Well, THAT Was A Code Brown...

Imagine this, if you will:

Outside The Pond, there was a thunderstorm going on.  A big one.  One that, in fact, had spawned a tornado an hour earlier.  Accompanying the thunderstorm were pretty decent winds, small hail, and what looked like the entire contents of the Gulf of Mexico.  Despite all that, the temperatures only dropped five degrees when the front came through.  Unfortunate, as it's been kinda hot and humid-ish all day.  Still, it looked like the front was moving quickly and everything would be calming down in maybe 10 minutes.

And then the tornado warning sirens began to go off.

I got off the internet and headed for the hallway that leads from my living room to the bathroom, while grabbing the TV remote and calling up the good local news station... only to find that nobody knew why the sirens were going off.  A minute or two later, they stopped.

Well.  "Hand me my brown trowsers, please."

UPDATE, 5/20:  Found out this morning that the sirens went off because a police officer saw a funnel cloud over the city.  Good call.

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The Saddest Thing Ever

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Simply Amazing

How is this video not being hailed as one of Humanity's Great Accomplishments?

In my lifetime, we've gone from grainy black-and-white video of Neil Armstrong's small step that the entire world watched... to a Canadian mission commander in a more-or-less permanent space station orbiting the Earth, just shortly before he returned to Earth in a Russian capsule, singing a song originally recorded by a Brit a month before that first moon walk.  And it's all in glorious high definition video.

When did the world get so blasé about stuff like this?  How did we let it get so jaded?  What's wrong with us???

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I Can't NOT Post This...

...it's too perfect.

Teh Cute!  IZ TOO MUCH CUTE!

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orz

Many of you, my hale and hearty readers, may have noticed something of a decrease in my output of free ice-cream as of late, and arguably a decrease in quality as well.  This is an observation that I would tend to agree with.  My long-time readers, probably less hale and hearty owing to being here longer, probably have some inkling as to why this is occurring.  To whit, Finals week begins on Monday over at Duck U., and that means it's book buyback time at the Duck U Bookstore!

"But Wonderduck," I hear you saying, and I do wish you'd stop that, it's disturbing, "that's next week, not this week, you numbskull."  To which I reply, "Yep.  And there's nothing that needs to be done to lead up to that week, nothing at all."  Sure, it isn't quite as busy at next week, but it's busy enough... and that brings me to what's going to happen with my F1 coverage.

I will be working on Saturday.  We have a registration and orientation day for incoming students, and I'll be manning the Duck U Bookstore cash register from 10am to 5pm.  As one can imagine, my coverage of Quals will probably suffer somewhat.  Allegedly I'll be leaving the store around 3pm on Friday, but that's more a hope than a for-sure.  Practice coverage, never my strong suit even in the best of days, may suffer, depending on when I actually DO leave.  At least race day won't be affected.  I'll admit to hanging on by my wingtips right now... there's so much to do, and my energy levels are somewhat low.

The good news is that I've continued to slog away at the first writeup of Eva Movie 1.11, and it's looking like it'll be quite good.  If you know what I mean.  So there's what's happening.  I'll try to bring you more soft-serve ASAP.

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Words To Live By

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BEHOLD!!!

TOAST!

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Right, Giving Up!

I've just discovered how hard it is to write something interesting on a subject you thought would be fun to write about, but was horribly wrong.  So instead here's a picture of a flat-out beautiful ship.

That's the HMS Enterprise.  Darn, that's pretty.

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Meet My Newest Duck

As the title says, I'd like you to meet my newest duck!

I know he looks like a racing duck that you'd find in a river somewhere, and to be honest, that's why I picked him off the shelf in the first place.  It wasn't until I got him home that I discovered his true purpose in life and the skill that sets him apart from all of my other rubber duckies.

He glows!  Now, to be sure, I have other light-up duckies, but they all flash or color-cycle; none of them just glow brightly enough to show up on camera without a ridiculously long exposure.  Because of this, I've named him Cherenkov, or "Cherny" for short.  I've got Frank next to him, just so you can see that he gives off light... and since Frank already glows, no worries!

