January 22, 2020

Terry Jones, Screeching Harridan, Passes Away

Terry Jones, one of the members of Monty Python, became the nude organist for the choir invisible today.  He was 77.


Sadly, he'd been suffering from a rare form of dementia since 2016 and had lost the ability to speak over a year ago.  Best known for his work with the legendary comedy troupe, Jones was also an accomplished director, historian and children's book author.

A few months ago, I wrote about the effect Monty Python's Flying Circus had on my sense of humor, but it was only today I discovered that Jones was the "inventor" of the show's non-ending ending... a sketch has gotten lost along the way to the punch line?  Have a knight in full armor walk in and hit somebody over the head with a rubber chicken. Have someone in uniform declare everything to be too silly and cut to another sketch.  Simple and stupid, sure, but funny as hell and I've used the same technique in my writing here at The Pond over the years.

I had just glanced at my phone after briefly waking up this morning and saw the news that he had died, and I can't explain just how strongly it affected me.  I mean, beyond rolling over and going back to sleep.  I've long outgrown the concept of personal heroes, but the Pythons are the closest I might possibly have anymore.  They've been one of the few things that I can say have always been a part of my life... at least, as long as I've been aware of such things.  And now I've gotten old enough to see them begin to go away.  Hard to come to grips with such thoughts at nine in the morning..

And now I'm going to go watch the Spam sketch.

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January 13, 2020

When Two Hobbies Collide

Today is National Rubber Ducky Day.


Even Jeanne Alter from Fate Grand Order is excited!  And really, who could blame her?

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January 10, 2020

Neal Peart

If you are approximately my age, you or someone you knew was a fan of Rush when you were in high school.  Me, I liked a number of their songs but I couldn't call myself a real fan... mainly because of the rabidness of the REAL fans who insisted they were the greatest band ever.  Kinda off-putting, y'know?  Particularly when you were like me and you preferred more synths and new wave.


As time went on, nothing ever really changed my opinions towards the band... a few great songs, a lot of usually pretentious prog-rock-y stuff, and an overzealous fan base.  I did acknowledge, however, the unquestioned skill of Geddy Lee on bass, Alex Lifeson on guitar, and Neal Peart who is pretty much on the very very very short list of "best rock drummers of all time."  You might be able to convince me there's someone better. Modern Drummer has him as the #2 rock drummer, #3 overall, behind Buddy Rich and Led Zeppelin's John Bonham.  Well, maybe so.
Neal Peart died today at the age of 67.  He apparently had been battling brain cancer for the past few years, but keeping it quiet from the public at large.  Despite not being the megafan who will be deeply wounded by his passing, I wanted to acknowledge him... if for no other reason than he was the subject of one of the first bits of fan-made CGI I had ever seen.
2004.  Remember 2004?  I have a hard time remembering that far back anymore... I had just started working at the Duck U Bookstore after CowPuters went under, that's how far back we're talking.  I'm sure many of the Pond Scum remember the video fondly, or at least remember it.  

The Pond's condolences to his family, friends, and fans.

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January 03, 2020

Mexican Dancing Cow

Submitted without comment for your edification.

You may now continue on with your life secure in the knowledge that you have seen the Mexican Dancing Cow.

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December 31, 2019

New Years Eve 2019

2019 was not a good year.

May 2020 be better for all the Pond Scum.

Thank you for sticking with me.

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December 25, 2019

Christmas 2019 - Haruhi Style

MUCH nicer Christmas than last year's disaster.  Oh, the Christmas itself wasn't the problem, it was the leg injury that occurred for reasons that are still a mystery to me... and that led to me being stuck in bed for 24+ hours.  From there, it's an easily-drawn line to where I am today.

None of that happened this year.  Therefore, it was INFINITELY better.  And it allegedly hit 61 degrees too.  In December.  On Christmas.  In Duckford, IL.  What in the blue blazes...?  In any case... huge thanks go out to Ph.Duck and Rn.Duck for putting up with me for another year, and the annual bottle of lingonberry will die happy soon enough.

