joins the cast. So sit back, relax, buckle in and strap it down, because I'm going back into hell. I'm going back to Casino Island. I'm going back to...
Do not pray for my immortal soul, friends, for it's already been damned to suffer eternal torment by viewing this show. Just spare a thought for the agonies I am about to endure for your enjoyment, and when you think of me... think well.
more...
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April 03, 2011
Rio Rainbow Gate! ep13
Captive's Log Day 89: It's been nearly three months since I was last free. Nearly three months since the torture began. Nearly three months since my sanity began to fade. Nearly three months since I was first subjected to the nightmare that is Rio Rainbow Gate!. How was I to know what that first viewing would do to me, both short- and long-term? At first I resisted... I knew what the Production Staff was trying to do, and I refused to let them break me. Slowly, however, they weaseled their way under my barriers and I began to... care. Care about the show. Care about the characters. Care about the ultimate outcome. It was Stockholm Syndrome, a classic case if there ever was one. The bastards nearly had me then. Somehow, I got through it with some shreds of sanity and human decency left. Then I began to hate. I nurtured that hate and rage and anger as a way to get me through whatever they decided to do to me. It worked. I've managed to make it to the end. One last episode to go and then I'm a free man. There's nothing they can do to me that'll make the pain any worse, for I can see the end. I've done it. I'll have survived Rio Rainbow Gate!. Come, Production Staff, one last dance... for old time's sake. Then I'll quit you forever.
We pick up mere minutes after the end of Ep12, with the final Gate Battle still in progress. Our Heroine and her sister are locked in a cutthroat game of poker, the first to win fifteen hands is victorious. The winner gets all 13 Gates, becomes only the second Most Valuable Card Dealer ever, and will get to "see the rainbow," whatever that means. The loser? We'd rather not think about that, but it probably involves holographic flying sharks. When we last saw the game, Rina was up two games to zero. The situation has changed somewhat.
The looks on the faces of the Usual Suspects says it all. Stunned disbelief. Growing despair. A sense of loss, a sense of failure. Depression. Sadness. Hopelessness. In short, the entire Rio Rainbow Gate! experience, all in one screenshot. Our Heroine has lost thirteen hands in a row, and as we watch, the fourteenth goes to Rina as well.
The amount of raw smug coming off of Rina is amazing as she mocks her sister's performance. The culmination of her life's ambition is at hand, her vengeance nearly complete.
And yet, for someone about to be completely embarrassed, Rio seems to be remarkably unconcerned... almost like she knows something nobody else does. In fact, her attitude begins to rankle Rina, who actually gets angry. The Owner yells from the crowd that Rio doesn't need to throw the game to make up for her past transgressions against her sister, that it's all right to win... and Rina goes full psycho, screaming accusations across the table. Rio just smiles and says something to the effect of "it's just the way the cards are falling. Isn't that the way casino games are supposed to work?" The final hand is dealt.
more...
We pick up mere minutes after the end of Ep12, with the final Gate Battle still in progress. Our Heroine and her sister are locked in a cutthroat game of poker, the first to win fifteen hands is victorious. The winner gets all 13 Gates, becomes only the second Most Valuable Card Dealer ever, and will get to "see the rainbow," whatever that means. The loser? We'd rather not think about that, but it probably involves holographic flying sharks. When we last saw the game, Rina was up two games to zero. The situation has changed somewhat.
The looks on the faces of the Usual Suspects says it all. Stunned disbelief. Growing despair. A sense of loss, a sense of failure. Depression. Sadness. Hopelessness. In short, the entire Rio Rainbow Gate! experience, all in one screenshot. Our Heroine has lost thirteen hands in a row, and as we watch, the fourteenth goes to Rina as well.
The amount of raw smug coming off of Rina is amazing as she mocks her sister's performance. The culmination of her life's ambition is at hand, her vengeance nearly complete.
And yet, for someone about to be completely embarrassed, Rio seems to be remarkably unconcerned... almost like she knows something nobody else does. In fact, her attitude begins to rankle Rina, who actually gets angry. The Owner yells from the crowd that Rio doesn't need to throw the game to make up for her past transgressions against her sister, that it's all right to win... and Rina goes full psycho, screaming accusations across the table. Rio just smiles and says something to the effect of "it's just the way the cards are falling. Isn't that the way casino games are supposed to work?" The final hand is dealt.
more...