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45

Today is English Language Day at the UN.  It's also the honored Independence Day for the Conch Republic, first declared in 1982.  Japanese composer Kenji Kawaii was born today in 1957, as was Roy Orbison in 1936.  Today is an important day for the navy of the Netherlands, as both Karel Doorman and Maarten Tromp were born on April 23rd.  New Coke debuted today in 1985, leading Vaucaunson's Duck and myself to scurry around Duckford trying to find as much "old" Coke as we could.  The confusingly named People's Liberation Army Navy was founded today in 1949.  And 45 years ago, in a hospital somewhere on the North Side of Chicago, a Wonderduck was unleashed upon the world.

Nobody is more surprised than myself.

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Ego Crushing

I'm a blogger.  Well, allegedly.  By definition, I have to have a fairly substantial ego; I write because I think I have something to say that complete strangers on the internet will find fascinatingly interesting.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I'll deny the existence of my ego until I'm blue in the face, because that's who I am, but have no fear, it's there, it's real and it's spectacular.  Which makes my encounter on Tuesday so disturbing.

You see, I met an honest-to-gawd Hero.  I met a man who flew the F-4 Phantom II, F-15 Eagle, F-16 Falcon, the U-2, the SR-71, the B-52 and the B-1.

 He earned a Silver Star, two Bronze Stars, a Distinguished Flying Cross, and two Purple Hearts.  He's an author of a book of poetry, poetry that he created as a Prisoner Of War during his six years as a POW in the Hanoi Hilton.  Poetry that he had to memorize, as he was allowed neither paper nor pencil, and disseminated to his fellow POWs via "tap code."  Of course, if he was caught at it, he'd be savagely beaten.  He retired a Major General in the US Air Force after a 37 year career.  Oh, did I mention that he's a Formula 1 fan, and has raced Formula 5000 and other open-wheel cars? 

And along the way, he picked up the skills of an excellent public speaker, too.  Funny, intelligent, clever without being in your face about it, he was one of the most entertaining speakers I've ever heard.  The only thing I couldn't figure out is where he kept his wheelbarrow. 

This was a guy who's real life makes that "Most Interesting Man In The World" character look like... well, like a blogger.  As I said, I have an ego, and a robust one at that.  I consider myself the equal of any man, and better than many.  This guy's simple existence made me doubt whether I'm the equal of his damn socks.  It's a sobering experience.

So of course, I'm blogging about it.  Smell the irony.

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April Fools Zen

The best April Fool's joke is the one that isn't.

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It's Fantasy Baseball Time Again...

...and as I need to do research for my team, the Generics, all blogging at The Pond is hereby and forthwith suspended until the auction is over.

After this post, that is.  Because if I suspended all blogging before this post, I'd already be breaking my suspension, wouldn't I? 

The auction is tomorrow morning.  It's not like I'm going to be gone for a long time or anything.  Probably not as long as some might wish.

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"How I Spent My Tuesday Night," by Wonderduck

Like this:

Around 515pm tonight, I was sitting in my office, counting down a cash register, when my heart skipped a beat.  Eh, no biggie, happens every now and again to pretty much everybody.  For me, it's gotten relatively routine... my doc told me it wasn't anything to worry about, after all.  And then it happened again.  Still, no worries... I've had it happen twice like that before.  Then it happened yet again.  And again.  For the next five or ten minutes, my heart was doing this oddball stuff.  When it happened twice in a row and I got all sweaty, I knew there was something very not good going on.

As I write this, it's around 1130pm, and I just got back from the Emergency Room.  Good news!  No heart attack, not even a "silent" one.  In fact all my blood test results came back clean... except for one.  It seems I'm hypothyroidic, which would account for some things that I was putting down to getting older.  I'm not a 25 year old anymore, after all.  The thyroid also has a definite tie to heart rhythm. 