And of course, you... the proud members of the Pond Scum.  I've been letting The Pond down over the past year, which I hate but haven't been able to do anything about.  Hopefully, next year will be better in all sorts of ways!  Merry Christmas!!!

I just started playing Fate Grand Order.  I'm fairly sure an opening draw of three lancers (and one of them duplicated!) and an assassin is pretty cruddy.  Welp, we'll just see where it goes from here.

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December 23, 2019

Glad I'm Out

I had need to call my local Walgreens' pharmacy today.  Nothing complex, not even all that important as it turns out.  I easily could have not bothered and nothing would have been changed or affected in any way... that's how "not important" it was.


As the conversation came to an end, I did what any decent human being would do: I wished the pharmacy tech a Happy Holidays.  I mean, Christmas is just a couple of days away, I'm sure they were stupidly busy, and they took a moment or two out to answer the stupid question of someone who was, honestly, wasting their time.

If they had gone off on me, well, I can't say I'd have been happy about it, but I would have understood.  As y'all know, I worked retail for far too long to ever really blame someone in the biz for losing their minds at this time of year.  Instead of that, however, what I got was either a great acting job or someone who was honestly surprised and pleased to have gotten pleasant holiday wishes.

Which makes me wonder... just how bad IS it out there these days?  I mean, retail employee abuse doesn't shock me, but I didn't even say "Merry Christmas."  Just Happy Holidays, like I was taught to do when I was behind the counter so as not to potentially offend anybody.  Yes, I know, but old habits and all that.  I've stayed out of the stores and malls this season, so I have no clue about crowd size but judging from that one phone call, the grind apparently sucks quite badly now.

Be nice to retail workers.  They're trying to help you have a merry Christmas, don't make it hard for them to have one too.

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December 16, 2019

Today Is December 16th...

...and you know what THAT means:


The morning of December 16th... it was so cold... and I mean cold.  That if you took an ice pick and plunged it into the ground, you'd shatter the Earth into a million pieces.
- Kyon, The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya

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December 10, 2019

Endings And Beginnings II

HMS Prince of Wales.  Sunk on December 10th, 1941.


HMS Prince of Wales.  Commissioned into the Royal Navy December 10th, 2019.

There is no way that wasn't intentional, and the RN deserves a round of applause for it.  If only they could have put the ship's bell that was recovered from the battleship on the carrier...

On second thought, sailors are a superstitious lot.  Maybe putting the bell from a sunken ship on board a brand-new one is a bad idea.

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December 06, 2019

Once Upon A Time...

Back in the days before the Duck U Bookstore, heck back before the days of CowPuters, I worked at the local news-talk radio station as a buttonpusher show producer on a fill-in basis.  I did have one regular shift however... the Sunday Morning Church shift.  I mean, it started at 6am with the Catholic Mass in Swedish, for heaven's sake, pun not intended.  The Salvation Army had a recorded program, there was a program I literally never paid attention to except to make sure it was still running, there was the live-in-studio show with the purple-suit-clad preacher who was, eventually, removed from his position in his church because he got a little too close to some of his female parishioners, and then there was the show I privately called "the church ladies."


Yeah, kinda like that, except not at all.  The preacher in purple I mentioned earlier?  The church ladies usually matched him sequin for sequin when they came in, spoke loudly and cackled even louder.  But their chat show took place in and around gospel music songs... and since I was the button-pusher I had to pay attention for the cues and stuff.  And along the way, I discovered something: gospel music could be quite good.
I found out today that one of my favorite groups from that show, The Blind Boys of Alabama are still recording, and what I was playing for the Church Ladies was already 30 years old at the time.  

Really, there's no reason for this post other than to mention that.  Have a nice day!

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December 02, 2019

Cyber Monday

Maybe it's just that I'm old or something, but I can't be the only person around who thinks calling it CYBER Monday is hilarious, right?


I mean, "cyber" means something completely different to me... and probably to others my age, right?

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November 25, 2019

Huh. Upgrades!

