An Explanation

Over at Steven's place, he apologizes for not providing his usual bountiful amounts of free ice cream.  I, on the other hand, am not going to apologize for not give you much in the way of deep meaningful free ice cream as of late, because I'm actually doing you a favor by not writing.

Collectively I hear your eyes roll like so many 14-pound balls down a well-waxed bowling alley.  "Oh look, Wonderduck is going to whine about how bad he is at writing again."  Nope, I'm not.  What I am, however, is in a rather hideous mood.  It was only brought to my attention recently, but enough people confirmed it so it must be true. 

In some of my various notes and such, I can see that these people are correct.  I do appear to be in something of a snit (or is that a bolotomus?), and I fear that it has leeched into my scribblings.  Or will, if I let it... and I would.  This is not a good thing, even on an Episodic Writeup, and don't think I don't remember that I'm supposed to be working on the Eva movies.

I'll be in Florida for half of next week... big company shindig.  I'll take Wanderduck with me, probably get some "rubber duck at 30000 feet" pictures.  Unfortunately, I won't be back until Saturday evening, meaning I'll be missing a good portion of the 24 Hours of LeMans.  Drat, etc.  So that's the story from my end.  It's for your own good.  Remember that.

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A Pleasant Afternoon

It's a little after four in the afternoon.  I'm sitting in my office at the Duck U Bookstore, having just gotten off a conference call with twenty-some-odd other managers.  It's warm and kinda humid, but I've got a fan close at hand to keep me from boiling away like liquid nitrogen in a fireplace.  And then my Assistant Manager comes in, saying "the tornado sirens just went off.  Everybody's heading to the basement."

You might see the white cross next to the word "Rockford" up there... that's roughly where Duck U is located... and that big red splotch directly on top of it is roughly where the multiple funnel clouds were seen.  No reports of damage other than branches and flooding yet, but it did get somewhat tense.  Okay, a lot tense.  "Hand me my brown trousers" tense.  We sat in the basement for about a half-hour or so, half the people staring at their smartphones, the other half staring at the people staring at their smartphones.  Some gallows humor floated about: "we're all down here so it'll be easier to find the bodies when the building collapses," that sort of thing.

Obviously, we survived.  There's more storms coming through... in fact, there's a tornado on the ground as I type this, near Sterling (headed south-east, though)... but the bad stuff is supposedly over for the night.  We can only hope.

UPDATE: There was, apparently, another tornado in the same place later.  We're not talking Oklahoma-scale things here, mind you, but the National Weather Service is sending out investigators in the morning.  Looks like worst is over, but if you're in the way of this storm line, hunker down!

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Intrigue, Danger: Family Version

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Taste the Danger. Feel The Intrigue.

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Thank You, Quacked Panes

Back in 2009, I wrote a little post about a new webcomic named Quacked Panes.  Written and photographed by a member of the Pond Scum named GreyDuck, it was a little strip about a small collection of rubber ducks trying to make their way through life.  As time went on, it became a twice-weekly staple of my interweb readings... to be sure, to begin with it was simply because of the rubber duckies, because I'm nothing if not all about the rubber duckies, but I very quickly realized there was an extremely snarky wit behind the cute ducks, too. 

I'm proud to say that I played a tiny part in the success that was Quacked Panes, via duck donations and one short, forgettable series of replacement strips while GD was on holiday.  I'm glad GD let me play in his world a little bit... he certainly inspired me to do my Halloween Event... thing. 

Today, after 400-plus entries and four years later to the day, GreyDuck posted the last Quacked Panes strip.  The entire Pond has a gigantic sad, and it just got really really dusty in Pond Central.

Go over there and give the archive a read, won't you?  You really won't regret it.

Thanks, GD.  Thank you, Quacked Panes.  We really did have fun.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:54 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I Even Forgot A Title.

It's hard for me to put into words everything that's racing through my brain right now, but I'll give some of it a shot.