So tomorrow, I get to call my doctor and make an appointment.  But I'm still alive, despite my body's best attempts at making me the opposite.  You guys can't get rid of me that easily.

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3/15/2009: Never Forget

"A bat that apparently had trouble flying instead tried to hitch a ride on the space shuttle Discovery, NASA officials said.  The animal was last seen clinging to the foam of the external tank of the space shuttle moments before the Discovery launched, officials said.  NASA had hoped that the bat would fly away on its own, but admitted the bat probably died quickly during Discovery's climb to orbit."

May we all be as brave when we are afraid as Space Bat.  Now he belongs to the stars.

To Space Bat!

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My Favorite Joke...

I note that the Roman Catholic Church elected a new Pope today.  Former Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio has now become Pope Francis, the first of his name.  I've always been somewhat in awe of the position Cardinal Bergoglio now holds; whether one is a follower of his faith, some other, or none whatsoever, the Pope is the head of an organization that counts some 1.3 billion followers.  That little fact deserves some respect, right there.  But his elevation to Pontifex Maximus allows me the chance to roll out my all-time favorite joke, which is, alas, limited in times that it can be told and still be funny.

But first, some background.  It is a winter's morning in 1992.  The sky is blue and clear, with a sort of vividness that only occurs when it is bone-achingly cold... which it is.  There's maybe a foot of fresh white snow on the ground, everywhere but streets, parking lots and sidewalks.  None of the many people visible seem to notice the cold, however.  That's because this is Minnesota, and the residents are used to it being below zero.  Well, that, and everybody has on big hulking parkas that'd keep the wearer warm on the surface of Pluto.

Amongst these huddled masses, enter Wonderduck and his fellow grad student in lighting design, Mike.  Mike and Wonderduck get along pretty well; they're both from Illinois, outsiders to these here Northerners.  Further, they're currently the only theatre tech grad students and have the same grad advisor.  To say they spend a lot of time together would be something of an understatement: they have the same classes, work on each others productions (example: Mike is a show's lighting designer, Wonderduck would be his master electrician, and vice-versa), help teach the same classes, and so on.  The main difference between them is that Mike is pushing 40, while Wonderduck is in his low 20s.  Both have an interest in history, however, that often left the other grad students bored and confused. 

On this frigid morning, Wonderduck and Mike are walking from their reserved parking spots towards the theatre building, about a three-block stroll.  Normally not a problem, on mornings like this it could be considered something of a trial for us Illinoisans and our thin "southern" blood.  As we make our way towards the warmth of the tallest building in the city, we turn a corner that reveals the northern edge of the campus.  The theatre building is there, and just to the west, across a wide expanse of courtyard (that I was known to fly kites from, even in January, but I digress), the Freshman Dorm building. 

As anybody who's experienced bitterly cold days like this one will attest, things like vehicles and buildings appear to smoke a lot when it's frigid, and this day was no exception.  Small cars would go by, leaving clouds of exhaust to rival any jumbo jet contrail.  Buildings seemed to have their own external microclimate, wreathed as they are in clouds of steam condensate.  For whatever reason, however, on this day the Freshman Dorm was pumping out enough of this stuff to make any nuclear power plant cooling tower feel inadequate, and it was all a pure, pristine white.

At this point, Mike turned to Wonderduck and said "wow, look at that."  Wonderduck, suitably impressed, nodded and said to Mike "Yeah.  You know what that means, right?"

A beat passed before Mike replied with excellent comic timing: "The freshmen have elected a Pope?"

Exunt two grad students, laughing uproariously.

And now you know why my favorite joke is only funny at very limited and specific times. 

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:09 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Getting Better, Not Gotten Better.

Hey everybody, I've got great news!