A week ago last Sunday, I began to have a very odd sort of problem with my internet connection.  Everything would be fine, normal speed, no problems, I walk away for some reason, come back a half-hour later, and the internet would be... missing.  The computer could see the modem on my side, the internet provider could see the modem from their side, but never the twain shall meet. And the entire time the modem would be happily saying that it was connected and it had no idea what anybody was talking about.  But then, some time later... a half-hour, a couple of hours... internet was back like there had never been a problem in the first place.


Monday, everything was fine for most of the day.  It wasn't until mid-evening that the internet went away, but by the time I had finished dinner an hour or so later, it was back.  Didn't even bother calling the internet provider.  Tuesday, it worked in the daytime, but as soon as the sun began to go down, *poof* the signal went away and wouldn't come back until around midnight. Solar-based internet issues???

The next day was more of the same, tech support still had no idea what the issue was ("It should be working!"),  I had a pretty good idea what the issue was ("Tech support is dumber than a shipping container full of hair!"), but fortunately I could at least get caught up on the Great Anime Backlog.  Thursday?  It was down all day, only coming back late in the evening.  Another frustrating call to tech support.  I went to bed late... or very early that night.  Only to be woken at 930 the next morning by the apartment complex's maintenance guy who specializes in tech support knocking on the door.

After asking him to please step back out of my apartment so I could get dressed, I had to explain to him exactly how everything was acting, how no amount of resetting, unplugging, replacing, troubleshooting, sacrificing of goats, anything, had made a difference, and the only commonality was that eventually it would come back and the modem was acting like everything was fine the whole time... and indeed, as we stood there, the computer was acting like the world was missing.  Techie hooked up his test modem, and instantly the whole of the interwebz was revealed for all to see.

Techie took a closer look at my equipment, and realized that it was one of the original cable modems from when broadband was first turned on at the apartment complex... 12 years ago.  He then said that I was probably the only person left in the complex that still had one... between hardware failures and people moving out, all the others had been retired.  He left, heading for the leasing office to explain what the situation was to The Powers That Be.  A half-hour later, he was back with a new modem in hand... a replacement for the old one, free of charge from the complex.  Living in one place for a long time does have its benefits sometimes.  And as an added bonus... it has built-in WiFi!  No more data usage on my cellphone!  No more waiting 30 seconds for a simple google search to complete after I hit my 2 GB max for the month!

I can get used to that.  And I am!

EDIT: Completely forgot to mention... MUH SPEEDS!  Download speeds, not exactly slow before, have literally doubled.  Like, two minutes per GB, and sometimes less?  So, to recap: solid internet connection, with WiFi, and a doubling of speeds both up and down... for free?  The only way I can compare that to real life would be stepping outside and discovering that the DuckMobile has been replaced by a Ford GT... except without all the cranky supercar bits.  And a higher and stronger suspension so I can sit in it without bottoming the car out.  And maybe some way to me into and out of it without amputating my legs.  So, really, not a Ford GT at all.  But you know what I'm trying to say.

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November 20, 2019

Ducks In Anime: Now With Less Giraffe

-Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight, Ep03
If you had told me that the director of this show had never worked with the director of Revolutionary Girl Utena, I would not have believed you.  And I would have been correct: the director of Revue Starlight, Tomohiro Furukawa, was assistant director on Yuri Kuma Arashi under Kunihiko Ikuhara.  And boy, does it show.

It's not quite as stylized and "out there" as Utena, but the ties are there.  The same fever-dream imagery, girls and swords, the same grand theatrical attitude towards itself.  Which is good, since Revue Starlight is ABOUT theatre.  Not surprising; the anime is based on a stage production that's half-musical, quarter-Cirque du Soleil, and quarter-Formula 1 Qualifying.  Which sounds weird, but trust me on this one... it is.  But in a good way!  If you've ever spent any serious amount of time in the theatre biz, this is a must-watch.  If you haven't, it's basically a sports series with a serious psychological aspect.  And singing.