I am weary.  Bone-tired.  I get home from work, and all I want to do is lie down and take a nap.  Eating is good, too, and I usually manage to do that, but I'll grab a couple hours of blissful slumber, get up, putter around until midnight, then go back to bed.  The next day, I wake up and do it all over again.  I suspect that's part of the problem: as of this past Monday, I've worked at the Duck U Bookstore for nine years.  That's a long-ish time... it's the longest I've worked in any one place, times two-and-change.  Oh sure, I worked in radio for eight years or so, but it was in two installments.  If you're talking full-time employment, I ran a different bookstore for three years.  So, yeah, long time in one place, looking at the same carpeting, the same ugly cream paint in my office, yadda.

I haven't really had any fun for a few months... oddly enough, it was work related, too.  When I was last in Chicago, I had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory (as described at the start of this post), and looking back at it, I had a great time.  Sure, I've had dinner with The Librarian a few times since then, and that's fun, but for FUN FUN, I have to go back to February.  That's depressing.

I haven't even enjoyed Formula 1.  Maybe you've noticed?  Or maybe you don't, because it feels like nobody is reading the F1U!s anymore... and I'm pretty sure I don't blame you. 

*whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne*

I'm shutting up now.  Stuff tomorrow and over the weekend.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 09:49 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Taste The Intrigue. Feel The Danger.

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Well, THAT Was A Code Brown...

Imagine this, if you will:

Outside The Pond, there was a thunderstorm going on.  A big one.  One that, in fact, had spawned a tornado an hour earlier.  Accompanying the thunderstorm were pretty decent winds, small hail, and what looked like the entire contents of the Gulf of Mexico.  Despite all that, the temperatures only dropped five degrees when the front came through.  Unfortunate, as it's been kinda hot and humid-ish all day.  Still, it looked like the front was moving quickly and everything would be calming down in maybe 10 minutes.

And then the tornado warning sirens began to go off.

I got off the internet and headed for the hallway that leads from my living room to the bathroom, while grabbing the TV remote and calling up the good local news station... only to find that nobody knew why the sirens were going off.  A minute or two later, they stopped.

Well.  "Hand me my brown trowsers, please."

UPDATE, 5/20:  Found out this morning that the sirens went off because a police officer saw a funnel cloud over the city.  Good call.

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The Saddest Thing Ever

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Simply Amazing

How is this video not being hailed as one of Humanity's Great Accomplishments?

In my lifetime, we've gone from grainy black-and-white video of Neil Armstrong's small step that the entire world watched... to a Canadian mission commander in a more-or-less permanent space station orbiting the Earth, just shortly before he returned to Earth in a Russian capsule, singing a song originally recorded by a Brit a month before that first moon walk.  And it's all in glorious high definition video.

When did the world get so blasé about stuff like this?  How did we let it get so jaded?  What's wrong with us???

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I Can't NOT Post This...

...it's too perfect.

Teh Cute!  IZ TOO MUCH CUTE!

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orz

Many of you, my hale and hearty readers, may have noticed something of a decrease in my output of free ice-cream as of late, and arguably a decrease in quality as well.  This is an observation that I would tend to agree with.  My long-time readers, probably less hale and hearty owing to being here longer, probably have some inkling as to why this is occurring.  To whit, Finals week begins on Monday over at Duck U., and that means it's book buyback time at the Duck U Bookstore!

"But Wonderduck," I hear you saying, and I do wish you'd stop that, it's disturbing, "that's next week, not this week, you numbskull."  To which I reply, "Yep.  And there's nothing that needs to be done to lead up to that week, nothing at all."  Sure, it isn't quite as busy at next week, but it's busy enough... and that brings me to what's going to happen with my F1 coverage.

I will be working on Saturday.  We have a registration and orientation day for incoming students, and I'll be manning the Duck U Bookstore cash register from 10am to 5pm.  As one can imagine, my coverage of Quals will probably suffer somewhat.  Allegedly I'll be leaving the store around 3pm on Friday, but that's more a hope than a for-sure.  Practice coverage, never my strong suit even in the best of days, may suffer, depending on when I actually DO leave.  At least race day won't be affected.  I'll admit to hanging on by my wingtips right now... there's so much to do, and my energy levels are somewhat low.