The Dacia Sandero will not be appearing in this post!  Oh, and I'm feeling better already!  As you may remember from that long ago post from... yesterday, I think it was, I had been diagnosed with bronchitis, suffered a damaged muscle in my side, and was generally feeling just rather medically unhappy.  To solve the bronchitis, the doctor gave me azithromycin, an antibiotic that costs $15.52 per pill, which fact blew my tiny little mind and made me so very glad I have a full-time job with pretty decent health-care benefits.  To take care of the muscle-thingy, he... well, he didn't really do anything.  Not much he could do, to be honest, except say "find a position that makes it hurt less when you cough."  I've done so, and I'm awfully glad my job tends to keep me in the back room.  Makes it ever so much easier to what, did you really think there'd be something naughty here? and then you didn't learn the last time?.  That's just embarrassing to do every time I cough.

But to deal with the unhappiness, he gave me Cheratussin AC.  This is a foul tasting syrup that supports a dose of an effective expectorant... and codeine.  Truthfully, it's not doing all that much other than making me cough, which hurts, but the codeine is making it not hurt so much.  It balances out.  The bad part of all of these wonderdrugs is that, well, I came home from work, had something to eat, then immediately crawled into bed and stayed there until just now... meaning I didn't do the first official post of the new F1 season tonight.  I'll do it tomorrow, I promise.

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Why Create THOSE???

So, remember that cold I had?  For the most part, the symptoms have gone completely away, except for one: the cough.  The cough has stuck around like the last guest at a party, the one who just won't take the hint to get out.  Still, it hasn't been a bad thing... it sounded bad, but really didn't hurt or anything like that.  But then, last night, just as I was getting ready to go to sleep, I had one big cough...

...and it felt like most of the contents of those trays were jammed a spot just below my ribs on the left side.  From the amount of pain involved, I thought I had just broken a rib.  After a couple of minutes, I realized I hadn't, because I could breathe without pain.  I went to the Immediate Care place nearby this afternoon.  X-rays were taken, and the new diagnosis came down: I have bronchitis and perhaps a muscle tear.  It only hurts when I cough.  Or twist.

I've been given Azithromycin, and a prescription for a cough medicine that I want to have checked out by my doctor due to my heart thingy.  But hopefully this will make me better soon... I don't want to be sick for the first F1 race of the year.

UPDATE: I realized just now that I never did get around to explaining the title of this post.  When I ask "Why create those???", I'm referring to viruses that cause this whatever-it-is that I've got.  Both Ph.Duck and his spouse are dealing with it, and from what he was told, the ick that's in this area is actually two viruses, one piggybacking on the other.  One brings the cold/flu symptoms, the other carries the crap I'm dealing with.  I'd love love love to know why these things came to be. 

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Snow Day! Snow Day!

Duck U is closed today due to inclement weather.  To whit: lotsa snow!

It's a snow day!

UPDATE: As of 9pm, we're looking at 9.6" of snow on the ground here at Pond Central.  Far and away our heaviest snowfall of the winter.  In March.  When it's supposed to be over and done with.  *sigh*  I tell ya, Nature.

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I'm A Wimp

As you know, I spent last week in Chicago in a manager training meeting.  Forty of us, trapped in a room all day for five days... and two of the other managers were sick.  It's as much an occupational hazard for us as papercuts, ulcers and murder charges, but it's been a few years since I had a long-term ick.  Oh, I had that stomach flu / food poisoning thing a couple of Januarys back, but that only lasted a couple of days (thankfully).  Other than that?  I've been pretty good.

I came home from the meetings on Saturday.  That night, I had a little tickle in the back of my throat, but I figured that was because of the square of chipotle chili dark chocolate I had just eaten.  Sunday, the tickle became something more than a tickle, and I'm sure you can see where this is going.  By Tuesday night, I felt pretty darn bad, coughing, sneezing, headache, sore throat... but I just felt awful.  I went to work on Wednesday morning, but I immediately knew it was a mistake.  I gave up at 10am, and headed right to the doctor's office.  I was expecting a diagnosis of something like the Black Death, or Ebola, or porphyric hemophilia or something like that... I mean, I felt so miserable, it had to be something terrible.

I've got a cold.

I'm a wimp.

Posted by: Wonderduck at 10:24 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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