A lot of singing.  In flat-out stage musical style.  These ain't pop songs, these aren't Idols, these are being sung by professional musical theatre actresses, many of whom have either been in or would join the stage productions.  And they're friggin' excellent.  It's been a long, long time since a series made me feel the way this one does.  I actually despise one of the characters... not because she's written poorly but because if you've spent any time in theatre, you know her attitude is... untenable.  That's good work from the writers.  But don't go into this expecting Idol happiness and fluff, you won't get it.  Does the possibility frighten you?

I understand.

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November 12, 2019

Because Rusty2 Said So

When my rubber duckies start talking to me, telling me to do something, I'm gonna do it.  So when Rusty2 said "post that picture, I look good in it," I'm sure as heck not gonna say no.

Oh sure, like your rubber ducks don't talk to you?  

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November 06, 2019

She Needs Us

On November 7th, 2009, this video was posted to Youtube for the first time:

Now on the verge of the 10th anniversary of God Knows being made available to the world by the SOS Brigade, a concerted effort is being made to push the video over 100 million views.  At the time of this writing, it's only 36000 views short.  I call on the accumulated members of The Pond Scum: let's make it happen!

You don't want Haruhi to be disappointed.

Edit: changed the target from ten million to the correct one hundred million.  

Another Edit: Nine hours to go until Midnight Pond Central Time, and we're less than 18000 views away from the goal.

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October 30, 2019

Not So Little David

One can't help but think that Morty was... um... overcompensating for something.

One of those things that nobody ever thinks about is bomb aerodynamics.  I mean regular people, that is.  The military, they think about things like that all the time.  After all, when you strap something to the bottom of a wing, it's usually a really good idea to make sure it's not going to have the airflow of an apartment building.  Also, when you drop something from an airplane, it makes it a lot easier to hit what you're aiming at if you know how the thing is going to "fly".  Fall.  Plummet.  You know what I mean.

But of course, there's a catch: getting the darn thing into the sky in the first place.  If it's got more drag than RuPaul on Halloween, strapping it to a wing may not be good for the plane or pilot's long-term survival chances.  Putting it in the bomb bay of a larger plane sounds good, until you actually drop it and you haven't the faintest idea what's going to happen next.  If it tumbles instantly upon the application of an airflow, it's a bad idea to find that out at altitude after it rips your tail off.

So what's an aerial ordinance designer to do?  Well that's just easy as pie: get it into the air without an airplane!  Easy!  Except we're talking about something 500, 1000, 2000 pounds in weight... you can't just pick it up and throw it like a baseball.  Well, I can't, maybe you can.  500lbs is the weight of a 10" naval shell, 2000lbs is closer to a 16" battleship round.  So what's a good way to do it?

Meet the Little David, a 36" caliber mortar!  Yes, a three FOOT diameter barrel.  You put an aerial bomb into a... kind-of sabot thingy... and voop!  You've got a way to get an aerial bomb into the air without endangering an aircraft.  It didn't have much of a range considering the size involved, less than 10km, and accuracy came down to "over there somewhere", but that's not what the US military was wanting anyway.  

Until people began to realize that that the Japanese were turning the home islands into a fortress, and then they began to look at the Little David as a bunker buster of extreme proportions.  The Powers That Be developed a 36" shell, weighing over 3600 pounds, for the mortar.  Problem was that neither the accuracy nor the range was ever improved, and it was never what you could call "portable."  See that wall the guy is standing in front of?  That's a concrete and steel base that had to be buried for stability purposes that the mortar itself would be placed into... the FORTY TON mortar and the FORTY-SIX TON base.

Of course the invasion of Japan never occurred, and people quietly retired Little David as a weapon.  Only one of the six built exists today, and it's on display at the Aberdeen Proving Grounds in Maryland.

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October 21, 2019

Akagi Found!

As I semi-postulated would occur in the Kaga post, Paul Allen's team has now found what they are pretty sure to be the Akagi.