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March 28, 2011
Rio Rainbow Gate! ep12
There are times when I question my own sanity. Like tonight, for instance. It's the last night of a mini-vacation for me, four days away from the Duck U Bookstore. On my DVR are three movies I really want to watch, I've got laundry to fold, and all in all there's plenty of things I could be doing. Instead, I find myself watching Episode 12 of Rio Rainbow Gate!, a show which is really quite bad. So this is one of those times when I question my obviously tenuous grasp on what remains of my sanity. Why in the world do I subject myself to this?
The virtuous answer would be "so you, my readers, don't have to," but honestly I'd prefer company in my misery. Near as I can tell, I'm the only blogger regularly covering RRG!; certainly I've looked hither and yon for another and come up empty. The selfish answer would be "to inflict this misery on others," but I try to avoid being sadistic usually. The frightening answer is "I secretly enjoy this drek." While there might be some kernel of truth to this one, there have been plenty of shows I like more that I've written about less... or at all, for that matter. There's the historical answer: "I'm recording this for posterity, for the chance that future generations will see it and not make the same mistake," which, while admirable, is just bull hockey. I'd hate to think that we're the only ones in history stupid enough to create a RRG!. No, I believe there is only one true correct answer.
We open sometime after the end of Episode 11, with a formal contract being signed by The Owner, evil Cartia, Our Heroine and Rina. There's to be a final Gate Battle, winner takes all. If Rio wins, she gets the Gates, The Owner gets Casino Island back and all is cotton candy and unicorn farts. If Rina wins, she gets the Gates, her revenge on those who ruined her family, and evil Cartia gets to "see the Rainbow," whatever that means.
But first, The Owner takes Rio and The Usual Suspects on a vacation. Everybody wonders about the timing of this, and to be fair it does seem somewhat strange. I mean, it's not like Rio is on the top of her game, even though she's managed a good comeback from her devastating loss some episodes ago. Well, maybe this will refresh her. My guess is that The Owner just wanted to see everybody in swimsuits.
Yes, just like that. But the island they're headed to has a dark secret behind it...
more...
The virtuous answer would be "so you, my readers, don't have to," but honestly I'd prefer company in my misery. Near as I can tell, I'm the only blogger regularly covering RRG!; certainly I've looked hither and yon for another and come up empty. The selfish answer would be "to inflict this misery on others," but I try to avoid being sadistic usually. The frightening answer is "I secretly enjoy this drek." While there might be some kernel of truth to this one, there have been plenty of shows I like more that I've written about less... or at all, for that matter. There's the historical answer: "I'm recording this for posterity, for the chance that future generations will see it and not make the same mistake," which, while admirable, is just bull hockey. I'd hate to think that we're the only ones in history stupid enough to create a RRG!. No, I believe there is only one true correct answer.
Two, actually.
Nobody is as saddened by this revelation as me. I liked to think I had come somewhat farther than that in my thinking as I've gotten older, but apparently maturity has evaded me. Sad, really... particularly because RRG! is pretty tame as far as fanservice shows go. But yet, here I am, spending hours blogging about it. Lord knows it isn't for the plot, the characterization, the action, the artwork or the humor. So what's left?We open sometime after the end of Episode 11, with a formal contract being signed by The Owner, evil Cartia, Our Heroine and Rina. There's to be a final Gate Battle, winner takes all. If Rio wins, she gets the Gates, The Owner gets Casino Island back and all is cotton candy and unicorn farts. If Rina wins, she gets the Gates, her revenge on those who ruined her family, and evil Cartia gets to "see the Rainbow," whatever that means.
But first, The Owner takes Rio and The Usual Suspects on a vacation. Everybody wonders about the timing of this, and to be fair it does seem somewhat strange. I mean, it's not like Rio is on the top of her game, even though she's managed a good comeback from her devastating loss some episodes ago. Well, maybe this will refresh her. My guess is that The Owner just wanted to see everybody in swimsuits.
Yes, just like that. But the island they're headed to has a dark secret behind it...
more...