The good news is that I've continued to slog away at the first writeup of Eva Movie 1.11, and it's looking like it'll be quite good.  If you know what I mean.  So there's what's happening.  I'll try to bring you more soft-serve ASAP.

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Words To Live By

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BEHOLD!!!

TOAST!

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Right, Giving Up!

I've just discovered how hard it is to write something interesting on a subject you thought would be fun to write about, but was horribly wrong.  So instead here's a picture of a flat-out beautiful ship.

That's the HMS Enterprise.  Darn, that's pretty.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:49 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Meet My Newest Duck

As the title says, I'd like you to meet my newest duck!

I know he looks like a racing duck that you'd find in a river somewhere, and to be honest, that's why I picked him off the shelf in the first place.  It wasn't until I got him home that I discovered his true purpose in life and the skill that sets him apart from all of my other rubber duckies.

He glows!  Now, to be sure, I have other light-up duckies, but they all flash or color-cycle; none of them just glow brightly enough to show up on camera without a ridiculously long exposure.  Because of this, I've named him Cherenkov, or "Cherny" for short.  I've got Frank next to him, just so you can see that he gives off light... and since Frank already glows, no worries!

Posted by: Wonderduck at 09:22 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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45

Today is English Language Day at the UN.  It's also the honored Independence Day for the Conch Republic, first declared in 1982.  Japanese composer Kenji Kawaii was born today in 1957, as was Roy Orbison in 1936.  Today is an important day for the navy of the Netherlands, as both Karel Doorman and Maarten Tromp were born on April 23rd.  New Coke debuted today in 1985, leading Vaucaunson's Duck and myself to scurry around Duckford trying to find as much "old" Coke as we could.  The confusingly named People's Liberation Army Navy was founded today in 1949.  And 45 years ago, in a hospital somewhere on the North Side of Chicago, a Wonderduck was unleashed upon the world.

Nobody is more surprised than myself.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 08:02 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Ego Crushing

I'm a blogger.  Well, allegedly.  By definition, I have to have a fairly substantial ego; I write because I think I have something to say that complete strangers on the internet will find fascinatingly interesting.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I'll deny the existence of my ego until I'm blue in the face, because that's who I am, but have no fear, it's there, it's real and it's spectacular.  Which makes my encounter on Tuesday so disturbing.

You see, I met an honest-to-gawd Hero.  I met a man who flew the F-4 Phantom II, F-15 Eagle, F-16 Falcon, the U-2, the SR-71, the B-52 and the B-1.

 He earned a Silver Star, two Bronze Stars, a Distinguished Flying Cross, and two Purple Hearts.  He's an author of a book of poetry, poetry that he created as a Prisoner Of War during his six years as a POW in the Hanoi Hilton.  Poetry that he had to memorize, as he was allowed neither paper nor pencil, and disseminated to his fellow POWs via "tap code."  Of course, if he was caught at it, he'd be savagely beaten.  He retired a Major General in the US Air Force after a 37 year career.  Oh, did I mention that he's a Formula 1 fan, and has raced Formula 5000 and other open-wheel cars? 

And along the way, he picked up the skills of an excellent public speaker, too.  Funny, intelligent, clever without being in your face about it, he was one of the most entertaining speakers I've ever heard.  The only thing I couldn't figure out is where he kept his wheelbarrow. 

This was a guy who's real life makes that "Most Interesting Man In The World" character look like... well, like a blogger.  As I said, I have an ego, and a robust one at that.  I consider myself the equal of any man, and better than many.  This guy's simple existence made me doubt whether I'm the equal of his damn socks.  It's a sobering experience.

So of course, I'm blogging about it.  Smell the irony.

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April Fools Zen

The best April Fool's joke is the one that isn't.

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It's Fantasy Baseball Time Again...

...and as I need to do research for my team, the Generics, all blogging at The Pond is hereby and forthwith suspended until the auction is over.

After this post, that is.  Because if I suspended all blogging before this post, I'd already be breaking my suspension, wouldn't I? 

The auction is tomorrow morning.  It's not like I'm going to be gone for a long time or anything.  Probably not as long as some might wish.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 07:48 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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