Guess the report on them having another ship's location was right!  All of this was breaking just shortly before I'm typing this, so we don't have much information yet, and the RV Petrel apparently either hasn't been down yet or they haven't released any footage.  Still, we can tell a lot from these sonar images.  Like Kaga, Akagi is sitting upright, and it sure looks like she hit with not too much horizontal motion.  I'm hardly an expert on that sort of stuff, so take it with a grain of salt.  

I'm pretty sure the bow is to the left in both images.  If she landed stern-first, that might explain the "arrow-head" shape... the impact could have compressed the stern maybe?  Of course, the flight deck is gone, though I wonder if the Akagi's massive underdeck supports might still be there?  In any case, this is just as exciting as the Kaga finding, and for similar reasons.  Hopefully we'll get to see more as the day goes on!

edit: forgot to mention... according to a comment I saw from Jon Parshall over at the Petrel's facebook page, the Nauticos company did not share the location of the chunk of Kaga's hull with Paul Allen's team... they found the ship on their own, making all this even more incredible.

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October 18, 2019

Kaga Found!

The late Paul Allen's team has done it one more time... and this time, they did something I thought would never happen.


They found the Kaga.

In this sonar image, the stern is in the lower-right corner.  The Kaga's flight deck is gone, which comes as no surprise whatsoever.  Of the four Japanese carriers sunk at Midway, Kaga was the one that suffered the most grievous and swift fire damage.  Nearly all of her hangar deck personnel (aircraft mechanics and armorers) were killed by the fires caused when a 1000lb bomb punched through her flight deck to explode among fully fueled and mostly armed aircraft.  That particular explosion also ruptured her avgas lines, knocked out the generators powering the water pumps, damaged the fire mains, and destroyed a one-shot carbon-dioxide fire smothering device.

The ship is upright in the sea floor, though she's quite deep in the mud and silt.  Information is still sparse... the announcement was only made about five hours ago as I write this... but from what I've managed to piece together, they should still be able to locate where the Nauticos chunk would fit on the hull.

Undoubtedly the Nauticos find is what allowed Paul Allen's group to narrow down the search area. There's only a finite amount of distance the burning ship could have moved before she was scuttled, and the Nauticos report linked above gives a presumed maximum of about five hours, 30 minutes from the time the chunk was blown free to the time of scuttling.  So knowing the ship went roughly thataway for up to 5h30m gives you a search area.  Then it's just the tedious job of combing the ocean floor with sonar and ROV until you find something.

Like a piece of hull with a gun turret on the side.  Oh, and speaking of  finding something... one report I saw said they have a strong possibility for another ship location.  Could we have an Akagi or Soryu next?  Hiryu is probably quite a distance away from the others... if any of them is going to stay missing now, I'm guessing its her.

Holy crap, folks... I'm actually giddy about this.  Seriously: what a find!  Naval historians everywhere owe the late Paul Allen a debt of gratitude... pour a YooHoo out for your homie tonight!

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October 12, 2019

Well I Dunno.

Don't have a whole lot to say these days.  Still unemployed, still secluded, still... I dunno.


Here's a cleverly edited AMV:
Remember when I used to post five times a week?  Good times, good times.

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October 05, 2019

Python 50

Today is the 50th anniversary of the first episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus.

I don't believe there's been ANYthing that's been more influential in my sense of humor, and possibly my entire life, than Python.  At the age of nine, every Sunday night at 930pm you could find me camped out in front of the television at the Old Home Pond.  Then, after staring at a blank screen for a while, I'd actually turn it on.
What came forth from that box would change me forever.  I knew types of cheeses that didn't exist yet.  I learned that hedgehogs hated gangsters.  I learned that penguins were electric and had long stinging tentacles.  Musical instruments played by whacking mice with hammers.  I learned what a fjord was, and that certain types of parrots pined for them.  I learned what a twit was.
As it turned out, very little of this would help me in the formal sense.  I knew the winners of the 1949 FA Cup but I couldn't do math.
Despite this, there's no question that my life, and that of countless others, has been...
...improved by Monty Python being in it.  It's a debt I can never repay, nor would I want to... who has that much gouda?

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