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March 20, 2011
Rio Rainbow Gate! ep11
Say what you want about Rio Rainbow Gate! (and you'd best believe I will), say that it's nothing more than weak fanservicey crepe, say there's no characterization and a lame plot, say the artwork is poor to meh... you can say all those things, and I'd agree with you. However, RRG! earned a place in anime history this week. Following the horrible earthquake and tsunami of March 11th, most shows currently airing were either postponed until a future date or were broadcast with half the screen covered by governmental messages and warnings, as one would expect with a disaster of such wide-ranging scope and size. But RRG! was one of the very few series to run at its normal time this week, with a screen clear of notifications. Either the Japanese Authorities thought that what the nation of Japan really needed after such tragedy, such misery, was a brain-dead anime about young busty gamblers in stupid situations... or RRG! only airs on a small UHF station in a tiny fishing village in the far southwest of Kyushu. Either way, it actually occurred and that's got to count for something in the grand scheme of things, right? So it's got that going for it. Which is nice. It's probably the only way that RRG! is going to be remembered. Except by me. By me, this putrid mess will be remembered as a great source of elemental pain and mental anguish. It tortures me. Even with the worst natural disaster Japan has suffered since the 1920s, it still aired on time, which meant that I had to suffer through watching it as if nothing had changed. Can't even give me a week off can you, RRG!? No, you're too much the sadist for that. "Production Staff, we've got one person out there reviewing us. One. Well, we'll make that one person feel such agony that it'll be worth it for us." Bastards. Have you no pity, RRG!? Have you no shame? No? Fine. But let the results be upon your head.
We open Episode 11 some amount of time after the ending of Episode 10. The casino is quietly buzzing with happy people losing money, as casinos are wont to do. Then interlopers are seen in the lobby.
As the theme song to The Magnificent Seven begins to play in the background, Elmer Bernstein begins to spin in his grave Our Heroes, determined looks upon their faces, gaze upon what will soon become their hunting grounds. Their goal? Nothing less than to win enough to break Casino Island and buy it back from evil Cartia's clutches.
Men want them. Women want to be them. They are...
...The Usual Suspects. I guess they decided that the bunnygirl outfits weren't classy enough. It's almost like the Production Staff read my complaints about the idiocy of Our Heroines wearing their old uniforms even though they were no longer employed by a casino.
more...
We open Episode 11 some amount of time after the ending of Episode 10. The casino is quietly buzzing with happy people losing money, as casinos are wont to do. Then interlopers are seen in the lobby.
As the theme song to The Magnificent Seven begins to play in the background, Elmer Bernstein begins to spin in his grave Our Heroes, determined looks upon their faces, gaze upon what will soon become their hunting grounds. Their goal? Nothing less than to win enough to break Casino Island and buy it back from evil Cartia's clutches.
Men want them. Women want to be them. They are...
...The Usual Suspects. I guess they decided that the bunnygirl outfits weren't classy enough. It's almost like the Production Staff read my complaints about the idiocy of Our Heroines wearing their old uniforms even though they were no longer employed by a casino.
more...
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March 13, 2011
Rio Rainbow Gate! ep10
We open Episode 10 of Rio Rainbow Gate! pretty much where we finished Episode 09, inside some Gate Holder's roll ruler... essentially their magical power. Casino Island is deserted except for Rio and Dana, The Owner's magician, with no clue what's going on and no way to get out. And then the Laser Weasels come.
Instead of lasering up and turning Rio into a flaming pile of ash, the Laser Weasel begins running away. What sort of Laser Weasel runs away? He's a disgrace to the race is what he is... he's even wearing a frickin' bow tie! Who would have ever thought there'd be such a thing as a Laser Weasel Nerd? I'm so disappointed. Rio and Dana follow the Laser Weasel, and he leads them right to the Casino.
And in the casino? The Owner, tied up, and some dork in a New Orleans-style Mardi Gras costume... who calls "him"self Joker. I put "him" in quotes because while everybody is calling Joker "him", "his" voice is so obviously female that I'm wondering about the intelligence level of everybody involved in this scene. Joker harangues Our Heroine and challenges her to a game of blackjack. They both end up with the same score: a push.
more...
Instead of lasering up and turning Rio into a flaming pile of ash, the Laser Weasel begins running away. What sort of Laser Weasel runs away? He's a disgrace to the race is what he is... he's even wearing a frickin' bow tie! Who would have ever thought there'd be such a thing as a Laser Weasel Nerd? I'm so disappointed. Rio and Dana follow the Laser Weasel, and he leads them right to the Casino.
And in the casino? The Owner, tied up, and some dork in a New Orleans-style Mardi Gras costume... who calls "him"self Joker. I put "him" in quotes because while everybody is calling Joker "him", "his" voice is so obviously female that I'm wondering about the intelligence level of everybody involved in this scene. Joker harangues Our Heroine and challenges her to a game of blackjack. They both end up with the same score: a push.
more...
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March 06, 2011
Rio Rainbow Gate! ep09
I'll admit to a general reluctance to recap this episode of Rio Rainbow Gate!. Let's face it, there's pretty much no way to describe the series as good, and after last week I feared what the production team would bring us. Our heroine defeated by the forces of evil, her Gates gone, and only two remaining that aren't in the clutches of Cartia? What idiot would bring themselves anywhere within range of Rio? Even this production staff couldn't come up with a way to pull that one off. So what could RRG! bring us this week that would be exciting? Go ahead, try and figure something out, I'll wait.
...
Yeah, exactly. Which explains my reluctance to watch this episode. It appears even the production staff had problems with it as well, as RRG! ep09 had some technical difficulties that delayed it a day. Still, I've come this far, I can't exactly quit now. Y'all can thank me later.
It is a week after the events of last episode. Rio lost her not-so-epic battle against her turncoat half-sister Rina, losing her Gates in the process. It also appears that one of the stipulations from an earlier Gate battle were still in effect, so The Owner has lost his Casino Island to the grasping claws of the evil Cartia. She let him keep Sky Resort, but he's lost his mooring rights to the Island. No mooring, no resupply, no guests, no business, no money. Well, at least he managed to set the thing down in the ocean, where it floats quite nicely. Evil Cartia has also fired everybody who used to work for The Owner. Oddly, nobody blames Rio for this turn of events, but The Owner. To be fair, it was pretty stupid to agree to such stakes. But then, this IS RRG!. You've gotta expect such things. When the Usual Suspects confronts him, he's strangely silent. Another of those remarkable coincidences sends the clumsy Anya sprawling, and...
...his head comes off? Seems he's been getting so much crepe from the Usual Suspects that he made Linda take his place. But where is he? And, if the Usual Suspects have lost their jobs, why are they still wearing their casino outfits? Couldn't they afford off-duty clothing? Heck, we know Ella and Illa have regular clothes, we saw them wearing such things back in ep01...
...I guess the production team had a budget to work with back then. Well, RRG! is hardly the first show to blow their wardrobe budget on ep01, then have to struggle on for the rest of the run with nobody changing outfits. It's only been recently that we've seen characters actually wearing different clothing every day, after all. But I digress... where in the world is The Owner?
more...
...
Yeah, exactly. Which explains my reluctance to watch this episode. It appears even the production staff had problems with it as well, as RRG! ep09 had some technical difficulties that delayed it a day. Still, I've come this far, I can't exactly quit now. Y'all can thank me later.
It is a week after the events of last episode. Rio lost her not-so-epic battle against her turncoat half-sister Rina, losing her Gates in the process. It also appears that one of the stipulations from an earlier Gate battle were still in effect, so The Owner has lost his Casino Island to the grasping claws of the evil Cartia. She let him keep Sky Resort, but he's lost his mooring rights to the Island. No mooring, no resupply, no guests, no business, no money. Well, at least he managed to set the thing down in the ocean, where it floats quite nicely. Evil Cartia has also fired everybody who used to work for The Owner. Oddly, nobody blames Rio for this turn of events, but The Owner. To be fair, it was pretty stupid to agree to such stakes. But then, this IS RRG!. You've gotta expect such things. When the Usual Suspects confronts him, he's strangely silent. Another of those remarkable coincidences sends the clumsy Anya sprawling, and...
...his head comes off? Seems he's been getting so much crepe from the Usual Suspects that he made Linda take his place. But where is he? And, if the Usual Suspects have lost their jobs, why are they still wearing their casino outfits? Couldn't they afford off-duty clothing? Heck, we know Ella and Illa have regular clothes, we saw them wearing such things back in ep01...
...I guess the production team had a budget to work with back then. Well, RRG! is hardly the first show to blow their wardrobe budget on ep01, then have to struggle on for the rest of the run with nobody changing outfits. It's only been recently that we've seen characters actually wearing different clothing every day, after all. But I digress... where in the world is The Owner?
more...
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